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95: How To Rebuild Your Life With Trent Shelton


Today on the RISE Podcast, I’m talking to my friend Trent Shelton. Trent is a former football player and author of his new book, The Greatest You. Trent has rebuilt his life and shares with me his secret to facing his realities. He shares how to burn the right bridges and how to get rid of things in your life that aren't serving you. Trent has an amazing outlook on how to overcome hardships and finding hope in the darkest times -- I’m so excited to let him share his message with you!


My new book Girl, Stop Apologizing is available now! It contains some of the most tactical and detailed information I’ve ever given, all in the hopes of inspiring you to stop making excuses and follow the dream that sets you on fire. Get it right here — amzn.to/2RxC6eY

Lastly, if you are looking to add gratitude + goal-setting in your life then head to our shop to grab your Start Today Journal here-- http://bit.ly/2UZOglA

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey guys, it's reach our houses, and I'm here is my friend. Trent Shelton was a rigid. I live in the dream, man. you tell listeners why we're hanging out together right now, we're hang it up. Because we're launching my new package straight up and I'm super exile seller, add if you guys are not already familiar attract he had As millions and millions of fans all around the globe who come to him for a very unique style of coaching, yeah, Are you straight to? The point is really I can put it from the heart and break it. Do those native mindsets breakin through of withholding you back in Mostar. We have. People's lives for love that so you guys want here, more you're, already listening on a platform, go subscribe to straight up with Trent Shelton Short: let's go, let's go.
One of the cruellest things that I get to see as part of my job is the manifestation of the product or products that I dreamed up and created and figured out how to do like. So many of you as a business owner, you get these ideas in your head and it is incredible to get to watch them come to fruition and I started dreaming about one of our most popular products. The start today journal. I served dreaming about this a couple of years ago. I had been doing this daily practice based on several different people. I had heard about several different things in a kind of put them together into one daily practice, which was every single day. I wrote down the dreams I had for my life, but I wrote them as if they had already happened. There's something really powerful about claiming a goal as if it's already done, and I wrote down every day- and it was how I set my intentions and then I would post about it on social, and so many people are like what are you doing? What is that? Where do I get that journal and I was like eyes: it's not a journal, it's just a notebook, I'm just riding down the same thing every single day, but what I think is interesting, as business owners or creators is often times. In fact, most of the time your audience will tell you what it wants from you and I kept pushing it off because I was like you guys. This is not a big deal, but it was and people kept asking for- and I finally just thought what if I turn this into a product and I started to dream and plan- and I literally taped pictures to the wall of my office, of what I dreamed that my journey,
look like in the intention behind it, and I wanted the covers to be really pretty, and I wanted it to be something that you could do once a quarter and then, as you completed, each journal you'd have a stack of this evidence of how intentional you were about your life and we figured it out, and I mean you know some times we messed up on the shipping and sometimes we rest up on the interior. But we failed our way to where we are today, which is the start today journal in the hands of hundreds of thousands of people. So incredible such a blessing for me to be able to go on Instagram and see hashtag start today journal and see people all over the world using this practice as a way to aim in the direction of their dreams. So if you are not familiar- and you want to check it out, you can go over to the Hollis code. Dot com forward, slash shop and find out all about my favorite practice, turned my favorite product and, if you're not in the market, to buy remember that episode. Seventy two of this podcast gives you the exact step by step so that you can do it and whatever
look you have laying around for free you not to buy a product, but you should be doing this daily practice. It will literally literally change your life. I'm so excited to welcome today's gas to the rise podcast because he is amazing, you're going to love him and he's also one of our dear dear friends. If you are not already familiar with Trent Shelton, if you're, not one of the ten million people who follow him on social and get spired and pumped up by him on a daily basis, this is
to light your hard on fire. I Rachel Hollis and I've built a multi million dollar media company with a high school diploma and the free information I found on the internet in the fifteen years that I've been building and scaling my company, I have become deeply passionate about helping other entrepreneurs to do the same so each week I'll be sharing tangible and technical advice and inspiring interviews with the same intention. Bees are the tools to change your life and your business. This is the rise podcast. Oh it's important to serve as a back the weird doings interview in a holiday and express citizenship, little it, but the Bergmann level out o r lacquered Dave when we walked in about the last hotel. We were all out together. A murder work that now or very during times of the year of my friend torrent shalt in it is the night before we're gonna run a half marathon. As friends do you know, do hard things together, stay together, but
You have about coming out in one second and I'm so excited for you, I'm so excited for this message that is already spreading in such a massive way on social, too gonna bigger scale and get into more hands again to more hearts. So what to do? the book, but first, if people are already familiar with you. Will you take us through like where you come from like? What's the journey got you well group in New Orleans for a large portion of my life, about seven great move forward taxes. So I guess where my adult childhood started. The youngest of two brothers appearance, but in the household my whole entire lifecycle, gray example the moment a debt five years old, though, when I start plan for by you, we haven't to other brothers is like no other choice of Erin sports. You know just like that's what I'm gonna do in my life, so playful Bob ass, while baseball track
I too, am my whole. Entire life got a scholarship to play a sailor winter mailer and had a good career. You know it wasn't a career that I feel, like honours, obey the latest. My guess it was a great career but still feel like it could have been better. A mafia like. Those we're because I always felt like I was underdog still in that mom even I was shining and wasn't that wasn't that a party, your story was that a teacher had told you you, like the chances of extra like the chances of being allowed teacher say that kid's is like the changes like point: zero, zero. One per cent of some were making and if it is true, but I just feel like if somebody really has our hearts that on that, you tell him like it's a small change which you can make it so the time you know I can name proudly ten times what in our throughout my life, where a are apparent. Are France or me you're crazy? we have as a certain type of people in like that certainty. People person was me and I believe that a great example Suke has even grown up in New Orleans
across the street, from a thanks player and I got to see him run in the streets, his son, actually Juno actions is a The problems are now got to baby sit him, but I got this crazy high works, but two zero industry intimated tangible for me. I got to see like A regular human being because, as a kid you know you think these, their superheroes like but got to like all this is how you works, and I can actually do this imago here. In culture and if ever there, plus pleasure. So I got to get back two from Home- and I got to see Jerry Rice and all these guys are the young Eightam Michael can do this so that plan, that see that it was possible and that's all that I need it: was mailer outpost, get drafted. Fourth round it round. Six ransom like that, it didn't happen in some watching the draftsman. You know, I guess to put it into tears whereby to understand it's like just imagine: you're waiting for that because, right, maybe it's a job interview and you're. For sure they're gonna call you, but they never do and I had to put on a poker face my mom,
no I'm ok, I'm saying People are texted me and I'm just masking the pain and I The car went up. Wrap your high priority free agent, which I was your phone stars written off the hook, so the coats That was why the teams- and they just want to super bowl and echoes dodgy a different model colonies. The Hague he's a great guy, there isn't give your first shake. You know he's not argument you're not gonna, make things you're. My nephew recent give you a fair chance, so I go there and are performed great. Meanwhile, the best precision deftly on all the Ricky's proudly. I want they taught Banana Phil Anna was discussed, because the fairy preceding game is when they use it by the started for the first half of the second. Have they play the guys who We will make him a team. I didn't play me at all in some like this. Is the right like. If they're not gonna play me, they must be a cut. so ass, one, a veteran gas, the night trying to hide you because they re. It'll come. You assigns the practice squat, but they don't want you to keep in these
That's because another team was they cut. You will pick you up a waivers inside you. Yes, they put me in the back and that's where I got cut. They sent me to the practice and so what did I do cause? I thought this was success about a car. A chain has to live in everything we do This is the fun thing about interviewing in me. I don't know sports it all right. So when you say you're the practice squad that means that you're you're, the one helping the players practice. Yes, oh you're, you're on the team, the aggregate activated anytime, ok, the possible, if you can actually is very high because injuries happen, you just don't do that James, I a kind of like mine, the miners and baseball crying to upload your more
You know you're. There have, you now say: you're actually auditing in on a menu primate about ninety thousand lousy. Just like I'm rich yeah. That's going to my colleagues- and I are rarely get me so I get caught up in the lifestyle and in I'm around celebrities than us on TV and am bourbon elbows with people, and I get caught up in their lifestyle and I got cut no two weeks there, and so like what do I do luckily, my friend that whom college we're roommates insights attic over there. The rent don't worry about it. I dropped taxes and therefore, a week I keep myself inside my room because you gotta realise its September and if I'm out in the streets in September? People know that I'm cut yeah, shelter myself. Why? My mom thousand, I didn't want to deal with people, and that was the first. I rather like I was really running from our battle and not face them our reality. They call me back a weekly and that's my whole string and I found me I got cut seventy times back and forth three different teams: three different cities
Stable, not knowing like sky high we got a terrible Tuesday. but two days when they have waivers when you get cut so every two's every practice I'm nervous, because I don't, if they're gonna call insane bring your play: booking you're goin home. So, like any mistakes, talk about pressure, any mistake you could be gone so is really tough. When I think, and for for athletes or GOSH like Dan there is, or anybody where your you're being judged literally who you are you like, you're I imagine you're giving your heart. You do everything you can there's so much pressure. There's all these things and then it's not. just cutting like I don't know, if you let's say we're an actor and you are different for something they didn't like you're acting style. But if you get cut for this, it's like is there some sort of like you are not good enough or your big yeah this? fell like that was my first feeling of not being good enough, and so would it.
Do I mass my pain with things that I shouldn't have mastered wit to cover up there? Because I didn't look in the mirror, and course I was great enough, but in others dang it. I got angry in my faith in like I could have just been something else like. I don't want to get this far in like what do I do in my life, because a lot of people don't understand that you know Colleagues as they stood Natalie this farce, Actually, a mere came work. Internship. You can have a job. There prepare your lease when I was there, they prepare you for life after sport. I've never had a jot. Why am I right gosh? I never thought about that before their behaviour. That is what you do. Your job is to regale. There's one thing as areas where you on scholarship to so then it's like you want to stay in their school you're gonna perform in swear you, they will laugh at you. You say I wanna know go work, a job. They will laugh at you so ass. The whole thing about you know athlete in paid in college, which I think they should because you gimme your check out? Your check is two hundred and fifty dollars a month force. They pay for your meals, but
above all? Well, that's crazy. I'm curious cause is, is better bidders here, yeah you're, so I'm aware in way coaxed or we're running this half marathon, the three of Us Dave's here too, it's weird if it sounds like Trenton Iris Is it? Does it feel where'd you come back here. It is if a guide her, because I do not draw around earlier. Waco is definitely change. Some time I mean it's definitely grew on the stadium. I played and is no longer here, but it is. It is, I played and is no longer here, but it is it it's it's a It's a growth moment. If I come to a city that I've been New York, is one of those cities that I go there. I'm just like me I'd, look on which my life is changing. Appreciated now you know, but is definitely was a memories here that some struggles to yeah for rail. So Oh you! You go through this experience. You win Did you get like? What was this catalyst? Tell the story of like how you get too, who you are today,
here, because the people who know who you are already are like. Oh wow like getting too but their people listen who don't understand, sir sorry about like what comes next, you get cut. You don't know what to do here. So my my birds, Armenian, Kurt, some thirteen, somewhat the Redskins in process again. Pregnant. That's when I was in Indianapolis in two thousand and seven she gets pregnant. Those boring two thousand eight amendments, and with this I say also that moment and just to be totally transparent. You know we weren't together and so on looking not at trysting, but at the situation is a disappointment. Pasture sunlight is not supposed to happen like this. You know me Maria. We, each other, but we know each other like dance on like man but fast forward. I realise that their disappointment was my greatest rescue, because Tristram was first time in my life rafts like some other than my life really mattered right, like some as a follow up footsteps. Somebody's gonna pay for
decisions are make our reap the benefits of this sitting making. So the first thing I told my son was like I don't want you to growth. To be like me in, of course, is a baby. I can't I'm mad that hurt me to the court. So that, may me start thinking like. Oh as a man. What is what is the greatest? You look like. What do you want to leave for Tristan he's? Gonna, follow your footsteps, you, those parents, listening say: don't do as I do not totally false right keys are watching what you do so that was the big for me as far as the role to change the start. The second thing That happened that really started Amsterdam was marked, college will make him in suicide, and so one of my best friends you're going to his service in realising that, like life is short and when I left the service. I haven't really talked about this because people, my things where it but I went to a cemetery and I walked around and I like that. Stars, and I realise that Deaf has no preference, you see ages. You see, you know, deferred
Since there are people- and I'm just like- I don't want to I'm here would incomplete life. Would yes, you know yeah, like we were at that, sent you at the thing with who's, the guy that we all got see together, I gotta be hungry. All this brand less brown. Unless brown talks about this the real estate and the most expensive real estate in the world, there is limited areas because everybody dies with the dream, those business plans. They could have had those books, they could have written there. So much dreams dead, the ground with them because they never tried wow, that's good!
Now woke me: yeah, hey, aren't next, women's conference is only a few weeks away and if you have never attended before this is the events that will change your life rise is a three day: women's personal development conference, where we laugh until we pay our pans and we talk about our things. We cry and we find a community and we create the road map to changing our lives or our businesses or whatever it is that you're working on. If you want to find out more your curious, what it's all about, I highly recommend you go check out the instagram and see what our community says. You can hear it straight from them. It's at: let's rise, dot, co and, if you're looking for the next one, it's happening in Toronto on March Fifth, through the seventh that's Toronto March. This, through the seventh check out all the details at the Hollis cold dot com. If you have been looking for a nudge, if you have been looking for something to kick start change, I promise to this. Is the thing
It was two thousand and nine. When I I wish, I could tell a coup story of how this moment happened, but it wasn't. I would just be an honest like I was in my mouth I was in my mom's house in my room and was looking around on cigarette muffled, pictures are Christians around the room and I'm just like its rehab time. I didn't know what Rehab Tom was for me rehab men put straight back into a week. Say what you heard sports in a car wreck. You gotta, rehab sucks, but if you re right, you'll come back strown, which you were so ass. It is antimicrobial. So the bright first thing was spent for me, because I knew I really could control that. I hated to read books I'm a pick up. A book said the guy right now. I've works as an autonomous status. Does like our never pick up a book like it's even a personal element like it.
There really zoo language. You look up two hours I were people now grown up. It was like wrappers has been on his lap icy massively like that's. Why? Let them do so and it's funny because I want in my room and when the first books I had was from Master p like it was just super bunny, but so been and historic start going to the gym started. Reading start to my work. More and overtime must, the shutters journey right. What people I was living rehash I'll, be honest. I was one foot in one foot out and try to figure out my way in this process and, as I started, my journey people start to catch. All people start see it. People start to respond in the fast work beating up to three years later. My very first speakin engage my very first but major speaking engagement didn't want to do it. I'm still trying to play meaningful Bob Marley when we go to New Orleans cause, she has her thing about New Orleans, but as I am bonnet with a voodoo- and I beg the coach to let me come Saturday, I suppose, a comfort
as I speak, engagement is, let me do it did what to speak engagement. My friend talks me into it make a long story short on stage. Five minutes seem like five hours and in them five thousand years by the way, so cater for another story. Talking to me, do the hard hard Unharnessed cried out tat every speaker: let's go in front of you yeah, he wasn't. You can still there near ready for that exactly so I do and at that moment on stage, even though I was fearful forgot, everything are prepared, and I say you know what you can sink or you can swim. Others, like my guy use me and after all these years, I went up to me. Ask me questions about life. Unlike yeah. I heard inspiring Marcel yeah, that's so at that moment I quit verbal. If people I was not, a big deal was because that was identity yeah. That was our pay. My bills Anna was in which, at the time that was we lay down, and I lay languidly new yeah We have time wasn't what it was like. I might add, A few hundred views on videos. A few hundred follow
we stood out for Bosnia and I let go and I walked into it and our kids, you not reach like three to four or five months later video. I started to make started, go viral yet start to grow. Yet I guess where it's like, when you call the shots like when you say to guard the universe whenever like ok, I'm doing this thing is insane to me how quickly it rises up to me. Yeah. and it's like now stewardess that making that something bigger and continuing to grow. That thing, that's a whole other! You know things deal admirers, what manage, but just that like pronounce it just calling your shot just saying it out loud, just like okay, this is what I am doing so how long ago was that there was Let's stage was probably twenty alive. And so I started rehab time like officially like me and my mom's room, two thousand so eleventh when I let go of Albania. So it's been a decade, yet
we asked for decades, and here we all know that at some point in their like all the known as otherwise not impose their own lives to show people like a little like opposing this ground was in a closet like Megan videos with clothes in the background is like Algeria like right. That's what I've been doing this for a long time, an agreement now and doing the work, and so now you get to this place like just give them. If, if an awful Eric, give him an idea of your social following stand here, so we two million on Facebook. In a we, I mean the video views because out of the community- and I have a reactors at our last- because a hundred and fifteen million views on their here visa Instagram about a million until that is pretty much Romania
the area of, and so soon talk a little bit about NATO tonight, rehab time by the philosophy that you have for life that that player in the new book that you really wanted people to to latch on to, and so I have this thing called the review process. It's simple, I'm pretty sure a lot of people priory do this, but I just put in a framework and I thought about rehab allowed you to another, the acronym, its renewing every horn body, it's not so much by renewing every harden body in his time to do that. So that's what Rehab Tom stands for them. a process is made up of three hours and This is a process that I feel like you have to do almost daily weekly month is not a one in done type of thing. The first are is reality. I'd space in your reality, whatever that may be right, space enough, your space in that situation. Worry. This is over like me, letting go of football, you, never wear your war, borrowing from your battles as I love it's our people that, because a lot of we're trying to win this war without
Based on that you won't. We will never fixed which- and I wanna face apps and I get it. It's scary, its heart. But in order to get to the other side, you have to walk through that door and so realities. That first thing second thing is release. people say: don't buy umbrageous their bridges. You shouldn't bar for sure over a little things don't buy british, but there are bridges in your life. There need to be burned because certain things at your life cannot afford to go back to yeah. So what those bridges destruction is not always people and we always go to people, but maybe it's your habits, maybe too That may be surpassed in its loans. You keep their breeds like I want it's happiness, amassing a not strong, because I think everybody is but you not strong enough to stay. Environment. That you know, doesn't serve. You yeah the temptation yet strong yeah, because the trigger is not going to go away. That's what I try and talk about all the time you can't and the trigger, if you're some may, let's say coping in a way that unhealthy is, let's hear drinking too much you're using your minnow, whatever the
stress the anxiety, the thing that set you off, that's how can a magically get out of your life? So I dont you can change the trigger. You can change the activity is on contained how you manage a year for sure definitely ominous what that's about giving people is double face it, and you say you know what I don't. Even this, even with closure, not solely by the time like closure, is something like this does not deserve better Claudia Yasser, like Diana closer, could you could be weighed on something that will never happen? Re? Yes, oh reality, their release is burning. Those bridges, so you can build a bridge like they need to be built you. So was that environment that you're in this environment grow you. I was like a haven't. A beautiful flower right, you take the most. following the world, has the potential to be that group. the flower, wrong environment, the flowers gonna grow yeah how much potential that flower has a lot of us without
we have all the potential in the world which is in the wrong environment. Yeah in the last part is repair. Repair is the hard part, but it's about getting down to the route issues in your life so many people would serve as those solutions through I dislike Gimme, a quick fix, you know, tell me to leave this situation but say relationship, so my gets out of our relationship, but then again so another relation, that's bad our question is yeah. I can tell you: hey, remove yours when the pain, but why do you keep put yourself in the pain yeah, they were the only thing that hasn't changed like it. It's like people forget like you're, the variable it's all. These different partners and you ve had the same kind of problem with each one. It wasn't them and it was you, as you chose to keep putting herself in that situation for whatever, whatever the reason as it allows arms. The reason is that Sea Maria, how you saw your pair diabetes, a bare relationship at first. So a big on removing those bad sees digging up those bad seeds and replacing new season in that place
a new lifestyle, new habit whatever may be, and that's the real process, process that always coat from teach prompt from people know it, and I do not want my life every single day and its interesting. I'm a you know, we're friends. I get to know you on a different level than maybe other people, but you have to correctly they must run, but you, I feel that you have attracted a large audience of people, that are struggling with relationships as others does that sound, accurate how'd? It was that something intention, nor was that something that just you saw that need in your community in you started speaking into a year. Deftly wasn't intentional ignores is crazy because. Certain videos Almaty really talking about it's a miracle, yeah, but they see that and I take it. I think I'm very broad in my approach and I'm always like whatever people need it for so I'll have we'll say: oh, I did better when it comes to now
don't asserting drug in my langmore relation was full bought. That was my like, be everything yeah, and so I think, There's a lot of relationship issues with people in this world, our board, the relationship problem and most people take it for that fish yeah! Well, it's it's! interesting to for those people who are listening, who are business owners are influencers? Transit all the time like our business is guided by our community. They tell us what they want and, like your people, tell you what they want and then your serving the need that they ask you for, but I feel like so many we'll get and to this end, any kind of business and then get really precious about like no. This is the thing I do and if I had been like this is the thing I do or if you had been like, I only do we wouldn't have the Kurds that we have today. That is you hit the nail on the head of a community. Is every bring gas video, the wit, crazy, everybody's?
your friend, that's my biggest video that are released. Prime month ago, a hundred and fifteen hundred twenty million of you see now idea. Everybody is when we talk to any. I asked able but an argument when many million views and we released at last my yeah and italy- it's about lake, just at the idea, and it was being so basically every video. That she's in obviously, is now a real time. Conversations JAMA Yemen's thinks she's gone through our went through the very real forgot to say to you, I just remembered so early retirement Maria interest and that his trends, while leaving wrath atta throughout that it was your idea of so this is. This- is your sister, unless you're talking here in the video and yours bulges, you know everybody and your friend you know base there your corner, a mere by a circle, might not be a corner type of on you know. Sometimes you have to know
people go and as a means whereby people as is that they don't Serbia lie here. Maybe you know you don't serve them yeah. That was just of it, but the crazy thing about it. So I was I may what about how this video, because I know tat big as far as working people to stopping in people's attention in the social media world and we're thinking. the team. I say you know what What are we doing all this high work? This is ass. My facebook groups, thousand people nor yet so we give them options in the title I want it was they like some people, just wanted something tat. We put, of titles. In the title I want it was last week yeah they pick everybody's for an overwhelmingly apple donor, yeah, yeah and I'll. Tell you we learn that so many times the hard way. My aesthetic, like the design, that the things I like are not what my community acts and if we leave it to like what I why we're not Can I sell a journal ever again for ever and ever like it's just not in fact
every time we so we ve done three rounds of journal, so nine covers every single time. The cover, I think is the strongest is always like. Oh my gosh, so smart, those just like pulling them in asking them and they were, makes it easier and then there are also there bought in. Declaring vast id like David and they are because we would not be where we are where we are today. Without this community supporting us and like telling people and the videos and doing the thing. Are they so are they just dying? about this, but others tyres that they named the book. Yeah did they remain the book I gave all these options in one was like the review process yeah things they named the book. There super excited I go and hard and because the whole thing That I think is one of the college's, but the thing by that, I gave them a place to fill a partner because air meanwhile, that I gave them a place to fell apart because everybody numbers into a name
what I mean by that, I gave them a place to fill apart, because everybody must develop port of some sauce cholera outbreak reactors across the world yeah. Now at first like rain, MRS Corny, but allow its programme. so my ribs earlier, and so now they for that part of this is not about a trend, is successfully islands like we are. We did that yeah the thing in a grocer face last year, what I always remind people of this I get launched and it did ok if it did. Ok, it didn't make the near timeless for eleven weeks rang on low yeah yeah. I know it launched like fine, not like what publisher was like, like they were even now, and then every week of it's a little bit more and a little bit, and that's not me, and that's that the publisher that is one hundred percent. The community obsessed we going where making this a bestseller daylight held it up. They told their friends. They got on social media like ours
success is a company is because of this community. We trying to smart things. We work very hard but like this is, if you take care of your customers, if you take care of your clients, view take care of those people, they will take care of you about an part of it too, is, I think you do this. We do that, like we are constantly creating so much content to serve these people and asking nothing in return, but it's like give give give here's all these things. Oh you want a video about that. You want to hear about this and then You do have something like a back. There lie related show up for you, you ve got it asked for from a mere the reason I wrote it worked for them the mask of over three years. I swear it. We want a book and therefore like very impatient like me about when some little Kay. Let me do this, for you guys and I put a lot of like twelve rehab stories in their course and changing needs by. yeah you're, exactly right, give value to them as much as you can incite. That's the thing that in this industry,
in business in general. I think a lot of people are realises, like you will win, you know when you operate from a place of does given value when voting intentions behind yeah, because people were deftly shore. For you understand the air, so tell us about, tells him up tell us about. What's in it, what to expect the marine corps book is to help people turn their painting to their power right. It takes them the journey on their rehab is, I talked about, is broken up in three sections. Rice was reality. Release repair Manys chapter It's a little bit about my story. I want to make it all about my stories. My butt My story is in there, but I'm the challenge in people to actually know do two things at I'm talking about yeah one chapter is, protecting your piece. How big I am on that hiking and get away. So it's not like a book that so I'd like the book is like me to the fullest because it bouncing around so much holistic approach and being the greatest you yeah, not just like one theme throughout the whole but yeah, that's arson,
so. One thing that I think is really interesting about. Our friendship is that you- and I I feel I have become friends because we spoke on so many stages together in the last year, and we have seen, Can somebody sages frankly because well let me say, like this you're an african american man. I'm a woman and everyone else on the stage is, older white man separately. So we have been, I think, like often times even when I'm not with you, I'm like yep, I'm, like you guys check in that box, like I'm. I know why I'm here does that you know like. I know why this conference wanted me to be here and what would like the first time I heard it I just died and I'm so freaking excited, like you just will be at every rice conference for the rest of time. If y'all are coming to rise, you're going to get your heart's like lit on fire but you're, just such a talented speaker
thank you, but what I love is that, like I don't do like that D Phil. I know I know your gavel character, satellite, I dont about words your mouth, but I feel like. Oh, we know why you got us here now, watches own this data and we do later be like, and that sounds of noxious but seriously weaken the warlike something else we gotta people are monsieur Darzac threat is then we with my beyond the Amsterdam on state and they don't. You know what to do with us. I think that also why I identify with you. So much who is your doing as yourself you're not doing it like anybody else in at its. I think when it first If you do this, when I first got into speaking, I tried to do, like other p, like, I warned that dumb suit sarmatians a damn. If you do, if you like a suit and are you I hate it now, I feel so uncomfortable and it up. I don't feel like I can speak properly cause uncomfortable in my clothes you? So I was
so awkward until I just you know I put on my secret and my genes, and I was able to do it as myself and then I felt like that's when I got the connection with the crowd. Is that your experience in person I mean I used to have. It were, of course, how come they prepare, and I mean I've been doing it for so long. I know where to go, but I would have liked notes right now in everything, and it is that wasn't me. You know that the process of like talk about you like this wasn't me and when I was decided, alarm is gonna, be myself and go free and not try to be perfect and focus on just serving people. You know one of the things I realized a lot like, even I'm nervous or backstage when I'm not myself over those on being selfish. Billina Banana Yamaha Leon, everything yeah nerves are selfish, emotion, exert Oprah, so I say let me just focus on being or serving being who I am am whether people which another, by judge me or not, because at that time
quick Eichelberger all day after this we're going to get our car blowed on resort. So I was, it was one of us our speakin engagements. My brother he's a culture connection, was out and Whitney, which has not so far from here. I D. And I go. There are speak for free. I reach us at a coach and my hey as a speaker. Socialism is too because I'm like hey like bring me in, like I'm just trying to speak as much as I can, because I just know if I get in front of people and other opportunities with so early, so I get there I sit down and I'm wearing corset, tattoo sleeves and wearing my hat backwards. I have like just know a shirt and some jeans and Jordans on. I said that the Lord VIP table that's reserved and I sit down this late. I can just feel like looking at me I hear still panel mine, I get up, I speak. Tear down, I sit back down she taps as she says at apologize. She said I like Pre judge, you got what you got this being my all he's the Speaker
like I've never been impact. It That is why my as I promised myself from here on out that I'm gonna break any stereotype lad. I wanna be myself on stage, so nobody we say all just because you baby, not being black, but just as you have tattoos or look a certain where are like you, said as a woman, I I want to make sure that outbreak break the stereotypes. You know judge anybody yeah, like you know, God that might have gotten me on this stage. But it's not what's gonna. Make me around the neck. Sign as I am tell me about that journey. As a speaker, I love that you said this Gregg. It asked this all the time. People who want hair wanna do mean a public school in particular begin I'm sure of it to end like how did you get there and my answer. I know this is your answer. This is Tom, billions answer, you speak anywhere. They will. Let you I love it, you said: do you speak for free, big? And now do you speak for free but like when you drove to that place? You paid for your own gantos money. You bought your own lunch like you
a lot of times when you're starting now and you don't know what you're doing it for free, but you have to spend some of your own money to make it happen because its they're going to learn and little so tell me, like what was the process, I'm sure really similar, mind like you're speaking, free free, free, free, free and then finally, you get like a hundred you're like now, you gotta play. We throw it out loudly Jack, you re easy rag and we all right. So my process as my philosophy, this would have because our reach out to people and people when respond or bring me on someone Icu so ass. I will work, cannot control. Well, there's the internet. I can to start speak on it. but you know, people who see me stay so late, that ours is the annoying thoughts or guy. Just speaking, so Even a point of people. Now like egregious talking direct a camera, that's great yet, but people do want to see you won't stay yeah get that video to shabby cells are lately, so I said: ok, they want to see
stay side reached out to resets alma connections. I play sports, a new elements. The teachers so much elementary school did dare like I'm doin rapid. Just all the credit, the very best Kate and everything was for free yep. and you got to a point where place it. I went and I just felt the confidence in every place it with some minor audience, came back and said: hey. Can you speak to ask? Who can we speak here? how much do you charge me? I was a magic. Where am I will you know it opportunity where you know at the like it would just help me the huge somewhere about paying yep. Let me just coming there so high schools churches elementary schools, any word street corners. I didn't care I went to my voice to be heard and part to which is so many people don't have, this is a willingness to sell. I got your willingness to be humble it's like so many it's like people did the podcast this week on this topic,
people. Have this fear failure, like you, have a fear of failure. Even ego problem, you you're afraid of them, seeing you fail, whereas I like? I really never had. I don't know if you're different, like I never had that from my childhood. I think, because Just thought, that's how I was. I just thought Oh yeah, you, your life is hard. and is always going to be hard until you make it better. So you gotta be willing to follow. You gotta be willing to suck you ve gotta be willing to stumble. it never occurred to me that there was another way like literally it. Never so so many people now have this perception that you're supposed to try and be perfect right out of the gate was comparison. Nothing special social media world yeah, like they see everybody's now, yeah like all Rachel on my JAMA weather like you said
but I have the same mentality. I think just been an athlete, because I know there's a process in anything. You do as a sports play it right. You want to suck at something that has a receiver. I was Tara. first and then our grew ever gets it. If I was terrible in our group and so on this new, that, if I just with, was consistent, committed discipline, have that horse that always show up. Eventually, I would find myself. I would find my voice and it took- I took a few years for me to actually to find that voice, not confidence, but You know it was me shorn of every single time, even when I was scared. Even when I messed up, I mean this happened? Maybe two years ago I was on stage Rachel with two microphones so happy european and then so we had like it might have been a growth summit, but they had a microphone Roman and saw a hang him into my back and I'm still here sit on states talking too much everybody's laughing. You don't even know I am I. What are you laughing and their midst our own in the I'm the guy made up of the best come back as like. Thank you for.
My life is like you're, so powerfully to my thoughts like you're right. I'm willing to be embarrassed in everything. It doesn't phase mean yeah yeah. Why am I to do this. The challenge, I think, as a speaker as as a bomb Has anybody is what gonna look like to level up when you we're succeed now now we know what it looks like two level up when your lower down what I actually think as is really challenging today. Is you and I gave you some there? Can, while we're we're doing this part, gas were we're at a level where we could just coast on into home. You like, we could keep doing this, as is huge girl, whose name I will not mention, but I saw the other day doing speech and killed it, but I saw that speech eight years ago, literally same thing, same exact thing, and that person's making a lot of money and they'll be fine by
There never gonna grow there. Never gonna can't like there never going to be something more than that. I think this about speeches like I could give the same talk every single time. You could give us talk every single time, but per firstly challenging still like I I give her. I gave a talk yesterday. That was good, but wasn't great, as I was Tryin immaterial Irene. He felt really felt passionately for this crowd. I was supposed to say something speed. If a gun on you get that should have like got feeling and everything every crab doesn't matter whom speaking I am. I am always in prayer beforehand, like God, whatever you want me to say here, like give me the words and then like a boy who ok and it was- it was good, but it wasn't gray, but ten times from now it'll be exceptional, lose them to yours, yeah yeah, yeah. I met in booming I'll stay observed by, I am. I do your right you're exactly right. You have really high standards for myself, because I think,
This is a very I'm never talked about for four, but this is a very unique job that you and I have- and I think it's a very important job in the same way that we're not preaching were but we kind of are in a different way and you have the ability to influence the lives of the people listening and so forth. I think it's a really fine balance of most people want to be entertained when they're sitting in that audience, and so there is a really cool. Full balance between many Retain you You laugh, but I also have to challenge you, if I'm doing my job, I have to challenge you in the comfortable place you find yourself in and, This is the third one. I've gotta make sure that when you leave this room you can. Retain the things. I just thought you because a unit as those thing like people won't remember what you said they remember he made them feel like can make them feel good.
but if they can't walk out of this room like some tangible things that will help their daily lives, I don't feel like I've done a good job as a communicator Elizabeth, Goer, yeah yeah right. So is it. It is it's my own standard, but it's like that. How do you like it at this place life. What is levelling up look like to use the great question when it comes to speaking, I feel, like you know, you talked about another person. Had the same, I feel, like my message- will always change them, always involve a yak honest with that, like I'm right now, I'm just into talking about really. connecting which herself in Europe in your piece, like I'm being into that I'm a big answer environment. So I was talking about these things to three years ago and so I'm honest with that, and I don't fight that like when I get on stage. As you say, like I'll, try, new stuff and I'd like to hanging like us. To date this or that, but the response- and I give from people
An audience is that man I needed that always and they all I care about this war is what keeps me levelling up is, I know, there's parts in the world that haven't her. My message that yeah so is there a way I can stop, is no lacking. You know get comfortable kick my feet up I didn't get in this industry. Twenty sand, were but aren't getting to speak in or anything you know for the recognition. For the followers like I didn't want to be a speaker. So I don't even know it was a thing the Mimi, I might say I knew I knew when I was younger about like Tony Robins, but now we we run in a group of friends all these, like professional speakers, and I really didn't even know that this was an industry manoeuvring. Adders crater miasmas, like would be cool to be onstage and talk to people, thus without them and so for me realising like that's not it. For me I can never be satisfied.
Positive way, deftly went to appreciate the journey and not always is well more more more. It's it's unhealthy, but I just know: there's hearts in the world that need you know our judges that haven't heard here. Jack he's meagre yeah, one other thing that is, I think, interesting about this circle that we get to run in that it would probably be compelling for the people listening is, We get to be a part of a group of people who are really committed to kind of like a mastermind so like pouring into its pretty diverse mix of people. In fact, you and Dave met each other for the first time the adamastor minds in the mountains, bunch of deeds, and then we had the opportunity to go to a porter wreak go just like it was all the guy's and then their spouses. girlfriends or whatever so big mastermind, but even beyond that, I think, is just a group of people because we all tend to be it. The same events that there is
every time like we're back sage, we're talking about things. I carried everything health, fitness, community business Oliver so for people. Were listening. Who don't have that opportunity? You know that he's, got a pointer Rico, unlike others, per annum, Bouchard what it. What would you say to those people who are listening? Who till it God? I wish. I wish sit around and have friends like that in it. So what what's the advice that you would give them on? create that narrow. My view, I would say you know the first. First of all you can. It might not be yours, You know your immense or the person you look up to, but not over time. It could be Personally I mean people that I thought I would never meet again. No scientists, I'm sure you yeah the same when two percent, but first I would say that you have, to be a reflection of what you want. You have to I think some of us. We say we want to be inserted environments around certain people, but we're not that person so starts, which itself becoming a person in then seek out those environment get around people.
Are at where you want to be. best way you can do. This is to go, serve no serve. I've. Had people literally for me as a threat how to miss a hey. I can't come your van are this or that, but I just want to show up in sir here in Europe have a conversation me long to talk, and now we networked and things like tat so go serve, yeah put itself in a position where there's a there's, a cow and that I just started working with who followed me on such falls me on other things and she does gorgeous. Probably listening. gorgeous hand lettering. and when grow wash your face came out. She I mean, he probably hand letter like beautiful, cliff calligraphy I don't have thirty quotes. The book so pretty and she would always. had me, and then I would always re share them. You know give credit because her so pretty in my community loved them, so sensation
I mean everything they start today journal she does. When the movie came out, she was in it. She insists upon ass. She does it all and I kept seeing her work and she's so create. if so she's, taking my words and she's, adding like art when and she's, not asking for anything in return, and today I would just like I gotta- go out her and see if I can hire like. I just need to pay her to do these. You know whatever things, and so I sinner DM, like hey girl, cannot duty free, where can I hire you to do this stuff and she lost her mine and she said, and I didn't know she was like Rachel cuz. You know we have a start today journal and we say you write down. The dreams are going to make come true and her like number one drink like since the fall was I work with Rachel Hollis. work with Rachel also work with great house, and I didn't know, that's Lorenzo what what is so bananas about. That is that she, some people go? I want to work with reach house. I want to work with track and they
I'm in a weasel. My way- and I am in a reach out, asked them for a german and this personal like I'm going to call. It wasn't even heard trying to get a job where she was just creating so much value for me to replace from appear place. Your people are like I'm in a common, create volume and have a servant, our eminent did it, and then it gets them and into your ecosystem. In the same way that I met Brendan what I didn't You tell to him. I didn't ask him for anything, but I kept talking about how much I loved his wisdom and loved his books. I probably tag them Fifty times like Everyone go by high performance. Habits are obsessed with his book, bubblegum any family. heard about me so many people are like. Are you paying this girl to keep talking about your work and he was like who is this you see there, so it wasn't That was how he met me was like I just kept, adding I will and a war in trying to get anything out of it, I just loved. So I That idea, like show up just volund your time, the the
The thing that I always remind people of is, you do not have to know someone or alive to have them as a mentor like I had so still today of so many men to beyond, say mentors me on the daily you watch home coming out was the other those larger than they're all Hawaii. She so perfect on your guitar do know her level of excellence just blows my mind, but so many people me tore me and have no idea who I am and it's just because I'm absorbing I'm reading there buxom absorbing their wisdom, I'm learning from them stop making excuse. Is about you. Don't have the right connections, you don't know the right. People like There is no reason at the end of a day menu. There's, no reason that you and I should have the jobs that we have been told that we should have the social that we should have. It is because we have money sound because we had connections is it's just because we wanted to serve a community and I think we were smart about had it then turn that into a business.
Zero connections in the encampment Nokia and have the the person shot me out, like I didn't yeah well and now I did a episode today about about success in getting this place, but it's funny how all the sudden and I'm so grateful this sounds on reform. I am so grateful for the men towards that I have now for the friends. Have now for the People want to get a porter ego and talk about business with me. But that only happened after I became only wanted me after I did the thing nobody like came and found like Bay, Let me help you rather, I believe it is about time we had all of these millions of followers than other people like that. There must be. No. Some re would be ground, Zactly restore totally, but you were the bucks coming out. That's big!
you and your like. I get the opportunity to hang out with so many people and If you so many people for the pod cast, but sincerely- and you will- I mean I'll- say it All- over Social and the book comes out and we're gonna sport, the crap out of it, but there are few people that I love and respect in this space as much as I love and respect you And there is no one like literally no one's speaking today with your level of town. Except for me where there were two totally different die Zeit all. But you, you are exceptional at what you do and this for those of you who are listening, I don't I dont say this often. So when I'm saying it's a big deal, you need to go by the book. You need to go by the book for listening to this year to go by the book and because it's a pod cast with a huge many he loves and audio buck and, true narrates is both just like eyes and it's hard it's a super hard, but
has that same like fire coaching in your ear, Come on. Do the thing like he's got that same thing I do so. We need to go grab it right now, namely the book the greatest the greatest you his name is trenches if you're coming Derisory SAM, I love you I'm so glad I got to talk to you today. I am so glad that they got here from you and maybe meet for the first time. So thanks for things, Frank While I appreciate you were having always burial in you and Dave, our people that I consider friends and I look up to you- got fiercely- saw appreciation Ladies and gentlemen, did I mentioned I have a book coming out. Here's a thing: it's called get out of your own way, sceptics guide to growth and fulfilment and we're the priest cell window of windows. I am super excited about having written a book for both men and women about twenty lies that I once believed that were keeping me in my own way. I have written this. The perspective of someone that totally different from Rachel Hollis, even if the format is somewhat similar to grow wash your face, I wrote it from the
perspective of someone who's been skeptical of tools like this book or even podcast or listening to you for ever and ever its through. That lends that I'm talking about the ways that I was getting in my own way and vague in uncovering the truth behind those lies not only help me get out of my own way. It I'll help you get out of yours. There are two ways I want to say. Thank you for preparing this book. I have created an e course penny course. Yes and a course of sixty minutes each course called finding your why it's a phantom ass, the resource it's available absolutely for, right now for having pure the book and if you go to get out of your own way, the book that calm right now and follow the problems not only we get worse, you can hear the first thirty minutes of the book again get out
on way comes out March tenth, I'm super super excited about it, get out of your own way. The book dot com hit that link follow the problems, and I appreciate your support.