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Don't Take on Others' Stress | Bonus Meditation with Jeff Warren

2020-04-10
Stress doesn't have to be contagious. This session will guide you through staying boundaried, calm, and kind when stress is in the air. Meditation Available on Ten Percent Happier: https://10percenthappier.app.link/Umgwk77ly5 Jeff Warren on Ten Percent Happier: https://10percenthappier.app.link/jeff-warren About Jeff Warren Website: https://jeffwarren.org/ Jeff is an incredibly gifted meditation teacher. He's trained in multiple traditions, including with renowned teacher Shinzen Young. Jeff is the co-author of NY Times Bestseller "Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics," and the founder of the Consciousness Explorers Club, a meditation adventure group in Toronto. He has a knack for surfacing the exact meditation that will help everyone he meets. "I have a meditation for that" is regularly heard from Jeff, so we've dubbed him the "Meditation MacGyver."
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
For maybe see the ten percent happier vodka than a guy's drop in a bonus meditation into the. Beat today from my friend. I really love this guy Jeff Warren have written a book with him before and he's just dinner. Source of a lot of inspiration and humor, and in my life, as I said, I M reminded we should get Jeff on Pakistan anyway. Just got a great meditation today, specifically aimed at helping you not take on other people's stress during this pandemic. I suspect that's a habit. Many of us have sadly fallen into and gesture to help with that. So here we go Jeff, worn and we'll be back with a fresh episode on Monday
Hi this is Jeff, have you noticed how being around stress people can itself be kind of stressful? Our shoulders can get. Tents are hackles, go up. Often we wanna get as far as possible from the person in front of us. Welcome too emotional contagion. The social transmission of our emotional states here is a simple practice for working with this. It can be done after you, ve been around someone who stressed- or it could be done in the moment, with M in front of you are you're working at the the joining desk or simply nearby? Let's try it start by taking a few settling breaths so breathing in. Stretching up dead on the inhale when then You breathe out, that's the downward motion. The softening and relaxing new can have your eyes open and half mast feel like or closed
Take another nice long exhale and, as you breathe out deliberately soften your forehead and soften the eyes, the cheeks in the jar, the next exhale softening the shoulders in the belly so see. If you can find some anchor in your experience, that is something to pay attention to that feel comfortable or solid. So maybe it's the sensation of the breath or of your feet on the ground. Maybe it's the solid feeling of your whole body a few moments to explore this.
Ok, so as we keep going just remember that at any time you can come back to that anchor. This practice has two steps. The first. is to be clear about your own stress reaction, and the second is to US ride. That reaction by finding some presents and compassion for the other person so often work In a stress reaction, without really knowing its happening, we react unconsciously, the situation. So, first, let's work on our own I really do a little investigation of your mind and body starting at the head, and then moving down for the neck and core. As you go ask yourself, how do I know and stresses happening to me or the Tell tale,
islands. Where does it show up in my in my body explore this? Maybe there is tension in your head racing thoughts, maybe you're sure there's our hunched or there's a contraction in your chest or maybe a a sour feeling in the belly. What are your bodies, ways of letting you know, you're inside a stress response? It super useful to learn about us, so keep feeling into a little bit if at any point the star
feels like as too much then let go of the investigation and go back to your anger.
The ability to notice where we hold our stress is the first step in managing it as we get more space around it more or less likely to act unconsciously from it. Ok, so we can let go of this exploring now take a few moments to go back to your anchor nice long, exhale, relaxing your shoulders, relaxing, even your belly of it, Alex
Linda Part too, which is to generate some compassion and presents for the person who stressed you out in the first place. The idea is that, instead of being emotionally swamp by their vibes, we're gonna practice generating an act of state of caring for them start Thinking about this person bring them into your minds, I imagine or face there. Their body presents the ideas to connect to a sincere desire for the stress they feel.
the ease up, a desire for them to have more space, rounded and approved ability to hold and manage it. So a short phrase can help here, something like maybe will choose a sentence or a word that works for you and soda repaired to yourself for bed. With this person in mind. Try this.
The exact sentence doesn't matter so much. What matters is you ve noticed this person is trust and you're connecting to your own very real. Annabelle desire for them to feel better. The M This is really on connecting to your own sense of solidity and presence. There may even be a sense of boundary present were you can see their stress not take it on and still tap into some compassion for how hard it is for them right now. May you be well May you feel settled as you repeat your Fraser, your words see if you can fly
Oh your own, solid, monsieur your own steadiness goods are not going in the problem solving mode here, not thinking about how you can fix this person or their Strasser their stressful situation. Just holding space for them may be well. The active stance of this response feeling your own bodies, solidity in presence, can.
override your own stressful feelings to feel into this solidity? While you repeat your phrase. Present solid holding your ground as you wish this person, while the idea is-
you are connecting to your own solidity here and you're, holding it down, noticing both your autonomy and presents, but also any carrying that you may have for the other person they can both be there.
Nice, so, let's wind down here notice how you feel now compared to where you began things do feel a little more settled than this could be a good practice for you to return to. You can do this meditation after you've been around someone who's. And you want to reset yourself or you can do it in the moment with that person near by air and fry you, it's all about, overriding around stress response with this deliberate sense of presence and caring for the other person when you ready and open your eyes for nice job practising this social stress buster. Thank you for your practice.
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