« RISE podcast

57: The Lie - Something Else Will Make Me Happy

2018-08-14

In honor of our August Book Club of Girl Wash Your Face I wanted to share the audio version of Chapter One from the book narrated by me. In this chapter I talk about a lie that I know most of us have suffered with "Something Else Will Make Me Happy." My hope is that by sharing my honest stories as a working mother, former foster parent, and a woman who has had all kinds of insecurities about my body and my relationship, is that it will spur other women to live with passion and hustle to awaken their slumbering goals. Enjoy this gift of the Second Chapter! For the rest of Girl, Wash Your Face click this link---------> amzn.to/2qSzmjj Follow Rachel Hollis on Instagram--> www.instagram.com/msrachelhollis/ Join the Book Club-->thechicsite.com/email/

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey guys. It's reach our houses, and I'm here is my friend, Trent Shelton was a rigid I live in the dream. Man, you tell listeners why we're hanging out together right now we're going. because we're launching my new podcast straight up and I'm supermax seller add if you guys you're, not already familiar attract. He as millions and millions of fans all around the globe who come to him for a very meek style of coaching yeah, really rights are. The point is really I can put it. From the heart and break it. Do those native mindsets breakin through of withholding you back in Mostar. We have people's lives for love that so you guys, want here more you're, already listening on a podcast platform, go subscribe to straight up with Trent Shelton Short: let's go, let's go.
One of the cruellest things that I get to see as part of my job is the manifestation of the product or products that I dreamed up and created and figured out how to do like. So many of you as a business owner, you get these ideas in your head and it is incredible to get to watch them come to fruition, and I started dreaming about one of our most popular products thus start today journal. I start dreaming about this. A couple of years ago I had been doing this daily practice based on several different people. I had heard about several different things and I'm gonna put them together into one daily practice, which was every single day. I wrote down the dreams I had for my life, but I wrote them as if they had already happened. There's something really powerful about claiming a goal as if it's already done, and I wrote down every day- and it was how I set my intentions and then I would post about it on social, and so many people are like what are you doing? What is that? Where do I get that journal? And I was like guys: it's not a journal, it's just a notebook, I'm just riding down the same thing every single day, but what I think is interesting, as business owners or creators is often times. In fact, most of the time your audience will tell you what it wants from you and I kept pushing it off because I was like you guys. This is not a big deal, but it was, and people kept asking for, and I finally just thought what if I turn this into a product and I started to dream and plan- and I literally taped pictures to the wall of my office, of what I dreamed that my journey.
would look like in the intention behind it, and I wanted the covers to be really pretty, and I wanted it to be something that you could do once a quarter and then, as you completed, each journal you'd have a stack of this evidence of how intentional you were about your life and we figured it out, and I mean you know some times we messed up on the shipping and sometimes we rest up on the interior, but we failed our way to where we are today, which is the start today journal in the hands of hundreds of thousands of people. So incredible such a blessing for me to be able to go on Instagram and see hashtag start today journal and see people all over the world using this practice as a way to aim in the direction of their dreams. So if you are not familiar- and you want to check it out, you can go over to the Hollis code. Dot com forward, slash shop and find out all about my favorite practice turned my favorite product and, if you're not in the market, to buy. Remember that episode. Seventy two of this podcast gives you the exact step by step so that you can do it in whatever no
look? You have laying around for free you not to buy a product, but you should be doing this daily practice. It will literally literally change your life Welcome to the rise podcast, I'm Rachel Hollis and I built a multi million dollar media company with a high school diploma, and a Google search bar each week will be sharing tangible direct advice or inspiring interviews with the same intention. These the tools to change your life. Have you felt like if you only have the perfect job, the perfect partner, the perfect car that you would be happy. Have you ever considered Sunday when I get married, then I'll be happy. Some day when I have a baby, then I'll be happy, have ever made your happiness dependent on thing happening that
is a lie. tell ourselves and it can be deeply damaging. Because then we are holding out for a future that could years away or might never happened at all in This week's rise podcast. I wanted to bring you an exclusive from the audio book of girl, wash your face and the lie. Some else will make me happy, I hope you enjoy it chapter one lie Something else will make me happy, he'd, my pants last week, not full on Pierre, my pants, like that one time summer camp when I was ten years old, we were plain capture the flag and I couldn't hold it a second longer. I do. want to admit that I just wet my pants, so I doused myself with a bottle of water. Imagine if you will at once. All of my clothes were wet. No one moment
specially Christian Clark, my camp crush, the wiser. I was restored for even then did others find it odd that I was suddenly soaking wet. Probably but I'd rather be an oddball than a pan sweater any day of the week, as for last week, this wasn't that level of paying my pants This was just your regular I've put three babies out of my body dribbling, giving first to a baby is like a space shuttle launch S, everything gets destroyed on the way out. It means that sometimes you guys I pay my pants. If this knowledge hurts your tender sensibilities, then I'm going to assume you haven't, had bladder control problems and I I offer you my congratulations, however, if I experienced makes sense to you. Then you Probably have this problem too. which means you just laughed a little, having sperience dissimilar predicament. I was
dumping with my boys out back and somebody hollered for me to show off a mid air toe touch them. This is my only known skill on a trampoline, and I'm going to work up the gumption to hoist myself onto that spring loaded death trap. You better. Believe, I'm going to give it my all one cent I was soaring through the air like one of those extra tiny gals. They launch into basket tosses during a cheerleading competition and then ex moment. My pants were wet. Nobody noticed unless you can. My pride, but it happened. Just the same. Keep jumping so that the continuous, when rash, would dry out my shorts. I must We all remember. The timing was proof faction too, because not thirty minutes later a previously programme, facebook posed went up showing me trying on dresses for the Oscars. you got the wrong impression. I am not fancy enough to go to the academy awards,
I am, however, Mary to someone ultra hunky he's. Not they fancy either by Job certainly is. That means that sometimes I get where dresses like a princess and drink free wine and well let ball rooms. In these instances, Photoshop on Instagram or Facebook of us looking well coughed and alter glam, and the that goes wild this, is prime real estate for people to write me notes about how glamorous my life is stylish and fashionable and perfect. My world must be an all I Think when I read those commons later, is I've just I myself in public, surrounded by other human beings,. I have a literally gone to the bathroom in the air. Trying to force my hands strings into unnatural gymnastics positions in order to him, here s. My three year old yell
I'm about as on glamorous as you can get, and I don't mean that in a celebrity stars are just like us kind of way. This is not that time that Gwen it went, make a free and with her perfect, and and her angel blonde hair tried to convince us that she was just a regular gal, even in her four hundred dollars. T shirt. No, I mean this literally. I am not glamorous. I am thousand percent, one of the nervous people, your likely to meet If I've somehow managed to convince you otherwise, because I run a lifestyle website with pretty pictures or because my hair looks extra shiny on interim, sometimes well sister let me set you straight I am not a perfect wife not occur; mother, not a perfect friend or boss and most definitely not a perfect Christian. Not even close. I am
Perfect at anything I do well, except from king and eating dishes that are primarily cheese based the other stuff. The light stuff, o girl, on struggling, I feel like it port and to say that import enough to base an entire book around the idea. In fact, because I want make sure you hear it. I am so incredibly flawed and big ways and small ways and sideways and beside ways, and I make a living, tell Other women, how to better their lives me The work on regimens and die white skin brightening scrub me with tips on cooking Thanksgiving dinner and itemised lists of how to parent. Your kids me I am failing all the time
hey, aren't next. Women's conference is only a few weeks away and if you have never attended before this is the events that will change your life rise is a three day: women's personal development conference, where we laughed until we pay our pans, and we talked about- are things that we cry and we find community and we create the road map to changing our lives or our businesses or whatever it is that you're working on. If you want to find out more your curious, what it's all about, I highly recommend you go check out the instagram and see what our community says. You can hear it straight from them. It's at: let's rise, dot, co and, if you're looking for the next one, it's happening in Toronto on March this through the seventh that's Toronto March. This, through the seventh check up all the details at the Hollis cold dot com. If you have been looking for a nudge, if you have been looking for something to kick start change, I promise this is the thing this.
is important, because I want you to understand my sweet, precious friend that all falling short even though I fail over and over and over again, I dont want deter me. I still up every day, and try again to become a better version of myself. some days. I feel as if I'm getting closer to the best version of me other days I cream cheese for dinner, but the If of life, is that we get another chance to Morrow. Somewhere, along the way, women got the wrong information or I would say we so much of the wrong information that we wash our hands of the whole thing, We live in an all or nothing society. That says I need to look act, think and speak perfectly or throw in the towel and stop trying altogether. that's what I worry about the most that use
top trying. I get notes from readers and see thousands of comments on my social media feeds. Some of you, also so by your life that you ve given up piece of jet, some being tugged along with the tide those too hard to keep up with the game. So you ve quit playing ocean you're still here. you still show up for work is still dinner and take care of your kids, but you're. All he's playing catch up. You all waste feel behind and overwhelmed life not supposed to overwhelm you at all times. Life isn't meant to be merely survived. It's me to be lived season, or instances will inevitably fill out of your control but the moment when you feel like you're drowning, are supposed to be brief. they should not be the whole of your existence. The price
she's life you ve been given, is like a ship navigating its way across the ocean and your meant to be the captain of the vessel. certainly there are times when storms toss you around or cover the deck with water or break the mast, clean and half. But that's when you need fight your way back to them all the water off the boat bucket by bucket. That's when, need to battle to get yourself back to the home. There is your life. You are meant to be the hero of your own story Doesn't mean you become selfish, doesn't mean you discard your faith or quit believing in something greater than yourself What it means is taking responsibility for your own life and your own happiness. said another way, a harsher more likely to get me punched in the face way. if you're unhappy, that On you. When I say unhappy, I mean
unhappy. I don't mean depressed. True depression. Has everything to do with your genetic make up and the chemical balance in your body. as someone who's battled depression. Personally I have the most compassion for anyone who's going through it. I also don't mean sadness, sad, or grief brought on by circumstances outside of your control like Soul, shredding loss of a loved one is now something that can be walk through quickly or easily sad, and pain are things you have to sit with and get to know or you'll never be able to move on entered unsettled, frustrated, angry any of a number of emotions that man. Angry any of a number of emotions that make us want to hide from our lives and dead of embracing them with arms, wide open like a creed song, because happy people
the ones who are enjoying their lives. Ninety percent of the time do exist. you, ve seen them, in fact You're reading a book written by one right now. Ultimately, I think that what people are commenting on in my photos, They're saying your life look so perfect, but what I, they mean is your life. Seems happy, you look content. You're always optimistic and grateful you're always laughing. I want explain why. I didn't have an easy start. Actually, if, I'm being honest, the word I would use to describe much of my childhood is dramatic. Our house was chaotic. Behind His highs and the lowest slows there were big, parties filled with family and friends, followed by screaming and fighting and crying fists. eyes. Holes would find their way into the walls and play
so would shatter against the kitchen floor. my father handled stress with anger. My mother handled it by going to bed for weeks at a time like Those children who grow up similarly, I didn't know there was any other way to be a family. Then I was fourteen years old. My big brother Ryan committed suicide. the things I saw and went through that day will haunt me forever but they also changed me in a fundamental way. I was the baby. A four children had spent my life up until that point, largely ignorant of the world outside my own home. But when Ryan died, already turbulent and troubled home shattered if life was differ, before he died. It was and afterwards I who up in that single day and
the anguish and fear and confusion of his death. I recognise a great truth if I were wanted, a better life than the one Eyed been born into. It was up to me to create. It. The year he died. I was a freshman in high school, and I immediately started, taking as many classes as I could and ordered to graduate early, My junior year, I received my diploma and move to LOS Angeles, the closest major city to my small California, hometown this country, mouse Ella, seem like the kind of place where any dream come true. I was seventeen years old even grown up enough to get a phone line or sign the lease on my apartment without an adult signature. But all could focus on was finally getting away. for years, I'd live within the chaos of my childhood home thinking some day I'll get out of here and then all be happy. How could I not be happy and away? I said
every inch of it from this, second, my feet on the ground. I absorb the frenetic energy of Hollywood and adapt to the rhythm of the waves rolling to shore along Pc H Multi dimensional skyline made me feel worldly, I oppression, did the kind of views that only an outsider would see people, don't notice the trees in Beverly Hills there It's too busy coveting the mansions that sit below them, but the tree. These were one of the first things I saw gloried in the beauty for the sake of beauty. Since that What thing had an existed in the place where I had grown up? the thing is the tree all match in Beverly Hills on any. Even street, around any given corner. Even amid the chaos of a bustling city. You will see row after row of perfect symmetry.
A menagerie of Canary Island pines and camphor trees and date palms. They were laid out by the original landscape architect back at the beginning of the twentieth century, they hug the wide streets and meticulous rose, silence, sentinels of one of the world's most a fluent cities. After all, I've time of chaos. I delighted in the order. Finally, I thought to myself I'm where I belong. time passed and seasons chains, and my new city eventually taught me one of the most vital lessons. I've ever learned. Moving or travelling or getting way it's just geography, moving, doesn't change who you are. It only changes the view outside your window. You must Choose to be happy, grateful and fulfilled
If you make that choice every single day, regardless of where you are what's happening, you will be happy. I get to see my best friend Amanda a few times a year, every time we hang out. We talk until our throats or sore and laughed until her cheeks hurt A man than I would have just as much fun hanging out in my living room as we would lying on a beach in Mexico now granted MAX. Oh is prettier and the weather is nicer and we'd have easier access to cocktails with little umbrellas in them, but We can have a great time whether or in my back yard or behind the dumpster at the local Walmart because we're so excited hanging out with each other you're engaged and involved and choosing to enjoy your own life. Does it matter where you are or frankly what negative things get hurled at? You use
you'll find happiness, because it's not about where you are, but who you are things that helped me one I stopped comparing myself, Not comparing myself to other people, and I also stop comparing myself to whoever I thought I was supposed to be Comparison is the death of joy and the old The person you need to be better than is the one you were yesterday too. I surrounded myself with positivity, I cringe even riding that, because it sounds like a poster. You'd see taped to the wall of your eighth grade Jim Class, but cheesy or not its gospel. You, come who used around yourself with become what you consume. Find yourself in a slump or feel as though you are living in a negative space taken. Hard look at who or what you see every day three
I figured out what makes me happy and I do those things this. like the most obvious idea in the world, but at the end, If the day very few people intentionally choose the things that bring them joy, no, I don't mean that you can build a life around massages and lavish dinners, or maybe you can and fancy pants I mean that you should spend more time doing things that feed your spirit. More long walks with your dog lead volunteering. For that thing, you feel obligated to do but actually hate you who are in charge of your own life, sister, and there is not one thing in it that you're not allowing to be their think about it. We will be back with another episode next week. In the mean time, if you have a moment and you can write of review or subscribe to the podcast, that is life,
to those of us who worked so hard to produce every single episode for more information. You can check out days, podcast, com or stock me on every form of social media. I am Miss Rachel Hollis on every single platform. Think Our producer, Alison Cohen, are sound, engineer, Jack Campbell and are sound editor Andrew Weller. First Importantly, I hope you heard something today that inspires you see in it. Ladies and gentlemen, did I mention I have a book coming out: here's the thing it's called get out of your own way, a skeptics guide to growth and fulfillment, and we the priest cell window of windows. I am super excited about having written a book for both men and women about twenty lies that I once believed that were keeping me in my own way. I have written from the perspective of someone that is totally different from Rachel Hollis, even if the format is somewhat similar to grow wash your face, I wrote it from the
respect for someone who's been skeptical of tools like this book or even podcast you listening to for ever and ever its through that lends that I'm talking about the ways that I was getting in my own way and I bank in uncovering the truth. Behind those lies, not only. Help me get out of my own way. It help you get out of Europe's there two ways I want to say thank you for preparing this book I've created in the course of course, yes and III, a sixty minutes each course called finding your why it's a phantom stick resource. It's available absolutely for right now for having pure the book, and If you go to get out of your own way, the book that calm right now and father not only we get a course. You can hear the first thirty minutes of the book again get out of
on, comes out March tenth, I'm super super excited about it, get out of your own way. The book dot com hit that link follow the problems, and I appreciate your support.