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twenty two Tucson at your nearest Hyundai dealer, learn more at hondausa dot com call, five hundred and sixty two three hundred and fourteen four thousand six hundred and three for complete details. The past year has found so wild, I like hard and good and a lot of chaos and if you're like me, the morning routine. That you have for your day is everything it's how we figure out. What comes next, it's how we practise gratitude and

our selves, and it is how we lay our priorities and figure out where we're going. If you haven't yet built a morning routine, I want to make sure you know about the start today: brand. It is a collection of gorgeous journals and planners that helps centre. You help you practice gratitude copy, set goals and stay focused in the midst of chaos and in the case of the planner, it helps you break apart. Those big gigantic dreams in to achieve a bull bite size pieces. You can find out more at start today. Dotcom hi, I'm Rachel Hollis, and this is my podcast I

spend so many hours of every single week. Reading and listened podcast and watching Youtube videos and trying to find out as much as I can about the world around me and that's what we do on this show. We talk about everything, life and how to be an entrepreneur. What happened dinosaurs? What's the best recipe for fried chicken? What's the best plan for intermittent fasting? What's going on with our inner child house therapy working out for whatever it is. My guests are into. I want to unpack it so that we can all understand these our conversations. This is information for the curious. This is the Rachel Hollis, I guess I guys welcome to another week the podcast, and

this week- is interesting- maybe something a bit more on them small side than I might normally do an one of my solo episodes. But it feels fitting- because I am according as on July. Second, twenty, twenty one and exactly one year ago, today, on July Second, twenty twenty, I moved out of the house that I shared with mine. Now ex husband, I moved out of the house that my kids were n. I moved away from home and into a new home and it was one of the hardest scary ass, an also exciting times of my life and there are so many big heavy emotions. Last year, on this day,

and I thought man I'd love to talk about what I ve learned in a year of being on my own in a year of being single, and maybe your listening to this you're like were who cares or people who are single all the time? But the interesting thing about my story, if you're not familiar, is that I met my ex husband when I was eighteen and I had ever gone on a date before ever like I, zero experience, and so when I got divorced last year I found myself like beyond grappling with divorce and how painful that was and what it meant for my kids and the end of this thing like just beyond all of that, like all of that which are so much

I also was grappling with really never having been on my own, like as a grown up, grown up indefinitely, lived with a roommate and allay before I met my ex husband and then I definitely hide. I think a year in an apartment by myself, buddy. and then I was in a nineteen years old like I just had no to what I was doing said. This was really the first time that I, like I was a grown up- and I was single and I was living. a house, and just was stuff is a lot of things and I feel it I've learned so much and last year about myself and just man, What it all, what it all means right and so, on the anniversary of this day, I thought I would talk to you

about some lessons I learn when I was journaling this morning. I I was journaling like what I had learned in the last twelve and then I'm gonna die he threw them now and maybe you'll find it interesting if you're going through a big life, position or maybe just find it interesting as something. this funding here about other pupils drama, but this is why this week's is about one year post moving out of my house and into a new place. So I guess where we should start with. Probably why it felt like such an extra big deal when I moved out. There are few reasons, so I think he has made it very clear. It was not his decision and so I'll just say. I said that I wanted a divorce in May,

and I said that I wanted a divorce. After probably five years of us talking about it and trying and struggling and working and then having like beautiful joyful seasons and like great things and exciting things, and then all the problems that were there just still there and I think you know really interest. The thing that came out of having a public relationship and then a public divorce was I got a lot of really pretty hateful backlash from people. I still try and not have anger about the fact that he didn't get any backlash, but that I did mostly from women, infected that any men cared but am do so large. Tension of women who, I said that I was bad.

and wrong and evil and how dare I do this thing and war I find so crazy, crazy, crazy about that situation. Is that nobody publicly knows what happens but me and my ex husband. Nobody and I made a very conscious decision to not talk about it. In fact, if you looked at social media at any time. over the last year, one of us have talked a lot and it's not me, and I made that choice, because I wanted to be respectful of my children because as much as my kids are on social their friends are- and I also think social media will last forever, and so you could open up. I don't know something ten years now and find what one parent said about the other. So I made a very conscious decision to not tell

story, and- and I won't because it feels like the respectful thing to do And so I will keep that to myself, but I think mean knowing what really happens and then me, being publicly shamed for making that choice it feels so hurtful and year ago I was. I was deep in it because I honestly never thought I could cease absolutely that our fan base might be disappointed like I was disappointed, would blaze Shelton Miranda Lambert got divorced. I M still upset about that, so I told we get being disappointed, but I never expected Other women, too,

without any information. Take sides and say hurtful things, and so I was grappling with all of these painful things: of that are involved in an ending a relationship that has been going on for at that point and been eighteen years and China. in to navigate the puzzle and it was so painful. so hard, and It was in the midst of inner covered with stall at its peak. It was going nuts we were still you know, and- down on and off, and it just was such a wild time. and I remember trying to find a place Eleven just like gonna be super honest about what this process felt like. Maybe of you are going to break up- are going through a divorce. I don't owe me this will be helpful, but

I remember that I needed to find a place to live and it was it felt so impossible inside of covered and I just so desperately wanted to find a place. That was good for my car then could be a home and could be something that they felt comfortable, and I was so. so much anxious says an insomnia of just like not being able to find a place, because you know told him the decision that I had made in May and I didn't move until July. That's how long it took, and I dont know if you ve ever had to live, in a house or a place with someone who broke up with an oath. was an awful so awful for us, both

not because we were fighting, and I think like when people when there was backlash from the public or people are friends or family that we never saw you fight, because that does not our style. We weren't fighters We were the kind of people who talk through everything and we still do by the way to this day, but just because you don't fight, doesn't mean, there's not a lot of pain there in a lot of resentment, and it was, so it felt like I am I don't want to be overly dramatic put. It fell, Ike torture, I mean just every day in that space and both of us so much changes having to see each other all the time and oh, my gosh, who so hard and the decision to move on, of the house, was in mine. I mean Ultimately, it was mine, but essentially it was because

I was the one who made the decision. Then he fell. I was the one who should have to leave and honestly that, like I'm, just gonna preface and They look I'm telling all like a very true and personal story. There. This is not anything about him like. it, doesn't matter how great people are as you beings, if you go through to force its gonna, be painful and it's gonna be hard and they're very parts of it that are ugly, and I'm telling you a very honest recounting, but it's nothing negative about him and I think people this wrong so often that I will tell a story about Dave and there, like Oh now you're like talking crap about data like no I'm, not telling you my truth, and he has his own truth. That honestly he's gone into quite a lot of detail about. So this

that anything negative about Hamish is how it worked out. How worked out was that I had to move out of the home I had made, and I first felt so defeated by that. I don't know if any of you have experience something similar but I felt so defeated, like I just kept thinking he's not a pillow in this house that I didn't choose, there's not a painting on the wall that I didn't get it a flea market. You know in allay ten years ago, there's there's enough here that I didn't like put and make. As part of our home and so there. idea of leaving it fell just absolutely insane to me the Ruby slippers there's some of the most iconic objects in Hollywood history, a rare collectors item worth millions and in the summer two thousand five apparel

stolen from the Judy Garland Museum in a small town of Grand Rapids Minnesota, you gotta be kidding me all she said was they're gone, they were gone forever thirteen years until one day they seriously reappeared. Finally, tonight it wasn't the wizard, but an FBI sting turned up, perhaps most famous slippers and movie history, and it might sound like that's where the story ends, but actually it was. we the beginning. This is a story that doesn't pay the black welcome, welcomed no place like home, a documentary presentation of sea thirteen originals occasions. Thirty in studio Although the shoes were eventually recovered, their more questions left than answers, not just about the room, slippers, but about Judy Garland herself Please listen and follow no place like home available now, wherever you get your pod casts. well say in retrospect. I am so grateful that it were

TAT the way that it dead, because I've provocateur get so much. for this and he would laugh at me, but, like I do I know that he would have been oh yeah, he would have been able. But, like I don't know what a job. You would have done it like trying to let go make a home, especially during covered not to say a man can't decorate can make homes they do all the time. But honestly, I can't we laughed about it later, like. Oh, my gosh, you what you do know whereby a sofa like it would have been hilarious should actually for what it's worth. If you are going through something like this, maybe that's away to refrain that had a girlfriend who went to divorce about six months after I did and she's, sad about moving out and I was a gap, but you can make a whole new for home, for your babies and he might go and just make a bachelor pad ray, and my parents were divorced. That's what my dad

my friends, parent same thing. That's where her dad issues like oh you're, right, yeah least this way. I can make something that I know the kids I feel really comfortable, and so it was hard and its but it was it was you know, divorces, painful. Moving into this place, I felt like I was guided by my god by angels by my garden. angels because when I started looking, I was so oh, my gosh, I was so nervous. I could not forgotten as gonna go. Do this thing by myself and I had to find a place that my kids would lie, can to be honest eyes, really scared to live by myself when the kids or with their dad Had all of these fears and when started. Looking I was like. Oh my gosh. I don't know what I'm gonna do and then randomly except, I don't believe in random. I happen to like find this

little house in a search for something and is the pictures were very good enough. kind of like what is theirs and I just send it to friend like hey, do you think we can get it? We train go look at this one, and so we looked. I took acts with me, which I highly recommend. If you have kids, that was a big and important thing was him being able to fill. He was part of the process, the other kids there, the boys in a word Luxor like whatever, but Jack's really cared, and I took him. Why may so he had an opinion in every Jackson's, my eldest, so he had an opinion in everything and we walked into all sorts of places and I just honestly it just like each one was sort of mourning urging than the rest, and Lord I'm an end up having to get a bachelor, Pat like my dad, even so what I want to do, and then we came to this place

and I remember walking through the house and their wise alone, garden on this, I'd yard, and that just may my heart swell and I walked out the back patio, and I just like this clarity, in my mind of ice sit on this back patio and I'm going to heal and it was and still is it the most, ideal house, like it's pretty small for me and for kids, know wise bedroom. It was like an office. There was converted, but, like I made a cue, don't worry the boy have to share room like it's, not why they have dad's there is in a pool theirs and trampling there is go. Cars is like all it doesn't have all the bells and whistles, but it is this sacred ground,

for me, and it really is that moment of clarity of like what are you need like? What's the intention? What do you need out of this and what I needed was so de what I needed was a feeling of security and I needed a place to heal and that is a really important thing to ask? I think in a process like this I know that even me having the ability to go get another place was a huge deal, because I walk through this of my girlfriend, where You know she was a homemaker, she was a sterile mom and wise and so is dependent on her soon to be ex husband. it is so scary for women who don't have one and for security or their financial security is wrapped up in some one else, Emmy I can

I tell you how many times I have counselled women in my community who have partner whose abusive or who have a partner who cheats on them or who have a partner who- and have stayed. far longer than they should because data have another option. so even having the ability to go somewhere else was massive and I don't take that for granted for a second I, when I moved out, which was a year ago today, eggs- I I you know, Sir the paper whenever got too to move into this place I moved out of the other house. I took my clothes, and some family heirlooms. It was a loaded on my car. I think I did too, or maybe three carloads and I took nothing else.

And I made that decision, because I remember when my parents would split up and they split up and go back to gather a lot. But I remember when one of would move out that they would like take the so far like take the. She's off the walls are just it was always has as far as little kid sort of sea or house get pulled apart, and so I am the conscious decision to only take things that really had very spot no value to me and that would disrupt the home for them and I think, like there's so part, mean that gets a little sad like just to be honest of This may be sounds but like the key, its rooms at the other house are so. Oh man Those are making emotional what of well there. firms are so beautifully decorated and I worked so hard to like figure out

themes. Unlike oh, you worked with like, most amazing decorator and like it was such a big deal. and I remember there is those rooms were done at the old house across so proud cause I never had anything like that like hand me down furniture and like just now, were- and I was so proud of how beautiful there rooms were and how they like spoke to their personalities, and it's still makes who really sad that they don't have that here, yeah yeah I don't have that area, and I say yes because I that some day they well, but you know, it was when we first moved here so hard to get anything. I don't know if any of y'all had to move in Covid or like get furniture or whatever it was so impossible I remember like I did not have furniture for months. Mundt M not exit from. I didn't ask for a roof over mad. Thank God

and I had mattresses on the four. Thank God, for that is the very Santa move. Here I slept on the floor had literally nothing. I remember free piece of furniture that would come in. I would literally like ball, like saw crying. when I got a so fine cried because I just was so grateful for every piece of furniture and I you can't understand it unless you lived through it, you just can't tend to not have things or honestly, you know they would come from this, like amazing house, at their due and then they come here and I like had nothing. A table set up right. We play board games and man did we play board games, but just made me sad and there are still parts of it. That makes me sad because you don't want to be like the place that is not fine, but I feel like in terms of stuff like having staff. My

I definitely isn't as far as the other house- they get to stay at the time, but it for sure is fine in terms of energy and joy and play and laughter and watching movies and hang out. Each other in cooking and eating and like we have found a way. My being a well decorated, room, found a way and we have gotten so close. I think that some I could not possibly have fathoms before all of this, is how close I would become with my kids, I was so close them before and it is not even comparable to the release should that we have now we sort of we were in a bunker together, you know because of covert and then going through divorce and I just wanted to be present for them, and I want to make sure that their own okay and that has been beautiful eyes as much as cottage

solved. It sucks so hard to go through. All of those things come at the other side is like these. Ships I am. I dont know if I ever what had so there some goodness there I am so excited to announce that for the first time in over eighteen months, rise women's conference is in person. I M beside myself, you guys You have ever been to rise women's conference than you know how special it is an if you ve always wanted to go. This is the time Labour Day weekend. Austin Texas, my town, we're gonna dance, we're gonna lie, forgone unpack the hearts if, in our life, the good stuff in our life, we're gonna create roadmap, to where we want to go and hear from incorrect both speakers. It is three full days of programming. It is a committee

unity of women who are like minded they're, not alike, we're not the same. Women come from all over the place different religions, different political beliefs, different sexual, indications different ways to both. Eve and love and think and hope. But commonality in us all is that we want to become a better version of ourselves, you dont come to rise conference to become someone new. You come to rise conference to take ownership of. life and to remember all of the things that make you so great in the first place. So I hope that you will head to rise live weekend. Dot com check out the video check out the things that asked attendees have said, this is a life changing event and if you are feeling sluggish, if you're killing and motivated. If you feel like you need a kick in the bud or chance to Oh, hang out with a bunch of in red. For women, you need to call

to rise women's conference is the only conferences here all happening in person rise live weekend dot com. Labor, they weaken Austin Texas. Me. You a bunch of awesome, other he bore and a chance to be together in person for the first time. In a year and a half, I think the thing that. I I didn't anticipate, but I want to make sure and talk about in case. Any of you are in this is how time I spent alone I really process by myself. I do not like

Thus, in a grew I dont want to do with my friends. I don't want to talk it out. I really need to process and think and journal, and that is how I get through things and and I was alone. I was either with the kids kazoo they're here, half the weak, I was with the kids half the weak and then they would go home and I would work and then I would be alone- and I was by myself alone with my thoughts for months and months and months and months and months, and I think that it was the most important part of this process, and I have walked with a lot of friends through break up this year and of course, this year- and I have seen so many people immediately- mediately jump back interrelationship and everybody the process and deal, however they need to, but I I just can't think of something that would have been worse and an eye

get the. Why, like, if I started dating right away. If I started going out with my friends like drinking and living it up and doing whatever it, have an amazing distraction I would not have had to think about how sad I was. How angry I was how hard it was, how how confusing. It was too like go through a divorce, Some do with attorneys and figure out finance. goals and like it was so overwhelming to me, and I One million percent could have distracted myself in a bunch of different ways, and I just sat in it. now, if you read my last book, which is all all about going through. thing. I talk about sitting in it you I say you gotta, allow yourself to feel how painful these things feel did. I need to learn what am I still learning from this process and I went through every emotion. There was, and I just made myself like I told you sat on that

patio I mean hundreds of hours have been logged on my back patio, just thinking or crying or praying or journaling. or just trying to get myself to. You know raise above the pain and I was in that moment because I have to suck it out because the kids are on their where I've gotta go, make dinner. I've got do bedtime or whatever, and it just eyes fell At a time alone, as talking- Two. If you heard when I interviewed J shadow here on the podcast, has become a very sweet frantic, you just got to hang out with him and allay earlier this week, and you know him I talked about this idea of when you're alone there. Two ways that people describe that some people- all being alone, lonely and some people call it solid, dude and one of those is

empowering an end intentional, and one of those lonely fills immediately sad or wrong, and I actually there's something in red we valuable about being alone, with your thoughts to say it's easy all the time by it I I spent a lot of time by myself and let's see eleven or ten months before I started dating again just like alone, and the first, like I remember my girlfriend who was going to divorce. She was like how long until it doesn't feel like you one day like how long until it doesn't you don't wake up every day and remember and just want to crawl back in bed and I was like six months yeah say four months of really feel like you ve, no idea how you're going to survive

and two months where it still really bad, but you can manage a lot better. and then you start feel better and start to feel hopeful and to be What's with you, I started dating in March, but like never ever with intention of it being anything serious and they give You heard me talk about. There's there may be sought on rates on the Youtube Channel in. I told you the story about like I gonna dating out, but I got a dating up because I wanted like friends to go out with, not because I wanted to make out with somebody and p, as that was terrifying For me to figure out how to do it again, it just so happens or a guess again. I don't believe in coincidence here didn't just so happen, but I just the first reason that I became friends I ended up falling in love with, and I think that's because God it in her.

Then it wisdom was guiding this process and knew the kind of person that I needed. kiss for the first time when I didn't know what I was doing and I was freaking out, unlike at or to put my hands or will I just you know like it's crazy and am so grateful for the beauty the serendipity and how it all came to be. There is no way, no way that I would be healthy enough to be in this. Beautiful relationship if I had spent all those months by myself processing things so if you have to go through. Something hard like this. I hope you will allow yourself to to sit in it. as long as you need. I think You know it is sort of like the hot topic. I get the chilean dams about this and lots of comments and questions on you to Ben

Nobody wants information about dating what that's again. The boy friend and the whole thing- and I making a real. We conscious decisions can find to talk about it because I think number one. I think it's hilarious, because you would not even believe how king terrible. I am for all that I am confident and I think I like cool avenue of doing. I was such a freak in the I was so nervous, I've so anxious for I like- could speak same person same man same situation like it's. A shock is beyond belief that this human, but kept being like here, let's call another date, because I would just like. I would literally just like stare into his eyes and, like feel like, I was dying like. Why are you so beautiful, and then I would just it was ridiculous. It was just ridiculous. Just let's go with that

so it's a miracle that anybody wanted to keep talking of, even though so clearly not good at dating. But I'm being very conscious of this is something so precious and my last, relationship, I didn't know better, and so it was it was so president on social media, and it was something I talked about so much and I just something as precious as your love, I just I want to be very careful How and when that is out in the world, and it so funny to me when we're out restaurant or liquid, taking walk or getting coffee or whatever, and I see you know a listener: podcast, Garcia, a reader, a fan or whatever see us and realize like. Oh,

this. Is this? Is the guy EL it? So it just makes you really it was really laughed does I think people feel they have some sort of like insider thing of. of this person and I know there's like blogs about unlike random internet things about sue, I'm dating back. I just it's just the sweet, precious things, I'm just being really I'm keeping area close to my heart, some talking about dating what that looks like we're like talking about who Is there any that staff suggest? I know there are questions, but that's the why in case you're wondering The last thing that I'll say about what I have learned in this year that I feel like is so powerful and I think, a sort of something we ve all gone through, even if you are going to break up or moving into a new place, is I am really lie

being the reminder that you can. Redefine and re frame your life at any moment, twenty twenty we were forced to redefine and re frame our lives right, covert men that, whatever we thought was true. Was it an things we thought ever be taken away were, and I never thought I get used to wearing a mask. I never thought that I would be in locked down. I never thought that I wouldn't get to see my friends for months and months. I never thought that We live in fear like there's a million things that happen that I never thought could happen. Our whole world got shifted on its axis and what I am reminded of, is that in world, getting shifted on its axis. I made a decision that was the right decision for me, and I know that that is such a bold statement. It

freaking shouldn't be, but I made a decision that was the right and healthy choice for myself and my children it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of the choice that you make for yourself whether or not you have kids you are allowed to make change. You are allowed to ask for more. You are allowed demands that someone keep them. Word. You are allowed to speak your truth. who are allowed to have the same rights that your partner does. I think a lot of time- times. This is nothing. I love man, I'm raising three of them like this enough, and men of so many, my closest like guy friends like I love, love men, I'm not bashing men, but so often women are scorned for wanting literally just what is equal to what

their husband or their boyfriend gets from them on the regular. So you who are allowed to ask for whatever you need, and if you do, get it. You are allowed to have an issue with that and you know, maybe you do what I did then its years of conversations and trying and working in doing what you can and maybe you find a way, maybe you do fix the pieces that are broken. and it becomes something more beautiful and stronger and greater than it was before. That's amazing, so freaking amazing, but also, if it can't be. Sometimes it's not meant to keep going, Our thinking about this today, like I can't remove, I told ya, I told you that I got to meet Dave Girlfriend. Finally, and she said sweet, so kind like exactly. You know what I knew she would be and to see them

together in their so happy and they complement each other so well and I think of me and my boyfriend and how I never could have like written a coup, not have written a script of the kind of man that I would want and need cause. I literally didn't even know that this kind of human existed. I wouldn't even have known to ask for him, and but now now being with him and then Dave being Heidi, unlike oh yeah, clearly, if this who you move on to and we moved on people that were so different from each other, but so compliment HU we are its an example of the fact that it was. It had run its course and that Ok, not only is it ok, I think it's beautiful people, want to look at a divorce and see that be oh it

did after eighteen years and its failure? No, it's not a failure. I consider my marriage a massive success. A massive success we have four beautiful children were still and were still a family. We are making choices now that are better for us and if their better for us, that means are gonna, be better for the kids and so Hey there, a conservative people who don't believe in divorce and who great? Then you live that out in your life, but those people don't get to tell you or me. or Dave or anybody else how they get to show. Up in the world, or what's right for them or what's good for their family, and I just wondering I urge you man, if you're gonna, have to go through something like divorce will have to go through a break up. I freaking hole that you can come out of. The other side that with a clearer idea of who you are, if you're gonna have to, walk through Hell, hoagie, on the other side, forged the flames

oh yeah, I went through it and I didn't go through it for nothing I went through. so I can live and authentic life, as myself so soon patio now and I'm not sitting merit a heel, I'm sitting there celebrating this beautiful life that I get to live I'm still hard and is so complicated and it still messy there still for kids screaming, and it still navigating you know Ex husbands and new girlfriends and boyfriends and Thanksgiving and were altogether and was a slight or still so much messing us in this, but it's good. I'm tellin you guys. A year ago today I slept I'm SAM. I'm happiness for you in my bedroom and iron Amber so keeping on this for Sweden for an hour Had a pillow and two blankets- and I remember feelings,

so discouraged like what the hell am I gonna do and I remember crying that night and I also remember even the pain I remember this knowing or this voice deepens of me that just knew that this was I'm saying that in case there are those of you who are in something that is painful, and you just need to listen for that still small voice. That is speak to you and guiding you through the time that you are in their voices there and then tariff me a year ago- and it's here with me now and if you're in a really hard season by guy was a year ago today I want you to know it gets better. It gets better if you do the work and you honor yourself and your graceful- with your heart and you

strive to love yourself well and take care of yourself while it will get better, you are strong enough to keep going. I love you guys. I hope this was helpful I hope that if you are going through something similar that maybe it spoke to your heart, and if you know someone who's going through something similar, I hope your consider sending them this episode to listen to. If you liked it, It would be so wonderful if you would check and on social, take a screen shot of today's episode or share in your inspiring. stories tag me so I can see, it's your san interact with you and there Is a hotline for the pod cast? As always? If you have questions view on follow up, if you want more detail, I love doing q and a podcast episode, so the hotline is

The number is in the show notes. If you and check it out here, call in and leave me a voice mail, you can do it anonymously. If you want to- or you can tell me your name, maybe we could even have you on the show. We can talk about your question, but the hotlines in the show, notes and yeah I hope you have a blast wheat and that you are enjoying whatever part of the year. are you listening to this end and in turn I talk to you next time. I want you to know that I love you. Anna Maria, for you, the Rachel? his podcast is hosted by me, Rachel Hollis, our show is produced by Chelsea Har fish and edited by Andrew Weller, with additional reduction support by sterling coats. Our executive producer is Cameron Bergmann. The Rachel Hollis podcast is three percent chance. Production.