In a world of fake news, we bring you up to the minute factual inaccuracy. The heavy dose of moral truth with your hosts, Kyle Man and either You call this. Is the Babylon Bee Fake news. You can trust I'm feeling nostalgic. I was sitting at my desk and my construction job in twenties, steam- and I got this- and I saw Facebook Post was Adam, saying we're launching of the Christians Terrorists I submit your ideas, ear and Isaac. I did it was like the cracking the knuckles. Pulling the shades down button in the

phones just popped out, even though our came from like area. I never wanted to write that was all inside. You was ever in a circle article before that no Hazan, I'm a cartoon, her he's a weird this I feel so we re now. Europe. Cartoon second ago now all of a sudden now, you're real and the now a weird new played the walls to colors pictures are all gone. She's gone, very said: the lighting differently. Why Our are chairs a blue. What happened and people see the chairs they look like do belong in a lawyers office, waiting, rumours or perhaps candlish dogs here believe that machine. Office. Building our building, an unlucky, known location. We have moved her offices. Finally, at long last

full viewer and listener. Thanks dollar subscribers, yeah, goodness gracious people. Spend the money. Then people look at adds incessantly and people that mash that subscribe burden comment in common and stuff, no forget the common. Don't forget to call you have this early in the media we get it make. I like it first yeah. I guess so. The arab league, see we're show Gimme. When these cameras like this look around and see what is all around us as a work, how this technology work but we are thinking about doing a walk through with with a phone as related rights, go on our screening and examine all miss you yelling at their that's our friend, there's man, I'm you're on the bow deeper that whole area is going end up being the exclusive subscriber lounge. Yes, point here: once we get our couch in, are cool stuff, Ceta, semi. There then

but we were previously in, like maybe a three hundred and fifty square foot points. There wasn't a worthy something I dare we just interviewed Kevin Sore. I don't think it's gonna, be it, but we basically, butter the door to get him inside, and we said you know what it is squeezed ask me: we beheld buttered ups motion pathogenic. We decided it was time so here we are, but we have actually been working on this for a while and then finally happened. We are you. These are stuck there. We were stuck and you never committed thing it's what happens down. The lesson that we should learn from the good job. Even so, Zander the guy, the animated that opening yet asked and I was less oarsmen subscriber portion yeah. I was tying the store higher subscriber pirate. You darn use answer. He asked permission, understood when I wanna seemed to them for full shows mean as like men,

till stories all the time, and you do you wanna Kyle's that, because mine was easy to tell because it Guy sitting at a desk, stories would be difficult to or an inappropriate to animate. Sometimes he can be. He can be stylistic. My couldn't turn Tina, something they can arts two young, a lot of blurring currency cartoon when one of my stories one story time, did write the song for even story time with you did little animation. You did this nice, so I can't wait to get even to tell some stories to land use that intro again running out tell a good story I will this is the Babylon Bee Show and what we do is. Cover the news and talk about things, it's a very unique thing to do for up against them. Goes to laugh at the news, though. That's true, if you're trying to get news, you shouldn't get us that's true. This is us watching

this is like mystery Science theatre, except we're watching the news gonna that stupid and we're not as far as we are not merely a professional and they have also writers and we just making upon spot so we should make excuses for so it's like history, news theater, but not three thousand, like that's more like one one thousand, I'm gonna just put us down there so let's go on, but now this week's edition of stuff that's good year. What you step it's good this week, I'll anything good will on drinking right here, nice cup of GIN, Starbucks Coffee, but I'm not gonna talk about Starbucks The comment about the coffee I use at home. Aren't you tired of drinking godless, coffee, coffee that displeases our Lord, in Sabre Jesus Christ, rudeness, tastes like Satan, and I dont like them. You know like Satan

They deem demonic possess demon, possessed swampy beans boiled down to his essence. It's not good that my my sister full disclosure, my sister works for hope, closing down and she works for hope. Coffee, which is a coffee distributor that they go a name. They buy beans, directly from farmers today. A direct relationship with these farmers. They buy beans and a name. You know bring him to us it's kind of like fair trade coffee, but it's more. I guess they make more money than make even more money than then in fair trade and actually pay a lot more to farmers These farmers make Goliath thing there yourselves Garvian makes a ten year jumps in these browser money, but I think the monkey poop coffee the other one is like that reflect the monkey Eads at the rear paints arousing panther. One is a new like a rare panda issues, a bunch now, there's all kinds of people.

It's like. A hundred bucks for a pound makes she gets into that big money. I'll, let them know Kay monkey book. I always want to try it. Apparently there. Process. Could they swallowed? It comes out and still hold these group grinding grind of some people, guardian and its way better. It's worth a hundred dollars continue goodness gracious so anyway. Sorry, it's quite good coffee, It helps our farmers, then. They build relationships with local areas and minister, through the churches, their help build due to scare. It tastes good. They build shell, they give but bring clean water to the people, s so to call little ministries, good yeah, my sister's about involved with for years and now style extra handing out by Glock stand of her yes, so anyway, I quite like the coffee,

go up to try it. I got like yours, mine are going to citizen bags and it will have to disclose that we receive some banks, this clear we haven't so We have, as you drank it before yeah. Ok, but I'm saying we haven't receive. We have bags here, so this is not paid for this is not paid in anyway. This is now as good as free advertising. For ever that worth does telling stuff I like stuff, we like Wade's called it's got a copy, Mukamba go Mine is a thing called the monster engine. Its is this website, but, really just an artist named Dave De Vries or to rise, my user name, Originally he's done anything for a while, but a funding. They ve haven't seen it good look at heat eggs, children's are they draw monster and then the professional artist, and he renders it out, like ethically, makes us awesome piece of art out of it. So

this whole collection. You see the kids, aren't you see his updated version of it and I just really fun. Look at sooner see it China does it you, The drawings improved them out like a monkey monkeys, knots, coffee, Nostrand interrupt. You like interrupt this trend, make more interesting somewhere, stuff, that's good was an interesting and therefore it is I sit up that drawn guy sounds interesting, but to be cooler if they cheat it up and put it on the action. That's always better. Or more interesting anyway. Interesting doesn't always mean good cool girl that sounds good. Is this has been stuff? That's good! This news is weird uses Grozny. As for me wearing glasses, high Williams Keith, he we'd like a and nickel

Well, we're gonna talk about Weird news, which is news that actually happened, but it's weird we wanted to mention that we launched a site airily. We monotonous Brown, but our courts. Our cohorts Adam for Dandan Dylan, launch a site called higher ups, not to be not the b, which is like the Babylon Bee, but not, whereas a pronounce it in Germany, Nazi B, we should say that way: Do we do not leave me you were gonna branding problem in Germany. We are not to be, is like so they could tell this fund new site where its real news that can't believe it it's not really the be. It said that seems so because it should be- I give you one more stuck on theirs kind,

social network element where you can now Skinner attitude in the sign and then stuff can get voted up. You can follow up dickie, their bloggers, writers that you like on the site. So it's see now they just launch date. It's gonna, definitely get built out of morbidity, has already pretty fully featured in front, not the ILO Africa Adam for is awesome. Commentary on such things as reading his story. Video or other end for conversion to push a giant interested truck, better than say anger. It is now there's elements of things about the Babylon Bee that we always lament that they really isn't good for, like, for instance, interaction. We don't have a big community. There cuz. I think you can buy a lot of trolls, so we don't have a lot of big, you you can comment of yours prescriber, but blog where's personalities you yarly, vanilla, Hugo, the about page. Now it is fairly recent. You don't really know whose, behind the so not to be and a cool, it's a little more gets it breathing. The problem is not that began to wish was, but

work, so we do it over there. It's gonna best of both worlds. Mommy's is very narrow thing not to be as everything the ban on be isn't. So we so bicycles, not the bees cells bicycle. Neither big do anything this. The b. We don't have a foresail sex. Right they do. We don't do human trafficking at the beat up, potentially that we have set now the bees basic. Can it be that member that website that we have highlighted the guy's mom and then he went to prison for like our sun drier life. It's gonna turn into the silken, so Dan at some point, be silk road Anna silk Road guy, listen and then we'll have Dan's moments if you really miss by UN drugs and so grown, naturally, that some boy said

Listen to you, this arena, aerial, red weirdness s listening to this driving is desolate days line is tesselated. Had these appalling automatic crash here's some weird news, not the, dot com. By the way this It is from now on be a lady throw chopped by another lady in a catholic church service to have needed those had. I was there may headline, and I have so many questions that that imported either if you are a video you just two unassuming shirts again chaperone of school dances like a nice, so older white, ladys standing, and then this like tall I don't know if it doesn't matter what she's tall blackmailing lots of them just start fruit chopper like three times and walks away. Let's go to the video to have fewer play, video

more for them, but it is confusingly. Why is she to chopping Zelman Throat to neighbour figure it out? as I can see that that was the big question neither shed mosquito, which is helping her, or maybe she had away for lodging this office is that a catholic Church Slim she's, like you, couldn't tell him of areas, but it grace and they teach that and Catholics who had the slightest. Should, however, be shouldn't waiver launched in the throat. My wife will smack me. If there's a fly somewhere, you not care, though anywhere you we'll kill the flawed she's taken too The very bottom he's taken a spray bottle: that's gonna go meaner with when it acts or something else and I'll be sick. There's a guy on our own time. I put a blue food colouring and water in a whirlwind next bottle and I told the kids to go outside and pretend their fighting and spray other nice knives with it in front of her mom. It's great. She freaked out

Did you use what are you doing exactly what I want to set out yourself, I was maybe they are trying to make it look like a riot because at the church service so make sure it's all legal. Just You have already just throw choppy other ones and now and then governor will a great pass this It's in the order of service psych announcements, opening him There's a part, the sign across Father son, who spirit from each up last week. We're looking sheep dissolved for half a million dollars and also not to be. This is great, The animal named double diamond comes from a very respectable lineage. Its others report will be doubled. Wrestler, sir He was bred. Visa, artificial insemination, using Champ champion ram. Valued at more than eighty six thousand dollars and a in a U Valley

More than forty six thousand dollars case, a math is eighty. Six thousand was forty. Six thousand may not go math. Our hundred thirty down But how did I get to half a million what's happened it's not like yeah, but ok, some because I assume you by a half a million sheep cause. You like this thing is. I have some lambs that are going to drop me like a cup, a million dollars right whales like a really nice pet, a man. Can it be nice sweater? I get this thing so yeah like us. Collectors card is my very respectable lineage and the sheep world like this. The human equivalent dealing piano reams of she rock. I get the Ross Childish available, cheating and, like the that decide Jesus.

The ninety nine yet designed for the ones that seven billion to sheep he's like getting out of these nine are worthless and he's got a word like five bucks, I'm very little time and double diamond railroad idea. What this double German, you guys understand, Three year old gets tangled in kite flying one hundred feet into the air. It s. Pretty. Stopping video there at this big kite thing in pattern: maybe Japan, maybe China manager, an initiative paid more attention. Somewhere in Orient and say that the Taiwan so where the child is being Taiwan like the tale, the giant kindest catches? The challenge is flying their like. It looks like some madame until the whole, you seem until the reelected throwing children in the air and stuff, and then they just land, fine, That's a guinea in those movies, without learning in the catapult or something and yeah. But it's funny here. That's thumbing its would kill a child

and so this child he watches flying up their say. It's like you like a little p announcing, Secondly, this land, like six collect crowd surfing, had comes areas gonna catch it Ngos arrive with life, but there's a lot of people filling with their phones, not not going to help catch. It spread, messed up heroes, heroes but I think that what disturbs me is that the child didn't get a little more hurt, because now that I've learned learn lesson is that a fund, foreign Rhine, they're gonna go to another Kite festival, their whole life thing in a rapid yourselves up a kite tales me like I right, I'm not wrapped up Kay, but go ahead and sent him off. So I think that, if you're gonna be careless licked. Three old was indeed to pay some kind of price. So maybe they just need to go up in like break his leg, hurling this year punishment. Just a little remember

Two airplane pilots report, seeing a guy in a jet pack flying next to them above Ellie X to everyone's wrote, there's a the conversations that they had so far, nineteen o nine. You tell American ideally assembly has passed a guy in a jet pack. Ninety nine. Ninety seven! Ok, thank you where they up to your left or right site. That's the first question on the left side, when we entered yards or so about our attitude. We do so in the sky was pilot I'll, get us a different one, We just saw the guy passing by us in the jet pack work is park out there were The tower learning coming just blew flight reported hazard, Gabbler, twenty three use cash and a personage impact report. Freedom yards very violent about three thousand feet terms. Finally, when it means TAT Blue twenty three weeks and we are definitely looking another pilot. Only now I. What is that

yet fully available locally. Ecstasy early explorers in a jet pack anywhere else, but Ellie it? The pilots. I'll, have your conversations. I gotta be careful flying Canada landing at those airports cause there's keats, you get it careful, and only ask, as you know, the guys in the jet Pax Americana acts and is probably naked people in Paris. It's hot air balloon is full of who knows women and no clear up billionaire guys being cocaine, just so. As a rock tears, tiny star could be Elon Musk, as all might be the same person I or because you didn't learn a lesson. It was the kick it can you gotta get back or his on another case where just committed riders came down the kite. So far away to see It's all coming to get bears, make repeated visits to California Convenience store. Did we read this one?

nowhere when last we were then just went in to sort out and we have now we have bears who keep going into one. So they aren't. They read the new story. This is what happens when you don't respond to enforce This is a patronising one. Like Slovenia, the bare walks in, and it also stops and annoyance. Holy Marshmallow again prepared we can see? That is like What am I walked into you. War crimes and Pringles beef, Jerky Rock STAR just a command mean a bear. All you had to eat is like bark, Can you walk into that diversity bar I mean that I probably go two legs chips and then he nor for like a meal I gotta get salmon, which that's a lot of work and I just stacked on shelves Look, they look at the bears eyes, maybe sang it, take a freeze frame, those crippled answer him there,

Dig presuming to zoom in on space here to show some ocean is, is that Romania is how they employ Paul. Hey High said a little bears repeating. It is the store in recent weeks, a video, Saturday shows a bare lunching Adam. Is he attempted to block path in the store? kind of scarier, I'm not gonna lie. He said it's not. The description? No, not at all fighting off. It was not in the job description. That's our men undeclared work is that it can be made more environmental. These smoking, a cigarette, the back, then the job description that. Yes, on enough bears no, that shopping, cart, sort sanitarium, that's whether given make trips, so if we keep escalating it three: we had the one store, but the chips not agronomic administers. What is next week story. Be Missouri there own and store they can have the big card at Pasco and just getting tons of stuff

He asked her. Why are they make immortal trips? Are they good now there and they like who got the case. So you forget the case, though, Psychology: Two large python crashed through man's kitchen ceiling snakes why they have to be snakes on this again. A bunch of I can quote snakes in a plane, mother, dove wreaking I thought on the mother Freaking kittens agency. I snakes in a kitchen ceiling I think he was in the middle of doing that stupid joke that all men do at some point with their wife and they like hey. You know where the zoo is cuz. I need to cage these pythons as right as Zack, recommended to pieces. That's ironic

and then I the wife's like covered in blood his deserve them. She doesn't even help where you get snake catch, her said the male pie. Funds were likely up in their fighting over near by female, should like in the ceiling having two big fight. And then they crashed through the ceiling in their fight legacy. Haven't humans, if only in movies, rather than as they can They Rafale find the Clinton First Movie be paid and see that did. You Charlie, I know, following the ceiling and they get our accidents are fighting they actually before they fonder. Neither Don't don't indented these snakes. I wonder how many levels up they were the beating their fight. Maybe they are having an ex vitamins. Sponsible youngest snake. Do they know they have this crazy. For my brother just sent me a video as he was out mountain biking around the middle, a road to rouse an extended up just fighting. Yet while

as you can hear, we are annexed to allowed road. Maybe we have none gardener, sound insulation. If we have not- or you can hear them so If you came here that dinner, I microphones early thankful to hear that awesome motorcycle. That guy is so cool yeah, so impressed me to amazing our let's go onto our stories of the week. Have a sponsor this week. Faithful counselling sponsor, do show us times are force a thing you Everything'Ll, as Jane. You know that God, as always there for you, but sometimes things can just feel a little overwhelming and can help to speak with someone who shares your faith and your values. They ve accounting errors online counselling, kick the professional across counselor and often people that's important alot of people as a major issues. Having might even be connect a crisis of faith, you don't attack, Richard Dawkins, with your problems, Spain, wanna, go which yeah he's moonlights ESA psychiatry.

Where anywheres now mustache to disguise himself you dont, want that they want to trigger announcement anger well, so we ve been. No, we look for cancer. In the dirt. Toby right now, a lot of my work and yet taken a new patients. So it's agree. Alternative to go. You can text he now The very they unwilling on any video com, never works for! You text chat phone video, the other licence. Professional councillors, theirs they specialise in anxiety, stress, depression, relationship crisis of faith issues which you won't get with Richard Dawkins, the count. He darted away like a man, he does crisis of doubt counselling crisis of Democrats. Need crisis, fave council. They got three thousand. U S license therapists across all thirty states very available online. I found every christian therapist, Oliver no not really Santa those is not centre. It's a Viable, and you get ten percent off your first month. If you get a faithful counselling dot com select

Babylon be saw the questionnaire help me Sesar needs and faithful account. That comes out of Babylon be get started today had do it do it now. Your guaranteed, not to get a councillor whose reduction hundred percent guarantee money back. Our good story silhouette every story. These are some of them, huge crowd turnout Sunday for the memorial service of a victim of extreme police violence. This is very sat, very tragic, HANS, Gruber were thrown from the top floor, of negativity Plaza by New York. Police Sir John Maclean. Many consider one of the most excessive use of force ever witnessed. Mclean was allegedly not even in the that he was. He was not even in his jurisdiction at the time of the crime. He was on your work is all we are losing our allowing you not even on duty any just through.

The sky from a building the gall, the love hotspot, humanity, On the lean humanity in the USA the humanity. When it's early, you may know the humanity audacity yeah yeah said sad, not good signals you, I everybody's rioting, similarly funeral I what was like the anybody speak I don't know Carl cards incursions by her guy. He died too. So mounting, who would have had a chance to speak. Maybe that's the guy, they were there as they add tat, guy that they have black guy glasses. Maybe he could speak That man was a hero, said Doyle, Gram who travel from Nevada to pay respects I mean I don't really know much about him other than that some police officer Cuban, but he said

like someone, we should all honour and Emily so pay respects here. It's good You think it's in the homes colors filled in on this jockers when you started hash No, I just like what we would like the home scholars to be in the dark, and I have seen this movie believe it or not. I didn't see any the sequels this has arrived. To die hard for our homes, schooling, fans. So, neither aside our two or three or four weeks with seeing I always so I did see the the reboot. I think all the way up to die hard die from the apple commercials turn think that because zones kind of weak everything since sentiment bad, it was like toned down to be peace. You there If I remember is tonight appeared a team that was also like transformers level stunts she's like over to it, the fund of die hard was like ordinary guy, ordinary Gaia, put into despair, Two is pretty good men, one still the best, but three good, tired vengeance. The third one I can remember those same while Jackson,

Are you asking me up only seen the first one now well would say, let's have a movie nine watch em, but last time, How did you know? I didn't really? I don't trust you anymore. You guess what commander without me, because we set up a whole commando night, so I could see him. You were there all right, I'm tired, tax it it was. I ended up at home. No, I didn't. I said eyes, and I ended up going. I didn't just wake up, Home I still have not seen Commander whoops sad terrible. Many of the memorial or now wearing shorts, with Gruber written on them. To remember the man who has taken too soon thanks to unaccountable. Please actions, there are key As for the arrest of John Mc Lean, including from HANS Groupers brothers, Simon who vows to do something about it, I guess I'm losing the third one garriga there's the reference to brother. We get you covered. So the Oregon cancel caught movies is that the idea Yak are all cup Maggie. That's a lot of the

Mommy's ever made hot first lethal weapon back, boys, Beverly Hills COP rush hour. I have seen no those accept rush hour. These erosion. Bad buoyancy, bad boys, to you ass? We Text mean: are you line from? Let's go see bad boys, I was raising the new one that was for life and others like what is our families tooth? most states, it's horrible are, as already that is our railways will forgive me, but it's also like it's the most It made Michael Bay, my like over the topic. It's a good two and a half hour acts and film. They go from like street dig Gun chases them airplanes them slick cars this downhill. This insane Are there any train? The hastens he's, gotta, Is everything? Ok, it's insane, yeah so a privileged series of honor Butner doesn't feel right, right, die hard day,

Joe Biden conceded today. The republic could convention was all right, pretty aspiring to be honest and a real gas. But also to the democratic convention, is going to be even better in a conversation with a department store makin, it was Clara Biden got into the department store as its banana businesses to doesn't thirteen AIDS, hated him after they put out a silver alert. Coax him into a window, is Van writing by ready. Free hair on the side, there are then able to transport him back safely to the basement. The storage, until election for storage, business practice, We also have very long some here. Anyway buttons and if you ve got the republican dimension was good. Just wait till we have our convention right, there's a jerk, that's the basic. So this is notable is kind of you not just cheesy by one of our Biden. Jokes.

He's an old guided them is on them, but it was retweeted by president trial. So that's why what we wanted to its now of a part of history? It's now part of history in history, books, kids will be in class and the village, the president back in two thousand twenty retreated the Babylon Bee it'll, be a question which satire cited. President retweet a the union be hard time. Our times. Four, I e the boar. What's report d, the Babylon Bee, the kids will support you in on it and what's the Babylon we nor teacher behold schooling, then that is happening now. That's true we'll still be wear masks see. No, it's bizarre Is that, like we always joke one? These days we're gonna get retweeted by the press. You'll be the most glorious day ever happen and we don't even notice for light of we had it haven't the Miller night and Things Amigo

so crazy to be because of the twitter suspension and all that like this, was it and even register as bullet like areas of traffic. Yeah, how does this go under hotter than retweeted Think jaw? Whenever writers chosen, like suddenly Higgins, we get we did for middle of the night. I talk it's possible, the guys it's possible, the trump like got up to use them bathroom and x ray that's what you look like? How we're does it think that changes to elect the President of the United States was sitting on the toilet with an retweeted artists are meeting our story. Tweeting it happening I didn't really dumb. Retweet does less data questions here. Did he know does it. He knows it's vagrant yeah mixture. Yes, he does I'm pretty sure there's, always a little question. So it didn't, it wasn't like life, changing you think the presidential

retreat would be like instant your set for life, and that's it that's it. We arrived not superstar, didn't really changing, and I think that post I clicked on more and got more retreats. He was in the middle of ain't. He was going like retreat retreat. Romania must leave the insignia barely register. If you just like tweeted once a day passed people scream the air of already forgotten sad. So please do again, but you part it out and take a break present trump and then reach no one of our best articles, we'd like it. Just between you and retreat, which favours the one about everything, has gone down in this country, downhill in this country, since men stopped wearing hats, How do you really funny if you share to really stupid one really dumb when you report girls resident in up to something like and any better than reach would be better. If you directly copied the blanket, stood in there in the news like apps,

we watch out for the squirrels I've been saying this for years, That's what we want. That's what we want. Yes, Our news on extort has been there from the beginning always running toward the important stories and absolutely never covering them up. Yet the Babylon Bee went through scenes, archives and dug up. These Fourteen headlines, they published covering some of the most significant events of human history. Thank you see in it for being a bastion of truth and honesty in this post. Modern world Yeah I was aware that CNN had been around. For my whole, life, but I didn't rise had been around since before Christ. Yeah six thousand years of creation, there have been those called BC. Cnn Mac them now the snake in the garden, that's right there in the beginning represent sailor, their reporting, while they were only within ASEAN, represents a sneaking. Are they hired? Ok, here's the

first headline: we hide in Berlin School really work. Check your credentials. Sir. Twenty three forty eight BC. Watery, but mostly peace will flood destroys earth so wet, but most of its problems, probably pretty com. That's like this is the part where the waters coming up Amazon, but enough. Everything else. That's like it's like in it. The splash bad place special the water, soil and water part. No one parts premature to want to put even. Ten, twenty five Bc Dave circumcised, to enter Philistines in mostly pay this medical procedure can be taken entirely sways life. Circumcision is just like it. Pinned down and all the Kurdistan numerical profuse doing there sitting there weren't feeling anything actually think he kill and before he certain says the tip of the iceberg. Then

had never sending me forty circumcised them. If I remember he beheld, First, I thought so that what is the point after we're, ok busy, you wouldn t want to collect them. It's like a poem on thing gotta catch more, it's easier than carry much heads room. Yeah, that's true! I have so many wrong thoughts. So he collected kids put olives and their fingers stop there. He collect all the force skins and he brought them to saw these things had starts melon? How long you have them, but they do refrigerators or anything coolers. When you think the shelf life is on a force We need to get a medical freshmen here to talk about is what, today, our traditional listening perfect for that game on the line column I'm guessing, because I know that, like the food handler new food hammers licences like six hours, something that you allowed to keep things out and after but that's the cycles of that. Their edible

it's probably longer than that, but that's the standard, yeah soviets and preservatives and force can preserve items. How is it because they or their travel about a camel and stuff? Joel sack of force gains in its hot weather, toddy is muggy, aiming to force kinda just as gross ok, we move on. Thirty, three idee, mostly peaceful crowd, demands Jesus, be crucified, roof comment Seventy nine, a fiery but mostly dormant mountain Vesuvius, are ups. Now that one is that the idea with the most beautiful thing inside, like most of the time, it's fine and then kill much people but there has not a norm catching onto the on destroying Norman through on trying to figure out what makes reporters like. Defy saying the most suitable because in their head, like you, do wonder what s cry. What most people are killing people

but that's your of everything right making us Emily everybody is killing. Somebody yeah, guess you even say that I mean What of the Nazis were like actually murdering people regularly, sure, maybe a higher percentage than a normal group of people, but you don't say mostly peaceful nazis. It's maybe we'll get there yet maybe We have an hour now, there's no chancellor, who know how many Nazi jokes and said Deirdre. For reading them, twelve thirty five eighty gang is kind of tax, China and mostly pacifist invasion. One forty, seven, eighty black death peacefully kills millions trump to blame fourteen fit Three. Eighty Constantinople liberated by religion of mostly peace, can bleep that one out to make it on you two: were we gotta bleep, because it's like you know Lodge an appeal on optimism is longer rely to tell Muslims with we rarely totally bad. You said the word odd, darn it we

we get people that email since they make fun of Muslims Jews, so we ve, maybe were made fun of Muslims once twice now. We're wimps. We are wimps. Hindenburg has mostly pleasant fight report. I didn't I didn't they is full of people. I don't know how many people died unhindered, hey Alexa, how many people died in a mill, exact, Syria. How many people died in the hindenburg hey serious thirty six point: thirty! six hours under its non well, I'm gonna get carried that many people, let's find them jerk about yeah thanks it. We ve passed the statute of limitations of it. X for Amber nineteen. Forty five eighty America drops to mostly now that allow people to diagnose their drops to most of peaceful nuclear bombs on Japan. Dark.

And I was reading this early as I can getting more depressed, as we got done with chinese citizens, one thousand nine hundred and fifty nine, mostly don't starve to death in great famine. A small percentage of the people, do, six. Eighty USSR reactor at Chernobyl, mostly not exploded, trousers, Wonderingly, director, unexploded rightly other ones, or fine, And even like, if you looked at the amount of the reactor that blew up, probably the chunks, there are good amount chunks that we're not. I finally explore? Did you Emily lighted for Websites like this exact would expected, and why was gonna watch. This is a bunch of guys like its exploding in Russia. That's exploding communism, but they got more interesting, so watch the second episode. If you go to try to go on Mcdonald's, unveils mostly functional MC flurry machine too soon, then it worked excellently weapon, Yeah you go to Mcdonalds. I order and it's always.

Our machines do everything they can to use a stupid plastic spoon to make it the carrier you how they do that then the flare machine, the way it works. They take your spoon that you're gonNa Edith and plunged into the machine and into the spoon, is how the little square- yes, that's, why they have fallen and whenever new, that yeah, is dumb. Two thousand eight. Eighty Obama runs mostly scandal: free administration, biases now said too good, seventeen the money possibly the most tragic of all the last. Yet I mostly not a terrible movie that true, though, If you are fifty one percent good, if you disregard the bad plot points, plot is a large part of the thing and will story though, but it's feeling very well and there's good acting fifty one percent, not terrible.

Sad list now right. Well, let's go to our topic to the week, we're gonna it's about a and b headlines that we never published. Gb spicy this should be spicy. Stuff, actually means that there is enough money to be, if is to the boundaries of the play do well as been doing like follow shops in late acts and things he's going all out doing good work back there. If you listen to the audiovisual, miss, naturally special effects, dance on its pretty great now as other stuff, Chicken you to channel you today, I am going to meet somebody in that script, button, yeah and then you can catch. May cartoons Workin out Frank, Flemings and Austin Robertson, the pretty fantastic. I will well when we write Babylon be headlines. We ride along jokes that we never end up using because there dumb

well there's lots reasons we might now run a job feels wrong bills. Wrong there's another joke that works better, but this was pretty good but Sometimes you write it in your. I go crap. Someone else already made this joke that happens along just, doesn't feel right, Kyle's killed in, like a child mean there is basically Kyle's finger hovering over the published button. Or if you something I didn't even make it through a time when Kyle was gone and even was charged, and it's pretty bad z, thinner, has no standards. There republish anything ever made me chuckle outpost, that's pretty bad jokes is FARC, publish their use. I have never posted afar headline. Have I ever I did post? I think I did our first fart joke a little while back the Goya beans joke hourly zone like weakens or suffering from allergies, lethargic. Isn't it

maybe I tied in global warming. Somehow I don't hurry, Babylon be headlines that we never published many hidden cash in on frequent liar miles. Get it set upon me Thereupon, ballplayer onward, yet Spaniards upon good. One download, be giving out. We need laughter act in the air. We need that could soon be rough urine. This in contacts with Netflix put out a ass etons do yeah spicy but I, like a Jesus, is gay thing. I'm right a gauge using animal Joan Gale Jesus show or something that they do and they are acting like cars are so brave. Do that has taken on our religion, this religion, so we are prepared. With an image. Netflix defends deposit, the image Dan Netflix

and New Kommeni depicting Mahomedan drag, Africa has now funny image you kid thing is no other way. That's gonna be super offensive. I think the main reason that we backed off on this one- and it was tat, cause like we really wanted just to back and ethics. For this, we want to do something better admittedly, because we had had a couple stories where people had thought it was real that was really in. If, if some islamic terrorists saw the story. It thought it was really decided to go to Netflix involvement. We felt pretty bad. I given come attack us yeah, but when I want you to blog Netflix Kosovo's, so they went away like make sure let him do that. I've been little more safely cowardly Then sexual can tell us how they are cowards. We are in the comments pan sexual now just shut the workbench Yosemite spent. Parents, sexual exclusively, attracted to cook where

that's pretty and sexual is pretty good they lack Mono. That's a crackpot now. That's a kettle. Any pan Did the guidance get ten sexual and his bio on the dating site, like our greatest, very open and accepting of on any meat singer on he's, gonna call these pots and pans, there's guys like those shoes right there. I haven't shoe and others like a foot thing, I'm innocent meetings, but things- and I remembered MIKE Nelson Time- let go there's this. One of these guys his fetish was the other a whole shed full of all these we're differently. Women choose your something scrubber boots or something now is what is into just issue No, that's fine! You do you you when I like it. I like women. He likes rubber boots.

Pretty much no judgment, that's a total equivalent fun! It's a social contract. It's only society. This tells us that revenue and a woman and a different thing is true. The patriarch, it's been rubber thing what those capitalists. What am I, on here climate currency moment like went away, taking notes climate crisis solved by Coca COLA, offering cool refreshing beverages sponsored article. Why does this bunch? They they like, saw the racism Writ Sergei content, hop. Would they already did that's the thing with the pets, Italia, Pepsi or could call whose Pepsi, with the. Rights, yelling, the guy Miller Rights and Handsome

does she know a guy raises Mozilla our they'll be great joke Mediterranean Apple, whose real add this was afraid, flooding joking, I kept one to publish them like I don't people, it's gonna, be very confusing as behalf as before, using coke realities. That answer that so maybe we'll run at some time frame new rule requires ts agents to buy your dinner first. He's gonna uncle Joe P Madam president, a virgin that liberty, they probably. Here's is all that area very again. Above at dinner, the Euro area and the image of any more suggestiveness like the guy was a gigantic unbuckling involved or something eight. There was an Ethan India liberals irritated at having to cars. They explain how there we smell like he slogan isn't what it sounds like.

This requires assembling a fragmentary explain. It does require some context. This I think this was during defined. The police Is there also that's when a document defined the police defined the police? And I explain I mean defined, please There are a lot of those like they had like government kill, white people or something black women, blue all women. They had a. Is there always? Are you really blatantly working the you think I like there's a fairy One of his leg kill all men. We don't mean Kellerman yeah, but with its door ass. So there so they have the sign up, we smell like be. Let not now will mean they're p, It's you're right, it's good, jug, yeah, we let we levy a manager Frank's. I hear enough about if you like, because the only thing he does rights allow

Similarly, writers, more that end up in the air, the pipeline that we never used. The key to writing good headline is running along the right. It's true. It's true, Alex Alexandria, Cosu, Cortez, starts socialists. Think tank nearly drowned opens because it take the other day. Hu Jia was drowned, seas and round, not thinking, I think, trying to do seem to his shoe laced yoke where we may follow a battle. Cassio fragment do yeah, I'm telling you. Man swears, you can stop watching Jordan Peters emit anytime, you want to. No. When you have other things, rabbit horrid! Happy. I, sir, watching a couple eclipse. The night started reading the book, a disturbing, back when I remember you out the headline when like did I reckon

you don't happen to you just event, and I think we saw I'm really sorry watch the video shut them maybe did published. I don't I don't. It was published arrogance and remain the image the guy look in my colleague, but he got cartons. Voices in the dark staring at a skin is either displays. I can stand I can staff watching Peters I saw this. The bull, Dado Rourke answers voter questions. Why casually hanging upside down from rafters like bat still running for president, he gets jumping up on standard on table, jumping on proteins and skateboarding seaborne, so easy and set out for the rafters like the plague of bat. That's the joke, hidden cool, bats laughter. It. Study best way to make wife hurry up while getting ready for church. Is this

in the car in your car and haunt the horn. Mohunes Britain, like an old Studebaker Churchill, the problem with the church joke, as you got a really commit to a cause. You gotta know it's very good likelihood. It's gonna get about ten shares yeah nowadays, especially because, We ve narrowed down our church fans to only ones at her far right. Wing extremists is true. So are. We only have a Nazi Christians left by the faithful this game of Thrones Vps, really getting out of hand. Groucho crackdown go somewhere the idea I'm only ideals and blanks building democracy, CBS further cut nervous heads. Often she had walk into town naked, shithead, yeah,

that might everyone have inertia. Sir last one Biden says boot up your AOL, my spaces and surf on over the Jew, Juno, not biz, ready, say if they know that one. He suddenly Everyone go to jail, three o three o like a text thing. Is it useful, like text that he's like that the reader and go to jewels Rio, recycling Goto didn't make it since what he said so sad, but now we can read these are the best and the worst or the unused. I tried it. Ones, they would make people chuckle or see why we didn't acid or maybe, but he had ridden comedies her mean etons gonna network reason. When he signed up when he contact me the first time he sent me like fifty headlines so much

a few of them to then save the s been a subscriber portion is, in my view, even the very first Babylon be headlines ever should have done my maybe I can for the search bar Ok, so here's etons the ones he sent me. I barely knew this guy he's a here fifty ideas or whatever it was. I was older back them man. We do jobs. Do archaeologists, fine congregation who has never told to sit back down still standing. We use that when we did published on how to do remember. I remember it so, though, that the car still sitting. There are other basely at chisel their alike. In rock. Now. They never again in her down tolerance, in thick layer of saliva after Gladys an athlete work nursery. Should have seen summit. Mrs Zimmermann, killers covered in Vegas layer of mucus in them a little old Ladys were at work in the nursery. I should have seen all your gross headlines,

the warning signs are obvious in hindsight worship, leader born in Idaho, sounds Irish when she sings for some reason is this thing. I've noticed spilling out Alternative singers, like that they trying to sing like the Ark or somethin They talk there like I totally believing Jesus, and they are thing I haven't, nay, nay, nay, irony I can seeing of your love for so the british guys they sing, like their american men, this isn't there a singing accent, they say. Is there and so suffering you trying to sound swedish, Let's do like to more than animal sailor, either polaris am I going congregation, takes turn sitting extra zone out husband receive unconscious neck rubs during service

That would be a good thing. I have to sit there, there would be a good neighbour, video sketch or something you get back. He's: doesn't really the thousand one day I'll rotate through let conveyor belt Kennedy the idea. Take some vision to get that, even as a very cartooning mind, you have a very like plague, you think of things in terms of what would be funny in a video scenery, something soon offering plate just an Ipad with pay pal app nets, worst one? As I am a funny I got you jumped to defend it and I'm real last night. This is probably true. I probably do it now, so your fault, it's realities, listens, makes sense in you. Well we're gonna, read it in these scribe proportionately our way for that subscribers. That's gonna, hate mail, scroll down, throwing gazillion headlines. I can barely that's

our ears and a hate mail from a lovely lady named Susan, and she says The amendment is Susan, a derogatory term. Now, I think, have Susan's in kerins. What's the Susan, I don't know our Susan's like Karen's Let's see Susan would swear, we researcher designate researcher Dan's Dan's too busy to be researching during the shadow in the show Susan Susan Susan is gossipy and addicted to wine. Karen summons the manager? Ok, Brenda? watches, grace anatomy and believe she's, a medical experts whole list now, so they have on his name's its lose its potency. Ermined yard was ass, learn, that's the name, Ermengarde Ermine Guide the girls name. Why would you describe yourselves as news? You can show Hiccoughing drinking wine, Why would you describe yourselves news? You can trust prisoners

camel, whereas planting we'd on pants attempting to plant cocaine on President Trump oh like camel, but printing trash like that is what makes us look silly. Stand shaded, fake ourselves to others, dyed in the wool far right thinker. Please stop oh she's, a doctor on us He says under the energy as a doctor and look at that. I, like there's a couple of funny quotation marks in here: She says an article about came a Harris planting. We he'd codec what we and then she says it's. This is what makes us look silly, so era We don't scars of news, you can trust me some of his faking it using the dress of a crime, big difference. If you try to forty will be one call, your site fig music entrust Guinness courage.

Wake her, so she eimer jokers plants we'd on pants. What did we do? The attempt to plan cocaine. Tromp reside in article. Maybe it's in the article I wrote the article. I don't remember unsubstantiated fake in fake ourselves to others. She writes like a doctor, radiant prescription and understand it. I dont think ourselves to others. Have sustained. She didn't take ourselves to others. A dyed in the wool, far right thinkers, she signing off I'm a dyed in the wool. Far thinker yeah, I think so she's, conservative or she's saying of the stand fake. I can't stand it we're gonna. You conservatives described themselves as far right like yours, That's me out dyed in the wool and the far right, whose always died the walls leftists dynamite. Leftist dyed is there. Died in the certified right. Winger Susan, there now never dyed in the wool swastikas

Dyed in the wool means that goes deep down due to their wool dyed in the wool Three hundred thousand dollar sheep, half malino happen. I die sheet from there spected lineage he's out there. Like if you'd say that name of that she's lineage urban stamp, like leg, is the ship's last name Kennedy urgently and weak dogma. This is the end of the Babylon veto. If you're freeloader have not subscribe, do thou Mombi! If you are Discover the Babylon working gotta continue to read some of Ethan early submission anaemic. Go funds or merely submissions. Never order to give you a tour of our new space. We just moved in two days ago. I want to see my talk about walk around much changes due to longer on my phone, So let me give you a wise routing: camera won't go far will ever get at it in the phone village. We can do that

and I M a talk a little bit about our plans for the new This highlights gonna go work, gonna have some cool stuff coming up for the subscriber lounge. Ah, here we're gonna build an actual subscriber much that you can't come to only us now, but come spirit. If you're, not a subscriber, we still appreciate you and we want you to go on you. You had nothing to do with this at all. We wanted on Youtube in. Merlin, that's bestride, but yet elbow drop of top route tickets scribe button and click the Bell: how do you get notified drop it like a hot to Molly. Dont colleague comments. We re read the currency, is one guy. Is we crap from ice? My voice cracking as we speak in the proper frequencies. My voice in a crack is, if I can voluntarily speaking a different voice the crack! You do. We want to show you start changing, so you can try to give them.

People are gonna, get a democratic voice, one go very upset that we recommended secular comedies. So we do comedy rhythm is fun. It's fun to get going down. Please act We need a good sign off until next time, Billy everything you read on the internet or work on. It

The rest of this thought guest is in our super exclusive premium subscriber large. If you're, not Babylon, bees subscriber go to Babylon, be dotcom, slash plans for full length, ad free pod gas access to our headlines for twenty percent of the items in the Babylon Bee Store a gift and more. Please drop us review on Itunes and share the pockets with a friend feedback and love male go to podcast at Babylon, be Duncan, follow Ethan at acts, gossip and Kyle. At the Underscore Kyle Underscore Man on Twitter.

Island either would like to thank, says Dylan for paying bills Adam forward for creating their job, the other writers who tirelessly pitching headlines subscribers and you the listener until next time. This is Davy, Andrea. The voice of the battle on be reminding you to go forth and spread the gospel using selfies, dioxin and manufacture, outrage.