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203: What You MUST do in the Next 12 Months

2021-08-03

I've been working on this episode for a few days now. This one feels super important; I want to talk about the place I'm finding myself in and the place many of my friends find themselves in also. The world keeps shifting and changing and this constant turbulence is causing PTSD, regardless of what stage we're at in life. I don't just want to talk about the problem - y'all know my heart - I also want to talk about some of the things that are helping me through this time, and I hope they help you too.

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
The past year has roots so wild right like hard and good and a lot of chaos. And if you're like me the morning routine, that you have for your day is everything. It's how we figure out what comes next, it's how we put disgrace
to dance in ourselves, and it is how we lay out our priorities and figure out where we're going. If you haven't yet built a morning routine, I want to make sure you know about the start today: brand. It is a collection of gorgeous journals and planners that help center. You help you practice gratitude, help you set goals and stay focused in the midst of chaos and in the case of the planner it helps you break apart those big gigantic dreams into achievable bite size pieces. You can find out more at start today.
How come I have been working on this pod cast for a few days ago, spent more time on this topic. Then I have been a typically do, usually when I record so episodes for you guys. I just have something on my heart: there's something I'm thinking through in a kind of work through some ideas share some stories in that ends up being the content, but this one feels really important because it feels like The place that I find myself in the place that a lot of my friends find themselves in and that is going in. To the rest of this year and what it means, what it means for us as people that the world keep shifting what it means for us that we kind of are struggling to get solid footing what it means that We sort of thought that by now it would have gone back to some kind of normal.
but there is no normal to go back to and frankly it never it doesnt stick like life, keep shifting and changing, and if you are an entrepreneur nor or a parent or a college student like, depending on what your daily life looks like that, ever shifting ever changing. But if turbulent ground is causing PTSD hi, I'm Rachel Hollis and this is my podcast I spent so many hours of every single week, reading and listened podcast and watching Youtube videos and trying to find out as much as I can about the world around me and that's what we do on this show. We talk about everything life and how to be an entrepreneur. What happened dinosaurs? What's the best recipe for fried chicken? What's the best plan, four intermittent fasting. What's going on with our inner child house therapy working out for
Whatever it is, my guests are into. I want to unpack it so that we can all understand these Our conversations this is information for the curious. This is the Rachel Hollis. I guess it is- and I didn't have the words for that until recently, and I can now look back and see how this is. affecting me and how its affecting you answer today. I want to talk about what's going on with us emotionally and psychologically coming through. Ovid and then also still being inside, of it as well as what we're going do about it and why I, the next twelve months, are the most important I'm
can I say of my life, I dont want to speak for you in a sort of want to speak for you and say that the next twelve months are also the most important of your life, but I can see so clearly how the last eighteen months, have complete. We owe road in a lot of the things that I worked so hard to get, and I'm not talking about physical things or ten Well things I'm talking about the erosion of great habits Vieira version of processes systems and my life would have helped me to thrive and really didn't understand how much things had shifted until recently. So that's what I want to dig into two. I won't talk about. What's going on with all of us and when I say us, I mean in my community my friend circle my sisters, you know what I'm seeing here at the office and what I asked
whom is also happening for you and in your community as well, and I know that if you Turning an typically, this community are people who want to make impact. You want to make change. You know you're working with your church, working your volunteering, your showing up at your kids school year, using babies, you're trying to be a good leader, a good friend, a good sister, a good husband, a good, whatever you're, trying to have great impact in great legacy and the last eat, months for so many of us, have felt like just constant opposition to that end. That does have emotional effects. So I'm an talk about that today and then also some food
things you know me like. I don't just one talk about the problem. I also want to tell you some things that have helped me and, as always, maybe I'll talk about the things that help me and the hope you too, but even if they don't help. You too, I always think that hearing about how some else is taking on a problem or finding a solution can at least spark. Creative problem. Solving in us to help us figure out what will work for us so that the intention of today's podcast and let's go ahead and dig in maybe your if you consume my youtube and you also listen to the podcast, then there to sort of things that happened in those platform that you might be familiar with and if not gonna catch you up on a recent episode owed of my Youtube show rates. Talk. I told the story of getting a brain scan. I had always wanted to do this and I was really
added to finally me with this doctor and he's a psychiatrist adopt an author. I admire him a time I followed him for years and I had always wanted to have him look at my brain I'm a nerd Uno. I am, but I just had always wanted to have it done. Then his name's doctor men and I had gone to get away scan, and then I also interview Doktor Ayman on podcast and in the process of having my brain scanned, which, by the way I get my resulting meaning the doktor Ayman on Friday of this week. So I get my results and I'm super excited to learn all the things, but I swear to goodness even the process of going through the process ass of having to fill out twenty pages of paperwork on my medical history.
Unlike my family's medical history and how that shows up in what affects me and you have to do in take interviews with a psychologist, and just all of this have just- That process has already been so helpful for me and I, when I interviewed doktor amen, I was too bring him the story. Of how my friend J and I were were saying man. It really feels like our focus is off and a man. If this is you like, I know I can't hear you but, like I'm a preachers daughter, like say, Gimme a man if you feel like you, have lost ability to focus on projects or you get easily distracted or you're having racing thoughts or your your mind is sort of leapfrogging. Like I got a text. Romano girlfriend stand, she said I feel like my brain is like a monkey,
swinging from branch to branch like I can't calm it down. If that feels like you, that also feels like me, and so I was talking to Dr Amy, and I was like I just feel like my focus is off. You know, and I'm sort of thinking. To be totally honest with you, I was feeling ashamed of that. You know, I'm I'm really dedicated Emma hard worker and I'm great added achieving go and my doing the work putty, my head down like I'll, run a marathon all right, a book like I'm on it Three like all achieve the task, and I really struggled to say focused and in the podcast doc. Raymond was like yeah glow, Bali. Globally we have PTSD the effects of covert and twenty twenty and how that hit each of us.
in different ways: we're not going to be able to quantify how that will affect us for decades. But it doesn't matter the report that someone's gonna run on that you know over the next ten years it matters it's happening in your life right now, like every thing for me, and I know for a lot of other entrepreneurs was about survival like twenty twenty was survival and how do I make sure that this team can keep getting pay? and how can we pivot and then we got a pivot again. We got a pivot again, and there was so much in that, and then I went through a divorce I was trying to navigate my children through that, and you know, make them feel safe and make themselves feel seen and heard, and just it's so much to carry, and I was talking to the psychologists you know in this entire process,
and I was just she's like you know. Why do you want to do this now, Michael? I just feel like my anxiety is back and I'm you know back to making poor choices, drinking more than I was at the beginning of covert I'm eating more than I was at the beginning of covert, and I almost feel like. None of this is your, but I almost feel like the first, nine months of covert em. Down I knew how precarious everything was. I knew my family was on shaky ground and hurting. I knew my business was in a desperate situation. We were able to do any of the conferences that we had planned, then you know massive financial liabilities and I just every single day, for nine months. I woke up and just thought its do or die
it's fine away? I mean, and if you were listening podcast back then, if you are with us, when we did our first virtual conference with rise courage, You know we were in it and we were creating content to speak to that So many of you are feeling the same way, but I'm a like I'm high capacity, meaning like you can do a lot of stuff out and I'll figure it out Twice- was a really good wedding planner, because, no matter what was going on in the world, I would just find a way through I'll just work hard. I'll. Do more I'll get up earlier I'll stay up late, like AL of the things I have achieved our because of that. The problem is that that takes an extreme emotional and physical
toll on me, as a human and on you, like, if you're in the same boat, there's an extreme emotional toll that is happening because of that drive and that a high level and that hustle that were required for most of us and maybe still required to perform the way that we need to and for me. I also have a really hard time being conscious of the stress, because I'm in this sort of fight or flight mode and I'm I'd never flight it's always fight, so I'm just like go and away like push harder, do it and I don't you and I'm not even conscious of the stress now at the beginning of,
hope it. I knew that we were in this crazy stressful time, and so I like cripple down on all of them habits that I knew we're gonna keep me going, my body every day, fair, a p gratitude, work, meditation prayer, I'd just was so intentional about those things, because I knew that I needed to have them there, but there was something I don't know if your fellow, this I'm just gonna speak my heart and in talking with a lot of my friends, they sort of have had the same feeling, maybe at different times in the last eighteen months, but like David all we ve all like had this moment at some point: does it just never stopped being hard? Eighteen months had just hasn't, stopped being hard
I dont say that lightly. I know I know that there are those of you who are listening to this, who have had a harder experience and I have had- and this is not a competition but never one time. Never. Once in eighteen months have I felt like the business. was safe and if you're an entrepreneur, you understand what that means like. We will launch some thing and war see great revenue come in and then my business is such that we exist and launch models so will launch a book. Will launch of conference will launch something and then that's great. Unless you understand cash flow
were in a business caches queen, so it doesn't matter how much revenue your projecting matters, how much cash you have in the bank and cash has been just feast or famine for eighteen months and that's incredibly stressful, because that's people's jobs and personal things, and it just feels, Like I'm not saying this complaint, I am not saying this to wine. I am saying this because I feel like when I with my friends, I just have lunch with a girlfriend and we were talking about we are seeing on, and while we are talking about this- and she was like- oh god, ok me too, and I always just it's. You know she s Louis said the most powerful words in the english language. Are me too, when some one else it is like a farming that they also felt that way. I was like ok great. I gotta talk about that when I do the podcast later
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of it and you can't, unlike she sick, taking time off work in its like just it feels like it hasn't seen, after being hard like they'll, be a day or a week where it will start to feel like ok, we're gaining on this were, were we're doing and It'll be like you know me, my has covered and, of course that's what it feels like now. It feels like, of course, that's what it is. Of course my friend is struggling. Of course. This thing has happened of course, and I this is the definition of post traumatic, stress, disorder, PTSD, which I have had since I was fourteen years old and it manifests for people in different ways and obviously there is true.
That you can go through that is so much more horrific. But for all of this, what I want you to hear me say right now is that PTSD feels like there's, always a level, hopefully low, but sometimes very high, there's always alone of anxiety that part of our brain, the lizard part our brain, that only has one job, which is to keep us alive. One job keep keep us alive there. Three parts, brain is a lizard brain as the mammal brain there's, a human like look it up the most like base part of us has one job which is stay alive and if you have felt threatened
threatened, financially or emotionally, which we all have as a global community of people, there has been fear. Anxiousness people have died, people are sick, we ve lost businesses, we ve lost jobs like relationship, so much has happened. What that does is it puts the list Part of your brain that the stay alive part now, that's leading out. That's constantly looking for danger constantly now, when we Were you know, cave men that part of your brain kept you alive was constantly looking for the Sabre Tooth Tiger that was gonna eat you. What that looks like today is that you are in Tis a painting, though bad stuff, your anticipating the world falling out from anew urine tis a painting, the work
first and if you learned about manifestation or what we put out into the world or any of that? What you will look for. You will find and, like I am preaching to myself right now, I freaking do this for a living, Zol. I've done for a decade is try and learn and sort of like ok. How can I do this better and then end of sharing it with you guys like hey this, what I learned and what it but and I am having to re- learn this stuff because I feel like it has been a row. Did I've sort of its like all of the stress of the last eighteen months has scratched away and sort of the old away. All of the walls that I built up to hold boundaries and to keep my
self centred and calm and, like all those habits, all those rituals they're not gone, but their shaky they're not gone, but their solid. It's, like you know, were a castle Like I don't know, maybe evil time period, and this for worse, this invading army this whatever has like rolled up to the castle with like those maybe you can see we have your visitors. I've tried to like what is it like a cat appall like each other, where they would like Super Roxanne stakes? Are they do everything to try to break down the walls of the castle. That's what I feel like great now, I'm still standing and I'm so proud of the fact that I'm still standing you're still standing your here, your listening
as you are still going, but it's just shaky. It's now is solid as it once was, and in a state of high anxiety, heightened fear, I am anticipating, things going wrong and Maybe they will that's freakin life, maybe, things will continue to go wrong, but I promise you that it is not serving me. It is not serving my team at work. It is not taken care of my children is not. Helping me have impact, create content, be creative, it doesnt serve me in any way, because, honestly, if bad shit happens all deal with it,. If bad should happens, you'll deal with it and doesn't mean it won't be hard, but his way harder to experience like a month,
of worrying over something and then the thing happens that you lost that whole month fact. If you really think about it right now, if you ask yourself how much anxiety have you had compared to the actual manner A station of the thing you were anxious about it's not even close, meaning most of the time were worried about stuff. It doesn't even happen the things that really throw us off for the things that we never anticipated. So how this affects us is one is like heightened. Anxiousness, which is no way to live, because what happens? What happened for me, what have ever my girlfriend today is that we hit that
point in time where we realise that it was still hard that nine months have gone by ten months, eleven months what it and it's still a mass. It's still pivot. You know pivot again and figure it out and work harder and do more, and you know all of this stuff, and at some point I I felt so tired. I felt so burn out. I just stop doing that triple down on making sure that I was emotionally processing. The stress thought I want. because what I did was. I went back to my regular habits. That's what it is like making this connection in my mind right now, the world sort of
an open back up and we got to go to restaurants. And we got to try. will again either. This is after the first of the year and I started to feel like it was sort of normal, and so I went back to my normal habits, my normal routine, my normal ritual thinking that we were sort of normalizing but I immediately started to feel the effects, because the stress level didn't change, I'm just having this clarity with you right now in real time. I didn't stop doing the things, but I stopped being so conscious and so intentional about like making sure that I was really living that and then obviously now my stress feels like it stronger like it's more and is some of the stuff I talked about the psychologist I felt like I couldn't focus. I felt real.
Easily distracted. Obviously my anxiety was coming back in a greater way, I really felt like not debate Ed? I read I felt like I lost momentum. I really started to feel these things and then how I process this is usually being really mad at myself back We get here. How? Why are we like? Why come on? Try harder work harder. I know its not healthy, I'm in any around three like I get it, but I just fell all this stuff slipping and then I started slipping back into bad coping mechanisms. Only. I couldn't see them as bad So the world I'm using air, quotes guys the world open back up it didn't you know it hasn't like really, but in a lot of ways. We got to do things we were able to do and
because we have been able to go anywhere. Like my girlfriends and I were like, let's go to dinner, let's go get drinks, let's go you know: do they things, and so I started drinking more and then I started eating off. color, would normally ie and our freedom, living it out, because I was like I haven't, been able to go anywhere so long and that ended up becoming sort of this. This like springboard for now that's not just happening outside my house now, I'm kind of like pulling it into a week knights and I started drinking more, and I really didn't see that stuff until I was going through this point. Says- and I was like oh wow, like I pray, cove it. I would have like me maybe one or two drinks a week. Like all you know, my my drink of choice is a vodka Lacroix. I'm a pretty big lightweight, but I would like
have one- and maybe I finish it- maybe I didn't but like that was it and then now was at the place absolutely and locked out, I had a cocktail- every frickin, nay and then I'm like, ok nominal, have caught on a half, and now I'm having too, and I have struggled with that. the past. If you read grow wash your face. You know that was an issue for me as a young, mother, and so then I like find myself doing it again and then the shame spiral starts again like how did we get back here? Why it's I get get off this. Training like what are you doing, but I just fell like. Here is an old saying that, like humans only make decisions too, get pleasure or avoid pain, that's it it just comes down. Every single decision you make is for pleasure or to avoid paying and in fact
You will always choose to avoid paying more than you'll choose pleasure, like avoiding pain, is actually a stronger catalysts for us, to make change in our life. But if you can find something that manages to do both. You know if you ve had a hard stressful, crazy day. and you can have a vodka Lacroix which will help you to avoid paying so your gun like Numb out a little bit full Little s, dress and you're gonna have some pleasure SAM hastily beauty both of those at one time hot. Damn, it's really easy for that to be calm
a habit in your life really fast because it serving both of those needs at once, so those patterns which started to show up for me inside of this anxiousness. This stress all of these feelings, then, like imagine this like a flow chart and unlike his hook, but take you guys, doubtless thing with me, so we all experiences Insane Strasse, we start having symptoms of the stress affected. Ass long term. We start many of us to fall into old, bad habits and or develop new bad habits, and that starts to reignite old, limiting beliefs.
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Zoom few are hanging out with me that you're all up in personal development world, but others walk you through if you're not familiar, A belief whether that's political all religious self with the world is, though, earth flat like a book leaf. Is you having certainty that something is true? That's a belief your certainty on a topic, is your belief and that that for you in a million different ways, you you know me Be capital. T truth to you is Jesus is the son of That is your belief. Maybe you believe in Buddha, Allah, Confucius, the Torah what you know that you are die hard, democratic
your die hard Republican. That's your belief is certainty in what you believe in These can be really dangerous and really harmful to us as human beings. When we, care more about the certainty than the truth. We always how many for that when we care more about being right in our beliefs, then we care about what is actually true and real. So a belief is your certainty in this thing that you think o limiting belief. is something that you believe about yourself that actually makes it so that you can't achieve the thing you want or achieve that it slows you down. It hampers you, it makes it harder anything that's a limiting your growth as a person, your ability to do good. things in the world,
the limiting belief- and I feel like this- is the term impress on development that most people roll their eyes about Kalulu, limiting beliefs, like you do, Y, like whatever like they just, are super judgy about that word, cuz it like. Well. Maybe it's really true that, like you shouldn't start a business or maybe it's really true. It's no brow like if you have a dream in your heart and you feel really passion. Out that idea. A limiting belief is often like I'm not smart enough, I'm not connected and I'm not thin enough young ass old enough to pursue my dream, will that limiting you Does it serve you to believe that, and there are people who will say no says, that's the truth. She is too young to do that thing. He isn't. Smart enough to have that dream to have that goal, but if it's not
having you that belief system, why cling to it? Because there are thousands and thousands of people who are living in opposition of the thing that you believe that there. You know like. Oh, I come from this we're hood and from this neighborhood, like nobody, six up, nobody, I there are people who can represent both sides of that truth. There are you every day of the week you can find some whose story confirms what you believe or is an opposition of what you believe. So if it's a lie, bidding believe it means limiting your potential. Power in understanding what the other side of it is. But when we experiences anxious times when we experienced this stress,
It reignite old, limiting beliefs because their shame that happens in an old bad habits, and it brings back up stuff- and I am saying this to you, because as I'm going through it, I'm not even conscious of it happening, and this is what I do for a living. And so if I'm not conscious that all is crap is bubbling up for me. What are you not conscious of right now What are you feeling like you'd. Have the motivation that you want or you're not taking care of yourself. Health, wise or your business has dropped out or you know, you're not doing the sales that you wanted to do this month, like these things are going lower and lower and you're telling yourself that it's happening, because of those old limiting beliefs? Yeah? I know I wasn't smart enough, yet I knew it. Don't know numbers yap. I knew it
I can be a good mom and run a company at the same time we buy, into the bull shit, and it keeps us where we aren't keeps us stock. Its also somehow discouraged Jane for those of you who are working so hard, to try and like figure it out and make way for your family and you have people counting on you. Even when your keeping head above water. It still feels like your drowning, for a lot of us, we ve kept our heads above water for eighteen months or two years three years and were really rican good at keeping our, above water, but were exhausted. That's where I think we're out right now, and I think that everything that just
happen, really shine a light on fishers and cracks, there were already there. My stress didn't start in covered. My stress started honestly, in twenty eighteen and twenty eighteen Andrews like me, work in my going about, and I have a book explode and the world explodes around me, and it was so. It was such a blessing and it was so freakin overwhelm and I was on the road for over a year, and it was There- is no operation. For that I am not complaining I'm telling you my story, and I am telling you my store because No, you have your version of this
you have your version of extreme stress that started before covered that started before lockdown and the extremes to has was like gasoline and cover just lit a match, and maybe you can herself going telling yourself some day when the world goes back tonight. Sunday, when we have a vaccine, I felt like that oh well, when we have a vaccine, it'll be ok, I will bout, my grandparents for over a year over here, so stress about me, mom Papa. They got covert after we had vaccines like what the hell at some day when the world goes back to normal, day when we're able have conferences in person again some day, we
this when that win its summer time when it's back to school, like it, the idea of like it'll be better? When is free dangerous thinking, dangerous you guys. It really is because we cling to some food future possible ideal state that will never come and normally if this was like pre covered, My response right now will be like you have but you have to find a way today, like you, can't wait till tomorrow with you
You know you gotta be able to make this change in this moment. Nothin like that is what I would have preached to you pre covered, but I'm not preaching that after eighteen months of feeling like we're all drowning because that's going to serve any of us, all, that's going to do to me is make me feel shame and from a place of shame. We can't do any in concrete, I'm not gonna talk to you about like finding the will you know or finding the motivation, I'm not going to talk to you about that. I think it's more powerful for you to understand, and I hope that this is what this time this conversation is giving. You is just one.
Election of are you doing any of these things? Are you having any of these patterns because the stress led to all bad habits led to old, limiting beliefs which leads to cognitive dissonance right now? Maybe you ve heard this time before. Maybe this is a new one for you, I guarantee you know. Maybe the idea of this, if you haven't ever heard that actual psychological term for it, but cognitive dissonance, is basically the idea that human beings are incapable. Of easily acting in a way that is an opposition with their belief system. So we talked about this idea that your believe is certainty in these thoughts that you have
and it's really dangerous when it comes to our belief and self, are limiting beliefs or who we perceive ourselves to be we will not act in opposition of who we believe ourselves to be it as a subconscious thing. It is why we self sabotage if youve experience selves, the TAJ, financially with your health, with your relationships, if you ve ever looked back and then like oh, my gosh, that relations was going so well? Why do I always like? Why does is always happened? What is always turn bad or like men. I really was like doing what financially or certainly make money, I was certain to pay out my bill them like everything, went wrong you will always act with who you perceive and believe yourself to be cognitive dissonance. I think our vote on the definition. Yes, cognitive dissonance is Bali, leaves clashing with new actions or new information? So if you
who believe yourself to be a oh, I think that I still like all of this stuff, unlike oh, I still on some level, have some belief system about when I am stressed. Then I will comfort myself with food. I mean you have heard me talk about this so much binge, in the past in an being triggered in all of it, and I have worked oh my word for fifteen years to get past it and that shit started creeping back in bending started creeping back in all of these things, which makes me, unlike, oh that's still air like it was top down deep inside, but with your rose of like I said, these walls, these sort of shaky castle walls a started, a bubble, backup cotton
dissonance. Is you having this idea for a business that you want to start, but you can't get yourself to do it because do down, you believe you're, not smart, or that no it'll always fail or it'll always go wrong. Here's a really quick, idea and this isn't even do in journaling, but one of the ways I liked it, like what do I really believe about something is to ask myself like let's say: health health is a great example, so, let's hey, you're, journaling and your like. If I was living in optimum health, if I was taking care of my health, Emotionally physically nutritionally, if I was a living, my life where I wanted to he'll really great. I want to have energy it wasn't about how it looked whose about how I felt- and I really took care of myself if you were to journal like if I was living
extraordinary, healthy life. Then this is what my life like like one who I believe it would be like if I was having this really healthy life right. What I believe health is like great health is filling the blank right and people? You know you can write down all sorts of positive things like you know, energy folk is dry, I've happiness joy time with my kids, all those things that we believe we would experience if we were at our optimum health. That's what we think that suitable surface level. That's what we believe about that topic. But then, if I ask myself, ok growing up what did you? What were you talk to believe about how What in Mamma tell you what a daddy tell you? What you hear from your answer? Your uncle's in the family around you. What did media tell you few journal the same thing now, maybe your different than me
but I have in my head what my life would be like for. I was living in the most optimum, beautiful health ever but journal, what I was taught about health growing up its abysmal, its abysmal, and so, if. not conscious of those things that are below the surface, if I'm not conscious of what is shaping paradigm in the way that I see the world, then I'm always gonna, be an opposition with the action that I'm taking right. So like I'll go. I can go work out in the gym, but if I believe that my family just isn't healthy, we're just not athletes we just don't have, the stamina, we're just not runners, like all of these things, that we you, my friends like, grow up hearing that sticks and you will sell sabotage all of these things is flowcharts that I'm sort of just coming for you all. That is like some
sabotaging too like why you are making the choice is why I'm making the choices that were making so the reason that I'm saying that the next year, the next twelve months matters most matters most of your life is you are not still listening to this podcast or watching this on you too. If there isn't something in your got telling you a gal. I have progress, yeah, I'm where I wanted to be yeah. It's not going I can't I don't know what to do about it like it. There's most, because it's not gonna start being hard. summer. Me looks like getting outside travelling and, if you're like me off Birds has something that might help with that. The tree runner will help you tread lighter wherever this spring takes you the tree
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Gonna Miro. Am I r o dot com slush flow and using Miro today, there's no: Sentara, Leigh, it's not it's not going to stop being hard. This virus is not done, it hasn't run its course. The effects on our economy are still being covered up by not covered up like in a conspiracy, but are papered over by the fact that we ve had government assistance. So there's a lot of cracks in that that we're not gonna see come to fruition. Yet there is a fall out from how many people are out of work. How many businesses have been lost, how hard it is to find workers rights now like there are hardships that haven't even started to show life's gonna continue to be hard because life was always hard right. It was beautiful, was good. It was special. It was interesting
It was hard for each and every single one of us, but the hardship feels like a hundred pounds on our chance like a hundred pounds on our back like this thing that There's no way we're gonna get out of which isn't true, but that's what it feels like because of what work. When off of so, if we don't find a way to make change, if we don't find a way to break this cycle. We don't find a way to move forward. We're going to be caught in this endless cycle full of anxiety and fear and low your brain and there's always a problem and there's an you, have people counting on you. You have children, you have a business to run, you have
ass to teach you have a church community to serve. You have impact to make in the world, and Struggling to find momentum again, you're struggling to find motivation, your want like, where did that? Where did diversion of me go that version of you has the shifting change and the beauty is you're going to be stronger on the other side of this. But not if you stay stuck every second that you say stuck in this spot. Feeling this way drowning in these worries and missing, eighty, and this fear is making you weaker. It is why did the next? months matter, because that's what it's going to take to turn things around it's going to take time. It's going to take dedication and folk. and it matters so much because the next twelve months set up the next ten years and not everybody is ready.
And not, everybody wants to make change and everybody. Is that kind of person not every like so many people super down for whatever it is, and you do you live you're freaking life, the way you want to live it, but if you are listening this and you know that you are called to do more. If you know that You're not be saving and going through life and being intentional being centred and showing up for the people. You love in the way that you want to. Then we mean to shake it up. We need to do something and we need to get focused. So there's a few things you know. I gotta give you a list, there's a few things that I think will help, and then I want you to consider. Ok, the first thing that you need is a catalyst. The first thing
what you need is a catalyst you need in a if you're writing a script. You need and inciting incident, you need something that happens. That turns your world upside down. That shakes you off your access that shakes the dust up that makes you pay attention, may be the catalyst as this conversation right now. Maybe the catalysis a book that you read the catalyst could be conference right like I am a huge believer in the power of a conference, and I have a conference. You don't have to go to mine. There are so many great France that can speak to the specific business, your end to being an entrepreneur to like exactly what it is that you want to learn about. I, the greatest catalyst of my life ever was a personal development comfort and it's why I throw one every year, the next conference we have is
Women only cause there's an experience that happens when you are just in a group of women. I love man. I love my boys, but we want to create a community of people who are like minded instead of understand the social impact of being a worm. Woman and It means to have a family and what it means to try and take care of all the things. That is something that exists with rice conference. It out think how elsewhere, but it is a catalyst. It's three full days of unpacking. right day, one is all about your past, unpacking literally water, the beliefs that you have won, the limiting beliefs, what're pass trauma and expense, and that have made you get to that place in the way that you view the world. What's the paradigm meaning what sort of the filter through which you see all of these
things, because if we can understand why we can start to shift that paradigm and we can change the way you see yourself so that car native dissonance doesn't show up and continue to make you play less than full out that's day. One day too, is all about your present. How do you take care of yourself in this day? How do you focus on your health so that you have energy so that you feel joy, so that you're alive and ready to serve they three is all about your future. What are the goals that you're saying where you gonna go from here? That's my com, whence there's literally hundreds of others that you can look into, but do something do something big. and I M not saying financially big, do something that feels like you shaking it up, feels like you getting real. That feels like the leverage that you need to say not going back to say, never again,
say from now on, I might stumble, I might fall by God? I am going to shoot, up in this life, not knowing what's happening, not knowing how many times I'm not a pivot, not knowing what's going to happen with this virus, my business, my job, my family, but I am going to arm myself with what I need to be the person that I want to be and to live the life I want to live. You need a catalyst The second thing that you need is a plan. You can have all the excitement and more interim and drive in the world. But if you don't know- where the hell you're going or how you're gonna get there all of its Gonna Peter out interactive. You ve been to a conference before you might have experienced this If you ve been to something before we you, like it super fired up, we're like guys go take on. The new your happens, you're like gonna, get healthy, whatever few experienced amount. Or you were really pops.
I'm a month, went by and you just sort of didn't have that energy anymore. It's because there was no plan to execute against. You don't get to check in to Europe I occasionally. If you want a life, that's better. If you want to if you know you are capable of living, if you want to be the person they, you know your capable of being that looks like consistency every day that looks like you vibrational, we being at a level of high energy and consistently showing up for your goals. You need a plan. The third thing that you need is a community and I am super lucky. I have some friends. Were entrepreneurs Roma community who speak in My heart and support me in these things. I have people who love me. Well, you.
I have to find that community all mine, you might have to find that community by who you follow. You might have to fight that community somewhere, but you need a like minded community and when I say like minded, I want to be really clear because they talk about our rise community, a lot and I say like minded or talk about my coaching group, the inner circle- and I say there like minded people. They are not the same people, their diverse, their different religions, their different politics. They come from different parts of the world, they have different. You know sexual oriented since they have different ways of thinking, ways of being ways that they grew up. They're not the same but they're like minded in that they're trying to take ownership of their life. They have said they stuck a flag on the ground and they said man. I don't know exactly how I'm getting to the end of this journey, but I know that I dont want to feel out of control anymore. You need it,
unity and the reason this is more important than ever. I had this epiphany today, I was like you how they say that The combination of the five people we hang out with most. This is the first time in history, that the entire world was all going the same thing and that we had access to see it in each other via social media. So if you were on so all the way I was which was a lot in the beginning, as I was just like. What else is there to do? I'm in locked down, I was just presented with people all over the world who are scared. People all over the world who are anxious. People all over the world who were eating more drinking, more numbing out watching Netflix to an end man. You can However, you mean to I'm not judge how we all coped the problem, Is that a view every single day are served with an example of that
still available for you at any moment on social media, then You will perceive that that's the normal way to be that it still ok to live and anxiety that it still ok to be this afraid that it still ok to be drinking this much eating this much all of it and, like I said earlier this year, ice. You get to do this life, however, you want to do it. This is now me telling you how to live. This is me saying I personally, I think, the next twelve months matter. I think I'm tired of being so tat. weird. I think I'm tired of this much stress. And I want to be in a community of people who feel the same way, even if we
Have all the answers I want to surround myself with friends and men tours who are like. Yet. This is where we're at boring to keep our eyes appear. A one of my favorite worship song says: I'm wanna keep my eyes above the waves. I'm gonna look up here. I'm not gonna stay down here in this. This is real right now, I'm not saying that this all all this stuff down here isn't happening. That's not the intention of this conversation I am not suggesting that we ignore all of this. What I am suggesting that we hold space for it but say that we're gonna keep our gaze on the horizon? You need a community of people who feel the same. That is today's conversation, and I hope, as always, that you guys how full a bit of a long one. So I hope you enjoyed it. If you Doug this, will you please? I just feel like it's such a timely conversation
We share this Youtube video, or will you take a screen shot and post this on social or maybe just share a friend of yours or a family member that you feel like is really struggling right now, because I do feel like it's a com, station that we all need to be having and really all I'm here? conversations about is how everything's going back to normal, we're back to normal or back out and like I don't know. Maybe where you live, it feels better but like from and my friends in my community were still for sure in me, after effects of of all these things and I want to acknowledge- and I wanna figure out a way to get better, I dont mean better performance, I mean I, you feel better given up. you know I'm a fighter, I'm bomb figuring it out. I'm still doing these things are just like you, but if I'm gonna do this,
I want to do it and thrive I dont want to serve. I've been surviving for eighteen months. I want to thrive. So that's today's conversation. I hope you found a helpful I hope that if you wanna talk about conference was in listing to you. When you put a link, in the description will put a link and show notes. You can find out more information about conference, it's happening and Austin says both in person with a limited number of in person tickets as well as virtually you can watch it from the comfort of your own home, which is pretty cool because then you could do with like family or a group of friends or your daughter, whatever I hope you guys, Doug that and that there was something in it that resonated with you. I will be back next week for another conversation. Until then remember, I love you and I'm rooting for you the Rachel Hollis podcast is hosted by me. Rachel Hollis our show is edited by Andrew Weller, with additional
reduction support by sterling coats. Our executive producer is Cameron Bergmann. The Rachel Hollis Podcast is a three percent chance production.
Transcript generated on 2021-08-04.