The Bugle Audio newspaper a visual world two thousand and seventy will be remembered as the day the factories flows, rusted out factories and the drugs and the gangs. These are just righteous people. This is your celebration, your voice, your hooks, and you dream stops right in here and stops right now at the centre of this move trillions and trillions of dollars. We will get our people radical islamic terrorism for everyone,

follow. We will rediscover. There is no room for God. We ve enriched far in industry, it's going to be only ladies and gentlemen, we remained standing by the presidents, and official party depart the platform you will be released by sections shortly. B and welcome to the first bugle of the rest of your lives, which of course, is true of all bugles what particularly this one, because this is Four thousand an unlucky, thirteen for the weak, ending it's Wednesday that generate only seventeen. We are recording just an hour or so after Donald Trump declined. The chance to complete the biggest prank in human history was saying,

because I didn't mean it. I'm oversee, not a presidential candidates. You should see the low, so your faces is monkey paid to do the job the climate Jones, and therefore we have president from an yes all do mongers du monde among those were always fine. He's been president now for one look at my watch now submitted two hours, and nuclear war now divine strike from the Heavens, no mass global recession and no species ending conflict is fine or concerns were unjustified money one and I fled struggle if people to New Zealand just to be safe news aid and of course, I entirely the nation least likely to end up in a nuclear stand off or fully fledged ground war with drums America. Holding a special immediately post evaluation special show for me, Google secrets from proof bunker. Thousand miles beneath the earth's crust which We certainly want to just to elaborate on the eight thousand miles beneath the earth's crust in New Zealand is just.

Of ground level in London when just a tiny bit of straight through them really hope in the middle. So here I am Paolo Chris necessity. It is two plus two hours of this and we are calling in the immediate, after globally, vigorously carnal confirmation of the arranged marriage of the United States of America and President Private himself, joining me from Seattle. It is a man who is firmly in these seventy percent minority of Americans, who would probably rather had a fossilized mammoth shit as commander in chief until I can eddies rekindle bolo, hello, hello, Andy Hollow our eyes always seem get you on the show at among, where you are so upset with what is happening in the world's well. That's not even the act of speech seems of heroic well it's, because you keep asking me about the american election, every Enzo. As a result, I am always going to be glum and Preston

questioning a lot of things about this country, it's never had a biologist, a quick side thing which I will is ridiculous. Could we just started but a few people who are for of Angela Buell message me saying that their sick of me talking about american politics that they Want me to talk about a broader range of things which frustrates me because since the Trump election we're talking about potential nuclear annihilation of the world. We are talking about like global chaos and war like. Why would I talk about anything else like that's like watching independence day and then all the sun, some one in the films? Like I'm sorry, of all this alien stuff. When are we going to talk about the football season we harvest is you're off your third third show, and I got you want just before the election just off the election aroma too,

the inauguration, correct soft. Limited hereafter next time I'll get you wanna, get you to talk only about European toll Galvin, that will govern our language. Is that a person very good, very good? I got em so you are in your in Seattle, which is basically physically as far I from Trump, as you can get in the United States, yet without guy going either to Hawaii, which, as we learn from Trump himself Journal Birth control, to see about America, Parma actually being a man from someone out limestone. That's actually not America at all that will the birth has told us all to Alaska which, as I speak in vote, just have confirmation on the news was Trump has just given Alaska Russia is a gesture of goodwill, has just begun. His wireless what you biting go too far away from

comes out with Donald Trump, as you could convulsively manage without leaving America I'm in a liberal bunker, I feel fail safe This is a place where I'm sure Mommy Mumia Abu Jamal Thea Black Panther who's been in prison for decades, probably got the third most votes President during the last election Pennywell. I'm huge grateful for you for joining joining us someone. There must be a very difficult time. William take some time off from what I know is a very, very busy schedule of slamming to your head in your own hands, weeping and screaming. Why? Why why this is Beagle, two thousand and thirteen for the week beginning the twenty third of January. Twenty seventeen key anniversary, this one three zero years since the twenty? Third of January twenty seventeen President Donald Trump for the first time used the words What do you mean you want me to encourage? Is my fucking football off can play with it, as always is

Another needle is going straight in the Bin this week. All avenues in the world is going in. The Bin including Teresa my the leader of the conservative gentle, currently occupying the Palace of Westminster and ten Downing Street and refuse believe later, how versions of its which was great or rubbish? delete according to whether you already agreed or disagree with her. I hastened a story in the Bin half of the world's primate species face extinction according to scientists, could humans be one of those species we reveal all and our exclude if all we on the brink of extinction, analysis- and let me just open the envelope now, if on so in the Bin. I free personalized oath for you to sway yourself ends whatever you want to sway or self into, so you can just

Tyler S according to your own lifestyle choices, I filling your name and any titles or honorific say, do suddenly stroke, threateningly stroke smoothly, stroke, tearfully, stroke chillingly swear that I will faithfully, execute the office of king of May land, stroke impressive. I survey stroke new lead singer of humans. Hermits struck chief dude stroke do that of the cool brigades. Stroke President of the United States and will to the best of my ability, stroke, as much as I can be, asked stroke if absolutely necessary stroke unless anyone else so, instead of me, reserve protect and defend my lovely dog struck the situation of the after lunch news, stroke that nice China plates my grand guide me for Christmas, when I was small, They want your own oath. You can feel like Trump for a dime that section in the bank

Tom story, it isn't pretend it's real. Reality STAR Donald Trump present. Of the United States, for a while there I thought per as the mines were right. And we all died in two thousand and twelve. As predicted, This is just to Hell and I actually would prefer this being hell then realize LISA Foreign Hell. It makes some kind of sense this sum up. Else, I'm starting to think that, although celebrities, the dying twenty, sixteen new what's going to happen, and they got out of you are just that- I feel it. They were clued in somehow. It was. It was awful. Watching the inauguration, he looked scared to death. He looked frightened the whole way. If I felt

Brok was holding his hand through the beginning till he got there We are looking into the crowd: lots of red hats, Lothar, Redhead the crowd there, let's make Amerika great again trump me killing all the inauguration. I never thought that lead being present would be a financial Boone during the inauguration of that happened. Basically, I was seeing a crowd with a bunch of people who think that man can turn back time and stop the flood of progress. But on a positive note, Andy, I might my business of selling magic beans, again. Ah Alaska clasp of out of business alas, my oh yeah me- I haven't done that since they started selling me Iraq war to Americans on like this is the beans their up for it. I was in trade. The fact that when he swore the oath He was using already was used,

President Lincoln's inauguration, Bible and yet miraculously here. And did not dissolve on contacts with Abraham Lincoln's Bible says that that could have been a prosthetic and might have some special special Garden Lincoln Proofs. Some say: I'm an avian been his own flesh. Surely despair of Lincoln would have we'll be annihilated, it wasn't Lincoln's Bible, adding away they they probably hereat. Make sure he wouldn't destroy and also based on the golden showers. Rumours. I dont think that would be the right thing. That is let us say american artifact we can't have. Strangers urine forum urine at that all over the Lincoln Viable right. A little of the american urine from now on for Trump, please gaze, he's gotta, keep those activities. I'm sure there was a copy of Playboy tucked into the Bible

it was a quick tip for buglers. Do not repeat, do not read out later script of trumps. Inauguration speech in a german axis The absolute absolutely do not do not even for from that you just don't just especially not the debates. We assembled here today and on issuing a new decree to be heard in every city, in every foreign capital and in every hole of power, for stay forward, a new vision. The lessons from this forward it's going don't do that. Do not the temptation, I feel I feel I feel dead inside Oh did you do the german impression already cause? That's how I heard I thought that was all it's, not ok,

he kept saying America first, which When have we not been to his leg thought of our world, we kept. That was like the the key phrase. A merry the first For me was weird because it was like strange to hear a preview of the words that will be said to me during a hate crime. Oh that's gonna, be ok! It's not just me. You say, USA It's a merit, further thought. It was some as a north american oversee. I have no right to hold an opinion on your democracy or I didn't until Trump said wheeled get determine the course of America and the world for many many years to come. Too many horatius bite expressing the world view of an unusually incubators four year old and the essential message of trauma space seem to be

may no add isolationism, while also he said when Americans are united. We are Stop bubble, which is that some supervillain nonsense. I mean that's like that's even trying, pretend that he's a good guy, that's like straight up like who once be unstoppable. But he was talking about Worldview America, rather, where other beetling other people's issues when it keep the wealth. Here, it's a bit It's ugly he's trying to starve out the developing world and they were not allowed to get foreign things anymore. Asea is idea, his wife is not from here, but ok are we looking at They're gonna be like a ceremonial slow, of MRS Trumpet economic relations. You know it maybe he go evil. Thoughts can see this happen because we had

no mark is not not had what you might call at the US, a second civil war over this yet but swim we had a big civil war in the fifteenth century, early end of which is a gesture of conciliation. Henry Jude, a marriage, the former queen of Edward, the forthcoming right thanks owed by sea, bringing together the blanket Lancaster on your yorkists size of the civil war, to create a new unified nation. Now, if he's going to slay his wife ass, a subtext? All of his speech quite clearly suggested he will. And a gesture of american independence. Surely he will have to marry. Hillary Clinton as certain bring bringing the information together. That is the only way he can do it. I think bill will happily step aside. Does She have a choice in the matter is a kind of. Is that not how trumps America works with women? What clearly that it doesn't come from? Denmark does not what with women judging by

his cabinet thing on. No, she said she wants the best for America, I'm sure she'll step up to the plate, and also given that he has absolutely no experience of politics of any saw kind. Really, you re doing good to have a first laid done the job? Before I mean he does have his daughter and whatever situation. That is Yanina. I think that that might even be a step beyond the pale for dollar. There's an oval harry about attacking Washington establishment. So where were we transferring power from Washington D C and giving it back to you the people I'm in August? The question is how the arms will be shut up great, but as a person, of America. Are you excited about getting always power back and on what you gonna do with it? Oh, my god, I barely get my rent paid on time.

I am the last person who should have one the second to last person, You should have control of Amerika wounded, people ever have power. That's True, there is always somebody leg in charge telling everyone else what to do and if there was descent bad things happen. The Mets that's fairly Wurzel, I mean he talked but like jobs being sent overseas, am a change the status quo alike as as, if, Everyone was ignoring that he was up there as if she has struggled it'll. Give complete. And somehow it worked people seem to be down with the idea that you know everything coming to an end without my financial sensitive taken long ago, setting up. One thing that was coming about the speech is that He didn't have the okay hand gesture up most of that speech, which was which is comforting, cause it

into indicate everything would be ok or us just that's the way that he works. Paypal, disease and master manipulate We talked about this, and international authorities have the wealth. More middle class has been ripped from their homes and then redistributed all across the world all across the world. Donald, I'm sure those Rwandans in Bangladesh, she's getting absolutely hammered out applause, american champagne, as we speak, and we all all equivalent Please venturing global reaction, crispness up that North Korea statement We have not reported on the inauguration. That's all I know about. No important enough right and that outcome in in some possibly related news and the latest world happiness rankings, North Korea, current happiest nation in the world jumped up from last placed a first just by nor what's on the Trump inauguration there seriously outlandish stuff A more outlandish than this one

or build new roads and highways and bridges and apples and tunnels and railways. Across all wonderful railways, America, You have always ignore the right now. Why why the railway now, but finding reaches in America, a country clearly would have benefited from functioning railway network and all suddenly, throwing away that key plank of national identity manage a hypocrite. That was one of those moments where I realised that he might have written the speech himself. I felt like that should have been act and also, like Obama, was the one that was something with high speed railway. When he was elected, everyone thought he was a maniac emphasis. Electric cars slipped right through I was really hoping that Chuck humor the Democrats minority leader who spoke before before the Sarah, like the the swearing in one up. I was hoping you would filibuster. There was a small fee

Talking, awhile I go. I see where this is going. He was talking about the civil war them like. It I was in my be like well, let's start with the first day of the Washington administration, and then the second day, and if you just kept up for my life, Now three three and a half years to the next elections. I agree. I think the army, I don't know why There has to be a way out: might be aliens. There might be a way out of this yet well I can suggest good way out- and that is all you need to watch more cricket hurry because crickets on much all the time the Long games lost five days and is an awful lot of time. You can destroy yourself from me. I reckon if you, if you didn't get, it is properly spent almost the entirety of the next four years, watching cricket. If I'm not

maybe the wife Americans to survive. That's generally my way, and you will know the dumps, except with baseball agenda label, does a pretty Sancho I bet you there's a KEN Burns Documentary called baseball. About the history of em baseball and it Sir like Twitter as a real time, isn't it from the start. We gave my four thousand Bailey feeling four thousand hours, but it fills a lot of time and after a break up watch that, over and over again to feel a sense of comfort, and that's I belong to something and usually I M pants less Sir where eating a mango eleven minutes for yesterday. One of these are something we want to positive signs of of Trump roll on my motto banner, composition? He was a kind of aggressively a pessimistic device.

If speech for incoming president but it com- and it could be a huge boost for the american hobby industry Can we allow people you're you're, watching a baseball videos, people taken up all manner of stuff to distract them from unethical, be an absolute my little. How is intending to rebuild the american economy by gay everybody to love themselves in a shed model ship before. Yes, he used the phrase american carnage, which was very unsettling, didn't expect to hear like what essentially is the name of a video game his inaugural address. I miss american conditions at the top for Bulgaria I mean about the next four years as hee hee. Greatly kid that american carnage that phrase in America first but expected, you're more the hits, which was kind disappointing. I didn't hear you're fired. I was hoping for that

I was hoping you'd go on and say America, I'm hired. I mean that would have won a few points. He didn't pull out. Grab them by the pussy. I was really hoping you try now. Let's that's lives a couple a month. The governor followed, maybe bring that back. There were no impressions, of disabled people or any man happens. I thought he'd leg a couple, a new things out just to give us a preview of the next four years He just now he closed on the biggest hit a closed on, make Amerika great again in nice. And build up is like make. They forget and make America reaching any did that you all knew where it was going. We all knew like it's gonna end of a big one, building anticipation and any nailed it he nail I about the forty eight people who showed up for his inauguration and they were thrilled. Also, it is pointed out, you didn't hear locker up, didn't feature as well in a dramatic if we just added

very cleansing. Cutler bind just like just on points of some military figures, not if sort of falling into back grandma loose, but I wondered if I would just gonna arrest, try and convict energy clean and on the spot. Won't you know if that did happen as terrible as that. Is there something kind of press of about it, because, like Obama promised a to closed on Guantanamo Bay, which he didn't after eight years, thus see. Like a really difficult outlandish thing to do right, considering where we were as a country Bush administration and this man the claim that he would jail his opponent. And imagine if you actually did it on the first day like that impressive, I mean we'd, be there's a country and the The transfer of power would very quickly end, but men the person who keeps promises. You got admire that So you're saying you respect, you would have respected from me,

We had a yes rested in jail, I mean he'd, be despicable. I would hate him, but there there's a you know why you, but all this shit during the campaign you actually followed through a viewer at least he's out a phoney I've I've the corners the whole time, and now I'm like. No, you are just a maniac put your. You're a genuine maniac, honest. Laura, avoiding line right right river. Why can t Jackson who gave us a third of the press is said he private? from would be given the wisdom of Solomon, the vision of Joseph and them It consists of Christ. I'm units meekness and Donald Trump do not sink to go? making. This is not necessarily equality wants approach. President now where maybe Swung, slowly to while the other white, the wisdom of Solomon, clearly, that's that's not an item of but Jack,

previously, as Sir said, about from Donald as an example of someone who has been blessed by God. Look is homes, businesses, his wife and his jet. You dont get those things unless you have the favor of God. Now that is a right. Go into the doctrine of Christianity, even as a Jew. I think someone is defaced, your global it. My friend a jet did, God promised promises the jets I thought what it was. One of most impressive things was Barack Obama, whose face looked to me throughout, like the absolute definition heartbreak, managing to go a full half hour plus and starts of Trump speech to him, getting the helicopters and fleeing without Shit, Anyone points the words

extraordinary restrain from Obama. You have to admit that it didn't. Last long, though, we have the transcripts hurry from the cumbersome the above their heads in the helicopters. They flew away from washing shit, Elvis elder. That actually happen as a big dave. Shit is even more vote. Yes, Europe is like out tomorrow. Yes, you can play golf every day now thanks for rubbing nodded, so were tough, totally Obama's. That was amended with some of our some awkward faces. In the background during that speech, some very very awkward faces and love to see the face on the Abraham, Lincoln Statue at the other end of them or whether it was started mouthing the first s sake again or stop touching. My bible.

Now I was for some questions, for and then all duration, Q, and I and version you got in touch via a twitter and facebook. This came from at shrub who just hurry and how much cheese denied to dream this when us. So my lesson: industrial quantity of some deeply deeply on past your ized, probably cave matured, spanish, blue, stuff, brick combat cheese- is going to this, this level of her of american nightmare, nothing if you're on the non trump side of the political Cecil or it could have been american cheese with the plastic still on it. Well, that's all your bail out sewer bailouts await gotten one avenues: foreign change, monk, they all American Chase for american Mouth there's came in from Deaf Frank land as our attitude Franklin Local, easy at

So the question for Hurricane the balloon: how shooting and remedy their lack of wicked taking bowlers in some continental conditions? Oh well, that's I would go try to recolonize in India. That kind of suppression. Will allow you to control the conditions which you will play perhaps you will only play in perhaps You know you will you will change some of the rules which you could do again as I colonial power, so at last weary and us is the inauguration proof. Time travel does not work har. How did I may be proof of it does work and that the other futures come might apply a prank on us just pissed off with his fur living in such a mess and its good, and that young It would be able to explain it actually will, especially when you and a bunch of voters who were from from the future, who don't like the future of the country chum, it's a time machine.

Brings them too. America to vote for him now Spain, the margins, some of those key states or the other way it could have worked. Was this oppression of minorities, voters, but also could have been the time travel thing. Maybe trumps. Better option and in this in the original reality, Rick and tourism is just be made. President do come and see my torture begin on the second of February details and these also Dakota Ukiah, no stop shamelessly tweeting. The gigs already shows to plug. Yes, there are shows the plug I'll, be in Atlanta, Georgia February, seven team, Asheville North Carolina February eighteen Madison Wisconsin at the end of April. And New York at Carolines Anna. In early may, so I'm around you tickets to buy

all my website, googled outcome, hurry condemn all or hurry Laura Harry Comedian, as all want your words at will somehow get you to me a promise next time I'll get you on the show. They will not have been some thing involving Donald Trump being elected as american present, Ellie, be distant history by the way to go, and I finally ass does that how recurring to avoid talking about it We will do the chauffeur news, reoccurring, co or two or three. Ago I action It would do that. Just pretend that none of this happened We are just starting to hear about the Trump candidacy and weaken and can market, We can pretend that it will never happen Why don't we do that? Lets live in the past Andy. Well, if that's does seem to be the way that policy she's going. So let my we should just serve along without before I go.

Have I special inauguration commemorative to clue presidential cryptic crossword for you to symbol. Those one across and one down like into look around the earth six letter of one across and the sick letter of one down. If I want to cross, is this: it sure two words of six and five letters: I think it is, and the clue is obviously perverted new White House resident. For some sodomy switch is over. I get between two large breasts: that's the start than men, ass six, six thousand five letters And one down nine letters long Eric leader confused after getting the fourth and fifth prostitutes to get mixed up with endless dirty, please so I you to clue. Griffin crossword commemorate this.

Historic moments in the advance of civilization, a and human discourse I'll be back now week with an Kumar in the country brief. It may between bits of globe trotting, do keep sending your emails in two hollow buglers at the bugle podcast dont, we call a new website, is one with: yes, yes still happening, there was no one is what was it Well, you are see if the bugle pot girls come there. We go. That's a cape of floating somebody's Duke in listening to the people and all other broadcasts on the wonderful radio Tokyo network of which were now apart, enjoying four stroke ideas, buglers. We're not only less and less than a youth, how renounce old, trumpet definite? No present less than eight years- that's great, I would suggest talking up on water canned goods, batteries flashlights anything you can get

over the next couple of weeks, just in case happy times. I thank you for listening vehicles, the boy.