Audio newspaper for a visual hello, buglers. It is Friday, the sixth of September, and welcome to issue four thousand one hundred and twenty one of the Bugle Audio newspaper for a world of arguably counterproductive, visual visualdna's. Now, what's that you're saying? What do you mean issue? Four thousand one hundred and twenty one open to issue four thousand one hundred and twenty, not to mention issues, two hundred and ninety four to four thousand truck. Obviously those three thousand missing episodes were recorded in a mixture of the future and the past after we slip through a ferret hole in the space time continuum and found ourselves simultaneously in the year three thousand BC and 3000ad or whatever you like to call your years. These days issue four thousand one hundred and twenty. By contrast, we have already recorded at last

guys guilty Feminist Bugle crossover LIVE show, but that's not going out until next week. So this is now next week show brought forth to this week, but covering this weeks news as if it had happened this week, which it has rather this weeks news as if it were, we could already passed, which it hasn't all next week's news which make now may or may not happen as if it's already happened, which it hasn't depending on where you're listening to this in my case, prorogue the vehicle it's for Rogue Nevegal. The point is hello, hello, buglers. We here again it's Friday, the sixth September, I'm Andy Zaltzman, no arguments- and we are here in London, old squabble, town UK itself joining me today- to provide some cold ides objective perspective on behalf of the rest of the world on what is going on.

Here in Britain, I'm joined by Aditi Mittal and Tom Ballards, hello, hello, what the fuck is going on is going on. Well, we will discuss the question of what is going on in slightly more detail, although we will not find an answer to it, because there is no answer to it. It's the six of September, on this day in the year, one thousand six hundred and forty two, the english parliament band stage- plays all grown up world at two two quotes. Lascivious mirth and levity, which, by coincidence it was the stage name of mild double it with John all of the other things band, of course, during the English civil war and the subsequent Cromwellian social Start included farm Christmas, mooning, snickering, slapstick and computer games. What I have is on on this day in eighty,

Forty seven Henry David Thoreau completed his two year: experiments in simple living in Walden, Woods, Massachusetts from which the book Walden it he spent two years two months and two days in and around a special shed in the woods doing things like not very much very little, an absolutely Sada It was what you do now. The Jonsa left the devil's greatest thing in the morning. I need a lot of book about Abraham's American in America, but it was very british yes, but at this time, when there's still some relics, british ability to sit around doing nothing but days at a time in America needs to be very british, really anyways. Unless we were sitting around doing nothing each other test. My school Thoreau wrote wrote about his experience of this simple living, introspective lifes.

Bearing in mind the today's world is twenty four. Let's put this in perspective, what you want to date, this two years, two months, two days on his own in the woods at today's world AIDS, exactly son disapproved twenty five thousand times more hectic than the eighteen forties, so his period of solitude, to put in some kind of perspective, the we can understand is the equivalent to day of being without your mobile for forty five and a half minutes that is owned by some sacrifices. Do you think over to appoint what would become fully hectic and reading the society? I think I'm gonna win full full peak hectic. The whole global market will collapse will end up living in caves again waiting for the initials

it would it would it be going back, was a force thorough, the graphic descriptions of, among other things, red ants in black ants, fighting to the death in his diary and gruesome festival, dismemberment and decapitation, which shows that even in the most solitude in this of solitude in the situations, humans will inevitably tune into some kind of competitive school. But he did, I believe in that chanting, go black ants, rip the heads up Red Skelton. We hey right and a few quotes from a thorough I find it hold some to be alone. The greater part of

time to be in company even with the best, is soon wary some and dissipating. Well, my guests with that. I want like what I say on the day together, like that we're gonna really is like now, I'm actually happy like this. He also said this. I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself and be crowded on a velvet cushion. To be honest, I mean I that sounds a bit of a and b, if you're sitting on a pumpkin that shows up, people will probably give you a what a lot of space in a you will have it all the set of fighting the bomb, didn't the pumpkin but space and uses it rather than love for all the money rather than fame. Give me truth, which, which I think I said to an audience at the Manchester Comedy Store to some music and the truth. They gave me was very much get off your ships. As always, a section of people is going straight in the bin on this week in the Bin.

No, but Miguel be in the Benny's in the Kills Mick been Robert Miguel is now My goal was the food, when President described in some reports as a strongman, which is a polite term for psychopath in high office, has have popped. His dictatorial clogs Robert Mugabe, a man who took the first syllables of his name, is very seriously indeed died at the age of age of ninety. Five, no and there's been a lot of people calling for a cue to G for old Makabe for a newbie listeners of the eulogy was a term created by it by John Oliver and they often off of the death of Asama Bin Laden as a means of bidding farewell to some of the planet's biggest, and I think we go beyond question we qualified. He qualifies for a for unity, please the man thirty time, winner of the best Napoleon imitator, the war from the George Orwell's

animal farm, appreciation society, and that is a hotly contested title. Fair play to the kid Mcgarvey might, of course, have been remembered as a hero who threw off the racist shackles of the imperial era. Had it not bean for the whole eviscerating, his own company, economically and politically electoral fraud, brutal repression, corruption, incompetence, leading aids victims die for three locations of hundreds of thousands of people, ethnic cleansing, general around tyranny, built beating up and or killing his political opponents. In a moustache, the unashamedly showcased his leadership style on his upper lip. Apart from that, you could've had a different legacy. You pick it all these, exactly, but I want to thank you yeah. I would rather be oppressed by my own, then be addressed by an outsider, I'm so all I I see where he's coming from, I see where he's coming from. He was a rings and bow in cricket as well, which I'm his greatest crime. Let history be the judge of that the revolution he turned it tighter classic, courageous, which it sounds as old as politics itself. It was for

finally ousted from office in a two thousand and seventeen ousting since when he failed to land another job, despite his impressive cv, is a desperate and that's despite reported interest from Hungary and Manchester United when Jose Marie NEO left. But it's a lesson to us all the the robot magaby. When someone tells you it's really time for you to do something with your life. That is not always good advice. There's one thing we from the life of Maccabi, more layabouts. My fondest mugabi memory is got to have a you know. It's like I had to pick one. My friend takes the. What saying hey tell me: are you out tonight and I wanted to expect, maybe, but of us of it wrong buttons and a Texas. What with my god that agave

We I knew him in school yeah. We we, we learned the whole like I'm a little despot shock top. We did that together and so I've I've really found memories of him as well. I think there's a similar thing to to your story at Omni original version of the Carly RAE Jepson, so Call me maybe was originally only looking. I didn't know that, let's see online things didn't like the gays magaby, not a huge fan, no scratch. Homosexuality is a filthy, filthy disease comments, echoed by one Andy's ultimate on every person that I've ever appeared on and he claimed that if Zimbabwe Toller homosexuality, the dead, would rise up against us. Well now

I'll get you to fly down or are you going to stop bombing Malloy across the country come and get me a dead? Are you even remembered by a lot of people who are in the sixties as someone who are sort of if the city today but pensions and destroyed today, incomes and didn't allow them to dial, and then, though, that all twenty five year olds who are like you know, but the guy that came off the? um was much worse, so we kinda miss him, which is just so damn millennia, the all one like you know. I remember the time when we used to shoot and chamber pots, because, because these modern toilets are too much very good, instant nostalgia millennials, I think yeah. So Robert Mugabe is in the Bin top stories this week, I have Britain. Is this always we've

Let's give you a quick summary of everything that has happened in british politics in the last the last seven days, but that would not be possible or indeed desirable, for anyone who wishes to be able to face the day with any sense of optimism or hope it does bring that awfully Kerr crazy week of parliamentary shenanigans of people. Actions not wanting elections, people resigning being turfed out crossing sides, Boris Johnson's brother quitting.

Was I'm Boris Johnson himself, I'm saying some truly extraordinary things as he as he tends to it, it's hard to say exactly what the situation is now because of not check for the last minute and a home, and also you know any listening to this until about at least twenty four hours after we recorded so frankly, who knows we might be a small province of Iceland, but all right, we just don't know, but Boris Johnson was that was lost at a at a question of giving a speech in front of a lot of police officers who apparently not being told they were going to be used. As a backdrop for some political grandstanding, I mean it's not the least kind of

in terms of visuals for standing in front of a lot of people in uniform, giving a political speech when it's not. It was not near a bug. It's me. Does he ask I'll be at best degree in a non consensual setting, but I I mean he was. It was a bizarre bizarre speech in which he kind of rambled incoherently for a bit and then he was lost whether he would delay Brexit me said I'd rather be dead in a ditch, then delay Brexit. Now I have a number of issues with one: it's always you don't trade, two yeah I mean it is his life. I'm not gonna tell I live. It or not to live it. Three. This is typical, Boris Johnson, just anything to get on the television his own corpse in a ditch. You can just in dinner conversation Dominic, Cummings, whispering in his ear, prime minister, I've got another plan to make sure we control the news agenda for the next forty eight hours do tell Dominic. You know how people are weirdly obsessed with unsolved crimes

dead in a ditch or delay brexit. Even in this world, of unnecessary binary choices are those. The only two options is that referendum put that to the people. Should we delay exit or kill Boris Johnson dump him into a ditch, ditch your delay. Now I am campaigning for the ditch vote. I know it's a complex question with a binary choice, but I just think that making Boris Johnson dead and putting me in a ditch is what we need to do to take her cunt back right, he's putting the question to the people he's cam running it. Ok, he's running he's giving us his options right. He just floating the idea to see how it plays in the polls and then we'll see. Do we want him dead? I mean I don't want Boris Johnson dead in a ditch

come in and let the troll he sings lead, but I think it will keep them humanely, fed and sheltered and alive, but in a ditch. Yes, I am ironically, of course you know he says he wants. We did the days we will be done and it for very long. So it's gonna point is because people are dead and if you tend to get removed from date, she's on health and safety grams. Thank you, Brussels. I just bought out little promises to should be due to be decomposing in a day if they want to, and it's a common institute, typical, Boris Johnson and it just you know, wanting to get the newspaper headlines, Prime Minister found dead

the dates. Police suspect, overdose of breaks at the mall, and I got its classic. The classic motions and it'll be hiring for his family. All the people have to clean up his mess and also one for one final thing: why it h? Why not? Where is the patriotism and not everyone has ditches one: oh good, Anglo Saxon Barrow of the old, Anglo Saxon burial mound, proper british Barrow. I'm sorry, I think he's not a real poetry twenties and where is his hands the sudden? This makes so much sense. You know my favorite thing about that when he was using the we need during that speech in front of the book he's with

one of the cops nearly fainted? Yes, it was like. I think she means, because she was like. Oh my god, it's an option be dead in a ditch e had one of those like joyful its wounds. You know it's also possible that she was just took it upon herself. To be a metaphor for Britain as a whole, a cz, the provinces that and proceeded to talkers lucidly as a turd in an engine, so Aditi was saying to me before we started recording that you've been trying to understand, british politics on the house how's that going um not very well. I the only thing I've understood so far is that Boris Johnson seems like an instagram influenza like he comes live and then he says nothing and then he said of sentence. These like massive sort of mandates, was like. I would rather be dead in a ditch and people on

not like yeah. Ok go die in a ditch, doesn't mind, boggling that like yes go ahead, kill yourself in a ditch, so that's that's kind of what I've understood so far. I've seen Jacob Rees. Mogg, yes, which sounds, sounds like the scientific name for like a swamp insect he looks like a human straw. And be on the inside. I don't understand what what happened? What happened? What was happening in that discussion? Were they not discussing the dye part of do or die that he was sprawled out like One of his french girls be drawn like what was going on. It was truly extraordinary for those who are not even not seen it is worth looking at him, lounging across the seats of the House of Commons, as parliament, fretted and frost about the defining issue of the times of the country tearing itself apart under this unbridgeable chasm that was chiseled open by Jacob Rees, Mogg and people like him, and he was

lounging across these seats like some pre raphaelite lovely. As if to say, I will now find myself sexier than I do now. He had a full raging whole body stunk on for himself. I think of that one, and there was outrage. The voice British thing even evokes all the horrors. The economic crash that will result is a no deal. Brexit people still find the time to be out about slouching and not having foster the house of covens slashing in the House of Commons, was actually punished. By death right up until one thousand nine hundred and sixty four, the only exception for that role was in the House of Lords, where of course, the curvature of the spine is very common due to the inbreeding. So they do let them off. They did have to kill their butt in house of Commons. If you weren't pushing your shoulders back, he would be brutal start Jacob Rees, Mogg Father, various children, including daughters and Akron Easter, and her editor and sons. Billions and pompous. Also compared

doctor a very eminent they just told- should warned about the dangers of medicine shortages in the event of a no deal breaks Isshin with another doctor who had endangered the lives of thousands, hundreds of thousands of children by lying about vaccinations, which is the equivalent of comparing a mechanic who's warning that you that you might want to have new brake pads on your car. With someone who is just cut the brake cables. You both have something to do with you having a car crash, but doesn't like the morally equal. Some people jumping ship, Boris, Johnson's brother, Joe Johnson, is out I'm confused. I don't know whether I find Joe Johnson Attractive, because I I see photos of- and I think oh well, but I think I just My brain is so used to seeing Boris Johnson, who looks like a hairy to Dale and that it sees Joe Johnson of things, gosh, there's been a real improvement here, like it's so much better than the others of. I think. Boris Johnson is Joe Johnson's, Dorian Gray, paint

That's how I would describe it but ask about the departure of his brother. The prime minister said: look people disagree about the EU the way to unite the country, I'm afraid it is to get this thing now. I'm not sure if that was one continuous sentence with it just half way through he let out a moment of terrified honesty. Some people like the way to you not to come, sorry, I'm afraid, oh god of afraid, is to get this thing done tone of voice. Yeah I thought I just read in the Texas. If that works you not to come. Surely we can agree this void. That, however breaks it happens, it's not going to unite the country not like say would be to get back to the d dot the country's likes going to get more tanks on the straight to Hell over and chill out a bit more. I think the only it could result in the notes in the country is that if, if, if we accept that we operate in his company yeah, it currently sort of sliced into various bits,

is it will essentially liquid always Britain locker some look of neutral blast and had them and they will come together some sort of national milkshake. I don't know if someone is simply be shut out. Yes, possibly I mean research. That's that's not to say that my whole, I'm. The judge Joe Johnson said there was a an unresolvable tension between the family bombs and hit his loyalty to to Boris Johnson against the national interest of Boris Johnson himself, made that call long ago, loyalty to Boris Johnson, the head of everything else. A number of people have have is treated in a mild and us about calling Boris Johnson Boris rather than Johnson. Is it sort of over familiar note? This irritates will be when it doesn't is kind of difficult when the there's a at other Johnson's involved. So from now on, I will endeavor to cool Boris by his his his correct name, which is of Dominic.

I have to admit, though, than the my favorite thing about this entire big. That thing is the weakening of the bond, the bonding of the bone. What a joy a joy a I used to worry about exchange rates all the time, and now I whip out my debit card and I use it to buy the depression medication that

with the state of the world. So thank you that is one upside down that is out of the I can get a refund on my visa. Is it possible to write change that already they go over the last second and yeah, I'm afraid, I'm afraid not not thing. We all, but probably at some point, going to go back to an old fashioned pig based Beltre an economy is really what might Britain gray in the first place, the will must defections. As you said Tom. I want us much defections. Is it expulsions as well? That was a glorious moment when Philip believe the Tory MP left the conservative policy five seconds off. The Boris Johnson have stood up in the House of Commons to stop talking in the brexit debate this week and he to source on the tv coverage. Partials is always just drifting drifting to the right as the sole

he's parliamentary majority of what I'm walking across the chamber to to do. It said on the liberal Democrat banks: look in north the ice hockey black it's going to take a little and will cancel the company says, but I haven't seen them walking to like Daniel gets a big story. I river this. He has brought this upon himself of being a provocatively device within his own is on policy and, as Machiavelli himself wrote. If you put your on a barbecue, someone will think it's a self that he might be sacked. They suck twenty one of their own Mps with this majority now minus one, but then sucks twenty one more board removed the parliamentary wait. Now, if you don't know what parliamentary with saw well, frankly, congratulations try and maintain that ignorance, because it is one of the most baffling elements of of a

politics is has something to do with parliamentary bdsm. I think it is something very much along the I mean. Basically, that is what democracy is, and it's just a question of who has the wit and who has the Jennings works? It is Britain's like Tavia spank me that a thank you yes on for, recently we've forgotten the safe word and those electrodes on your balls are firing like crazy. I just have to take your word for that, so they Twenty one tour impatient voted against the government in the the by on on good spicy controlling the legislative agenda, this pro Rogan of of parliament, twenty one, a including many full former cabinet ministers, bulwarks of the conservative party over decades and and decorations for the crime of not voting with the government. Now this crime, of course went.

He's my was prime minister was committed by basically everyone who is now in a position of authority in the cabinet. Now we're going to have a manufacturing sector anymore in Britain, but we can shift a hundred megatons of hypocrisy for there's been so many defections. This week the british Parliament said more defects than a household appliance manufactured outside the reach of the regulations that the that's, what I'd say: Luciana Berger left Labor Party back in February. She I believe the party was inside, usually anti semitic. She joined change. U K! She is now join the liberal Democrats. A party so committed to anti racism and fan is the accepted former Tory in Pay Phillip Lee a man who once campaigned against immigrants who hi Chevy positive from being able to enter Britain. So it's kind of like quitting radio ahead, because you think the band's become a bit too self indulgent than a couple of months later joining a super group composed of Bonneau Book and Shailagh balls.

Now, despite all this to you, you want to fill with the the on the government and such complete disarray and the confusion bound and whether there's going to be this election will know that the government would be in real trouble, but the conservatives of ten points ahead of labour near us, I'm considering shuttling the opinion poll They run about think thirty. Two thirty three percent, but no, where near shortly as labor home Jeremy Corbyn has driven slowly into some kind of industrial, deep, freeze, the liberal Democrats doing unless ship, the the normal, but still quite shitty and, of course, for the first part, the post systems, I break the body and the Green Kondo's was a like, but they still won't get many seats in parliament because well was right. For Britain in the eighteenth century must be right. For Britain. Now so what we are in is actually on five mobile situation where, where the government is falling apart, but it's still in clustering position to win an election that is huge opposition to the government, but it's fragmented. It is kind of kaleidoscope of slightly different positions.

On them. There is no good way out of this. Now Corbin has been banging on for election for agent saying bring on election election to sound like actually hold hold my election. If that's cool yes! Well, I mean I'm sure it's like that. You know when Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins were sitting in that rocket. There might have thought we just give me a few more minutes in case That was badly. Let me reverse this line again. I hate to screw it up, but I learn who we turn to for advice. In these troubled times and like you want somebody smart, like apartment, powerful commentator was knowledgeable about the way the world works and well, I imagine you probably want to turn to former australian cricket Legend Shane Warne, exactly absolutely sure whether it's doubtful truth he's waiting normally. I would think that would be so ridiculous to ask your curricular there. Picking on a complex political system but at this point it breaks it. I'm like why not ok, Wanis braid is so addled with alcohol and sexting and hairline treatments. Maybe he'll be

It's so little with some like lateral thinking, he's bright might be bold differently. He was asked what he thinks about the whole thing he's telling Britain to just get on with it, which is very hot. Take under the you know what else to come up with that. So thank you already. He did say bars is good. Everyone's great get on with it, and I love that everyone's great, but Boris is just good in flag Boris. Is so shit as a human being he's not even included in the term. Everyone which, I think is a pretty sick burn from warning

I'm I mean there are certain subjects you should listen to shine warm the off of like been building yeah he's excellent insight from the greatest exponent. Creek is most difficult. Skill also can be very informative on the game, pasta pics of which she is a vocal fan. Judging from certain excerpts of his great great come to talk to talk about the game post, the pigs for a good fifteen minutes about the and is on question, we had a terrific guy. I guess so. Your LEO is, and then this guy came up with get on with it. Yes, this this, this is advice that could accompany you as a goal. The goal line to walk well. To be honest, the great problem is not made in the of the suggestion of getting on with it. It's just that. No one knows what eighties we need to follow up with you. We will

yes, and it is a phrase generally used by people. Who've not really thought through will eight days old what it will result in scope. No news, now, a day to you all the peoples, legal correspondent has been some sensational a court case in what I normally I studied law of physics. I dropped out of the company, but now you go all I mean all eyes as a woman on a specially as an indian woman on the internet, this is a subject. I'm an expert on that's right in Toulouse. France took each call Kaname two more weeks on his own accord, green to court, because this call was growing.

I'm not talking, I guess I'll, add six d every morning and therefore winning what is there to really country holiday expedience. Having said that, though, this call because all won the case, which is normally the case with most I'm the odd the though a couple was ordered to be this call, our one thousand your toes, which is that is nothing was then e cock more than a rich thought in that case that I've been asked to pay a paltry sum, and it's been a really tough week, pull it politically and like this is a human in this country and I feel like we don't need Thio feather the pain. Feather. The Pantages. Do you say, feather the pain now I didn't know now. I wouldn't say that I never would- and you deliberately miss heard me actually- there hasn't been this much drama around a friend cock since Lou

the 14k, the got very essentially cocking a snook at this couple and they complained declaring that animals noises are a part of France is heritage, which also explains daft punk's latest album, but a cock that grows at six hundred and thirty in the morning. Could this be A friend's cock, that's woke! That's my that's my thank you so much Good Indian Moon, landing news now Spice, as I was an indian woman on the internet, this is a subject of my expertise. Unsolicited

India is going to buy a two hundred and fifty for one hundred and fifty five a dot m this morning, depending on when you're listening to this podcast, there will be a victim on the surface of the moon tonight, Chandra into which has left a India's orbit. A week ago has answer the phone dropped off. It's a lunar module door under the surface would be the first human space thinking clearly come on. Give me this correspondence following I'm sorry, but if you don't know that really, Tom's, Adam but it's no humans on it on the bottom that it's a human made human mind. Alright, that's the correct! Am I apologize? I apologize my degree in human space. Stinkies confines me. Sometimes that will

landing closest to the South Pole all of the moon, also when attempting a sort of a voice call good on the surface of the moon. So you know one of the greatest things that I it's like right now, they're gonna be watching. It live as it descends. On the surface of the moon, the Prime minister is gonna, be watching. With a bunch of schoolkids I'd won in the night, but I don't know what he's doing with all these kids a week on the line. Having said that, one was delightful things about this. Is that to be a thirty days off the siege in to crush me? That way, we don't know what's happening in crush mean what we could watch live for days, all the lone. So what are the the during that? The that the India

Moon Rover will will moonwalk Alice one centimeter per minute, and this is the same speed managed by humans on a crowded Mumbai station platform, and the error is landing that temperature can vary between a thousand celsius when the sun shines and minus a hundred and seventy Celsius, which is the same as in Britain. If all winching about the weather is, and he felt apparently the then there's two there's an old picture and a rover and Lambda, and that they're going to at this office is gonna, take self weeks, millennials spice girl so that's how human space things will rocket. Well, that brings us to the end off this week's a bugle do tune in next week when we will have lost weeks, bugle

and depending on what happens in Britain. We may have next week, Google next week as well, so we'll see we'll see what at in the main, so I'm also exciting tennis, Serena Williams, age. Thirty eight is playing Bianca and rescue the nineteen year old, canadian and I think this the biggest age gap in a grand slam, tennis final full that school in Layman's terms of a long time and welcome striding plenty of certain Williams when she will equal Margaret Court's record of of most grand slam. Wins, I think, is twenty four and the big question is: can Serena I eat Eagle Margaret Court's record and be do it without then becoming a religious fundamentalist to heights? Guys the challenge for Serena? I believe it is a radio things could probably pull off both of the year. Good luck, Margaret Cole, the first of all right,

on the cricket: do tune into the unbelievable part tune into a podcast tune into it. Only just seems to be the right term to use that I do with Felicity Ward about about the ashes at this year. So a bangle, my cricket too much on the bugle last week, do listen to unbelievable a cz. The SIRI's comes towards it's thrilling conclusion: a couple of gigs to alert you to Alice Fraser Bagel Co. Host extraordinaire is recording savage, brilliant stand up show on the tenth of September, the Malt House Theater

Melbourne, Australia to Stevens and has a show at the Union Hall in New York on the fourteenth of September and they're. All bugle live shows in Glasgow and New castle on the seventh and eighth of October. Do go to all of those, but don't fly that because it's bad for the environment just run very fast. Do you have any shows to plug in ninth through fourteen the off September I am performing at so with Peter and on the thirteenth there would be a special recording of foreign online now platform, and so please come by a tickets available on the internet. Tell me anything to blood. Well, this comes out on Saturday tonight to have my final night of the Soviet of my show enough and then I'm just around just just hang around the resistance via phone toll on a bench, the books that I know, but I know that, but no, no, some people. You know that, and I well I I'm I will

the back it's over theater with my annual end of year and is ultimately the certifiable history show in December and January, details, forthcoming. Thank you very much for listening vehicles do enjoy the spectacular sights of Britain tearing itself limb from limb over the next few days and worry about next week. Till then we'll play you out with some more lies from our premium voluntary subscribers to join them to contribute whatever you want to the people on a one off or recurring basis, go to the local golf dot com and click the donate button. It's now time for the lights John Forrest frequently wonders if there is any more tragic creature in the universe than the ambitious goldfish I mean just imagine. Nicola Lawson thinks that,

given the enduring success of ice hockey is a sport, other tradition only non ice. Based sports should try an ice based version. She would particularly like a sea ice pole, vaulting ice trample, leaning on a bubble, ice horse racing David Murphy quite likes the Eiffel Tower, but would prefer it if all the gaps, grout it anonymous donor M S, heard about the hanging gardens of Babylon and thinks that no matter how badly behaved the gardens had bean that was way to serve their punishment. Petter do rates calculated that climbing the one thousand eight hundred and forty meter high Mount Everest was equivalent to going the stairs at his house, approximately two thousand four hundred and thirty times out, probably in the year, both the amateur mountaineer, it's no big deal, but it's a hell of a lot safer anonymous donor, be Yes, once spent fifteen minutes, admiring what he thought was an intriguingly modern stained glass window in a shop

before he realized that it was in fact a television showing a prolonged safety exchange. Defensive reminded Snooker match James Vincent does not think the hammerhead shark has been correctly named. Realization came after he tried to use a toy replica, hammerhead shark as a hammer. It did not work, he injured his hand, invented and automatically rotating lid and and automatically rotating jaw, but forgot to make them go in opposite directions, so has quietly shelved the products for now Naruto thinks fewer countries would go to war if the United Nations banned all weapons. Apart from from the toy lightsaber and all four is a military transport. Apart from unicycles David Alan, despite not being the nineteen sixties, England Cricketer of the same name, sometimes wakes up in the middle of a dream in which he's been selected as an off spin bowl of England in a test match against West Indies at the oval in one thousand nine hundred and sixty three a match which, of course, Alan the cricketer was not selected.

Simon with them thinks national productivity would be improved in all countries. If the main evening, news bulletin conclude with the news reader saying. That's all for today now bedtime come on. You can an start in the morning off to bed with you and Michael Ford, does not think pigeon racing will ever be as big as football is a global spectator sport, but does think that something, One of eleven aside game involving trying to get a ball into a goal played by pigeons might be absolutely sensational here. And if this week's lies.