Our childhoods. Make us who we are again, whether whether we follow that path or not, whether it's you know on purpose and with conviction to do the Is it worth do the same? If we have had a good upbringing, I just wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for all the dysfunction and negativity- and you know some of the happy moment as well, that I grew up in like assist. I am wholeheartedly who I am because of those things, I I'm rachel hollis- and this is my podcast. I spend so many hours of every single week, reading and listening to podcast and watching youtube videos and trying to find out as much as I can about the world around me and that's what we do on this show. We talk about everything life and how to be an entrepreneur. What happened dinosaurs? What's the best recipe for fried chicken? What's the best plan for intermittent fast, thing what's going on with our inner child house therapy working out for

whatever it is. My guests are into. I want unpacking so that we can all. all understand these, conversations. This is empty nation for the curious. This is the rachel Hollis. I guess I guys it's rage and welcome to another in our mastermind series mastermind episodes are when we take the best of the best in six plus years. of doing their show. I have gotten to talk to some amazing teachers leader, thought makers, actors, riders, just every kind of and you can imagine, and each of them brings their own unique perspective to our conversations and Then those conversations is some of them,

the advice I've heard in my entire life. So I thought what if we took single themes? What if we win? through all the episodes and got the best of the best on a particular subject, and today we're talking about fear What do you do when you're in a really hard season, and you have massive fear about how to move forward? What do you do when you're struggling with grief or law ass or pain, or maybe you ve gone to a big break up What do you do when your career is on the line? And if you don't make the next right decision, everything could be done. Fear causes us to me way more terrible? decisions than it will ever propel us to make great ones, but don't take my word for it today, we're gonna hear

from three really unique perspectives. Actress many driver hip hop artists, logic. And billion air founder of a good gillian too, companies, jesse esler. I hope you enjoy this conversation about being less afraid. Of your fear, my father, who is who is a complicated, amazing dude, he said to me really identify what you're not good at, because you know what it is that you're good at and if you can find someone help you to do that always delegate always, and so the first the lean times and the good times. I will always. I always have somehow found people to come in and and help me with the stuff that I now I don't know how to do. This whole time feels it feels,

and the tree, and it feels transformational physically after just hang, You have to hang on and you will have to be fluid and and let go it's I feel like all of the extraneous stuff has been kasza way, including the people that. I've read, as you just said, if just because you we had and now like. No I have anything leaned down, you know collectively we are, we can never get everybody to agree on everything, but is gonna. I feel There's gonna be a lot of individuals who who want to buy with them the thing but they land or the things that they saw from slowing down. That, though, the way in which their life was changed, and moulded and the market people. He if you dont want that, but its we changed by their like fundamentally whether whether one acknowledges it or not whether it goes back to being unconscious or it stays conscious. It's different. We

what it's like to be powerless against. An invisible foe and how to let you know how to live in a new in a new way around work around parenting, I mean in school. I think up less than, but oh my god It was your kids like doing zoom, p e, so terrible so terrible. I just got like for them, but also have a dear friend who is an athletic thought it a director at a school who taught who I tee. I knew hate kid. They kid they kindergarten to fit out like on a computer blast them all with no make, I mean really genuinely like everybody. Every putty just had to leg had to figure it out like there was something my mom my mother was just you know she was It can kills me that the last year of her life was like was spent.

a lot alone, but my mother, who died at eighty four. She a bike everywhere and all true lockdown and we spoke every single day and she spoke for an hour with each of our children and she would along the river thames and she would look on the map shows us that this map and she would find where green space was, and it was always green spaces. She'd never been too. And she was in It was incredible. She was in nature all the time and suited shielded from us physically, but billy with her, and that is exactly what I feel now is she's sort of shit. for me, but she's in she's, in everything beautiful, Thank you for sharing that with no that's all right he's cloud talking about

without sure I'm sure, but it's good because you know there will be people listening who are going through this too and who don't know how to navigate grief- and you know we'll is a weird club to be part of absolutely, and I think that it comes in so many different forms in so many different ways, and it's this thing that you think you're fine and then you see finger here, something or smell something in it, an incident under back and that space again. oh yeah, I mean that british, not known for their public displays of emotion and when I've formed pieces on the street. It serves to ordinary people. Just could have leg. You know their scooter around and carry. shopping. Is it look away across the street I'm just standing booing and its is actually quite good. I've, quite invisible, which is which is not usual say, but But maybe people recognize me when I like my god. It's me

Having has now having a primarily through personal salary or my god, what happened there? we has been hard seasons. As I know there have been many everybody and I my life is always been peaks and troughs and I did not navigated while early throw light getting really famous into that when you quite young, it's totally sort of mine bending bought. Yes, like our older and served war literally and figuratively ivory. Learn to write it. I really learn to just go well, you know this I can do about this. This is this is hard and I haven't the in it and Oh, you know that since churchill, quiet of when you're going through help, keep going I have just what you have to do. I will see what's the alternative if you crawl into bed- and we do that. You know there are those days where you crawl into bed and you don't get out, but then you have,

you have shown for, especially of it. If you have kids, are you happy there? You have to? I think for yourself, even if heap No, you don't have children. I know how desperately you know. sad is to be alone and to be depressed, but you, that notion of getting up and pudding the radio on, which is what we do in london has the radio hairs. You know again, might My dad was, like my dad, suffer from it russian and all the way through his life, and he he said that just may the action of getting up and getting dressed and putting the radio on and eating breakfast he was like. It was just that he do, just a small things. Are you just do it? one after another. You get through and if those and if it breaks down, then you got it right down, and then you pick it up and you carry on that's suppose the separate issues, and that no I mean I feel like that is

the matter where you are in the world that is really just you're, making the next ripening right. What's the next right for me to do in this moment- and sometimes it is can the rainy on, and sometimes it is go back to bed and then seeing you gotta mean there have been some moments in these two months where Henry has seen me in such a state but always try to eat when the school has kind of past really talk to him about that greece. Is an extension and an expression of love like that's what it is and don't be frightened by failing to be frightened by pain. Sadness, and if he sees it, sing. He sees you save me. He sees me allowing it and then it passed and then you kind of coming back to yourself, and I didn't. I was saying this earlier to a lovely friend of mine, but they should teach. They should teach this in schools like they should teach you take teaching

It's about! You should talk about death. She talk about grief, she took about that. It's a moving journey and that it's not this terrifying thing that we don't talk about and we just pray never happens to someone that we love. But it's like it's going to is going to happen and we should talk about it. Nerves, I think I learnt with. I did so many plays at school, and so was it really. Was have in front of an audience so often and learned to turn his nerves into anti, like this into the part of the whole deal, might pass. The passion I didn't mean that there wasn't sometimes a pocket there. Still when lasted a play. I had a bucket a decisive stage in our job every night before I go on now. However, You do that and then you use you use all of that stuff like rocket fuel. So it's kind of is the car which is, I think, those quit her life. Is that its counter intuitive and the things that you think you're frightened of

deemed inquired painful, are actually the things that, if you, if you do, that you belly up to them describes what your interaction with them is. Gonna, be you can use them. You can use those things and again unearthing enough people tell you that that use the things that make you scared used. The things that you would rather discard meaning like? Are you taking that feeling of nervousness or anxiety instead of flipping it and making it like? Okay, I'm going to use this and feel it as excite like her you don't exactly. Ok, that is exactly as it were. That was exactly it. It was like I started to call at some indifferent to literally call it something different. I excited and that's that whole sedative use, if you you are right, it becomes. Your narrative is what you say in what you say. I think will become reality if you said enough,

hmm. I think there's some lassitude with that, because I get scared when I sort of go, you know say something terrible might go nowhere to want that to happen. I think there's I think, there's I think, there's like appear that grace period yeah now. I think I just think that's I started calling as I'm indifferent and it became indifferent, and then it was stopped. It was. It was exciting. I loved walking into those rooms and particularly if people were dismissive, underestimated me, I really enjoyed making them sit up and listen to tell you the truth. I when I did a play so I was like I was thirty five go on now serves a while back got? It was so long ago accomplishes. However, I put it in the category of peaks and troughs like yeah stuff, like that, just won't make me give up. There is a period of feeling. beaten by it and suddenly we need for me when you, when you don't, when I dont, have workforce

I didn't, have work now. I've got a lot of work, but is even then We like you, have to hold your cause, you just u have to hold you have to hold the line you let alone between you and your creativity and what it is you want to do and you can't zigzag across it following a worrying about whether other people are doing better than you or whether there something you should be doing it sank. Beware. You are an end, keep your eye on where it is, you want to go Why have you learned about success after all this time I have a very different barometer for than I did when I was younger. When I was, twenties and when I was really you know when I was back when I was famous, now I d really mean that, like it was, I really thought that it was. It was so tied to whether things was would deem successful by everybody else, and that is

just that just changes. It changes a change fundamentally to be. in a profession where it so much about people allowing you to work. You have to get hired by other people, your processed by an additive by the commission. Is it by the directive by the producers by the studio to religious side to be the orbit If what you think successes- and allow to be smaller than you off in a bigger It could be a mean. My life, expanded, exe, actually after I had henry- I get really it really really did, and the joy and in in something other than work was miraculous I may not. Always there have been matriarchal societies, but it sort of fundamentally most of the time been run by the deeds yeah. If I were do

and I saw this person who could grow a person inside them. I would be fucking scat. I would be scared, and I would go that shit is bananas and we got a weighted in we shut that down and we gotta we gotta, be we gotta, be the maastricht because it speakers Here is terrifying made power and I and women. You know we agreed because we didn't really have much choice uniting it took us. It took a long time to unwind to unwind that and to take to take back that power. God knows was still doing it's not like it's all summer gets all done mean right. Have you the Senate right of your son, Listening to this end there there wanting to understand this better or their wanting. Let's say: let us start with the moon cycle, which is a really powerful thing to understand, and would you have me advice for anybody who is listening about where to begin to learn about

connection to nature as women and how this plays out for us and like where, where do you even began to issues im. Gonna walk outside. They go for a walk, go for confined green space go to a park, yeah she's off fail the tat underneath your feet, going jump in the ocean gun watch it sit and watch a tree. Sittin. Look at that. I always believed in the end, the my story like out, which is so important as as not as any If your single you have to believe here, she's out there, if you're an entrepreneur, you have to believe, I always knew I was onto something I just didn't know what that would what that would be. So I was, I was always looking for clues. I will go into bookstores and I look at the packaging of the book covers. I go into a

who is now look at what happened every section. I was this always aware. Thinking like what will be my idea, and I was and because I was in that space already, I was a guest on a private plain, like just done a fluke and when I walked onto the playing my partner like people travel like this. This is nuts Why do we need the air? I want to do this led to the research around, how can we do it and this idea of a twenty five hour jack are where you can get all the benefits if owning your own plane without having to buy a pair and that that sort of outside so cool that is yeah. It's so cool, I would say less about clues and more more about just being aware, like putting myself in a state of mind, where, unlike ok, I don't have my idea, I'm going to have an idea for a business. I just don't know what it is yet is alive.

Dear friend, so you you're always like aware on your open. Well, I like it, like you, said to me: how did you think of that idea, you in a different frequencies, than someone that's going and ninety five and dislike this. Is my wife I kick and added this? This is what I do so. My internal talk was. Myself. I was Albert I like eventually yeah, I used to walk into my office when I was with my partner. I had nothing. I made thirty seven thousand dollars till I was twenty seven years old and I used to walk into my office and I would turn my and like we're millionaires, they just haven't paid us yet like that's how we are.

Like we really like. I was convinced myself that something big was on the horizon. So that's what I mean like I was in that that was my frequency and my task during the failures that even during the egg on my face and even getting dropped from the label, getting rejected in desperate laptop. So I wasn't a trial and error estate in and marquis was that we try to work big time if you were to invest three minutes a day. So there's no way everybody listening here can invest if it's important to them three minutes a day. So if you were to, if you were to send a d, I am an email or a handwritten letter. They took a minute for me to send you a reach thanks for have me on today, great to catch I love seeing you I'm a super fan of you to be on. Your show is amazing. Thank you. Boom takes me twenty seconds, so if I did that for three minutes a day and I sent three texts- dams handwritten letters-

meals over the course of a year. If I'm consistent, that's one thousand seeds planted as a thousand people. You will hit Well, not everyone is going to buy your product that everyone's going to be a customer, but if you plant a thousand seeds, you only need one one person comes the course- the life one buyer, one referral, so If you do that one day, nothing's going to happen, if you do that for a year and you cast a thousand seeds, a couple of those will grow to be trees. So I'm very consistent, a part of my in business today and I'm still like, I have an underdog mentality. in this case world the wealthiest underdog good. I have I really like that. I gotta stay hung. I got

stay in that zone. So I still do this and I do it in the carpool line I still boom. I knocked out three tax every day, picking up my kids, but over the course of time that that's how you know, work its consistency getting out of sight? I there's like two million pike ass on in the air the library? Do you know that five hundred thousand of them only have one episode of their pike ass, a quarter twenty five percent? if that's the competition that they do want, like. Oh, my god, I didn't strike gold. The average it is our calling me up like any quit it. That's the state of this country in the world. I, like my chances. He s got back, I gotta do is due to pack guess I'm in the top. You know a basically in the top seventy five percent. Just because, if I went to one extra

for so. Like singly consistent, I don't. I don't quit off of after one little thing I mean he's, aren't like super skills. These are it's like no yeah. I know it takes three minutes a day and plant those seeds, man. You know you talked about the handwritten letter and like how unusual it is. I have four kids. If my kids get a hand letter, it's like christmas, they freak out part of being an entrepreneur or, This person is breaking through the platter and we all get emails. We all get bombarded with ear emails, our text, dams and a lot of times. We don't read em They get sifted through by an assistant or they go into spam. Have you, ever received a letter that you haven't read? you read having greater no of course, of course, of course, and the eu

as for me, to send an email takes a second blah blah blah blah blah blah send to get a stamp writer write something get a stamp lick. The envelope walked in the mailbox put it in the mailbox, that's a whole different energy that I'm sending towards our relationship than a one. Second email. I built my entire career, carrying the most I'm dead, frigging serious I just marquis jet. Like I cared about the customers, I network, I don't network to network, I care about the people. I send a dm still don't waste time. I don't like say. Oh I have to who I have to get a quota of three there's people I care about and when I put the effort in

there were stamp and a letter in this. They feel that as the recipient, and they return that to me, you know- and I bill you could go through everybody in my phone book and they're all randomly pick. Anyone they'll say the same thing, and yet I care about me and anyone can do that and they don't teach that school. You know little teach that and where is listening to this, you there's no reason why you should be the person that cares the most about whatever it is you do whatever you do for a living. You should be known as the person who cares the most, because customers feel that people think of return on investment in dollars were rating. for whatever return on investment comes in a lot of different shapes and sizes. It's not just money or bottom line, and for me

the return on the investment sometimes is the impact that I have on people seem at you. I mean you're in the impact business. It's the impact that I have on people, it's how it makes me feel But one thing: everybody listening to this debate, to your show for a bunch of different reasons: either they want to get nuggets. They want to get advice. Who knows, but the one thing every listener you and I included having common everybody. The one thing is, we want to feel good. We want to feel good. So it makes me feel good. I don't care what the responses it makes me feel good. So I can't control every book review I control the comments. I can't control this one feels none of us can and, if you it'd be a business. You have to have much thicker skin than that. You know you have to be able to deal with disappointment, deal with being embarrassed deal with how what you know not worry about,

what other people s uneasy? Amassing it's easy! but that's a reality, but their return investment and how you feel is what matters most and yeah. You know you want to do things that make you feel good this could be like. This is a million dollars of the interview right here. a million dollars right here. Ok, we were we're already: a soul, five businesses, I've heard a lot of failures, but I had five businesses that have sold to major companies, the feeling that you get. When you sell a company when the wire hits your account is the same. It's the same feeling that you When we talk about how you feel you get when you finish: arrays, twenty, nine or twenty nine, the marathon of five kay when you walk in old lady across the street or when you do something that makes you feel good to. Somebody is the same.

Yelling you're right people think people think you have to wait till you have an event like you sell a company like my wife sold spanx, where I sold marcie jet. They had their feeling or you at the climate every to get tat feeling when you, when anyone listening realises that you can get their feeling every day When you'd understand that- and you bottle that feeling of selling a company or climbing mount everest every day through things that you do you want, You want one what you want you want game over. If you at ten years like. Oh, if I do this I'll feel that way. You're waiting to catch up to life as one hundred instead of just taking life every day and- and you know I understand people in different circumstances financially, I understand people-

and opportunities. But I truly believe that anybody can have that feeling because live on your own roof, so I really like that to me. That's all, with my life, you talked about building a life resonate, but to me that the most important thing is like that feeling I don't want to wait, wants it twenty years to have a monumental event. Feel that morocco, right that every day and little things like that, like, I feel the same way about picking up later. Anything you do that makes you feel good about yourself is a win, and people forget that man and they wait for things to happen to them. That, like will change their course money things you can do that can change your course and anyone going through like a downward spiral of feels stock overwhelm the easiest stop plug.

If you give that power and momentum, it's hard, as you know, to turn that around, but the easiest stop plug is to do something that makes you feel accomplished or good about yourself, and it can be a little the little things. So I totally get what you're saying about the nail. I actually like that really hits me. I tat a hundred percent, a hundred percent. No, I mean we spend so much time focusing on our traditional raised may, which is important, but we often the black. What I think is more important, which is our life resonate, which is the experiences we had the memories we create. And all that I really invested. I had a financial adviser came of it. Fifty com try to get our bid, this and usually they had the same logo

different logo on the same kind of brochure bonds in stocks and when you want to do and a guy came in- and he said to me, if you had a choice to lead your kids, a boat load, a money or a boat load of life. Experience is what would you rather give em and obviously I would rather give them life experiences, but I am like, you get me like. You really get me the more you experience the more you can offer the more at the empathy you have, the more you can share with people. the more interesting you are. You know people try to build up their traditional resume rage and like to get bigger jobs, but I feel If you do really cool shit, you become more interesting at work people. It's! you're selling stuff. They want to know about it. It's contagious. It makes you happier if you didn't do the things you wanted to do because your boyfriend wants you to go, the opera are making it You will really. I resent your boyfriend or were you

if guy for your partner for taking away what you love to do an prioritizing yourself. Prioritizing adventure scheduling that stuff. laying life on often like prioritizing what you like to do. I think it is so and so important and I think that that that's been lost in translation- and, let me just say one more thing: it off the whole notion of having a life resume and living in like doing things that make you feel alive and veal and get cited. I could have something on my calendar three months from now that care me through work. I'm excited about it, something to look forward to it all I'm from your relationship with time and most people their relationship with time is very different than mine is very, I think, very work. When you think of relationship you think of him in terms of relationships with people like your kids area partner. But you know

of in terms of your relationship with money like that's important. What's your relationship with money and what's your relationship with time let me give you an example: you have you do have you gave your plan picked out now right. So you think you're gonna die the right one day one day, but you you don't think it's can happen happen anytime soon. Obviously, because if you did, you would have all your significant nick and others would have you your passwords for instagram and social. You had your graveyard. I think that you be organised around that, but you, like probably ninety nine point. Ninety nine percent of the people listening think there's no way anything like this could happen to me soon, so you so That's really telling me and yourself is I got time. all the time in the world and you don't realize that picking on you, given moment, you could get diagnosed with something

at that age now, where you can get hit by a truck, your circumstances can change. if you don't realize that you're not operating, which you urgency I'll do it next year, I start that this I'm going. Do this three and and then inevitably zoom call weddings anniversaries, appointments start to take over your calendar And now you have no time to do the things you wanted to do. So, if I were to ask you reach what did you do to doubt and twenty fifteen twenty eighteen? Twenty, when he one you should be able to rattle off what you do a days ago. You probably would you do a day's getting annoying because, like yeah no crews to life in our routine, that would that's what makes time himself and all of a sudden, the average americans gaining two pounds between thirty five and sixty five fifty pounds over way, there's sixty years old, they can't do the trip they wanted to do time. Under feed, no one's ever beaten time, yeah, oh

where you can be time is, if is by doing things, that time can't take away from you time can't take away your book lunch time can't take away your twenty. I know twenty nine tight time can't take away your trip to ITALY, If you do it, you don't do don't do it time. Can you got sick time? Got me I'm all time got me. The very important thing to remember: you gotta be a door. He had realized like men, I dont have the luxury of. Forever. While I feel like, if you don't plan it won't happen, I also feel like, as you the older, creating newness is really hard. Where does newness come from? You live in routine, yet the planet. So I feel like most of us and I think, probably most people listening tests with a great play life on defense

we wait for people to request a rachel. We join us, but his doom call. We come to this charity, then he reached. Can you get me fifteen minutes? A good friend wants to pick your brain about being in a new new author, our calendar spill up those or other people's requests. For our time. We only get. Fifty two weekends and then the whole years like we have no time to even do anything we want to do so. I've changed that model upside down and I get this big cowan I sell it is clear that on that point, but in any event, what I do is I map out as much of what I want to do in advance. So once it's on my calendar, I feel and all the other stuff fills in around. What I wanted to this is unbelievable This: is the other million dollar part of them interview cabin, and I took our kids camping in the winter tonight, washington and my son was His daughter was a and its snowing, it's freezing worthy sleeping bag

outside, I said Kevin eight billion people in the world, where the only for people on top of this unbelievable mountain. How often they do this is a police officer. He the lights out because men every other month since I graduated college, I do something I normally went to that. I so we talking about here so I won't say, watching the football game on Saturday I'll run a five k or I'll. Take my kids, fishing or I'll go to a museum or I'll sign up for a cooking class. I just do something with the done. I go why he goes because,

If you do six of those many adventures every year and you're thirty and you live to be. Seventy you'll have two hundred and forty many adventures that you want that hat. I said: that's kevin unless you're fucking genius, I said who can't take one day every other month and do that? I'm not I'm talking about living a life, creating a life. That's bullet proof, because you're you're over indexing in experiences, I don't buy art, I don't buy, fancy watch it I'm invests in experiences and things with the people. I love to do them with I put more on my plate of what I love to deal with people. I love to do and whether you know these experiences that you do it's a gift to your community, because you do this when the shark do they pointed out, we do these things and then you, share and inspire from what you learn that doesn't happen sitting in front of a computer screen right.

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please you name it it's their visit instead, cart doc. To download the app and get free delivery on your first three orders offer and for a limited time, dollar minimum pre order. Additional terms apply. I. I just wouldn't be, who I am today if it wasn't for all the dysfunction and negativity and some of the happy moment as well that I grew up in like it's just I am wholeheartedly who and because of those things, so it's yeah I mean. I agree is just wording re egg, but how you you perceive it, how I could perceive it how this or that, but it's really is all the same thing I think our childhoods. Make us who we are again, whether whether we follow that path or not, whether it's you know on purpose and with conviction to do the opposite wall. Do the same if we have had a good upbringing. It's I dunno. I just

Like I said, I had a body that I grew up with within. He came from the better part of gettysburg in the three story house and a data worked for the government, loving mother and ever needed thing, and then you know he slices some dude stomach open in his intestines fall on the floor and needs in jailed for fourteen years in any beast caisson when I was a kid runnin around with them. You know eba guns in my hands and we were shooting sheridan doing dumb stephan wrapping in all this stuff- and here was this white boy who came from a pleasant place whose now walkin around you know our town with- I shot guns under trench coat. Meanwhile, I came from the place where you think that, have been me right, I turned out in many ways I think at least more so as a human being, just as a person the way he would have

growing up in a three story house with the x Y, see him but land. You think he would turn out the way that I did or would have since I was raised that way and in my house probably like fourteen fifteen is when I really got started to get into hip. Hop. Ok in music in general is funny my home, if I never could really here lyrics, I don't have to explain it. I'm listening I they listen to music, but I wouldn't really here the lyrics or understand that there was a message or something until I started writing myself interesting, how'd. How do you even take that on? I mean also what inspired you to think that you should take that its monkey see monkey. Do you know I think any great I mean how many interviews of you watched books have right. You know it's just like you kind of trotted. You do your best to be the favorite percy, I'm enjoy yeah and then through that you realize you know what I actually wouldn't do it. That way, and I would prefer to do it this way or that x y see and then that's what makes you unique in turn. So for me, I thought:

It was more soldiers, listen and tribe, conquest and wooten clan, and you know something different amazing artists and in trying to do what they did in fine figure out why they did it and how they did it as well as they did whether its enunciation in pronunciation- and you notice- a certain level of having vote have you area me gnaws when he was before automatic re pneumatic came out. Ninety three, I believe, might have been ninety two, but I'm pretty sure was ninety. Ninety three and so ill It comes out and he's using words like cerebral cortex and, like all the shameless like from the hunted up he's from queens bridge like selling drugs and all this. The people just didn't talk that way, and so, that is another thing that inspired me till I check out. books from the library on human anatomy and medical terms, firms and all this at a shit so rather than just like you know, listen to whoever tongue Baha bitches in house and fuck. It look at his money and all whatever I was like now I don't have any of that select. What can I talk about re? So I think that

the mixture between my home life, studying what the degrades before me had done. Kind of gonna to do something different like integrate the fact that I'm a nerd and I like syphon enemy in all these different things, which I was perfect for many years for in hip up, but I think I'm also Big reason of why hip hop has changed and there are people like me who don't necessarily have to fit a certain stereo type or talk about a certain thing. It's it's like you know you have these artists who aren't actually who they are they? Actually they truly do fabricate a lot of who they are not. great once he had a view as ones but the guys who are like I'm in the herd, and I'm doing this I'm doing that because they're they're, just like patch waiting a notion that hip hop has to be a certain thing which I've always found extremely bullshit. You know you if you look at it the genre of rap right so, first and foremost it was, it was a it was. It was born something beautiful kind. You know people definitely of color trying to spread a message, a message of peace-

The from grandmaster flash and furious five to run dm seed, dj cool earth? It was built on something for now, when you have guys like interviewing ice cuban idea, in anybody who may bring not necessarily what I'd like to call a negative connotation hippo by any means, but just a different perspective. If a lot from the hood, if you are shooting guns, because you never really, a family and you need to survive and you are selling drugs because you can't even get a job for three twenty five when a mcdonald's like it just is what is and then when they write that in their music there telling their truth bidding may have other people who did not stir live that life lived a life tat degree or would rather glorify the negativity or bubble by then. And you know you have this different sect of the music and once again Is it bad? It's just a perspective yeah. So you can have, positive, the negative, the nerdy that this all this other of these other things in between. I look at rock and roll and I look and I love her utter even fucking, listen to as I spent so much of my

life listening to hip hop like now. Listen a maximum go into early wine, the flaming lips- and you know just classics his rock and bob Dylan and all like. That's what I loved and took myself to a clapton concert the other night and it was so sick. I was the only time I've gone to a concert by myself and I was just like wow. Oh my god, it was fucking, awesome yeah, but that's what I mean I just love all music, and I appreciate and revere hiphop for sure, but the thing a pisses me off bout, mainstream, media, entertainment and how we, what we do with hip hop in what it was I say this is talking about the idea of clubbing. What oh hip hop is just this worry you have certain persona is that are created in in, like a sense of fallacy. Right that that isn't necessarily real, so that whatever what I'm saying is you have robbed, All rock lose rock runs rock this rock that rock, and if you take ay,

a genre of music, that's even younger than here public electronic music. You have electronic electro, techno dubstep atm like all the stuff and those have various. a glorious in sub John, especially when it comes to committees and what their deciding to Basically, what categories like go into grammy's or this or that, but we hip. That's all you have his hip entry and had never thought it up ass. It became could have the guy who's awesome super thug shit, but he's telling us is his truth and then you could have somebody like drake, who said half his arms right bad rather than you could have somebody like myself, chemical margie call you perhaps it then you can have Travis got an list so, and so it is only one fuckin category a is visiting, it's bullshit is there like,

thing within the industry calling bullshit honour and sort of asking for an idea. I didn't way just might have like opened up another day. Borceus a butcher raises says why people have for real that yeah really comes down to it comes down to urban. daddy! I just got that that like it's. Just that that's another word for saying. Oh, we gonna put the niggers right here and it's just like what kind of shit is that right is bullshit right. So for me it's never been something that I you don't really funny to aware having their sir these opinions an understanding, a certain site of culture and look white as far right it was never really a thing. You know, haven't blacked out in a white mom and look in the way that I I was always accepted by people like the internet. Such a fake ass for can place like it. It doesn't really like life in race relations, don't don't real exist that way in the real world. It's like why people rap black, for us of just like it's not really this.

But yeah. I'd go I'd, sit down and I do interviews and there they just oh. What's it like being a white rapper? What's it like being a white rapper and then I'd have to explain like no well I'm not I mean I am, but I am also lack a yak away, my dad's blackened and it becomes a whole or argument, not even a congress. agent and I'm not the one arguing about how in black or how I'm not black or how black or you are how this or how that or whatever the case may be yeah. I know it's kind of fucked up, but I never really gave a shit, and I know I never focused on it and you know it wasn't until, like my third album witches hundreds songs that I had released up into this point that I decided you know what I'm gonna, I'm not talk about it on a few songs on this album and then it was like. Oh only talks about is being by racial and he's trying to prove himself and so I see- and I just think it's really funny that you have cast a tangible, more and you know of black thought killer MIKE and all these him,

credible mcs that damn near on every song, talking about how they're black on black on black and black black is beautiful, it's so beautiful to be black and I'm like yeah, and then here I come on this one record and I'm like hey guys, I'm two things at the same time like shut the fuck up. So it's a it's it's because I am the minority. Now I mean you, you can also have people who have been upset an angry and they say things that will you don't know what it's like to walk down? The street is a black man to which I can report. Will you don't know what like to walk down. The street is a black man in a white man's body, but also ever in the day I never came at you, I'm not angry at you for having your experience in life. So why are you so angry at me for having fun with it? Really just comes down he was everybody has an opinion. Everybody wants to say something everybody wants to fight and argue for whatever I can reason- and here I am the guy who's, just yellin- peace, loving, positivity and also hey. This is my journey, here's what I went through in some people want to you down and shout at you and say that it's not writer, what's right

what's wrong with this or that all I know is. I was born into this world by a black man in a white woman who were fuckin crackheads, and alcoholics, and I made it out to spread a positive message and if that upset you don't you just go fucking? Do this film called protagonist that I wrote an star in it and I'm funding enemy, paying like two million dollars to move in a really excited sometimes, unlike man, am I really making a movie like? I can't believe it almost doesn't feel like. I am because its Alex some dude with a two thousand seven cannon like out duenna art glass felt like a yeah, their families going to what exactly this is like a real thing you know and being on set with Joseph gordon Levitt for his show. Mr corman or you know, I'm filming this weekend. It's just it's crazy, but back then, when was essentially doing what I'm doing now in film I fell. I wasn't doing shit. I was just a kid in a basement and I was constantly focusing on the future and the next.

the next thing in the next that and once I really started in the stomach every day. I love music, it's amazing, but this is the next chapter in my life, and I remember one day I was on set. apple original. I have this crazy episode and I'm in it, and I don't play some wrapper like an actor its great and I'm on satellite pan. I just wish that and I started catch myself. The same way that I was back in the basement. Thinking about a future, if I had we're fans are if I could go on tour, if I could just get a record deal or if I could is that it out whatever and I look back in these times- and I dont truly appreciate and because I wasn't as present or in the moment as I possibly could have been, because I was so focused on the what ifs or what one or the desire of or if I could one day get there, and even though I sacrificed my entire twenties and had that. Zack same mentality every year for the last fifteen years with film. I will not do that, and I have not done that and I am telling myself dude you

the base moraine now you enjoy this cause. You're, never gonna, be here again I I believe in mastering your craft and I'm a master musician right? I don't. I said I don't say that with ego I say that with confidence and just fact like I spent my entire life in her face many years and I got a party that in drink I decided that in a studio, No, it listening to beats whatever the case may be so what I see people and they're like yeah, I'm an actor singer, dancer musician. Does that, like all these things in their bio and twitter and they're, like nineteen, I'm like alright yeah, it's just kind of you know. I believe at ten thousand hours theory. I think, as much time as you put into something you're guaranteed to see that and get that back and get those results. As long as you truly are insane and a crazy person, and you make it your whole life. So you know for well over a decade I've been making music and now I can just its legal breathing. So And once again, I dont say that sound any type of waste, as I do. What I do when I do it very well yeah and

being in a round table with amazing actors. and having my heart beating out of my chest as I'm there for like this table, read right. That's something that I don't feel when I'm on stage at madison square garden sold out. I don't feel that anymore. I'm excited to be there, I'm so stoked, but I'm like yo. Let's go like this is what I do, and so I need something makes my heart ratio in that family and discuss these new endeavours? The region, How is podcast is produced by me, Rachel Hollis its did by andrew weller and jack noble.