« The Rachel Hollis Podcast

aqw: ANGER



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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey guys, this is Rachel Hollis and a quick word on anger. Okay, so I'm reading this, but right now, which is nothing new, I'm always reading a book hand. I had this sort of mind explosion Epiphany moment, as it was talking about the emotions that we have under the surface, one of the things that you don't want, anyone to know whether the things that you try and cover up, or you try and put on a happy face so that people don't know that you are feeling depressed or that your anxious- or in my case, that you're angry I've ever even said that out loud before, and I dont think that I really made that connection until this moment.
This moment when I was reading a book and it asked okay. What do you struggle with most and what I thought was anxiety was you know, feelings of fear that anxiety cause and what's going to happen, but when I dug a little deeper, which None of us love to do but is very important when I dug a little deeper. What was under there was anger and Irene. lies that their anger goes all the way back to when I was a little girl. I had said to my friends many times or to my boyfriend many times that one of the things that I just can't stand it just it takes me from zero to a thousand in One second flat is feeling like some ones, getting away with it, and you can't see me I'm doing air quotes and I don't even know if this I'll make sense to you, but I think it goes back to Greece
up in a really conservative, very oppressive church environment, where a lot of the elders of the church or like sort of that, the people in the church were grown up. Were saying one thing and doing another. They were. living life in a way that didn't match the values that they were putting on other people on. They were super judgmental they were basin. Those people living in a glass house throwing stones, but they got away with it, and so As I got older, I realize I have this thing like when I feel like some one is a bad person but they're getting away with it, or I feel like someone sleazy, but they're getting away. It's like up just makes my blood boil And I know it's a really weird thing and a very honest piece of information to tell you, but it's also why
I've had people that I've admired so much, then I'm so excited to get to meet them or go to work with them are collaborate. And then, when I see behind the scenes and there actually not a good person, I stop- I mean you, ve probably If you ve been with me for a long time, you probably identify times you like, while she was really doing a lot of stuff with this person and then all of a sudden she's just not never talked about them anymore. It's because I didn't like what I was seeing behind the scenes, because I feel like them that person is sort of putting out a false sense of you know their full of it like. I am super imperfect, a mess up all the time, I'm as a publicly like I've, but I own it. I never try and say that I am not that person and it just drives me. Oh my skin crawls, when I feel like someone portraying themselves as a person there. Not all of them
to say I have anger about that and whenever I see it happen, and that means that I have anger still in there for my parents, if I think about it- and I have a lot of anger for my ex husband and I try and work on those things. But if I'm honest, I realized when I was reading this book, I'm like I don't try and like exercise those demons, I'll try and get them out of me. I just try and repress them. I really try and you know, do a gratitude practice focus on the positive do things to like feel better, but I'm not really getting them out. It's almost like finding out that you've a cancer in you, but you just think like I'll. Just you know cover up this piece of myself with something else
huge epiphany moment was, like my mind, was blowing. I was like oh wow, what a gift for me to understand this I'm gonna learn about. You know. This is how I do things whenever I figure out. Oh, my hormones are oh, my this. I take a deep dive. Samana read the books and I'm in a really learn about it, but I was like I made a promise to myself and made a promise to God to whoever was listening. I was like I am going to actively work on getting this out of my body getting this out of my spirit. Getting this out of my soul, I've never thought that before because I am the happiest person, I'm the most positive. When I say that I have anger. It's like it'll. come on me out of nowhere, and so, if that's in there, you know there's little volcano ready to go off. That's really important for me to know, and I've gotta do the work to sort of unpacking get rid of it. I say that in case you have anger or in case you have a negative emotion, a sort of suffering, emotion,
That you know is festering inside of you, but you're not really doing anything to get rid of it. So I make this decision Okay, the only way I know how to take on something like this is just to learn as much as I can, but I make a promise to myself that I am going to you know, get rid of this thing inside of me and I happen to be on a flight when I had this realization I land at the airport and the whole way to the hotel. I'm thinking about this in a promise him just made to myself. I get to the hotel there, like. Oh, your rooms, already ready what a treat thank you so much and go drop off my bags and I haven't eaten I'm starving so go down to the hotel restaurant to grab some food and it's a hotel. I say I often so I know the workers, I know the girls at work, the hostess stand so
walking in and, as I walk in, I see a man standing at the hostess sand. I rate just going off on these young women who I have interacted with so many times there so sweet and he's just going. Often I'm like what On earth could be, what could this be like I'm far away, but I'm like, I know these girls, they don't, they would never say or do something there so polite like. What can this man be pissed off about, and I get up close and he's chewing them out, because his food is taking too long.
And number one I'm just like flabbergasted, because these hostess have literally nothing to do with your food, and I guess he had come up to them, asking to speak to the manager, but while he was waiting for the manager, he was going to go ahead and just let these girls who had nothing to do with it, know how pissed off he was, and I just thought this was the most amazing thing not for them. They were ok, it all ended up working out, but I was like I am so grateful that the universe just showed me.
The worst of the emotion that I just committed to getting rid of the worst of it, and I want you to understand, I'm not trying to say that I want to go through the rest, my not life and not have moments. It are angry. Of course I will, when I am talking about, is the ghost of an emotion right. The anger that I feel inside of me has nothing to do with what is happening in my present moment. The anger that I feel inside of me is about things that have happened in the past. Things that have happened in the past that I keep bringing up over and over and over, and in this moment I walk into the Russia, and I get to see this guy freak in being the worst of it. But- and I was just like oh yeah- this is what it looks like, and I don't ever I would never take my anger out on other people, but I'm like looking at this time I get. This is what it is. This is this gross thing he's hurting the people around him he's embarrassing his wife, because I saw her at the table like oh, my gosh, he's embarrassed.
itself, because, as we were standing there, I watched him like you know: people who have anger: it's like a teapot once the water sort of boils and steams over they ve calm down and a watch him calm down ages, like I'm sorry like I shouldn't take this out on you. This has nothing to do with you guys, I'm just really frustrated, and I thought of that great quote by Wayne Dire where he says you know First squeeze an orange and have lemon juice come out. Whatever is inside of you will come out when you are under pressure when you are squeezed, so this man had anger and side of him and he's just looking for an opportunity users looking for something like traffic or the food being late to find a way to express that bitterness. That's inside of him so dang. I thought that was good and though so grateful for the whole
experience and I was like I have to tell the listeners about this, because maybe your thing is in anger. Maybe it's something else, but if you have an motion inside of you that put you into a sufferings, wait: it's not going to go away, doesn't matter how good your life is. How blessed you are, how much gratitude you practice if those things are still clinging to the inside of you, they're gonna stay there and you're going to have to do the work to get them out.
Transcript generated on 2022-05-17.