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27: How Slowing Down Can Boost Your Career and Home Life- SPECIAL Girl, Wash Your Face Edition

2018-01-26

To celebrate the launch of Girl, Wash Your Face I’m giving all of our Dais listeners the first three chapters for FREE! My hope is that by sharing my honest stories as a working mother, former foster parent, and a woman who has had all kinds of insecurities about my body and my relationship, is that it will spur other women to live with passion and hustle to awaken their slumbering goals. Enjoy this gift of the Third Chapter! For the rest of Girl, Wash Your Face click this link---------> amzn.to/2qSzmjj!

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey guys, it's reach our houses, and I'm here is my friend. Trent Shelton was origin, I live in the dream man, you tell listeners why we're hanging out together right now, we're going because we're launching my new podcast straight up and I'm supermax seller, add if you guys you're, not already familiar attract he as millions and millions of fans all around the globe who come to him, for AIR, unique style of coaching yeah rearing rights are. The point is really I can put it. From the heart and break it do those native mindsets breakin through of withholding you back in Mostar. We have people's lives for love that so You guys want here more you're, already listening on a podcast platform, go subscribe to straight up with Trent Shelton Short: let's go, let's go.
One of the cruellest things that I get to see as part of my job is the manifestation of the product or products that I dreamed up and created and figured out how to do like. So many of you as a business owner, you get these ideas in your head and it is incredible to get to watch them come to fruition, and I started dreaming about one of our most popular products thus start today journal. I start dreaming about this. A couple of years ago I had been doing this daily practice based on several different people. I had heard about several different things and I'm gonna put them together into one daily practice, which was every single day. I wrote down the dreams I had for my life, but I wrote them as if they had already happened. There's something really powerful about claiming a goal as if it's already done, and I wrote down every day- and it was how I set my intentions and then I would post about it on social, and so many people are like what are you doing? What is that? Where do I get that journal? And I was like guys: it's not a journal, it's just a notebook, I'm just riding down the same thing every single day, but what I think is interesting, as business owners or creators is often times. In fact, most of the time your audience will tell you what it wants from you and I kept pushing it off because I was like you guys. This is not a big deal, but it was, and people kept asking for, and I finally just thought what if I turn this into a product and I started to dream and plan- and I literally taped pictures to the wall of my office, of what I dreamed that my journey.
Would look like in the intention behind it, and I wanted the covers to be really pretty, and I wanted it to be something that you could do once a quarter and then, as you completed, each journal you'd have a stack of this evidence of how intentional you were about your life and we figured it out, and I mean you know some times we messed up on the shipping and sometimes we rest up on the interior, but we failed our way to where we are today, which is the start today journal in the hands of hundreds of thousands of people. So incredible such a blessing for me to be able to go on Instagram and see hashtag start today journal and see people all over the world using this practice as a way to aim in the direction of their dreams. So if you are not familiar- and you want to check it out, you can go over to the Hollis code. Dot com forward, slash shop and find out all about my favorite practice turned my favorite product and, if you're not in the market, to buy remember that episode. Seventy two of this podcast gives you the exact step by step so that you can do it in whatever no
Look you have laying around for free you not to buy a product, but you should be doing this daily practice. It will literally literally change your life. Welcome to the day s podcast. My name is Rachel Hollis and I've built a multi million dollar media company with a high school diploma. Google search bar each week we'll share direct, tangible ice or inspiring interviews with the same intention. These are tools to change your life too. Great. The launch of girl wash your face, I'm giving all of our day s listeners the first three chapters of the audio book for free my Is that by sharing my honest stories as a working mother, former foster parent and a woman who has had all kinds of securities that it will soon
other women to live with passion and take ownership of their own lives enjoy. This gift of the first three chapters, and if you want to hear the rest, all narrated by me order girl, wash your face on audio wherever books are sold. Chapter three no lie. I'm not good enough. I am a worker pollack Don't say that lightly the words are heavy the knowledge makes my heart hurt, though, if If myself a little grace than that, Truth is I M a recovering workaholic Pollack, and I say those words with the same trepidation and shame that might exist. Were I to tell you that I had any other kind of addiction The other kind of addiction- I looked
the definition just now, even though I've been certain of my diagnosis for a couple of years,. My online dictionary app describes work a holocaust as a person who feels compelled to work excessively compelled. That's a pretty strong word. Isn't it. I can be the only one who hears it and immediately thinks of the exercise. Holy water and a terrified priest. Compelled feels accurate, like something inside of you that won't take no for an answer likes. I'm thing you do without conscious thought did I feel compelled to work nonstop without question. Even now I am typing this work, a whole chapter, five, thirty seven in the morning because way, up to get my word count at five. O clock is the only way I can actually manage to write. Books ran a media company and raise a family. At the same time. I still
feel compelled to work until I'm exhausted physically ill pissed but the world or unable to focus my eyes but at least they don't all happen at the same time anymore, I feel I'm gaining on this problem, part of the reason I work so much as simple. I love. My job. No, I free king love, my job. The people work with our some of that kind is cool, is most creative Casio ever meet person on my team had to be vetted an Thrall had to go through a couple of people before we got it right everyone had to be trained and had to train me right back on how to manage them and be a boss. I've this year's building this team. When I walk in and its running well, when person is creating the speaker line up for our next live event, and some
health is taking. The prettiest pictures you ve ever seen, and the business team is booking new partnerships with some of the biggest brands on the planet. I feel proud. Proud to the very bottom of my toes that I high school graduate from the sticks have put this together. Beyond that my wants to burst, because all of these people are working there butts off For my dream, I had Buffy country, mouse idea that we could create a space on the internet that list, women from every walk of life that make And feel encouraged that makes them feel like they have friends that where's them help and advice, and does it with positivity at all times. And you know what it's hopefully working. When I started blogging. Only my mom and a few fiercely loyal ants read the website. Now, My digital reaches somewhere in the millions and climbing every day.
My online tribe is awesome. I admire them, and on most days I think They admire me too, and I am proud I have created a business manifestation of my faith and action huzzah. Ah then I go home at home Sawyer as fighting with Ford over who gets which Lego peace action has a little attitude. He picked up from someone at school and if he rolled his eyes at me, one more time. Lord Jesus I'm going to rip off both his arms and why? came over the head with them: the Bay is teething and fuzzy, and tomorrow is pajama day at pre school, but I'm going to miss it because I have a business trip. David ships in the night- and we haven't had a date night and weeks- and yesterday I snapped at him over pre packaged lunches and then sobbed all over my pajamas, because I felt like such a jerk, and and and a mom is hard work.
I struggle with it all the time in a hundred different ways, but being at work man I have that in the bag. I so at being at work, I am the babe Ruth of knocking out of the park in the lifestyle media sector. So when, given the choice between crushing in the office or barely hanging on at home, I got in the habit of working working, and working some more. Every time I succeeded in business. I count as validation that I was making the right choice, but wait folks, there's more You didn't think a major problem like this was caused by only one thing: did you get away? Nobody psychosis is one layer deep. I am a by dahlia onion of issues. I've gotta go, load of emotional baggage, let's unpack some I and the baby a for children.
And by the time where parents got around to my childhood, their marriage was deeply and trouble even oh, I was the youngest. I was a very self sufficient child and I thought The combo of those two things that I was largely ignored unless I did something good
hey aren't next. Women's conference is only a few weeks away and if you have never attended before this is the events that will change your life rise is a three day: women's personal development conference, where we laugh until we pay our pans and we talk about our things. We cry and we find a community and we create the road map to changing our lives or businesses or whatever it is that you're working on. If you want to find out more your curious what it's all about, I highly recommend you go check out the instagram and see what our community says. You can hear it straight from them. It's at, let's rise dot, co and, if you're looking for the next one, it's happening in Toronto on March Fifth, through the seventh that's Toronto March, this, through the seventh check out all the details at the Hollis cold dot com. If you have been looking for a nudge, if you have been looking for something to kick start change, I promise this is the thing.
Got an a on a test. Scored a goal in the soccer game. If I, a part in the school play. I succeeded, I got praise an intention I felt liked and accepted, but the most the audience stopped clapping all went back to the way it was before what taught me as a child and what I carried into adulthood. As I discovered amid a load of therapy, is the belief that, in order to be loved, I felt like I need. To produce something. Fast forward to me in my thirties and you'll, see that it's nearly impossible for me to sit still I am constantly moving and going and rushing through life this Second, I achieve one goal and I mean the second its accomplished. I immediately think ok what next struggle to celebrate or enjoy any victory, no matter how big, because
I'm always mindful of something bigger I could be doing. Instead at work, I am constantly at it I get home, I do dishes and organise cabinets and make a list of to do that will be impossible to accomplish and this lifetime or the next. This need to prove my worth, coupled with the fact Then I'm good at my career made me one heck of a work Alek yet I had no idea that I was one or that my work was grievously affecting my health and happiness of my family. The van the first time I had facial paralysis. I was now. Eighteen years old, on the tail end of the first long hard year with Dave, and I knew the end was in sight, not the end of the year. The end of our relationship altogether.
He seemed more and more detached and the long distance relationship that we are trying so hard to make work. Just wouldn't I could feel it coming just like the Collins and that one song with the Big drum solo And I started to get anxious I handled that anxiety, the, where handled, every other kind of my life a double down at work. My already full plate became for I wasn't even conscious of what I was trying to do. Maybe, I told myself said if I didn't stop to think about something bad happening, then likely wooden. One morning, I woke up and noticed that my left eye was blinking. Half a second slower than my right. I assumed I was tired from work and wondered if I needed glasses but afternoon. My tongue started to tingle and then feeling completely I went to the doktor worried I might be having a stroke. That was First time, I've ever heard of bells policy, a quick
will search informed me that it was a sometimes temporary paralysis that cause damage to the nerves that control the movement of facial muscles Within days, I couldn't close my left eye. Move. My mouth or feel anything on the left side of my face. I dont know why it's only one side of the face, but I can tell you it only adds to the overall charm I had to wear an eyepatch which, by the way, is super sexy and basically every nineteen year old girls dream. They couldn't move my lips. My speech was slurred and hard to understand, I chewed I had a whole my mouth closed with my fingers for fear that food would fly out and kamikaze to the floor. The nerve damage causes Neuralgia, which is also incredibly painful. Dear that time I felt so sorry for myself. Even though was fifteen years ago,
I remember exactly how I felt when I looked in the mirror and realise how disfigured my face actually was how it I'd in vain, put on eyeliner or mascara as adding make up would somehow make the paralysis go away or how Each time I got the make upon. I would inevitably cry it right back off. I spent those weeks perpetually worried, weighed down by the doctors prognosis that this could last a few days or months on end. There was no way to be sure in retrospect, I never thought of myself ass conceded I never wore make up or style my hair until I was an adult. But having both palsy made me hyper aware of the way I looked, I became completely depressed. I only got out of bed to go to work and as soon as I got back home, I got back under the covers I never wanted to leave my better or even answer the phone on the roof?
Your occasion than a friend talked me into leaving my apartment. I was mortified at the way people stared or pitied me. When I tried to speak in the midst of it all. The best what I have been trying to dodge found its mark Dave broke up with me. Ok, yes, breaking up with a girl and I feel the need to point out that sometimes we do stupid things that hurt our laws point out that sometimes we do stupid things that hurt our loved ones, you're, trying to figure ourselves out. Since the moment we got back together, though, which happened when my face is still broken by the way he has in an incredible partner, the point there is that? I made myself severely ill, trying keep something inevitable from happening when the poor they finally subsided. A month later, I was beyond thankful relief That the worst was behind me, I chopped experience to a one time, bout of terrible luck.
A few years later Dave and I decided to take our first trip to Europe. This was back when we were child free and could just room up. Plans like what went to Europe with no babies or dogs are real responsibility, which got ourselves a fly and old churches with our passwords buried under our clothes, for fear that gypsies we had heard about would rob S. God less us. When we made it to Florence, it was, breathing, I dreamed ITALY would be we loads of pasta, walked the Will stand streets and made out like it was our part time job we say whole afternoons, imagining our future and what we will name are unborne dream. Children It was one of the most romantic experiences of my life. By the time we got to Venice, a few days later My tongue have started to go NAM.
I stood in an italian hotel, room and sobbed, because I knew the policy had come back out, beautiful. Vacation was now being marred by the stress of trying to get medical help in another. Country. As an aside using my English to italian translation guide book, to explain to a venetian pharmacists that I needed, an eyepatch is still one of the most comical experiences of my life, also the eyepatch plus My paralysed base meant that got to the front of every line in customs. Silver lining. Further comedians David, I may jokes about the assets of such an illness. For example, I did an amazing Sammy Davis, Jr Impersonation, also the pirate jokes were endless, your. It was and until we arrived in Paris allow lifelong dream destination of mine. That even jokes couldn't lift my spirits as well.
I threw the shown them. I realise the photo I had always dreamed of me in front of the Eiffel Tower would forever be a reminder of this illness has Much as I hate to admit it, I'm not were felt sorry for myself than in that moment. In that old photograph with can google by the way, because I am not afraid to share any pick on the internet. Apparently standing alone in front of the tower bundle for the weather I'm wearing sunglasses to try and hide the eyepatch, and since smile would have only works on half my face. I just Nothing at all, got back home doktor, put me on steroids and sent me to see in her all just to make sure the palsy wasn't a symptom of something greater after the die just didn't find the brain tumor I was sure. Was there, They gave me an interesting prognosis. With times I've gotten palsy, I'd been under extreme stress,
like many women, I was working so hard and not taking good care of myself. I r that this could it be the case after all, I've gotten sick again, while on a romantic vacation. That's when they pointed out that it was the first vacation we'd taken in three years, Three years of sixty hour weeks, followed by one too weak break, does not a decompress girl make It was also at the beginning of launching a business, and I staying busy, desperate to prove myself We were trying to get pregnant at the time and though I was only twenty four month after month after month, had passed without a baby rather than managing that stress, I just given myself more things to do. Our bodies are incredible. They can unbelievable things.
It will also tell you exactly what they need if you're willing to listen and if you're not you try to do too many things without rest, they will absolutely shut down to get what they need. About three years ago. I started to develop symptoms of vertigo. And about work and the room would sway around me. I felt Z throughout the day. My eyes- had trouble focusing, and I spent Most of my time dealing nauseous weeks. I assumed I must need more sleep, more water, unless Diet Coke. Got so bad, I was afraid to drive with my kids in the car. I decided to see a doctor or so so many doctors in turn allergies in tease, nobody could quite figure it out. I ate well, I was healthy around me. Our thoughts, for goodness sake, all agreed. I had vertigo, but couldn't definitively tell me. Why
Eventually, the anti suggested it was seasonal, Vertigo brought on by my allergies and and no one else had a better idea. I went with it take analogy pill every day. He told me, so I did every night without fail. I took my pill sometimes when the spinning not really bad. I took a second one which me crazy drowsy, but at least it calm, the Vertigo. I did this for over a year and resign myself to the fact that life would be a little busier forever. It wasn't a big deal. I told myself. It only meant that, instead of giving a hundred percent, I now would need to give a hundred and thirty percent to make up for not being able to work as fast anymore sounds crazy. To write that, but over cheating, mind it made absolute sense, then about two years ago I heard about a homeopathic doctor who specialised in Vertigo
I never gone to a homeopathic doctor in my life, but at that Why? If someone had said I could cure my constant nausea with voodoo and the sacrifice of a spring chicken. I would have seriously considered it. I went to meet with him. His power He tell his shirt made of organic camp and his life size statue of Danish and I tried keep an open mind while he talked into the air beside him. Instead of to me laid out, the whole story of when I got sick and how it affected me, and he asked Hundred questions about my emotions, my childhood and you are reasons why I felt a certain way. I kept thinking when the sea about stress and what's the deal with that little talking about stress and what's the deal with that little collection of crystals before I want him, I assumed homeopathic doctors, tell you to stop your sugar intake, or, God forbid. Sir
beating dairy because it messes with your shock, rise or whatever, but for two hours of me talking. He abrupt. Interrupted and announced to the room, no more, I know what's wrong, then He blew me away. He point. Out that my Vertigo had come on. For the first time when I was under extreme stress at work, and every time it got so bad that it couldn't lift my head off a pillow. It was because, the stress, had gotten worse. That time, I had a big turnover of staff at Sheikh Vertigo that time I was so excited to write my first contracted book, but then was positive, it with terrible and I'd, be fired and have to pay back the advance Vertigo and every single instance my vertigo was a is the corresponds to an emotional problem. A is the cool response. To an emotional problem.
I didn't even know our bodies did that. Ok, I knew it in the same way that every other God fearing law, abiding woman who washed Oprah and heard about self care knows it but I grew up in the country got a shot gun for my thirteen birthday. I may have lived in a way for fourteen years, but my rub: some dirt on it tendencies run deep. His way hit me like ice water? And now that I knew he was right, I immediately wanted to know how to fix it and get back to normal go home do nothing. He told me, I'm sorry what. Go home and do nothing sit around watch tv spend an entire day on the sofa cover that your world doesn't implode without you going a hundred miles an hour, get up next day and do it again. Verily, I say unto you dear reader,
his words made me want to throw up its it's crazy. It is kind of crazy, but the idea of doing nothing makes mice and crawl Even when I'm at home, I am constantly doing something If I'm not taking care of the kids, I'm organizing the house cleaning out my closet or giving myself d I why facial what happen. If you stopped moving, he asked me. I shook my head in blind panic, the edge of a shark floating to the surface of the ocean dead from LA Lack of movement came to my mind. All here think was: I don't know, but it will be bad Talk about life, altering moments talk about someone holding a mere up to your face and making you realize you're, not actually the person you think you are at all spent my days thinking up ways to help women live a better life and the
full time I try. We believe that was qualified to teach it, because I was, actually living it. Meanwhile, I wasn't doing the most fundamental thing a woman needs to do before she can take care of any one else. Take care of herself. I needed a drastic life change. I force self to stop working so many hours, I went office from nine thirty, two four thirty and was shocked to discover that the world continue to spend spin on its axis. I push me self to rest too. It and do nothing It gave me mass of anxiety, so A port myself, a glass of wine- and I kept right on sitting there. I sort of volunteering at the local homeless, shelter I took a hip, hop dance glass turns out terrible and hip hop dance glass, but
I love it so much. I laughed like a toddler through the entire our long process. I looked for joy. I looked for peace I stopped drinking so much caffeine. I played with my kids. I did a lot of therapy and then dead. Some more I prayed. I looked up every scripture in the Bible that talks about rest. I had With my girlfriends, I went on deck, so my husband I taught myself to take it one day at a time to stop obsessing over the next victory and to approve. The simple parts of today I learned to celebrate accomplishments not with egg flashy parties, but with taco nights or bottle of wine. I acknowledge my own hard work. And me achievements of my company, and I learned to rest in the knowledge that I will. Still be ok, even if both of those things go away tomorrow,.
I studied the gospel, finally, grass the divine knowledge that I am loved and worthy and enough as I am Turning to rest is an ongoing process. Like any other lifelong behavior. I constantly fight the desire to slip back into the role I've played for so long. They say first step is emitting. You have a problem. Two years ago. I did just that. I learned that I am a recovering work Alek, but through this process, I also learned that I am a child of God and that trumps everything else, things that helped me number one I went to therapy. This could be the first thing I list out for every single element I work through, but it's specially real in this case, where not for my therapist. I never would have understood the connection between my childhood in securities and my adult
Compliments were it not for a therapist. I never would have realised that the drive for accomplishment can sleepy harmful I cannot recommend therapy enough and if I had beyond saves money, the first thing I do is pay for therapy. For every woman. I could find ask your friend to recommend someone they like or ass. Your gynecologist to refer you adopt, for your lady parts knows the right kind of councillors for a woman. Trust me number two I hustled for joy work, just as hard for fun moments, vacation moments and peer bans, laughing moments as you do for all the other things I encourage you to take a walk collar friend. Have a glass of wine enjoy a bubble bath or take a long lunch. All of that. Work will be there when you get back alive, look I'm awake, recharge or batteries and give you the energy to battle that ever growing to do list number three.
I re ordered my list when ask most women to name the things on their priority list can throw them out there. No problem kid its partner work, faith, etc. The order may change, but the bullet points rarely do no. What also rarely changes, no matter how many women I talked to them act. Lee pudding themselves on their own priority list. You who should be the very first of your priorities, are you getting enough sleep enough water, the right nutrition. You can now take care of others. Well, if you're not birthday, in care of yourself also. One of the best ways to ensure that you stop trying to run from your problems is to face them head on. Thanks to our producer, Allison Cohen, sound engineer, Jack Noble and are sound editor Andrew Weller.
Ladies and gentlemen. Did I mentioned I have a book coming out. Here's a thing: it's called get out of your own way, sceptics guide to growth and fulfilment and we're The priest cell window of windows- I am super- excited about having written a book for both men and women about Twenty lies that I once believed that were keeping me in my own way. I have written. This from the perspective of someone that Totally different from Rachel Hollis, even if the format is somewhat similar to grow wash your face, I wrote it from the perspective of someone who's been skeptical of tools like this book or even podcast or listening to you for ever and ever its through that lends that I'm talking about the ways that I was getting in my own way and vague in uncovering the truth. Behind those lies, not only help me get out of my own way. It I'll help you get out of yours. There are two ways I want to say. Thank you for preparing this book.
I have created an e course penny course. Yes and a course of sixty minutes each course called finding your. Why it's a phantom ass, the resource, it's available, absolutely for right now for having pure the book, and If you go to get out of your own way, the book that calm right now and father not only we get a course, you can hear the first thirty minutes of the book again get out of on way comes out March. Tenth, I'm super super excited about it, get out of your own way. The book dot com hit that link follow the problems, and I appreciate your support.
Transcript generated on 2020-02-16.