This is ten percent happier podcast dan harris. I again. This is, I think, going to be, incredibly useful episode for anybody who has ever had tough or tricky moments in their lives, in other words, it can be useful for anybody currently drawing breath on planet earth right. With that powerhouse duo on the show tilney Russia is one of the greatest living tibetan masters, who has a whole toolbox techniques for dealing with difficult moments. Habitual patterns and common meditation obstacles. He will be in conversation with Danny gomin. Daniel domain, as is often professionally known. His friends called danny. a train, scientist and science writer, perhaps best known for his landmark book, emotional intelligence together Turkey's membership and danny Gomin have just produced a book.

old. Why we meditate, which will be out in a few weeks and is currently available for pre order. This is the fourth and No instalment of our series called the art and science of keeping your shit together in each episode we bring together a meditative, add up to a buddhist scholar and a respected scientists. The ideas to give you that of both worlds to arm you with both modern and ancient tools, for regulating your emotions in this conversation we talk about the single word that so many members Shea believes captures the most challenging aspect of modern life, too, of the biggest obstacles from editors, especially early meditated. What ricochet calls the drop in practice his term, which I found especially meaningful, beautiful monsters, hill, explain that the four steps of the handshake practice for meeting difficult emotions. Being okay with them. Why reasoning with your feelings doesn't work how to experience a fundamental o keenness, independent of external conditions

a personal story from roget about being with one of his own difficult habits. What membership calls the three speed limits and finally belly breathing and each step along the way danny gorman is gonna chime in with what the science says about these various techniques. Ok, we'll get started It took me remember Shea and any common rafter this before we die into today, show I wanted to let you know about a special offer. We ve got for you from the good folks at the ten percent happier app, there's a famous quote. Usually attributed. the teacher rom does here. It is, if you think, you're enlightened go home for thanksgiving, I personally I think I'm enlightened, but family gatherings around the holidays can certainly put everybody to the test. So why not give yourself a little extra support

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If you didn't know you were paying, for, he may even find out you've been double charged for a subscription to cancel a subscription. All you have to do is press cancel and rocket money takes care of the rest. Get rid of useless subscriptions with rocket money. Now go to rocket money, dot, com, slash! Wonder he seriously! It could save you hundreds per year. That's rocket money, dot, com, slash wonder! He cancel your unnecessary subscriptions right now at rocket money, dot, com, slash wonder e it's not me, ampersand danny goldman. Welcome to the show. Thank you happy to be here Finally, with such a pleasure to be here rubbish Let me start with you, you, you say in this new book that a major part of your inspiration for writing the book or co authored the book was that you are finding that your western students were into actually grasping what you were teaching but

they were really getting it in their bones. Can you say more about that? Yes at the beginning of my tour to you. As I give not up teaching to committee base understanding and I thought it went very well. and then over the years. I think the communication between the committees, and in the feeling world a little bit disconnected sir. I thought I think we have to connect from our minds to the feeling world? That feeling can also feel the same understanding of the colony domains. Information side, develop some kind of dropping into the body and the open our hearts and then can receive the teaching in conjunction with the understanding and feeling transformation, so develops and practices that will go through over.

Course of this interview to get people out of their heads and into their bodies. I'm curious, though, Do you think's going on in terms of the differences that year seeing between your eastern students in your western students. Why is it that the western students were up we so good at grasping the techniques and the idea is intellectually, There was some block between the intellectual understanding and the more Visceral understand, I think, is the culture and the modern influence speedy and goal oriented and everything went into the head and trying to. Ass in the intellectual way and there's not enough time to bring into the body and made some time to digest open. I think that is lacking. You say in the book have made a note of this.

and I'm turning to it now, because you just use the word, but in the book you say if I had to pick- and this is a quote if I had to pick one word to capture the most challenge. Aspect of our modern lifestyle. It would be speeding us, Can you say more about speeding us? I found this a three spit limits: cognitive fast thinking, mind and then physical body movement, speed, and there is a call subtle body and energetic feeling connected with the emotion, and that is very much city in the world, especially in the modern world danny while were on this kind of high level, setting the table piece of the interview give any comments on on any of the foregoing that you want to jump in share. Well, keep referring to the cultural difference knifing, since, when

we are in this culture You may remember moments when you came home from school as a kid and your parents how'd you do on the test. They didn't say who was nice to you today? Who are you kind you today? They are two completely different question, which plies conditional love. we will love you if you do well, but also the first. If that is we want to help you? If you don't do well, I mean children get shaped by the culture, so we ve become driven, particularly those of us who becomes quite successful. The normal sense of the word, but I think part of that success- is that what rubbish is referring to a speedy knows. Where are you feel too driven to notice the people around you what's going on in your body,

this is one reason that mindfulness has such value for people today, because it brings them back to that in a member state has a really wonderful methods for helping people fine. What I would say is an organic speed limit, rather than the one that's been imposed. As I keep promising, we will get some of these techniques butler just ask one last contextual question here, and this is for you roget in the book. You say that the two biggest obstacles among early meditated is that you ve seen in your teaching are one- and I am quoting here again My mind is wild and I can't find com and to my most troubling thoughts, just keep coming back and coming back. Can you say a little bit more about these two principal obstacles? I thing for me:

come. This is not in the mind, and this is in the body, especially the subtle body when I say that nobody is not. The only did. Thinking is not a physical in between desert energy, subtle body. I think we need to stop that somebody. Then you cannot find companies in your mind. Unless you have to bring come in the body then The mai instead to become more clear and then meditation was very well and also in general. What do you want to do? There's a clarity in your mind. Ok, second, one is. I call repeating a thoughts as the part over reaction towards two faster and the second thought is reacting so there's aware I sort of developed practice, call handshake practice to aware of that reaction

and stay with that and not doing anything step with that either emotional reaction of cognitive version be with that reactive, mind and relax, and then that will open up a thought. There's some magic when aware of that reactive thought: relax that then that open up, because everything is imminent and where there is in feminine there's a space then tat. I had something course, anytime. You want to jump. Then you own it s permission, so you asked the fact that keep coming back and it was important in the evolution of representatives methodology for the westerner that he had areas of conversations with my wife target, a whose a pioneer. integrating mindfulness with a kind of go dynamic kind of therapy,

and she and her book emotional alchemy, which membership listen to this, but the top ten such repetitive thoughts like fear of abandonment, no relationship or a emotional deprivation. No one cares: help me or so sacrificed through these it means that we develop early in life and shit about how to transform them, how mindfulness, for example, can help you will not be so powerfully taken Over by them in membership will later talk about. I think if you want to his beautiful monster concept, which grew out of those. Conversely, so basically target helped him understand westerners, have these patterns that we experience is regrettable, thoughts and feelings it was and then how to work with them to transform them, and then he he took it in his own direction. While I have you, danny Aruba shape keeps making references to subtle body, he did find it, but I want to bring you in as the represent

of science. Here too, maybe see you there and to add on that Then, as you know, science does not know everything. One other thing: science knows nothing about it: the subtle body, it's a concept. That you find in yoga, and you find in tibetan buddhism, well developed it's an ancient understanding of a very I have to use words subtle again: energy love that matters to us enormously, which Western sciences frankly oblivious to- and so I looked to people like rubbishy as experts- but I can't think of a single western scientists, maybe richie davidson. Who knows Think about it, but given all of your training, both in meditation or contemplative world and in the scientific and research and journalistic world, the concept lands for you in a to you? Well, you know you think about

how emotions come to us. They come to us, unbidden out of somewhere else right. All of a sudden, you feel sad or whatever it may be, and I think that there is level of this road the word. You used biological no reactivity seizing within us. That perhaps has to do with the subtle by That may be where they come from and I also think that these systems yoke exist. comes into bed in india. Both say is extremely important. To be able to manage your subtle body in order to make progress in special practice. But I can claim to be an expert I'll always take that as an answer. We come from a tradition where not knowing is vent

Ok, so let's we ve been dancing around the various techniques. But let's start where you start in the book with the first technique tat. You offer rent mache, which is called drop it. What is drop it practice dropping is older extra worry kay by mind and also in the subtle body in the course body I call back back so is there a distorted a minute and then left over in your system, and we still taking that as part of our being Sir, I thing in order to really open up, there's something you can drop, so the mine is all up here holding on the unnecessary hope in fear. Those hope in fear not relevant into our life but is still power up.

Infant and we wholly on that, and we don't What do you do with it? So desert the size is mega breeding out and the hen putting down and the attitude is that illegal, whatever happens happen whatever doesn't happen. So what. Almost I who care and if you want a mega mantra somewhat. Who cares because We have love and compassion in our heart, but sometimes we cared to mice sigh make this exercise. We legal everything first as much you can, then we can nurture the healthy love health care has the inside to help yourself to help others. So my one is like this: if you're holding something in your hand, I think that it should put it down, then you can hold next one night,

But why are you holding that left? Our no use anymore, kind of distorted. and then, if you want a whole new things, there's no room, there's no space, so fast drop means drop. All your concern, whether I'm good note right or wrong people. Let me know me all this except ashes, conscious, just drop and beat out stay there for just one two, three four seconds and aware of that freedom. Because you still have a conscious, you still nine, this is there a way, is there except you are not holding extra peckish. So let me see if I can repeat that back to you a little I imagine this is a practice we can do in formal meditation or

the course of your daily life. Yes, both yes, but so in either. tat. You may notice! Oh I'm completely caught up in. Anger or fear, or some difficult emotion, and You can do this kind of radical. Think of who cares and people listening couldn't see. You're just a relations, but you are using your arms as you did. This practice is almost like. You can physically mimic the dropping whatever junk is in your backpack onto the ground and then take a deep breath and enjoy a few nanoseconds are freedom from whatever it is. You were carry correct beautifully that yes,

and then you stay there for a while, not breathing. In britain out the moment, you dropped from your head and little bit shake your body and then hand drop into your knee and then like this. And they stayed there for a while and aware of that beautiful freedom. And if you can do time to time that- and that could be your reference point- that the a's clear, open without useless back back but to be clear, rent mache. This exercise is not going to solve. Whatever problem you have, it would have solved some problem, but not

everything sorry next technic. We need handshake practice because some people then just dropping. We need a transformation. So we need a painless inside mine for this awareness and be with the beautiful monster I call left over in print in our subtle body or our unconscious, so we have to meet them, stay with them. Listen. Many emotions in prince is in the body, not only in the mind, so I make difference and committeemen base a feeling body or emotional base danny. As you know, the way the book a structured, obviously know that since you corroded the way the book a structured

Russia will offer teaching and then you'll swooping with the science so swift away on this one on the drop in practice. So, In a western sciences studied, anxiety for year decades actually and they ve come up with several different kinds of worry, one of which is extremely unhappy full, it's called technically rumination. We think about that same thing that upset you over and over, and you wake up the two in the morning. Thinking about it and it's the first thought you have the next day and it doesn't help because it doesn't solve the problem Useful worry, in contrast, think about something you can do a step you can take, and then you can leave the worry and then take the step. That's quite healthy! That's functional! worry. I dont know that war is even the right word. Its planning, so just contrast, those too,

would represent talking about is the worst kind, the rumination and what to do with it just to give ourselves a break from it, and it makes very good scientific sets, of course, dropping something for a couple of seconds using it to solve the problem it just can give you respite from it and in terms of the methodology that ruby shade deploys in his approach to meditation those seconds referred precious because they make a clean here that there is a way of being, as he said, which is just open awareness, that's not occupied by word thoughts and that that will be built on. Can you define open awareness? I think it's been well defined in the mindfulness area by simply payment, Anyone know what's going on now without judging, but he adds.

Something a little more profound, without worrying without even may be thinking just open. Aware of awareness. Can I say something here, of course, neither of you needs to ask for permission. You could just talk.

I'm scared for you, so I should ask yeah, I know yeah they can do so open awareness is like this right up to your dropping, and then you find some freedom they're not glue by all the stuff and then you're aware of that openness and be with that openness. For some time until the next glue comes in many things, you can let it go by dropping, but some are deeper than that. Then we need a next practice to honor. That deeper part of the difficulties could be many things as a danny mentions, top ten's top twenties so which is the most

When do you and then invite awareness from cognitive, mind and aware of our body first and within the body, then there is the difficulty rigid could be, sadness could be. Hollowness could be big, regret, many things and then the hen up their awareness go there astaire next to it, don't do anything, just listen from the wounded or difficult feeling of emotions and be closer and closer, and then one day from the emotion start to open up, then I called face is meeting. Second. Is conversation

and tat is become, liberation opens and friend, so is what you're describing here the handshake practice that is described in the book this before we got dive into this I want to hear more members say about the. Why and wherefores and how's of the handshake practice, but look tat for a moment about beautiful monsters, where did you get this and what do you mean by it? In a buddhist tradition, we have a true habitual residence. One is called comic, habitable tibetans coming from past life and influence our prison existence? Another one is from learn habitual pattern from childhood up to now in debt habitual batten. Some heavy some are not happy

I held the one. I call is a distorted habitual pedant, so I say beautiful monster. It feels real, but it carries distorted messages. It is real, but not true, so in the west. I think we refer to these. As our demons- and you know for me by some of my demons- are selfishness and anger and fear, and I've come over time. to see that these demons that I was at war with for many decades were actually trying to help me, but not doing it the right way, and so. when you talk about beautiful monsters. That's where I go in my mind. Does that make sense to you what I'm saying? Yes, but I think days, beauty in that of course. Yes, because they're trying to help you,

they are trying to help you and then, if you understand well, then it will help others you'll understand others and then in a sometime the difficult, beautiful mustard and if you resolve the difficulties it opened up, and I think this tremendous joy and compassion arise- and you understand especially your friend your bag, as your parents, your children's are they're having the same difficulties, but if you don't transform them- and you are under the power of that completely that his leg, as you say it can be demon, but not necessarily, the beauty of it, so the real beauty in you our view, is that when you make peace with these stirs or demons or whatever you want to call them it's the way.

well spring of compassion or let it allows you to understand everybody else who has, of course their own beautiful monsters or demons or whatever word you want to use correct, because we all have some kind of beautiful monster, Sometimes I say if you dont have a beautiful monster, you are normal? So we have two three four five and then some other connected. So have you no one how to transform? While there is a small liberation, I'm scale hired so now I had handshake practice. I didn't cognitive clarity embody. This is left over from past things is in my system, but it is not me. It's just a let our I know. I respect that, but I dont need to believe hundreds

We have two separate identity from that beautiful muster the soon we fail this identity. There is a space my mind and the beautiful muster. Does openness so can help each other if everything lumped with the one this and then there's no space, for opening after the break, ricochet will talk us through the steps of the aforementioned handshake practice. You learn why reasoning with strong feelings is likely to be a losing strategy and repay. Well share a personal worry about how he has dealt with one of his own difficult emotional patterns or imprints, as he calls them a fear heights after this. there's a new limited series and now streaming on hulu, welcome to chip adele's Starring camille, non johnny, Murray, bartlett, Emily ashford and at louis, is inspired by the dark, too

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What you need now and pay overtime, carnea new and stick our customers, get twenty five dollars one hundred dollars when paying with clarinet with code clarinet, twenty five term supply, see insofar dot com for more details in the west? We have this note enough slaying our dragons but you're posing a very different technique for dealing with difficult emotions, and that is the aforementioned hand. This practice. Can you describe how we would do this practice? As I understand it, there are four steps. First thing is this to hand the coda do hand and the feeling base and come to debase and

Are you where you should call is a mind, is annoying mind, thinking, mind awareness and a clarity, so when I said, drop drop means that the repeated thinking mine yup, but not annoying. Not that awareness, not a clarity, so we invite awareness to aware of your feelings. I think this is very important. Many people they cannot feel themselves there. No there's some feeling, but they are not really connect aware of their feeling. even the physical feeling, so keep aware of your feeling and then one day you feel your feeling is not that you know you're feeling. I want you to feel your feeling and then

connection with awareness and feeling together and handshake the beautiful muster so there's a kindness and as a insight, there's a full key points, not suppressing not indulging and not running away from the bureau monster, stay in the same room and not bringing some antidote to the beautiful muster that you are not ok and I'm going to fix. You abide special method and that will not work also.

Because I'm wounded nets is there so only kindness trying not to do this for key points and stay in that feeling doing nothing but aware and feel the pain of the beautiful muster no rejecting not holding nor suppressing, try motor fix. I think he is a compassion is a kind I called men. Judging is the kindness, so I think first, our beautiful mustard, knit some kindness and after that, slowly open up

That is the nature of everything. If you're trying to do to stow slowly, it would open up it's like a you know. I saw a lot of movies. The horse trainers sometime. The typical horse doesn't like human, so the person go there, do nothing, just be there being in front of the horse, be calm and relax and go closer and closer and closer some bind the horse will trust you, because you're being there so being with beautiful monster, is the first step that is called. I call kindness the mind need to be there. Awareness need to be there with a feeling of beautiful monster. Before you do anything waiting is kindness. Listening is kindness. Doing nothing is kindness. I didn't want to transform the human blockages,

if you give amazing lecture from your mind to the feeling, but feeling will not feel that way, because young giving lecturing you're giving inside We give so much too. A beautiful monster tend to open up. I think that beautiful must is signal, our knowledge, our method. so anything coming from mind is shut down and is most has to communicate its other. We always combined. We always give order, to the feeling world? We never listen our feeling, we scale listening feeling, and that is not the way we must listen. If you cannot listen, then you ve gone leader be far away, maybe two feet away: three: if it away and just stare nearby com, dont give any story just relax and come, then I thing beautiful monster might,

light you and joined together, and that can happen. So if I'm hearing your correctly, getting out of the mode of trying to fix anything this handshake practice can be done. Informal, detention or any time I'm in our lives and the forced steps are one dropping which we discussed a few moments ago, taking a moment to notice, what's happening it to actively drop it. Step too, is meeting seen clearly what europe The full monster is up to in any moment, step three is being with without trying to interfere bringing your awareness to whatever Occult emotion is at play your body and in your mind at any given moment and instead forest waiting and all of this you described as kindness. You have what warm intentions visa v, your difficult, emotion,

visa v demons visa. The your beautiful monsters so my. Why you're my restating this with some degree of accuracy, correct. And eventually there's one step. Come is called communication. How do you communicate? It's not true. You communicate to the beautiful muster you're carrying out the mist, understanding of this imprint somewhere it happened, but you still carrying decision until now. I think in a time to let you go that. Are you talking to the feeling not like giving order? And then some point from the feeling from the beautiful monster will fill oh, I am, I shall let you go, is no real yeah, I'm carrying around

session. Ah, I can find openness year. No one is judging me now enough, love that I can express myself, no one hammering on my head usually a difficult emotional start to express. Then we gave a hammer suppressed deluging or unaware, or you are not. I don't like it. I dont want to feel this way. I'm going to go somewhere else to escape. That, then, is the wrong direction so now, you're not doing all of that and the difficult beautiful monster start to trust your and then my can bring all the great understanding in the world and the mind and the feeling start to communicate, not only mine is tending to the feeling feeling also

express, and there is a neutral understanding why that is the beginning of transformation. Danny. What's the science, because europe gauging in a handshake with your beautiful monster. That's not scientific language. Obviously, although I think it's quite beautiful, what is the resource suggest about what the efficacy of these kinds of prey This is might be down when I looked at the literature of surprise to find that the literature, the scientific research actually gloomy, supports this approach and referred western point of view demons? Did you call overtime about learn, dysfunctional emotional patterns? We all have the miserable she says: it's not normal in the west, not to have them and psychotherapy is based on health people they always some pressure?

But what I fell looked at the literature is that there is some wonderful worked at stanford university on acceptance thereof, disdainfully golden head people social phobia. They were just the mortified, no speaking front of other people inside he had Think about the worst scenario. They could imagine and then just be with the feelings, in an exception nine judgment away and it turned out Did you really helped them not because by those feelings. Air was very strong, steady hand. It is completely supports this The way we should mention in passing horse whispering the movie is referring to is the hoarse whisper? and tar second book, was mind, whispering which talks about how to use these methods to transform these patterns. There's another sort

I'd like to acknowledge John well would who was a student? A reputation talked about the danger of spiritual by passing, which is using your meditation technique to suppress rather than deal with and transform, and I think of rubbish heap. He is in the book that this too is an influence thinking about all this, because it's a big danger like when I first meditated I just did with undergraduate anxiety, and it was a relief to do not feel it for a while. But you go anywhere near the beautiful monsters. Demons are the patterns. If you do that, also in the west, and I don't know how much data there is to support this approach, but we'll talk about it, They show about a style of therapy called internal family systems or I fs where you're,

Cut cultivating a relationship with the various characters. In your mind, I believe the term that I've as practitioners used is your parts and in this kind of therapy you're actively in dialogue with your parts or that's is another saying your beautiful monsters have you heard of this second and jerry thoughts about how well it rhymes with what russia is teaching, well. I don't really know much about. I understand so I won't comment, but I will say that others, The therapeutic approach, acceptance and gratitude therapy, witches Kindly awareness of your patterns, which has been actually quite well validated and his coat, I would say, synergistic with more precise approach. All of us militate against militating.

And the western idea of slaying your dragons. It seems like all the research you're looking at would strongly suggest the slaying is a fool's aaron that the better approaches up a sort of befriending. Absolutely yes, ricochet back to you. Another key practice you describe in the book is called essence love. What is that, after dropping and after handshake practice, then whatever difficult beautiful monster start to open up and you find some space some open and then the connecting in our one of the innate nature- and sometimes I call is a bit right- there is a love. There is a spock. There is a fine joy within us intrinsic me, so that start to show up.

Because the whole thing is tat to balance and when you will be aware that, since love and be with that and nurture that with that in mind,

an awareness and slowly slowly, that grew someday. I could grow some time is express and then did express, loving, kindness and compassion, but you ve lost that every last. That connection then, instead of well being of a since love, we fill hollow some. How you feel this hollow and lonely without any particular reason- and I think that is modern problem- we give too much value outside and trying to make happy ourself and instead of connecting with our basic happiness, I called essence love, and that is happy without any reason happy by some love by itself and once we found that we found in their strength in the way

being then what it will be engaged outside. I call extra happiness, basic happiness, extra happiness, but you look too much on external happiness. I don't think that is the right direction. I think we need both. So the essence, love is just basically fill okay. I'm ok, difficult things happening around you, but deep down. I'm ok! Why? You ok, there's no reason, I'm sure the comedy mind will ask you why you ok and then I said- I don't know- I just ok, I think we should value that that labour child heart when we were young. We had that, but then some point we lost connection from that. So I want to-

open old blockages and reconnect with that. Well being of essence, love and then from their express, loving kindness, compassion, for the world, then I think you'll minimize unnecessary suffering in the world, so this fundamental volcanoes that you describe this happiness for no reason. It sounds Great I'll, have what she's having. But how do we access that? What are the action, a ball practices that we could do to get there get there is handshake with you don't feel. I'm ok aware of that feeling, and hence that little open up, then there is openness. Is there? Oh, I don't understand

difficult this one, how to practice this one. All this thought reaction, emotion, handshake that and stay with that lead that open up then there's the well being is a freedom? That's a love! So the way to go there is connect with not okay, feeling mit, then not okay. if a and b with that and the passion and weight, and sooner or later it will open up, and then there is a b, then there is the essence, though, smiling to you because it's your nature, it is joy, intrinsic yeah. Meditation is sometimes described as a practice of purification, and I feel like maybe that's what I am hearing you described here, which is its counter intuitive, but you have to lean in with some warms to the difficult aspects of your mind.

And in that way, you kind of burn it off and what's left is the essence love your describing you can component of, but I will say open up and not only the mind, difficult mind is a difficult feeling. I'm fine, do more more different between feeling world and the cognitive mind. I was story, though one time I was in the militia, there's a tin tower and there's a breach is amid arab glass. So I was working on that after I states why I was so scared that almost like, I felt that I was dying so then I went back then I thought maybe something wrong with the breach size check and the beast was so safe lotta people going and coming good about people taking photo there? My

on friend already when there then I thought, while the busiest so save my intellectual mind, understood my investigation kind of mind that found the british so said that after all knows now stop problem. So I the second time. I thought I'm ok the same place, something happen and then there's a split between the mine and feeling and says: go is safe, the feeling from the body and services. Not if you go, you die so. Can I do now, should I listen they're mine seller? Listen the feeling, Simon back, because I could work. Then I thought this is not the bridge,

something inside of me that afraid of hired triggered by the bridge. So then I felt I firstly compassion to my infant in so while we all have to encounter impotent and I have a debt imprint, then I am sure with that in mind, I shall mantra with that in Britain and then I do all this. What we're talking about. and eventually I got a confidence or feeling confidence feeling from the feeling says. Ok, now you can go site. Try a third time. Then I can cross the bridge surprise that I would never cross it. I run away from that. I will know across the bridge. I closed my mind. Someone carry me to cross the bridge. That is not beautiful thing to do so. The best is too, Because cognitive mind knows the villages said the problem

not a reality. The problem is a leftover impotent and you have to be kind to that is in you. It's not a one button you can delete is not like that. You have to be there be patient and it will open up. You have to have trust that we need a symbol, trust to the beautiful monster that it will open up. I like that story. I've been dealing with some claustrophobia on planes, recently, and I was talking to a therapist about it, and the last thing she said before we hung up was don't fight. It don't try to lead your fear. It's just going to make it worse. But day, let me bring you back in on the scientific tipp here. This notion of essence: love fundamental, okay, us a capacity be happy for no reason arthur data on this week I have the data referred children, toddlers love it naturally through joyous, they love life. They were happy for no reason

Richard davidson at university, wisconsin found he developed a curriculum and kindness for preschoolers, but he did some follow up research where he found the wall. Children had this kind of joy, before they went to school once they started going to school, they got into a kind of competitive me first had set and they killed it and that's where we live most of us most of it. so what rubbish is talking about is getting back to a kind of joyous outlook on life that we have had before his children, and psychology researchers coming around this, after ignoring it for decades under the rubric, for example, of well being. There's lots of work going on now on how to help people, feel well, be well on that

things emotionally as well as biologically, and there are many methods mindfulness being one of them. For doing this now. Richard davidson, who I mentioned, has a free out, for example, that helps people. Do this And there are several components of at. One of them is interesting, be having a sense of purpose of meaning in life the way you're doing matters in some way seems to help people get to this well being- and I think, grip, assays methods are- are very direct path to this. Coming up more practical tips and tools, including The member states concept of the three speed limits belly breathing and his contention that the exhaustion you are experiencing may be less of it. Of how much you're working and more of a function of how much you're subtle body. energy is to use his term banging away at you after this these days,

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Climate change is obese. Inspire matches the dirty energy random with clean energy in the war people who sign out well, he might help take that we stand for growth in spite of clean energy power, a brighter world switch inspire clean energy, star com rebecca, I think, we're time for one more practice. If you'd like to go there speed speed to want to talk about speed that a bit sure what about speed is interesting to you to discuss at this point. I also have a disputed problem, sir.

I have my own well dealing with that, and then I found is very helpful for myself and I can see almost every of my friend students. Somehow they have distorted a speedy inside their feeling. Sir, I think I want to help myself help my friends to identified there's three kinds of speed limit. One is the common mind thinking past, for example. Some big joke you immediately. Love is no! No! You love after one minute, so the fast thinking is very good and then body you have to have it some kind of speed limit that you move as much you can. Out of that, you can a function, but then there is the emotional, subtle body related. Banking, on your mind and your body, for example, if your flying after three days

speedy already into in your mind, you already went to airport few times for example, one time I was in uk. I was waiting to go into the restroom, but no one is I got out, so I was waiting wedding in some point. Someone is coming a stat to come out. Then at the oy he's coming out. Oh, he is coming out. So I win to debt, door soon as the open door I went inside then he's it. So let become our first Then, of course he came out I went in then I was what is happening with me, but I saw that unrealistic. Speeding is in my being is it feels like you? Don't have enough time? Must vashe mustache mustache But when I look at my was, three more. I was to go, save idle, that is a distorted spiritedness.

so there's a way. You aware of that and an awareness may expect events and aware of that, Maybe this is not your mind. Is you're not you're physical is energies, subtle, body restlessness, bringing down. do your never and then relaxed at I need to relax your physical relax that richard energy away out there, the kind that relaxed that then you can be speedy speed in up the physical body. You can think fast, but this restlessness and just feeling is not banking on your body. I think most of us when we got exhaust burnt out is not by how much you walk. How much you thing is how much this energy is banging on you. So the price

it's in the book that you recommend as an antidote to speeding this, if I understand correctly, is belly breathing. can you describe how to do that practice. This list of illegal french coffee press. So when we have this, pity into in your system. Everything goes up into your head and then turning their So you are aware of that This law will be. Was like a mind skin with a feeling and britain, And while you're breathing in that restlessness is coming down and relaxing and then you hold and put it in your whole five seconds or seven seconds there with a relax, then you'll breathe out and breathe. In again, you feel the burning restless hot nigga.

eyes very small mouth dry back heart, legate steam is coming from your head, a while those symptom and then scan down and breathe in and pushed down a bit and hope If we do this again and again, then within while my head is clear and eyes is also very beautifully rest, a mouth also know so dry. The steam of hit us come down and then one day you can hold that breath very generally there, while you're working while you're meditating or anything there. Some got said the cycle of grounded body, not so much eddie NASA my speedy but sufficient enough to

What are you need to do danny? I think this kind of deep breathing there's a lot of research to suggest it really can reset the nervous system. to take you from sympathetic nervous system, arousal, anxiety and being uptight. Speeding. This rubbish is calling it actually physiologically shift you two parasympathetic, which is the rest and recovery mode of the body, and it's been well established, physiologically that this occurs there's some even more interesting data from less, which is When you made this shift, you get greater harper s, ferry ability, which we don't hear much about, but it turns out, heart rate. Very ability is quite adaptive. It means that your heart can go fast. It can go slow

and it can adapt to whatever a particular challenge of the moment, so that a bonus that comes along with this fifth but the main shift is too calm. You and clear your mind. Gain membership were almost out of time, but We fear toward the end of our time together. Are there any closing thoughts, you'd like to share either or both of you One of the things that I really value about refugees approach is that Does it ignore what modern research in psychology says, but rather includes it and builds on it with the ancient wisdom from tibet, which has been our working for a thousand years and western psychology just really is beginning to learn about what eastern methodologies for working

if the mind can offer us- and he integrates them into what I think is a quite useful, pragmatic and beautiful way. I really like to see our future generation to reconnect all not lose this basic wellbeing of essence, a lot. I think they will make very calm. I think it will contribute to the planet crisis because, if you feel hollow we need so much unnecessary stuff and that, I think, is very bad for a planet. So if you have a basic well being then, why do you need it can be in the right amount and uniting our planet can survive, and it is also will give you some.

In a real expression of love and compassion to the world, and last one is became to your beautiful muster, is known. You, but is part of you right now be aware and be kind and kind in the form of none Jesu being his kindness and let it open up by himself, and we must have trust that beautiful monster can open. I did want to say that kids is transformational advice on my own experience. I might language it a little differently. Sometimes talk about high finding my demons, this counter intuitive move of showing warmth and kindness towards these inner aspects of our experience that we eventually

We are taught to struggle with. It can really change the way you're relating to yourself into the world and of course those two are deeply and inextricably linked so rubbish. I thank you so much for common on the show. Thank you for writing the book. Danny always great to see you always do this with you love. likewise. Thank you. Invite me here happy to see you thank you for shared it. Thank you. Thanks again to turkey's membership and danny golden, I should say I ran into so be ready in person here in india, where am recording this intro and outright for this episode after recorded, remotely, would certainly membership. I flew to india to do an interview with his holy the dalai lama, which will be bringing to you in the new year, but why? I was here. I ran to absolutely rubbish. Ain't got to spend some time with an amazing person just really blown way by him in person for go just a thank you to everyone.

Who worked so hard on this show. Ten percent happier is produced by dj. Kashmir real sacrament, justine, davy, immoral smith or senior prom. is marissa. Schneider men can be, Lorries are managing producer and our executive producer is jen point scoring in may by peter bonaventure of ultra violet, audio see, while on friday, for a bonus and then make a little ask here if you like our show- and you want to support, the work we are doing. There are some quick and very easy things. You can do to help us out. First, please leave us a five star ray being an review. Those are really helpful. There's a reason why podcast hosts ask for them all the time. Second, please

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