The Bugle Audio newspaper as you all work. I viewed lesson and welcome to another instalment of well. This is going well. The weekly assessment planet slide down the rankings. There is the vehicle broadcast, Oh, I am and results moon for that my power, for I am a picture, this destroyer of worlds. Sorry, I promised myself I'd, never use those words again after a failed as a chat line for the eight hundred Firstly, it is a Monday twenty eight September, twenty twenty missions issue. Four thousand one of you sixty seven of the bee, which, by coincidence, the number of times the following things have happened in the past week since we lost by to each other the average british persons. What what's the news and said what now Boris Johnson is muttered the words this is the worst fast, the impact ever footwear.

Lil pump so sad. That is never a handful. This game is killing yourself, but we're supposed to have responded. You have a point, but maybe try dressing me. Cancerously explosive, destructive plutocracy of the wealthy are clouds when you're trying to work out exactly how I feel self so that we are there. We are another week on, as we await expecting me for season for handmade termism might frothy escape. As I was calling you think it was so I expect the end of civilization were excited and spectacular, less so so here we have a bugle to keep going joining the nicest week of joy around the world from Austria I wish razor hello, buglers, how you should notify you must do. Let's go for Google witness everyone, You need not be fine than here listening to her class satire of. Nor do they really draw how's, that Australia,

Estonia seems to be doing comparatively well in the stakes of of collapsing, where collapsing to her marginally slower rights than other major countries. It because we are not a major country that we like to think of ourselves as such, but yeah it's it's not bad adjustment. The weekend, looking at some cows rewrote Andrew out of that work. They looked back classic fuel costs confrontation and also joining us for rather closer to where I live in the shed in South London AIDS Markdale. And they absorb jealous of unanimous in Australia words just with this all, for they were going to have a second. Why even a third way, even though

you get locked down. You got desert each out there. I wonder now I can't be confined to this nine hundred square miles now, she's, just at all, for which all just so miserably predictably wrong. When I got a few weeks ago when they were carried boys, just don't go out what you gained the palms of often a lot so clearly the OECD thing out. There must be something I don't understand, because the reason that the numbers come down here, because we ve all been in doors not be enough. So when we gotta go up again, why? Oh there's a trip from the type we turn the off? Let's turn it on again and tat one, but he's gonna stop drippy when utility only get is NATO, diabetes, miserable rigour,

we all thought he had been faced. Man you're looking at it from a different perspective, politicians looking you're looking at it from a cause and effect perspective, whereas politics like two separate cause and effect the calls by someone else's fell and the effect is your manipulation of those statistics to prove to be what you wanted to, but evidently, on the twenty ninth of September in four hundred and eighty BC, the battle of salamis to place the gratefully under the mystic least defeated. The personally undeserved sees the first who have no answer to the greek barrage of strongly flavoured cured, meet sausages, If I remember the details from my degree accurately on this day in two thousand and eight on the twenty ninth of agenda. Two thousand the DOW Jones fell sick. hundred and seventy seven point, six eight points its largest single die loss following the bankruptcies of Lehman Brothers in Washington, neutralise funny, isn't it

seemed seems almost charmingly nostalgic. Now. Doesn't it just a massive global banking collapse? Gonna happier simpler times were YO catastrophe almost seemed just lock and lacking in the financial markets. We couldn't, you could You want to fool, seen those bankruptcies happening in the collapse around that well know unless they had one of the following red qualities: full sites, hunting sites for basic arithmetic. knights of September, one thousand and sixty six, William, the conqueror landed in England, beginning the Norman Conquest. Of course it's been downhill ever since really landed in Sussex. If you'd landed in can I would have kept them out music, no problem Today there is a tendency to six will in the conqueror landed in England, beginning the Norman Conquest, he's been downhill ever since, but to mark this, we have this week

section in the Bin. I free new part by part audio tapestry chronicling Britain, from twenty twenty in the start of the buyer tapestry that such shouted, the at the Norman Conquest end to construct your first audio panel. The history, Britain, twenty twenty onwards, construct your own seen from the following component parts. I smug later sitting on a throne, a group of falling courtiers. I sinister looking bold man, a crowd of people holding their heads in their hands in despair, a naughty looking virus, a confused doctor and a very disappointed baby. That section, in the bed. That's all this. We will assume its unless you have a closer look at the latest. Didn't Britain mule? I will turn to the champion tax issue later later. In the show

we often these now about them. While someone is hard to look look, look, look down is a thing of Germany's probably about to say: that's your look down his spiritual states and we are all free within ourselves and them then just shut up sought advice and it's so partakes whether we could have predicted that when students went back to university, but I won't stand clubs to each other before fresh as weak as always involve students just getting in it a new site going out into green land, at least what about that? The figure with the right. So you got the age. I sat the irritation activities, not what did he's working with its, but it's not an age. I sat because they ve, given it to this private company circa. So it's an energy chase up in the same way the Kentucky Fried Chicken does an age is bucket of chicken. We either men or die even annoyed club. Does a night s Duncan color

in the course of its nothing to do with it. I just but you just one zero just take applying, for it all also saw the track and thrice between April track and tragic world Peter will be boiled. Beach are gaining change, tack and trades by the end of may and then it was the end of June and July and September a now. He said this this week. He said it doesnt, really what it doesnt affect. The thing he said was six cubs you'd. Think I guess what I did

It doesn't matter child losing losing a rice, scope was needed and modern would enter into moved, nor yet they got only sir come company. You know they sub controls worried about it. I've subcontracted the work, hundreds of millions of pounds worth of contracts that I go. I made some contracted out to companies such as debt collecting agencies uneven, but with tracking you gotta be ready sanctity brought. We want to find out where you were A debt collection agencies open the companies are now before they sensitivity. You had been an oil ease, nothing for a barbecue were weak like any car, psychic he'd, salient slag, give us

We thought of what is most shred of optimism when you listen to the conspiracy theory restore you know what they're doing that they're trying to kill all the old people, because they are too expensive for their pensions or something I think all now they are. Then this is the dark. This thing they are utterly uselessly incompetent. If I had any conspiracy, they couldn't John Paul everybody. Does this go wherever it is? No more than six people can gather anywhere a blessing to the gathering of these four out of every three must be

side during daylight and must hover like a humming bird popular with one point: five people extra louder than as a public, and you are only allowed to extra people in a house. If you Bertha two of your family, you make space with a maximum of note people at any time. If you find yourself in a room, you must leave, immediately. That's your lot clearer than anything I offered the rhubarb unless hunting grouse, Louis, I'll get those gives kill or be killed. You know, they're gonna, lockdown protests that what they should do is just mutually sacrificer grouse at the end as

closed hawk that some justification or the story, what about in town recorded loss was allowed to report in a field at the big Stratford upon a United stand Stratford when I even we're? Ok, let's do it a field with thirty people. In this massive field, though it around, while I was determined to digital troops, stood on a tree, Stump right as the studied Shakespeare began mind it's the only time I ve ever done a writer recorded where a punch line was twice interrupted by geese bless them. Other thought gone before the gun about shop, one of them

it could have been a proper issue in parliament would have been allowed to four thousand. That's what this is. The other shred of optimism, I think buglers, is that I think people in Britain more and more people saw a thinking. This is all gone horribly wrong. The terrible things so six months ago was all this madness. going on a bit with a good, well the government's doing the best he can, including more people than in doing worse than any other country in the world. But even now the thing God, it's Britain, so Boris Johnson- was asked the other day. Why? If we had a worse record than almost any other country in the world- and he said because we are a freedom, loving protection, that's why We ve been worse because I can't help it. We go out the cover up. I'm we're doing

shopping basket? We Ripley off because we cannot help it could exceed our genes because we stood alone. They got a full. I saw not wearing a basque little boy plastered, it's just about. Although we do not want to use it for three hundred years. Every major innovation the world has come from Britain and that that's. Why we, of course, the boy but she's got of spread more Britain than anywhere else, because we invented the steam engine. So Stevenson's fault making the steam engine. I highly recommend a few suggestions for people who are trying to avoid covered in these troubled times one- is everyone should start debating so

and see other people's breath and away from us. I think that's very good. The second thing is that everyone, should have extremely loud air horns, because no one wants to come near. Anyone with an air of one more open- and the third is damn it? Nor did it with a few because Would you, with the science and the third is to avoid anything happening after ten p m, because that's when the vampires come out and spread covered their like they like The thing about vampires never forgets is that their essentially very large mosquitos. may I just silent movie stuff, where you watch them going to the piano music? Can you don't hear the sound, effective, vampires floating around doing much more?

going much less sexy, so you don't get term either you don't get. Mosquitoes in italian restaurants was will hit at the crucifixes fraught that now than in France at again, are you quite running more either both useless things on a vampire, as it should be easy, but I am, I am deadly, the only thing that is not to be his garlic and running water and the daylight.

thing that happens to be cross, shaped accidental tweak, incense, consent, yes, but can useless and no more annoying we'll go we're taking down at the big threats to humanity one by one, and it has been a lot of criticism from within the conservative party of Further Johnson regime's latest Dick tat some of the Tories I've been saying that doing more harm than good will, which is not really the issue to be honest, it doing more harm than good, because I, as vitally while they were elected to do be because every possible solution to this situation does more home than good. The issue is the margin of victory for harm of let my assurances as a threat. To sum up,

no days in a row is beaten. Good wages good go from here: parameters, vote. Look at that as in Canadian, surrounded by the furious agreement under the educated left, the intelligentsia, it's very easy to make fun of forest Johnson, because he's got a very difficult job. Any makes it if he makes it look easy to be good because you look at him and you think God any idiot to do a better job than that underwater with one hemisphere, their brain tied behind their backs. Problem is that the skills required to be good at politics, don't seem to be the same skills required to be a good leader of the country, and it seems like a structural problem. You know, What are these they sing reveal the obvious the flaws and now the way we conduct our democracy like testing them

to be an airline pilot by having them runner hopscotch. It's not it's like a skill set, on the same scale said: yes, well, you look at the things he said to the country. In another, clearly that there is an issue of of trust now and yet it is a law disagreement basic didn't bay was, I would need more powerful local governments, less powerful level governance, more clarity from central government central government to get out of it. People should take responsibility, our own actions and they need strong, definitive rulings. Mc governments, everyone knows exactly what they can do. We need to support unclosed businesses, many to panic and not a virus, can control or laws. We need to do things better in the future and in the past and learn from Sweden. Stroke. Germany struck Johnny struck me

They didn't like Australia, Avenant Brenda from down the road to a fine stroke. Wherever people are allowed to watch sport will just follow them. Our Antarctica, Pangaea Venus or we just lead from Britain, because we all Britain, an instinct in our national commonsense men means we ve automatically done the right thing. So it's a and Johnson's, neither of them he suddenly made a speech last week is- and I know we can succeed. because we have succeeded before the problem with this is I mean I that logic is flawed and because a lot of things succeed unless file. I mean you, don't you wouldn't like you at that? Whatever the next Olympics is, you will not see Tain T be an hundred meters wheeling out Harold Abraham oftener than nineteen. when he bore olympic hundred metre champion saying what is a proven winner is a proven when you can do it

and also there's another clear if jobs and says we can succeed, because because we succeeded before before, there is an obvious flip side too. That logic given The amount of time to use king filed so in terms of pure probability is not looking too clever. He said this when the sickness took hold of his country. In March, we pull together in a spirit of national, sacrificing community. We followed the guidance to the letter. We stayed home protected. The indigestion they fastened lives. Now I know people can use whatever pronouns they like these days, and that is over well mainly a good thing, but I dont believe Boris Johnson can use. We involve sentence. Is that seems entirely inappropriate? He added the single greatest weapon would bring to this. Fight is the common sense,

of the people themselves. Well, thanks for a compliment, Mr Johnson, but when you are Prime Minister, that suggest that british common sense has taken a bit of a back seat in recent years and when the other weapons were bringing to the fights. Ah, you Boris Johnson, Dominant Cummings, Matt, Hank up the health sector. An overwhelming of confusion and an apt that doesn't fucking work as well about glowing of accolades anyway. I think yes, that's all that's very true, but I think you were asking for little shards of optimism. I think, as the statistics man, you will appreciate this Britain did achieve a world record this week because during Borys Johnson speech at one point he said it is absolutely important that we all keep to the rules. We must not breach the rules and at that point the greatest

The number of people a single moment said the same name, but forty million people in Britain. When colleagues, It was registered as an earthquake by size moment is around the world. We are one three on the dictum scale from which this issue does one girl, before we move on to the drug one more quicker british story and was of particular relevance to mark me. Kent border now, of course, can border

You instantly thing will ass Australia's number five and why someone is five numbers, five and six batman than undulates. You want all traffic accidents. Martin can only play three matches further back. A green schools in the legendary captain haven't border early in his career, but some Michael Goave announced essentially there's gonna, be a sort of day facto border for lorries entering Kent before they travel to the EU. Now, Mario from your your can cricket fan, Eve grew up in deserve the lump this London Nick London part of Kent,

yea I grew up in no. The disputed border town of timber dwells and its have you. How do you feel about our county becoming for it? He always go up in swaddling. Came so saw of just outside the law many back at, but it was but yeah. I think that they should go further with this. I think that some slowly should actually become part of France. I think more guy, I'm Ramsgate should both be called western mania, and ethics sitting born should be placed within the dispute, India, Pakistan Border, currently familiar. But I think that is something quite brilliant about the fact that most of king voted breaks it because they sick of foreigners, and now the population of king is gonna, be forty, eight million of which forty seven millionaire romanian truck driver stuck on the ring right at so I'd like some of the seventy three, I got that

it becomes a kick becomes. A country which it should do we'll have a team at the Olympics and we'll be marching right behind, came here, The opening ceremony does anyone from my old school. That means can you will not work any middle distance they those because all the Cape ones will go up behind him about our dead. Like the sun king, it yes, you say four. Forty, seven million romanian lorry driver only a slight exaggeration, Michael Goethe said they could be seven thousand lorries queuing and cannot Evans. Thousand that works out around about legal eighty mile for lorries. He described they say it's a reasonable worst case scenario, which by coincidence, is my online dating profile seven thousands of years.

it is worth taking, my control was all about it yet nor in everyone, an item I accuse so that goes right through London in that will go from dogma that go right or for UK right up to London, but worth it. Ok, we got passbook spectacle that boy don't Boyd cycle for seven years to get to force. People are gonna, be possible back a college boy never was in the first place, colorway level through a colony blue lot, which what why we need the bridge Navy Blue, really blew posts, but

these parties. Everything was flag, merely blue Blue, even the Norman invasion, had the sense the Martian can't quickly without causing trouble. When I, when I did, Hastings is part of the internal series, everything there is ten. Sixty six is a ten sixty six just club, sixty six vets, everything and then I came across a building company. Could we the concrete american Presidential Tax NEWS now and while exciting revelations from the New York Times yesterday, they approach an extensive report into Donald Trump, Sir Tax Affairs, an issue about the about which the usually forthright and job security.

Mr Trump has been well Demille, almost coquettishly reticence over the years, the first president since the seventies not parishes tax returns. It turns out That's not what I he's been putting the Rockets into tax bracket, the away into avoidance Annie. total disregard for ordinary people in the overall wellbeing of America into the he shows total disregard for ordinary people, never wellbeing of Amerika. The investigation, showed chronic losses in his business. Isn't years of tax avoidance extend way, pay just seven hundred and fifty dollars in federal income taxes in twenty sixteen and in twenty seventeen and no income taxes at all in ten of the previous fifteen years I mean you could have more the birthplace bowls of aid in a way of new. More I mean, I think the Americans will admirers like this- is a nation of tat but beggars, and religious zealots wulfric fleeing from the freedoms recently granted in England. I would you know,

the people who are very committed to a cause, and at the moment the causes capitalism. You can get away with doing terrible, terrible things financially. I think it will be good for his fallen on this autumn, and maybe the person has been sketched out time and fish will sort out. Studies of food on the table is that was last tower. The top police, now that there are all these any pretty much every day, does something that ten years ago, you'd go well, that's the end of it. Then he said now that doesn't by American Cellar Door Depew in for a dollar so that it does just that acts. Six with the badger, although I wanna be radically bicycle busied in drugs, Yogi guidelines that will be done, I mean people used to bemoan the hypocrisy of politicians who would pretend to be good?

people while secretly being bad people and in those big selling point is, is authenticity and I am for one long for the days of hypocrisy once more, a bring back and hypocrisy aspirational. You know following the m, the betting odds for the american presidential election and a story made absolutely no difference. As you say it's hard to imagine anyone, changing their mind on Donald Trump. Now you know exactly atrocity before when he was putting babies cages but to change a model from now on, be lobbying wrought rolled Amazon, getting two hundred yards from the southpaw before turning back and saying whether whether today looks as in Ghana,

freezing island well that a true three weeks ago to think I was slightly concerned that you're like with like an actor when they just want to mad halfway through apply in it. You think we'd left herself no way to go. I was gonna leave any spikes for a crescendo with the five weeks. There is money to date, because in a couple of weeks ago, he's done she bought one where we say we ve got people the spot. Tat Joe Biden is dangerous man, you got on a plane with people wearing black. The plane was full of people wearing black tat thing show you: where are you going so you design TAT way. I can give you know now, then, sorry, I work out of fashion thing. Is it a thing other forget it? Is it s all right? People in another,

right. Well, you're, like a joke about you made a joke about what twenty people were me and mark on the other side of the world, like a joke about what friendly people, where boy road I wouldn't get but people plant did you just so bad as applied in full of people as he bought. Many blackened go confused layaway outside Joe Bogs, a dangerous man, it watch Godzilla. He treads on buildings. I know people fantastic people, we demolish Tokyo, sat on all the buildings and people will go there. they're all possible ways of explaining why this suppose it's a bootleg billionaire as paid absolutely no tax other than the fact that he is a truly abominable human

being lights, all humanity responsible. They found a legal loophole whereby he can be tax on his spiritual wealth rather than his financial wealth, in which guys, seven hundred fifty dollars areas I've a bicycle. Secondly, that there is also the issue of what what is claimed is deducted expenses, cooling, aircraft and seventy thousand dollars for a hare stalling for his recent. Now look. I've done a little bit of Sally, very little billet sallies, I'm I'm not gonna, judge oversee the reason. John got the HBO job instead of me was because he was happy to go with five hundred dollars an episode on the head budget and I would go under a thousand Santa Monica Childish Trump

but this is issued for that one and sixty seven of the big. By coincidence, that is also the numbers. The old joke goes, the total employees of the Trump organise Asian it takes to change a light, bulb one to change the light bulb and four thousand one hundred and sixty six to be listed as light bulb, changing consulting US dollars about changes. The text of the New York Times that data published these details quite because the other she prime cause repeatedly ruled. The first amendment allows the press to publish newsworthy information that was legally obtained

reporters even when those in power fight to keep it hidden. So that's the first amendment trump. Clearly, no massive fan of the first amendment annually is at a place. A lot of gulf clearly a family of the belief that the Maleagans rule applies to amendments as it does Blida Gulf evident, nor the first one that comes out. You just move straight on to the second one and forget all about the first and loves that second amendment also Gulfy write your own card. It relies very much on track record. You ve lost your own cod and its yeah yeah. That's the way the taxes worked by yet for eight from Yale you just smart young card. I heard nothing with everyone else. Has another card has no one else can bring themselves to watch. Anyone else thing importance the first thing you ve got to go

does the golf course occasionally- and I did the only time in my life tat- I have attempted to cackle just these old men repeated mangled the bulls around and finally like yeah. Headed man life is encouraging her husband to play more gulf. It's because she wants him to be far away from irresponsible of us. Probably true when deciding which is coast was probably the first presidential debate tomorrow, as we record and once comical, because exactly what it trumpets recently smashed through the twenty thousand lies in office in Washington S law. ouch Eliza he's gone through. Twenty is broken. The record set by William Henry Harrison New rattled out. Nineteen fowls.

on four lies in its thirty one day presidency in eighteen, forty one with a nineteen thousand of them were him, insisting that he felt absolutely fine was about to die. About three of him was saying a congenital terrapins with my eyes shut and the last one was in claiming still to be alive. Other goose now, and I wish it were exciting news for you, as ceremonies was desperately wanted to go to the moon, but NASA has announced plans have a woman on the moon by the twenty twenty four personally of Europe as a man, I'm a bit fooled by this because they know where left that men can come around safe sanctuary for girls. just hang on the moon, replacing the last mile. representative of silence, the Atlantic will follow

give it a rag out just a place where, and can we make and women are allowed to have we may not Glee Club Shops Hospital ward? Soon Bing pose thrones seating areas in places. Religious worship up are not even allowed a single mood my own language is male only governments and green. But also of invent men, invented the moon, Alex because it is blatantly and I'll use is massively impractical and looks like a bull. then finally give out any of any woman to the moon, which I think is a nice move, the gender equality and a terrible move for the equality of allocated resources to the problems of our own planet. What does it matter if there hundreds of thousands of illiterate women living in poverty and dying by turns of preventable diseases and preventable husbands. If they commit turn this This is to the moon and think. Well, some rich american woman,

A period on that integrating the idea that representation in a we feel is an important and aspirational goal. I just think that people in general or less inspire will than they were in the sixties and were in an age now where people will hate ship just because the people you don't like like it. We want, to see the talking pop culture, discourse on the ghostbuster reboot in space, but well off in his mouth, Maybe a couple of national service really pleasant com. People are then offer women they would be wouldn't buy, that's an order.

Two other off get the g is the chief: what site got nothing on earth it all up going so panic attacks for this noise baby? No good! Would it we re, really atmosphere sounds terrified, its swift it. What it as it comes back into the atmosphere, swings from side to side, and it sounds like this all explosions going around in this sense terrifying and eat some boys and I'm Helen showman, the terrible yes, we're national denied the first British, yeah and she just exuded so of calm. She could go to the men to be broken up there. She is given a girl like Ridgeway. Let me when I got some implied four sets a teddy slipped. The cinema

copy order about pillar I'm just jealous cause, I'm not an astronaut really. Would you from being an astronaut got the moon? Let us look walking was always were important to get back to the moon, The twenty four big blue whenever for were not mistaken and then killings. In summary and upon my mission switches, this goal here has been a very disappointing lack of aliens. The food is shit. The golf course is in terrible terrible condition: Ah David

and brought news now and our some exciting news about David Atom, inflation Noma. Well, basically, the UK official National Grandad unease joined instead grandpa, enabling it to be at the grand attic presidency, no people's lives through the medium of her, wherever Instagram does best known, of course, There are some refers career, making, Zebra snuff movies and hardcore insect poem, really think he s an m spiders stuff. But so why is he joined? Instagram now Alex he's is receiving is now here I mean he has broken date. Jennifer sorry did a broken. Jennifer innocence intervene record for the fastest time to reach. One million followers which is being reported is news but, like

yes, obviously he's clearly a much better and more interesting person to follow on Instagram and he's come out, and he said he wants to share information on this new medium he's come out and and and told him dirty stories with Michael Palin and he's doing some great stuff on Instagram so far, which mainly involves him being David Attenborough people thinking well it given that were still alive. It can all be wrong. You know when the government should be flowing all the money they ve got, making short David Lattimer never dies or nothing. He has a duty not to focus cloacam. Buckler looked at, some is mostly the first Phipoe Swim, just pouting upwards camera held above his head, flatteringly lit, but some no doubt movements of origin Amira? What allows one I just can't wait to stop wasting first traps awoke lost, accessible

I beg your pardon, I put a thirst. Tat gentleman he's a silver slightly carbon overtly sexy selfie, which is posted in order to induce thirst and k arousal. In your view, Oh you know I didn't get a couple years ago, but had the ability to take talk, To sum up, just remind you of the inevitability of death, nothing's the end of this week, Bugle obviously shows the plug and, of course, the wonderful last post, the Beagle sister show from earth. Another dimension, yes under the upper house in also like the planned looking at cows When you look at them and you look at them and go all, they should be.

Ruminants on australian soil, we don't have any native animals that have Hodges and you breaking up the the delicate topsoil of disrupting the ecosystem in the cow, looks back at you and go as well then said, Lady Isabel, and TAT was? Nature was more when you're in terms it is next on the already of whether those out I've got the wandering Stratford the gates, interrupted, we really could recall was brought in and out of it I would recall the other ones so that there is a serious thought I can plug that will be broadcast in two thousand and seventy six and some really really hope the people listen to that between now and then

I'll probably be driving Amazon Van Gogh, while not happy now that set out all is left for me to say, is to run. mind you beardless, to take advantage of the new right people much which has us by crises modeling very, very sexually, for us to be very sex. Leads your face. Andy! That's! That's the Yom! It's very hard to were of a badge of my face and without exuding a rule. Almost animal sitting beside the review will merge tee shirts caps socks, badges stickers, the Christmas jumpers available for pre order. I gotta be repercussions, com and click the merged button Nathan was, I join our voluntary subscription scheme to help the bugle

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