« The Rachel Hollis Podcast

558: Can Life Get Better?

2024-02-12 | 🔗

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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Each day with gratitude and intention, you can produce incredible results. This is Start Today on the Rachel Hollis podcast. Hi guys, I'm Rach. And if this is the first time we're hanging out, it's nice to meet you. I'm glad that you're here. I am a podcaster and an author and I have spent the last 10 years writing about and speaking about things that have helped me in my life, things that have helped to make my life better. I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I've got some ideas and I hope that these ideas will be helpful for you because today we're asking a big question. We're asking, can life actually get better? Can life really improve? I got this question because I wanted to talk about my journey.
To a better life. And I should really quickly just add the idea of a better life I think can be... can throw people off because it sounds like I'm about to tell you the way to live or the right way to live or the best way to live. That's not my intention at all. I think each and every one of us has a life that would be ideal for us. So my hope is that by telling you the story of how I have tried to make my life better. Through therapy and faith, spirituality, learning to walk, learning to walk, learning to walk, to run knowledge conferences, teachers, books. Like the list is literally endless, but over the last 15 years I have fundamentally changed my life by trying out a bunch of stuff and then sharing
With you guys. I always tell my story not because I think you should follow my path, but because I hope that hearing about my path encourages you to walk down yours. So back to this big question. Life actually get better? Originally I thought I was going to call this podcast episode... Development 101 or like personal development for dummies or something silly like that but then I thought Maybe I should look and see what kinds of questions women specifically were asking YouTube already to see how they were getting to personal development as the
And the question that I saw over and over was some variation of can life ever get better? Can life really get better? I don't know if that hits you the same way it hits me but that like punches me in the stomach because I feel like each and every one of us have experienced experienced a time in our lives where we were in that kind of despair, where we were asking God, the universe, Universe, someone we loved, YouTube. Like we were asking like can this get better? So I wanted to speak to that person today because I have been that person. I am positive that you have been that person and made You are that person right now. But even if you're not in that place of hardship or feeling sort of lost or feeling despair
This is still a really good episode, I think, because I'm gonna talk about what has helped me on my journey to personal development. Like, what does that mean? What does it look like? What are the tactics? What are the things I do every day and have done for years to make my life better? And that's in all kinds of ways. All kinds of ways. Like whatever way you are imagining about how life could be better, I have worked on it. I'm pretty sure. Unless you have some very specific niche career and I've never tried to figure out how to be a pig farmer, then that's not true. I actually did. I was gonna say raise a pig, but I took care of a pig for the FFA when I was in high school, so I probably would have some ideas on pig farming.
There. What's here and there is these ideas today and I hope you'll stick with me because I think there's some real goodness here and I hope that if you find it helpful you might sharing this episode with someone in your life who might resonate with it as well. So I'm Rach, and that's what we're going to do today. So going back to this big central question, can life get better? The answer? Of course it can. Of course it can. But it won't be easy. That's the thing you already knew, but maybe needed a reminder of right now. 100 million percent, with everything I know to be true inside of me. Your life is better. Can get better. But the road to make it better is not easy. And any one of us, including you, if you're in a--
season right now even you have examples of times in your life where things have improved and you also can probably equate that improvement to some Strategic moves that you made or some intentional habits that you started. There are things that you did that made you better even if all... All you did that made you better was repetition, was doing it over and over. And you know how to drive a car, you didn't start out that way. The first time that I drove my mom's Plymouth Acclaim when I was 16... Years old or 15 years old getting my permit, I drove at 10 and 2 with my hand shaking and I... Terrified that I was gonna kill everybody. I was gonna like run over pedestrians. You're so terrified when you get behind the wheel. Now I gotta... Minivan I will roll that like I will drive that thing with my left knee while
Handing a sippy cup to my daughter and screaming at my son and like getting the dog off something like, you could drive with your toes. Needed to at this point. But that's not how you started. Most of us don't start out with some magnificent, genius knowledge of how to do anything. You have ever improved your life is through repetition, you have to hold space for the fact that you know life can be improved. Yeah? With that knowledge I want to ask you a question. And my goal with this question is to give you a different perspective than you thought, maybe, of working on yourself and working on your life. Okay, so here's the big question. I want you to think about... An amount of money. Now I know it's like ridiculous finances. Why does everything have to be about money? Because if you've ever been broke and you're
working more than one job and you don't know how to pay your rent or your phone just got shut off like I mean, so many of us have been there. If you've ever been in that state, then finance is a real-- Really easy thing to reach for because I think, I don't know that I have a ton of people in my community who are like, trust fund kids, maybe you are, hey. Girl. But assuming that most of us have experienced financial hardship in our life, finance is just an easy one. If for some reason you don't want to do it with finance, choose another topic, but just go with this question with me for one second. I want you to think of an amount of money. That I'm going to write you a check for. 18 months from now, I'm going to knock on your door like Ed McMahon. I'm going to give you a giant check for this amount of money. And that amount of money is going to make your life minimum 10 times better. Minimum.
Give you an amount of money that you believe will make your life 10 times better. Just your life, your family's life, your work life, your business. If you have one, this magical unicorn. McMahon if you're not in the US you don't know what that means it was this clearinghouse like big check thing did knock on people's you just won a million dollars or whatever. That's what's going to happen. Your girl Rach showing up at your house with a giant check 18 months from today. What's the number? What's the number that you believe would actually... Change things for you. Okay, once you think of that number in your head. Now just for funsies let's say a million dollars because that's an easy round number. A million dollars 18 months from today life's going to get 10 times better. Yeah? Okay. Almost every morning of my life, I have oatmeal.
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Guaranteed in writing giving you that amount of money. Okay. This is our deal I am going to do this in this dream scenario. I'm not actually giving you money. #disclaimer. #imnotthatfancy. Dream scenario, I'm showing up, it's a guaranteed, but it will take 18 months. And it will take 18 months of hard work. In order to get this thing that's going to make your life 10 times better, I'm going to give you a list Things you got to do all the time, habits you've got to adopt, things you don't really want to do but that you know are good for you. Your body, you're gonna drink some water, you're gonna have more greens, you're gonna take in some protein, you're gonna see a nutritionist, you're gonna see your therapist, you're gonna work on your heart, you're gonna work on your faith, Do all of this stuff that you know will be better for you. Hard though. I don't wanna get this twisted.
This is not go walk to the end of the block. This is like, you're going to have to push yourself. And every single time that you get to a new level in whatever I've asked you to do, you got to level up again. 18 months you're gonna see tiny little glimmers of your financial future okay It's going to start really small and very rarely. After you do it for a few weeks or a month, you're going to find $20 as you're walking down the street, OK, just a little extra something. You're like, oh, this is exciting. $20, look at me go. And then after another month, surprise, surprise. You overpaid on your taxes and you get $500. You start to see glimmers of tiny bits of the life But it will be slow and it will be rare and every single time you level up on this journey you will have to work harder but remember it's a guaranteed
At the end of the 18 months I'm showing up with a million dollars. Would you commit to do it? If you knew 100% in a year and a half you get a check for a million dollars tax-free Hell yes I don't know anyone who is not willing to agree to do that, especially knowing that the tasks they're going to do every single day are good for them. Okay? So if you knew that you would have this massive payoff 18 months from now guaranteed, but it will require hard work, dedication, doing things that are good for you, I mean you see where this is going right guys? Because working on yourself is the same exact way. You are garr- guaranteed a massive payoff 18 months from now probably
Sooner, but for sure 18 months from now, if you commit. I just want to say this because personal development has like a lot of weird, like, there's just a lot of weird con- Around that word. I even googled it because I was just kind of curious what people say about it and what they talk. All of that stuff, there's weirdness. I just want to go ahead and like alleviate the pressure. Sometimes I have to say this when I'm having these conversations with you guys. There is no sales pitch at the end of this. As I'm speaking, I'm like, This sounds like a... Of this I'm gonna tell you that I have a thing you can buy that nope I'm literally nothing to sell you, nothing to sell you, just ideas to share. So in case you're like, I don't even want to watch this, this girl's adorable. In her overalls but obviously it's leading... nope, nothing to sell. So we can all rest easy that...
Unfortunately, the only things I'm going to tell you about today are not quick fixes, which oftentimes an idea to sell you would be. So back to this. Working on yourself is the same way. If you commit for 18 months... For 12 months. Hell, if you commit for three months, you guys, to work... On yourself I swear to you you will not believe the before and after I'm I mean, everyone loves a before and after photo, right? You love like, oh, this person went on a diet or this person started running or. Person you know join the gym or whatever we love an extreme makeover we love to see the before and after I
Telling you it actually takes way less time than you think if you are committed to seeing massive change in your life. So when you hear that term personal development don't let it like brush over you don't allow your eyes to glaze over. Just use whatever words feel good feel energizing to you like I'm working on myself I'm trying to become a better version of me I'm trying to be a better daddy These kids. I'm trying to be a better sister, a better friend, a better mama, a better leader. Use whatever... Language feels good to you, but hold awareness that the practice of working On ourselves has been a part of humanity since Jump Street. If humans were not evol-
to better themselves and their lives we would not have fire we would not have the wheel we would not have Taylor Swift? Like we would not have these essential things in the human experience if we were not trying to be better. Do you think that if humans didn't care about personal evolution we would have gone from bad reputation to lover to folklore? No way! I thought Bad Reputation was a fantastic album by the the way. And then she was shunned by the Grammys. As seen in Miss Americana. She could have quit right there. She could have fallen off the face of the earth. You know what your girl did? She said, I'm gonna go make a better album. That scene is so hard to watch in the documentary 'cause you also really wanna give her a hug. So you're like, you're pushing too hard. You're in Enneagram 3 for sure. That's neither here nor there.
My point is, Taylor Swift is the only person I have ever heard of who is making a gajillion dollars billions of dollars on a world tour and said, you know what? Also my new album comes out in April. How excited are we? My point is, since the beginning, we have been working on ourselves in different ways. It's not possible for you to improve. I'm not even talking about Swifty kind of improvement. I'm just talking about could you feel better in your body? Could you love yourself? Could you practice some self-care? Could you add more greens to your life? Could you make amends with your sister? Simple things that you can do that would make the quality of your life better and we've been doing it since the beginning. Go back and study the history of personal development. The first time we hear it really talked about in--
Similar ways to how we would hear it today would be back when the Stoics were around. Aristotle 2,000 years ago talking about the virtues that made life better, that made life worth living. If you want to go even further back... If you want to pull some spirituality into this, let's talk about sixth century BC. What up, Buddha? Let's figure out what that is in our lives. It goes all the way back. And I know many of you grew up in-- environments like I did. I grew up in the Pentecostal Church and I know a bunch of you grew up in different religions and practiced different things, It's very common in religion to talk about how can we become better? How can we do better? How can we love more? How can we be kinder? How can we show up for Neighbor. These are really common themes. So don't
Miss the opportunity inside of this self-work and the self-reflection because you think it doesn't apply to you. I think it's easy to understand why maybe it doesn't always feel like it applies to us as women. There are some dudes watching or listening. Thank you for being part of this community. I love you. I love you, but As women we were not shown model of what it looked like. I mean inside of our own family systems I think very rarely we were shown examples of Women who were allowed the time to work on themselves. Think of your mama, think of your grandmother, think of your great grandma if you knew her. Not one of mine on either side, like they didn't... the idea of her taking time to
Or know herself is so alien to be laughable. And if you go back with each subsequent decade, if you're trying to like build a home and like raise your kids, and survive like a lot of our ancestors were. Where were we? Going to see the model of what it looked like to work on yourself? In fact, I think women are most often shown working on themselves in terms of how we look, changing our body, changing our hair, here's the makeup, here's the outfit. You can work on your... All day long on the outside and doesn't mean jack all if you're not changing what's going on on the inside. But we didn't have examples of that. And when personal development started to become more mainstream... Even then, the teachers in the space were all men, and they were talking to men.
And they were using language and vernacular that was aimed at men. So the first... First, oh. Awareness I have of ideas that are now part of like modern personal development would have been Napoleon Hill. Would have been Napoleon Hill back in the 1930s. Iconic book called Think and Grow Rich. Look it up. Been around since the 1930s. It was the first American-- That I know of who tried to explain What today a lot of people would call the law of attraction or manifesting. That Napoleon Hill interviewed all of these really successful men and I'm talking it's the 30s so think of like
the Rockefellers and whoever else was rich in the 1930s. Like you know the guy in Monopoly with the monocle, like that's who he's talking to. So Napoleon Hill goes and talks to all of these people. And basically says, How did you do this? These were not, by the way, people who came for money. These were self-made men who just had all the financial success. And he goes to them and you do this. And he starts acquiring all of these stories and in acquiring of these stories, he starts to find similarities. Wow, they all do these things. Visualization was a huge thing. Every person he talked to said some version of I can see it in my mind, I think about it over and over. They all talked about focus, some of them
Their goals down every day, which is why we write them down in our journal, guys. There were all of these things that he compiled to write this book. Can grow rich. And if you're listening to that and you're like, well, why does everything have to be about money? Like even back in the 30s, we're talking about money because The US was inside of the Great Depression. So we were experiencing one of the most significant financial experiences. Had had. People were lining up for soup and bread, they were living in shanty towns, people lost their jobs, the market had crumbled like it was awful. So it made me feel like I was It makes sense that if this average dude got access to all of these very successful people and he asked them, How did you do this? That compiling the information in a way that would potentially help other Americans to pull themselves into the
to the next evolution, like that might be really helpful. It just so happens that all. These years later, that book is still massively successful. Now, It's worth reading. If you're interested in that kind of stuff at all, it's worth reading. I always think it's a little bit-- It hasn't been edited for modern times, so you have to go into it with a grain of salt. But I think it should be just, we should all have read that book at some point. Point. So 1930s, you see Napoleon Hill, 1960s, you see Napoleon Hill, 1960s, you see Napoleon, The Earl Nightingale, if you guys aren't familiar. I'm just geeked, let me just geek out on history for one quick second. You can fast forward if you don't care. Earl Nightingale radio personality made these vinyl. He put it, I think it's probably the first time anyone put like motivation or inspiration on vinyl. And they're really iconic. You should find them. They're worth listening to. The thing I think is so cool about humans working on themselves is
Napoleon Hill saying the same stuff as Earl Nightingale, saying the same stuff as Aristotle, like, throughout-- We're all saying the same stuff. That's why I'm so passionate about this subject because there's no Nothing new. There's no new ideas here. There might be new tactics and ways to approach them. You know, now we know about broccoli sprouts, but it's not new ideas. It's just new applications of those ideas. And that makes me feel like this is really solid footing. This is like some proven stuff. Work on. So you've got Earl Nightingale in the 60s, then you see like Jim Rohn, some of my favorite Time some stuff I bet you say that you don't realize are Jim Rohn quotes are Jim Rohn quotes you've got Les Brown you've got Tony Robbins incredible amazing teachers but they're dudes they're all dudes so not only do we as women not have a
Examples seeing our mamas or aunties or anyone in our life who's doing these things, but we also don't have that look like us. And that is what got me into being a keynote speaker back in the day. Was never seeing a woman on stage. I never saw a woman on stage. I was so pumped to learn and to go to college. And to listen to motivational talks. I literally cannot tell you a woman who there's not a woman on my list. So I had no example of that as a woman and definitely not as a mama because you and I both know if you have kids that working on yourself takes on a whole other layer. Now you've got all these people counting on you, you've got responsibilities, there's Just more to it. And even those of you who don't have kids but are part of a family that, you know,
help out at home or you're trying to work your way through college like I just feel like there are these added layers that make it not impossible But certainly more challenging. And if you don't have a teacher who is including how it's challenging for you, then it doesn't feel like it applies. And let me just take this moment to say for the millionth time. If you're resonating with this idea and you do work similar to me, you're an author, you have a podcast, you have a YouTube channel, or you... Of having those things, please do it. Please do this work. Most especially if you don't look like the people who are already doing this work.
Because I can only tell my story and some of the greatest teachers in this space, Jim Rohn or Tony Robbins or less, like they can only tell their version of the story. They only know their worldview. And that worldview is so helpful to so many people, but your worldview is also helpful to so many people. So, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, Please, if you needed a sign from the universe, let this be it. Now let's get back to it. That 41% of girls quit sports by the age of 14 or that Most common reason is fear that they don't look the right way to be an athlete. Body confidence and keep her playing the sports she loves. Dove and CVS have developed tools and resources to help you have this important pep talk.
Dot com to learn more and find all the products with the trusted care of Dove to boost her self-esteem on and off the field. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage. Of your business. With the Internet's best converting checkout, 36% better on average compared to other leading commerce platforms, Shopify helps you turn browsers into buyers. In fact, Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the US. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com/podcastfree, all lowercase Shopify.com/podcastfree. Slash podcast free Shopify.com slash podcast free. I Teacher in this space or communicator in this space because I didn't see examples that looked like me. But I didn't start my personal development journey as a teacher. Woo!
I started my personal development journey as... Oh Oh wow, just a mess, really. Just really struggling. And it's important to say that to you. Because if you started our conversation today by clicking on a title, Can Life Get Better? in a place where you feel like a mess too. I think most of us... A journey of self-work when we feel messy, when we're at a crossroads, when it feels hard, when we know what to do next when we're stuck. That's when we start. I don't know anybody who was like, Life was awesome and I wanted it to-- More awesome. Like everyone I know who started doing the unpacking on why they did what they did, it started from a place of pain.
Personal development, working on yourself, self-work, whatever words you want to use, by my definition, is working on your whole self one part at a time. That's what it is. It's working on one area of self-worth. Of your life at a time and that one area becoming better makes all of it better. There's this... Expression that says, When the tide comes into the harbor, when the tide comes in, all the boats in the harbor rise. When the tide comes in, all the boats in the harbor rise. In. Working on ourselves is the tide coming in. When you work on one area and that one area gets better, I swear to you, you...
Will be shocked at the ripple effects of that one area. OK, I hope I've sold you, or at least given you a history lesson, on this idea of working on yourself. Now, of course, because I'm your girl and I'm all about the ideas, the advice, the like, hey, try this. I've got to give you just a few things that you can do. To make life better. We can't just tell you life's gonna get better. I'd also love to give you some ideas on how to do that. And as always, these are just what worked for me. So If you hear all my ideas and you're like, Those are trash, well, that feels a little harsh, but okay. It because this is your life not mine and in your life you don't have to dig my ideas but maybe
Ideas just help you figure out your own. The first thing that you are going to do to make life better, to work on yourself, to start your personal development journey. Number one, find an area of tension. It's my favorite expression. Start with an area of tension. Okay, Rach, what the heck does that mean? What's an area of tension? That sounds too fancy. What are you? What are these words? Let me tell it to you like on back of-- Grandma's house or just like breaking it down real... we're just gonna... we're gonna focus on what's hard. That's what my grandma would say. What's hard? What feels hard. That's the most basic that I can get on this idea. What? in your life feels hard. Or perhaps you hear that and you're like, actually, everything feels hard. It all feels hard. Okay, what feels
Hardest. What is an area of your life? This could be a particular moment in your day, part of your schedule. Maybe it's a bigger thing. Maybe it's finances. Maybe it's your health. Maybe it's the relationship you have with someone. Maybe you're at a job that you hate. What is the hardest area of your life? We're going to... To start there. I told you my journey into personal development started when I was in a really messy place. And if I could go back in the day, I would-- told you this was my hard spot. This was my area of tension. It's where things felt really tense and it was as me as an adult experiencing anxiety for the first time. Now I was interviewing someone on the podcast today and she was saying she's going through menopause and inside of menopause for the first time she started to experience anxiety and...
The bummer about anxiety is if you didn't have it already, you kind of think, Well, it couldn't happen to me. But our bodies are constantly changing. Life is changing. Things are happening. Want it to or not, you might find yourself in the middle of an experience you did not plan for, you have no experience with, and therefore where you have no tools to help you get past it, which is where I was. I was a young mother, had two little boys, I had a full-time job. And I was having really bad anxiety, like debilitating. And at first I didn't really know even what I was feeling. Now I could tell you how that manifested. My body, I would feel jittery, I'd get sick to my stomach, I would feel this...
Overall tension throughout my body and I would have this overwhelming feeling that something bad was going to happen. Something bad was going to happen. And I didn't know what to do with that feeling. Out a lack of any other ideas, I drank wine. And I drink wine because I didn't really know I was having anxiety, I just know I didn't feel very good. And then if I had a little bit of boxed wine when I came home from work, I would feel better. Like mellow out and I will feel really good. But you and I both know how this goes. Two wine, by the way, as a solution to this problem. Number one, wine is filled with sugar, which would then make my heart race, which would then make me feel more anxious. I didn't know this at the time, I just keep drinking. A glass of wine can only work for so long and then you need a glass and a half and then you need two glasses and then I found myself waking up every day with a hangover. And I didn't know any mamas of toddlers who woke up every day with a hangover.
So now I have Shame, let's just add Shame to the mix, and it just became this self-help filling cycle I had no idea how to break out of, and I felt really confident that I was gonna get to the place where I needed medication to calm myself down. And I want you to hear me. I believe in people taking the medicine that they need. I believe in it so deeply. I had a brother who had very severe mental health issues who did not take his medicine, and he is no longer with us. Because the illness won. So take your freaking meds. But I knew the kind of medicine that they would want to put me on and I had seen Other women in my family take benzos and I had seen didn't make them better didn't make them better and
a lot of ways it made their life harder and so I was pretty terrified of that. And I gotta tell you guys at the time, like now I would have all of these tools and ideas and I know so much more about health and nutrition and but I didn't have any of that. I just knew that I'm having this realization for the first time I'm connecting this. My younger self, she didn't know that. But like, my intuition knew that. I love this idea, you guys have maybe heard me talk about it on the podcast. I'm obsessed with this idea that... Our intuition is actually just ourself at like 80.
Just like our 80-year-old self who like knows everything and is wise and is calm and like knows that it's really not that big a deal, like what if that actually is your intuition? I can't go down that rabbit hole right now. Focus. My point is that I had this intuition that there might be a way to handle my anxiety without needing medication. Again, I had no examples of this and this is a long time ago. So now there's so much information about mental health, anxiety, getting treatment assistance, like all of this stuff, you go on TikTok and find a Billion things that will help you on the journey, but I did not have that back in the day. I just had this belief. That there might be a better way. And so I got this idea. I know that I'm always like a little embarrassed telling this part of the story because it just is so silly.
Thinking, Well, I learned about business by reading books. I wonder if there are any books on anxiety? And obviously there were, but I didn't know it at the time. So I get all these ideas. Stop drinking so much caffeine every day. Start Daily exercise and movement to lower your cortisol level. Look at the areas of stress in your life. Go back to therapy. And one by one, I just started trying stuff. Stuff. And as I started trying stuff, stuff started working. I started to feel better. And feeling better motivated me to try a little bit different, and then do this, and then take that idea on. But it began with a single area of tension.
I felt like I had made really incredible gains with my anxiety battle. That felt so dang good that I was like, Could I apply the same strategy to another area of tension in my life? Yeah. You totally can. So I'm going to tell you how to do that. Step one is identify the area that you want to work on. That's your area of tension. Step two is work the area. Focus in on that one spot and work the area. And I would love, because I love like little ideas or symbols or things that can help us to remember to do. The next time you're experiencing Moment of tension and you're like, I'm so sick of this. I have--we have gone through this 10 times already. Why do I keep cycling in the same place? Why do I always come back to this area of tension?
happens, you get to take your pick. I'm gonna give you three song choices I want you to hear in your head when this happens. Or sing out loud or blast on your phone as an anthem, as a freaking anthem for you are gonna work on this area. Your three choices are obviously Work Bitch by Britney Spears, which just in case we can't get the rights to play a little bit of those songs. You know it you want a hot body. You want a Bugatti you want a Maserati you better work, bitch goes like that I sound just like her I know the song you can choose work by Rihanna work work work work work
I don't know what that word is. I'm just realizing right now work work work work work So no no no no work work work work work done on a member when she performed at the Super Bowl while pregnant Okay, third song is Obviously work it by Missy Elliott. Is it worth it? Let me work it put me thing down flippin em reverse it it's your feminine put down blamp you know what we don't even need the recorded song my version It's worth it. Oh God, I'm cool. The next-- Time you have an area of tension that shows up and you feel undiscouraged I want you to on one of those three songs, dance it out, and commit to working the area.
The third thing you're going to do is an acronym I just made up called KEEP. K-E-E-P. Did anyone who grew up in central California go to Camp KEEP? Anyone? Just me. Was that a Bakersfield thing? I don't know. It was magical. I still have all the songs. Stuck in my head. Live Oak, Live Oak. Ooh, baby, let your xylophone flow. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a nature camp for sixth graders. Back to it, keep. We're gonna keep. Here's what those letters stand for. K, knowledge. E, energy. E, environment. People. Allow me to explain. When you find an area you want to work on, you get to
These four things, all of these four things, run it down the list, do them alphabetical, do them in a different order, up to you. Number one, you're going to look for knowledge around Guys, this is any area of your life. Any area. Keep works for any area. Knowledge in business, in health, in nutrition, in Ailment in your body that you are currently fighting against the struggles you have with your faith the the struggles you have to find a partner, to build the business, like everything you can apply this to. Look for knowledge. The ways that I find knowledge are in books, so I will... Pick a certain topic, let's say it's a nutrition thing that I'm trying to figure out.
Start doing research. I usually will go to Google or I'll even go to Amazon because it'll rank books based on what is most popular and I'll type in the subject. Amazon does a really good job of you can type in something random and it'll serve you books but I'll look for books on the subject you can get Those books listed on Amazon and then go check them out at the library. But I like to read books. I like to listen to podcasts. I like to watch YouTube. Videos. I like to do online research. But one of the steps that you can take to working the area of tension is to gain more... Knowledge is honestly my favorite thing on this list because knowledge gives you gives you a ton of possibilities to choose from, but best thing about knowledge is that it gives me confidence. I feel more confident
If an expert in nutrition tells me that I should be taking these three supplements to help balance my hormones. I feel better about that than if I just took advice from Aunt Linda. I love Aunt Linda, but she doesn't always know best. So knowledge is a great one. I use it over and over. And to be honest, it's usually always where I start. First thing you can do, look for knowledge. The second E, energy. Now, if you've ever been to one of my conferences-- Back in the day. We do love a women's conference guys. I do these conferences called Rise. If you know, you know. But there is a big part of the conference where we dance. My friend Asan is a DJ, and since the very first conference, Asan has come and he plays music throughout the day. At every break he plays music.
You come in in the morning, he plays music, and we dance. We move our bodies a lot. And whenever people would see 5,000 women in an arena or 10,000 women in arena dancing they'd be like what is Crazy call like what are these people doing I find it so bananas because you would never say that to a bunch of people at a concert who are dancing or a bunch of people at a party or a bunch of people at a wedding, but if you put 5,000 women working on themselves in a room, it really freaks out. Devil, but just, you know, anyone on the internet. But we very intentionally always had movement, dancing, stretching, jumping up and down as part of the conference because my favorite line is... When you move your body, you change your mind.
When you move your body somatically, you're working things out, you're moving your body, you literally change what is happening chemically in your mind, especially if you're dealing with feelings of stress, anxiety. If your cortisol levels get out of control, moving your body is an incredible tool to change what's going on inside of you. And you, I hope, know me well enough to know I'm some hippie woo-woo over here. You did not think you were getting advice from girl in overalls, and I wasn't gonna throw some hippie vibes your way, energy is one of-- The greatest things that you can change to change the quality of your life, to change the experience that you're having, to change the area of tension. And this one is especially powerful to get yourself to a state of belief about something being possible. I say that because
It's really easy when you're motivated to feel like you can make change but it's pretty freaking hard to Be motivated all of the time. And when you're not feeling motivated or when you feel like life just kicked your butt, Literally changing your energetic state makes you feel more hopeful makes you feel happy makes you feel excited I give you three song choices to choose from you might have your own version of that. But understand that changing your energy is a huge hack to your belief that you are capable of changing My examples of changing your energy are moving your body, so you're literally changing the energy and the flow inside of your body, meditation and prayer. Meditation and prayer. All of those things can energetically change the overall vibe of what you've got going on. The next E.
Is environment. Environment. The environment that you are inside of can give you the keys, the support that you need, the help, the idea. The belief system, your environment can be massively influential. And your ability to work that area of tension until it is no longer an issue. So environment to me are routines and rituals. This is where you personally create an environment that... Can allow you to make change. Routines and rituals, guys. Consistency is everything. It's literally everything. It's you doing it over and over and over again. Yes, it's boring. Yes, it's changing. You can't feel it. It's Little bit at a time. Routine and ritual is you creating your own
Environment to have success inside of and those are small little success, small little wins along the way that you do over and over that add up to really big Environments are the routines and rituals you create for yourself. They're also environments that other people create. So I freaking love a conference! Said it once, I've said it a million times. I love a conference, I love attending conferences, business conferences, writing conferences, personal development conferences. I'll go to a conference about cosplay. About botany. I just love hanging out with people who are passionate about something, and at a conference... They're usually like the smartest people about that topic in the room. So it's this great way to learn about something you're trying to work on. Inside the energy of... remember there's that word again... energy...
Of the energy of all these people who are pumped about it. So it's like this great atmosphere to make really substantial change. I love a conference! Another opportunity for that is clubs. Joining a club, like if you were training for your first marathon you like I don't know the statistics so I'm gonna make them up let's say two billion times more likely to finish the marathon if you join a running club you've got You've got wisdom and information in a club. You've got people who are living a certain life. Style within the club. I would also say churches, religious organizations, same kind of thing, that you're going into an environment that is helping you to make change. The last one P K-E-E-P. People. People in your life are a huge opportunity to make change because people can help us. Now, side note.
People can also hurt us. I told you about Jim Rohn earlier. One of his most famous quotes is, We are the combination of the five people we spend the most time with. So if you're struggling with a certain area of your life, perhaps the first place you start is by looking at the people in your life. Who are these people in your life? And how are they affecting the way that you see the world around you and the way that you see what's possible. But people can also be huge supporters. These are teachers, these are therapists, maybe this is The exact nutritionist that's gonna help you figure out this plan that's gonna make you feel better. Maybe it's a doctor, it's anybody in a potential support Role in your life that has knowledge you need to make change. And here's the thing y'all, here is the thing. thing. The knowledge exists. The knowledge exists, okay?
Are facing, I don't care who you are, where you are, how much money you have, whatever you are facing in this life, there is an answer. Is a solution. And the reason I know this is true, I've given this example before, but think of it like this. Imagine like a giant circle, okay? I'm gonna draw a giant circle on a page. And I'm going to hand you the page, and I'm going to say, hey, Sarah. Hey, Becky. Hey, Tom. This giant circle that I just drew on the page, guys, it represents all of the knowledge in the history of Earth. Every single thing, every single human being, and those... Orcas because they clearly are smart, they know things we don't know. Every single being on this planet, all of the knowledge, is represented by this big
Now I'm going to hand you this paper, and I want you to put a circle inside the circle that represents how much knowledge you personally have in the... In the giant circle of all the knowledge in the world since the beginning of the universe. What is the circle that represents how much knowledge you have? Now unless you're an egomaniac, you're probably going to put a circle the size of a pinprick. Touch the paper. Because you are smart enough to understand that if you are considering all of the knowledge in the history of the universe, what you personally possess is probably quite small. Now if you are willing to admit that you hold a very small amount of knowledge. That isn't it also true that in all All of the area that's left in the circle might be your solution, your answer that you
Might be in all of the area that's left over. The knowledge is out there. The answer is out there. The teacher is out there. Friend group is out there. The solution is out there. It's out there. It's out there of acquiring the knowledge and doing the work to make your life better. That is the answer to the question. Yes, of course life can get better, but you are the only person who can make your life better. Nobody is coming to save you. Your mom is not going to save you, your partner, I don't care how much you love them or how much they love you. There is no mythical superhero that is coming to rescue you.
You, you are the hero of this story. And every single hero I have ever read about has had to fight some freaking dragons to save the princess. Yeah? So just because it's hard, just because you failed, just because you're not sure, just because it didn't work ten times previously does not mean it can't work this time. Yes, life can get better. And yes, you are the one to make it so. I'm really grateful that you guys hung around to the end of the
episode. I hope that I gave you some information that you dug and if you did please please please consider sharing this. All of our content will always be available for free and we would just so appreciate it if you'd help get it out in the world. I'm Rachel. I'll be back soon with more information and until then as always I love you and I'm rooting for you. Podcast is produced by me, Rachel Hollis. It's edited by Andrew Weller and Jack Noble. Did you know that 41% of girls quit sports by the age of 14? The most common reason is fear that they don't look the right way to be an athlete.
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Transcript generated on 2024-02-13.