Oftentimes Buddhism can take a tough love, no nonsense approach to happiness by saying, if you want to be happier, sometimes you need to face hard truths.
In today's episode we’re going to talk about a Buddhist list called The Three Characteristics. These are the three non-negotiable truths about reality, which you have to see and understand in order to be happy. Granted, when looked at from a certain angle, these truths, or characteristics of reality can suck at times. But do you want to see the truth of things or not? Do you want to be happier or not?
Our guide through these three characteristics is the mighty Mushim Patricia Ikeda. Mushim has a background in both monastic and lay Buddhist practice and is a core teacher and community director at the East Bay Meditation Center in Oakland, California. This is her second appearance on the show.
Content Warning: This episode briefly mentions child loss.
In this episode we talk about:
- The three characteristics, alternatively known as the three Dharma seals
- Our conflicted relationship to change
- Our brain’s tendency to focus on the negative
- Practices that can help with handling change more effectively
- How not taking your thoughts so personally can build your resilience
- And why Mushim believes that universal non-discriminating love is synonymous with Nirvana
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mushim-patricia-ikeda-484
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
This is
ten percent happier, podcast andean harris,
again, one of the things that has always attracted me to buddhism is
that. It takes a tough love, no nonsense approach, as I
understand their message? The buddhists, I should say my fellow buddhists are not so
and you can solve all of your problems through the power of positive thinking there, also not promising salvation through some death denying dogma
again, as I understand it. What they're saying is that
You wanna be happier. You first need to face some hard truths.
To be clear by happiness. I slash. We are not talking about jumping
the air, because you just one the lottery or you got a lot of likes on your most recent instagram post. Let's not confuse excitement for happiness here, in my opinion, happiness properly under
It is something like living a well adjusted floor
jeanne meaningful useful life in the world.
As it really is:
step. One is understanding the world, as it really is, which brings us to today's episode. We're going to talk about a buddhist list called the three character
mystics. If you listen to the show, you know the buddha made a lotta lists and we like to build episodes sometimes
a series of episodes around the buddhas various lists which are all designed to help us do life better anyway, to three
the risks, are the three non negotiable truths about reality, which you have to
and understand in order to be happy again, I'm using the word happy in most profound
Since I should say when looked at from a certain angle, these truths or characteristics of reality can suck at times. But ask yourself this: do you want to see that
with things or not. Do you wanna be happier or not our guide through these three characteristics will be the mighty machine, patricia
Cater regime has a background in both monastic and lay buddhist practice, and as a core teacher and community director at the east bay meditation centre in
when california, a phenomenal organization worth checking out and supporting this- is machines. Second appearance on the show,
In this conversation, we talk about the three characteristics alternately known.
the three dormer seals. We also talk about our conflicted relationship to change our brains, tendency
to focus on the negative practices that can help us handle change more effectively. How not taking your thoughts and emotion so personally can build up your resilience,
we talk about, and this is a big e and a bit of a mind vendor.
Why machine believes that unit
for non discriminating love
is synonymous with nirvana.
And remember. If you want to learn how to apply the wisdom, you here on the ten percent happier
Oh, but you don't have a meditation practice, yet our companion app can help. People always tell us how the app helps them
put all the good things they learn on the pact cast into practice,
from one of our users. Here's a quote being on the app makes the information
pod, even more relevant by encouraging me to make meditation a daily practice.
I'm on my two hundred and first day so far so good. You can download the ten percent happier apt
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Motion
patricia mckenna
Welcome to the show. Thank you so much. There
So let me start with a, I hope, not impermanent, that was a funny slip of the tongue. I hope not impertinent question.
everything's impermanent as we will discuss, but here it is what are the three characteristics
alternatively, known as the three dharuma seals and
so what? Why should we care at the big question that is fairly impertinent.
And I do I like it. I, like I, like friendly impertinence, so think
you're very much. What are the three dharuma characteristics?
in known as the three Diana seals. Ok, that's will do that first and then, why should we care that?
is the s words should so I will respond to that. The three dharuma characteristics, the three characteristics, as I understand it, come from. What I understand is the older stratum of buddhist teachings in what's called the terror vodka
which translates as path of the elders, and I believe there are said to be the three characteristics that mark that characterize are human existence, the first to being a word that translated as impermanence. Then these are words from the ancient buddhist language of polly p, a l I the second characteristic being the very badly translated into English. Sometimes it said no self non self. I dont, like those words, I say no permanent, unchanging self and the third characteristic being duca, which has no satisfactory translation into
wash and its often translated this suffering. However, it's better translated as unsatisfactory as the quality of things never being as the rolling stones and mick Jagger said. I can't get no satisfaction and I've tried at that marks human life,
now I come from the ema or not
Further school of buddhism, which, in the teachings of tick
at han, which have greatly influenced me, change that third characteristic from duca or unsatisfactory, nis or suffering, if flips it to the other side and says that the third seal of dharma, which guarantees that is the true dharma teaching, is nirvana or need ben at which means freedom from suffering or freedom liberation from duca.
That's a very technical, and you ask: why should we care? I don't know, I don't know why anyone should care about that. I dont think anyone should, after care about anything they don't care about. So let me state that up front categorically. Why do you care? Why do I care? Is that actually the real question you're asking Europe
So I think so. I think I'm always getting at
the practical take away is for my listeners. What
here can help them do their lives better. What here can help our listeners
do their lives better. This is my personal taken it Dan. I personally think
that. I've never met a person who has said sincerely I'm completely happy
I have no suffering in my life. I have nothing to complain about ever so that's not buddhist. I don't think it's a unit
so statement I mean. Maybe there is someone, I've never met them unusual. Let's put it that way and improbable. So what we're talking
but here that I feel that might be of potential to help our listeners.
Said: do their lives by which I'm picking up that you mean function function, I'm a very practical person. In my own experience, there is an incredible amount of suffering and dissatisfaction.
for me and I feel for others. I am but his teacher. I myself as a threat.
miller, mindfulness teacher. So I talked to a lot of people and I hear their story
there's a lot of affliction.
there's a lot of suffering that comes from
an underlying unconscious assumption that things that we love and like will not change,
Even the logically, I think that most people who believe in science and so forth would say yeah pretty much everything
does change. I mean really just think about looking at your own baby pictures or something
and then look in the mirror. Today, there's got to have been a change and we could go on and on
but Julian's more examples how
However, even though this evidence is staring us right in the face right in the face of
in over and over again in multiple ways. I think there is something about our human brain that desires
were things that we love and like to
the unchanging to be a constant source of happiness of satisfaction
of protection
nourishment a financial resource
and why not? That is what we want
that what we have impermanence is real.
and I always try to remind people because neuroscience says the human
aimed at the lot of negative filtering and emphasizes the negative. I always remind people. Impermanence is a two way street.
the brandy little kid we're dealing with today. Tomorrow takes a developmental leap and becomes a sort of reason
bull individuating human being that we can talk to about all kinds of things
seen that happened in my own journey as apparent ask another unfair question: just I can't help
I know natural selection isn't to we. We shouldn't personify evolution, but why
on earth, do you reckon nature would design us as key.
cheers living in a universe
of ceaseless change
to be so resistant to said change.
That's an untrue statements were not resistant to changes,
We like we're, not reason
as I have through statement and money. That's why the return chef, tear and our brains need to hopefully adjusted,
like oh yeah. Today I was thinking my stupid friends my book.
They are coming up and no one has recognised that
and then our friends, throw us a surprise birthday party of their favourite cake and we're like oh wow folks, are just the greatest you're, the greatest that's impairment.
still so maybe the question should be. Why would natural selection have designed us for such a cause?
wicked relationship to change, given the chance
it is happening all the time my take on there.
Dan. Is that, because we have very large brains
probably not big enough because in many ways
human beings are not doing so well on the planet. Right now, however, that having been said are basic equipment,
and its evolved in my understanding, as we have this huge prefrontal cortex, and then we have other parts of the brain, all of which do not
communicate with one another in a unified whole. That's my understanding to
and very crude lay persons terms, and I do read quite a bit about them
so that I can understand myself and others better, and I think what it is is that human brains are capable of thinking and processing about all kinds of things which boosted by text.
logically and all of the text that we have right now and all of the data. That's just stream,
in the human brain
through the mobile phone through the online connections
We have that our nervous systems actually weren't designed to be able to process all of that conflicting huge data
the thing from absolutely traumatic information about climate crisis. Down to what make up k pop stars are
Anything and everything in between I mean that is a huge, huge set of weird data, much of it
conflicting and much of it not connecting to other parts of that data set. In the meantime, our physical apparatus, so to speak, I think, is
sickly designed for maybe like a hunter gatherer or agrarian kind of existence swear
we'd, be very in touch with the amount of daylight, the weather, the seasons, the sources of food, because we would probably be hungry a great deal of the time
and we would be concerned for protection from immediate physical threats like a large carnivorous animals.
So I think, in the way that we have evolved, we ve got an incredible set of equipment, so to speak as a human being, it's not all interfacing smoothly,
So it's not just that evolution screwed up in terms of creating a highly funds.
Organism in a world of ceaseless change, its debt, we ve created a world.
that evolution couldn't have envision. If you wanna put it that way, I dont profound
by evolution, I think it's just what's happened.
Ok enough over my stupid questions,
let what will happen without a different skipper questions it. We ve
started on the list with impermanence. Can you say more about the importance of imports
minutes within the context of this list, and buddhist practice is the basis of everything I think within the context of this list and buddhists, practice and mindfulness practice as well secular, mindfulness practice. If we can spend some time really every day, hopefully check in with it several times a day and ask ourselves
am I experiencing any points in which I feel stuck in which I feel like my thoughts, keep looping round and round and round. Again and those are not helpful thoughts, they're not happy thoughts. They are complaining thoughts like why the heck is this politician.
such an idiot and why this and why there and those people that thing, I'm not talking about constructive critique. I'm talking
about what's called in psychology, I think ruminative thought just circling, circling circling
causing us to become more and more grumpy, possibly more and more frightened
the blame more and more angry,
of ruining our day. Can we check in and say that my experiencing any of these kinds of thoughts and if so, what we just back off a little bit just take a moment, take
wrath and ask do I am an underlying assumption here that things will change, that things can change or to put it in our vocabulary. That impermanence, in fact,
is not a fact. Do I really believe in impermanence and there might
a part of us. If we are honest, it says I don't wanna know of course,
I dont want to believe that the person that I'm in love with today may leave me for another person two years from now,
I dont want to believe that.
Child that I love so deeply with all my heart might get sick, I'm just gonna, say it and die before me.
Yet when we look around when I look around happens all the time, so for me it's actually a pretty cognitive and rational process with myself,
to ask myself: do I really believe in impermanence, or am I just kind of faking it sometimes
So when you ask yourself that question of munich check in on your level of acceptance of impermanence, what can answers you get back parts of my brain? Often
scream now now why no, no, no! No! No! No! No, I'm pretty in touch with certain parts of my brain
you're, not all of them dan and death. Honestly, that is what I
get I mean I gave you the example being a mother. I live with my adult child. I only have one is
big part of my learning and my identity, my spiritual growth, I mean, I just love my kid and
I do know other people who have lost their children mean that does happen. That does happen in fact quite a bit. It could be a drug overdose, it could be an accident and then the child is in a coma and then severely disabled
it could be sudden infant death syndrome. So I realise that this might be upsetting to our listeners. An I'm saying with complete sympathy and empathy
as a mother and as someone who worked with a lot of children, someone who cares about children that this is a fact
act, and I play the regular amount of attention to examining that resistance,
and that assumption that I have sometimes that I will get older, I'm sixty eight I'll die, I hope peacefully, but then again that's an assumption and that my child will be a functioning
dark who be able to take care of himself. I dont have any god that tells me
a machine that life script. You ve got it, you ve got it in the bag, that's exactly how the script will run. There is no life script, as far as I know,
glad you brought this up. I know it's probably upsetting to its of setting to me. I'm sure it's upsetting to
many listeners, specially listeners who have kids but it we can you
first lies this beyond. Just people with kids in your europe
centrally asking us to contemplate the most painful possible
it is. We can imagine and ask ourselves
Are we okay with this possibility, because that possible
These are real exactly so. We can why net too, if we love our job or maybe we don't love it, but is providing a very good income.
For us it could be our home P.
nation? It could be anything that we cherish. There will be change, sometimes desirable, sometimes
desirable, as I was, of course, as somebody who is done. If you ve done a significant amount of buddhist practising continue to do so, and each other people to do so, which is a kind of deep reinforcement of the warnings house.
Up. Do you think you are to handle the most painful variants of change? More impertinent question stand. I can see that that's where we're going
I answer to that is- I do not know and the other
answer to that is, however,
I am doing my best. I am doing my level best to
pair. I do believe in preparation. I think that's part of many spiritual traditions,
and possibly many non spiritual traditions, for instance the house that I rent a flat in
you're in oakland, California is to my knowledge sitting right on top of the giant heyward fault, and we are according to seismologists overdue, for the next gigantic earthquake. That's going to level
possibly large parts of the bay area and maybe even split off parts of the coast into the ocean, and so I'm not perfect. However, I have,
earthquake preparation like a backpack in couple
crowbar thin three days: supply of water in my stairwell things,
like that. Similarly, I spent quite a bit of time, probably every day are very
in contemplating how resilient I feel to be able to accept not like, but to be able to accept in therefore, hopefully try to deal with as best I can possibly giant under
I changes that may affect me and many many other people. I hardly
me dimension? We are now in the third year of the global covered night.
In condemning and that changed everything almost overnight at a speed at a rate that completely bewildered me, I was not prepared for that. I'm kind of sort of prepared for an earthquake, because
I live in oakland and that's part of how we live here with that awareness, are we
I use the word should, however, for the pandemic. I was now
prepared at all, and now
Now that it has happened, and I've had several years to try to adapt as best I can that's a big wake up beth
me like machine. You are not prepared for that at all,
They have been I'm not reproaching myself. So what if there are other changes that are like that? What if there are other changes that are like that that everything changes within a matter of weeks?
practically overnight. Am I ready to buckle down and say I didn't want it. I hate this, and this is what I have
these are the circumstances and the reality said I see now. How can I help myself? How can I help others coming up machine patricia kara talks about
how we can help ourselves and others deal with change
and why not taking your own thoughts so personally can help with that. After this, this progress,
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back to the practical tipp you ve met.
At least one may be two things that we all can do to brace ourselves for unpleasant change. This practice you have become just
touching in with yourself of gauging how ready you are? I think you mentioned that twice and I think it's kind of the same practice both times. But what would you recommend
arson and maybe there's a little hint of that in the last words, you are
in your last answer around being,
ready to help others
but what are the impermanence girding practices that you recommend to your students? You picked it up, be prepared to help ourselves and help others, I personally
have taken, along with millions of other people, buddhist vows, which are called the body set for vows, which are accompanied by a set of ethical guidelines called the body sat for precepts.
These guide my everyday life, my everyday actions and certainly far from perfect at fulfilling them. When I teach them, I always say these are impossible vows. So, if you're interested in taking these vows, just no
they contradict the rule of don't try to eat anything, that's bigger than your head. This is trying to ingest
something that so much bigger than your own head. I mean it is a kind of a bizarre thing. However, as humans, we do bizarre things all the time and, if we're drawn to these vows, what we commit to doing- and I have committed
doing ass has his holiness the fourteenth dalai lama has had taken up
as have many many people, both known
an unknown I've committed to
really trying to show up every day and trying to be of help trying to be of help to other people.
his holiness the dalai lama said
wherever I go, I try to help whoever I can and if I can't be of help at least I try not to harm something and that's a very practical way of putting it in the positive sense. Yes, I try to be of help
and support to at least one person or one living being every day and in an emergency,
the situation that wouldn't be impermanent. I hope is that I would show
and I would try to be of help to myself and to others- and that could take any form- you notice- I'm not saying
I have a plan in place. How does helping other
people and vowing to continue to do so.
Help you handle.
Non negotiable change, a first of all the vow is actually not centred on people. It's
On all living beings about or try to help
living beings, and these days we think of the environment the earth as alive
being I certainly do, and how that file helps me to navigate none
Kosovo change is to understand that, if I can be of help to
any living being, which is pretty broad I'm. Hopefully we can do that
of any living being, including myself. In the moment. That's already produced a change. I hope you would agree with that.
If, in that moment, I am able to water a plant that is all dried up, but not ed. That's already produced a change. My action has produced the potential for beneficial change. One of my practices that I'd like to do one of my co workers at a bay meditation centre in oakland, where I teach once call me the gratitude tsar, because it's very long standing pray,
is that I try to write or call or email at least one expression of gratitude every day by gretta? Thank you card that goes in the postal male, certainly
an email. I hope that if we had-
algorithm that picked up how many times I have written thing,
you in an email that it would be thousands and thousands and thousands of times and verbal thank yous as well. Sometimes it's really fun to pick up the phone
and call someone that I've been thinking of whom I haven't been in touch with for a long time for it.
this, my poetry, mentor that I had in college,
we once in a while I'll pick up the phone and our fate david I've been
thinking of you and then
have a wonderful conversation, and these expressions of gratitude do have impact they produce change.
so yes, I think I understand what you're saying there in terms of instead of sitting back
can being a helpless recipient of change. Your actually out producing positive change,
and I wonder at the same time whether booting your own capacity for gratitude practising compassion which we know has all kinds of physiological and psychological benefits.
Creates a more resilient,
machine in the face of
whatever might arise absolutely and in my understanding that is, it puts us at all. I do have a practice of
Where can I do a fair amount of interfaith dialogue and work? In my experience, its
may be universal to what we might call prayer that activity that we call prayer is that one former prayer is to say. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for what I am receiving
Thank you for my life. Thank you for even though my life is miserable today I am alive, and so today
I have the potential to see and improve,
meant in my depression
why, for a lessening of my anxiety today, there is a potential
for someone I love, who is sick to get better. I do not
know what today will bring. Thank you thank you for this opportunity to find out, or there could be expressions of gratitude in prayer of thank you for. I recently got cataracts
in both my eyes I wake up. Every morning, dan- and I say thank you for my site- is often those kinds of prayers bring our tent
and back to things that we might normally take for
and it s moving with, as the buddhist teaching say too much force and speed too much momentum gotta
This gotta do that. I mean how long does it take to pause and stop? I am so grateful
my eyes, if I'm seeing person, I am so grateful for my lunch, not everybody-
lunch. We might not even like our lunch to acknowledge. Not everyone gets to have lunch at the big part of my practice, earned its extremely powerful
before we were run out of time. We have
couple of other characteristics,
or dharmu seals took power through here? So I wanna get a move on to
the next one, which is, as you said earlier, often harmful,
Lee translated is no self for knots.
and this is in my experience personally probably the hardest.
Buddhist notion to wrap your head around so
What say you visa v, the contention
The self is an illusion.
That's not an illusion. This is some.
that comes up over and over and over again with people who come to me as a buddhist teacher. This is my personal understanding from my own practice and study. The conventional self is not an illusion and
always say to people who ask if here in the united states- and it comes time to pay your taxes
and you tell the irs. I don't owe you anything, because there is no. I there's no permanent self here. They're, not gonna, buy it. If someone comes up unexpectedly and hit me in the face and ice cream. Ah, why did you do there there
is something there that is screaming out. There's not some illusion that immediately evaporates and doesn't feel the impact of basically being assaulted. There is a self
dan for you. What, if I said, forget about no self forget about nonsense,
Those are really bad translations in english. As far as I'm concerned really inaccurate, as you said, ham fisted. What? If I said to you Dan, do you believe about yourself that you have no unchanging self and that's an
been question actually because people who do believe in what might be called an immortal soul do believe in that, usually buddhists do not. So if I ask you what is your book
Is there some dan harris essence? That is totally unchanging? I don't think so. I have not found it and a couple of
Smart things come to mind said by other people: one is which often
translated as no self might be better translated by adding one key consonant, the letter tee, not self
meaning that if you sit in meditation or just pay
engineer anything happening in your mind right now. You cat point
add anything and say that is me or my: it is not self any anger. That's arising where's the essence of you in it and he thought your having tried of all that and point to it as yours.
seems like a pretty useful sorting mechanism. The other smart thing is coming up
I was said a pair
a tibetan monk who is actually from the tibetans,
sure, but apparently he's from mongolia, and it was said to Robert thurman, the buddhist scholar and I'm getting this.
Fourth hand, but he said this month did something to the effective you think you're real you are
but you're not really real, citing that canada disk,
the guy to pay my taxes and put my pants on
some fundamental level. If I look for some
homunculus of me between my ears are behind my eyes. I can't find it. That's a good
putting it and you were kind enough to before we started asking for the more
accurate pronunciation of my name machine
a korean, but his name. I think it was then
Korean then, but his name and machine is sometimes literally
slated as no heart, mind or not,
heart or no mind it's pretty. I would say, high class in aceh,
way then name because the word machine comes from the heart sutra
which is highly revered in my high buddhism, is very cryptic and people.
spend their whole lives contemplating it like what the heck does that mean? We can't figure it out with our normal discursive thought processes. It needs to be something that comes from spiritual experience and insight and break through, and therefore
or in the name that was given to me in toronto, canada, nineteen, eighty three when I took my vows, it holds adapt right there. Every day is looking me right in the face. If I'm
We assume- and I put my put his name into the name
field with my name and my pronoun said where I'm located, if looking at me had on just right in front of me all the time saying that there is in the buddhist teachings and in my own experience there is
no essential self. There are many other machines, I'm not unique, I'm not an isolated individual, whose, apart
from everything else. The other way of explaining this
and which, I am sure you have heard, is to say
I am not isolated
I miss silos self contain unit from everything else in the universe is the principle of interconnection. What is called into being, and that's not a fancy philosophical concept. The person I call I could not be who I in quotes, em with out everything that I have encountered everything I've thought about of my speech.
It says here I am I'm talking to you, and so this conversation is taking place within a unique relationship at a unique point in time.
So I'm showing up here like some version. Some version
me and your showing up as some version of you and there's definitely something there that we can point to if you acted inconsistent with previous versions of yourself list
some might say. I don't even think that stand harris or while he must be having a strange day same thing with me, people
who know me on a pretty daily basis, could say yeah that
savior with characteristic of the machine or the patricia we now or while she seemed to be totally off base. She was very, very different there that having been said
Can we continue to remind ourselves that, within each relationship within each, I guess
might be called a kick start, that there is a slightly too hugely different version of what we call the self that shows up that functions, and then that changes we talked up quite a bit of it.
The practical benefits of understanding, change of understanding impermanence. What are the practical,
fits of understanding that
don't have an unchanging negative self that we could find huge practical benefits. I think which
is to try to have a resilient mindset, and this is something I tried to teach
I try to learn is don't take something personally,
Unless you know one hundred percent get is personal. Mindfulness based cognitive, behavioral therapy, for instance, and related forms of therapy invites us to use mindfulness meditation to be able to catch and isolate specific thought
There are causing suffering a very, very common thought, would be people don't like me, people don't like me in a specific workplace, her at my church, her parents group, whatever people don't like me, that is a thought it may. Of course,
cause us to feel terrible paranoid and sad and angry and depressed, and then those types of therapies ask us to then back off from that, give it a little bit of space and saying how do I know? What's the actual evidence for that? Have five people from my group come up to me and said you know what I totally dislike you or email that to me have I actually got direct feedback? What data am I'd be thing the thought on this afflicted thought nobody likes me. I don't think people like me is that actually true, I'm not ruling out the fact that
Fact it might be true. It might be true in most cases that I know of it's not true at all the same person and I'm talking to you who one minute is crying and saying machine, I'm so terrible. Nobody likes
Nobody likes me, and I accept that is a huge form of suffering and when I say what's your evidence
for that. I can't tell you d and how many times the person has done a one hundred eighty degree, not a hundred twenty, that sixty degrees, one hundred eighty degree flip their face, brightened up their expression changes.
Showing up in a different part of their brain and F, a different part of yourself- and I say I guess, means you have no friends that same person will say. Oh no, I have five of the best friends in the world. They would do anything for me. I love my friends, so we do have different parts of the brain that don't talk to each other and these days
we have ways and mindfulness is very old. What we call mindfulness is very old. There are ways and practices that we can stop and paws and just try
Why not take it so personally or believe everything that we think and ask ourselves? Is this really true? It is a feeling, a feeling is true. If I feel sad you're not going to tell me, you don't feel sad. I do feel sad. However, if the thought that accompanies the feeling is- oh, everybody hates me,
I just know it these days, imposter syndrome, people think I'm competent, but if they really knew me, I'm faking it I'm a fake.
I hardly know what I'm doing and I will be exposed at any moment before.
To immediately not take it personally in the sense of thinking must be. True must be true, because I'm thinking it then were able to
usually form a more three hundred sixty degree in a more nuanced and usually a more positive model of reality in which were able to say you know what I'm pretty good at some things, I'm too
what other things unfair to meddling in other things and skills. I
trying my best
Overall, I am doing pretty well, that's not a sexy thought that the more accurate that, though not taking everything personally is huge. It is, could be a huge improvement in our lives. Yes, I completely agree
up next we're going even deeper. We're gonna talk about nirvana, and why,
machine believes universal. None. Discriminating love is synonymous with nirvana.
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I suspect will come back to this
in the meantime. Let me just power on to the third characteristic.
Lord dartmouth seal, although actually this is
kind of a three a and b situation, because,
the terawatt, our old school buddhism. The third characteristic is suffering another sub, optimal translation. You offered before the word unsatisfactory
in this and then in my and our later stages of buddhism? We come to the three be which is nerve on our new bonnet, which is the notion of relief from suffering or unsatisfactory. This
If you wouldn't mind, can you just sort of hold forth on these two related concepts? I'll do my best and I'll pick up on something that I don't
guy said before my understanding of the third point. In this, the model called the three dharuma seals.
A mere varner knee banner. The potential for liberation from Duca from suffering flash unsatisfactory knows that the word meaning of the word feel in the three dharmu seals is like a stamp of certification or approval like the way that all documents used it.
I see a stamp it with a seal, meaning this is genuine or you go to get a document
to be no derived. What did not hon, I believe said, is that we can know any teaching to be what we might call dark.
Which in british them has many meanings, one meaning is universal truth, a universal law. That
can know this teaching whatever tradition it comes from or no tradition. We can know this teaching to be true in the widest sense. If it is sealed with these three dharuma seals, so it can't be one feel it has to be one two three
stay up, there ok checks out for me at any rate right now, and so this,
is something that, in my life, I'm going to feel is one of those big truce. That's the meaning of durham seal, it's important for us and when I sent you pete,
Well, when, when I do, buddhist teaching is to again look at that tendency of the human brain for negative filtering and also to acknowledge, as I said, unless you're here in my buddhist class out of idle curiosity, which is possible, usually not probable.
because people's time is precious saw usually say unless you're her out of idle curiosity. I am assuming that you are here, because you are suffering in some way and very understandably so, a lot of my teaching
is focused with the n and held within the black indigenous people of color community people with disabilities and chronic illness, and again, the meditation centre that I'm with here in oakland, is centred on the needs of historically exley
the communities, including the elsie bt q. I ate you spirit, community people of color people with disabilities and chronic pain.
And so again I always say I assume that you are here because you're in pain and your seeking, of course, relief from paying this particular path. These particular teachings. These particular practices may not in fact be a cup of tea and I'm not here to force anything on you. What I'm here to do is try to introduce
few to these teachings and these practices, hopefully in a way you can relate to hopefully-
that's more accessible to you, so that you can try them on and see if they work for you if they do fine, if they don't no problem whatsoever. As I said, I myself have a personal practice of prayer, and this includes christian prayer, which I
I have received from very dear colleagues of mine who are very strong christian practitioners. That's part of my own personal practice, and it has relieved me of a lot of suffering it has worked and it continues to work so that third characteristic that third dharma seal,
Hopefully we won't forget. We have things, I hope in our life that are joyful that are happy that have absolutely no problem with them right now that are in a certain way perfect in the moment. Let's not forget those
and we ve probably wouldn't be showing up for a spiritual path of practice that demands discipline time attention is not sell fun,
often we probably wouldn't be showing up for that, unless we have what we might call suffering, unless we have problems we can't solve unless
were dissatisfied with our lives and in that sense, that third characteristic and that third dharuma seal is an invitation for each of us. If we like to turn our attention to what we can do to trips form what we might call suffering into compassion into insight into understanding that then brings us
greater happiness and those last words compassion, greater happiness, understanding inside that's kind of. If I'm picking up what you're putting down here
The three be my term of this, its thee
flip side of suffering, which, in buddhist circles
called nirvana our nirvana correct, and he gives
example. We had started out with some very difficult material.
Earlier on in this conversation, and I want,
to share with our listeners and with you again cause. I know you're apparent that when my child, whose middle age, though, was little, I realized- I was feeling this strong
anxiety? I only have one child. What if something happens to em? I live in oakland. Their drive
by shootings and things that happen all the time he went through. The oakland public schools
so I realized I was feeling very frightened. I was feeling really anxious and it was so pressing.
And I cleared some time during the day when the kid was in school and instead of doing the work,
choice and I needed to do. I sat on my bed. I was so miserable. I was so so so miserable and I sat on my bed and I did something I guess you'd call it meditation. I just thank into a place of very deep contemplation. I looked at it in the face and I said to myself: you can't escape from this,
you can't run away from this? This is something that is really affecting your everyday life cause. I was felt myself worrying, and so I just sat there and it took about four days. It was horrible four days. It was a horror.
Horrible, excruciatingly painful for days in which I went through all these levels of
distance and denial and so on in all these changes, and I did come out on the other side of it dan. I did I sweat in my way through it because, as the buddhist
petitioner having done up quite a bit of zen meditation, which is usually not fun. It's pretty arduous, I came out of it
on the other side- and I experienced a sense
incredible relief. An incredible happiness, so something should have
I dont know whether it be true or not. I might say to you. I was totally wrong. However, it feels true to me- and it has now for over twenty five,
years. Since that experience, when I came out on the other side of that for day period is kind of like a self retreat, and I came
and what I realise with this, that the love that I've experienced for my kid has been so life. Transforming has been so fantastic has been so incredible, hair
it's been so transformative in every way of my life. I am so grateful for it that that will endure. He may go through the process that we call physical death, but the love that I've experienced for him. I'm convinced that
it's going to carry through with me for a very long time, possibly forever, and that connects to universal love? It isn't just mine. What do you mean by that? It means that, for instance, in this conversation, although there
according is going to be audio. I'm looking at an image of you and I'm assuming you're someone's child, you
pop out of nowhere and I dont know what your relationship was to your parents,
I'm not probing at all. Wherever there is, that kind of relationship
it could be between a guardian and a child could be between a grand.
current and a child. I'm not saying it has to be a biological parents could be an adoptive
Guardian or para could be an older sibling and the younger sibling in those kinds of intimate relationships. What I mean by that is, there is the potential I believe for each of us to connect to what could be called universal law
universal compassion. Let me see if I can state some of this back
something that resembles a cogent sentence, or two
I think what I'm hearing is that there
is suffering or unsatisfactory, agnes in life and doing
counter intuitive thing of looking at.
squarely diving,
into it. Has the benefits of
a aligning us with what is,
He's a word. I use a lot non, negotiable, true and be oriented us talk,
third understanding in relieving the suffering that we experience and that others experience and that process kind of elevates us out of the muck. The love that you are referring to death didn't my
variance, if not true, all the time. I have plenty of bad days and my own struggles with hatred and aversion. However, as I said before,
It has really been my experience as a mother which was not planned, exe
It is by the way it was very unexpected. It has been legs.
of being a mother and working with a lot of kids to understand that it is, I think, also hard wired into us as human beings that the potential for connection
four relationship for nurturing relationship and for collective relationship
that really nourish people's well being within collective and with communities that that is absolutely part of who we are ass: human beings, so that potential
is there and a lot of my life work is dedicated to trying to support whatever
processes are there and whatever tools and skills are there that we can build as communities to take better care of each other to take better care of our elders to take better care of our children and a lot to take better care of our environment.
It's all about relationship is that care relationship. Love is that's an.
In IRAN. Absolutely and love can be
interpreted as the very sentimental or romantic word in English? We're talking here about universal?
discriminating love which is a pretty tall order. Again, I'm not saying that I've got it all down. I absolutely have not. However, I've had glimpses of head inside
I have a direction and a trajectory for my practice, and I think that it absolutely is nirvana. It is needed.
china. It is liberation from dissatisfaction, because I personally believe that there is always the potential in any situation for there to be, even in a brief flash, a loving and carrying connection that creates
sense of home, of safety of belonging of joy for at least one living? Be that's my faith
We started with the important question of so what who cares? Why should we care, although should became word that needed some mild litigation? But let me just circle back to that now that we ve talked about the list and a fuller way, I'd just like to come back to that
of the relevance of it all the way,
of at all is simple to me is: do we want,
come happier or not look at the title of your organization. Ten per cent happier, I
love that, because, on one hand, it uses the word happier
say, more enlightened or something it sounds like a bunch of be ass is like happier that's a subjective experience, and it also says ten percent
clearly like that. It's not even twenty five percent. Can we become ten percent happier if my personal belief and the buddhist teaching say all beings what
live and be happy, maybe we live and where surviving it does it
the fairly mean we're thriving or were happier we could be living
as many people are in a terrible war zone. We could be living
as many many people are, without access to basic, decent medical care and food and clean air to breathe, and that's not just human beings.
We look at our animal companions, dogs and cats. They suffer tremendously if they break their leg or have a kidney disease or something like that. We all want to live, and we all want to be happy
and I personally believe that by unpacking and having these kinds of
relations and inquiries that we ve just been doing. I personally believe there's a potential there for people to become a lot happier, or at least
percent. I pretty obviously agree with that, and these conversations are happening a lot at the place where you work east bay, meditation centre, wonder
Where were you want to tell you on the show, because I want to give you a chance
a little bit about ibm, see in ways that people are listening to the show can benefit from
you're putting out into the world and an supported as well. So I give you back the mike to share some thoughts on that. Thank you so much where
I primarily teach though I teach at many places. My spiritual home and many people spiritual home right now is called east bay. Meditation centre is located in downtown oakland, California. In the united states we call it a b m c,
and, of course, the physical site has been closed down during the pandemic were just preparing to try to have our first hybrid class will see how that goes.
and we might be able to switch to more hybrid classes if they met it.
Jim center? I think we're now well into our sixteenth, maybe seventeenth,
year where we ve, had our doors open and were an urban meditation centre based in buddhists teaching
and our communities are rooted in what we call diversity and radical inclusive, he we are of very very
diverse meditation community now with people from
all over the world who participate online, as well as people who are able to travel to the physical site and we are intentionally created that way and our whole purpose for being is to provide access to wisdom teachings.
practices that may be of help to people again. They may not, they can freely come and go because were offering every.
on what we call a gift, economics or donation
only basis so that there are no financial barriers, and this is a dream that we ve been.
able to realise, with a lot of help and a lot of brilliant, incredible
very creative activist. Artists. Tight people who have come together to create
community that we call sba meditation centre,
If we want to learn more, how do we do that
If you want to learn more, please come to our website, which is w w w dot east bay, meditation dot org, and we also have quite a few darling.
teachings up on our youtube channel and, for instance, we have a very active by park, or people of color sancho
Spiritual community that has a youtube channel with really wonderful talk, set, are accessible by every
What but those links up in our show notes if people want to dive more deeply
this in the meantime wishing thank you very much for coming on just to check
is there anything that I should have asked but didn't
willie not dismiss, has been very thorough for
conversation dan and I'm interested in your interest and very grateful for it. So thank you to pleasure. Thank you again for coming on
best of luck to you and to Ebay and see I'm a supporter personally were very grateful.
thanks again to machine, patricia Ikeda and please go check out the east bay meditation centre. Ten percent have you
is produced by dj cashmere, Gabrielle, sacrament, justine, davy, Lauren, smith or senior produce.
There is marisa schneider, men can be regular, is our managing producer and our executive producer is jen, point
scoring and mixing by Peter bonaventure of ultraviolet audio. We'll see you on fraud
for a bonus meditation.
and then make a little ask here.
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Transcript generated on 2022-08-11.