Andy Is joined by Alice and Anuvab in London for a tour of the world's news. We take in everything from Australian journalist Raids, Presidential visits and Cat De-Clawing to Cricket being under attended but sold out and Female CPR dummies.
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Audio newspaper, For a visual hello buglers, add welcome to issue four thousand one hundred and eleven of the bugle coming to you, as is so often the case in the form of sound waves powered by sauna racks, ancient God of sound, do you what sound so bugle someone, or vice one hundred head of oxen Tucson racks, to make the bugle sound even better and what better place to the holy Slaughter that on a bugle endorsed a Blato tech. 3D Install Ter uncollectible, alter that packs down to the size of a large sports holder now with did soundproofing and foster drainage to get your alter with a five percent discount and your first three auction, absolutely free, plus a compromise e sword to slay or offering whilst live implications. To the I gave you a choice, go to the
play to check website and use the code. Sloth, your head off. Sorry, I know we're not really supposed to be running ads anymore, but sometimes an offer is simply too good. Welcome to the bugle, like Mandy Zaltzman over here in London, to chronic every single relevant moment in the universe over the last week or so, and I'm joined firstly by someone only has to look at an exotic bird to turn it into a enemy for all humankind. It's the hemisphere herself, one woman comedic tribute to the american penal system in that she afraid of unnecessarily long sentences, it's Fraser, hello and hello, buglers, hello, other mystery guest. How are you very well thank welcome back to the correct side of the equator. I'm very happy to be back and I've come back in time for some real good sunshine and sudden rain, yeah well you're in the right place for that. But it's made me very happy. Also, my twin brother's wife's maternity leave is finishing, so they're following me back with the baby
wrong in my life, pursuing you with baby disposal wanted also joining us today. In London, it's the yeast from the east, in that he always right, Just to the occasion and comes from e of here, it's an over pal hello, Andy hello. Also, if you put in a cool dark space, he lost one thousand years, I'm going to get a yeast. Please call t shirt should give it to every family member, No well welcome. Welcome to London. Thank you. I did. I thought it would be a unique visit in the summer. I'd be the only person visiting, but I just recently heard from the british Consulate in Mumbai that there is a two thousand percent increase in the demand visas. There's, apparently we as a nation of filling up your cricket stadiums. Yes, well, I will not touch on this later on filling up in the sense that stadiums are sold out and about three slash four full. So it's
I was involved in Southampton yesterday for India's first game of the cricket World CUP for any non cricketers. Listeners will be covering the World CUP through the people as well as on the the unbelievable podcast that I'm also doing an total sellout this game weeks and weeks in advance and about three slash four full. So I don't know if people just too excited by the prospect of cricket now to just lie down in a dark and aircraft hangar. I think cricket watching is a very prestigious activity, so there might be doing it for the Instagram likes just just taking a picture of their ticket and then not bothering going because they don't actually like cricket yeah. I mean people have always been doing that to my stand also joining us stepping in for Chris, who is currently a little indisposed due to his wife. Having had another baby is not for the first time well, for the first time she had another one.
So first we had a baby, so funny math and you can workout how many children they now have its rich hello, rich, hello, Andy, how buglers hello, mister ego soon in the end, no longer mystery, yes, and about how I didn't want to reveal you, because I wanted you to have the full spectacle of walking down the red carpet. I never read company, that's correct and also being known as the e Indies uh, it's bugle issue full one, one one also incident his exact words and I slightly awkward conversation just a couple days ago between Donald Trump and the queen full one of one well well. Well, I'm we are recording on the sixth of June, two thousand nineteen seventy five years since D Day, a day which proved pivotal and paving the way for a world that could move beyond nationalism, isolationism and unnecessary conflict towards international collaboration, and operation in a european content that would always work together towards a better future. So, thanks to all
involved, as well as some sections of the bugle are going straight in the bin. This week in the Bin section advising you how to cut down on you unnecessary plastics use it one try to avoid buying plastic wrapped food in supermarkets. By tearing the plastic off before you get to the checkout, the supermarkets will then be able to re use the plastic on tomorrow's, for when recreating great battles of the medieval era do not use little plastic bottles of shampoo or shower gel stolen from hotels to represent the divisions of the competing armies used by degradable exotic fruits, instead flown in from around the world. To give you a visually sing, an aromatic battlefield when getting Garrett when getting married, do not make a full
in vairo economy by not having a wedding cake which would require eggs from carbon dioxide emitting chickens and instead building a twenty foot. High statue of your spouse out of plastic beads and ceremonially catapulting it into your local harbor in traditional gesture of good luck and long lasting love. Do not do that. Also in the cake. Instead of eggs used coal for every lump of coal, you eat is a lump of coal. Someone else is not burning and further plastic reduction invoice? Don't rap all your coins and banknotes individually in cellophane to avoid leaving fingerprints on them in case the government want to track your spending just use, gloves and final piece of plastic reduction. Vice, don't bother buying imitation plastic cockroaches to leave lying around your kitchen when unwanted friends and unloved relative pop round for tea instead carve them out of bits of driftwood humanely collected from a consenting beach. So that's five ways:
to reduce plastic. If that's going in the back top stories this week, the world well my world for the last week and into the next five weeks, is largely consumed with a covering the cricket world CUP. So Frank, I'm a little bit behind what's been happening in the real world. All is also like to note the less good world. Luckily, I have two people with me who all correspondence for the rest of the world on behalf of the people Alex. Firstly, what so, what school euro in in the in the world this week in Australia. The federal police have raided the ABC News Building and are accessing standing in reviewing thousands of documents in a hunt for this isn't: data link to state secrets about sweeping knew surveillance measures, it's the biggest attack on press freedom in Australia in his the director of NEWS going Mara said Journal
is not a crime to which the street in federal police police said not yet before twirling them starches and setting some books on file. It is quite interesting services. I mean it is possibly linked to the return of the a b c, unbelievable cricket, podcast, featuring a infelicity ward, I'm over here, suckers you'll, never take me alive. And I guess, there's a lot of questions whether there needs to be greater protection for whistleblowers in Australia. I mean I mean I the, the thing is you know when everyone who has evidence of high level wrongdoing is going to simply put it in the public domain? Then it's going to be so hard for governments to suppress public knowledge of all the corruption that coming Where will that leave us? I mean it will leave us in a bad way and they also raided the home of NEWS, Corp journalists and they could Annika's Methodist, who reported on government plans to spy on its own citizens in a story that included images
top secret document and the headline tomorrow will read massive explosion of painful irony, kills hundreds hundreds of years of developing a for the state. Andy Ellis. I have a question. As you know, it is my job on the spot close to being the to the pc to century into in turn the existing institutions so generalism. I think you guys have done a good job with it for a couple one hundred years now. What they've done in India is that billionaires have bought up most of the news channels,
so what this would be and and the billion is that about of the news channels, basically also spend a lot of money owning the government. So when a government, three aids in a news organization, they basically going into their office in the evening, so is that something that can be done with the street broadcasters like the BBC and ABC, I mean we're open to corruption. Okay, here the vehicle at the very come on bribing a day, you too, I will literally taking bribes in the form of a voluntary subscription scheme. So you know you just leave us some money. No questions asked how will tell a lie about you on the show so who the mentally undermining the whole point of journalism. I enjoy that satirical element that I had not understanding. Well done. Scott Morrison, your a God given Prime Minister, very much a politician whose face, and indeed politics exuded
Aviva and humanity of a molding potato, was asked if he was concerned that a journalist's home was raided and he said it never troubles me that our laws are being upheld. So exact How sinister did you find that the Prime minister, those I guess, depends on when he didn't say in a german accent, so it could have been worse goodnight. He didn't demand papers first, which is my bar. For entry to? I just constantly maintained in my mind the mantra that he shot himself in a Mcdonald's in Engadine in nineteen, ninety seven weather, true or not, it makes everything seem safer. Another bit of the australian news that I meant to build up a picture of a nation that some I just got a few things that could work on from an objective point of view. Uh. It's really was criticized in a UN report this week for detaining a blind mentally ill tamil man who had fled persecution in
transfer Lanka for nine years, they detained him for nine years, and I guess I'm in Australia clearly is like to get tough on immigration, because the thing is, if you let in one blind mentally ill Tamil man, who's fleeing persecution and torture. You going to be updated with millions and millions of blind mentally ill tamil men fleeing persecution and talk at torture, taking all your jobs. Stealing all your women and selling all your natural resource is too unaccountable overseas billionaires, and then, where would you be as a nation well and answer that accusation by saying look a koala? This is the first and what about Terry has led to a marsupial and if I bought some story in your world. Well Andy: I was reading the New York Times. I don't own a pet, but I know a lot of people in the western world do, and you have time said a headline that there's new load that's been passed. That says,
Declawing is now illegal in the state of New York right. You cannot declaw a cat, ok, and my understanding of this seems to be that this is a question of consent right right, like if someone cut my fingernails without my knowledge, I don't see myself being friends with that person. In the long run, I don't have any of your cat owners is declawing a thing. Is it a this will cats are not friends with anyone testify, so it was a bipartisan bill. They put it through. It needs to be reviewed and signed by the governor and Andrew Cuomo before it becomes law and unless he's recently been the subject of a cat attack, it is likely to go through I'm torn about it. Indeed, 'cause on one hand, I wouldn't let a person sit that close to my groin with a handful of knives, ha ha ha ha. And it came up in these cats want to leave among humans? Maybe they should some cultural integration and learn the language.
On the other hand, I do think cat owners probably deserve a ball sack full of poor daggers for the impact their little murder. Pets have on native wildlife and then also from a jewish perspective. When were given a small, helpless being and trust, I feel we are probably entitled to take the tip off anything. We can reach but also I empathize with the suffering of a cat being declawed. What if they get it you're suddenly need to call someone my eyes out. Seems to me on the way home from comedy gigs, all so itchy. I think this should be in the law. This is exactly where Alex said should be. The actual statute I mean uh All you see is bloody animal rights lobby into faring amid, but wherever next year, then a stop. Stop me ripping the clothes of my cat. In a much you. Take the alloy wheels off my rhino and the Big bass subwoofer out of my elephant till pimp, my pachyderm was probably tv shows my life the most now I do. I do get
the elephant and I'm going to get it, but if you have a cat, because he thought we don't really do. I don't know we do cat declawing in this country. I don't act. My parents had cats when I was a kid, but I didn't much like them. The parents of the cat, the potato appetite, but it's not something we do over here and uh. Well, I guess you know, as you say, if you do have a cat, then it is likely that your cat is a bit of a dick and you might want to take some measures to stop exploring her eyes out. When is that our goal infantile dog impressions? But there are alternatives, honor to declawing, for example, don't get a cat leave cat with its claws on learn to live with it or if you're worried about your phone close getting snagged, which appears to be a a one of the main reasons. People get that cast the clover. What about your furniture? But you really, like cats, get a robot cats with sensors in his legs. The instantaneously were try
its claws whenever a snaggle fabric is detected or just go. Watermelon instead, which doesn't have claws, is in its own way quite comforting to hold in your lap. I'm told I mean I guess one of the benefits of declawing a cat. Is it doesn't make it much harder for your cats to pick locks, so your possessions are safe, are never ever trust. A cat. Have a look at you. Look deep into a cats eyes. Never never trust account onwards. In world news. Three men in Boston are taking it on themselves to act as representatives of all embarrassing people everywhere by applying for a license for a straight pride parade and the organizer marks it had. He wrote in a facebook comment that the event will celebrate heterosexuality and is meant to poke fun at the identity politics of the political left. There is a particular kind of and in the world Andy who thinks the best way to poke fun at something is to apply for a license to do it
they've all they've designed a flag, they've designated active Brad Pitt as their mascot, though I don't know what Brad Pitt thinks about this honor, but apparently the parade will include floats and vehicles which I take leave to seriously doubt that we are going to have a straight pride parade promises about as likely to come. True as they hey. Let's catch up for a coffee promise, which is to say about as likely as the promise. Mind. Blowing head you've got big dream night, but I doubt your skill at mustering sufficient enthusiasm for this will be fulfilling for anyone involved. I mean I have a limited understanding of gay and straight history, but it is safe to say that there was never large periods in history with three people were in prison and and electrocuted and shot for being straight. Well, we don't know that I mean because when you look at the history of evolution, it's going to take
humans a long long time, suspiciously long time to evolve, which suggests to me that all heterosexuals were were being covertly imprisons and prevented from breeding for arguably millions and Yeah, we don't know what happened to the dinosaurs really do. Maybe by the dinosaurs, died out all those rampantly heterosexual dinosaurs, like the T Rex in the stegosaurus, don't get much more heterosexual that and yet, where are they now? One great big gay asteroid wipe a lot out. So if anything, this is this is come up, and so this is deserved. This is yeah yeah. Absolutely. I just think going to be a bit of a dud of you know how there's quite often these NEO Nazi marches and there's like eight people in very frumpy clothes walking down the street, while people walk alongside them, blowing sad trombones. I think it's going to be like that. I put my money on it being something like that:
Well, that is what we had for sexual pride is all about from bones. I am in no I'm other rub exciting news. I'm there's been a huge breakthrough and, in the end world, gender relations Alex and medical equipments. I'm can you just talk through. They said this huge moment in the the advance of gender equality- yes, the first female CPR dummy is now available. Although we Female sex dolls have been around since the used by dutch sailors in the 17th century. Cpr dummies have been traditionally male, or at least while thankfully painless masculinely shaped with Boobless Kendall chests there following a Reese. Study by Doctor Audrey Blewer, which found that women suffering from cardiac arrest in public are twenty, seven percent less likely than men to receive CPR and New York based creative agencies created the first ever attachment
trying to convert a standard cpr dummy into a female version, I think, is very exciting. The research determined that the Traditional Kendall Chest training Protocol led to an uncertainty. How to perform CPR on will anywhere other than Zac Efron, but more more. Thank you. Lily about how to perform CPR around the heart attack each list of the name. Burbled rib cage perform heart palpitations without mashing herbs. Can you even electrocute a heart through all that tip with the Zappy thing? The women have hearts, or is it just three boob with one on the inside cool it does I mean if this is obviously it's arguably overview, but uhm, but it is rather stepping in after God is clearly decided to punish women for Eve stealing the apple from Pandora, lunch box or whatever it was, but it does raise the question you were going to have female CPR dummies. What are we going to get first
male practice, womb, 'cause, always women who get the advantages in obstetrics in sick of it, economics, news now and bad news for India and if AB no longer the world fastest growing economy, a devastating news, yeah live economic stories and they apparently in India. We've just realise that, after a while, you just can't make up your gdp. Apparently it's an actual calculated number whose accuracy is checked by some people called economists right, no one told didn't know it was a thing. So apparently, we've been saying we're growing at nine percent, but apparently facts and independent verification says we're going early at five. So who do you believe awesome? This is what's happening,
or numbers for from. In fact, I got a very bad rep over them over recent years, so yeah. Well, I don't see any problem with that. I mean that's. Essentially, what the entire brexit debate was based on was pretend numbers real numbers, and that is a fight that no one can win correct other than the pretend numbers who won the winner is lies and doctor Doctor DOS Sata Contadas, who is the head of RB, it came out and said it's a question of perspective, we're looking at the Gtp a certain way and for a nickel mister looking at it at a different way and maybe we can meet but who and I think I think that what I like about mathematics, it's never specific. You know it's v. Two two is: whose perspective is it also, I mean in terms of growth, this whole stat of fastest growing economy, which was trumpeted alot in Britain as well with the fastest growing
and yet we only managed to achieve that because we tanked our economy look at Titanic into an iceberg. So full? We got the opportunity for to grow false, I'm in many ways. I see the system is a great treatment for news to being on the fastest growing economies in the world. To you actually got us Us Brits to think about, for essentially stealing all your resources and and impoverishing you in the first place that gave you the opportunity it than to grow. There are some extraordinary statistic that came up in our when we doing that radio series. Yes, last year about some indian GDP before and after the Brits yeah, so apparently India was a wealthy economy, but you're absolutely right, I think the early viceroys felt zero was a good starting number right because how growing field brewing growing at eleven percent. So I think all the extraction of well during the colonial era was just to level the playing field right so now
growing at six percent. It's from zero. So that's good right, ready at four. Thank you. Already at fourteen percent under the mogul empire before the british game? Where do you go from there? You know like We already way ahead of zero. So I thank you. Thank you. Andy and I'd, like only the colonial project, was a long exercise in tough love, speaking of which I'm staying with economics. New Zealand decided to come up with an entirely independent metric to measure their economic growth so and they're. Going we use gdp, but music. It is just introduced, the world's first well being budget. So the government will
give you some money. So what do you regard as important to your well being apart from food and shelter? So, for example, I imagine if I lived in New Zealand, I love espresso. I like roast beef because it's banned in my country and I like going to the theater, so this would be considered. I could make an appeal. I also have to be from New Zealand, which I'm not, but you have to pay for these things and they'd give you these things so food and shelter given because the you know, I'm sure they have some sort of a scandinavian type system, take care of that. In addition, they give you these things will be. So maybe you know it's it's a son. In the way of looking at it you'll just like we're making up a GDP numbers- and you see him this helping us by saying GDP is not the only measure right right, so we'll have a well being budget. So whatever is important for web, your well being ended, for example, a lot of cricket. Yes
I mean this is exhausting. I am sick of Musial and showing off on the world stage about health. I'm not a sales making. The rest of us look bad is what it is yeah. What is your blind disabled box clear. Another world news: this is a very distressing story. Apparently rich nations such as such as Britain,
are having were having our waste sent back to us and Australia as well from the countries that we are outsourcing. It too. So essentially, what recycling involves is chugging a lot of short on a ship and sending it somewhere else and forgetting about it, and then it just gradually seeps back into the natural ecosystem and turns into Christmas trees. But someone started sending stuff back because they are being sent stuff. They can't they can't recycle things being put in the room. It's very great concern to be honest, speaking from a british point of, if suddenly, these precious relics of our soc being given back to us under the pressure is going to grow for us to return all the rubbish we collected from overseas in the past. If, if countries like Malaysia and Indonesia start sending back Darren's, mostly eaten Kabab Box, an empty cigarette packet or little Timmy swiftly broken Christmas, remote Control toy fair. It then the Greeks
then the Greeks are going to want those broken old bits of nudie people and horse he's back for their broken temples as well. Only I do not like where this is going on one hand, it sort of feels like justice for our over consumerism wastefulness, but also malay, sending up to a hundred tons of plastic waste back to Australia. I don't know that my secret dream is to live on top of a palace of old car parts. When I sit on a big pile of car parts and dispense wisdom, wisdom from a throne made out of defunct, hyper color, t, shirts slap bands and other essential office supplies from 1980s like the giant rat philosopher. Come martial arts Sensei splinter in the teenage mutant, ninja turtles so that they wanted Alice you've. Just described New high rise in Mumbai built on it, but I have a question Alice, Andy Rich. Would it be ok not just to send back fecal matter, but also feature things by which I mean the show big brother is
popular in India and we send that back. Well, I mean I don't I want George Orwell would say about that: she's fat, his family, absolutely raking it in a folder of these. I think indian elections. News an if ab now when you were lost on the elections were in progress. I think that is correct and it ends up convincing win for Narendra Modi who retained his title, as Prime Minister House mean how's it going to affect India. Well, Andy they've done all the analysis now post elections and it was- tight election, the render mode the only one, eighty six percent of the votes, so here's a close battle, but recently Bloomberg did a survey and they found that in India, two slash three of the voters received cash directly
and I know that sometimes the moral values of the western world. The developer can have issues with that. But you know I've been following elections in the West and in the developed world, and I've seen people give speech, where they talk about when they're elected they'll, improve livelihoods of people and incomes in the future through policies. Now in India, it's much better to do it before but just giving people money and then blackmail them into voting like if you think about it. Apparently there is a word for it bribe, but it's a new concept for me. I've never heard of, but but it is a novel way to think about governance right right. It's like a you know. I've heard all these features about people trying to be the new british Prime Minister saying I'll, take the collective along and then the economy will improve. Then you'll get job, Can you make money? Was here some money? You vote? I'm not telling you what I'm going to do, but his fifty dollars in about religion.
The future is another country one. I will own for now. Take these five dollars and go buy yourself, a packet of chips exactly exactly and there's no problem with the media because he owns that just so, we won't have any australian tirades, so things are good. I would about. I mean the the the very known, muddy fans, because I met most of the the the Indians all of pants, but not huge fans of I'm. In my my my one of my closest indian friends called him a genocidal busted. Yes, yeah there's two sides to every coin. I guess, but I mean what's how's the reaction on that side of the political spectrum you may want to check with your friend what country he's moved to, but artists. You know, uh commentators tend to be left of center Ann, that's fine! They just have fewer avenues now to express'
the left of centre views. Twitter is probably the only one that probably get fired from all the newspapers, 'cause they're owned by the government and I think crime Emily is a fair democratic. Prime minister, I mean, apart from controlling the government, the courts of law, the banks, the Reserve Bank free speech. Everything else is free in India. Ok, that's good! So I don't see how he's a fascist. As you know, people are saying Hitler and I don't see it You know because he's only controlling all the major institutions and public opinion other than that with a slight religious, fascist undertones, helped by the religious infrastructure of temples and slightly anti Muslim, but other than that, as manifested by one tiny riot other than that, after that people are allowed to be free and fair. So I don't know what your fans and friends in India complaining about. India, ok I'll, pass that on
in extreme local news. Now I'm a big believer in locally sourced things and locally sourced news is the newest thing. I'm sourcing from extremely locally the for my flat hasn't worked since I moved in, despite repeated calls for investment in infrastructure from the governing body, so people have to outside the wall of my house and shout until I come and get them It's not. I was so tired. I accidentally kicked a cup and broke the cup and then, when I was getting into bed, I clicked my ankle bone so hard. I was pretty sure I'd done severe damage to myself, but I was too sleepy to get up and check. So I just dreamed that I went to the hospital and I felt much better this morning. The local lady who says I seem like quite a nice person, which is good. Although she then said I have the eyes of a husky dog in weather, news or high pressure period is sweeping down from the n, with Edinburgh Fringe previews and not a lot of paid gigs and hoping for a break in the industry. So I don't have to worry about my where my rent is coming from and accord
my period Tracker app. I've got three days to go your local news. This is Seinfeld what what news? Your your, your local friend said you had to the eyes of a of a high dog. To do she mean in in your head or in my own head. I wasn't carrying them. I think she just shouldn't say The eyes of my husky dog after you've got the dog lies out. She was she just sort of came up and took both my hands and stared into my eyes and said you seem like a very nice person and then she said you have beautiful eyes like a husky dog gromit thing. Did you try to make you carry her across Alaska and she tried just strap me to us like then. She asked me for twenty pounds.
Donald Trump has been visiting the United Kingdom luckily had the cricket was able to meet with. He did fly over the ground in Southampton yesterday, while the after game was going onto helicopters, one of which contained Trump and the other, which contained parts of go flew over the ground that I was disgusted that he should have been allowed anywhere near the Holy Holy Sanctuary of a cricket grounds will be free from this kind of stuff. So he is clearly a one man Kalahari of common sense ago, be of good nature. And he waited in during his brief trip over here. He had a pop at the London mayor. He told some lies. He spoken by various issues. He stuck his order in british politics, whereas emphatically not one that he tells more lies and said some things that we obviously didn't mean and waggle is awesome.
I shoot pseudo imperial nepotism right in the faces of our royal family, come on Trump something dignity, so all in all, it was ugly as most impressive in dignified performance since becoming President and he had his sort of serious kind of seriously on serious mode, I'm never comfortable. When Trump is in his. I really have to pretend to be a real president mode. Is sing, Freddy slashing Freddy Krueger and heavy mascara and lipstick just worry about. What's coming next, yeah refused to meet Jeremy Corbin on the grounds that Corbin was quotes, a negative force, which is not entirely the pot calling the kettle black more a tarantula calling a bench a little too eight legged for my liking. Yeah trump in informal presidential reading off a script mode is very much like somebody who,
I've been living at the end of an alley way under a pile of rubbish for eight years and then comes out with a really slick side part. You just don't know, it has been using to Brylcreem his hair down and seems like it can't last sport now and well. The cricket world CUP, as discussed well underway, now ticketing fiascoes. They many empty seats, as I was saying it supposedly sold out games and also people had not received physical tickets just having bought them a year ago or more and I've been traveling from around the world to come to games and eventually they let people print them out at home.
On day two of the tone, but could it does seem? I was a bit of a mix up in the ticketing department on the to do list. A new swivel chair b does on some pretty pictures on the tickets, see this on an irritatingly on user, friendly, ticketing website d? U coffee machine that can make a rap milk from Pacino for those who don't like dairy eighty office, sweepstake on which jumbo give the most I'll be W's in the tournament, and I forgot the key parts of printing and sending out the tickets, which is easily done. I guess
if that is your one roll. That is the one thing. Yes, I'm I'm. I have to ask them. The world CUP is a slightly big deal in India in that it's only obsessed over by eight hundred million people. It's not that big, but you know- and it's not available on your terrestrial television now. If that happened in India, it would lead to a few cases by which I mean millions of cases of all soon loot, Banditry Hill it is going on, but, as the guardian recently pointed out, the World CUP opening ceremony was attended by massive celebrities
like Malala, Yousafzai and Malala Yousafzai. It appears it's not it's the the yes, I I didn't see the opening, so it was a day before the tournament started and it yeah. I don't think because many people turned up as they were hoping, partly because I said do not turn up on if you've got a ticket and then no not tickets, and it might the us how big a cricket from militarism Sheep go up in in in Pakistan with a shoe meshes are hugely impressive human beings that full, I would assume she's. A massive cricket fan as all the greatest human beings should be, and indeed all your newspapers were quite kind about the World CUP opening ceremony. They called it a drenched, sod mediocre, which is essentially a pretty recent history of english cricket through the 1980s and 1990s
Indiana well other away the cricket, the wall. Football is happening and today, as we record regarding the Thursday England, are about to place final in the new European Nations League tournament they'll in Portugal, and they are about to play the Netherlands and thinking to myself. There's been a bit of an issue with England's notorious football fans, and the FAA had launched a m a campaign in total done Be that eighty s, unfortunately, the done be the idiot campaign. Felony deaf, is of idiots as India, England fans have acted like idiots and coast. Violent may have been the city of city of Porto and it it is one of the curious aspects of football which is at its heart is very simple: sport, a childlike procedure trying to kick a thing into another thing,
that it can make people behave as if human evolution will just an elaborate hoax, and this is this- is always kind of dodged and tainted english English football, and it must be deeply irritating. For the vast majority of England fans who are either not idiots or not, that kind of idiot, but the old saying goes. A few one hundred bad apples can spoil the barrel. It feels like it's just not not not using your opposable thumbs means I've forgotten the level of evolution. That's gotten you to the point where you would use them right. Maybe they need more hand bulls just to remind just to remind these people that you can. I don't know if they just hold the bottles of log, with the thumb not sure it just embrace them in their arms. But I guess you know historic city, centers of the red RAG to England, sweet looking bull and to be fair, though this is probably not the first time
England is gone into a country and on what they want to it's built into a national national day and night, but I live live rage when it comes to. This is always been music to me and I'm never quite sure what they're angry about whether it's two months checking on on not kicking on the kicking, wasn't interesting enough. I think not enough. Calculus of the problem with with with football, is essentially that it's not violent enough as a sports. Rugby's never had a hooliganism problem yeah, because all the violence is taken care of the great point. Actually, century the social mind. All that is the unwanted offspring. The the conjugation of sports and an ill informed, but potent sense of nationalistic superiority with no other convenient outlets that are at the same time allows enticing opportunities for travel, and they also pick really sleepy town.
Like you know, the fights in severe or core do above. You know, Evan snoozing in the afternoon towns that are not inherently violent. Just just the just bring this aspect. Are you suggesting that the next football World CUP should happen in Mogadishu? Well, simple in Bhutan see what happens but that's not in, it will happen in the women's Football World CUP is kicking off this week and women sport is belatedly, been receiving media attention. In recent years after someone at World Sport HQ got hold of an influential piece of market research, suggesting that at least fifty percent of the world's population are not men. Now, this research being suppressed for many generations in the World Support HQ women's football. Essentially banned for fifty years from the 1920s by the Football Association because well Alice, never mind. You wouldn't understand 'cause, you can't you can't possibly understand men making decisions about women sport unless you've been a man. I think that was the logic anyway so
Well, let's hope I mean it's getting a lot of media England has a good team with a realistic chance of winning, and we can only hope that we'll see further steps towards equality and support over the next month, or so in France, which I mean. I wanna see England fans going on the rampage at a women's football tournament. That is when I will have real gender parity in supporting the founding of women's football team at chanting, abuse of minorities, singing songs about the war and urinating in historic fountains. Then I'll know where becoming a nation, I want my daughter to grow up in her licking, isn't very good. That brings us kicking and screaming to the end of this week, so we're just going to central what is happening with England, friends to the end of this week's this week, because I'm afraid is at no time for lies about subscribers, but well we'll do a bumper set of lies about some tribes next week. If you wish to join the fallen tree subscriptions game, if whatever you can an wish to on a weekly or one off basis, do go to the bugle website, thatpeoplepodcast, dot com and click the donate button. Until next time
I've been a delight to have you here, an in person. I want the woman, it would have been without really make no sense. That said, there's been a lot hologram. I've spent most of the last week just with half an hour and a cricket in one one slash two hours on two screens of statistics, but you've done very well and what statistics they are ending so reality is just my always slender grasp on reality is more gossamer thin than ever Alice great the back bucket, but we are doing a lot of people together on the twenty second of June and London, at the underbelly at suspect that I often in the face of three or three thirty pm start said so unusually early for bugle. So so, let's see
if we can incite some hooliganism in the ground, not enough kicking will have segregation. Will have barbed wire fences separating the Alex Fraser fans from Manish Kumar fans, a fun run that leads to violence like all the best, any other shows to to plug heaps ethos. My last year's show is now available on my patreon for five dollars and I have a trial preview. What are they called and Mythos on the tenth of July in the Museum of Comedy other things, and then Edinburgh? I will, but he didn't get in the festival. I never going to be from time. I am indeed yes, I'm actually doing and for a preview it's a very different show called democracy and disco dancing and about those to think so lying alive by the will of the people '
greatest legacies of ancient Greece, the last time there was about Empire and India's relationship with Britain. This time I spent three months on the road on the election campaign. I guess it's an hour about the things I saw that I cannot unsee do couples all of those shows, as often as you possibly can until next week, vehicles goodbye, bye, bye, bye.
Transcript generated on 2019-10-24.