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Bonus Bugle - He's the greatest diver

2019-07-17
Andy has some Olympic classics, global warming archive and a recent story about soccer cows

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
The Bugle Audio newspaper a visual work, how welcome to be before thousand one hundred and forty and some others see daddy. You see, I am Andy's ice me, but if it wasn't for this moment of our debate, so I count myself very fancy. So what the seed of it you see have stand for one. It is not, as you more reason, we think an acronym describing the two candidates in the Tory leadership: the precedent of America state of global democracy in general gusto. Nor is it a welsh village. Nor is it the sequence of animals eaten by Henry the aid for the bugs down working lunch in the fifteen thirties written again in Akron, inform chicken wildebeest crocodile flamingo. Now in fact see W C. F stands for Cricket World CUP final, which happens tomorrow as our record,
possibly today, as you listen to this, maybe even right now or yesterday, or the dim and distant past when hope still how to humanity, delete as its England versus music on the Lloyd's of London with me, and the BBC commentary bucks trying very hard to suppress the urge to shout holy shit if you the ten year old Andy's ultimately be doing as we would have dissolve instantaneously into a pool of quivering incredulity, so England and his announcement to delete according to when you were listening to this, our strong rifle pre, much favorites, jumping to a glorious, patriotic dine Bio might easily Magna Carta Ass, growing things up oil in the grand tradition of english sport. Having a defining moment, drowned out by some granite so ship around. For me, like a musical vomit hopped out This idea, with mounting volume at almost all sporting events, in an effort to crush any sense of generous and to compensate for reasons no one in the universe, can adequately explained or have just one the World CUP and multinationals, innovation, so joys than it is
Potentially reversed breaks it and lead to every single child in Britain becoming a lifelong obsessional cricket round are solving all problems in the world. So anyway, I've been somewhat talk about with my other job this week. So instead of a full bugle in which I would have been to a hundred twenty percent distracted by cricket, which of course is eight percent more than in the average wage and fretting obviously about one of the highlights of my career with all due respect to the king. I did with an issue more at the end of a large about ten years ago. Instead, we have a sub bugle cornucopia of Bugle EC, treats in the recent past the knots recent past and the unending bottomless well of lies about voluntary subscribers. Let's start with these it's from the holy sanctuary, that is the bugle cutting room floor for chunks that would too damn hot to be broadcast at the time in the other animal news web. India has a new football star, Tasker activity that is correct in the state of Gore. Some kids will play football. The Indian Express reports
Ass kids play football on the streets of India. The pool accidentally found itself near the cap. We ve got a bunch of children. Gleeful body got about gauss, apparently how was excellent football player, did not let the ball go I'll be files. So social, indian viral sensation is not as worrying a sentence at this point in history as it might have been pre internet slang way. Viral sensation was usually accompanied by a rash and overall meeting like Japanese in civilised of spanish flu its factly exactly this. This part was going out before penicillin a of problems. The indian football coach, beach allergy, one watching the video of the power play football. said, he's an excellent drew blow up.
It's impossible to tackle him ways? I see for go on he's better than I do. All messy would probably most famous footballer ever to come out with you put inside, raising the go. There are real a veritable Karl Heinz ruminants. We ve been having a really diet, as you guys know, qualifying for the World CUP which humans, perhaps we ve, got more cows than any other country in the world because we worship them. So I think we have an equally valid jobs with eleven cows, on the cows are sacred creatures. I would be very much like messy playing in the Spanish League Goodbye,
I was very, very good in the penalty. Diarrhoea gunning for lucrative, moved around Madrid by the managing migration has gotta stomachs for the thought. I don't worry. I worry where this is going. To be honest, I mean in five years time happened: coming phonemes with cow football fans, moaning on about how Ermintrude is not to it in the herd would be better off with daisy. The holding the failure of the snow man went well oh I've storm now its thirteen of July today is our record in the year. Is twenty nine Jane? You don't need me a rocket scientist. I know that, but it could so easily have been thirteenth of August twenty twelve as it once was, of course, and that coincide with the end of another big sporting event in London, the London two thousand and twelve Olympics of London, two thousand and twelve ever forget, and there are some of my reflections from bugle issue. Two hundred and four recorded that very week, allow buglers Andy Affair the curse of the bugle has struck again ask is
previous to last week. I have compared myself to zero olympic divers it more like last week. I myself to water limping diver, the german Stefan FAC, who, according to the internet, is I'm hygiene. Wages made my point being technically. Have the body of an olympic diver just throw away common Andy, just a joke no, how mental dumb and the first and only mention of staff, in fact, in the history of the bee, will so far completely honest, almost never imagining bringing up please name again, however, days later on, they literally days later or witness. Stefan fake trump offer three major Diving board spit in the air, lose control of his legs and land flat out these black. What what outlet described As- and I quote, a devastating backward belly flop wage would you, farmers are personally concerned. Andy is complemented by
spectacular as a dive Andy, it was a feast for the senses because it wasn't just how it looked was how it sounded the crack of a maid, naked body, smashing into the unforgiving surface of the water. Is a gift to the east is praise you when you add the wounds of the crowd and the wind being physically smacks of seven Vex chest was a symphony of playing about scolded candy, zero point zero across the board from the judges. Are you kidding Keating may I would I watched the same Die Valley was because I saw a man reinventing the sport of diving before my eyes and important report of the judges. Looking for another general there, looking it grace through the air entry into the water with his little splash is possible. What if someone gives you the opposite of that count. All save about has no value on the well.
nothing also we're gonna, say clearly, staff fact The big bugle listener data last week that you and I have exactly the same body S. He is now dived. Like you would have died, that's that's true, but you probably got an extra one and a half tonnes in Brazil in terms of the entry of basically right, I really think you wearing and what would journal overdue bracelet did say of look it up on Youtube. Again is definitely worth a look. I do think it right to the point of the oil sea needs to seriously looking to changing the judging requirements for diving milk, as they should be points available for the funding us over dive
just a subjective as any of the other, judging criteria, the chinese divers, for instance, and we'd absolutely magnificent this year, but not very funny. I would love to hear comments. I d say well, Tobias Chantelle of Belgium. Up next he's gonna be attempting. I have some assault with a single panic to leg kick for by two and a half screams of all shades before landing. Five first into the water they die puts actually has a high degree of Venus theory goes, I nailed it standing dive. Judges are in hysterics, our kids. They want pounding the table, they love. The virus is helpful. Semi conscious out of the water, with one of his testicles, now visible at the core of its leaders. Let this stuff from the belgian those areas. Belarus is a kind of cartoon towards charge you at the end of a board hanging Meda looking downwards and then just plummeting straight into the water
Let's get diving back to its roots. Think Stephan fact has given the world one of the most memorable moments on the two thousand and twelve will impact on the wood. You all be grateful. He's very name should become a descriptive term in the english language. From now on doing I Stefan fact should describe failure, something so spectacularly, but you actually do something more incredible thing you originally intended to do in the first place. Of course, look his name did not help with a story they won't. British newspaper ran with the headline of fact, with the closure of hitting. The wards are perfectly horizontal one hundred eighty degrees they in doing so passed up the opportunities to go if wholly fac or german diver in huge fuck up fucking hell. That must have like frank Amazingly everyone has had as Think deeply. Joy is a response to this. I
the german swimming legend and fought on gold medal s role in matters. Have we criticized fact called him shameful, unworthy. a Roland. I tell you how many dogs or member from this Olympics is worn, Roland, Stephan, facts dive and let me tell you how many jobs or member from your entire career Roland zero. In fact, I didn't even know you're a diver until I read that court from you about step. In fact who I have of course means that guy did the funniest dive thinks history with all due respect to Gregg Lagoon, I just do it it's a good boy. Now I just don't think critically gone. We choose to call it because it was concrete horrifying. Only recently was already does bring. Only was the free media springboard sharing, or was it really the arctic? If any concrete one
I'm not sure he'd have recovered in time. In the final, the point is. I am truly proud that we trumpeted Stefan fact even before he done anything worth trumpeting, and I would like to now declare formerly Stefan factually official three major dive of the people. In fact out the office of the bee, who should join sponsor him at the next world, diving without being on the sole condition that he do exactly that again: also in the microbial on Thursday morning. I predict that use aim, but would, when the two hundred and nineteen point three three seconds and and what did it amongst their own three to wall? Pretty close, you're calling Jackson, Diego S, so but more so ugly and
I've never screwed up an olympic final located wants not once that loser the full well title winning loser. likely. There was also a thirteenth of July, two thousand and nine, which of course, was exactly ten years ago by coincidence, and there was a bugle then to bugle eighty one to be precise, which contains the most appropriate ever number for a bugle John because says I'm sure a million The turkish speaking. Lessons will be able to tell us eighty one Turkish. Well, like you want, but is pronounced sex and bare and set timber. What's what we're all about? I jump spell that's what he's talking about votes are we accordingly Audio loves MIKE market. I want out one of the world Saturday, the eleventh of July this year of costly, two hundred and Fiftyth anniversary, of the dual between Ehrenberg and Alexander Hamilton, just
you Jersey, just across the water from where you are now John typing, pitching at each other for years. Of course, Burma in the stomach until finally, they light it all out one July morning in New Jersey, we're doing People still legal. It was already illegal in New York City bottle. Now, thanks to the liberal left, pretty much legal now is tolerated. Now, there's a lot of street fighting in Jersey reforms. I could not help me, I think, dealing, enough is what people enjoy. Who am I to tell them how to live and unfair life, but that we should put this June in perspective? The bird Hamilton children? That's for sure, vice presidents and a former treasury secretary, that's the modern, equivalent Joe Biden and Hank Balsam dressing squaring up in a cage and smart. each other on the head with kitchen chosen to one of them comes out that both benefit in this area, they discovered a transcript from the original tv commentary of the Bird Hamilton Jewel from eighteen, forty, for this. I would welcome supervises Hamilton Pistol, the dorm, oh for what
Yes, we have here the little forty eight year old, vice president's from right here in New Jersey and forty nine year old ones on treasuries, at grand Federalism found who is relatively pay with real trash talking regionally that's what broken big showdown in our world. We tuning in so watch its Jim They form a hearing on Jewel in Germany's with me in the car boxes find New Jersey morning how Jim Tony and what a pleasure it is to hear if what promises of an excellent jewel between these very eminent gentlemen, so Jim, what are attacked, it's gonna be well. Let's see if that happens. I walked away from each other now and Hamilton while he looked like swimming to constitute all but are not very spot. It will not rise up one of those things but quite close to him. Well, both are gonna lie. That's already now Hamilton could live to regret that or not good points. Good points, don't bullshit is learning about. Now the filed governing your candidate, let's go out the Julian on the jewel in ground Tony. separate of annex two s cross went down. There is one thing, but will be looking to I'm just too Hamiltons left and just what the breeze drifted bullet back into all the torso. So there comes a shot,
yeah he's got guns, gonna cricket and apply to worry about, makes almost like a pretty serious injury that Jim yeah sets or if it shot from air, and there is really beautiful. That was what you feel. We have vital one for Alex if I'm not much mistaken voted yes in that, could roll hovels another running for future political office on one record in his head to head with all rival. Where is really gotta stay and birds gonna check going over to check how Hamilton Age, where its painful a tremendous bury this dual Jim lovely moment. There is the lead, the scene Sony Lens over his lungs, I'm anime put someone is now waggle. This ring is stuck his tongue out, a blue, the guy rod busy lay mortally wounded, Super Starfleet, embodied satisfaction boy. Did he get its animals Hamilton's death, on which we are still awaiting confirmation, we'll be doubly ironic, of course, as his son also died in a Jew. Just three years ago, Jim has been a pleasure calling if I'm with you until Jonathan assigned to our next week, but President Tommy teach I Jefferson against
felt tat his wife, and why has this go last week and that you, MIKE history, so accessible and inaccurate only M J, P Tyler denotes your in commemoration of a famous supper, Hamilton Jewel, we are giving you, the population is one half of an. The old dueling kit came up with a a bugle listener and five sound effects at each other like each other off when they first challenge. Solitude Yola meets with your pupils at six, a m some open ground as well. Some sections of evil, going shrine of industry guy some sunburn fashioned section symbolical of cheaper than a tattoo less governance, but still painful and wait I'll do the best cut out shaped stupid, nobody this summer, while sunbathing to give your funky but interesting pile by John you otherwise burnt torso designs available include popular tattoo style favorite such as a bird a little start some orient text of absolutely no relevance to you. A naked women changing the current job,
I'm a vintage reciting governing the carcass of a canoe. The opening trooper infringed. battle of April Sherlock Holmes likeness most during a mouse and a silhouette of the Iraq Legends white snake living in a menu outside a Chinese take away and been to Bugle straight talk such section new words drop into your hip conversations this summer. These words on growth, relic fluke, Hackmen, scuse, commending and present. use them. As you see, Fritz is now additives, Virgil, Symbolics, waiting to see how people react and then work out what I mean also backing exactly ten years ago. Would you believe the world was scribbling and squabbling about global warming? Ass reported exclusively self. Same episode of the bugle felt for this week, G height,
for the rest, o Andy Michael Jackson, wanted us to heal the world. He was pretty clear about lax in between boy five hundred thousand dollars. Thousands furs irresponsibly large house and this week, as they ve, been tribute solution now probably right as weak as they think tribute to him, but crucially, not the G8 leaders of the world gathered together in ITALY to discuss how to improve the planet. That's right in ITALY, meaning that the whole of the G8 was none other the beagle favoured slapstick politician at a man who, to put it mildly,
it simply not. Fates are governed. Silvio Berlusconi are now you're thinking Berlusconi's hosting the g eyes. There is definitely going to buy a strip of, sadly not they saw Sylvia had to curb these Caligula log instincts due to the region. Controversial Bryce, linking him to sleeping with prostitutes allegedly respond to these allegations silver tongue. Silvio gave an interview to a magazine he owned and said that he would never have done a thing, not paying a prostitute because- and I quote of never understood what satisfaction there his other than that of conquering a woman of sediment for outside again he's Paul Paul soon to be acts he's treating fifty one percent of the world's population like his own personal white, while it essentially aggressive captain, I have tool in the high seas. Looking for the next conquests, I think should be thankful jungle circles, his
sister and producer Julius Caesar. I wasn't much interned in conquering women as conquering continents, and maybe it's good that Sylvia was slowly just drawn in his sites in the fair sex. You might have a point there, you don't, but you and I we naturally cause Berlusconi's opinion polls amongst its having electorate, have remained high through the latest prostitution scandal. Of course I have because it talons are their own. Worst nationals carry out these particular G8 summit. I was notable for a number of reasons, chief amongst them being that this was a bombers. First g eight became powerless colony chose to make him feel at home by getting a private basketball net outside is private quarters at lucky. That should be nothing other than a lovely gesture. He knows that President Obama likes to play basketball every day and is providing an outlet for that. But why is it that? Because I come from violence Godaddy you justice,
it's a bit right, that's the thing with Berlusconi, discoloured distracting attention away from the real business John, which wasn't sir banging prostitutes, but was attempting to stop global warming. A few can indeed separate the two philosophically dost thou know whether prostitution contribution to all detract proud, overwhelming on social issues. Are the real situation will look, and I I don't think that benefits it there's. There are better ways to sleep in the process in a more green manner. I might just chamber for prostitution existed. The environment was actually much better than it is now that much easier and less of a minute scientific me last night by break size, the of this profession in the world, and they say you going back on along what yeah there's still a fact. I cannot deal with facts. You can't what effect will is. Gonna bought you in the face and he was again York of using facts with a use feel once once again you're walking into emu enclosure with peanut butter on what direction
you look global warming targets to attempt to hate welled up by two degrees by twenty. Fifty, I believe, is the new targets or limits Haiti on other aims, aids it up by two of something that has a maximum. comes a saving the world s most of us would say: is it worth? It was supposed to a spare a job in the neck now not have well to live in these days just want those things in the world carnival colony without it, but we have set up an ambitious targets of getting carbon. out but down by eighty percent by twenty five for developing countries, but that we know interim targets set John as we know the human soul it programme to work to deadlines yourself, the old is anything like me. I'm good I am part of the world I see no reason why it shouldn't be exactly like me reluctantly, the cat, If the world is not made everyone until October, twenty forty nine,
and then stopped fanatically charging helping any emissions are confirmed in a desperate effort to get some when there is talk it. Having spent the previous forty one years, thinking about doing some stuff check in its eighty miles sing if it can make a profit gambling against itself ongoing, tossing and just generally trying on slippers over and over again now- and you have a problem- is not making strives to resolve that problem. So this was an answer. a bomb was first experience of being a full member of the G8 and they do sound like superheroes, the G8 obey the. If that were the case, that would be the most inactive superheroes ever created We superheroes with undeniably impressive powers, but it used to sit
around all day with each other, a remote summits talking about how they definitely intend to use their power for good one day, but how it is impractical to put a date on when that day, my pay at this time. The main thing you need to be able to do these summits is what first took a good game going then resolve absolutely nothing in the ludicrous short term provided and they most importantly, pronounced the whole thing off towards a huge success by that yardstick apartment it very well,
At its first attempt, he went in determined to build a consensus on reducing carbon emissions, came up against China and India telling him through slightly polarity translators to basically go. I'm came out with a commitment that global temperatures should not rise more than two degrees celsius above nineteen hundred levels, Agar so often Andy, it all comes down to words. They should not rise more than two degrees. They should not. Obviously they should not disagree with that, but that does not mean crucially, they cannot must not, or indeed will not. I should not attempt to juggle with three point apples, love something kerosene and set fire to we should not hold out for many reasons, but you notice their Dobbin very careful not to promise the dog definitely want or Gordon Brown had some some big words for the world. Yet he said at these words, the world has now agreed that
scientific evidence on climate change is compelling someone with might it no that's the important thing I got no, except that you have a problem, if I do say achievable goal, that's right at what he's done their unease even how to make them ten years old village, all sorted right that you should be able for this week. Also, a quick note, my item, professed will show, will now be satirist for higher deeply uncontrolled said, show that I was planning to do well above controls at its until an unspecified future date. Do too time constraints. Instead, I will, Taking your commission's for a special run of satirists for higher Blindfold Clifford Unicorn Bricks, it Britain bogus Prime Minister democracy, latin american elections, Cricket woke up general state of the well specials. Please send your requests to the usual satirist for high address saccharine this etc I dont come the shovel beyond this
and from the thirteenth does a twenty four. The bogus there will also be political animal shows. Most nights passed to life bugles do come to see. All of those shows Andy shows of my bugle co host, who will also be at the fringe until night week made, cricket, be with you on that. from New Zealand, in which case I wish you nothing but hard. I can find the sorry I mean made the best anyone, but which is England time to buy at any time, on a tradition with the law is about all voluntary subscribers to join them. Support the people to remain fully independent, an advert free go to the website, the Beagle Pugwash dot com and click the donate button Chris music. Please Adam
found reckons Antarctica should be spread equally between all the people of the world, with over seven billion people currently residing on this planet that works out at a bit on the half, an acre of Antarctica each, which Adam thinks we really ought to be able to look after ourselves. Phil DDT once tried to demonstrate a triple Sancho. Ice skating went over in a China shop causing two and a half thousand pounds worth of broken porcelain and a six month banned from anywhere selling, crockery or figurines time and a place filled, live and learn well. This is only ever managed a bunch press to benches. At the same time, there was location in his local park when he was pressing to benches with his hands and reached out to touch a third bench with his toes be doesn't thank you got enough downward pressure for into account as a bench press. I must piss off by an angry granddad message across to the tree back to a garden scent of fifteen years after buying it there, because the leaves kept falling off around October November time only to discover that history without a warrant. A trace, of course, only come with a standard tenure, warranty Philpotts.
Admires what the roman army achieved, but reckons they would be vulnerable to raise more advanced military hardware. Even with that trade, total formation, but then again, things filled with today's airforces coat with Roman. I refuse Nope almost an old reckons. If all cars had lawnmower attachment of some kind, we wouldn't need road. We could just Of course, freshly mon fields instead clever just thinks that the next time Britain has to choose new prime minister. It might lead to consider one of the following options: public vote of some kind hurrying someone from overseas who might bring some objectivity and expertise of the job, not bothering origin using tennis presented supermarket. I mean why not then fall. It is collect. My how excited everyone gets about birds being supposedly descended from dinosaurs, given how much shit, they often the t Rex and all the Stag Azores, anonymous tone, initials em. All who is famously one of several women who has never been to space, also design the world's first soluble submarine.
to find a use for it. It is, however, technically very impressive, and finally, John Gill, fill in is unconvinced by the theory of an espoused by sports pundits that the winning team simply wanted more a conclusion he reached after losing a swimming race against a dolphin whom he reckoned quotes, didn't really give a shit but lost a victory anyway. If the lies.