America we are setting out on tour in twenty twenty two are: first, it is a may twelfth in Boston, and then we had to New York City on May thirteenth and then Washington DC on May Fourteenth and then good old Philadelphia throw some batteries out of on May fifteenth. Then we had the Madison on June. Second, we had to Milwaukee on June third at Chicago on June Fourth and Saint Paul June fifth and then we had to Seattle on June, seventeenth and Portland on June, a get tickets at dollop podcast. Dot com- that is this year, twenty wanting to. You're listening to the dollop on the all thing, a comedy network. This is american history podcast for each week I surfer. Where of sweat,

ants maker love Dave, Anthony. Read a story from american history to my friend Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Really, I'm glad that's back and I'm glad that you've had time to work on your three Things and that they're get they get more glass for it, would you the people evidence of the people asking for it? Is it possible for me to see an email or tweet petition yeah? Is it possible for me to see the petition no Buzzfeed started a petition Buzzfeed Buzzfeed is a news, online situation for news a very good and they

They found that a lot of people were, as they said, Missis Hamley now go through. All of that, just a document taken is all asking for just some evidence towards the fact that there was a petition. Your words asking for you to come back with these three things that are less than you character type that it was described as an emptiness. In the Heartland of America so I have two. As you know, I'm a people pleaser and I respond positively to any sort of Criticism of the pod casts. Now. Am I test that there's a lot if I may just be made quickly? There is yet if you ask the people who use the thousands of people you ve blocked on Twitter. They will tell you that it is you like TAT, you like feedback. You want to hear feed. I want to hear what you think I especially the negative stuff. I want to hear it. You feel like it, how you find

find the truth that you need. As far as how do you like notes. Yes, I love notes, it's something. Step is a writer a long time ago. I love to hear what a great note. So what that was like is. It must be Noting you must be an honour and a pleasure. This episode is brought to you by the Jordan Harbinger, show its atop debutante podcast named best of apple in two thousand and eight teen, as guess he interviews, people super fascinating people, get some Mattel secrets and and share their skills and tell their stories I, the conversations and these people are all the top of their game and he turns their guests wisdom into practical advice that you can use. One really cool thing that harbinger does is: he has episode, starter packs, so there's a collection of top episodes organized by popular topics. So you just go like

disinformation or activism, or resistance and revolution. Communication called scams, Oliver and stuff just a bunch of topics, and then you can just kind of go through them. If that's what you're into I have been listening to some episodes and it's a really cool one with Frank Barossa eps of forty eight, the world's greatest counterfeiter, so Barossa counterfeited, two hundred fifty million dollars in India, us fake currency, and then he got caught which It's that that's why we know so now. You're a security company highly recommended check it out. It's crazy, crazy story and then right up my alley: ecologist Spencer Roberts in episode, five, ninety nine, the dirty truth about corporate greenwashing Spencer's engineer, ecologist writer, Specialize in exposing corporate science, propaganda and green, washing, which super interesting topic, and it goes into the house. If is dolphins?

if tuna and what's up with microplastics, so a bunch of different stuff that he talked about, and I really enjoyed that episode. So Jordan really gets into the minds of people. He's got a really good talent for getting his guest to share stuff that they've never said or you've never heard, and he pulls out little tactical bits of wisdom to Jordan. Harbinger super funny super easy to listen to. We really like this show and we think you're going to like it as well. There's a lot to like Jordan Harbinger dot com, I start for some episode recommendations or Search for the Jordan Harbinger show. That's h a r b as in boy I n, as in Nancy G, are on Apple podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts. brought you in part by a Babel, I took french in high school, I didn't I don't know any French now so that didn't really work. Part parlay Voo

so I dunno what I just said, not the high point of my my academic career, but now we have Babel it's a language, learning app it sold more than ten million subscriptions. It's a funny way to learn a new language if you're traveling abroad, you're trying to connect in a deeper way with family, or you just got free time going to learn language I have started learning Spanish on babble. I want to get on L dollop, of course, our spanish version of the dog and the just talk to people that are in my life. You know what there's a lot of people. I know that speak Spanish. For me, Babel was a no brainer, because I got a little fifteen minute lessons that you can take on the go whatever's convenient for you Allah. other language, apps use a I for the lesson. Plans were babbles. Lessons are done by over a hundred language experts. You can fourteen fourteen languages, including french and spanish and italian and german

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in the peloton dot com to learn more. That's o n e p e l, o t o n dot com. We, the dollar pool, be in Australia or we will be on the 19th April. It's so soon. This is coming up. You can go two dollars: podcast dot com for tickets April. No, Hamer Hall, Melbourne, Twentieth, Adelaide, twenty Forest Melbourne again: twenty seventh Brisbane twenty nine Sydney, thirty of Canberra may First Sydney and then may third. and then also once we come back, we're going to be ready to party okay, we like to party, and we will be in America we will be at May wealth. The bar the Wilbur in Boston May, thirteenth, New York City may, fourteen Washington DC may fifteenth

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I in Australia. Also in April Dave I will be there doing stand up. I will be in full or ten, which is near Adelaide, celebrate April, First April, twenty second I'll be in Melbourne. The twenty third also Melbourne. or authority in North Bridge, which is a purse then I'll be may Fifth Brisbane. May six Sidney? May aid the camera, may sixteenth I'll, be back in America at Luther Ville to Mono Somalia in Maryland boobies, say day of May seventeenth I'll, be in Washington, Dc May I'll be in Virginia Beach. May 20th I'll be in Brooklyn June, eighth I'll be in Oxnard June, ninth I'll, be in Irvine and then June 12th I'll be in San Diego, go to Garrett's Reynolds dot com for all tickets Information and nudes, Tamar nineteen two year of our Lord Hain Soup, crease stall, have wished for

and- and you just told me before we started this- the app know, it's good news or bad news. Expanded, but with you three parts now Steven Seagal episodes are now relegate. That's a trilogy. I didn't think that was going to happen, but and in the end they so weary of Korea. we left off, The skull now, a bona fide action star he's just had its biggest hit under siege he's making sixteen million dollars a movie. It had, he has a huge house above Sunset Boulevard. He owns a ranch in Santa Ynez with the winery attached and then he got what every big star covets when every big star wants when they first hated thick

he learned is that the hosting gig on siren nightlife I'd, I believe we have blocked this out. I must have watched as Steven Seagal Saturday night, live you can't watch it because they've wow. It's script couldn't find it anywhere. But there's there's a couple sketches. He walks in the first day and told the writers and actors. He had never seen the show and didn't know what they did to good vibe good imagine living in America and having act. act like you, ve, never seen siren at life or really heard about what it is its little pale. But but again I mean when you're living this eastern lifestyle. No matter where you are you know, he's wears off.

Alright, I learned he's like that means not for this is that a guy who's had a hot dog or knows what it is the cigar who spend his life. You know Throwing people really far for millions of dollars and and then and that's what happens, only live your life is a dog and indulgent monsieur You make a good point. Thank you. during the week. He was very critical of the cast and writing staff, which is really so. If you want to get really funny stuff written, but he was prior like this guy's working at budging, this Dave aid, three sketch up all the time. Why does the focus on the show gear yeah? The first David Spade was stated space, and it was the first time that there was ever a discussion of just getting. The house and doing the show with the cast.

wow many people. So many many many people who have been on sign alive, as as actors have said, is the worst us ever. I mean they've, had Wayne Gretzky, which is a dark episode. Yes, so that saying some Julius Julius Sweeney said Stephen Pitch to sketch in which he would play a therapist to a rape victim. Oh my god, this man and not ready for prime time playing and then the comedy part is that as a therapist, he hits on her. I feel I got bad, don't feel. Second, the second part would be the dark night of the soul, just not a good start

I mean: do you know how fucked up of a human being you have to be to that is comedy I mean well What I like, because I I listened to our first episode the It really does, If you were saying about the women assistants who worked for him and the one where she's brushing her teeth and he's like, I, get over that moment, where he's like that, looks like when I come in your mouth, because it is it's it's it's not Let me to get it's just disgusting, it's wrong, but it's also. It's not! There's no charm, there's! No! It's like it's just a horrible, and it's just so graphic and that's like more of the same. It's like another branch on the tree of just staying where he's like, but here's. The twist I've fag two fucker.

what does everyone big for lunch it can order some Japanese, food for us and Japanese. If that is what everyone would like. You all are laughing so hard at my rape therapist. catch? For some reason? I think, as we get through this episode, think back to the toothpaste, Neither do I get my coming around and that is not about humor. Whatever that's about power right, that's making. Someone feel bad. Working on me so far, at what point. Stephen was pitched too being a HANS and France Sketch,

and he told Babo and cork. You can only do it if he could actually be the ponds and France the it's only funny. If I win that's a comedy, would enable the hope that you know the truth is the whole thing about being a Hudson S and out to some extent, is the ability to poke fun it yourselves, especially if you're void of talent, so Then he's not going to do that so course. It's going to be an uphill battle. That's right to accept himself as lowers badassery, The last sketch of the show is one that Stephen wrote Bob and Cook said it was eight minutes long. Steven brought in a bunch of stuff man. Who portrayed the Exxon Board of directors, and people tuning in just see a bunch of people who are not on the show right sitting around to start the sketch no unrecognizable right.

Then Steven enters at one point and just it's them all up so well at Dave. Dare we say that, while not funny, while not representative of the design of the show, the the plot is pretty good, eating the shit out of acts on executives. Well one thing we can say about Steven Seagal, that are the two good things are that he p truly believes that we should save the environment and he also very much wants to help animals, We can say about him. probably saw like a seagull in like an oil spill, and he was like those are my brethren. Steven Seagal get the oil of my brothers, so he beat up all of the Exxon. I mean we're talking about throwing people through doors, shirt on smashing tables that whole Ariel Sharon and

at the end after you beat them all. He turns to Cameron. Says quote: this is what happens when you pollute the planet. And then the end comes up. that's funny, that's the end of the sketch. It's funny. Definitely funny, and that he's just on the stage like Everybody is Stephen. What a great night is unbelievable. I wanted the cranberries, The reason they put the end up in a on which they never do inside alive is because nobody knew what has just happened. You mean they didn't show this stage. This thing he's up there and then up on the screen comes the end. So you at home, no it's over, because nobody fucking knew what was going on. I should have probably also had to start at it to just To be clear like I do. This is not an accident. I thought the cameras were maybe potentially accidentally rolling us. Okay,

sounds like even was. even worse, and, I believe, is the only person banned from sand that live for being bad at home. Again Michael Phelps Wayne Gretzky there's a list, yeah there's a list so Around this time, campaign manager and lobbyists in New Jersey, received a call from Stephen now, it met once in nineteen. Eighty eight, in Atlantic City at some party. where they only exchange to those that was it and then. Whatever three four years later, he gets a call I'm going to call him he's kept him answer, I'm going to call him to see him cuz. He want to remain anonymous. He never said his name. Okay, This is an innovative founded, the bachelor magazine, which is a really good magazine so ill. He doesn't interview with the bachelor this guy and explains what happened with Stephen, so out of the

Loosed even calls the cm and Steven asked him to come to allay to meet because quote looking to do something in the way of politics to see is like before I come out, we need to discuss Expenses and all this and Steven just goes how about fifty thousand dollars when he saw heat to him, the lowest denomination of money is fifty thousand. He sees no other like that to him as That, as as every I mean he's made us so much money so I guess it's just like his go to, but again he is throwing around fifty thousand dollar briefcases there too. our did he he's flying a guy out for a fucking couple of days or just a meeting about fifty thousand dollars, yeah, okay for sure yeah, absolutely I'll. Definitely, yes, yes, We don't even need to negotiate that.

So the guy flies out and Stephen has two very very large. Breasted women meet him at the airport. Sure, as one does that's death and then they take him to the take him to the limo and he gets in dilemma with them and they're not even driving. They are merely just there to greet okay. So there is a separate okay. Their greeting ornaments, basically right right. and he's asking questions and they just like get started. Stephen Steven we get to the office and they sit down. Steve it says, quote: you know politics, Should I get my hands dirty in it. This could have been a phone. call sir, and you could have saved yourself a lot of money. These fine women here did not need to waste. Their data need to go me a limo okay. So

The guys like. Why would need to see some polling numbers, Steven has a file, he says: if you open this and read it then you're in. If you, if you don't open it, You walk away, that's it, but he wants you open. The failure on board. This is called the Morpheus of pilot X, you either pill or wake up tomorrow on everything's the same, so the guy opens up the file. Jesus and shows the the polling results that he's done to this cm and the same looks at it and he's on board is like these are good, numbers. Apparently Steven has a legitimate chance local guy doesn't know. I'm guessing is that Stevens whole life is built on a foundation. of February and lying so the

action to reality is probably knit. Let me finish is probably not there. Because he's probably going like givers soon poll numbers this good Eighty nine percent every in every city- and then I was like, oh my god, can't you re. There are psychopath. This is amazing. Ok, it could be, It could also be they were real pull numbers but you're right it, probably not real, ok, the guy. it's on board, so he immediately is like let's go, Steven sense in that day,. you are condo. He had rented in into hunger. Ok, honey is next to my town, it it's way outside of L A yeah, it's Trump country, like it's just over the hill Trump country,. cerebral relish, but part of LOS Angeles. There's nothing there He has a reason for it. He says he wants everything done quietly it's

Watson working somewhere, where there's no show business and no politics you're at the way, our brave into hunger. Nobody will believe that this is happening plus saves me a little cash The sea, I'm hires a staff, sixteen people, jesus- The staff agrees to keep quiet when they hear that it's Steven Seagal, nay rare Stairhead quartered into hunger. That's where the campaign is headquarter, base, ok, correct. Stephen wanted the pulling to focus on his appearance, specifically his ponytail. yes, Dave, do How I ok, our politics, are vapid and have

no real purpose any longer. However, I still would think it would be in ten fifteen years. I think maybe the ponytail could be the because of a political ad, but it seems like a hard feature to base your campaign upon Hey. This is Steven Seagal Ponytail, and I approve this message. No, that's not it's now is going on here. wanted to know what voters thought of his ponytail, so the CM took two photos. Quote I had an artist retouch. The sex photo to make for more pictures with ponytail was for different lengths. What in God's name so he's got ponytail policy their doing polling

how much People will vote for him based his ponytail length that first one is and it's shorter right, and we all feel pretty good about that. Now next year, I'm show you guys a lot longer. Just twice the length like this more or less or about the same? What does everyone? Am I like that? It's why hunger, I feel like it's good, because it's more distinguished I also like the longer version of the ponytail it It's like he shows that he's committed to his vision. You, no matter what anyone says or thinks he is still if you do a longer ponytail, disgusted by what I see You're doing a comedy That is exactly what fucking happened. and I only alright I just for just

but just to try and call some more bullshit jet? Is he behind a mirrored fucking window watching all this go like at one point? He was watching. Oh, my god. He is Genius party tail focus groups, they took the floor. The deal, the old lady photos they? What okay, photos and then they determined like women like his pony women between like twenty five and forty like is ponytail the way it is men. between Thirty, five and fifty don't like the ponytail younger, people like the longer pungent like they literally broke it down. on how people would food for him. Politics is so hard because you can't please everybody with the length of your ponytail. It's Steve

Can I ask you out where you stand on abortion? Not right. Now, that's nail this ponytail thing down. First, we ve got to get this right So it's all broken down by demographics. and what ponytail length the plan is to run Stephen as an environmentally friendly Republican against Diane Feinstein in ninety. Ninety, four: for the: U S, Senate seat, I could have been worse and To use a speech his character would make the end of the movie on deadly ground as his stump speech for the campaign. Now this This is went on. Deadly ground is just a script and. It is now in the speech in on deadly ground.

Famous for being ridiculous, because it's like eight minutes long and he's talking anger, ok and its generationally fourteen minutes and its image trip is fourteen minutes and he's just talking to camera right or no he's talking to someone in the movie he's giving a speech to people okay, but the movie is cutting with montages. You know violent year, stuff. So. This is his stuff he's. Like his plan already written my stump speech, it's a character speech, it's a monologue, but by the way, what I mean it's all absurd, but not too far removed from politics okay, now we're getting somewhere are internal numbers said fifty four inch ponytail, he could beat Dianne Feinstein Fishing, three thousand to forty seven shut up. What is happening,

is the CM like what am I doing. This is not hi Stephen sell. The good news is, if your ponytails for in your ally, but that's tough, to commit to, though huh yeah. I know it. Certainly be tough, but anything else. You lose independence so. The that's a minimum right, that's a six point that's the minimum. They thought they get. They thought get easily beater by ten points based on their polling. If grow a few men and let it touch your, but we were talking a landslide Steve. Have you thought about bangs The reason he does not run is because Very, very rich guy, Michael Huffington entered the race as a Republican also who's gonna use seven million of his own cash in the jail. The primary and stay

only want to use two million of his money, so he didn't think he can match him. So he decided not to run. Now. At the time the CM said Steven was considering running in nineteen. Ninety six quote and if he wins, I don't see what would keep him out of the White House in two thousand, like that, I mean after knowing how two thousand is out. We are talking about a back to the future two timeline where Steven Seagal had a probable chance. And we have to go out to those sixteen played out well got right. I think David Cigar could run now would probably be no Paul. Well, I've made of lobbies that depends on the length of his ponytail and weird shoe polish goatee. Imagine like getting like going to school to learn about political campaigning

and then finding yourself in to hunger. six working on polling data for Steven Segal's ponytail, it's like. Is it always like I've never worked at another camp. This is my first one where they've worried about the like the ponytail. For sure this is my third campaign, and this has never come up before. So it's not always like that. so I feel like we dodged a bullet cars. Who knows who knows what could have happened, I mean I feel, like we've, also been riddled by bullets. Stevens next movie was on deadly ground, which is the movie were just talking about an action in a Marshall. Its action, film of an environmental message share It originally have been title Rainbow warrior, but changed share. The reason I was mad. Cuz Warner wanted an under siege two

so they agreed to let Stephen direct on double ground. As part of the sequel deal he's directing I mean he, he really does have. No, like I mean there's no car Mattoon it. It really just does show you how stupid especially in the nineties. The action film John Reed was, but even then you know the the gumption to feel like. You can also direct these. Things after having no, except when he was just like a liar? and now it is not only to bring these movies he's, writing them, he's directing them and their fucking succeeding. Morale Gillislee! Well, let's not say that out on deadly ground, It is a bomb okay and this time It becomes widely known, Hollywood. That Steven is packing,

everywhere he goes. You shitting his pants when someone puts them in a head. That's correct but I was watching a video in chains and as someone who's Chuck Norris what they thought of Steven Seagal, his fighting ability and he was like well, he carries a gun like that's. So what do you think of that?. Then, let's, let's say this and I went to jail Rogan for this, because I believe this is one of the only areas he actually has expertise, but talked about that a. Is that what it's called that the he it's not it's, not it's not, Actual it's not I you would use in hand to hand combat it's. Basically, it was created. you could you could fight someone who has a sword sort of way. It's not it's! Why it's? Why there's, no a guys in like, U F C, it's not an actual. Applicable, martial art two?

we gave to somebody daddy, you buy a judo guy or whatever else. It's not right. It's not like a fighting, martial arts But I you see a. now you're. Now it's go time now you have the sword. Yeah Well, as executive told vanity, Fair Stephen usually had a colt, forty, five and or a Browning nine millimeter on him quote. He always coach coats no longer backs, he always had a gun, if not more, he often had to yeah does Speak well to a martial art expert to be does not cause now and he went ahead like it should his pants so well probably like solutions but hurt what time Steven showed the exact a knife made out of a material that he could take through an airport through airport metal detectors.

Stephen was also trying to get a permit to be able to carry a gun on a plane like five eighty you'd like it it. Again, because it's so meteoric. it like he is his character in it, because it's like his world. this so blended with bull shit. It's now kind of bleed like that. The agriculture this now bleeding into reality. Further four hundred percent. a style, is too fitted him for a time for the Oscars said quote what is new in Canada, Goddamn Oscars, I mean what was well. I will see if you're I hit movie out you get to go to the Oscars. It doesn't fucking matter what you're going to the Oscars Steve to be nominated some day. Yes, myself, probably getting two to five different oscars. He probably thought he was going to get an Oscar someday.

the ground will be the one that I win, the Oscar for probably Do a thirty minute speech at the end that is directed to Exxon, it's based on a sketch that I ruined Saturday night live with it so so I had to tell her that talks are wrong to giant guns. He said he needed cover in case they rushed the stage on him who they were I have no idea it sounded absurd until two weeks ago, when you know, and Can happen at the the vibe, but also I really do feel I mean I guess tuxes are tighter, but it definitely feels like you could hide guns in your clothes oh, but he's needs to be specially and taxes are taxes or tighter, it's probably a little more difficult. So I need you to take out the chest a little bit because I'll be packing heeded the Oscars.

you never know. What's going to happen at the Oscars, I might need to kill some people so I mean if someone wants to kill me, that's the best place to do it. Isn't it I'm going to win an Oscar by killing the best supporting actor. still you exact Steven why he needed to carry a gun, and he explained quote they are out to kill me all right. some to catch up with you buddy get, they see Stephen, so you see find a normal. Thank you to thank you, buddy of now, At this point, no funded by the checks no follow up, Are the right move there want to make. You know you're, like okay, we're just I'm going to upgrades other pastures for a little while, while at this point the execs are mostly Laughing behind his back, they think he's just fucking ridiculous right. now for a while Stephen has been telling people he received a sponsorship to live in train in Japan with I keep

it's founder and I'll admit a Butthead bar moai ooh Shiba. So he's telling people. But he went to Japan because this I invited him right. The founder of that Cato the bedroom He followed a girl there right also another problem. Is you Sheba died in nineteen sixty nine before she even went to Japan and when he was like fifteen and your sister he will have to go without as parents I study Aikido this, so this guy, basically plucked a young, Steven Seagal randomly from Fullerton and was like I just right here right sure, ok seems. Fine, it sometimes sounds like Stephen is Fullerton of Shit

Sid exact at this point- are just weary of the spy Liar Guy act at just like ok do, but At the same time, he is asking for more creative control from studios in the movies that he's making. here's a deal for films, he as a deal's sure he had read script about AIDS, Philadelphia they ruined They noted media. It was about how did I know in the movie. I study the out of its kiddo and I'm able to defeat, It's by shrinking myself to excel, and then I go. My own body and I'm able to get my white blood cell count up again. So it's pretty good

What I do is I go into my own body and give AIDS a briefcase of fifty thousand dollars, and it leaves me alone It's about how the CIA created AIDS to eliminate gays and blacks, my god, it's it's! I mean like there's, there's like I'm so torn in an odd way, because part of me is like I love the first of all he's does he was exceeding so the fact that he is this kid on those thoughts. Is I mean, I'm Did that plot? I don't want to see Steven Seagal make that movie, because no doubt it will be horrified in the worst case possible both for sure, but it wouldn't there's no way I could be worse. Aids they script

it's a gauge. So one day a studio, exec entered his trailer and found Stephen openly weaving he said quote: Oh I'm reading a script, it's most incredible script. I've ever read and exact, asked who wrote it and Steve it said quote: I did its wits. I I had that under different, but that is is the most plausible thing that we've heard in both episodes. Well, What I like about it too, is it's not. He walked in on him weeping he didn't come in and then Stephen started to weep the guy was hey. What's going on, I just I've. Just read the greatest thing. I'll ever read my god who wrote it. It did, but I'm good so good at this

it's a movie where I defeat Lyme Disease. So now the guy that Stephen was lit. With a Staten island, not yet right. it was the guy who own the house that Steven lived in, Pharmacy that guy still around That's the living Emily's now like the one of the biggest movie stars, so that still living and getting poor house yeah yeah now I believe, he's out in LA and living there by, but is that still are there still are working together. The guy's been you know a producer on his films and sure. Well I mean I chemists are often the ones who come up with the creative combat, so yeah. Stevens types of production company with Jewels NASA. They made on deadly ground together. in the movie Stevens black outfits are now gone.

And he's now wearing dark purple robes and saffron, yellow, satin jackets, he's, got a lot of bike, native american type. Looking western ie can I Can I just google what this looks like a little bit, so it is he's wearing purple satin jackets. It's pretty standard to Galway, this day. Yeah it matters, at all words,. It's all its it's a ban ever set a kind of sounds like we wanted. A wizard would wear it's actually. I believe a little Tibetans fluency right. It looks like Hollywood Tibetan guess right, which is what he's going for how to take a look at it in awhile, if my God, the man, it's crazy,

in the movie? He has a bunch of native american women. Do a traditional native american dance, which is. What they do like it. It's a true, oh there completely naked, which is not what they do for a second, I was like: ok, that's that's kind of nice and then I'm sure that's how he pitched at your nose like it's very important to me. The native Americans represented properly in this film, because this film is my love letter to the planet and how we are abusing it, and I want you all to be a part of it. So I am not even going to ask for choreography. I want you to tell me what a traditional dance would be yourself, choreograph and then one of your ready bring it animal filming.

and I want to see your bushes while you do it it's important to me that you're completely naked. When are you it's important to me that you all are Well, we have international grand dress, the we attritional Ralph is aware: ok, but you have a dance to its part of the dance, thags actual clothing. he part of situational excellent, so you have the dancers: Here we danced where we swedish and clothing. Ok, so take the clothes and thrown into the bonfire that I'll have made outside come in when you're ready. I want it's important nude and we will present to camera and the only thing I ask is that a couple of times those shots were you I'll bend over to to grab some stuff? Even if it's just your ankles, it's important to me that you are the white culture in this country has taken so much from you and I would

again. This is this too. In many ways is an apology to not only the planet but to the people that have had the land stolen from them, and it's important to me that you will have no pasties on your nipples and that the scene will be about five minutes and it'll, be you are dancing naked eye. So please accept that as an honor. You don't need to. Thank me. I realize I'm bestowing a privilege upon you, but- and this is this is how I direct this is how I write this is how I act. I lead with kindness and it's just important- that you're all completely naked and at the end one or two of you will be begging me. The character me who's named Stephen in this Steven Seagal. In this movie he gets banged by you again. This is a it's, my wife.

Making you are sure. So and then lunch isn't free come having had so the movie in the movies, character saves Alaska from an oil baron. His speech at the end of the movie was the one he wanted to use as his actual campaign stump speech. It was about the environment and spirituality. It was forty minutes long and the studio cut it down to four and it's still considered eternal. When you watch it the area I mean that editors job use product look. This is like it, it never made sense, but the more I pull back makes less sense, but that's a good thing. I guess. we're just try to look out as they were just try to shorten it like his ponytail.

On deadly ground, a gross thirty, eight million us, which is way under what it costs to make and was obliterated by critics- this would be his last directing job deadly granite during during the filming of this movie. He has a young extra to come to a party at his house and and she showed up and there was no party and he sexually assaulted, her Jesus Christ. In nineteen ninety five Jenny, Mccarthy Audition for under siege two, she and Stephen- were the only people in the room, I got to how auditions work. I mean honestly. Well, that's how Steven Seagal additions work. sitting on a couch near fireplace, he asked, our thoughts to sit down and she declined. He said quote.

You know this part has nudity in it and I can't really tell what your body looks like in that dress, that you're wearing. Mccarthy said her agent told her. They would be absolutely no nudity and he said it was off camera nudity and breasts. What in the fuck, how I mean? How are you like how I don't understand how you can push that even further what you ve been busted for like lying about it saying it's of Cameroon nudity, but I need to see a breath like there's no logic that its illogical, it's off camera nudity, but I'll be off camera, so I have to see your breasts. Does this? You know what I mean. I need to see them just to know, for me, my character has to see him. chic. She tried to get back to the addition and doing the scene, but he keeps insisting that she take off her clothes until she starts crying.

And she leaves and as she walks out, she tells him to go, buy a playboy video can I get it this way good, what a ship bag I also at that level to a feel comfortable being like that. I mean I it's I've never heard that story until now. So I guess that's why you feel comfortable doing it, because it's like it's that nobody's hearing about it. I guess because you feel ashamed or whatever, but so to feel comfortable doing that. But then also to like to hack too neat trip to feel the need to be like that When you're a huge star who could really go out like if you're trying to get laid, we go back? We go back to the come. On the instrument right? It's about power right right,.

Okay, Julianna Margulies also had an audition with Stephen in the nineties. A cast injector sent her Stephen to go over seen scene in his room and she assumed the casting director would be there share. Is wrong I walked in and sat down and I jumped right back up because there was something very uncomfortable and hard in the couch Stephen laughed. It was his gun. he picked up the crazy he picked up and took the gun and he told her. He had it to quote protect myself from all the crazies out there, like myself. Now who they always has a bodyguard, also, there's a bodyguard

so they, even though the audition, the audition is you're alone with Stephen Seagal and his bodyguard and he's got a gun sitting under the couch correct seems seems fine casting directors by the by. should not be green line, no fucking scenarios. Now This is pimping, someone out allowance. Yes,. Stephen. They claim to be a healer and asked if he could read her palms She let him and at one He said she had weak kidneys and she said she was now laughing on the inside at him like she's, like this guy's, a stuck in this area. Now she manages to get out of the room. Why You know, she's got a fact this shit, I'm out of here, but

She did come back because the oder cap Baron she demanded the cap by air and gave it to her here's a briefcase of fifty. Does dollars. What is a cab by a gap blood at all? Why? now, while He was filming these things, I think the the. Julia anything happened in movie, but the this. there's going on while he's filming and Katherine Heigl? Who is sixteen in the film on deadly ground said. On the last day, Steven goes up to her and says quote: you know, Katie I got girlfriends your age. What I mean again, I know but like in what universe is there? do you think about that? That is not like a horrifying I've got girl and age, I'm merry

he's still married to Kelly Le Brock. Yes, what the fuck and Katherine Heigl says: well, that's illegal and he said quote they don't seem to mind. I'm talking about the police prick up and by I mean whatever I mean Jesus Christ, it's all good, I mean Nothing, no, no he's a good star for sure. Stephen Kelly had name their third child after their nanny Orissa. Wolf at some point, David started, having sex with their nanny Orissa Wolf and got her pregnant weight. So is the insinuation that they are raising a baby baby or that that no, the insinuation is, is that he's fucking the nanny? And then

as we should name the baby after the nanny that he's fucking and he I needed the nanny or no idea. Did I misunderstand that go with the part that he's fucking, the nanny he's fucking a nanny, and then he names the new Kelly Le Brock Baby named after the nanny that he's fucking. and she says yes, I mean she must just be like she doesn't know cuz, she doesn't know, he's fucking. Today, man, you must just be like this is just I'm in Hell. Was she wasn't hell? She was in Hell. So I'm late ukulele and then the man Nana gets pregnant. Mary is pregnant. I want to name it Kelly Le Brock. Trade trades is you it'd. So rude to me, right now,. During the filming of under siege to kill it

fuck serves him with divorce papers and he said quote holy shit. I didn't know you could do that to me. And then he had a meltdown. He flew to see a nigerian healer. He had seen on tv after that He went to a buddhist healer named Makara, and then there were a bunch of other healers Stephen roads. Many many many many checks. NASA said, Macura was just scamming his money wow. I mean that he was like cool awesome, that'll, be fifty thousand dollars again. That's what I work in. Now, under siege, two came out in nineteen ninety five and grossed fifty million in the? U S, It made more money overseas, but his his star, clearly fading right now,

most other action guys had a longer shelf life Stevens Hogan elsewhere time, what three for movies, but three movies, that dead, while three for movies that will really just one that really well and the others leaders on age under siege, right, but he is. He is much more than any of the other action stars. He is fucking brutal in his movies. He tortures he breaks arms he is savagely disgusting in his films. which isn't like the other guys, and there is also no humour to him. You know the other guys blood or no museum on access to learn. I would push by standing around us another new, actually seeing the guy's kind of a swiss army knife here. On sign alive, he does the opening sketch in which Chris Farley comes over is like this crazy kid dating his daughter and

His wife is like all Steven Seagal is the dad, in his wife is like all goofy and happy and steam. Skull is supposed to be very, like tough guy and then one as wives goes out of the room he supposed to be really goofy, but he. Didn't do that, so this guy Does it make sense to It makes sense cause it just gets his just like he's an asshole. The halter like this is yeah the whole time, as these analysis is like not what are poking fun at anything. It's just like a diktat. I thought it'd be funny. If I broke Chris Foley's back, So after there two comes out about a month later, at least four actresses came forward and said he made sexual advances during late night. Casting sessions One said his message was very clear: have sex with me and you get the part.

Another actress said he showed her acupuncture points and start touching her breasts his former housekeeper, came for and said he sexually attacked her Jesus Christ. Also, Kelly Le Brock would kill would say that our entire time with him was sexual assaults and abuse. Around this time he was prepping for the movie executive decisions, which is an action thriller, starring, Kurt Russell Halle, Berry Oliver Platt and John Leguizamo. Pray for a friend of hers? He's Pratt he's in executive decisions? Yes, it's it's it's in a non sample. It's an answer! the first day rehearsal Stephen walked in and announced quote, command. What I say is law, hey, I'm So this is how Halle Berry so good to meet. You seems like you'll, be a pleasure.

I commend is law, I mean he's it's. This is even for actors. It's wrong it's really never crazy. Lack of greater. Leguizamo is while he's not a stand up. Comedian he's stand up, comedian ish and he just starts laughing right he starts laughing when Segal says this quote: slap me with an eye Keto elbow against a brick wall and knocked the air out of me. I dropped to the floor and all I could say was why why a break ITALY's out now. Yeah, you saw emergent, nay, he is yes, the other actor who laughs when he tells them that he's a command of the production. The x Sounds like you studio have to make some executive decisions.

In that film he's killed halfway through he's like sucked out of an airplane yeah well he's still in it still be working after what we know now. It should not be working, but I would even imagine even by the God Awful Hollywood low bar standards, that you would be like the an actor Eddie says he's in command, I feel like they would be like. Yes, even you feel like you're good is just. The one guy on his own little mission, Instead, we don't need to surround you with other people who also have ego. I I wonder if in this movie, because he dies halfway through and doesn't really do anything if they did cut him out, if they just take them out of the movie, they were just like, in theaters all over America when he dies, people just fucking cheered and he was in a movie theater and then happened and he was livid. I need to watch t v healers, it's

not funny you guys, in the film the glimmer man. Steve New religion, reared Apple, Stephen Tobolowsky, plays a serial killer, who Stephen is supposed to kill? Okay,. But Steven decided it was quote bad for his karma two key. Murdering humans in movies, while Stephen. You have that discussion now ripped. now he wants the serial killer to live okay, so it's an interesting tweak. It feels like so His job is to kill the serial killer, that's, but he because he feels like By the way, a guy who is sexually assaulting and coming up with these, like horrible casting couch decisions, is now

I am worried about the karma. If I kill one another fake character in the movie, what would that do and they're like well you're, like basically a rape it and he's like yeah yeah, but what does it do you know what I mean. I can't kill Stephen. I can't do that, so I think he Why don't I just give him eternal life? That's oh yeah! Yeah! Let's do that Well, this is obviously a problem for the film and Alas, key space speaks to Steven and tells him his character is basically just living in Hell. And killing him would allow him to be reincarnated as a peaceful being. Stephen goes ahead with it yeah I mean that that is just gotta, be in I mean it's like negotiating with a child. Basically, yes, right man, you just like that these that easy depressed you right

yeah after this, your character does go to Heaven, and then he comes back stiff as long as we shoot the part where he comes back as a different being than works for me into an extra twenty minutes at a movie and then at the end I get to give a quick little speech to camera. But later on, he says he ad libs in the movie. Thank God I didn't kill that Guy Kennesaw they quickly, they quickly come up with Some lines for table ascii to make it seem like he had somehow survived being blown up, but in the end they just cut all of it so but he he's an idiot, so he's convinced trouble as he convinces him to not do it he's like yeah, you're right and then they're rolling is like yeah good thing. I didn't kill them and they're like what the fuck we just agreed. I already killed him. You just keep yeah that's right.

I'm not dead, but I my legs don't work, so I don't think I'll be able to chase down. People like I used to fuck is happening The way Steven Seagal running is he doesn't know how to run. He runs like he's thinking about and learning to run. At the same time, it's crazy there's videos of him running online people just out of movies like watching a baby horse. It's like his hands are floppy, but as artists are tight like it's so fucking crazy, That's right! You just found it's like. He just found his arms and act is ensuring that made his next move, discovering running And that's the only six actress, LISA Guerrero was invited to an audition for this Seagal film fire down below. It is home, a possible. It could be a very big break for She refused to go along

eventually accompanied by the female casting director and Stephen, came to the door in a robe and she, It the scene for him while he sat on a throne. Oh my god, I mean it's the worse that things are getting in his career, the more bonkers the ego has got a robe and a throne as anybody ever worn, a robe on a throne, monarchs. Wow. a throne. It feels like, by the way, it's also a toilet and I'm going. Ok. Is there a camera? I'm the camp. The casting directors like by the way, I'm not doing this again,

No out wait where guys going home Let's do the scene again. This am I'll, go without the robe. That's all do it naked. Do you guys, like Cheetos,. So cigar tells her. You could have a very big role in the film if she came back later that night, for a private audition, the ten she she did not. Greetings, people of Earth and America dollop fans. This is I Gareth Reynolds, a letting you know about substandard dates. I have coming up. I will be going on a little tour. Please. join me: if you can Monday, may sixteenth I'll, be at Megabus Joke House in Timonium, Maryland I'll be At the union stage in Washington DC on May seventeenth May 18th I'll be at the funny bone. Richmond Virginia may nineteenth I'll, be in Virginia Beach. Virginia may twentieth

be at the Bell House in Brooklyn, New York June, eighth I'll be at levity, live in Oxnard California, then I'll be in Irvine, California June ninth, which is a Thursday and then Sunday. June twelfth I'll, be at soda bar in San Diego. I promise the shows will be funnier than this promo, also asking the giving away free masks. It is not a mandate, but it's a man plea. It's a man playing to wear a mass again. You don't have to but it would be much appreciated tickets, Annabelle at Gareth, Reynolds dot com, go there reynolds dot com join me. now, Stephen is putting on weight, which is very, very bad for an action star. Well wonder: Others put Stephen on a strict diet and gives him a trainer, but then they, cookie crumbs on his fitness equipment? No, it's no wait! All that! with the idea of like execs or a

active going over to his place to see how he's doing on his diet the fact that the guys eating he's it is Jim. President I chips ahoy out. Stephen Stephen. Excuse me Stephen. What is this? What are these? Those are an neutral. Nutrients. yeah. I got to taste very much like an Oreo cookie There's a lot of Japanese, the Japanese. Attrition biscuits their trip. What yeah the nutrition cookie biscuits from Japan, but what do they call? They lost their okay, I'm sorry, so their weight loss cookie, biscuits with that or What are they called? That's right there. What are they called What is now from the. it means from the band so the.

Our nutritional- these are nutritional diet, can cookie biscuits, japanese, cookie, biscuits that are of the panel. Because the right here I mean they, it looks like there's cream and there's there's dark brown black crumbs here very Familiar of an Oreo Oh that's visit Stephen this I with liquid of I kinda was working with white fluid. Still Steven right here, it says double stuff. Are you eating double stuff Oreo? he's what you're working you spare you even working out. You ve definitely put on weight. Your face and your body double stuff yes, isn't type of Oreo. I Stevens ago: ass, double the martial arts. The most people would have. No, it isn't this go product and it is called the double stuff

It's clearly, this is this is brand, all coming up with called double stuff, martial arts. Well, you just ok, see you. You just told me a second ago that these were nutritional diet, cookie biscuits of the panda from Japan. And now you're telling me that what don't say that's right, because then you just told me that this is a cookie you're coming up with. So what is it? Because I think it's an actual Oreo double Stuf, it's not a cookie, I'm coming up with What are you your company's nutritional? biscuit helps you with your Marshall,. its training and I Steven, Seagal and double stuff with martial arts. You are absolutely double stuff from what I can tell you have put on twenty two. Two lb and you're supposed to be on a diet, a calorie count.

we come down here to check it on your progress and not only is most that the gym equipment covered in cookie crumbs. You are now spinning lies about don't look away. Stop looking away and look at us when we're talking to you I put on wasted muscle is Stephen: look, I'm not going to sit here and and do this, but the animal I mean we have a clear you're, not you're, not an ip, no experts, you don't know where waste muscle works, look alike. Are you doing? Is Ike eat? Oh okay, o stands for Oreo. And you're eating a lot of them, I don't care how many times you run right now, where do that ground, I'll tell you what I am on. Is it an empty packet of of double stuffed Oreos and I We willing to bet that if I looked around here, I would spend more of these. The idea. you're even in the gym eating the snacks? Is I don't even want to open that can of worms? Why

Do it in another room I feel like you want to get caught, but regardless it's hard to tell what you weigh because of the robes that are now just draping yourself in but you're, certainly bigger. Reuse and their from Japan. I get them out there at the panda there. diet. It's just I'm not going out abandon the panda that they're in I mean I'm, not gonna, I'm not going to I'm not going to fight you, but honestly. I think that I could that's where we're at. So I'm looking at you and I see Ashley no waste muscle, so I don't know how you can find me No, I am I am on a very Simon. I am on a diet. I have lost him trying to lose weight. Okay and again, I'm not even an action star. I just I just Studio No but you're not either Steven okay. What you are is a a a a form

star who's, getting one more break as far as I'm concerned, but yours one on deadly ground and work to make an executive decision that you're not above the law. Okay,. And I don't even remember that maybe the other right now, but yeah. You are very much under siege We're waiting under siege now quit eating your God. diet, panda cookies in here and start makes some stuff on the treadmills she's me yet not its oreos. I ever the packet is right, ear, crying! you're, not wearing studio city, yes cause, I can be in two places at once.

so in fire down below he'd gotten so large that, according to vanity, fair quote, the crew spent much of it's time trying to find flattering camera angles which, given the final product seem to have been few, were going to shoot from the top the top of the building this price Steven from. but then joy arrived. He had a daughter with thanks nanny now girlfriend publicly out with his ex nanny there publicly dating ranting? Premiers and doing the whole thing Are you now According to an ass out, Colombo, I family, Capo sunny for And cheesy was working for a guy who said Stephen was making moves on his wife so some higher up in the mob is like Stevie hitting all my fucking lady, but he I again like he.

Believes he is an action. He believes he is a character in his movie. At this point, It's like ninety times. I think. I definitely think very, is a completely. distorted reality, he doesn't know what's fantasy and fiction anymore. So he's Stephen when he hears this is totally freaked out and he thinks that friend He is going to kill him. He keeps saying the branches to kill him, but that doesn't happen. what did happen is some sort of relationship now developed between Steven and a mob couple Sunday, french easy. And over the next few years, Mob guys would have pie in his movies way what I thought so probably negotiates with the mob that in and an mayor occult he is Hubbard

Just put you guys in my movies that don't do well, I think that it's like hey look, I wonder if you up? Ok, you did you fucked up. You're right, you did a fucking thing is, is finding I didn't want to work together. We can guess we're wings again. Yes, yes, I'm scared. You get a little nipples joy eyes, you put him in a couple of comments, shows Riah, oh Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were saying I would have surgery to get little nipples. Oh yeah okay, so I'll just start to You guys in my movies as the process is a little irregular. Just so you know, you'll have to come, Over to my place, late at night alone, with no one I'll be in a robe and a throne Yeah, as long as you guys are good at acting like me, should be no problem. in one scene, he put some big.

Mafia, guys, son in the movie and in this scene he beats up everybody in a room and never touches the mafia, guys son, I mean like he's already fighting an uphill battle. He's not in shape he's, never been good, he's now creatively like at the helm too much, and on top of that he's now being basically extorted to cast mobs people in his movies, there's all right, there's already there's already a mob issue: Naso is mobbed up, like man was in in this is already. There is already a. After going, he was living in the guy's house. It's all very, like and also when he is when the studios are paying Stephen part of his money, goes to NASA right,

Such isn't something you do now, you don't commission your pharmacists. Normally I've never heard of that be. There's a there's. A dub was strange relationship here. now Spiritual journey is really just on fire in nineteen. Ninety seven, he became a reincarnated buddhist master, which was just out on him by Pinar Rinpoche, you're one step below the Dalai Lama. What what this guy Pienaar is Supreme Head. supreme head of the Negro School of Tibetan Buddhism according to quote specifically: he became a talker or incarnate lama.

the embodiment of shown drug door founded. A small monastery in Tibet is seventeenth century. So this guy's, like this, this mistake Buddhist monk from the past, and now this riposa is saying that Steven he is the real Recognition of this guy how how okay- so the the this happens. It's it's! It's a thing, in their religion. But usually it's a child that they find. Well in many ways has been reincarnated in many ways Yes, I did it's not the same, it's not the same as they find the Dolly Llama right, because the way they find the Dalai Lama is like the Dolly Llama dies and then they like, find the other one. Are they just like? We ve been look for the and is a mansion in studio city,

It is kind of like that, like they are seeking out, you know was what and and right at the start of the same thing, they find a kidney like yeah this kid. So to Stephen at a bunch of children, but boots Now, especially Richard Gere and Hollywood, like is our like right. Why and why is an old guy who kills tons of people in movies How do we allow my and people are like accusing the monastery of Stevens Money and giving this him, and I mean they think he is he's like a bishop. Now he's right below the fucking Pope I mean Please, Dalai Lama, then a bunch of. These is second Lama. I mean

and having a bunch of kids and they think that the they think the the the buddhist powers that be are just being I'm a centrally well that this specific one and maybe a couple others because you have to you after you come up with it and then you get other a couple. Other reimposing I do agree with you and then then it happened so yeah, but he's just passing out fifty grand briefcase and then we of silence we won't tell anyone. Yeah So it's so bad. He gets so appeal room and push gets so much shit It's that he is forced to address the accusations in writing and he said he didn't take any money, any admitted Steven didn't go through the complete process. Also he's like look movies are movies they're, not real life, so. So what you guys get AIDS entertainment. You know you guys telling me that you feel like. Do you think that the mood

he's influence says that he's that good of a person if you get to know Steven Seagal, you will see that he is everything we talk about. People will always continue to comment. How weird it is that a violent action star is a and Peter Erin Pusher quote: there is no inherent contradiction. Ok, wow. So now he's one of the most top boo he just keeps finding ways to just carve out a battle like what seems like a good existence, but it's so not only undeserved. It's like you know. It's a go from actor to two high rank in Bowie asked his heights would be hard worker. A decent good person at like Tom Hanks he'd be like this is kind of bullshit, but it's even the hurdle.

Your gear yeah. Well, I don't know much about him, But yes, since I wouldn't exponents like you, I mean it would make more sense. The crane do producer. Damion Lee going to Stevens Office was now quite the experience quote. It's really quite amazing. The staff really treat Steven as a guru. When you have a meeting with him, you may be sitting there and he will be served plates of fruit and meat and they call him Rinpoche Steven is served. His guests are never served a thing so he's much. A good or impose shea and can love you don't so? Let's talk about this next movie, I can ruin let's get more prosciutto for the rim, share, person who worked closely with Stephen said quote

he's the only Buddhist I know who can use the words Dalai Lama and Cunt in the same sentence. Man. I tell you what. The Dalai Lama should have warned me that he was such a current right. So you seem you see. What can I get some more canadian bacon for the people J. At this point, Stephen is routinely calling journalist, scumbags and cock suckers and horrors of their women. Like ie he's. Just like protege will do yes, of course, as as we I mean, I haven't the Lama, because I was the throw those terms around. So this box office, grey areas just still getting smaller and smaller and smaller in two thousand and one are brothers- gives him three million dollars to play. A supporting role in exit wounds and action movie starring DM acts. It does the box office, but more is fucking had it with Steven Seagal, forty nine,

He's completely out of shape often late, he's a serial sexual harasser and he has lazy work habits. is sixteen million dollar movie fee is now down to two point: five million dollars a movie still overpaid, but yeah what a drop yet now. Over the years, his relationship with Nassau has been going south. they'd put together a film called the Princess Central Park in nineteen. Ninety eight, but Steven backed out of it at the last minute of you're on Jack. The air. yeah passing on me. I don't believe I can die. I dont like what I've done. It's just in the mirror, I'm sorry to pass. He also pulled out of three other films and it caused the production company to cancel twenty. So he can't pull out interesting. Okay, yeah so to cancel twenty five million in foreign distribution deal, so

Steven now tells Nassau he wants out of the partnership he wants and the partnership that's his fault. Now NASA is like we have a contract for sixty Mon dollars to make more movies and still like I don't care and also there's no actual contract go One of those one of those projects had been for Steven. Star as gang is com. Even though Stephen is an Asian, well there's a couple things one. It sounds like he has the behavior of the character to As I mean. a highly illogical, problematic concept in

The way and facet, but We also have seen in the last whatever decade that there's no a lot of pushback, sometimes to white people playing asian characters. That, I mean you know: okay, okay, so let's talk further about this, They took full page adds touting the film and trade publications is what you do and you start making a movie and then said: want to China audition actors to play his relatives in the future. God, oh, my god, so he's not an asian guy who's going to have an asian family. What are you saying? It's just there's lies the logic issue I mean again we're getting back to beyond appropriation. Now it is where we sort of started, which is like he does Steve

is what we call a racial shape shifter in his own mind, Not really, he doesn't see himself as white. he's the ability to sort of morph into whatever the roll calls for you know, and exit wounds, Stephen considered himself to be Father MAX's. We just let him believe certain things. so whatever the gang Khan Movie is dead with the other movies He started filling the exit wounds in Toronto and while he was shooting. Nassau, his brother Vincent. Gambie no cap, oh and again, Baino soldier, went to see Stephen on the set up Intimidate. To intimidate him into continuing making movies with NASA. I mean what easy, like look you're going to keep me Kim Tum movies with Nasa- oh okay, so

I don't know what you heard, but I'm fortunately Steven I going to be able to just walk away from making these movies now. This is highly irregular for the mob, obviously you'll becoming coming too pressure you to you continue to make good the Releases, but we are where we are you going to make movie, and you ain't going to refuse some well after that. Pretty soon Demille said, Stephen was going around two people saying quote I have a problem. Can you help me with the stuff down in New York? and then problem I got a New York problem. There's New York guys. and then Danny Province, Provenzano. Of the genovese crap, so the other guys are from Gambino. of the genovese crime. Family comes up to see Stephen now Danny been dabbling in movies, a little bit producing and whatnot.

After the speeding, it was decided that Stephen was no longer in business with necessary. He was now working with problems and zones and Extension capo, sunny friend cheesy, who is member the guy from earlier. sleeping with someone's wife, oh Jesus, that's where I now, let's put guy, so this, all, coming around full circle, little bit. So, if you like are now with him years he's like when I finally I finally did it, I got rid of the game, be no problem I'll get for you, that's great yeah. I just it's too much pressure to try to work with the mob. It's like I don't know. I mean I feel like they don't share the moral principles. that I read of Shea hold dear to the Stephen you shouldn't be to do that. Yeah, I'm working with another mob family

a better more more of their moral learn, more or less. I've tried to fuck his wife, so there also they wanted to kill me too, but like dna Just try like I'm sorry. I don't want to know about your life so, So basically, what happened was prevented. Who takes over NASA spot in the business and everything's going to continue, as is Actually, what's what's going on with with sunny with this. Apples and French NZ being play the guide, pulling the new the new NASA. In two thousand and one Stephen goes to New York restaurant to see now his private every day- discuss. The situation was talking about the situation sure, but when he arrives They hustled him into a car where there is another Gambino guy waiting. And then they drive?

but they switch cars. In case they're, being watched, my god. Stephen doesn't know, what's going on, then take him to the gauge and talent a restaurant in Brooklyn and take him in back room where the Gambino Capo and soldier, Before awaiting the ones who came is but NASA on the set and they demand Stephen either due for films Y all or a list Do the for films, the contractors forward, Naso or List NASA when the credits but either way give them a fee of one hundred and fifty thousand per film. Oh, my god, I mean he's at it. This is again rare verified. This is not I mean even for Hollywood Knotts, it's for sick, like odd. Look you to do it.

Movies with us or not It sounds named as a producer and we get the hundred and fifty thousand credit. Okay, that's three briefcases. What are you guys talking about I want points on the back and we want be name in all the sequels and we want to cut the merchandising okay. I don't know. So Steven is very scared, even though he had a gun on him the whole time He doesn't want to go to the f. I quote they can. Help me. They can't protect me. I I guess there's a lesson in here which is just don't make up everything, yeah It is also scared about He scared about what would happen to his career if it came out that tough guy Steven Seagal is, but obviously I mean he's built this whole lake

or about himself where he is. This lead, like he's he's the real. Deal he was sought out, he's Oh, please yea he's a Amy Seal he nobody could show came out. and that he's just some dude in cars that are getting switched around with a gun on him and he's like I gotta make for movies, and otherwise these guys are going to hurt me so. What does he do? What do you do? Go the well He goes to see Angelo Prisco, a Genovese captain who is in prison, he's hoping Prisco, could be a peacemaker and help resolve the situation. didn't pays him ten thousand dollars for his time. Wow. And then absolutely nothing happens

it just takes ten thousand dollars. Alright, that's very appreciated. Well, thanks for coming by Stephen. So will that work yeah that works. So it's going to be okay, yeah! For me, it's going to be great, but I want take care, but a see you later, but I gave you ten does yeah. It is much appreciated. Thank you. So much. But I am still in a lot of trouble. Yeah anyway, come by whenever you want to give me money. Okay, I just think you I feel like I'm not good at life. later NASA the capital and the soldier shut up at Steven's house in allay the day of the exit ones. Premier, they had heard Stephen was complaining about their threats and

even gave them seven hundred thousand dollars. No, no, I wasn't complain I was actually. I was complaining because I kept losing count over how many brief cases I needed to give you guys, and it turns out it's it's it's a lot of So here you go, here's a stack of sixteen seventeen somewhere around there and yep. So that's cool thanks for anyway, I should get on my. can tall robe I've got Go to the premiere tonight great, to see you friends who Let's do the math. They want him to do for movies, for one hundred and fifty thousand each, which is six hundred thousand dollars. He just gave them one hundred thousand dollars over a tip.

well, it's a shit, your pants fee, I mean he's really like, haven't he's again for the tip I mean it. He starts the first half of his career posturing as the toughest guy in the world and the second half of his career coming across as one of the most scared man alive. so. The government, the whole time has been investigating the Gambino Capo, the one who threatened him That guy is soon arrested. It turns out, have tape recordings. and on one of them, the Cabot and the soldier are laughing as they talk about how they just scared. The shit out of Steven Seagal in their meeting, like It's like Suge night with vanilla ice, the lawyer, said quote they were laughing about it saying it was right out of the movies. The cop has said: quote

I wish we had our guns on us. That would have been fun at out of been there laughing at him. because he's so scared Andy as a gun on I'm, so they think it's fucking Larry as like, I here's another hundred grand just for gas. now there's also tapes of the Capo telling Naso we demand one hundred and fifty thousand per film In another, the soldier said, Stephen was quote running scared. She a good title, running scared. That is a good title. It's gone and running scared. I ship my pay, while jogging weirdly. So Nassau ends up suing Steven for the sixty million dollars suing him so that the seven hundred

And went towards him basically and now he's suing him. I know I think the seven other grandkids might be the capital I don't think he went to Nassau and then he had to get permission from the mob to sue as a gay. You could sue fuck him. now around the sun. Now so also told Stephen he's no longer wanted his companies name on steam is near a gun. Permit we told the police that and Stephen Fuckin lost his shit because he wants his guts. now wow. This is going on. I mention Stephen Steven Van Zandt trade and medically loves animals. yeah he's big. I you like panda cookies. Well, that's not just talk. He generally does around the time he works with for South Africa to stop the exporting.

Of baby elephants to Japan. I know why baby elephants are being I don't know what happening he's like? That's as yeah designing and closed in some capacity or ivory one, some wild. Anyone. And then, after that, Peter gives him tearing of you, my favorite bread. Now he's he's vegetarian, he believed and shaving companies in the changing, so he has some ideas that are okay. he said he sees himself in all animals rose. And he went further on this explanation quote. walk into a room. Some people see a dog, some people see a cow, I am all of what they see. It is their perception, probably not that,

the greatest animals to pick. But you be like some see a puma, some see a jackal at them, see a lion Some see a dog Some see a cow see a jellyfish Naked Moses, yeah yeah. There's no boat, a story that I I Because it reminds me of my mushrooms a little bit, but these people. Come to, see these two Hyatt Buddhist, guys, monks have a conversation and their just fucking laughing They're just laughing their asses off and then one finally stops and goes. I can't believe they call that a tree and then they just start laughing again alright. So it's about percent. It's about what you believe. Like you know, it's it's it's a greater philosophical idea like he's taken that and shit on it and then rubbed it through some animal hair, and he came up with this. Like

It's not the same thing people don't fucking see a dog when you walk in the real. It's all I don't know. It's also ego based because it's what people's perception of him are versus the perception of enlightened rifles. View of you know the absurdities of the world. His is his is there, there's is oh my gosh can't believe we a tribute names to things that it a foolish further humans. His is, too many and animals. Yeah a after he does this. They interview him and even explained. when he realized, He had an incredible connection with the animals and this goes back to when he's learning a Keto in Japan quote I was Japan and had my own dojo or school there

I was having some difficulties with a group of lawless individuals. There was this big conflict again. His rumble of the Bronx past, where there pretending to be a dog. It can never, he can never not pretend like he was attacked by the eggs like sunk in reality. Now it's been it's like a bull shit that stock so long that it became real I remember was sitting out in front of my dojo and I saw this white dog who just walked right up to me as if he had known me forever. I petted him and fed him and he stayed with me for a few days. On about the third day. He woke me up with really intense barking at about four in the morning, and I noticed that I do Joe was on fire. Quickly summoned help.

yet the fire out- and I thank the dog the next day he disappeared, and it was me I'm just the way I was like dogs Come to myself, I'm a U coups d, so he again has it's just I mean I can't stop. You would think it there point that he would be like there would be like a part of him that would be like yeah. I need to start to live in reality, a little bit more because two mob families are fucking me over and it's not going well, but instead he's like and that dog saved me and then I don't believe the dog ever existed. That's why help animals. Dogs come to me to save my life magic dogs. Or all the are all dogs magic. The aids. Even me. Sometimes I walk into a room of people, see a dog.

because I'm trying to lick my own ball out or a cat, because I only go and say, and so. So prosecutors ended up bringing Steven into the grand jury over the mob case. And there he pleaded the fifth fifth and by the way I would feel a lot more comfortable if I was the only one wearing a robe. Your honor. So they gave him immunity, He turned to God, it's UN fucking, real. Stephen, was called John DOE number five in Corp giant Joe Joe at trial Does a trial he wear a silk shirt and a brown silk jacket and he tested And against the mob capital

Being questioned, he said quote in the movies, I play a tough action hero But I have feelings: I've been a victim twice twice I mean It takes a lot for the only time when they're like alright, you can be. You have to be totally honest, is where like in reality, I'm a bit of a wimp. So just so, you know. Now the judge, the judge, has a grandson and he's like a younger these, like a team and he Comes to watch L a times reported, he said quote I like his movies, but I thought he would be skinnier. I love it, but then he was like. Why did that quote that kid just. It looks like a younger Santa. Ok, so they can be no crime, capting its fifteen years for dances charges, not just the ones and rising Seagal, but.

just tons of stuff. And the press learned how scared Fucking Steven Seagal going to guy Actually, Ex Navy seal allow dojo job in Japan sought out by the founder. Keto when he was a teenager in Fullerton. I also speak dog. so, do you remember the CIA agent that here Tried to hire to film the reporter having gay sex when the report on straight so Currently Stephen said something about him in. is. He was on the witness stand and said now that guy is mad. He comes out and reveals who he is his name is Herbert Saunders and he's so mad at Steven Seagal. Did he comes out. And he basically says everything: Steven had done so before was just spy magazine.

Anonymous. Cia, guy and now he's coming on and saying it's all fucking. True this guy's a piece of shit, yeah. The reason is cuz he wanted. He was like I want to be a part of his NASA was going to go on trial next, because I want to be a witness, that trial. And he laughed. I made an end Stephen Kenyan, like the first half of all of his lies, are now just it's all. Coming back upon him, the heat the guy says he can't Steven Seagal cannot separate fact from fantasy and he's Steven. He's really Super Stephen was dealing always asked me to do stuff in and he He cut off Steven when Stephen asked him to His da da files, because Stephen believed the d, a keeping files on him because at some point they were going to frame it.

So Emmy, just out of your fucking, the only way they can take me down off my giant. That has tried to get me everyone. It's the take me dad. O action sties David Cigar. A NASA wanted this this age to testify, but the prosecutors like there's no reason began when he really is that I should like, if we just let him in for the middle ages,. they want. Me really is looking to chew the fat over Steve and a little bit. So the trial happens and in two thousand and four Julius Naso pleads guilty to extortion, conspiracy and he gets a year in prison and a seventy five thousand dollars. Fine, but he's still once the money owed him sixty mil. the sixty million dollars. He says Stevens in violation of the contract. Also,

Early on in their relationship, Stephen had I five hundred thousand dollars from Nassau now. Nassau is connected to who the mob In early on in Stevens Career, he borrowed five hundred thousand dollars from A guy associated with the mob it takes a seat and I think it started come the mob. Now I mean he's he's owned by the mob. he is that's why that may be why masses name. Is on the line Bryce. Why you even started the partnership with it, because it Insane and Warner brothers. Warner brothers, would never explain why they have done that right.

I make as he was living on his property in a guest house, so he was at one point. You know its part actually that he was probably living beyond his means, pretending to be this person that he isn't and- and the fun that he made a deal with the devil. they couldn't could have just been a situation where, like look, We gave you money early on and until you until you pay off your debt, you living in this fucking house and we get your checks or something of that They made so many men of money. Then he read yeah. But who knows that gets all right. call up in the air, but there's definitely some shit here with the fucking mob, the five hundred thousand dollars that haven't guys in the movies. It's all very. They're their legal disputes is in the cards for awhile and it gets settled in two thousand and eight. Steven agrees to pay back the five hundred thousand dollars.

He also agrees to sign a letter requesting a presidential pardon for NASA. What year is this? It's just the Bush The bush, but in any way is it it it's not going. I mean David Seagal signing a letter that just a lot of conditions. It's like what. sign like him signing a print a letter asking for a presidential pardon doesn't do. it's that moving the needle in any way, ok. so as we're going to see him part three there seems to be a large group of people. Out there, who believe Steve Seagal has much Greater influence and is much more important than he really is. Okay,.

I think this is an example of that it will blow up in the third part. So NASA jobs, the sixty million dollar suit with the settlement Stephen how free to make movies with New production company steamer, Bright Cleveland Steamer, but but All this stuff that has now come out in the trials has brought Stevens mob affiliations to the attention of the FBI. And you learn more about that in part- thirty, my God, the idea that he's like. Finally, I can make movies again Buddy, that's not happening anymore. We do. Nobody is after it says nobody is like clamoring for more Steven Seagal Films,

so he's address by because you dont get this in politics. It is very satisfying to hear. Some ones world. bull crashing down around them and they are finally being proven. Unequipped too, And dull adversity after projecting that they can for so long I mean. Are the Buddhists like a Stephen? Can you come here for a meeting we are going to go more into the Buddha stuff in part through and they read parks So we had part one we handed to Stephen Sequel and then now I really thought that it would. I thought it would two parts, and then I just did the second part, and I was like well. This is just bananas like it's just just keeps getting more and more crazy. We haven't even hit fee crazy, yet because it's going to

getting crazier and two thousand twenty three. I don't even know. What's going to look at So there's probably a hanging. Fourth part are out there. Mother fucker its go and international I mean it has two: it there's nothing, you can do this She had ever this country now, it's just like look Stephen, that's right have this is just as we are view of America is now a dried husk for you. You are done. There are no there's, nothing left Omigod. Could have been, could have been a senator senator I senator up. I wouldn't put. I put anything past I mean you know we voted for Schwarzenegger Trump became president. I wouldn't put anything past any voting bloc in the United States to pick any idiot to be in. I I I can. I am so close to saying with confidence that Steven Seagal won't make it and Politik

Office, but I don't think now he can but back then absolutely maybe I feel like maybe now it's just But you never know now. I don't think he ya know you probably what if he ran in Texas like. I if he, if he ran in Arizona Florida to be floored, is where it could potential. Yeah yeah Florida. Yes, I greatest eight, so maybe that could happen well. it's once again been an absolute pleasure. What up what an honor really just, certainly quite a man quite a man, spider, man, wow bad.

What the fuck so many sources for this episode, the researchers down by myself and RON Picone sources- See I said bye to say this: Siegel, AGC, Siegel, Ology, L, a Times L a Times Archive New York Times, NPR the guardian Scc, a dot, Gov VOX Daily Mail, Wales, online, Buzzfeed, I am db Grunge, biography, dot com and Newsweek Reuters, Slate daily mail, Uk Loop, Looper Forbes. Makes new time New York Daily NEWS deadline, dot, com, USA, today, the bachelor, the New York Post Washington, Post Buzzfeed NEWS and Vanity fair.