« The Babylon Bee

Episode 2: Good Good Fathers

2019-06-24 | 🔗

Join editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle for the second ever Babylon Bee podcast. 

NOTE: The day after this episode was recorded, Ethan's book Bears Want To Kill You was put back up on Amazon without explanation. He has no idea why they put it back up, or took it down in the first place, or if it will stay up. 

Here are the week's discussed news stories with timestamp:

Story 1 (5:10) -  Essential Oils For Men Now Available

Story 2 (11:40) - Elizabeth Warren Promises to Cure Smallpox

Story 3 (15:55) - Study: Hate Clicks Are A Major Source Of Web Traffic And Also 'The Princess Bride' Is A Trash Movie That Only Stupid People Like

Topic of the Week (24:10) - Fathers  

Bonus Content (paid subscribers only)

Bonus Story 1 (49:53) - New School Program Raises Awareness Of Things Kids Didn't Know They Were Supposed To Be Offended About

Bonus Story 2 (56:25) - Rookie Mistake: Sound Guy Accidentally Unmutes Background Worship Singers

-Subscriber Q&A (1:02:28)

Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
In a world of fake news, this is news you could trust broadcasting live from Babylon you're listening to the Babylon Bee. Here are your infallible hosts Kyle Man and Ethan Nicole? Yes, this is the Babylon Bee Podcast, I'm Kyle Man- and this is Ethan Nicole and we're jumping right in here with our second ever podcast in the history of mankind, to make a big deal. Everytime, fanfare, trumpets. This is the 143Rd Babylon Bee podcast of all time and re made. There will never be another and you are listening to it. You were born at the exact right time in history, where you would get to hear the second, the second, I have a one b, but, as you know it, the sequel is always a little bit better than the first one yeah. That's always how goes as to how it how it?
How was your week even well? I have a weird thing going on: I don't self promotion I can do, but I have a book with well. I guess it's actually in the Babylon Bee store. My other book that is competing with the Babylon Bee Book called bears want to kill you. Yes, it's not as good as the bow on be book button. That's debatable it's alright, but it is actually a lot more fun to look at yeah. Hey. You did a great job with the other graphics of bears lots of this landing page yeah. My book, I tried to get an Amazon's. I totally self published it and I got it on Kindle, but I try to put myself because Amazon does their own printing, it's horrible looking! So I printed it myself through this like fancy company, the Kickstarter and Amazon just decided, for they never really give me a reason but like they won't, they won't carry my book. So I have a garage full of books and then they won't. Let me sell it on Amazon. I was like my whole plan, so I posted crazy letter that I got from Amazon saying like sorry,
we're not gonna deal with you anymore on this issue and we probably won't email you back and the sea. There is like really like it like a cold break up letter from like a just a natural friend, totally just typed, by a robot and yeah. I am cool like the my screen I step iced over and I I just nonchalantly posted on Twitter is a kind of an updating people on the progress of my whole Amazon tobacco, because this is like another thing about that. Like I found out my book got taken down the moment after I finished an interview with Jonah Goldberg, while I was in Washington DC on a trip that I paid for it to promote the book telling every, but he was on Amazon so done like multiple interviews paid for all the travel anyway. So here I am not Amazon, it's not going to be on Amazon, and I got this like crazy viral thing. That happened where everybody thinks that Amazon is trying to censor me like my right wing followers,
even though they have the Kindle version up. So I've gotten a lot of sales based on people. Thinking they're trying to censor my bears are trying to censor me from within Amazon or something yeah. What's the conservative angle of this bears trying to kill you? Don't I've seen a lot of one? Is that right? Because the do you think it's because your connection to the Babylon began, like they'll say like I'll get DM's like, but there was spring man. You know people kind of love that seven yeah there's definitely like a conservative because ultra thing where, if any little thing happens, yeah they're already censorship. Over being censored, I think one time I went to go log on to our little Babylon, be secret facebook group- and it's like uh. This group is in iaccessible, you know, and I'm like. Oh this is, it is and legit going to see right like like, and sometimes it does happen like that. Nothing like this happening. Oh it's just it's just a glitch yeah but yeah to see like how already people are like it's funny that went viral in that that's kind of ah, that kind of thing people love like that internal letter that they see we're like we're, not gonna carry your book.
Yeah people like all you know the. I went crazy that that to you with that, I just put a screen grab of that message and, like I've sold a hundred books because of that tweet yeah, I think people feel like they're part of some secret. Like resistance, you know he ask you something like that: AMP Sam, that was my week- yeah well you're more exciting week tonight. You know when you're recording this father's day was yesterday, so I had a nice father's day weekend. Other day I had like a lot of meat yeah I had ours, we had steak for lunch and then I just passed out and took a nap for the rest of the day ideal father's day. I always could I I don't like eating out on Father's day. I I just get permission to buy like the nice expensive meat, and I girl myself, no yeah hardcore like that. Well, this is a nice segue into our topic of the week is our top of the week. We're gonna be talking about fathers so, every day, what we do every time on this part, guess what we do is we
cover the news. Three three stories from the battle on being, and we have a topic of the week and our topic this week is talking about our fathers in what the meaning of Father Hood is in a relativistic culture. Every week there are stories. These are some of them. I just missed like a six calls from North Dakota, I don't know yes, I'm gonna have a lot of business holdings. I'm recording this. I have a lot of real estate and business holdings in the Mount Rushmore. Well speaking, of running your own business, our first story this week on the Babylon Bee, essential oils for men, are now available essential oils of or Saara typically more of a ah feminine venture. Would you say anything yeah? I think it's a thing that thing it's like the magic cards of females. I think
they all sit around collecting them and talking about all the magic powers and all the special like how they raise your hp points and stuff and like then the men are just like. I don't know what is going on right now, but they're very expensive. It's definite! I like that. You know you build your magic, the gathering, deck and you're, trying to find the synergy between the different cards. You know and the women are like it's all about the combinations right for homeschoolers. Should we explain what magic the gathering cards are yeah? It's like. I don't even really know what they are. I was gonna say it's like Pokemon cards, but they wouldn't even know the home schoolers when even though Pokemon cards you know there was a there was a christian knock off of my gym. Bag called reduced lease or direction. Now, who does the repairs we're going off topic, but here's the weird thing so in redemption, you played like, like you, were like angels in on your fighting over the souls of people, but like Christian games always have this weird thing where, like you have to play the bad guy too, so your deck had like all these demons and it re
add to go, stop the other guy from saving, so whoever save the muscles first wins and then it's like, but I'm gonna play Satan and lock your place. They needed to have like to have like all these demon cards. Now you have. You have cards that are like a temptation. You know these are all temptation and other stuff. So it's like this weird thing, internecine darker than man. It's a dark here, a little bit so yeah. So this is Angela oils for men. The basic ideas were, you know we we we kind of unimagined what would be what what what kind of essential oils with men like- and this is one of the jokes that was so obvious. I can't believe we had made it till now. It's like I saw a couple of comments on our Facebook page with people said. How is this not a repost yeah from like how there's a good chance that look? Here's you know every time I I strike on a gold idea like this, like you sit around and and and the little workers in your brain like bring these little ideas up and I'm like there's no way that that more the
first ones yeah and I go on Google, it and there's nothing like if you, if you Google, essential oils for men, it goes to all the like essential oil MIKE there in Syria yeah and it's like. If you combine lavender with black pepper. You know a lot of men like that, sends a very manly oil. So no, but we imagine all the things like baking grease yeah. You know M M a fighter, sweat long, slipping the sweat of an enemy of actual that's. Where I got this idea was. I was outside and I was ah I was pushing my lawnmower were around and I know you don't know your own lawn. You think I actually not a really stopped yeah, but I used to and that smell was just like I'm like. I could stand out here all day, I'm not even a big like yard work or, like I'm, not very handy yeah, but it's like I just smell that I'm like this is a job. Well done. You know it's the scent of a job. Well done, it is tiring, the home home depot lumber I'll, that's another one or you just standing there in like again, I'm not super handy, but if I have to go pick up wood for anything or pick up some tools and you just stand there and I guess I'm a real
and every man in Home Depot walks with way more confidence than they do. If they're walking through, like Jc Penney or something yeah, it's a way different feeling yeah you need, then you just feel like an idiot when the when the worker has to tell you where the screws are ever because you just alright screw that's how I am or there's a screw gonna rot and bring. We can not work is my whole thing going to fall down in a year. I don't know yeah, I'm a total one minute. The thing about home depot is your always is you're always a having to go back. You know, that's me is yeah constantly go back. I gotta go for five six times, because I I get the wrong size. Not you know, whatever you guys, love that there's a mim of. Ah the one does not simply no one does not simply him. This one does not simply Lord rings mean yeah borimir. Anything one does not simply go to home depot. One time, that's perfect, so here's some other sense that we have for central oils for men. Cuban cigars.
I like that we're making our listeners very uncomfortable right now, exhaust from an american muscle car just wanted to say. Like unleaded gas, you know that you're sitting there just putting gas in your minivan you're like yeah, that's a real manly smell. Ah freshly poured stout beer nice. You know I was gonna. Make that an I p a. I would have punched you, but ah yeah. I know that Ethan is not not a fan of. I PS. The scent of a just fired assault. Rifle authentic Buffalo wing, extract the beast of the scent, so you have to actually press oil out of whatever you're talking about right. So yeah you know, and that was one of the struggles. I was writing this. I'm like is this just like since because I'm sure they actually have like you know a candle or something for men? That's not like bacon, like I'm sure, that's the thing.
So I was trying to be like you actually squeeze this thing into. You know you actually capture the chemical by pressing it or whatever yeah. I think I have that on, because I did the artwork and you can see in the little tax. I put that like the cigar, the cuban cigar, like they actually pressed like old cigar butts and squeeze all the oils out, and I was like how disgusting it all becomes when you, so ah man, if you're jealous of your wife's, essential oils collection and you want to catch them all just like she gets to catch all the essential oils, my wife, just ah, she had these like custom, essential oil holders that she bought from these people that, like they just drill these holes, that are the perfect size for an essential oil oil bottle, that's sitting in too and they're in repurposed would no great this, like cute little like display for your essential oils to all fit into. I think I think women like like having a solution for things, especially when it comes to life,
health and like their kids. You know that, because I I sympathize with that, because it's like this, you know my keep. My kid has a cough. I don't know what to do and it's like now yeah, it's like it's like. Do we really know what's working, not really, but it feels like we're doing something yeah so like just put some of this oil, and it feels good that it's like something that came from something so natural yeah like so really like a gazillion lemons and got this essential oil yeah. If you would like to get involved with the Babylon Bee's multi level, marketing essential oils company, be me medium, be oil, we'll do a free consultation at your house, honey, we're squeezing the essence of bees. You can use it on your enemies, all right. We do our next story uh. What do we got here? We got Elizabeth Warren. She was in the news. Actually, she wasn't. Joe Biden was in the news and at we spoofed Joe Biden, didn't we Joe Biden said that he in cure. Can
sir, I believe I don't think I actually read this story, Joe Biden yeah. He he promised that if he gets elected he will cure cancer. That's impressive! So we said Elizabeth Warren promises to cure small, which we all said another one with Joe Biden. He says he's gonna cure cancer and then oh yeah, that's right. It says which going back to our previous toss, essential oils yeah. We already have essential oils. What do you need that Joe Biden for yeah Joe Biden, Joe Biden, promises to cure a central oils as though for cancer as those essential oils? Don't already exist so ignorant of? If you just have the DA terra cancer set the cancer kid? That's messed up, yeah we're gonna get shut down, so it is. It is it's a good thing that you're listening to the second ever that won't be back by Kensei final. If the final one, it's all over the years back to Liz before,
come with more promises. Secure smallpox, so this is actually a little when I write humor like this. Ah I'm, ah it's hard for me to really think of all the angles that people could get offended by something you know so many, but this is actually a little edgy in the sense that you know smallpox was actually a day. Z did harm indigenous peoples in America, oh and ah, and so we always get a little pushback when we doing Elizabeth Warren Indian Joke, especially when it touches on something like smallpox. You know um and I think the intention is never really like. Let's make fun of smallpox or let's make fun of these people who got killed, you know what I mean yeah to me. These jokes are always just like it's just the I don't even know if it is the low hanging fruit joke, but it's just like it's. It's almost to me. It's so funny, because it's so obvious and come just a dumb obvious joke yeah, that's not brilliant well, but what I like about it is that it
lying on Elizabeth Warren's, like like totally just being ignorant of her public image of like I'm gonna cure smallpox. Like he's been like he's, pandering to native Americans like yeah, like anybody still buying her little stick. You know I care with that one, because we did one of the lives of the war in awhile back where she shows up at some campaign rally dressed in full indian gar with like yes, and we helps in all sorts of stuff, and we just slammed like every stereotype, yeah of native Americans into the headlines and there's all this outrage in that and uh which would ever but like to me. It was hilarious that she was yeah to say that she's that disconnected and yeah yeah. The idea is not trying her best to be a genuine indian and coming off with a total racist yeah. The idea is not you know these stereotypes about native Americans are actually true,
but rather she has no idea what it's like to be a real native Americans that he just pulls everything. She saw him like Peter PAN about native Americans and and she's planning on all the stereotypes. My daughter is obsessed with Peter PAN. She just watched it again the other day as that that song is crazy in that what makes red men ready, yeah. That's one of those things where that that's a movie that would not get made. I know, and I'm still I'm waiting for it to be like I'm waiting to go on their tour. I, our Amazon account, did because it's I bought a few is on the waiting to go on there and it's like the screen is black. It's like sorry. This movie's been removed. Yeah, it's unavailable, yeah! I actually be enough. They just came out with that Aladdin remake, and I was here in of people complaining about the old, the one in the context of this re release of how that old, one was so many stereotypes and so problematic, and I'm just kind of like like I don't even you know that I don't even get it it's like it's like. If I go and watch one of the Disney films it's about like a European White
yeah, you know it's like and it's like. Oh they didn't really, have you know unicorns and Pegasus? Is you know it's like obviously playing on you know the medieval times are playing on from making his fantasy one thousand and one nights. You know just planning on all of those all those things people are really into. Ah, you know, one thing that gets on the clicks is hate which that might be good for our next topic. This is, ah, is this headline was written by one of our best writers, Frank Fleming, with sings, praises everything, and he said we have a section. The show re talk about how great Frank is for like an hour to be a topic. Frankel be atop the main topic we could do like a best of the best of Frank Fleming. His smile he's got a great smile, so Frank actually pitch this article. Like I don't know six months ago, and I can I put I put in a trash heap to my great shame over six months ago. I put it in our fool I put it like in are saved for later,
maybe one day we'll run this pile, and then I uh, I was just flipping through it like trashing, a bunch of stuff, and I saw this headline and I was like: why did we not run this? You know it's funny like six months later, like we did see something in a fresh light. You know, and it's so this is actually our standards have lowered our standards. Just get much lower every day way need content gradually give us got it, and ah yes, so this here's, the headline study, hate cliques, are a major source of web traffic and also the princess bride is a trash movie. That only stupid people like so again, you know the battle of the we're, not just going to sit here and laugh at our own headlines, but we will affect franks and let me do get. We have the liberty to laugh, but someone else's headline with Frank. So there's this whole culture in the internet, where websites kind of figured out that people don't click on articles, and you know that
lobby struggles with that, because so much of our jokers in the headline, all right, and so what people figured out was, if you, just if you just barf out the most garbage opinion yep, you know everybody's gonna, share it and retweet it and going. Oh. These people are trash. We talked about this last week with the which one was it about all the the company think might have in the subscriber one, but all the different companies taking on the gay pride Logan right and they're just cutting through the normal. But the idea that they're taking a stance on something which that's a little different but like still like the idea, the you you're, creating some in a controversy or stance or something that gets people to share whether they're happy, whether they like it or not. Yes, sir, in here you'll, see like this all the time, especially with something that's like this beloved movie, our beloved yeah, the show, and it's like why the office is actually the worst tell a
asian show ever yeah did you know, and and and it's it it comes with this place where it feels really like disingenuous, like that, you don't think they actually believe this. Just they just found some guys somewhere to write some garbage. Yeah who's gonna get everybody, because everybody wants to have their opinion like something to launch that. Could you know it's it's hard. Just create ideas are nothing but to like piggy back off of something that that outraged you and then you can like really jump up on a soapbox about it. Yeah yeah. We, you got a lot of hate mail about this one really yeah. We got a lot of people, you mailing us thing and it was really actually the princess bride is a great movie yeah. I saw a lot of those amazes me. I mean: can you not see that the joke is directly right in front your face in the headline? Yeah hate clicks? Are the only way to get people to click on stuff and also I'm pretty sure we all love the princess bride?
I don't know anyone who doesn't like it. I'm sure there are people like that. Yeah, there's people very sad people, my uh, I I didn't grow up in a household that ever had heard of or watched the princess broad, and I went over to my friend's house like in junior high or high school, or something in his dad's like have you ever seen the princess bride? You know we're gonna watch this right now, and it was just this. It was just this ah ah revelatory moment. For me, you know like wow. This is amazing yeah. I think I I why I watch with my kids. We it wasn't a big movie in our family, so I did kind of retroactively like it after going to grow up and and loved just fairy tale, trope stuff in and just that, it's a hilarious movie and well done, but them I know my daughter.
It was not crazy about it. She was a little young and there's people dying and stuff, but I think I can remember exactly what it was that upset her. So much I I guess I haven't introduced my kids, yet okay, they've kind of they've kind of seen it you know walking by as I watch it now and then, but I've never like sat down and said now yeah. I think it's gonna be one of those things like having the talk with your kids at the talk fairly. Well, no, but it's a similar moment in childhood. Like son, oh I see you're a man. You know. I think you have to have a talk before you turn the tv on um. I actually just a book on that. I actually had to introduce the princess bride to your children. I actually just just finished reading the book for the first time. I was curious. I heard it wasn't as good as the movie. Now it's great it's fantastic, I got I gotta read every line. Is it's one of those things where he just managed to make every line? Amazing you know huh and uh, but you know it's funny about it. Is he actually wrote them
be too? So it's one of those things are really yes. The movie's Justus Good is the book but they're good in different ways. So I definitely recommend you know and we keep we always go back to Charlie and the chocolate factory yeah. But ah. But the movie says it's written by Roald Dahl, but I believe it was changed so much he like disowned it because I was just watching. I was watching. My daughter is obsessed with it
she's watching the movie over and over again just hilarious cause, she's four and ah, when I showed her a movie she's like how they make a movie so fast freak that I found anything she's had the book she's wrapped around the book like holding it like she was like hugging it and watching the movie. That's great is the first book that I read to her, like all the things she's so excited, but yeah. That's interesting! Tidbit on that it says right there. It opened a MRS World Doll, like soul, screenplay, writer yeah. I feel like. Ah, when the writer of the book gets their hands on the movie, it's usually not great. Like yeah, I feel like they're, two different skill sets. You know a lot of times, you'll see that the author was super involved and it's like they couldn't kill their babies to make the thing work. You know yeah unless the author, like has some experience. Writing screenplays and in can think in that way, like, I think, there's certain people that could do that, but yeah there's some clarity levels like Stephen King yeah, I was about to mention Stephen king in the shining where his, where he didn't like the original and then he went actually got you manage to write one for ABC. I don't know yeah you
see that one was like. Twenty years ago they came now. There was the shining like mini series that came out on ABC and was like Stephen King's actual vision, and here it was terrible and that's what I love about maximum overdrive. I've ever seen that I have never seen them that the whole idea that, like he did an ad where he was like his the preview, is like Stephen kings. Standing there talking to you like a dub, F, wrestler, W E w C w, whatever EAST now Ethan is pointing his gun. Things were winning pointing his finger at you like, like he's gonna, take you down he's like when you need a job done right. You gotta! Do it yourself and talk about like Stephen King, you can look it up on Youtube and he's like it's like scream. He wrote the screenplay he directed it. He did also there's no book like he made this movie and and actually no Yeardley Smith, who out she's a character's you were is in the movie the girls who the woman who plays LISA Simpson's voice. She was an actress in that and she was telling me about bunkers. The set was, and just
so disorganized and apparently Stephen King says he was like on drugs. The whole time you made that movie. It's is this in the same movie. That makes no sense at all the cars and stuff and mechanical things come alive, an attack. Everybody there's really, no explanation, that's amazing! I know you have the that series, the lawnmower man did you ever see those I saw the movie there's one movie right. Are they make more, but I think there was like a whole series of your rights going land before time and they got increasingly baddie and it's just like what is this even I saw for the first one had that monkey yeah like a diaper and like a robotic helmet, it's completely different from the short story and the short story is horrible, and just very weird, and ah in and somehow the movies even weirder huh. I don't remember we're talking about oh yeah, we're talking about we're talking about how terrible the princess bride is right. You know yeah, we love the princess bride and definitely don't share this podcast with your friends and tell them you got to hear how horrible these guys opinions are on the princess bride. We don't want you to do that
right and now the Babylon Bee's topic of the week waiting for a main topic. I don't know you know actually for this topic. I need to emotionally prepare myself. Okay, because we're gonna talk about fathers it's father's day week. So maybe we could get some violins in the background or something here too, but where were you that sound? We need that father? Is your father abandoned you as a child? I love my file, that's why just you know we need. We need a sound guy that sits there on the on the mixer board and and plays like the funny sound effects like the fart effects and yeah we need. I can have them retroactively without his name is not the same thing needs. We need somebody calling or move put a job call out there. So fathers, the eight we are recording this park is the day after Father's day, as previously mentioned. So the topic of Father's is near and dear to our hearts Ethan. To give us a little little bit what fathers mean to you, maybe a little bit about your father. I have a crazy
story in that room, so I don't want to go off like you can try to interrupt me. If I go to Farkas, I'm now interrupting you. My dad is like the biggest character on earth. Like I didn't realize when I was a kid. What a bizarre said chelation I was in, but my family, my parents divorced when I was eight- and I think I mentioned a bit about this and previous podcast, but my dad um was homeless for a period of time and he was he had been in an inspiring opera singer in New York before I was born, and so when I was a kid, he was a homeless, pentecostal opera singer, and so he would like go bonkers in his pentecostal church in an opera voice like I'm FED voice trained to like seeing
toe auditoriums without mikes, and I actually was there one day when the pastor took him aside and said Tom. If you can tone it down, it might need you to like find another church and he was heartbroken I've I've heard of uh. I heard a story from a pastor of mine once where he was going to Bible College and they pulled a girl aside, because she was moving too much like during the the worship that, like your you know, dancing at that school. I love that the Pentecost like it if the M and scary at Pentecost listeners are you mad, but is the idea that if the Spirit's leading the person to do this, can you stop them? Okay? Is that alright, and that was the spiritual yeah but see Baptist, don't believe in the Holy Spirit. So it's our okay. So anyway, you were saying up, although yeah so I'll. I we actually would sleep in his band with him on weekends and then, and eventually he just left and my dad the health problems in his life, where he just kind of once it got overwhelming enough. He just up and leave yeah. I think we all have that tendency yeah, but he really was
to to an extreme like my mom was his fourth wife, I believe, and so he had a crazy passed with long story after we found a long lost sister recently, but I'm so I I didn't have a dad through a good chunk of my childhood and I also had a mom who was very dad. I don't know if Anti dad is right, but. She swore that she wasn't going to remarry because she didn't want us to go through that for some reason, and so she just sighted she do it. Herself she's had this bitterness about what had gone on to my dad. That was kind of a thing that she always kind of carried through life. Was that ah or through my childhood, that she doesn't need no man and she doesn't need she'll kind of fill that void of a dad she's a strong, beautiful black woman. He doesn't need, I don't mean no ma'am yeah at sushi and talk like that, so yeah. I think that that was very formative. For me, though, like being
raised finding out that I'm going to turn into one of these, and I'm not talking bad about my mom she's, a great amazing woman who worked her behind off, she worked like thirty four jobs at a time um. It's just. I think it was partly like the Spirit of the times the rising feminism, but also just my mom she's, very independent, hard worker, and she you know she never really actually did she did remarry um, but it was. They didn't really uh, they weren't very cooperative but anyway. So how did you become so manly yummy? So man, without this? Ah without, like that's a joke right, this. I did seek it out when I got older. I have there out men in my life who became um part of my life, who you ah, but I think I did seek it out. I I really had to decide at some point like I want to be a good dad and a half to just
decide what the that is and what my dad was is really wasn't the dad and we've actually um. You know people that know axe cop, I'm glad I have my little brother is twenty four years younger than me. His dad is my dad. Like twenty four years difference and my dad's got an amazing wife now who has had a huge effect on his life she's, been able to tame the beast inside so he's very old. Now he, ah, he has a tough time processing his mind is kind of starting to go, but but yeah there's been a lot of him. Him re marrying and having another batch of kids actually brought us back together in a lot of ways. I think I think we never would have. Ah, I think our connection would have kind of fizzled out
over uh through my life as I got older, but because of them having the second batch of kids kind of brought us back together. So that's like well yeah and that's, like the Nutshell version of my background. The reader's digest listeners digest and it's interesting that you kind of can draw a place where you realized. How important a father is to your kids yeah. I realize it out of like a absence yeah rather than by having a really good influence, hey and just yeah. I think that's one thing for me: you realize when you dive in, and it was because of wise men that had been in my life, who had just said, like you're made to be a father, it's in you, God made you to do it and and when I just dove in and did it I realize like yeah like there's a thing in me. That's part of my make up that you know when ice. When I seek out God and MIKE said, I need help.
I was made for this job. It's not an easy job. It's like you know: yeah, that's gotta cool, how? God is really gracious to us. Sometimes, when we're like growing up in a bad way nation or you don't have a good influence because conventional wisdom is like you know, if you don't have, if you don't have, ah a good male influence, you're just gonna end up garbage. You know you're gonna end up in a really bad situation. Yeah and that's one reason at one, one area where I feel really lucky 'cause. It was actually through young life that some really good male role models kind of found, their way into my life yeah, so yeah, that was, you know it was actually more jock. Like guys I was like a grunge guy. When I was in high school, I got long hair and I hated everybody and had like Barbie Doll heads severed, barber well, heads around my neck and stuff. You were like Sid from Toy story, one yeah trying to be the psycho kid just discovered, blowing up toys in the back and they hated jocks and rednecks as like in northwest.
Do you know where recent pearl jam yep? Oh yeah think Pearl JAM fan and you're like a walking stereotype totally like 'cause you're, Pacific NW, right, Pacific NW, Pearl jam listener, and I thought I was so original and you yeah you're gonna rebel. By being exactly like everybody else around you, my young life, there was a total jock like and he he fit every like stereotype of the jock type guy and but he also broke it because he was like the most loving person I ever met and- and the answer is like a the big- that's a big moment for me to find somebody like that. That's great! So Maya, are you done yeah you go. Are you? Are you quite finished my I could go on for way way too long will split scattered some more of my life story through other podcasts and listening to the Babylon Bee Therapy session. This is going to be big one.
I have an awesome dad and now I feel terrible kasigluk. He ether doing I'm have an awesome that Ethan's over here weeping and I'm gonna tell you how great my dad is yeah. I have an awesome, dad and obviously huge influence on me. He was a I you, you actually put the space shuttle in orbit really yeah. I've heard of that. I think I I posted on Facebook yesterday and it's like a joke because I'm like my dad, is awesome. He put the space shuttle into orbit. You know, because you have to praise your dad on Father's day on Facebook, or it doesn't count, even though none of our dads are like on Facebook actually reading this stuff but yeah. I posted, like my dad, put
space shuttle in orbit, and you know he scares bears away and yeah, which is true. You know he he's got this video, where this bears like charging at him through the through this lake, then like through a lake yeah he's like that he's a next to this pond and if I remember right he's next to this pond in the forest, and he was like on those so little backpack or something and he's like he's like video taping, this mother mom is Mama, bear she like jumps in the water and starts charging out of will, and so the very yeah he's like go away. There go hold it there. You know, and it just kind of years off right before it gets to a you know. What I think is amazing that should go on Youtube. You know, that's not what my reaction would be to a E. I think that's what you're supposed to do the right like you're supposed to do, yell at it you're the bear experts there's a lot of propaganda. It's all in my book, segway into our our advertisement, for this section brought to you. Wanna kill you not available on Amazon right, but it's available the Babylon Bee,
your in my store yeah. So my dad was my dad did the special program until that got canned. We have that serious. What the special yeah yeah. No I'm sorry that you're joking this use. The idea are you need to every time that is yeah, my dad it as an astronaut he's in it. Actually so growing up my my he will just like a dirty word growing up. You know you could bring your dad or whatever into you, bring your parents into school to do like the career today or whatever nope, not mine, but yeah. Well, those of us who had good fathers, and so he would come in and do like a presentation on the space shuttle how they put it in orbit and you live in. Can I read jesting my perception here because I thought that was a Kyle joke yeah. I know, and you really did okay, he did he actually did and but but all the call my classmates would be like your dad's, the astronaut right and eventually you just start saying. Yes, yes, my dad is in a strip,
that's crazy, but you know it's my dad took us camping. You know we dance around here, 'cause you're from here. Aren't you so Boeing Boeing has has facilities out here Orange County, interesting, yeah, okay, so so he does. He does like wind and load analysis, but he was a good father, even though this accomplished they did something. This amazing and he's still he's a good made time he's a good is going to be as serious. Let's play the song yeah, so he you know it's funny, Sandisk copyrighted growing up the thing I remember most was like he would read us Bible stories and ah- and it was like he had like three Bible stories: okay, that were his favorites and he was go back and read those Aisha and the profits, but um. No, not the beers. There's. If you would like to know more about, bears, check out. Ethan's book bears want to kill you that's right, but not on Amazon, my uh,
he liked he liked Shadrack Meshach and a Bendigo, ok in the fire right. He liked some nineteen, which I believe is the Starz declare the the Heavens declare the glory of God. He let the story it's not stored but like it was it's like because he was in his in astronomy, okay and and and rockets and stuff. So he was always big on like a apologetics nice guys and he's it sounds like he's very science, the union still believes in this backwards. Religion set off yes, this crazy backwards, religion, yeah, you got your big brain and he would tell stories about talking to other people at his job. You know that because I'm sure he's kind of like a like an out wire there yeah, you know in the in the stem fields but yeah. So there was like there was a three or four stories that he loved that he would always go back to, and so every time now, if I go and I read the story of Shadrack Meshach and of INDIGO, I remember exactly like the inflect
things that he would read it in and you know so. I think it's a huge thing. You know yeah raising our kids, to love the Bible and to kind of make faith their own. You know that's appears. Obviously. Obviously, fathers are really important for them. Yeah. My dad would, in his van where we would sleep with him would make stories up on the spot, because we didn't have any books and they just be full of farts and diarrhea and stuff, and I thought it was amazing that, like really the idea that you make a story up on the spot was the it was the idea that you could make up a whole, a story that had us rolling laughing in that story had not existed a moment ago and he was just making up. It was complete garbage, but it's hilarious to me,
yeah. That was a big memory from my my dad being a stim guy like science will, he was not until like creative, like I'm gonna make up this story right now, yeah, you know you know it's funny is one time I asked my dad like hey, you know, I don't even know what the question was like you know something about throwing a baseball and like within fifteen minutes, he's got this giant chart drawn out on a yellow legal pad, showing like a diagram of throwing baseballs and wind resistance and momentum and inertia, and I'm like four years old. My I just want to play catch. Well, you know I don't yeah my yeah, that's the another funny contrast with our dad that my dad is totally not at all about apologetics, very much a spiritual experience. Only thing like God reaches you through kind of voice in your head,
yeah anywhere, again kind of all the topic of Like Father Hood, but that's like an inter interesting introduction. You rather have a million more things. You can say about your dad too yeah. Will it keep going we'll do we'll do another episodes just calling to Kyle's? Had we have an as a gas? Well, I I guess the real point that we wanted to make. If there is a point or they have, the topic we want to discuss was father's being kind of an anchor for people in this role. The mystic culture, where the US so much of the culture is telling US fathers don't matter, manhood doesn't matter million masculinity is always toxic. You know not that not that masculinity can't be toxic, sometimes, but just the victim. The mere mention of something semi traditionally in man, Lee is seen as toxic in so many play yeah and to me, like that's the thing that the whole debate about the definition of marriage to me always came down to that. Like are we
saying by the idea that men and women are completely interchangeable, that there's nothing unique that either actually has to offer and if they don't, then, then the father really is like every place, a ble unneeded thing and we have the story. We should probably mention in this story this week that we put up um another great Frank article did on Father's day. Oh, yes, nation celebrates existence of completely unnecessary parent and the picture of the of the of the Father there. Given the gifts yeah, we got a lot of angry emails about half a lot of people and get that. I actually think that's gonna, be our hate mail. This week I have a probably is yeah in a few minutes so yeah we did. We ready made ready for that, but yeah and uh, and obviously that's that's being sarcastic in using satire to make that point, but we're making big deal about these father's when they're not even needed. You know they're just disposing celebrating a thing that actually need who needs them. Anyway, you can probably artificially
babies now with just a woman, and you know you don't need a guy so yeah. What's the point in it's kind of like you know, when you look at like relativism and and where do we come from, you know, and that's kind of the whole. That's kind of the whole deal is that if we're just apes highly evolved apes on this planet, you know it's like well. Who cares if you have a father or not doesn't matter you know, but if there's something I read this great, can I bring up there talking? Please read this great quote from J R talking this week that in a in a letter that he wrote to his son when he was in the war- and he said something like there is something about there's something eternal about the relationship between a father and a son, and I'm not that was the that was super deep, that there's something eternal and true about that. It's not something! That's just this evolved a relationship and it's to Seattle and discarded, yeah, there's so much to say on this topic, but even just the experience of
like because I was tweeting the other day thank on Father's day that yeah, I I'm I'm sad for guys who, just by choice, choose not to be fathers or anybody chooses not be apparent like I know, there's some people just aren't up for it or whatever, but like there's something about getting to point in life and then suddenly you're re experiencing life through your child you're watching them go through everything you went through again and now you have to impart wisdom on that. It's sort of like the idea that, like if you read a book once like you, learn it, but then you read it again, and then you were like one third time and like take notes or whatever, like it's kind of like having kids and then I imagine, having getting married, having kids and having grandkids is kind of like that, like that's, why you get more wisdom, you're going through a again but through a different pair of eyes, yeah and being able to share like interests or like we're talking about the princess bride.
You know, yeah, I mean it was more frightening than to see their eyes light up. Like I said I just read, Charlie the chocolate Factory, my daughter, and it makes me so excited to see how excited she is by your first book. Yeah. You know, there's something like we're, God creates us and then we go and create other life are like yes, creative people. You know we we we write, articles and and and make images and stuff and like so there's something that there were where we're reflecting the image of God and that we create you know, and it's a similar thing when you see your kids like draw something you know, no matter is a stick figure when they're, really young or they're they're older, and they start like state, learn together their own little comic books. You know, and it's like this is amazing. This is what I did when I was a kid. You know it's just weird, to create some that then goes off and becomes its own thing and like creates things yeah, that's that's amazing how much meaning and how much effect on this world and how it's affecting
all comes out of the one decision have one child like it's? It's you can't quantify it. It's amazing. I try to think about it. The other way like my parents did they like see, like you know, articles that I write or you know if they listen to this podcast and, like my son, is crazy. You know he's talking. I have an anecdote. Is me and you to do a want to do an interview. Are you in LA and we were coming back in your parents called, and you had him on Speaker elements right, one of the most adorable things I've ever experienced, like your dad he's like just keeping tabs and everything you do and he was like. He knows, like every article he's checking in on you and he's so proud of you. I forgot about that yeah. Actually, my dad. If we could go back to the topic of Kyle's down my my dad ah reads the Babylon Bee, but he only reads it on on Friday morning.
Okay, so reads everything Friday morning, he goes on Friday morning, clicks on the view all stories link and then goes through and reads all the stories that we posted in the previous week. Wow he like has he like house, you know twenty minutes set aside for it or whatever just goes power reads like a national style. I think he reads all the headlines and then clicks on the ones that grabs attention and read the whole story, and then he emails me, like top five stories of the week, he's judging it. I get his commentary on it. That's awesome yeah. That was actually the phone call reminded me. Something like a Seinfeld were signed filled with like take a call from his parents in Florida. You know, and it's kind of one of those things, but you know but yeah. I know the yeah that we were coming back from doing an interview and my dad calls and he's asking about every article we did and all the irons we got in the fire, the Babylon Bee. He was excited for the radio interview that we were doing because it was on the christian station that he live
since, to you know, he's asking what time is time does and error, but it's like in the 1940s, like he gathers everyone around the big floor, radio in the den we're going to listen to Kyle on the radio. Kids. Actually, did you see that thing you do remember when the when the kid is like, I think, they're on the big national. Bandstand show, or whatever it is they're like on the big show for the first time, their own national bans on national television and the dad is always has been all grouchy, but he super work cited there on the tv and he gathers everyone around totally reminds me of, like which I know I don't assume everybody on the listening knows about that. You can purchase axe cop yeah. No, it is a crazy thing happened in my life that made a comic my five year old brother and my my dad experienced his son, who was twenty nine and his son, who was five create this thing together that went like Cray
Easy Viral and we were doing conventions and interviews and were on tv, and he was I mean over the moon, proud like he was every single time. I opposed to Comic he's calling me he's always axe cop t shirt on he had like every axe, cop t shirt made, which there's a bunch of made that nobody bought and he owned them all and yeah. I told you remind me of that, like he just such a proud dad, that's awesome. So when we want some eight male after all, that sweetness, we can't you know this is wear a satire outlet and ah so we can't let you going away feeling good. You have to feel cynical and sarcastic and upset. So it's right, some hate mail. This week we got. This was about the ah. Ah article that Frank, wrote. Ah nation celebrates existence of completely unnecessary parent, and ah he says this. Your article regard by the way this is in
this is an all out. All caps, multiple exclamation points, all caps, your article regarding dad's, being the unnecessary parent, is appalling. I will not read any Meyer of your crap. I really believe that crap can we say crap no and by the way, my I think Meyer was supposed to be more but yeah. He yeah yes seemed like this was typed in a rage, because it's all caps regarding doesn't have an end. It's a regard e space g, unnecessary. It's spelled on Neck Khoury, a neck ary um, but we're gonna pick we're gonna pick on this guy for his spelling, he's passionate about that thing is like. I completely agree with him or just didn't, get the job just didn't get that it was.
Did you know that it's funny they're? Actually like every angry comment, I saw me being happy like as a good people. Really a passion about fathers do have a place and they're important in like we completely agree with that. There's a certain type of angle b, take in a satirical article, were you just say the opposite. Yeah of of what's true and those are especially prone to people misunderstanding the because they don't get what we you know it's like. Why would I share this article? It's setting the opposite of. What's true, you know so so, there's like there's a weird way actually knew when my new and Frank sent his article in that there was gonna be a lot. I thought about messing with headlines like now, whatever it'll be all right, well, that weird iron man is it does it feels like there are people that really think this too lick, maybe you and I I personally think- that's probably not that many people. I think that there's there is this movement of like a people want to make the family obsolete and they think that yeah there's this weird
thing where women are above or something I don't know. I then I think it's a guys crazy of an idea as any state. Any crazy call you could be a part of, but these crazy people who think women are humans yeah. I think they're like right either of the engine and we try to work around so you're saying trouble. It's like that. Jordan Peterson, an interview. You know you think what you're saying is that you hate women all right. Well, that's is that our show our second ever show. Thank you for listening to the second ever in the Hist, the world of the world Universe, since the dawn of creation six thousand years ago on podcast podcast, we're actually gonna go on for another fifteen minutes. For our more like one thousand five hundred and thirty minutes, yeah we're going to bonus. We get some bonus content coming for a subscribers, so
cutting that we're signing off now for the public, but for those ever find individuals who have subscribed to that one, but you're going to get a little bonus content. Here we do a couple of stories and a QA section. So if you want to check that out, go to babylonbee dot com plans and you can figure out how you can become a paid subscriber and I can get access to the bonus content until next week. I'm kind of man- and I the Nicole thanks for listening and by bears- want to kill you yeah by that, but not on Amazon.
Transcript generated on 2019-09-14.