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#146: Culture Abuse, Finding Peace in Punk Rock

For a long time, Culture Abuse's 31-year-old frontman David Kelling didn't want to perform in public. As all five members of the San Francisco-based punk band opened up about things they've tried to work through, Kelling, who has Cerebral palsy, said he felt that the frontman is "supposed to be good looking, in shape and this and that ... and so it is hard" when he "didn't really have any examples" of lead singer/songwriters who played with disabilities, and now that the band goes on tour, he added that "it's also hard to be the person now that is an example."
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
For maybe see Ten percent happier vodka This is a highly unusual version of the ten percent happier podcast the most times we ve ever had to bleep any guest or guests ever and probably forever but well worth it. This isn't. This is usual in in a variety of ways. Will one one way that has been a highlight early on? Is that we can it did it backwards? Will we get to meditation at the very end, so we just stepped back and tell the full story. I've been kind of absurd. with music for a long time that the first thing I do every morning, it's this. Fleeing grain habit. Is I look or among the first things I do as I look at the website, pitchfork which every
they put up new reviews, verdant fur records, and I don't know where I saw a review for the following band. I don't think it actually was on page four Bruce somewhere. I also look at the website met a critic where they aggregate reviews for movies tv shows and and new music, and I think that programme saw the reviews for band called culture abuse and I had heard of them actually because they had done some really great songs with another man, and of that I really like called waves and its w a v v p s. I think, as have waves spells there, as I said, it was in their record. This is maybe a couple weeks ago and I loved it and I tweeted about it. I was never tweet about anything other than my son or meditation, and I tweeted about it, basically just saying that this record is wonderful, records. I've heard in memory were literally
but song is catchy they come out of pop punk tradition, more punk than tradition in San Francisco, which has a long history of a venerable history of pump music dating back two green day and beyond, and so there there definitely on the heavier and but you know the sound a little bit like sort of a more cuddly nirvana or the strokes, and but that the outcome is fantastic, although, as you I do fear on some level for them that the fact that I love them and am forty seven years old and lame is not a good sign for them, but anyway, a the record is fantastic, so I tweeted about it. Now, thinking was going to go anywhere, but they rode back. It was something Joki along the lines of hey man. You should put us on tv. We have a lot to say, and I just said do meditate
and they said yes, I didn't believe them, but they said yes, so I said come on the podcast. on a lark, I said, come on a pike S and they said yes to that, and so go here the results, but after I, too was only loving album and then after having a little random twitter back and forth of them that I actually who killed. I didn't know anything about them. I want to google them. I found out some. I learned something really remark. Also it is even after I invited the Monti package is when I learned that what I think is kind of, line of the story or one of the headlines, which is the lead singer In the end, the guy rights, all the songs, David, had cerebral palsy and in fact in the one interview I found with him talk about how he's he wasn't until late, twenties, early thirties, where he's felt comfortable enough to play his.
In public, because he was just worried. What people think them and it made me think, are: is there any band? with any member who, you know, prominently tabled and I just couldn't Any other you'll hear in the interview that we do. I guess mentioned the grammar for deaf leopard, but that's a while, oh man, you can start out, he had an accident lost in Armand than learn how to play. You was amazing what he did very well he's the front. and of a band, and I can't think of any other example, and I think that's really incredible as you'll hear he's, an incredible person in his story is remarkable and, as are the stories of many of its of his band mates. I was little worried going into the interview because I thought what, if I don't like them- and I love the record so much, but they turn out to be phenomenally friendly and interesting. I say one other thing before we get your calls, which is that my son, my three, world Son Alexander.
Absolutely loves. It is banned and they're, not kids, music by any stretch. In fact, there are sometimes we can't play for him because of the language but he really was that we listen to it in the bathtub and is one saw called be kind to the bugs that he's faced with an eye is played around our house so many times that I can now recited from memory so it interview coming up and you'll hear more of it in a second sorry for the unusually long in trope, let's get outta voice, males my usual caveat, as you know, not a meditation teacher, not a mental health expert, just a reporter who likes to meditate so don't take my answer to seriously here go call number one honour to start now. Meditation and its task, but I think it's a factor, but my question is a new. I have already covered this somewhere along the way. What is your thoughts and feelings
on problem using anti depressants, and junk somewhere saw meditation. I thought a lot of people. I get a little words and has, when I hear from people that you know there, I'm looking to use meditation to get off medication. I'm not necessarily saying that's a bad thing, but I'm not anti modern medicine and if you're, a physician. And you agree that medication can be useful. I think it can be incredibly useful and there it's. Either or me you. You can take medical can and do meditation and do talk therapy and get your physical exercise. And sleep any well, you can do all these things and and almost for the same goal, which is making you saner, and so I am, I think, and I
I sense if you and your doktor are of a mind that its its effective in your case abso again, for it, it's him live saved the lives of countless people now, Are we over medicated? You know their allotted I believe we are- and I think that's a problem worth discussing but in an individual life. If again, if you're working with it a physician and you trust him or her. Then and I dont there's no shame in that game and if you ve got depression. That is not your fault. It's you know the beard the brain is an organ like any other organ, and sometimes they the problematic so long way of saying go for it. If you do in both at the same I think they can work really nicely in concert. Here's the second call again, this is not true, You know I was in the air, quick question for you. If you had to recommend one book or reading on you, ve come across
around medication or even more, is classical Buddhism that you read and studied over the last several years that you ve gone deeper into your own spirituality what book would you recommend or publication of you recommend your readers and why thank you, but that's a tough he just one. and then I guess my shower can do whatever I want. But our credit. play by your rule, Ike. Yes, I would go with you again with the cabin at that there are probably seven or eight book said I I would recommend if I'm gonna go with one. I would go with why Buddhism is true by Stephen Bachelor. Now, that's it He wrote Buddhism without believes that there is another book called why Buddhism is true by Robert Right, which is phenomenal but let me let me give that honourable mentioned, but Buddhism without beliefs,
is by Stephen Bachelor and is really written from the standpoint of somebody knows. A ton about Buddhism spent many many years of as a month, but is not a person of faith and just practice he's the one who is the first person I ever heard Say Buddhism, and that is not something to believe in something to do and and that that it is not the way I mean there are people who practise Buddhism is a religion. I think that I have no problem with that, but for many of us, secular, westerners or westerners, who subscribers to of another faith. Buddhism is, you know, really safe place because you can practise boot without having to believe in anything and Stephen does a great job. I do need to get even on this. I guess this is written many great books ever that was it. look book. I read by him and I think it's probably the most famous book, it's easy to read short and a greater
an intriguing explain or for you know why it's worth training your mind in this tradition and also why Buddhism is true as a great book to that step. Slightly longer, look slightly newer book by Robert? he's been on Pakistan and I recommend you listen to their pockets, so I guess I'm slightly cheating there. Ok, let's get to our guests this week. As mentioned the bands name, is culture abuse the lead singer who's? This is the first boy still here and we spend most of the time with him is David killing, although we do bring in the other members. Eventually, he really has, quite amazing story and, as I said at the beginning, we end up kind of circling back to meditation at the end. So this is slightly slightly different podcast in that sense of, but give it a chance, because I think you're gonna get allowed out of this, and I really think this is a phenomenal ban. Is the editor your hearing, your hearing, abandoned you'll be hearing a lot more about later on and also just fair working to his aid.
Nominal amount of believing that we had to do because of this where words, but these are punk rocker soap given can break anyway. GO culture, Abuse David, killing, I know where to start. I love your record, its awesome, please I am I haven't. I forget it doesn't twitter. I have not heard a record in a law time were literally every single song is ahead. I mean Greece on nails, it and music, people throw on either some sort of interstitial stuff or one really slow jammer. I don't know, but you guys just basically said we're swing, for it on every side was conquered because we had. We went in the studio like fourteen or fifteen songs, and we played the record for engineer and in every song and then like the first Dave's is like let's pick ten and then we're just gonna, get like this one, this one this one, this one pig tense, there's like for five more songs that didn't make the record but personally now might have
switched out in a couple or they are they put out an EPA, the air. Will we didn't like we just Why, though, I know your meeting, and that was part of that. There was crazy about making the record it was like. working with someone who who like aren't we like played the sun, one seemed like gag the sun in the sun, I listened to the sound Enola like I don't you think you and ended up with the catch. You songs, because somebody else was meagre. This is no. No I'd, think that even if we put fifteen fifteen song recording still witted, do. You would still be saying something to you Are you writing all the time for the most part? For I mean like an and that, like more of like the I'll write the like,
Bob Dylan, watch tower version and then give it to the ban, and then we played the Jimi Hendrix version known a mean so they'll rough it up for you, the air and probably just a medic yeah. That's it. We're trying to I mean, are you? Are you there isn't there? either I I've, been following. Whatever you want underground rock punk rock in Iraq. For most of my life said some some kid in sophomore year, home room slipped me mix tape with minute men on one side inside of you, on the other hand, there usually is pressure in this world. You you guys, can tell me more about the world too alien the listener on some level challenge the listener and some level of you seem to like. We have no problem just being catchy as hell, even though you ve got I mean the sound is wrapped up in a way that is, you know that works, but you're, not
I d like throwing a song is just completely unless cynical yeah I mean that was carrying the thing from the beginning of the ban it was like, which is due. was just like movie right, a song or were learning a song or something I was just like. Let's just make it easy, You know and is almost a thing that we like struggle with, sometimes are just to try to like if it doesn't like, if it feel natural. Then we just don't do it and then there's like there's a million song so far that we like started in just scrap cause. It's like we like, but then good ones. I mean Khazars the theory that, like every every song is like, ready, written anyone. You like, when you I feel like why I write a song and dance like a at one end and catch you? One it'll come out and like ten minutes, You know rather than like, like the ones I just I just don't serve your
struggling, that's video, struggling minute. Then it's not, then snap culture be son. You know like like in and so much of like, I feel like a thing of growing up like it as like. A musician is like when you play in and make your high command you. One like show everything that you can do so the guitar players like plane as much as we can and then drummers, like playing as much as we can and like you know, I've just tryin like show how talented they are when unlike now has just come out just write. Some someone can like Bob their head to like the entire time now to be like, like these weird parts that you just get thrown off, but you know back in the day, Green Dave, you guys from its when the green dig up popular all upon kids were
You know they sold out and belated their songs or to catchy. Do you get any feedback like you're, too beer to poppy You're, not Poland. I mean I've. They like but the day, even like nice to us in person like talking finer back, you know like in totally I feel like bird, like it it's Connally its can. We weird come from the Bay area. Khazar must feel like the barrier upon crock is like is like country to Texas, like your country, like, if you leave Texas and you play country like kind disowned, unless I feel like being a bay area punk bans like we're on like my interest in the Bay area banana scenes. We like left then inside out. Those guys do you now. Is you We are not against you that somebody who's forty seven and has a three year old kid and is a network news. Ankara likes
yeah? We that regional are released me? That's why? That is why we need a sick, calm. We love modern family, that's, why were we I saw that a long time ago Sunday with, but I feel like I was getting and myself that I should that's. That's gonna get myself into deep, but tell me about this. This you know the order of operations. Here, as I heard the record, I think I don't even know why I down redder review somewhere, then I remember that you had done these eyes with waves. Another band- and I love those songs and I a thorough Allison record and I loved it so much that I tweeted about adjust no reason whatsoever otherness once in a while, I moved to tweet about a record and he's pretty rare, and I did in this case in them we started talking on twitter.
And it was only after I said you should come on the package that I started searching you on any level, and I came across this fast training enery you gave so I found this out later, but you talk a little bit about how to think how you actually almost didn't players songs publicly for a long time I am for reason. Can you talk about that? Yeah I mean, like my whole, life I've been like writing like little puppy love like poppy, catchy, songs and but then there is like it's it's like you, I talk about how the EU are held back by some level of like self to stay up totally I mean Ike is reared like just out there, especially like I'd just like devoted my lifetime, the Puncak scene. I guess, if you were there, in, like hardcore ban are being like. So then in psych, weird like because I play guitar, but I can't I have
civil palsy affects effects there. I saw my body, so I can't I'm left handed, but play the guitar right handed. I can hold a pic with my inside just ran with, like my fingers, or pick with my thumb inside on play, guitar like that good or like or like in the classic sense of like paying star or like singing. I don't know, there's a million things it was just like. I was just so So shy I mean I don't know how to like exert a legislative role, and I mean yet it was a lot. It's a lot easier. I found two like just get up in front of people and dislike If you feel like a freak names like act like a freak in IRAN site, that's what it is, but it's hard to be like if you feel like a freak side like do something beautiful that really interesting it. So that really held you back from doing what you wanted to do yeah or am I didn't, really have any like
I didn't really have any examples. Could show me that I like, I always had like little demos and end like play from my friends are like record. Like will You know like well things and show people here and there, but then so I too like get to the point and thirty one took me this long to like. Actually right. So what did you think it would make fun of you or they wouldn't, except you? What? What did you think? I don't know. I mean it's one of those things that just it's like played in your head, like even when it won't we but our demo, it was like I want to do- is things in certain ways and than we did in the inner like than kind of cap, delightful live and we were just kind of partying doing doing a lot of a lot of stuff and just kind of kept a wild, and then we like, when in record another seven inch. and a car like still felt like I needed like Yale, even though one like seeing and, moreover carpet
yeah, and there was just things in my head like halves, like ok, we'll have run like head bangs like Jimbo, head bangs like in the band. You know, and I give I'm singing like pretty. You know like no one's gonna like that, like in the bands, even like that Just like we're weird things understanding, but then I'm like. Ok, what if you listen alike, if you're in the van with us and you listen to the music, that we listen to its Ike, no one, really listen like heavy music. So would it has assumed the on the road, You say that we dj by their night and your cousin did. Are there other examples of people? Who are you front men or women in a band or even in any prominent position in a band who have a disability everyone somewhere there's like some son of a
the ends with a whole. There will like their will hello. You like a like some that's how they are cowbell man. There is people there will be like move about. this ban and insulting grammar from dead letter obscure right right, I mean that's an example. I can come up with right, a boy in that's than he was like drummer and that's a question, and that is woods difficult. It's kind of like a weird, because I understand like I get everyone's like battle internally or or externally. You know, but there's plenty of bans with like females. They, you can look up. two and love, and there are some there's plenty of like bands with like people of color there's plenty of like all these bans are, you can look up to like to wear if you are like, if you
a female, and you want to play a ban. There's a million food good vans like look at and there's a million like good things, but then me it's like. Who, especially front man, though in the front aim like you're, always older, the front person in specific good looking in. and in shape again in like this in that and their immense experts to be like kind on the face of it. You know, and so it's like it's easier. For me, to feel comfortable in like a hard core banner and like a really weird punk ban in just be screaming my had offered just spinning Oliver myself for doing something, rather than to be like I'm menacing knew this very beautiful saw inasmuch as they there is There is an example, and I haven't really ever seen one, and so it is hard. It was hard and like I mean We ve been doing this and, like long enough now, it's gonna like five years with basically the same crew, so I feel
comfortable, like remorse, we're getting just be like. Who cares and like now, I think things a into a lot of it is as a ban, but before that it was heart. Just like no no examples, and then it's also. to be like the person now? That is like an example because it's like I dont know until the last night here too. I've never even like really talk to someone else with super policy, because I've never there's not that many of us you know. So it's not like you like. Gone is going out. You was out my? U have to like witty alike as crazy, like and there's no real, there's no real power. I mean other than my handicap placard him. We get the park, do you have yeah how I want onto its great,
meter of mass, like until we like me, environment governed movie, like you cope park somewhere like looking for parking spot don't be like a handicap spot know perks. You know like the other in an airport, we get to jump the line every once in a while everyone, some like there's a Monday. Where they bow, and I might give you a a whole but by then it so, it's like it's weird to talk about with anyone really cause. There's not there's not anything like there's, not anything positive about it. It's like it's like the only the a lot of like the. The things I see people say now for, as I mentioned before, like women are people of color or or your sexual orientation and seven? That's all that's bad ass! It's like I'm gate,
Oh yeah, you know that's cool and then, but for that, like gives robotic, oh yeah, you know like no, no that's food sucks, but and there's nothing, nothing that can be done to make it better the condition of the another there's nothing I mean I can do physical therapy. You know I could be doing things to like help it, but then now we're on the road all the time and there is no painful sit condition yeah mean it's like all the muscles on there. beside my body are like tight and my brain it's like my brain telling am I the right side of my body to do something? Insects lower? You know like sounds like the west side? Oh yeah,
He's moving his my hands like a show the difference, but it is but. I'll say something, and I don't know you've, maybe if you've heard this before, maybe you haven't seen, or maybe it's embarrassing, but I'm just going to say cuz. I think it's worth saying that I actually think that what you're doing is incredibly important. It's a big deal, that's why I want my son to meet you, because I think it's a really big deal that you can't. I think this band is going to get really big. the kiss of death. By the way, I should have said that I apologise again. I once predicted to my brother, steel, may my little brother, I dragged even further tv one day and pointed out some random man. He still remembers named platinum blonde and I was like watch this band. They're gonna be big and I was like TAT, seven or whatever. They of course did not become bid. So I hope I wish upon you ever platinum long, did not achieve a lot of your decisions, have led you to a lot of great things
Thank you. I think I think I am as your credible, and I think that the having everyone crossed my mind, just what you said. Of course we need bans, but also people who are celebrated. for who they are and what they can do, and we never had anybody with a disability. And again I loved you even before before. I knew that it is. It strikes me as immediately and obviously incredibly important dear, I mean because it is in an suited me off and not for like that. negative way, but there's so many like you know, they'll be like a coach or like a festival and then someone on do like the Look Amman Females are in the bands that are playing. You know it's like the numbers are like crazy and it's like thing. One name, one person of one full moon festival does not us. Now
you know like one one therein I mean there is a drummer for deaf leopard there. That's. Why he's not Blanco Cello Niner, like my main, like they should be on every festival, to even out the ratio of everything or like we ve, even like even on the Joyce manner waves tour thing. There was like scared. Those are two other bands. They talk with them, just as already they might many priorities, but we need less tour with landlocked ladder and waves and we were gonna. Beyond the tour, but then there was like this. This thing there was like wool were afraid of, like being like to all male and so we may need like do something, and I was like again like weight of ok, so we can't be on it because we're all men, but then I'm not like advocating anything And then, even when the tour got it like announced, there was other people being like like this other
there's like this other man. I will name, but when I see them in person, I'm going to call them out on all this, but there was like oh yeah, this tours, like all males, but like a few look like look at these, words that are obvious, like taking away from like what actually were doing in the fact of like getting in a van riding in advance. like. Everyone knew that we play has nothing but stairs by getting on stages, just stares at times they don't even have stairs. You know it's crazy you're not going up there, like stage with with not enough to sustain shopping s like the back of the venue, there's nothing there is either record low wages. Have you cause? You heard you say your name, so people direct my voice, I'm John John, a gay Jim bugged the God, Jim Transnational AIR, guitar layer, Qatar and eyes maker and the precise droppings a bombs without cursor. Yes, cursor in
but sometimes you just can't it'll physical get on the stage I mean customers stage will be like you, gotta get old stare, sometimes for him. I will take RO cases and put a mercy and like users I coming at what the state it doesn't need to be It doesn't need to be that high to be too high. For me, I mean is that only people with disabilities these will, I feel I can understand kind of in a way or unless you like, broke your leg shared something inside. It's like anxiety It gives me anxiety just knowing that I'm an act like get up on a stage that I can't get up on the roof. Anxiety Wildman stage, knowing that I mean after I get off like we're, gonna, have to play a show, and then I do the saying and then everyone's going to have to like literally watch me like crawl off the stage. But then like bands will be on tour in be like.
No multi gender bathroom in this venue and stuff, and it's like it's not handicapped excess border and literally like if I threw a fit earth handicapped people of the World half of them like more than half of the venue solution, would be shut down, but I'd love, music. You know such like. I just want someone, Do you get anxiety about what people are gonna? Think of you yeah. I would imagine people who, like your band, show up to a show and are not expecting to see somebody's gotta get either like data? They don't know that he has a condition and they just think he's like wasted and we get a lotta tweet. All dams like I saw culture bees, but the singers wasted
stand up straight yeah. It's I don't know I was going on a member, then sometimes I will I'll just like any will come and gone back like what we are talking about is just like. I will get wasted just to be like for you think that I'm freaking act like a freak. You know in an even like. I mean the small things and sound so silly, and I never like really one like admit it really ever, but it's like even just like meaning people or, like you know, one likes our ban and then we ll go to meet them, and I don't like learning one town ever party. You think that you ok, I've disguise ABC. Loser like my band, and you know we show up in, but it may be. I hadn't done any research and I would be some how disappointed when I saw you his own. I became I figured like someone like. You could just explained it in a like we're out like this,
How did you know? I really will now you know like no, no, not like that, like more, like the cool. Do you know cause like that's the thing and have talked about before? It's like, I feel like it's a good like people tester, you know it's like. I know when I make someone feel uncomfortable and it's usually, the people that are insecure with themselves are the ones that obviously feel like uncomfortable around me. It's like a litmus test, the kind of like cause. It is like the one in sight. You know, like the person like the most puffed up. Can I, like you, know how I mean growing. You learn these he's everyone does like kind like. It's like the louder, you yelled, the less. You have something saying you know it's like it's like a LA times like those people They are the ones
my can you know it's like. I mean now now our bans getting bigger so like doesn't really the cancer having do right right or like them, near like how I'd know I'd like that's the other thing is the Azores, like a million people, that's like you, you didn't give about me about me care, like our now and then now I see like now that the dance like bigger than I do you, even my dog, How do you know like now? That's my for that. Everyone, not even one word of mouth, say your name. No, shame! Shame the danger of a Sean. We play a shambles anything living in she's gonna make me exchanges name. We actually just call him by a different. They may use a star with S there. Just sell sticks
I can imagine where were you wearing? That gives you a lot of possibility that is alive and he calls himself he's even introducing the wrong you caught them around and so on. So we say people come out of the woodwork, no kind of going back to where you were. like this due to place in a like him, abandoned now, sat in his kind of invent scene, came up and was like you do like I've. working on a bar in your being came on, and this dude, I was working with only plays like pop punk. You know and he's like I hate everything daddy plays Then your music came on and I was like Felicia I actually enjoy the slate. This is good, but he was like I like it, because you guys like are you like, because I, like you, Instead, like you know, I lived in a green room at the bar. I work at length because we all struggling you yeah like a kind of struggling satellite state here
ass. It seemed like every year and a dreamer meaning in other words, is the bar. The green room were or performers goad, yes on wine before they go on. You live in that I live in, that that speaks to a level of real struggle in order to do what you're doing yeah fight. You know it's kind of weird. You're like from someone who, like didn't really one of food with our way, and or length really given you now. He was a kind of one of those like us, have Cougar Siena little dots, beating, Sanford's, Lego, cool guy, yes, yes, people! Thirty! Four! those who turn up- and he was it's like going on about. How much you like the record but really hit me the focus was because he like knew me or you know we're like new that, like we're selling out, maybe like in as he said it like this You guys are selling out but you're like still cool, and it's like this ethos San Francisco, like David talking about like it.
The more you struggle and an artist more respect, you get there. You know them if you create something in your leg. Well off! It's like elbow geared, it's like not worth it given that a million people like a man people like that are well off, will cling. I'm we're talking about that. Yes, like one eye and this I talk about the struggles of San Francisco, we know that they like live with their girlfriend, ran, free and then living in a green room of the bar. Just so we can like go a tour whenever we can and make whatever We can be of a major label record deal We are living in the green room of BAR starting from our accord with shame yeah. It's only. We see here strange that a lot of people, this ain't- you got your like they're like all, but you got your sign like who hath like what I'll have. I never have minded.
Bathing and like I can't you know it's where we're broke and like the argument- but you ve got your silence, I give it they don't do not like money. I've read states have only been out for a month is not how it works. Everything there will be a day you know like we soon. That's like! Oh, my god, like Amelia, I mean we can. Open there was gonna, be catering, so only limited gives you a few more questions based on the article. I that you eat you eat and when you talk about some of the? U, I think your term, like self hatred that came about from from amnesty. you even went so far as your girlfriend's in the room. You said something like you had moments of like did I get this. before woman, because the bands ahead in its
spider. You know like overlooking this disability yeah, that's the level of insecurity. Academic has like when we talk about. We talk about like bands and bandwidth like disabilities are how it's like with. what's name a movie where the main character, who everyone thinks is cool and gets all the girls is disabled. You know does it makes and yet, like our de projectiles, lay off into a thoroughgoing growing up in another and not even like heroic, like even just like in like? What's what's one What's one movie where there's a disabled person in it and he everyone like he's cool or here is the day or he or beat you know like in a way it's like you grow up like not, but then going act like if you're female, like there's plenty of movies, like you know, watch where you can feel empowered and you can feel like relate.
To someone I mean, like I mean, growing up. Iran would like make forest come jokes, Emmy in only a bullet. here and there I tat kind. Joking or no, I mean well, a lot of people will kind joke with me You know when I was like younger. I was like you know, like Michael online secure, I'm, unlike its and now more mines. Carrying gave us now not funny, and our aid is one of those things like where, Joe ground about things sometimes in people think that they can just like Joker and about it and inside you know, you can't say that you know the oil suggestions, but, but you had gone back to like I don't know like there was nothing, nothing, nothing in my life ever there, Showed me that there was success for growing up with the condition in love the life than I am
something about your life beyond the condition that was challenging. I grew up, I grew up like outside of Yosemite like out a dirt road in like A linear like a one bedroom cabin like that's, probably his name in as big as this whole room this room, wherein is reasonably big Vanessa huge, but one room. I slept on the couch. I was nineteen years old and, like my parents, bed was and finally yeah there's still together and they rule man like. So supportive living having loving family. Well, we didn't have like any money. I mean we couldn't get cable. They They don't have internet there. Just my I also know what you'd bees are Netflix or watching his long dry and phase out any other name was brewing. She I know she got Ipad ears like the classic. Like mom, you gotta, you, two worlds.
I lay in the corner. Try not even like half like a smaller than half of this room is just like I'd like a log cabin and then my it's got a box like impasse in every day after school, I would just go say in the Volkswagen person like play acoustic, it are paid off, man declared it is paying off. I don't know no, I mean in terms of paying off my benefit because I have great music was glad enough. It's actually literally paying for you in terms of economics of it I mean the checks, the checks in them they haven't liar deposit, that much more of our conversation read after this break brought to you by indeed used by over three million businesses for hiring where, Business owners and hr professionals can post job openings with screener questions. Then Sir review and communicate with candidates from an online dashboard learn more at indeed dot com, slash higher.
there's a lot coming at you right now. Turmoil tweets an insane amount of chatter, I'm bread milky with ABC News, and I am here to throw you a lifeline to do. Podcast called start here. Were our exports, give you on ground access to the biggest stories of the day. We're gonna give you some context, some clarity among the chaos twenty minutes every week day subscribe now apple podcast or wherever you get your blood cancer and start here, said the song that my son says with regard to the plugs, because it began to be right about that hardly literally the first words of the song, it's rare, to hear a song record like this. That appears to be about kindness to yourself and others. Can you is it my misreading, the meaning of a song caged, walk me through what you're trying to standards on I don't
feel like a lot of the songs are just like a love. Songs like are like I will negative and slightly positive, it's kind of like the lyrics, The motion is like kind of how you thought, processing a lot of things. You know thoughts. Its literally like Now, though, I read said Arthur, like heard women s book? You know, and I know that a lot of people have read it years before you like high school or something but like I read then it was kind of like about you know, like the less you have liked a more it's like homer, I don't know I had to explain but meaning that it's kind of an argue I've read the book in about ten years. I read it as a grown up, but was so while ago that may be. The message was something along the lines of having too much, which we think is going to make us happy actually doesn't make us it yeah, I mean an end. He you know he like goes through a heap he's like a Buddhist.
is trying to search for online men and goes like without anything for so long and then he like, in the town, and he meets the needs of women and the woman want someone with money and Stephanie. He can make save up his money because he never had money. So then he doesn't, after that he doesn't spend it because he never had INA like it's like all the things like you can acquire like the less you have in the more you're. Ok with it, then, like the more you can accomplish never really had anything. It's also the same sense of like being like the less you expect. Like the do. You know like you're? Not you never let down. If you expect nothing now, we will we were like. everyone is talking about. The the bees crisis announced thing like so small can link affect the whole universe, and so was just kind of like talking about like originally the words were we kind of the bees behind the bugs be cautious of people,
be careful with drugs because it was still like I'm not saying that you have to like just three he's still need. I like watch out for people because, like you know, that's a very different message say the current lyrical and then Brett girl, its founder of of the task was like now: you need to change, Conscious of people because you say be cautious of people be careful with drugs. That's the same thing, cautious and care for the same thing. yet known, but that's not what I'm trying to like say, but he did like- and I am I am. I feel like I'm cater of being constantly trying to be conscious of a lot of of people, but so the first verse actually says be conscious of people on the second ones. Is cautious, oh, really cause. I can't this ain't, you know, just how can I have my own link? Will my cap and stealing the man you know you say epitaph is there? Is the record label variation
they want and what, of course, I was the only thing. Yes, these gather Rowan and shake you cover. So I really wasn't initially a song about kindness to other humans. It was more like being nice to animals, but the kind of like take care of yours else like be just so where of your surroundings, but then also like and then the course is kind of like. Like I mean we were living. like just bouncing around CAN in the Bay area, and there is a won't play where, where had was in the middle of a move and like took everything like open up a storage unit. like a lot of stuff in the sword unit and then took like every single piece of clothing than I had every like every camera, every like all my life that I loved, I put him. A car in my cabinet maggot, delivering stay. I was I caution from his couch and I don't really know why
I did it are why and do a lot of stupid things, but then my car got broken into that night. In it they stole every every piece of cloth, Oh, that I had accepted, then wonder where I'm I'm back. They stole like Every camera I had everything every photo every like every like, possession that you cared for late stolen, you know, and so, like a cannon like crush meaning kind of like change. My whole, like outlook on the world by Canada. For me, in like depression to be cuz. I didn't have like anything. I wasn't living anywhere but then kind of coming through it. On the other side, it's like now, it's like will purge all the time. Like the environment will be in my room and like I just like that, neither somewhere, my friends, tomorrow's european suppliers. Mcgovern.
totally do I do these things like a purging, you know call common and just like cuz now it's like you can go without anything and be fine. You know for them off. For the most part, Alec somewhere about this unemployed journalism, yet here I mean that movie, actually Does anyone know what my life rang out his liver question, the air that we wait? Let me just say: will you do void? Yellow I'm ass is by the drugs. Yes, baby, you're really good remedies, instrument, I know how to play, and your will We want both records, yes, because he stopped, change motivated during the first and second record, your style. Definitely yeah. We were wasn't crazy trend, DEC, you're, sorry, certain good, just working with them. You know some different people I'm daydream. The newer album just like having differ,
ideas come in you know and trying to not necessarily steer it and like it was more like it felt. There is parts that were the first report and he was often by felt like you, are showing your chops in a way it at international and regional explosive. Yes, bombastic they go nuts and just sick Phil. Every three seconds. Unjust, speed like crazy, you know play is heavy and as far as I and the next one was more like, we had some help us with some baby. Let's go you like not do like a crazy feel every five seconds and like the more thoughtful on where we put these parts and definitely can attain it down a little bit, but I think it serve the song gateway. So Jefferson, where you would like a producer. Do so the first record was Jesse, you just ask then he added and a friend and a friend recording it. So I gave basically produced it here, but I like these guys, like you know,
that's what he does were living things are here is some crazy acts here, but it was. It was kind like like this thing and like in good part, can you bash. This, never you go and then, like kind of where we talk about the beginning, is growing as music, it's like you, isn't it around they're, not even necessarily just bashing hair like using. There remains a new one. Like you know, you get at least me like. I get fired up and you one like you know you feel like the energy that you feel from punk, but he's not screaming he's not bashing. The drums so it's like if we were doing song like be kind of the bugs in Russia, like you know. It's like that. Doesn't so is kind of like more trying to play actual song rather than like before it was like
still trying to like, was afraid of taking the actual step of just be, unlike look it and we're still childlike like makeup, make a crazy punk record you know, one might think about like It's the marsh. Do you know still or Marshall music? It's it's just catchy yeah yeah to make it more or less in the village in the pocket. I guess you know like this tremor. How blame is like part of it, the reckon crew, when whether reformers and vicious recorded on, like all that fill Spectre stuff, all sound you know like and dislike thousand like had songs. You know just like that, like a very pocket tremor and is looking to find out in the pocket for folks, I guess it's just like capturing. Moreover, a vibe, rather than like yeah, I like to have seen a strain of just show you your chops or whatever it is it be like this is how good I ever you know it's like I don't know. How would you guys it's getting hot life? I guess
play more like reserved instead, I'm just doing as much as you can all the time. You know an issue. We must in the pocket. It's like to me like com, when you do anything like that. every in you feel like in tune with it. All you know it's like can like we tracked. We also track the drums. Last we were accorded moment there. When we record only recorded, we did some scotch drums. I mean we actually like looked did our research and like one in the big for the new record was like come on, Frank assign the family stone feel. Paul Simon, feel we light is not came to mind. When I listen to me, it sounds like catchy I hear notes of strokes, Nirvana, maybe a little pixies, maybe a little holes Eddie Craig there and he was there last night,
the singers, our boy, his fantastic, he's, the vastness plant to show them. Here in Europe. Are it so I usually do this first, but let's do it last meditation and experimentation meditation, I mean not not is Much as I should never have, people of all levels experienced, don't get cheap it for their, but there's there's a thing called hence the stream, oh yeah, and against the stream and- and it was pretty close to like where we are living in San Francisco and you can just of folks tell people what it is. Its duty wrote the book, the diamond punk farm epochs, Adam within his own name. No, what's Noah, no elevator right, he is he where Dharmu punks and he started basically, which is like a kind of up lineages school
of a kind of a modern school of Buddhism which is focused on people, caravan, topography, community in recovery and one of the teachers space and allay now ass, Joanna Harper, who has been on this podcast and is for one of the teachers on the ten percent happier app as well so deftly familiar with their work. They do. Its deficit one of their outposts. It was close to where you were living in San Francisco here in San Francisco and in a way to down there and spray cork as they do like. I did meditations but is also like sunlike tattooed punk- do do like You know like I'm just like food and think about like in my head. You know, like you re like it does. In fact you can killing relay and you can kind of like lay let your guard down when feel like a little bit more comfortable. You know surrounded by the aging
these or road gurus year, someone like yeah, you feel if you feel like judge story, you feel like it distinct up the place you know me You might, you might be a little more reserve, but and then one of my friends to whose, whose a director who lives in New York City to his name's, robs who soucy he he really meditates like every morning link. We did a couple road trip, we'd, like drove costs across the United States like in a car, opened our friend move and, like I wake up when we were like in the morning and he'd, be like seven in the morning like against the wall like actually meditating unknown and was like he kind of like there's a few people. My life that they made me
feel like it was like. Okay and corn helped understand. It's like like, of course, of course, to like take time in your life to like just stop second you no special like a few women in New York City parliament in San Francisco are living in a way like yours, all the time you know a guy and where I grew up like it's quiet as like out by Yosemite. You know such like, even if you're not meditate war can, of course you can just act. Sit there. We didn't have like border boy internet or anything. So you are just like at times there like with yourself with nothing. But now it's like yeah.
and the same importance of it, but have you made it a regular hat practice in any one know? No, but you do get yourself together go once in a while. It sounds like yeah and try and it's kind of like one of those its if up thing with doing what we do, because it's like yours, like ok, like I'm an undue. This eminent. Do this and then there's all this shit that we do. Stop like we were in Europe last week and then the day that we got back the drive down our way and play some secret chauffeured upon should like music supervisors and then the next week after that we flew out to hear and then the next week or like do in essence, one week after that were like do this, and so are you They call these plans. Are these, like ideas? Are things that you need to do, whether it's like meditation or physical therapy or something
And then, before you know, it's been a year and we ve just been link gone. I think you gotta give yourself a break, I'm in your right and someone here, you gotta go see through the right out all I would say, meditations more portable and easier to do on the road than physical therapy problem. A friend of mine recommended had space when I there is great, I'm partial to ten percent happier as an innovative that does that costs money tat. I say that not for you won't feel like opera, Google so what what? What beating like? Why is it attractive to talk a little bit about this? What, if anything, did it do for you on the times where you have done it? What what about it speaks do other than the fact that in this in and against the stream, they have tat, I mean just like I mean growing up. One growing up where I did grow up
it's like it's like I'm used to like. I know I need like some time behind there too. Like I mean everyone to everyone, does of course, but and then just like kind of I don't know it's like and sank red everyone needs sleep. You know I ever need some like time. yet it will. We are besieged all the time. An information Alla the time you're moving around and the brain needs to you need teach. Our focus you need to how to not be distracted, which is another thing you sing about him be kind of books, so yeah, it's important to do it just the same way you got to work on your body does anybody else here. Have an interesting. May you your time I had just the address. This is rather less tour recommended had space and had done under the up the grew in Seattle.
And just till I get three men at her five minute. Yeah exercise start just at a cafe is gonna like walk to him. crazy, because I didn't really know what to expect, but it actually like that have a sort of then, feeling came over me, which is Kenneth for Jesus Diana, but will you I wasn't, when you say, Zan feeling, would you mean by, but I don't know it just like the boy. The breeding exercises like it's hard to describe because something that I never daughter. You know it's like you keep up with it. I did little bit like onto at every noticed after the first one that if there is like a noticeable difference- and I am- kind of was so relaxed that I fell asleep for a little bit in the cab air, like kind of just like Sotalol check time for a second have you back to the veneer whatever, but then, like I remember product with food,
yeah, but then they would be data we can all be Devos Probity higher diva. You won't see what role than ever I it away. do you know like just like touring, is just such a mental, hot hot. You gotta like give yourself from space alone, and just like personally, I I like just like going on walks or whatever in like getting lost and having that time alone so like to add that to it I think, helped a lot and then I tried to start it. I thought I did it a few more times on tour, but it's just a card in the van didn't, have analysed. There were just like. I can get counter boy, and I really need to like you. Just click on this. A bench see that's just now comfortable at all like the floor or every you're sleeping you actually sleep in the back yard. Evidently here where I get most of my
please your eyes light or baseline Irene Room United Drivers. The driver's license both see my my parents like dipped out on me when I was sixteen, which is only did like day like left, like privilege, of your, well, my mom moved across the country from Nor is it like somewhere in Philadelphia. I don't even know where she went and then my dad's, like he kind of She was living in our view. He can really like take care my sister so like never had a car and think never really. You know I've been almost pretty much since sixteen like kind of living places for like months at a time before me am, I had friends, got affected or, like you know, but I guess like I was
experience that I was at work and it was just when I moved into the green room and I had to tell her. I was like freaking out over something and I was like having a really hard time and my character was like give me your phone. Give me your headphones like give me anything that will distract you and go sit up there with the lights off, and I will tell you when to come down and she like locked me in this room with nothing. I think that was like my first experience with like actually slowing down in, like kind of like thinking about, like all the things that have happened in like how I get to the point, where almost feel like I'm gonna have a panic at tat. You know and and then that's something now that I tried to do. I don't do regularly. You know, because ages, usually don't have a target they used to say in alone. You know you don't you
yeah you don't you don't. I don't think I have the I haven't done to the place where I can create that box. You wish dogma. That is actually, I think, one of the biggest obstacles to meditate. First of all, what happened to you with your parents, a terrible so now that that sucks, but the sit. The second thing is that I think one of the natural. So this is not a criticism. One other matter. Obstacles that people have to meet meditation is that we think we need to reach Some special state of calm, Roseanne or imperturbability will actually really what meditation about is ok with whatever their the point is not to be unnaturally or bullet proof imperturbability or whatever the point is actually to be able to surf the gas instead of drowning in year. Out is a? U can do meditation on an uncomfortable chair, you can do meditation. smelly Van. Wherever really
all that is, is paying close attention whatever's happening without getting act around by it. So it usually restart your breath. You feel that your breath, play a in and going out, and then we get distracted, you start again and again and again, and that may not feel being in a dark room where things are really com when it may feel like is well my mind, isn't it yet seeing the insanity allows you not to be owned by a whole, and that is the year. That's the game. I figure America, I try not to be too much of a proselytize are, but it sounds like it could be useful since you are already gravitating toward it. Naturally, yeah yeah are just having people see like if you, if you kind of just cuz. I feel like one of the things like David says, like a we just happened stops since we started this and there's somebody
things that happen that I feel like. I don't have time to really look at it and be like ok. That happened. You know or like it's just kind of like. Ok that happen putty into. back of my mind and then because everything else is just happening just as bad as so. I think that is like that is a practice that I think would be useful for me to actually look back and like ok, with the things that have happened instead of just like I'm not going to think about it, you know, because you know what even if you, even if you tell yourself you're, not thinking about it, it's there it's there and its acting on you blindly, exactly it's driving you in a blind so it's like you know. I mean there are lots of modalities meditations on a miracle for all of them. You know
medication stare be less physical exercise like their bunch of ways to get at the pain of the human condition. Can you describe your typical work practice just them every day, yeah So for me, it's but basically said in a reasonably quiet place, but if it's not that quite quiet actually was just pipe a little white noise in my headphones and close my eyes and all like I'm in an airport, Onawandah sit there be obviously meditating. I can t have my headphones kind of gays softly at a neutral spot on the ground and then all you do is bring your full attention in the feeling of your breath coming and going out. She just do not actually thinking about your breath, you just acknowledging it feeling feeling the raw data of the rising and falling of your belly or didn't coming in and out of your nose and then you will very quickly get violently distress over and over and over again, by random thoughts. By
a powerful motions by whatever in that's actually part of the guests. failure the moment you see they have become distracted is the moment you are meditating correctly, The game is see over and over and over how, while the mind is so that that wildness doesn't drive you all the time and it just like a process of getting familiar with her actual life, because most of the time. Most of the things we do that are most embarrassing are most negative or war, by our ego, the ego has, you know like eating. have you no need to eat or taking drugs? You don't need to take or saying things in a relationship there more toxic than you need to say. Actually you would medicine She would more self awareness with more familiarity of the. With your own mind, you can kind of see the storm coming before it fully hits makes landfall in your gear done, you're off and running your dino seven paragraphs deep into a
we meant, with the significant other that you didn't need to have. So it's not foolproof I mean I make really dumb stakes all the time. I just that. I think I make fewer of them used to, and that's largely just because I can kind of sea Oh I'm getting angry before, whereas the anger would here- and I was off that make is only one of the guys that David talking against the stream visiting while in Gaza against the stream spots. Had someone timing is like just imagine like taken a sponge and dislike scrubbing my brain and, like I like and bows, one. There was like I really I can now like imagine like even this Kevin Anvil with a like little and crannies are rarely glue, he brain and the thing about cleaning anything is you're gonna get in touch with some pretty ugly stuff and that that's ok, like I think, a lot of people get in touch with that. We suffers
even if it's just completely Monday in you know, thinking about. What's relaunch people see that having a vague, I think, was used, at the beginning, you before we start rolling. You say you tried meditation once in a failed. Was it you yeah egg? By the way you say your name, I am Nick Nick has not spoken yet meditating over there trying to try ten percent a happier ass dry David. You desire that there will be a little like little glint of his two people. Have this where they see. Oh, my god, I'm thinking about all this crazy stuff. I can't do this, but that is doing it at the reef. Framing that's basin The foundation of this company is me just saying that over and over again because meditation as a huge pr problem, which is people, think they can't do it, but to act, the thing the moment when people are thinking they can't do. It is the moment they have done it
like evenly coming into such would like someone out like, like we lay on I get likes you four Scatterbrain all the time, and I'm just like my lines on a million places at once, but even just like China, like you, had to take a second to lake com, and like when you hear those things are black. I, as we didn't like now, just like looking at differently had an absolutely benefit the boy you just I was your mind all over the place that is a symptom of being a human being, that is there is nothing more than that we may there are there there's a spectrum. Some people have while their minds for a variety of internal or external reasons, public dad it we descended from nervous monkeys yet who were always looking out for threats, food, and that's just my mind we have, and so no point getting Irving about threats or food what use gonna hurt me
can I ate it is about juba- looks like he's in middle. Let's finish it, you ve, been in then any meditating or been your class or anything like that. But there's deftly meant. I've, been so incredibly stressed out in life, because life is crazy and on the point of having, I gotta go wherever just like my minors, doing a million things and I'll just go outside and just sit there. and just close my eyes. And yes, I guess you have just gonna pay more attention to my breathing. Then anything that's going on around me. That's it in a and I'll just do it for, like you, know, they're like five minutes or something you know, I'd listener like the traffic or whatever and yeah. That's like Sometimes life is decision that you had not war
there's nothing. I can do about some of the problems that I have sought. Psych are just shut, everything off in my head and just focus on what's happening today. Right now, so what were you doing? What the awfully, if you use the app which will be free for you? What were what will teach? You is just like a slightly minor Lee, if that's even a word, enhanced version of what you already do just a little bit more like discipline version of that. That's cool! It's a cool thing. To reiterate to that that you can do meditation wherever cuz. I feel like. That's like a lot of us have the same. Like I don't have a space I mean specially is where it like, the only time that were away from each other's, like woman taken and even like when I went we know that you know, but so it's like a thing for us to like our whole lives like pretty much. You know cause everyone's like no one. Now
lived in a mansion? No one like her, you know ever like had their own. make little space, I think ever beside just like also teach herself. They can just the UK in the world than in doing anywhere in an uncomfortable chair. You know I, like as you desert, you don't need to tell you a story that you need the right conditions there are almost certainly not gonna come like linguists annually is like in my head. It's always been like our reach, this legs and moment. No, you just like everything's. Ok, it's like gap, but like new science like now, but getting distracted, is part of it and then maybe I have actually been successful. There may be some moments, but you can't will them into existence, and I mean what you described were ass described. that being the cafe were actually really does he did that sense of came over him? Great diktat does happen, but that doesn't mean he did
right here doing wrong. It just means, like that's the situation that arose men next army meditates that it may be the exact opposite, doesn't matter, it's really not about being coming a better meditated, but like being better at being alive. That's the skill you're trying to trim little one. This question, for you guys, given that I've only heard these serve personal narratives of David and Sean right shame, but if is one of the aims size, one of them sounds. It sounds like it's out, I'm just gleaning from some of the comments that all of you had personal challenges. So I guess I guess my question is: if my curve prediction about trajectory of this band is correct and that things do work out well, I'll, be very surprised if they do not will? What that pose challenges of Emmy? We ve seen behind the music rights earlier that pose challenges to
Yeah I mean that some than that that that is a big I gotta dig fear and something that we actually live can we talk about it because it's like it's like if we can fuck up our lives with no like magic video, we waited the lot of you know so and in but that's that's. The thing is like, hopefully, and I totally understand why people do up their lives bad if it's like the trajectory is straight up. You're really have at times like be appreciative or understand was going on understand living, especially if you like a lot younger too. I am like that's why people are food is because you don't like we, the eminent alike, lived through any of this. They were living through so hopefully yeah. We do you talk about that kind of MILAN. Well, I hope it's a problem. You get to deal
I really do I feel like you could, where we got some your contribution to allow where you could wear one navies enough. I'll do my do my do best, but I deftly will wear it above. In has gone ok, let's start babies have great yeah. You guys are awesome. I we ve never had a black ass will. Work will have to do this. out of leaping he's, got why why look more and I'll? Take you guys really edit, and here again I love even more now so awesome
Ok, that does it for another edition of the ten percent happier podcast. If you liked it, please take a minute to subscribe rate us also. If you want to suggest topics, you think we should cover or guests that we should bring in hit me up on twitter at Danby. Harris importantly, I want to thank the people who produce this part, Lauren, Efron Josh go and the rest of the folks here at ABC, who helped make this thing possible. We have tons of other broadcasts. You can check them out at ABC. New tie casts dot com. I'll talk to you. Next Wednesday, There's not a person in America who hasn't been impact it in some way by the corona, I was pandemic, but it every community there are pockets of people who were soon
Every day this is my last day of the cylinder stretch to drive off about photos from one of our Visa or America's essential workers, the people who are keeping moving. I turn into a home school mom and now in a new programmes. From eighty see news you gonna hear from damage. I she went back to my office and so unkind because he is not here, and I can assure you that our community has found faintly worrying. This is essentially inside the from the emergency room. The police cruiser to the Czech outline Yuki one. This pandemic sounds like the people putting themselves no one's way, there's always a risk. Brain is home to re. Kids are my husband or maybe errands, listen to the essentials inside the curve on Apple podcast, river, pod, costume.