« Anything Goes with Emma Chamberlain

Advice Session #4

2020-08-20

Emma is back for another advice session answering everyone’s questions! From ways to forgive people who have wronged you, opening up to significant others about mental health, dealing with people shaming you for the number of people you’ve hooked up with, and much more!

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rambles hi guys welcome back anything goes. How are we doing I'm dehydrated and I think I'm getting a migraine. So that's good news notes on its bad news but I literally woke up in the middle of the night last night, I probably on four a m, and I realize that I was Danes, firstly, dehydrated was concerning, but instead of going in getting a glass of water from the kitchen I just went to the bathroom sink, turned it on my head under, took a few gulfs and then went back to bed So things have been better for me, but have also been worse for me. I'm feeling very good, I'm in a very good head space re now. So that's why I feel like it's a great time advice session number for baby. I'm going to be giving you guys advice today about things that are going on in your lives. A game
as you guys on the twitter at age, podcast on Twitter, for some questions and things that you need advice on, and so damn disconnect. Should the shit with the on give you some advice I love doing these continue to do them whenever it feels right to me and when for I dont have another idea, but that don't that doesn't take away from how much I love doing these ones. I just like to say these for like a rainy day when I'm out of things to talk about, and I need you guys to help me a little bit but regardless Advice session number four in here's to many more cheers, is hit. My mere em We re into it. Let's start out this podcast with a bang, really first question any advice on how to be friends with your
is your. I have never been able to do this, I've never we to do this successfully. To be honest, although I feel like there is certain axes that could be friends with now some definitely not in some bs. depending on how much I am at them. So, but there get me some that I would definitely be friends with now. I mean not like best friends but like clothes with its or not close with either actual. That's not a good word I can definitely be cordial with some of them. I would never be. close with an ex. I don't know that just doesn't seem right to me, also if you like in a new relationship that just messy, so I definitely wouldn't want to be best ease with an ax, but I think that the key is spending a lot of time apart.
I'm talking about a year on time out five years. I'm talking about. Fully become a new person and then reunite once you have completely different, lives. Maybe you guys are in relationships now a different people. Maybe you know you guys, whatever, like there's no feelings involved at all any more. I think, if you rushed back into a friendship too soon you're gonna have a little kissy time on accidents and then it's gonna be there more painful when everything ends again. Inevitably, so I recommend, literally not speaking to this person for as long as fucking possible and then you feel, like you genuinely dont care about them anymore. In that way, then, I think, being friends could work otherwise, now unless the relationship with something where you go.
never really like each other, because that happens. I think that sometimes you pull thoroughly I don't like this person anymore and it's like a mutual thing. I think Scenario- you can probably friends lot sooner, but if you are actually really loved this person, your asses going away for a while before that shit malt sting, but I also think that at a certain point in your life, like five years, do go. I I don't really see why you would want to be friends with your ex like in most scenarios. I think most scenarios you're like that. That's not a friendship that I need, but. If it is something that you want, then wait until you can, Leo over it, you kissed many other people and you dated other people, hopefully or you ve, just found yourself and fell in love with yourself in a way where you don't give a fuck about the might that anymore, the
its friend time next, I needed buys on staying motivated. I do aerobics gymnastics and I've been training at home since March. It's not the same anymore, and I feel it is pointless to keep training hard. I totally guy I was a competitive cheerleader, o Emma bruises operator and shut the fuck up. Ok now I remember during the summer being it later, we would just be training in training in training in training, and it felt like that was no end in sight and there is also no leg immediate goal because competition season would be so far away. That age is vulgar training for nothing, at least to me The thing that you need to remember is that you will be back in the gym back competing back performing whatever
eventually, and it's gonna feel so good when you get out there and you finally get to go back into your thing. Don't give up. Ok,. You're, going to be little bit angrier yourself. If the I'm comes around to get back in the gem in you quit. You know I mean, because that time will come and for now now. Just try to enjoy it as much as possible, but it's going to be so good when you get back into it and just picture that every time your training in your struggling spilling when get back in the gem. This shit's gonna be fucking, awesome, arrayed. Somebody said I need it ashen advice, I'm a guy, and I really want to upgrade my style for school this year, I don't know how what are some good basics to have in stores to shop at ok. I got you so obviously I don't really know your style, but I would say a good Para Dickies, a good pair of genes Levi's
preferably vintage. Also, if you like a more comfortable Jean because I love vintage Levi's, but are also really annoying to find so Levi's will do a nice pair of blue jeans that have like a great wash on them. Ok, go to sneakers high top converse, for example. Maybe some air force one maybe some Nike Dunk lows, maybe some vans. I mean a good go to shew, like maybe even some cool He Blazer maids or whatever those are stuff like that. I have a go to sneak her and then get a bunch of cool hoodies, a bunch of cool tee shirts. All of that you can get that stuff from urban outfit as you can go to a thrift store and go into the hoodie section. In the t shirt section. They have a bunch of cool, but Isn T shirts, that our continent sing that are super affordable. So that's a great move, you know maybe get a cool hat. You cannot
thrift, hats, although I don't recommend that goes. I feel like that's a recipe for life. De pop all says a lot, a really good stuff that can be really affordable. If you just like a vintage t, shirt or Nike Blazer Midge, is on de pop: you can get some really nice discounts and some more unique pieces. So that is my recommendation and if you want to know who to look for fashion in spell, go on pinterest and look up your vibe. If you like one addressed kind, a skater boy, look up, skater boy, evidence bow. If you want to be a little bit me or casual, you can just look up cool, teen boy, casual outfit info and go there. Also, you can just look up trendy it's in general gets him in spoke from there. You can do this next, somebody said bison feeling in experience, I'm nineteen and never kissed a boy or had a talking phase of somebody. It feel like it won't happen ever because everyone's. So I had to me
I felt every touch on this, but where they want to touch John it again, because I feel it I didn't give this little piece of advice, I have already done others in another episode, I'm convinced cause. I've was also inexperienced growing up kind of kind of. I was seventy kind of behind in my friend group a little bit, but here's something that I dont think I mentioned before and its that. If your with this there's. Definitely a guy in your situation. That's also going to the same thing not everybody super experienced okay, so there somebody for everybody in there you can be? Somebody is super experience that, like can help make you feel comfortable through the process. Obviously not a fucking creepy grows way, but like in a night nurturing way. That's not creepy. Just remember that, you're, not dealing with this alone, there's a lot of guys that are in the same spot as you
and there's also a lot of guys. That would love to me. You know date you and help you with that process, so there's nothing to worry about in. There is no rush. somebody said: do you have any advice on for giving people? Well, yes, but I it takes me some time. Sometimes. I think that the key to forgiving people is fully heal from it and to give yourself space from that person and to really reflect on
why they did what they did and in a lot of scenarios. I think that putting yourself in their shoes truly for a minute in being like. Why did they do what they did? Let's say your boyfriend cheated on you ex boyfriend. Hopefully they treated on you and you like. Why would Jernam Iowa cheat on me? I was such a good girlfriend what the fuck, but then you think about it. You're like hey he's, been having a lot of self esteem issues and his parents have been fighting, and you know, he's doing really bad at school, and you think about all the things that are possibly going wrong in their life and you try to play solving their shoes for a second and Billig. Why did they do what they did and then, if you can put yourself in their shoes, And see how much there struggling or see how maybe even I believe they are or
be how hot, how high of a horse thereon and you can. Understand that side, I think that it's a lot easier to forgive leg, for example, I had somebody, my wife who, like said some shit, things about me behind my back once we kind of ended our friendship of sorts, and I heard that from a lot of people and they were like oh yeah. This person said this about you whatever, like that's crazy and I was like well number one, that's not true, but number to like that's just rude and disrespectful towards me. You know what I mean and I thought about it for a while, and I realize okay, this person is really struggling with deputy in general. They have no idea who they are their super unstable. They have really bad self esteem issues. Of course, they're going to say this shit about me, they're struggling,
feel bad for them, and not only a pitiful way, like literally unlike this person's, actually struggling in That is why they are being mean to me. That is why their treating me badly there. Find a tear me down because they think that I'm gonna doing better, than they are in a sense which is not necessary, true at all, but that's the way that they're looking at it naturally unfortunate. You know so I in a sense, this person love and light in my mind and said that you towards them, instead of resenting them. and see how it goes, and I and I and I try to do that, and it doesn't Waze work. Some people really piss you off and it like that shit stings and it sticks it stings and it's steaks and then that's in those scenarios. You know you just have to wait that out, but really really try to put
Calvin someone else's shoes and even if it seems like they have the upper hand. For example, if, like your boyfriend, cheats on you right and then goes and gets another girlfriend the next day and you're like what the fuck and then you're just left their heart broken in single and you're like what thou they got like they got to do something wrong and then like they obviously got to get their taken either to wall you after think about the morals on a person that's making such a sad decision like that, such like a not admirable. That's not an admirable thing to do yeah they might be getting there cake eating it to, but Do you wanna be wired like that? Do you have a brain that works like that, where you could just cheat on site, buddy and then get with another girl. The next at, like you know, I'm saying like do you what a thing like that, no, whatever she does
cause you down the line. You're gonna end up pretty sad and lonely. If you don't change that mindset so. You don't want to be like that right, you know We, like you, somebody who's in Empath who feels things who treats be bored respect because, even though you might get fucked over a little bit here and there you actually have the upper hand, even when it doesn't feel like that and so try To understand these things in flushing them out can help you forgive because part of forgiving is almost feeling bad for them about why they mistreated. Do you now, though, I regret at two com is a bitch. My friends Karma is a bitch. Thank you. Do Athena club response during this episode of anything goes obviously saw.
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really struggling with body image issues like really bad and I was. Super down in the dumps about a constantly- and they were always like what the fuck is wrong with you, like why are you so bombed out all the time and it Avonlea put a strain on our relationship. I mean there's a lot of strains on that one, but, like you know still, that was definitely huge, you and I we need lot of other mental health things that are struggling with simultaneously and like he just had no idea. Because I never told him about it, because I didn't feel comfortable to do that. As I felt like, I will pardon me felt like you know, there is a potential that he would invalidate the feelings that I had, which, like that Fair of me to assume you know who knows that price he wouldn't have even been the case. He probably have totally accepted them or whenever, but like you know, I don't know so.
was like so afraid of feeling invalidated are feeling like. I was a burden or that it was something to be ashamed of or whatever and eight, it put a strain on the relationship, and I think that something that should motivate you open up about these things is that it can affect the relationship negatively and if it's a relationship, the EU really care about. Then you know being up front about these. Things can really help your significant other understand why you are paving the way that you do so, if you're in a bad mood one day, they might take it personally, but really it has nothing to do with them. You're just dealing with really bad anxiety that day, and so you know after dating fur, a few years now or whatever. I've found that my relationships, are so much stronger. If I am being honest about these things and if I did not good day. I say it is sometimes hard sometimes takes me so and to get it out. Sometimes I have to go
myself up a little bit, but once I do number one, it proves to me that my significant other cares about me, because I can see that the by the way that their responding that they empathize with me in that they love me in care about me through there actions to my venting, my mental health whatever, but all Oh, it allows them to help me. You know I mean they can't help if they don't know. So I think that when you catch herself in a mood or you catch yourself, you in a bad spot right leg. Let's say you going, you hang out with them in your really bummed out in their like trying to figure out what's on, and you just don't get into it. That's a great time to get into it and that's a great time. Start. That first conversation is when its clear, something's going on, you know, I mean, and there obviously canapes
at the summit is going wrong. You started by this being like listen, I'm bomb doubt, and I don't want you to think that it's about you, because it's not at all all this is not. I don't want you to take this personal and like resent me, because I can guarantee this has nothing to do with you. I hate bringing this up. I don't like talking about it. It makes me uncomfortable, it makes me feel like I'm a burden, but I really wanted to. Let you in on this part of my life, because you are one of the two people in my life- and you need to know about these things so that we can have a better understanding and our relationship can be just that much stronger, and so you know talking about that with them when you're struggling in like when you specifically struggling, I think could be a great way to open the conversation and then, after that it just gonna kind of Oh right, I feel, like they'll, probably end up checking in on you, hopefully seeing how you're doing seeing how you're feeling that day and like you know the conversations wool change and shift, because now they have knowledge of that EL
end of your life in your brain, and so am I not for me like I've, really bad anxiety so bad it sometimes not all time, but sometimes is really bad, and so in a very recent relationship. I've leg had to open up about these things, of it in I, keep it late, but I I like get anxious in a spiral myself into these fuckin crazy, deep, dark holes about shit all the time and my friends and family are all used to it but leg when you're in a new relationship. You need to be like. Listen, I'm really in anxious person, and I fuckin DR myself, nuts, with this shit and like, even though it's probably a rational and dumb. It really will free me out and I'm gonna need to bring these things up to you sometimes or like bring shit up to it's stupid leg just to get it off
it has to some extent in like it. You know the kind of having your significant other be aware of that almost relieves alot of your discomfort, and it makes you feel like a lot safer I don't have explained that well, but anyway, ok next one summit, said hey, I am summers, my friends shea me for my body count because its lower than theirs. How do I, I feel like shit about myself because I haven't been with as many people sometimes it makes me feel like I'm not good enough. I love you, so this question is awesome, but I also want to touch on both sides, like your body, count being really high or really low I'll start with your body coming really low. I mean I don't I've never really understood why people put so much pressure on body count in general like things like that are so personal and they're so different for everybody and, like you know, being intimate with people has said,
different meanings to everybody for some people? I can easily be some it's really not emotional, I just not emotional at all. In France,. people, it is really emotional and it's just totally based on how your wired- it's like, if you like mustard or not right. It's it's like it's oh different for everybody, and I have so many friends that are one in so many friends that are the other. Unlike the thing about it is that there is so much judgment in division between the people. that are less emotional, about hooking up with people and then the people that are promotion about it and there doesn't need to be you. Don't I mean? It doesn't really matter in its. Nobody else is business okay. So if your friends are harassed, You about one way or another if they're saying oh yours is too low, like your prude, whatever you can be like. Why does it matter
who cares, who fuckin Catholic? Who cares? I don't I'm picky. And like there just hasn't been a lot of opportunities. For me. Sorry, what do you want do both can make our Jeremy that sitting over there, like? What do you want me to do? I don't like Jeremy. And I'm sorry that you, like Jeremy, cause he's an asshole. That's really too bad for you. you should go make out with Jeremy and wanting make sure our two days later duncombe crying to meet like why I just ownership rights, anybody's business, but then also, if somebody you know, on the other hand, if somebody's saying like, oh you would you get with too many people like that's grows, well as long as you're being safe about it in your being responsible and you're, getting a tested and you're wearing doing sort things, and you know whatever,
and you're, not putting anybody else at risk, what's the problem what's the proper? Who cares? Who cares and also it just? Is it so dumb to me, and I think that, like reminding your friends like that it is, it is so unimportant, just Bingley, listen who cares, I'm on my own journey sister, I dont need I it is my thing it you don't need to be commenting on that it. That's so personal, you don't mean you can make it lighten fund fun to. I know that, like confrontation, that serious can be really awkward, and I don't like doing it either. She could be like well, you could literally off like well. I guess I just don't have a good game as you. I just can't pull on that point.
people like you. So maybe you need to teach me some advice and like just keep it light, but just like remember that it's none it's none of their business and you can do whatever you want and. who people hook up with and don't hook up with his nobody's business, and that's next Sammy said I've been talking to this guy since January, ask me my favorite movie, what shows them into all that we ve been tongs since then, but definitely make a move. He is response. My instagram stories asking the dumbest things just an excuse to talk to me. I have really talked for like three weeks. What do I do to should idea DM him, I'm so frustrated. I feel like he's waiting for me to make a move in quotes he's older, ok. So, in my opinion, I think that you should make a move. If your interested, because I think a lot of times, people will get discouraged if they feel like they're, not getting this
effort in return or their knocking out any effort at all in there. Just taking a hint that doesn't really exist like- probably think that you're not into it, and they probably feel kind of stupid right now in that's, probably why they stop talking to you, because there are like well if this person cares. The now hit me up. I already did my part. I put in my effort, I'm down here. Not ever he's going to persevere through the reduction or through the minimal effort, the people that do our special, but that not a lot of people do that. So I think that you give him a taste of his own medicine and you send him a dumb, pointless dm. It's something that if you guys end up dating you'll laugh about later. So that's fine. Try to hang out with him
honestly. If you there's live closer, there's any opportunity to hang out be like hey, I miss talking you like. We should actually hang out in person like I. You know I want to get too. Are you I baby you? You I think it Aubert's revising this episode of anything goes withstand being at an all time high. The one thing that makes me feel right actively sane in relatively good about myself, is going out for a little jog. It makes me feel calm, but it also makes me feel productive because actually I'm takin care, my body
and I get all sweat out and the some endorphins there are pretty much no cons, etc. That running kind of of one thing that I feel feel has been made clear in the last few months is that we all need to look out for each other in come together to protect the things that we care about, and that includes the planet mother earth. All birds is on a mission to leave the planet in better condition than they found it. Their shoes are made from premium natural materials, which is an obvious plus in addition to being carbon neutral. Their products are also comfy, which is huge for me,
cause, I'm just trying to become me all the time, really all birds measures, the carbon footprint of all of their products and listed on every pair of shoes, socks and undies chiseling nutrition labels on food, but for your closet they want you to know what makes up that footprint number c of all the info. You need to make it better purchase for the planet. They look cool, they feel great. They match every single exercise, outfit, which is very important to me and obsessed really all birds knows that we can create a more sustainable future, but only if we hold ourselves accountable with all birds feel confident, knowing that your rang a product, that's doing right by your feet and the planet learn more about their sustainable, goddesses and find your parent allbirds dot com today. Thank you all birds. Seventy seven past relationship led me to having trust issues, and now I don't know how to open up to people, because I'm afraid to any advice on what I should do. I already talked about this again, another advice session, I think, but I have a little bit of a different opinion,
because I've had some life experience recently. That is like changed the way I look at some things be patient with yourself, ok. I know I've said in the past that you need to remember that not one person is the same from the last everybody is so different like a snowflake. Ok, so you can't hold your new significant other accountable for what you're old significant other date, like that's, just not fair to your new significant other, but at the same time that's really hard to do, and I've said in the past, but I dont think I realized until I was put into the situation, how hard it truly is. I think what you need to do is be patient with yourself and let your new significant other prove you wrong, ok Let's say: you're used to your old, significant other cancelling plans constantly.
And it was always super disappointing. These you get super Excel did and then they end up cancelling answer. how every time your new significant other makes plans with you, your constantly expecting them to cancel, wait for them to prove you wrong, dont give them an attitude, give them the benefit of the doubt a few times, and if they do the same things than that's a conversation, you too have, and you need to be Listen if this is something that, like I've, dealt with for a long time in it like I take it personally in a really hurt my feelings, I I I don't need you can be making plans in wages hands like that's a great. I mean that's of decent example or If you use your significant other cheating on you, for example, and so every time you're not with your significant other you're paranoid about them, cheating way for them to prove you, Call them at a random time of the day, if you're feeling really anxious and see if there was any one
I mean there's ways that they can hide it, but it would be pretty crazy if they were do things like that and let them prove you wrong and then soon you'll trust them. You know I mean, and you won't be tying. You old, significant others actions to news again, significant other because you're gonna see that they are different based on their actions, and I think that getting to know your new person more and more and more and more will help you grow and move past your trust issues, the always be there. They will I don't think that those things go away. I really don't, but I do think that thou helps, and I also think that if you feel comfortable enough talking to your new person about your past, unlike what people have done to you, can really
two so that they know what triggers you to be super anxious and have trust issues like let's say you're, not the type of person that can't be text it all day, because when your ex did that that method, or cheating like telling them that so that they understand that really helps because then they might be like oh wow, Ok, I'm going make sure that I'm texting you five times a day, minimums that you know that I'm like I'm still here and that's ok, if you need that, especially in the beginning, because being in like toxic relationships, I mean that it does a number, and so If you're with somebody who's truly good for you, there totally can understand that you might need a little bit of extra reassurance because of what you ve been through vice versa. So that's that next.
Some is that how do you get your friends to do really cool share with you example: road trip, I think the key to this is in the beginning. You might need to be the one that initiates it. You might need to be the one that does the planning you might need to come up with the idea. Because they're up their Brian, I going to do it on their own, if they're, not that I per person but kind of telling your friends like hey this weekend, we should- really do a road trip like I'm, I'm really. I have this idea. I think that we should go to San Francisco and I think that we should go through shopping, and then you know we can stay here at my like cousin's house and whatever giving your friends a fully developed plan for them to be excited about. I think that that usually works are being like. Okay, this weekend we're doing a barbecue. I will get all the groceries you guys to show up at this time, and I think that Kind of being the one who initiated in the beginning is going to really help create that kind of culture within your friend group, because I think that it's really easy for run groups too kind.
Get bored and end up doing like boring shit like sit in a basement four hours. I used to do that with my friends and I school and it would get really Really quick because we would all just be doing- a thing and we weren't doing anything fund so that everybody would end up arguing. I feel like if you do chat with your friends it actually created. hunger bond in a healthier friendship began, just sitting around and doing nothing with your friends creates drama, and let me be the one to tell you that. Ok, so somebody said I was sorry with my therapist yesterday, but life values. She told me to think if somebody I look up to and think about what their most important values were. So what are your time? by values and life will number one huge problems Thank you so much for looking up to me in any way. That makes me want to cry broad gonna start crying after this
I would say my top five values. I really want to get into this number. One, I think, is people in my life to be honest, which is crazy because like I do consider myself to be very independent, but I also think that my relationships with people that I love is my number one priority and making so that they know it and making sure that they feel cared about and I'm not perfect out, You know I tend to be somebody who can get. Little bit self centered when I'm working or doing things like that, and I dont sometimes forget. Sometimes a check in people as often as they should and that meaning that I've been working on for years now but pray. Organizing the boy in your life and keeping this relationship strong and dislike. You know
a good relationship with your family and with your closest friends to the best of your ability that something that is one of my biggest values in life and even as those things of all people come and go, no that's ok, just whatever relationships that you have in your life in the present trying to put as much love and effort into those as I possibly can, and making those people feel safe in comfortable with me and like they truly have a good friend or good family member towing on so just being, therefore people, but I love in having a strong relationship with them, is number one number two is definitely health. The health of myself and everybody around me. I think sometimes as a young person I tend to forget about this, which is you know,
Ignorant and naive and dumb, but you know, I think, that just taking care of myself as best they can and exercising eating things. good for my body and just we're all doing my best to stay healthy and just be no kind of almost manifesting in praying and religious, but like praise only where they can use for everybody this health in my life and just in general, like health, is so important, and so you know that's definitely number two number three. I would say I dont know if this is a value, but I think that humbleness, I don't know, that's a value, but being humble, I think that. Others being humble and trying to say, humble myself is really important to me just because I feel, like you have to
me real with yourself about what you're, what what's goin on. Ok- and I think that being humble, allows you to be a better friend, be a better family member. be a better person in general. I think it allows you to see the world truly is in a way. I also think that it allows you to grow too, because if you have like this massive ego, good luck growing, because every time you fuck up you're, never gonna think that. it was, your fault you're, never gonna holders hold yourself accountable and so you're never gonna grow. But if your humble than you are, ok shit like I fucked up here apologize or I'm to make this better and I'm nominal learn from this. But if you have a fat ego, good luck, number four, I would say honesty as well just trying to be honest and transparent, with people as much as possible and
not sugar coating shit. obviously a white lie here and there let's say your friend puts on an outfit. You think it's hideous, and you say that is the best outfit I've ever seen, I'm arguments shit like that. But I'm sorry, I'm like important stuff being honest with yourself being honest with others about you, know the big hard hitting stuff and just being honest in its parent to the best of your ability. That's always in nobody's perfect at that. Ok, I'm not saying that being perfect, that that is something that like is my now you are the to me is more striving to do that as much as possible, and, last but not least, I would have to say, loyalty to people. I think that this is especially in relationships. I've just always been. Really loyal and made it my goal
in life to be as little as possible and again, perfect eminence urge heated on anybody. So that's not what I'm saying here, but I'm not perfect. You know I mean, but I that surrounding myself with oil people- and being loyal. Myself is a huge global for me, and I do my absolute best to have that in my life, whether it's me or if the people that around me I think that when you find loyal people, whether it's your parents are your siblings or your signature, other or your best friend like finding loyal bull, is so important because lie if there's a lot of shit at you and you have people in your life, the you no would be with you through thick and then- and I think for me, because I'm in the public eye and things are a little bit more shaky for me. Finding loyalty is really difficult and a lot of people, that's want to switch up on you real, quick, and I think that finding somebody who's loyal enjoy.
you in and being loyal and genuine myself to others, to the best of my ability is super important me moving on now Somebody said Emma: how do you have such good fashion sense? That is really sweet. Thank you so much. I am it's I really appreciate it honestly. I just really like spend a lot of time looking at clothes, And seeing how people wear clothes and looking at clothes from the past- and you know it's just see like looking at south going on pinterest- getting spired, looking on people's instruments, who I love their style and taking little bits and pieces from everything and making it my own to the best mobility and that Kind of how I've created my style, also just like finding fun ways to keep my closet fresh, whether that's drifting or you know, working with new brain
and then I'm excited about. I am constantly trying to like make my style better and its. Through a lot of phases, some have been really get someone really bad. Seventy been some bad ones for sure, but I think right now, like I've really been trying to like put the outfits that I'm super pumped about in that also kind of take me out of my comfort zone a little bit. Ok next, somebody said to the boy my town are so dull and have zero fashioned sense in south, but like if I want a boyfriend out, I mean you. People are out of my town, especially now that we can't travel love. You allow me recommendation is to not look at all in. My recommendation is to focus on yourself right now. I think I have addressed a question like this before, but really I mean, of course you can always get a dating app, which I don't recommend not safe and scary. To me, but that's my opinion. You know
go on Instagram dams whatever, but I honestly think you use this time where none of the guys are funny or criteria to really like manifest what you want and to folks, yourself in finding your own identity, so that when you do find that that man He is ready for you and your ready for him. You know they mean, and you have the confidence that you need to be in a healthy relationship, and you have the foundation. Somebody said I'm still in high school and in that gaol that doesn't have a friend grew by tend to be everybody's friend. How can I deal with feeling left out of hang out constantly like not being anyone's first choice ever? I totally know what this feels like and I've gone through phases like this. I think that if you really really want to get closer to some these people, you know you might have to make the conscious effort, because I think that for people who tend to be floaters when it comes to friend groups, where the kind of floating around to everybody
I think a lot of people tend to think that those people don't want a closer relationship, then just being the floater like, I think that people always assume that people like you, don't really care that much. in reality it seems like you know you do, which has told the normal unnatural, but they might also thing: do you have you no other friends and that you're just gonna hang out them sometimes, but I think that you know making an effort to have may be find one person out of these groups that you feel a really good connection with, but dont feel that close try to develop a friendship, maybe ask that person to hang out one on one and start to develop these friendships individually, so that can get to know them better and then you know you can either find somebody who's your go to person or once you have you know, a close relationship with one person in a group, then there's a decent chance that you're you're gonna be integrated into these group activities. Allow more because you have kind of one person
who knows the truth about you and your story and how you're feeling in these situations. But in order that you know vent these things to someone, you need grow relationship with them. So I think the first step would be to try to find somebody in these groups that you feel drawn to an trotting out with a one on one. somebody said. What can I do if I really want another dog, but don't have the time to look after it. I thought about getting a cab cats hate me we're one getting a cat is super, easy It's not, and you obviously have to be cleaning litter box and all that. But just because, like a few cats hate you mean that all of Morgan, a? U, cats ten do cling dude,
Personal there are around the most I feel like. So if you got a cat, I have a great feeling that they would grow pretty good bond. If I can make Frankie like me, which is one of my cats at any cat, can like anybody because Frank he's a little bitch and only likes me so like that says something, but also don't ever get something that you don't feel like. You can take care of, because you're just going regret it down the line and it's going to cause so much more work for you. So really think about this, and also maybe they just get excited about getting a dog in a few years. Like start thinking about that and like what kind of dog you want to do some research and spend the time that you would normally spend petting a dog or walking it doing, research on what type of dog breed you want when you're older and you know you can try to find one when you go to rescue or adopt or whatever I recommend rescuing that's what I will do with my pets, but yet do some fun surgeon whatever and spend your time doing. Instead. Also, I really want to touch on that. I really really recommend rescuing animals if your pay,
I'm getting an animal, I mean obviously teach thereon I totally get it. You know. Sometimes you want a certain breed. Let's say you want, then these harbour allergenic in you don't know you can get that from you know whatever. But if it's possible, look around these animal shelters in so you can find cuz. You know those animals needed the most and they can be really really amazing and I rescued both of my dogs at my mom's dogs and then both of my mom's cat and then both of my cats are rescues, and it just feels really to do that, because you know you're giving an animal a home that could potentially be killed. So I mean it just feels good, but also not Gill Tribune to anything you can do it. ever you want, and I will never judge you and I'm just giving my little two cents in my little advice, but whatever
text. Somebody said how do I deal with boys only wanting me for my body. There are some exceptions, but I'm seventeen and most boys. I've talked to just pretended to like me, so that they could have me in some sexual way. Even friends of mine have ended our friendship because they wanted to make it sexual, and I didn't and destroys my self esteem, because I feel like the only thing. Lovable got me is my boss, which I already don't like it's a loaded question, but I was wondering if you had any advice. I love you one. So sorry, dealing with this, I can guarantee that you will find somebody who likes you for every single part of you, and that is absolutely certain, but I feel like I've actually struggled with the opposite problem. So, like people will like me, but like this happens, a lot like a lot of people will like me, but not be like, oh my god, you're personally, so good but you're. Like kind of They don't they're not really attracted to me, especially like before I went through puberty super late and was really bloomers. Like you know it took
a really long time the kind of have any attracted me at all, because I just was so like under developed, and it was tough because it was like. You know it made me feel so unattractive in leg, really gross and embarrassed or whatever, and even after I went through fugitives. I've had phases were too slight, and feel good about myself- and I, like you, know whatever in than that, showed through and the nobody like me in whatever. So I think the key is to be patient and to remember that that is not true. Dont give these people the timing if you start a sense of their using you for something shut them down? Immediately, I can I miss you that somebody will come around that likes you for you and you'll know it when it happens, but for now just keep shoving. Those people are your life one by one. If you have to, I don't care, because
people don't deserve you and they don't deserve your body either, because that's not How this shit works, you know they mean and I can see how that would affect your perception of yourself negatively, but you have to remember that, especially in these ten years, a lot of the a lot of people are not making decisions with their mind their using their weenie. You know, but I can guarantee they I do grow out of it. A lot of them do not all them, but a lot of guys grow out of it, and you know, I think you just need to be patient and hold yourself, do a super high standard and don't let these people you know, use you remember the you're bad bitch and that you deserve the utmost risks
act and appreciation from any guy that gets to speak to you period. That is the damn truth and don't accept anything less. This will pass. I promise Somebody said: how should you act with your close friend after they gain a huge following? I get that nothing should change what may be a way of being supportive or help with the hate that they get and what, if they get kind of distance free from you for a bit, I maybe you can talk out of experience- I love you. I just read that so badly. I literally cannot read apparently Day you know. To be honest, I think yes, definitely. super normal. I mean that's key, but also like you know, checking in on them and being like hey Azure, because your and doing Juny Detour about this. I'm always here to listen just being like a shoulder to crime. An ear to talk too, is great, but also, I think, giving
them. Space can be really important to because they think when you like Gagne following can like really really like rock your world, and I think that sometimes you Dear friend may not be emotionally available. They are dealing with something that's like really life altering, and so I think that you know being understanding in kind for giving of them in the beginning, when they're trying to figure out what the fuck is going on, they might not be like able to be as available for a little bit and I think, being understanding of that is a super helpful, but also always being there. At the same time, I think is really helpful and it might seem like a wall. That's not fair. It to you as a friend but also it passes, sounds like they're gonna even out and be normal again at some point. It like their brain, even out in the figure it out, but in the very beginning, like there's a lot, a turbulent stuff that goes on, suggest being supportive being.
Shoulder to cry on. You know inviting them to things that will help get them off their phone. All of that is so important and being understanding to have. Sometimes they can't respond to attacks all the time or sometimes there. You know they go missing for a little bit because their dealing with the craziness that it can be. I think that that really really helpful. Somebody said I have a really hard time with living in the present moment. I'm either super nostalgic and stuck in the past, where I worry about the future too much. I feel like this leads me to being sad for no reason and anxious advice. I got you I think that the key to this is finding things to do in day to day life that force you to live in the moment, going to be to their friends going for a drive, The windows down listening to music, really loud stuff like that forces you to live in the moment, do activities force you to live in the moment that are fun and exciting. That's why, for me, I've recently
the huge priority to celebrate life on the way. Hence you don't mean I used to never do that, but recently I realise that you know being around the p, that I love and like celebrating being alive like doing things are going to the beach and, like you know, going on long drives or like going in getting really fun food from. Diner or, like you know, whatever, unlike doing those things with people that like make, you feel good. That's us up the force you to live in the moment in That's what pulls you out of that new sound mine said because I think that you tend to get a subject when you're, like all my colleagues, have so much fun back then. Well, if you literally force yourself to make new memories, you'll end up forgetting about the past, because you're thinking about the present and then day by day the pass will get further in the past. In your
able to push those thoughts away so much easier. Somebody said how to know when it's time to separate from long time, friends or how to set better boundaries, lay in the games that that you don't have to separate. I mean I think that, like there is obviously some situations where, like you, need to just cut this person off, I think that if there be toxic serbian manipulative, if their judgment, all if there too clingy in like a negative way. That's like controlling those are all reasons, in my opinion. Just gonna hit the road. Sorry, but if you think that, like this is a relationship that you think could lay class and that you don't think needs to go bye bye time, I think that you just start acting really busy, and you know you might have to say a little white lie here and there. But I think that creating some distance between you and this person in a way that seems organic
can not only give you peace of mind to see like is somebody I need in my life or really want in my life this, just somebody that I'm keeping in my life to avoid conflict right, and I think that getting some space from them will help with that. But then also you know it Allow you to have more time to hang out with new people. It'll give them time to do the same and it'll make the relationship in the friendship less dependent. So that's my advice on that. Anyway, I'm going to wrap this up, so I need to save some topics for the next time. I decide to do it by session cuz, I'm starting to feel like there's only so many problems that people have in this world, but anyway. I hope that this was helpful and I hope that these are you repetitive, but I really enjoyed doing them and I love hanging out with you. as for the hour that I do and because robbing an amazing day, and I love you all, and I'm really hung he and I need coffee and I am have a migraine, so out of here. I love you also much thank you for tuning in. Thank you.
For being awesome and I will see you next week piece out another. Thank you to all birds for funding. This episode of anything goes. Now we all need to look out for each other in come together to protect the things that we care about, and that includes the planet that we all share. That's why all birds is on a mission to leave the planet in better shape than they found it with their shoes being made from premium natural materials. The shoes feel good. They look good in their great for my little mid afternoon. Jogs with all birds feel confident, knowing the ring a product that stewing right by your feet and the planet learn more about sustainable practices and find your parent Aubert. Stockholm today, thank you all birds,