« The Babylon Bee

That Story Show Crossover! Zombies From Jesus/Gas In Church/Defending Skeletons

2020-08-07 | 🔗

In this special crossover episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan welcome the guys from That Story Show: James Kennison and John Steinklauber! This episode is filled with stories about misplacing children, skeletons, bombs, zombies from Jesus, casting out demons, and the wacky things that 4-year-olds do. In the subscriber portion, we finally get Ethan’s disgusting pizza story and read some of our own subscriber submissions!

Stories Discussed

  • 4 year old antics
  • Christians that aren’t being a good witness on the road with their massive JESUS bumper stickers
  • There are some things the GOODWILL guys will NOT take
  • When zombies interrupt worship and romance
  • Autobot transforming piano tuners
  • An Innocent bomb threat
  • In defence of skeletons
  • Cookie Jerky
  • The quarterly casting out of the demons
  • What’s wrong with The Smurfs?
  • Sandy Patty
  • Farting in church

Subscriber Portion

  • Ethan’s disgusting pizza story
  • The Babylon Bee Subscriber submissions
  • The Ten Questions!
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
In a world of fake news, we bring you up to the minute, factual, inaccuracy. The heavy dose of moral truth. With your hosts, Kyle Man and either You call this Is the Babylon Bee fake news? You can trust hi. Everybody welcome to a very special Babylon be cross over episode. Yes, have come together with what am I a fake podcast, you may have heard me- recommended the past. In fact, if you dig back into the old episodes of his podcast, I was honour for a short time. This is that story show and we like welcome Mr James Kennison, and John Stein. Clobber couldn't tag you're here with the sons of Zebedee and we are going to be telling the story ass, O Ilo
The premise of that story showed the basic ideas. Life is hilarious. Everybody has a funny story to tell we are in. Our interviews will ask our guest, so you got me: stories. We destroy and then never works in it. Like a formal interview, they does look like an idiot, I know they have like. Everybody, has a funny story to tell. I'm gonna get everybody to tell her funniest stories. That's what he has pike asses about right Tell us more tell us more about your well it all started years ago with me, my brother, we hadn't quite an interesting upbringing. With parents that didn't care very much what we did and so that translated into a lot of activities. It shouldn't have happened and so we said you know, rather than get on the phone and telling people wanted to timeless started, show about it. And in his excitement for podcasting lasted about.
Episodes, and so after that I gotta go host we in it quickly became less about our stories and more about the story People like you said that everyone has a funny story. Everyone has a story that they tell when they get together with a group of friends and and so yeah. That's what we do is we give our audience a chance. Share their story with you know our listeners. So it's a lot of fun. And jobs are to achieve our friends way back in the day like during your high school and stuff, and we want the same youth group there. We were and the same youth group. My mom was the pastor. And are the whatever you call a lady that scare? The youth crazy, I guess, volunteer, volunteer right, wasn't paid for someone who does areas more.
Yeah, and so you know we got older and we grew up and stuff and went our separate ways and then I was online one day and I was like I want to watch James Kennison is up to, and so I google them and then I found a show and it's like I'm going to be a secret listener. This thing and I join his way back then we had forums. So I joined the forms in like three seconds later he's like dude. What are you up to many said he you want to be on the show some time in and the rest is history, so I set eyes ass. I found you, as you were talking about ex cop and when you're upset and then you well, we started upon cast of you. Remember scarp yeah call called chop the official eye on our gas. We we love, we were so in love with the creativity that acts cop was I'm ages unbridled tree. Charity from your brother and yourself and you start to show you how to die just talking about activists, because in the end we have now come on at least one time.
Remember that we reach our druthers comics Frame, frame house full analysis. Nobody wanted to marry him and then we do on for quite a few shows. Actually now so here we are again I'm Kyle, MRS Kyle is welcome to the show guy who does not want to be a new stuff, all its way less, as for madagascar- well so we re stories we're thinking. We have. When one then you d like to do in your show, is you guys do story the weak? no kind of our israeli but year weekly, update, what's happened this week, so Do they have any funny occurrences in medicine? We all boy later I ever Ok, so I was just drive around three main amount: business like normal Saint Louis driver.
And that's kind of a funny thing in itself, because nobody in Saint Louis knows how to drive everybody drives for themselves. But I'm I'm. I'm passing this lady in a car, and she just pause our right in front of me. I have to slam on my breaks. One thing I see on the back of a freak in car is Jesus big bumper sticker, the juices Jesus in big print and my thoughts were like this is like It's ok cause Jesus, told her to do that. Removes Whizzer, apparently and so I shall do. My dear are for the first time I get, Jesus alone, the woozy before, ok, I realized tat that I was experiencing that bumper sticker like a non christian. Would you know
really in everyone's best interests. If you don't drive like Jesus would drive, you need to get rid of your. My boss is a jewish carpenter. Bumper sticker, you know if you can inferior to dignify him You need to get that bracelet from the ninety nine these off, if, if you're gonna be a flop and people out through the window and stuff like that, so so yeah. I was I struggle, but with with phase. Sometimes you know, I think, Veronica. We all do and but I never struggled quite in that way. We will just leg yeah. Do you tell her to do that? Those whose ok yeah so the lady with Jesus bumper sticker. I might ostracised some people with this one because there's probably a lot of christian fish people out there right now
but you need to ask yourself: should I be advertising for the other side and mice? a bad driver, but I should have a programme on the back of my car so that people will be driven toward Christianity because those are the same, you don't know how to drive or the crap and so bright area. There's really gladiator on your cars as what he sand right permission to use that as a Babylon beast or if you have the main work So like your phone and it in with the just the bumper sticker that just says Jesus. I'm sorry to hear so many clever, you know Christian, logos and emblems and slogans, and you just say Jesus: it's like come on. Yeah
if you sign in the bottom of whatever you did that he now it's my lamp of approval, I approve of all these bad actions right there. You know, I mean Donald by an three cheeseburgers choose ass, our benefit as it does a unique to Christianity and no media Mozilla who had Slap Mohammed on the back of her car? It's just positively understood. I soon entire billboards with just the one word Jesus like what am I supposed to do, and this is even as a Christian, now and then there's somebody simply a picture of of the back of a car that guy had just taken in blazing the entire back of his car with Jesus is Lord Jesus honk. If you love Jesus Jesus is the answer everywhere all over the back of his car, and I felt terrible.
Because I was Dejesus thing. I ever saw, but only I love Jesus in all, but apparently not enough not as much as this guy he's sky pizza committed, hopefully do that to the Jenna thing there. So I don't know, I don't know, I'm going to be in line behind him in judgment day and he's going to get this big old. For his his declarations on the back of his car and then there have you. I just wanted you to your Iphone worded and like that post, that you did Jesus scare shared out I wrote a gift. The base year? What have you got anything this week? I'm still here Think of what my negation of fashion a plan for this integrated it. Well, I was. I was actually gonna share this our show yesterday James. So I hope you don't mind me run around
I'm sharing it with our friends at Babylon, be my wife if my wife Amy Regime we downsized about three months ago. So we went from a bigger house, so much smaller house, and so we ve been getting rid of a lot of stuff because we know how many, whereas store and I'm so you Good will open backup, finally to drop off all our precious stuff that we still have we ve been, we ve been visiting them quite often, and so my wife was taking some stuff and she had some carpets. You know some some room area, carpets and she said to the gallows taken. Everything said you d all take rugs and the guy. Stop the news like this. Really bewildered look on his face early like he's like no, no man, we we don't do that here and she was issues disappointing casino. She didn't make the connection like James it she's. I was there like brand. Who practically and if they ve hardly been used and is
like all you said or rugs, somehow he knew that she was a teacher and here's. I wonder what kind of teacher you were so yeah known rugs and drugs. Apparently goodwill we'll take rugs, but they don't take drainage, drawings depends what you talk about. I'm not sure if the guy was a friend in better. What are you trying to imply man come back later rugs? That's all it's not you! Now, ok I'll, give him for me this week outside of just Jim? RO chaos of having a two year old issues. It's a fog of like free, since I can new work today- and I realise my kids put something in my-
shirt, change, pink block shudder of any that's a visible yeah. I can see there from all the way over here I overrun with Saint Louis I thought it was a badge. So yeah I don't know what was in there. I didn't notice it until I have the shirt on and I was going to be going in and be on. The show, And he really likes to knock all the toilet paper after like go into the bathroom in the whole. Bathroom is full of and they never goes back there. I try to certain areas that can be the story. Other night, I tried to really teach him his lesson and sit there and force him it's a fucking it all back on the road and it's like now that can make an redo it and we propose to like an hour in there so I teach him you know like I'll yeah now, you're gonna know you don't just on wine to a paper who's gonna be the only thing he talks about where this counselor one nine and it's my earliest memory I walked in and there he was standing naked, the bathroom interest. It was all over the bathroom like the battle
Fatty Wonderland Term ever who we are. That is a we think of is a thing that has a very singular use, but it allows it and they think party streamer. They see is much more joyful thing. I wish I could see it like that, I wonder Let us say: toilet and now, flush, the toilet over and over, and let it eat as much as it could and would flush the Andaman analyse this role. He wipes. Big. He uses some of it because it somewhat dirty that some ideas mess Argos her once it touches the floors dirty. So I would have gotten rid of all of it. Anyways on all them into a germ of hope, Kay embeds early dirty, anyone can at a good point. Kylie crazy happened this week.
Yeah, I mean mostly just general chaos. I've moderately, where have I've got a four year old and I one thing he's figured out is how to turn on a video game system by himself now there, so he has done things like a race are save files, all that man is but the other day we were in our bedroom and he's downstairs, and we hear screaming to say we live run down there like you know, somebody is dying ones limbed, just limbs just fell off and he's play banjo, Kazoo III, then there's like there's like a shark that starts chasing you when you get in the water, oh yeah, He found the water in the shark. S does the whole, but he's trying to swim for this year is like a really gonna get eaten. There's something restarted film in in real
Another one apple reading Doug to April has the book Iron asked and I've been reading out the dogs books to my two year old, so our quiet, opera there's some I'm skipping, but I'm fine weather has been violent, but as one to see where a little girl is describing what happens when a man gets hung. Oh my eyes, others get policy about its source. We kind of funny he's like its hang around the neck when they see some like when the when the next nap its action. If you hadn't thought he said, started laughing saw their pale and he made me repeat in repeating repeat: obviously not starck details again when he had started counselor twenty one, a while I'll, hang agreeable if it takes a great with toilet paper here that will reinforce the triple.
I'd toilet paper, our kids tell stories. You know my for Europe now he'll tell stories from video games. He played as if they really happened. It's Maria begun, the gun and like dad. I stand behind the head. Also build these. It blew up. You can just say that you can sell and they go in and out of real life and videogame MIA. They can either that's the thing is happened. Hopefully they won't hurt you in the head with a hammer, something well You guys are you guys get some church history in your lives? You're both? Are you still passed her down No, actually I have transition. I'm restrain my church yeah. My church caused me a media pastor. Now do you have it was as Canada I know it sounds kind ridiculous say. Well, I am my congregants are actually microphones and lights apparently
now, so I oversee all the technology and me that comes out of the church now so I was kids pastor and get into old forward united can't keep up with those guys these days and of the network and up kids. I don't understand it out of my life on a mere yeah Nor should we actually, we have an awesome staff here at our church in dumb, when they see your gifting send an unique abilities. They they want to make sure that you are able to flourish. So when you suck a children's registry throughout kids like they were not really good at community organization and then planning parties and stuff, so they get began again, ass, a boy So anyway, I asked you guys to bring some of your classic best of
church related youth group. We also have general stories to I get to the end for just for the fun of it. As I just realized, I don't get ever told my pizza story on the show but I was considered a classic over there and how so did you guys them hundred and thirty? Eight. Forty eight sorry, three hundred three hundred forty area very idea. I double the number of arrests. Only guys they them six hundred episodes would still it's a lot of the AIDS, spend since two thousand six January. That doesn't count all the other random things that James is done so ably right aim that communism, Rubbia thousand podcast this point easily a million. That's diamond James. You can lead the way here through their brought us all share a story that was sent by Miss Elizabeth
and it it kind of has to do with church that takes place in a church. She says growing up my mom work full time and my dad took care of my sister and I know I would never call him a stay at home. Dad spend a lot of time of the church, as my dad did. A lot of volunteer work there, her so one day After doing some work at the church office, my dad told me that we were to take a walk down the road to the bank soon, and then he left the room. What do you didn't tell me is he was quickly heading two, the restroom before we left, for your brain decided that he must have left without me, no worries no problem. I know my way around the church and I knew my way bank. So I went before the bank was down the main street of a very fairly large city here in England, it was literally just down the street and around the corner. So I didn't have to cross roads, I must have,
to the Ladys mine, the desk, and explain that I was there to find my dad. I can only imagine how they felt my main, mainly from being. There is very excited it being given some stickers and some colouring to do. Meanwhile. My dad had been carrying around the church trying to find me, but when he tells me as to the story he talks about thinking about how on earth was he going to explain to my mom that he had lost me at assure sanctuary is she's item in the northeast somewhere. Eventually, you John of further church and looked down the main street. Any saw me walk down the road and in hand would to police officers of the car.
To be honest? I remember being disappointed. I didn't get to ride in a four year old warrior, as is apparent myself now. I am very familiar with the outer panic of losing your preschooler and even though I have lived through this experience, is a child still forget to tell my three or all that I was just Quickly, heading to the bathroom before we left the house quietly and confidently attempted to leave the house as if he thought I had already left be enjoyed the story, I'm sure there's me, I'm sure many parents can relate thanks for the podcast Elizabeth, there, you go. I think Ethan can relate led, didn't you have as story on your show last weaker by listener. You listen, you haven't thought about you little hallmarks homework here. We list we talked about the losing our kids, how you use and is Kinda Disneyland. The sister Disneyworld. Once it wasn't my fault, I was
actually a listener emailed in and then went up me I'm now, and he, not only left his kid in the car seat in one of the store he left the kid in the car seat, on top of the car, no military less likely to die on better I've. Gotta go yet that degree badge some reason a scene from raising Arizona coming to mine. We're direct sunlight in town, the ceiling to be right reality more inside the cars and suffocate it's true. We owe I was gonna mention when you I forgot to tell my story when you told that story is that, I didn't because I've never done this, but forgetting to buckling begins. Six several times we ve turned around and are: are you know it at the time one or two year old is standing there. Looking out the back of the window Oh man, you get custom in Georgia for doing that kind of stuff, actually very regular, thereby existence
Those Terence don't love their children. They don't strapper man, now another one. Oh oh yeah oil. This one comes from my personal experience. I used to be a full time, chores pastor at a church in Florida and I was working in a room that but it up right against the young adult, meeting room and in my room, was blank and bear the room was full of LA coffee shop type stuff. They age said it's beautiful room and they also had a keyboard and and a full bandying set up there for their services. In this room happened to be too young people, so you know nineteen twenty one somewhere in there and there sir they're sitting right next to each other. On the the piano and there
their singing praise and worship. Musing together, a guy called sparking came in there, and I also feel just to see is this is gonna, be love, ok, so not a couple like a boy and a girl, yeah yeah an end and in their spark in there is their use and plays and worship as an excuse to very close together and Africa as a user, Jesus supplied love what it was created for. Obviously you so five benefits not is biting anyway. So it's time to go and I have to I have to get rid of them, but I I'm very tempted because adores closed in- and I just gotta irritated with them for being in there for three hours, what I do is I got a bump. Do the door
I may have made a zombie sound. And also the piano goes silent, the singing stops and, above all, your door again just kind of movie and all of it and when I finally do I'm like ok, ok, I've, let him hey on too long when the door and in The first thing I see is the guide is still sitting by the piano scared to death open the door and the lady chair or even for the frequent zombie right there. She almost Sabena by now and she was re she's she's, not even thinking it's only she so irritating. I think it is also shed blood lust in her eyes. She was ready to kill somebody illegally because here so I really got to thinking about that later on.
And I realize that I I was probably a messenger of Jesus for this woman, because you know there's parking right, they're trying to see if they match or not, but I that makes you realize that this was not the kind of man that she wanted in her life, a man that can get up and protect her and guard her, and so I really think you know Blair's last night. She was thinking Jesus for those. I worry what I call the zombie from Jesus shoes. Shoes in much per actually wrote a song about it called zombie from Jesus, and it's all about this guy sit back they're mine in his own business, not not really step up to the game and her haven't too to be the brave one. So it. Always it always trips me out on there. We get that image out of my head of her with that chair up overhead. I don't know how much does chairs way, but
stable, nervous chairs. There had folding wonder now known not only when all man she has a very long and grand Are they more due to the sitting behind I'll play him also? And if it really is a mammoth keys, concern is doubly didn't you. You never made. It may never hit it off. I think to me a moment ago when, well Y know? John, aren't you re this wine Stu Secretary stunner, our eye on the way there a year ago, some source and Fred. Since I was at the church one day when a piano tuner arrived, I was in a different part of the building, so I didn't see him, but the truth is accurate. Appended Tunisia, human Brian rounds. I China have to clarify that. Don't you think has ever made his appearance.
Is like a tree, a hammer, the human yeah transform into it human dignity. Colonel bots out you do a risky to re trials piano and he said he could swear rate Charles could see I notice that it regards That's very interesting answer to one of the story, but that's crazy. I don't think Fred online because I mean you know, thread Frederick the church should secretary, let em the piano tuner in the piano in the auditorium and then came out, found me and asked me how the thing he was wearing helped him to the piano. When I went to see what she was talking about and then went back to her office laughing so hard that I had tears coming on my eyes, man was wearing a halo.
And if you know what a halo is the same metal neck and head brace that somebody with severe neck trauma MID term review, bang it entered a piano, he likes it up a bit going. It's like you to know. I just don't understand how that helps them. That's just now make some kind of sounds like you'd, never tuner before he saw I'm wearing a guy connected in a kind of reverberates through your neck. It's the lions. It's the official Euro TED gear, piano tuner,.
It helps it's like like a cable and a good tar, just a guitar was not there. I was trying to examine you could see something coming at the end of the story like she's gonna have something wrong like he has Gallagher a piano key type, or something or to some dumb trying to predict and predicted that you know you ve, never Heiner, Lehne drama. So our electors have these great stories. Sometimes you never never know what they're gonna come up with them. This one's from James Divine is called man a mistake. This is what I was stationed in the army in Japan about thirty years ago. We attended a japanese american church where we had a chance to many jobs. Christians and a man who did the English to japanese translation was a japanese native with a teenage daughter who was no manner splain this. She was name this because our parents thought of her bread from Heaven how well
every time I read the story in the Bible. I am reminded of this wonderful family from Japan, but I can't stop myself from laughing when I write the part of the story where it says and they manner which means what is it and people is his name, their kids sector, something in the Bible discuss it. Special to me. I'm gonna name you something weird So, some lost in translation there? What is richer genetic? Maybe they trying to figure out the gender early and legislate now manner, and that is what is it The is that that the genders yeah men are manner what manner Do you guys want Yeah it was real. Oil is good voice cavalry bomb threat boy, it's pretty interesting. I have a good voice, banter a boy?
Hey James and John, hey To start with, I would like to say that I'm a freshman in high school in Tennessee, although Tennessee. Now for most of my life, I lived in Northern Louisiana. Also I'd like to without the not everyone down their speaks of the cage and action In fact, most people in northern Mariana sound like James Yea, talk to me Very sourest southern accident Sattler. Sorry, I lost it on purpose and I spoke as the people aren t we didn t like me, when you do, when you do your impression, your mom The attitude that nets common. If we have time story, I'm your mom you're, my mom guy, sir. Have we done talking about your mom S. This is a time when I was in third grade The time I was living in a town inordinately, we at least Louisiana, going to a small private christian school. The schools
mom connected that the principal doubled as the leader for morning chapel now set the scene because of how small the school was our schools, actually held at a church. We had a playground in the back of a school which had been built by students and parents for primarily the younger classes, and one Wednesday morning we came to find that had been burned to the ground in the middle of the night air. This harsh made no sense to us younger students, as we were just a nice private school who does no harm to anyone. Needless to say, the teachers were on pretty highlighted after that incident now our food along introduction, but all this The story is essential to understanding how terrified. I felt after the story. Haven't you ever said: and we're gonna judge? This was really essential. Wasn't exactly needed to know about the cage and accidents in
find out, I guarantee is all better tied together like a croupier, enthusiasm episode or something. Maybe you Kyler really long. When one day I was saying after school for a little bit and decided to sit down and a small picnic table and draw a sad day pulled out some paper in a pencil and begin drawing? I tried to drop People dragons trees, but I wasn't any good to my mind, searched for something simple and easy to illustrate. Then I thought of it about but natural progression. Nazism action, movie style military bomb, no because Kids know how to draw the line bowling ball with a week that is so pot popular design my mother soon called for me and said it was time to go home. So I ran to the parking lot and got into the car for getting my backpack and drawing the stay a sound latin class with no backpack hey. I had everything I needed in my desk right. There was enough the classroom door there was the headmaster said something
A comment mannerly Matilda to the last master, during our outside to teach. You told me to go out into the hall, because the headmaster wanted to talk to me. Being a someone Norman kid I immediately became sheepish did as I was told, but I was but what I was greeted with us far more than the just you're in trouble. Talk in stern. Look. I was expecting there in front of me was my head master, a fireman, a police officer and what looked like a park you're, but I least we have someone comical indifferent, they didn't seem angry. They seem quite com. My eyes widened. My pulse quickened What have I done the deserve such an audience? Whatever you hun, Then the headless I held my small dark blue backpack. Is this yours. He asked me with a suppressed southern exe.
I also had very serious flaw. Is your son? You? Yes, was all my little brain could think today say is twist, here, a nice drawing the policemen pipe it up, pointing to the bomb picture hanging out of the bag. I nodded and managed to nervous. Thanks There was a much more talking and I was sit back into my class, where I told my friends of the strange occurrence, the stories not embellished one iota I later learned from my mom who will but my friend Jude, who is in the class, has confirmed the story. Then my head. Esther- had found the backpack after school, and I thought it was a bomb threat from the I would burn down the plane grabbed. My goodness, my backpack had cartoon skulls and crossbones ice So do not. Unless I get belong to someone at a private Christians,
we have negotiated to patch on it. Reacting said that this must not be a Christian Maryland man, actually sent an email out to the parents of the school asking whose it was my mom answered him back within embarrassed, yep, that's hours, he had also asked my friend Jude. This story was utterly terrifying for me, but now I look back on it with laughter love. The pie, cast and hope this makes it on the show. Sorry, the story was so long seriously. Tennessee starters I certainly have inside joke lot inside jerks who got it? Yes, an episode explains all the insight jokes over their weak. We do them and then they go back in India. The timeline you have to explain all the time you have to do on every thirty shows are you I am so you should have like our acquired. Listening like you must listen to one before you can give me another episode
people surprise me they go back to the beginning and they will they will still find the show and they'll listen to the latest episode they like it, and then they go back our way to the beginning, hats and waited and show that it is dangerous all the way so where's crazy. Where did you get it you're strive? Somebody want to go back and can start episode one right now. If I ever listing devilry styles episode, one it's you guys are so much younger such a deeply our yeah yeah Wanna, come in on all these authorities and policemen and stuff who thought that a correct grand drawing of with a candle coming as it does a wily Coyote MA am that's the most popular GM line is something like a bomb sternly like we'll. Have you tried the bowling ball with design and Germans? I allows innocent children now all the energy is love. It
anyway bomb or even more one popularized by Rocky and Bullwinkle CNN, This is a quick going, but it's funny because I'm I'm, I was a church children's faster. I love talking to kids and I love how so double. They are too. To wit and end to evil evil, really is what it comes down to sell I'm I'm stuck in the back of a car one day. Parents were front talking to the pastor. The parents were missionaries and so I had a missionary kid emissions kids are different. The normal kids there, a little bit like home, school kids, were their data. No everything,
you know about America, Merrick is kind of a foreign land to them, and so anyway, I'm back there and I'm playing, plants, first zombies, An hey man, you you wanna, do you want to try? This sounds pretty cool game any says? Oh! No! No! I'm I'm not allowed to play at my. Why says my mom says I can't play anything with skeletons in it and just It came out of my mouth before I could even stop. I said you know you ve got a skeleton in you guys, like you like, he was down like you or delete over to his mom and gas. Gasteropoda me movement So I got him. I gotta get Chesterton he's gonna lie in our science golden in defence of the skeleton Jake
hey, Chesterton, well, her. I do think it's funny that the things that parents want latch onto like you can't play anything with death. But did you I'll just my reminded, but the G get Chesterton. There definitely need a third, turn you haven't. I do. I think I like the random skeletons. That's that's where we draw the line the yeahs generally skeletons are bad for your body. I gotta to go school sticker out of one of those. Like me, twenty five cent sticker machines. Its restaurant, you know. My dad I go, I go see I added I was out what shows from. I know why you I want to stick her to stick. I scholars tee and get it like five or something and he's like work its very essence used to say as a satanic symbol outright Canada I was like Pentecostal up and Cyber for a long time it I've been wondering why they are selling satanic, Maggie
having propaganda and a pizza. Restaurant two children not understand like, because that that was literally like there's a company of satanists, and they sticker impedes the restaurant than theirs. Anyone out there that are really into Satanism their buying the stickers. If you do by lower those put it all back, your car and drive like a maniac barrage circle little help you have to play with kids who had skull stickers. Sorry, we we wouldn't have enabled been friends worth. Do few that girl I go, get me like a couple. An finale stories here and then we're gonna go to the subscriber portion. Read some subscriber definitely needs more random stories to sew it as well It can be done. Treasure nod and can be when everything are your best here,
I am- and I have to go with a mom story, I promised why I want to store. My mom is an interesting lady and I can do her voice absolutely perfectly else. It always comes in handy. She comes to visit she at least once every two years for your very realistic use declaring from the south where you're from like the word. I am, I up in South Georgia North Florida, and had the accident in the whole thing, and you have been trainers, a triple wide trailer to trailers, and then he added on and we just cut holds between a rain, poured down the Uno ACT. You just go on and on your toes into my shell, from our power may style at This one in particular were were grown. I'm married, I got kids she's communism grandma visit and she hands out some jerk. I got some jerky that are made and,
we're trying now in its it's really stringy adage dry, but I be rude at this point, I don't you You think this war and makes any more, but at the time at the time I was being lies in my wife was eating a little bit and it was just so gross and so dry and almost straight to the point of being like fibers in Harry, The medium You I would turn you didn t and I you eat it. So the sheep. She suddenly goes by the way cookie died and I have to tell you
Cookie, is this little dog of hers she had for years. It way was a Yorkshire terrier. Anyplace was nine hundred years old. It had no teeth its tongue out of its mouth, because the only thing wholly dodged on is its teeth under her bed like gallop. You come out here. In this European on my wouldn't it be like my mom too, to take dead dog and put it on the DE her and make us didn't take long for hate that we have for this animal. During your mom. I could believe it some sometimes right now. So
so you know immediately made my wife is tearing up. I didn't get it at all, but the James Hurrying, kooky jerky. My turn back door, it's like she took its nasty mummified body, put her on a bacon, slicer unjust sliced on jogs. Up now because the dog was so daddy was dried out before it will breed this last. Where is already out of his own ready cookie is already be. I drafted in exile gap cookies. Could he died? just the timing of Mary thing. It was just ass. It was just really wrong. I don't know, I think I'd really ate a dead dog. Probably Jim reconfirmed nor denied.
We never asked her. I was too afraid it's questions. You don't want you answer to, because I've already commented on already eaten the dead dog yeah no point of yes, you should just quickly rattle off a few of the religious things. Your mother would teach you the child labour reasonings and begin. First of all, she was very religious and pentecostal charismatic, actually part of the word, a faith movement where, if you had a faith in a good confession, you can get anything you want it didn't. Just like christian science anyway, I emetics about every three months. She was sitting down with a big listed demons and cast devils out of us. Now is always a lot of fine. It's you would have us looking around in the eye and she would say devils go make you want to look away. You spare the rebellion right now. I command you name. It Jesus come out my side and
are you the shades of sound like pastimes? I use more exact cattle, come out here. Man, that's what I learned to do. Real quick was to yawn alive That was how the demons came down. You have asked it sometimes to narrow, spat. I've been ya, know I am a man, the bigger the young and the bear the demon beyond in and have your head. Do a full tricks, three six them. All that helps some ten years now, and so I was always clean. The problem I worry about is she never filled with space with anything in the Bible, you cast a demon out. It goes out for a while, and then it gathers up seven more comes back. Fighting the house swept clean. So I was
gathered up. Seven more comes back fighting the house swept clean, so I was just a hostile asked him in any pigs anything and how do you manage she's sentiment, a cookie so long TAT, Sally demons are coming back on the stereotypes like you did. You know you got that stereotype of the like really religious mom, like TAT, can carrier. I don't know the water boy or whatever that near that. Actually this debate is my mom made that woman. Especially in misery for some reason, really knew my movement. Your legs do in these days, James there there there hobbled by its ok, my confession is, is is clear: now we weren't allowed Watch Scooby do cause or monsters in it.
We were allowed watch Smurfs because they were all homosexuals Jargonelle than we are developing, never created without you, they were blue, which symbolise death because then the color, you would turn when you die, apparently, which I dont believe that's the case for like Sapphire Blue letter I want to watch these three ban and the masters of the universe, but there's no master the universe. James. I've heard that one before going towards got a school for faith, that's the attack, Now I never got to get that far. I never met skeletal or the baggage as the ministers or that of click. It turned out that the council now has lowered masters the the last one I am is, is is of my favorites, we'll watch and titanic envy age
and- and it gets the Harvard draw me like point of your french girls, Serbia and camera pans up her body and its about again to the good parts on our part, but my mall in the room anyway, it's to get to the good parts and all of a sudden sandy patty on this extremely hard,
and recorded whatever was on tv and was always on in her house in so many parts erratic. You know any inside years shuttling should I. Why should I was psychological issues like every time you see Cindy Patty now I'd like to do if you live in a marriage, is there any more children? If that helps we had of EU just type of Beethoven? Second, and there's a party where dog There is a saying by Ireland so not no symphony and enable us to a party and they drink and and we watching every time we would get to that party with switch to Gilligan's island customer has recorded over at the party. Man now
now, every time he takes a gilligan them. They discover because industry whisky that same here, yeah, I'm pretty amazed that I'm a christian all or I always try to remember that, because my parents, you it was a mess with the world. How to teach me my religion so is try, remember my kids like I was. There's no reason. I should still be a christian baseline, what they did, get him. I was writing I give a headache, and I pray my mom would pray for me. I was allowed to take tylenol because that would be a lack of faith Yahoo near where I trade, though demon binary Doorn manner. How are we ready to
some scrambridge line. We like that's. Why should I brought up there? my pizza story in this part, or, should I say subscribers only I hope we will be having teasing us with his eyes. Do we need a subscriber portion get people to pay its the ultimate gallery gas or they need to go back and find them? You guys back asked, or else I told your mullet already it is. It's called fresh needs, a fox reiterating their gates free. What did you say? I dont know angle that guy was a whiz waffle when you do this whistle who was a classic by them best. I capsizing ever I've told that story here, because an update on that story. I decided I wanna attempt doing stand comedy my very first night doing open MIKE. I had a whole thing about that story. There was waffle story My failure was that I got about two minutes into my story and all I had debt as basic confess that I too a roomful of strangers that IP, the Ben Ali up through high school. That's it
I'm a ran out and I never got to the funny part actively seed and shame. There is room of strange, just knew that I just went back. I plead his bed until he was a nice girl. Rounded! Never do you know that. Yeah, I guess we do. Is there a way? Is there a good one for story that we can make. Let me Let me see I sometimes titles that are definitely make me into action. Tell the one my first story on the show: if you want to go for it, so
I grew up in church. Also, my mom wasn't quite the one that that James this was ok. You know we we will. I was allowed to watch masters of the universe and and and stuff like that. So when we were always in church, I grew up like I think I was born on Saturday in church on Sunday that kind of thanks. I was Randy Travis Song Room Why not laws are near motion. They began a nice we should do. We should put that we should make that form. Maybe we can get some royalties but one thing I'm known about? I guess maybe on the show is I personally I think that farts you're funny you're known one of you, they meant any kind of sad, because if people there, me and pollyanna you're, the fort boy, so fortunate is a podcasting people, don't see my face by job
but my my it's always funny to me- and I don't know why. God made their sounded. If it's a warning for something that's bad to come, maybe that's why God did it, but I was in church one one time in high school and I we sat in the back and I went to a Pentecostal church James and I went to church together. He wasn't there for this particular incident Sannella where you're that Sunday night James, where, where area farting, that's why I'm not I was- I was in church and it was dates- would sit in the back with my friend Jason Housing
it was building up and I, like you know, we get allowed. Preacher, probably be fine. If I just let one go and dumb, and so I said my fringes- hey man, I gotta- I got a rip when you think I should do it and he wasn't even paying attention. We just cause shook his head. You know, I think he was zone, doubt something half awake inside as Ireland do it. So I leaned over a little bit in mind you this is an old, would church with wood panels and the pews are not necessarily would but they there's some. The qualities that they still maintain and dump the pastor was going Hughes preaching about something you is a site, and God send this amount of money which is going on at this is this is opportune, so I leaned over- and I just I thought I'd squeak out a little bit. It didn't it wasn't little though it was ignored, I mean it just reverberated and as the moment as the two was slipping past, its final exit, the pastor stopped
and so what I heard it was different, went to church heard soon pastors, nor I suddenly and then he's pauses and then hear goods through the room in my mom, who is sitting in the front of the church, slowly turns or head and looks. Back in a million bucks, a kind of with me can see in her eye that she was somewhat proud, but also very narrow and the island. In church since then so I still do go to church in life every time. Somebody when we add on one arm, pastor do, and so you can always that arm, that good arm would be up in the air to him would be wavin to that little stock or he would raise up a famous story and our families that are
My uncle, who is not a christian Kaliko I wasted, Biker Mountain Bird man like you, lives up in the mountains and he has all the birds and eagles and stuff. He's. A long hair need like has always cars it's crazy mountain man? Well, I guess he was in a church, We use these older using adult, but a young adult or something the famous is that it was a long moments, silence or prayer and he won doubt anymore stand. Turnip excise tax name in vain did shouted search, never never return Chopin your horse, and this is what you do to blame. God very likely atheist story may be pardoned church?
there never was made to mad note, Where do you mean I'm a version where a bigger, proving to be a little bit more fart stories and other stories to end, to keep his ball rolling, read some subscriber stories you eat the rest, you. For joining us view, enjoy. Story show these guys you are more of it. That's very show dot com. Or what would you do that soy showed outcome? Look us up in Itunes or whatever your favorite podcast, or sold its free and its spine, and We'd love to area. Wait right! Bye, bye, bye
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Transcript generated on 2020-08-07.