Jeffrey Toobin! Republicans! Deportations! and Sternly Worded Letters!
Phone calls from Bernie Sanders, Barack Obama, Chris Christie, and Jeffrey Toobin!
Featuring Stef Zamorano and Mike MacRae!
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Get ready for an outstanding entertainment programme. The Jimmy or hello. This is Jimmy who's. This Jimmy, it's Jeffrey, tobe, is to do Tuban. How are you doing doing just fine? Is that so You probably heard by now that I was caught masturbating on a zoom call yeah we did and I've suspended by the New Yorker right right. Why? I want you to know that I have made all the requisite apologies and I will now be seeking legal action against the new Yorker we had. The web confused were passed. legal. Stating do you have in this situation, Mr Tuben? Well, it's interesting interest existing case law.
Surrounding this topic is rather unclear in a state of California, for example, the civil courts of rules consistently against men who have expose their penises during zoom calls even inadvertently say they stepped out of the shower and didn't realize the camera had been turned back on. But then you Rhode Island versus Borowitz, which was within interesting rolling, because it seemed to imply that the Spouses or of a penis line could possibly be perceived not as a threat, but rather just a friendly grading unconventional, certainly but still essentially salutary nature. I see I Legal waters get muddied somewhat when you add actual masturbation into the scenario, I'm sure,
you are aware, this classic law thought experiment employ talking to a female employees on the telephone and he begins to master bag fuckers. She has red hair or whatever, but he does so in a way words completely silent. And she can't hear it on the other end of the line. So the red head? She also has freckles, I might add, is unaware throughout the duration of the call that her boss was masturbate, with his penis why she in fact sexually harassed, theirs differing legal opinion on this, but it's such a classic legal riddle that is often posed to first first year law, sometimes sometimes over the sort of if a tree falls into four sort of a thing.
Exactly now, the legal answer to that may be unclear, but the analogous application, the zoom calls, is readily apparent. I'd, say asylum masturbate or has also perfected arm only technique, thereby obscuring is masturbation both visually and audibly imperceptible masturbation during a work meeting, inherently a crime or even a tort. Again. The relies on clear on this, It just seems kind of wrong, though right- and I will say it's somewhat understandable- that there is all this legal confusion considering it's only been eight months or so since there's been this explosion of online meetings and made up, and in that situation you're just going to have a flurry of exposed penis it is inevitable and it's going to take the courts a long time to catch up with all those penises yeah.
I don't I don't really I can tell you that this topic has attracted the attention of academic law in a big way. Many of the law professors at the top law schools in his country been studying this topic diligently. In my former mentor Alan Dershowitz, in fact, this is one of the few topics where he and I still agree So what is your legal strategy? Gonna be here to say I care relate to also during a reported phone call that will be posted online, but suffice it to say that it will be relatively aired tied in light of the current legal thinking on this matter. actual you're on a lively right now? Why? Yes, many people listening to me right now about five thousand at this particular moment.
Wow yeah go gotta, go gotta, go tags, Jeffrey I I know me and jump. The media sector show hey everybody walking with this weeks, Jimmy Door. So let's get to the joke before we get to the joke, shall we you don't. for years from now, the Democrats will be telling borders to choose between evil, racking and less evil. Racking I mean no matter what happens. I still have hope we can sell this country for scrap value Asia.
About Jeffrey Tube and if about Jeffrey, about no share in New York, the new Yorker may be suspending Jeffrey tube in for a decent exposure, but see it. and is now promoting him. As a body language expert, Cnn doesn't know how long tube will be out, but, judging from the video, I'm gonna say at least two or three inches of my right come on the key to that joke was speed. You got to get to the punch line for hey this- is the first story? Cnn, isn't going to ask Jeffrey tube to unpack the cut Procedural law scholar was just about to release a new book on the first amendment and the right to redress. I can't undressed, I guess, come Gama go by Hey was covered up today, show after death AIDS of saying how proud he was of his crime bill. Joe Biden just decided. It was a mistake for I sent a sternly worded letter for Joe Biden to respond to and they don't even send it to Joe Biden hate Jimmy Dors. Prophet
The about deportations under Obama and deportations under Trump comes true Partisans are using Russia Gate to defend the corruption discovered in Hunter Biden's emails and are favour. Local LA news guy comments on the Jeffrey Tuban Incident plus phone calls today from Bernie Sanders Brisk Risky, Barack Obama and Geoffrey to bid plus a lot lot more today of other Jimmy Georgia, so here's why the Republicans are going to lose and the Democrats should also. But this is why the replicas are to lose so, this is what's happening right now. Millions of Americans have lost health insurance in this pandemic driven recession, so that was from August twenty eighth of this year. Here economic fall, from covid. Nineteen continues to hit lower income Americans the hardest half of adults who say they lost a job do to the coronavirus. Outbreak are still unemployed.
Cause you know, the billionaires get even more rich from all that stimulus, money, baby, that's what happens. What's goin on the ugly truth about millions, american jobs. They are not coming back. Another ugly truth is that they were shitty and exploit of jobs to begin with. So this is what this is. The climate wherein hey wave eviction, sweeps the US amid impasse over coronavirus protections, this is what's happening, lines everywhere. People are getting evicted, nobody has a job because a Cronan virus and the government isn't doing anything that well here's what the government's doing to help people contain another round of stimulus Americans. No, it doesn't, but it does address awful lot of things that we do on and on, and Thank the fact that those checks are not a part of this package, Others have said, is a good argument for not doing what we are
On the floor, most of which is completely without controversy. So what he is saying is I have a bill for corona virus relief. It doesn't involve actually relief that people. So so what the republican leader is saying of the Senate has were where it will we're looking out for Wall Street one of the things we agree on. So that's what him and the Democrats agree on. So I just I don't see a problem just because you're not helping regular People we agree on helping Wall Street and the richest people in the country and that's what we're doing. That's what he's saying Mitch Mcconnell is like if an overdraft was a person. so, there is coming right outside we're, not doing anything for the people, we're not going not going to do anything for you, not can do anything for you and he doesn't care
This is why Trump is going to lose and Trump is going to lose news. Mcconnell warns White House against making stimulus deal before election sources say. So what what this should say? is GEO. P were willing to risk the White House. If it means we can avoid helping people trump urges stimulus package bigger than two point two drill and, as the Senate will be ready, slimmed down measure, but trot is going to take Let Mitch Mcconnell roll right over him because Trump is weak and he doesn't. He doesn't. he's not gonna help you, he doesn't really care about helping you he's not doing it much Mcconnell is the President's parent weight and At the same time, the Federal Reserve is to lend an additional one trillion dollars a day. The large banks- and I bet
Nobody asked how they're gonna pay for it. You know what they say, though right you know what they say. A society is judged by how it treats its most vulnerable banks House Republicans investigate Biden's use of chartered chartered Amtrak once again, I ve got their priorities straight. This is what they're doing, instead of giving a check to the people, of all the things to criticise Joe Biden for an all they can come up with was he took a train? What you're gonna be the weak weaken before the election did you hear Joe Biden was riding a bicycle and he didn't even signal when he turned so This is why the Republicans are going to lose because they're, not during their governing against the people. They D been governing against the people every step of the way. So of the Democrats, so good
for you. This is why they will lose you know how we used to do. You know when chucks humor calls into the show, and he Says all boy: I've really had it with that Donald Trump, I'm going to send him a sternly. the letter, because it that's a joke right, that shows how fact listening factual. The Democrats really are there not actually an opposition party. They just send sturdily what they don't do anything like right now they could be stopping the Supreme Court Justice, but they're not they could be but they're not so they don't do anything. Guess what now Eo C in the house doing the same thing they could set a sturdy sent to sturdily. Let worded live, not making this up I am not making this up air sea and House Progressives warned Biden on corporate hires. That's the headline politico a letter. From left wing law makers and groups, calls for corporate lobbyists and high Linking executives to be
shut out of the bided administration. They said they sternly worded letter did they. All so ask Hillary to cut it out, maybe ask. Hillary say cut it out, like she did with Wall Street, I went to watch it. I said cut it out. Member that was Hillary Did warn Wagner finger at the Joe Biden any point. This is what the Democrats do as as, instead of actually resisting corporatism, they do things like you know, tell him to cut it out, wag their finger at them. Wait did Pelosi rip up a speech. Did Obama say: let's let love bleed. Both sides played out cuz. This is how the Democrats really resist. I was trying to figure out how much stern action happened here. How much stern action happened here.
left wing house members, including representatives, Alexandria, Cassio, Cortez, Kay the porter, whose another one who will never call out Nancy Pelosi or structure or the Democrats ever. Katy Party will never do that. She's very hardly in that regard. Iana Presley same thing Raul Raval same thing: they all signed a letter, I'm not making this up. they all signed a letter signed. The letter was obtained by political. It are. It argues that no corporate executives or corporate lobbyists ought to have Senate confirm positions in a bind and administration.
Well. I hate to break it to you a yo, see Raoul, grew Volga, IONA Presley. I hate to break it to you. You performative theatre actors, but Joe Biden already installed the corporate corporation in his campaign that you ve endorsed. What do you mean Jimmy? Well, Larry Summers, the guy who the architects of the two thousand eight financial collapse: Larry Summers, the dumbest, smart guy, beside SAM Harris is running.
Is part of the group of Running Joe Biden campaign. Larry summers: do you know what Larry stop he's the vice president of the World Bank and he's the one architecting the push for the Glass Steagall deregulation, which led to the biggest crash ever. That's who already working for Joe Biden, Raul already about Jim Chanos, he's a campaign adviser he's Also a Wall Street Hedge Fund manager. How about Jack Rosen he's a real estate, speculator campaign advisor. So could you see who the guy is from Raytheon? I think there's a couple of military industrial, complex guys working for Joe Biden right now can put in military industrial, complex advisers, Joe Biden, and by the way
Them sending this letter having to say this the point rest of sending this letter. That is something that should never even need to be said. If the Democrats were actually an turn party to the right instead of just part of it. So what these people do by being part of the Democratic Party would Ocasio Cortez Katie Porter Ayana Presley Raoul gravelly. What they do is they give the impression that the democratic parties represents workers and regular people. They give the false, very false impression and so they're doing damage Because it makes people think the Democrats are actually an alternative party and they are not there, I'll just endorsed the campaign of a corporatist, the guy. What did you just endorsed these people? And now you want to
the change so before he has your vote. He's hundred percent corporate you wanted to change after you gave him your vote, the one thing so some Biden, allies and even some left wing Democrats have been frustrated that factions of the party are airing such demands and criticism in public before the election. so Joe Biden's chief foreign policy advisor is a guy named Antone Blinkin, he's very pro war. In fact, was Biden aid when he pushed the Iraq war in two thousand to so he still got the war hawks. It's worse. He I know he has people right from the military industrial complex in his campaign. Despite the unrivalled corruption of the Trump administration, it is not on rival.
There are a hundred per cent corrupt, so maybe Joe Bidest, because Joe Biden has done more damage has been in government forty six years, he's done more horrible things, so that's not true and that's why they lost that's. Why Bernie Sanders lost? That's why the debit? So, despite the Unrivaled, corruption of the Trump Administration, the chokehold choke corporate giants and rich hold over our political system is system is not new. Illinois Representative, chewy Garcia, who also signed the letter. Their power in fluids in american politics has been growing for years. Yeah. And you stay in that party. That's a hundred percent, corrupt halo The most important Wikileaks revelation isn't about Hillary Clinton, so you guys us sending a stern letter in two twenty about the corporate influence in influence in a democratic presidential administration.
Were. Are you doing Obama's presidential presidential administration, because you know what John Podesta do you know what Wikileaks emails really revealed that Barack Obama's administration was one hundred percent bought and sold by Wall Street. What do you mean Jimmy? Well, the city group chose Obama's two thousand a eight cabinet. The Wikileaks document revealed. We know this. We reported this a million times Barack Obama's entire cabinet came from a an email from city group. That's true and Biden kicked off his campaign with a bunch of Comcast executives. That's how he kicked off his campaign and then he went to a bunch of Wall Street guys and said nothing going ever fundamentally change in my administration, so you guys are upset about corporate power.
inside of a democratic administration you weren't upset, then you're, not ups and brought it Joe Biden has promised. To do that. So your letter is is worse than a joke, because it's not funny it's funny when we do it with MIKE Mccray, it's not funny when you do it. It's just pathetic. The letters authors argued that Democrats would look hypocritical if they appointed corporate friendly officials after criticising trumpet points for their corporate d. Ya know, there's no different send the parties, Eo Sea routes. Old Cavalia Ion. If there isn't a difference you fuckin liars, your propping up An evil pro war probe military industrial, complex Pro Wall Street probe, big Pharma Profile Tracking party. you're, there beard you know this. You I know this, you guys
about a useful, the bunch of fuckin alcoholics cause. That's how you act. You'll, never stand up to the power structure inside the Democratic Party, which is the dead power structure in this cause, tree. You'll never stand up to it. You weak, feckless, cowards, you career, class, I mean bullshitters, they're gonna, send sternly worded letter you're not actually going to ever. Do anything, though right no oc is that actually going to stand up to Nancy Pelosi, nor is Raul, Gravia they're, a bunch of of fucking gum flappers. They ain't doing shit, they're, supporting an administration, that's just as corrupt as Donald Trump's,. Just imagine explaining to the american people why those names with those affiliations are unacceptable but similar.
Names with similar sounding affiliations are not only are unobjectionable but necessary to the proper functioning of the federal government. They wrote. The real Solving door needs to stop not just change direction. Every few here here yeah, but it's not going to you're, not doing anything, actually stop at your actually doing the actually opposite. You're propping up this guy. The letter which was delivered to Senate leaders, Chuck humor and Mitch Mcconnell they have and give it the Fucker Joe Biden. the letter which was delivered to Senate leaders, Chuck Schumer and Mitch Mcconnell on Friday morning called on both parties to adopt a standard, but organizers told politically was also intended to send a message to Joe Biden syringes it Fettes pathetic.
Dear joke. Go vote! Blue you fuckin chumps, you fucking Chubbs, go vote justice, democratic, blue chumps, fucking, chumps, unbelievable Jimmy. I found an article said in these times. The title is the weapons industry lobbyists advising Joe Biden, let me repeat that title again: the weapons industry lobbyists advising advising Joe Biden Lily Dort Eizenstat has worked as a powerful political adviser, as well as a corporate lobbyists for the oil and an arms industry. Oh wow, look at that they're already in there you fucking lemming liars, you performative bullshitter, Oceana Presley, Raul, Cavalia, you're, all a bunch of performative bullshitters that don't have a spine, you're just there to sheep.
Progressives and workers into a fuckin probe war corporate party that screws them at every turn, but takes care of you right right right. Yes, bunch of fuckin nautilus wonders the progressives in Congress, Jimmy Eizenstat affiliations as a lawyer and a lobbyist firm, Covington and Berlin. Mrs abided at this abided advise s advising him on his foreign policy. Eizenstat has represented fossil fuel company- shell, BP and noble energy, as well as dispense, contrast, Caterpillar Raytheon, be eight EU systems, yeah Boeing and in a tory as private security, firm black water. You got it, that's that's the guy, so you replacing trumps with fuckin trump. You gutless wonders.
Or how about frock Martha, there's another bite and senior adviser he's also Pentagon official? He wants to fund the military about Michelle. Morning. She's, a military investors slated to become bite and second Terry Debates about Avril Haines former Deputy c I a director leading bite in foreign policy transition team she drafted Obama's drone policy that killed ninety percent innocent people by Michael. Lonnie also Directorate Booze Alan reversal, Warhol, Homeland Security contractor Titus out those people are already in his campaign and you're telling people to vote for him right now. You fucking, sell out to the workers. that's what you want to know what ails see I oughta Presley rogue via their sellouts, they ve turned.
Back on workers and people who need help right now, because they will not call out Nancy Pelosi or their leadership. They will not do that and in fact, they're telling people to vote for this piece of shit. Because they can be counted on to be loyal soldiers because they are that's, why All of them voted for the largest upward transferred wealth in the history of humankind, because they're, not your friend,. But that's all you got to go on right as they see that's all you fuckin losers have. That's all you losers have go watch subject. a few to show, tell you how good EO see and I are presently are- go ahead. Go watch that guy show.
How a fossil fuel friendly policy made its way into the Biden campaigns climate plans. Well, it's going to tell you. Sean Connery really grew his hair off for this pandemic. Just like me left us reluctantly voting for Biden in four years. This is a great question. So warriors when you are faced with this exact, same choice. What are you gonna do then? what're you gonna do in eight years or in twelve years or sixteen at what point will you be willing to start voting against yourself. What's your line in the sand, my line in the sand was Hillary Clinton and And some people on the left gotta not sack for about five fucking minutes when Joe Biden got the stuff the nomination. Some people
the left, gotta knapsack for like five seconds and that its God it's gone. It's all gone. I appreciate the lane I don't know if you go look at the views on our show, but we're fucking killing it. So thank you for the lane. Thank you for the lane. Guys who are spouting that kind of bullshit no one's watching their shows unless they put trump in the title or Jimmy Doors name. If Joe Biden Ways, this is great p Vogel, he was he's a big shot at the New York Times now. If Joe Biden. Winds it'll be interesting to watch the re emergence of descent on the left, so many professional programme. of advocates. Our demurely, when I ask about Biden, policy or purse or personnel that run a file of their objectives. Its
unusual amount of discipline from the left doesn't watch the Jimmy show. So what's going to happen in sixteen years. It's like now: it's not the time you got to hold your nose and vote for Chelsea Clinton. You got to vote for Chelsea Clinton, or else I bored Cheney is going to become president. Now is not the time for purity. chess, there's gonna be another present election thousand and thirty two gotta vote for.
so there's your there's, your literally sending a sternly worded letter to no one, not even sending it to Joe Biden, you're progressive caucus, our bunch of pick pathetic, fuckin pukes, then are worthless. They vote for this surveillance state. They all voted for the largest upward trend of wealth in human history. They won't call out Nancy Pelosi. Who is your enemy? They are fucking. Feckless cowards so cowardly. They won't even come on the show like AOC. We can face a question from a jag of com. idiot. She could come on the show and she needed to boost our campaign. She knew my First she knew me before I knew the fuck she was, but now she will come up because she doesn't have the balls to answer a real question. Because she selling you out Ale, sees a fuckin sell out just like Bernie Sand, as they are selling you out, Anita
What they're getting floored almost nothing, that's how bout They are in politics, what are they getting for it, nothing what it Bernie Sanders, get Nah ring they are paid to lose, they are paid, fucking shilts, go vote for them and pack bigger, feel better. I voted for a Democrat who's. Gonna fuck me in the ass. You morons you fucking moron, this isn't brain surgery you on purpose cowards? That's why the left is so of the fucking met, because your budget Our words in your easily bought, what does it take to buy If somebody on the left, a stake, dinner dilemma said BC,
contract! That's all it takes. That's all. It takes an invitation to a podcast, that's it takes to get someone to go blue, no matter who that's all it takes, and I just I just. I think everybody on the left who has a show. Thank you for this huge. Thank you. Thank you for not. In Russia Gate thanks for not having bill Binney on your show, thanks for not having a mate on your show, thanks for not fucking, debunking, Syria or Venezuela or telling the truth. about Bernie Sanders and Cares act. Thank you for not doing Because you leave me a huge lane, because I'm the only mother, Fucker who's gonna do that Hey Bernie Sanders is calling me hello. You damn right, Bernie San! This is calling you that you'll get my message. What message buddy this is the most important election in the modern history of the country, Donald Trump,
must be defeated. I noticed you didn't say what we're going to replace them with you you're trying to me or not you, I could say the man's name just as easily as apple pie, but I don't need to so. I want to say it. Bernie apple part. Who are you telling us to vote for Bernie say what again no problem we got a we have to elect on. We got electric part same. Get me some foot water, I mean water explain to America again what the what the stakes? It's simple! We must not allow it Nightmare scenario over president will never allow Medicare for all during a pandemic and then that's why I'm voting for the Joe Biden is in my heart, not with my
and what do you mean by that? I mean Joe Biden's. Views are not my views, but on some of the key issues I think is views all my views. Okay, but what the views that I had that I like my views, for it, can I be any clearer for God sake, but what specifically look I'm not going to tell you what I'm not going to tell you that we agree on that issue or how we go forward. But there's no question in my mind that Biden's proposals are progressive, okay but which one specifically because I have Bin is full of them. Okay, go ahead you made a particular. Do you want the itemized one by one with NAFTA Bullet points, either one chronologically alphabetical cross reference just did.
Just list some. It doesn't matter Bernie because I can tell you a bunch of them. If you like, no problem there, you got to give me a ballpark of where you want me to start anywhere start anywhere. Well, it's not getting logged out of the details. Now can't we wait until after deal okay, he becomes president, then what happens, keep in mind he's currently betting Republicans, his administration. and no one who supported you everything's to be fuck. Yeah John K, sick MEG, Whitman, Jeff Lake and choice Charlie Baker and Charlie Dent. If Gorp but Charlies, are you alright? I still believe the only way to achieve our goal of fundamentally changing our society is to support a man who promises no fundamental change
So, just choke on that ship for a while and shut the fuck up. Alright, thanks for calling Bernie I've had it to sun goes in the rehab for crack. After pocketing fifty grand a month for influence, pedaling hey My son does this: both videos of cockatoos playing piano and ravens hanging out with cats, where's the goddamn job hey. You know we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that we're not playing that game, but here's another great way you can help support the show is become The previous member. We give you a couple of hours. Premium bonus content every week. and it's a great way to help support the show you could do it by go. Two gb, your company, that cop click it got joined premium and supposed affordable previous program in in the business. It's a. great way to help put them back in the eye. The bastards thanks Everybody who was already a premium member, if you have it you're missing out, we give you lots of bonus content thanks for your support.
hello. This is governor. Chris Christie recognize me. Do I sound different to you sound funny? You not really use you kind of sound the same as you always have, maybe a little tired spent seven days of the Icu. No, not the intensive cake unit, Ensive CARE unit and right now, I'm so fucking tired. I could kick your ass for you to Sunday, but not to much, They get my drift got shut. I think so. Why did you call governor? Because I need to get something off my chest? Okay, this is very odd stories of me to express, for I am not a man who shows easily his contrition too much very often I have a deep humidity and modesty. What belies spreadsheet, my emoticons so forth. So you need to say some to America. That's right! Eye,
That was one day when a shit I bet I would want to listen to people told me they were all infected with the corona. Violence has done it all. hey I'll, see you admitting to nothing. That means I better than you. Well, I did it deliberately hang around the budget, videos, you don't believe in wearing masks. The day was clean, I trusted them. Did I thought I was the safe, so I totally flooded with regret. I know I was wrong dead, but now I am right. that's it from Aron. I wear a you. Scum bags shouldn't have known better. Chris I mean we ve been doing. for months now, but I was in the zone, it could really cold cock. My ass bad fucking, kick me in the balls and graphed on the face. Send me over and kick my balls again. I was totally besides.
myself with astonishment. This for a disease is so rare to but unpredicting where a fuckin max yeah. That's what scientists have been saying for months now, Chris listen to me, you never believe it. I didn't know what hit What made it I would feel really tired. We get out of shape, but wheezing all over the place and the next week really tired. We get out of shape of weed and all over the place, but where the fever, what the fuck right that sounds very serious, Chris no kidding the ramifications are potentially deadly, It was like I was hit by a freight train full of really hard cheese. It comes to those big wheels. I tell you, no one should be happy to get the virus. I wouldn't laugh at at all. I I'm usually pull the whimsies jocularities, though what should be Gabby Arab, Getting inflicted words like the others when it zero
Word masks now. Let me unpack the scientific for you, professor smart guy. I employ all of you to wear maxes it take this phonemic series. I preliterate were a max, but we still got to reopen every corner. country, so fucking. You went and wear a mask. Okay, so you know I don't like to brag. I actually do and what I say is we get a lot of things right at this show and the reason I tell you that is because, if I don't turns out nobody fucking well So people like to come at the show saying that we don't know we're talking about. We don't have solutions, we have lots of solutions and we ve been proven right.
over and over again our solutions rank choice. Voting strong third party, which restarting also direct action, struck out strong unions. We lots of solutions, and we don't don't know we're talking about. We were right about Russia Gate when the entire news media was wrong, so you just tell People I know people are never going to give us propped for that about, given us props for Syria, where we got that right when we eat still to this day, CNN hasn't retracted their bullshit, we're against us or the Washington. How's it still in Wikipedia that you can edit Wikipedia because they're just an extension of the surveillance state and said that intelligence community. So here's enough thing we got right. So you remember what we were talking about Donald Trump, and we said well if Donald Trump gets elected if, if so so, odious to everyone, why wouldn't it be hard for Congress to stop him? It turns out he's not odious. The Democrats are faster. I can always judges of voting for all them. Their helping him passes can complete agenda. They
the money for the border wall that give him an extra one hundred and thirty two billion dollars to do war anywhere. He wants they're, not resisting Donald Trump, and that was that the thing that's what people are upset about- they're, not actually resisting. Donald. memory. Everybody talks about you, gotta Beaufort, for Hillary Clinton because of the immigration right got my god there's people at while here we go. I predicted this This is what I predicted and how I have a prediction by the way for immigration, Donald Trump will deport less Mexicans than Barack Obama. That was my prediction. Donald Trump will deport less Mexicans than Barack Obama. That was my my prediction and twenty sixteen, so it wasn't like. I was a jolly come lately in twenty sixteen. I was saying that, and I was saying that what what data
Trump does. The silver lining of a guy, like Donald Trump being elected president, is. We are now going to know the horrible stuff that our government has been doing all along, so Barack Obama had been caging immigrants. Now everybody knows about it, because Donald Trump is doing it before they didn't care, so that theory has been proven right again and again so here it is one more time and how I have a prediction: by the way for immigration, Donald Trump will deport less Mexicans, then Barack Obama. Well, let's see how I did on the prediction: Jacob
Nika, I will never forget when President Trump, then candidate Trump said to both you and Joe. He was going to create a deportation force and deport millions of people, but the truth of the matter is: he will not even come close to deporting the amount of undocumented immigrants that his predecessor, President Obama, did that's because of a lack of cooperation from local he's. What he's not even going to come close to the deportation of Hispanics and his predecessor, Barack Obama, did. and why is that? Obama did did that's because of a lack of cooperation from local law enforcement, including in places like right here in LOS Angeles Beat so now the local cops are aware of Donald Trump, nefarious immigration and oppressed
of immigration policies very much like Obama's, and so now there stopping it. Isn't that interesting, Donald Europe was basically not doing anything different than Barack Obama, except now everybody's a where of it and as I predicted he didn't report is when is the as Barack Obama, not even close. So you can see this. This is Jacob Silver do a great work on this. He says you can, by the way, what what a great, how to hear that guy is. You can see clearly here that Trump won't even come close to Obama. When it comes to first term deportation numbers will hear the numbers are. so in two thousand and nine Barack Obama deported three hundred and eighty nine thousand eight hundred and thirty four immigrants in two thousand and seventeen Oba Trump deported two hundred. Twenty six thousand one hundred and nineteen. So that's a difference of.
somewhere around one hundred and sixty thousand right. That's cause, I'm not a math surgeon, but that's pretty close to one hundred and sixty thousand right and it just. And then this year he's at a hundred and seventy eight thousand Barack Obama in his last year did four hundred and nine thousand and made a deer twenty twelve Brok about four hundred and nine zero trumps at one hundred and seventy eight zero at the end of October. So it doesn't look like he's going to become close to catching Barack Obama, not even close he's, not even at half of what Barack Obama did in his last year of his first term. Are you telling me Barack Obama was worse on this policy about and Donald Joe and Joe Biden, and so what what Al Gore would call This is an inconvenient truth. Trump trump Deportation did not reach. Yes, we can numbers,
isn't that kind of amazing, and I spokesman to Trump's inability to port, more people in Obama is due in part to the local law enforcement of using to work with eyes like here in la the majority of deportations, come from cooperation. with state and local law enforcement. He is, he goes into the jail watch. This They one reason President Trop hasn't been able to deport more people than President Obama. Is some localities are ending the practice of handing over undocumented inmates to ice after they serve their time, including LOS Angeles County jail? The world's largest there used to be a big tv screen air had the name of every and made the charge and everything And so I was here in uniform malfunction about like fish in a barrel and so, when I got here December of twenty eighteen. This is my first stop. The job and I saw the ice agents here and I said that's it: they need to leave
twice since our tour of the jail ISIS staged high profile raids across the country, including in LOS Angeles, arresting over one hundred, but President Trump is still a long way away from his goal of deporting millions. From inside ISIS former office in L a county jail. You understand, why is sad that we participate in that for so long when you look at Obama being criticised for being the porter and chief, this had to contribute to those numbers. Yes, this was part of the yes definitely and now that Trump is prey. Did it he's aware of of it and are not doing it? So a black eye with a muslim name turns into it off. or terry and fascist right winger. Nobody notices because he's a black eye with a muslim name. You wouldn't you, wouldn't expect him be a right wing, winger authoritarian, and he was now
Brok Obama was a wolf in Sheep's clothing, and so we got to do all that stuff which led us to electing Donald Trump, but Donald Trump and allowed to do that, because he's a wolf and wolf clothing Imagine how bad Barack Obama had our immigration system when we had to count on the morality of the prison industry to stop it, and they are that's what debt and allay that's what that sheriff just said. Think about how sad that is. That. We had to Barack Obama's immigration policy, was so nefarious, so evil so oppressive that we have to now rely on prison, the prison industry to be a check on it. That's what that was Sad we participated for so long that he says it's very true. It's also sad where the world's largest penal colony.
I'm counting the day, so here's MAR camel. So this is exactly what I'm talking about This is. Why said, Hillary Clinton would have been worse. Because those numbers would have been way higher of deporting Hispanics, you understand now again, I'm the Miss Guy, doing a new show, and yet somehow I get almost everything right and everyone. I was getting everything wrong. Over and over and over again how the What did I know this? How did I know this in and sixteen literally, yeah nightclub comedian and the people whose entire life, is doing this kind of work and studying that had no idea, and there still justice does dumb today, as they were twenty. Sixteen. Instead of preparing every body for the whole troubles, that is Joe Biden, they're, making sure everybody
gets behind him to elect them and then what are they? Gonna do after Joe Biden is elected? This is what Gonna, do I'm counting the day until this election is over. So I can try to ignore politics and go back to tweeting. Showbiz trivia. Idlers laughing in heartwarming animal rescue videos like this one yeah you mean, while eighty percent of the country that works paycheck to pay check you mean why thirty million Americans don't have health care in eighty million Americans are underinsured and six hundred thousand Americans go bankrupt just by getting sick every year you mean you're gonna, go back to that because your which and your white and your privilege- and you don't have anything that you want government to do for you, you just don't like that. Donald trump is a moron on television everyday make makes you feel goofy inside makes you feel Ikey. You know really give a shit about people's problems or Hispanics being it did. ported or women's right to choose or or people having a decent job or not, kill
in brown people in poor countries, you don't care about any there's a cure body. He cares about. Donald Trump makes them feel Ikey. In the meantime screen actors guilt is taking away everybody's healthcare in the ring, Wyndham exam what a great point. In the meantime, all your actor friends just lost their health care, but you're gonna go back to not talking about that stuff right because it's not going to be a republican doing it you on purpose to all this is Why? Don't you just put it? What did you just wait out? I'm out of touch fuckin asshole, and I couldn't give a shit about my fellow man one bit, but I'm gonna virtue signal cause Trump makes me feel Ikey, that's what he should have tweeted Yoda says pay attention to what's actually going on in the world? You don't. I can't do a Yoda voice guy, Can we please take a second? I remember the mediocre actor who got the gig of a lifetime and hasn't had to worry about money for over forty years. He misses key
videos, so I can try to ignore politics, a summons responding. So I can try to responding to this. Liberals telling you that, as long as Trump is in president they're going to go back to sleep and literally ignore politics. They don't want to hear about it when its liberals destroying the country and won't be pushing Biden anywhere waited go blue check bath if Hilary was president we'd be at brunch Not only is this sign completely tone deaf, it doesn't even look right. It looks like it says we beat brunch. Doesn't it is yes like what is there a country name brunch Hillary wants to invade or something what do you. To say, regarding the former president of brunch, we came, we saw He died
administration had built cages for immigrants, the padding in those cages, is brought to you by hope. her hair there, they are here the iron and sleeping in tinfoil. Tonight, Rachel Matter when on one of this is from shown king by the way, not exactly You're right, winger, centrist, jog king, says night Rachel Matter went in on the horrors of the Real Donald Trump caging children, except the photos use, were literally of the Obama administration, caging, children, it something Democrats just refused to come to grips with this is that it This is why you have trump, and this is what we're going to have a worse trump and for years, because Democrats will not come to grips with the cause of Donald Trump, and it was Brok Obama, Joe Biden and the Democrats. Legislating in governing like right wing Republicans, because they were they are their corporatist, Barack Obama's entire cabin It was chosen from an email from city group. I bet you didn't
no that either pleased. Please don't do that talking in these waters, When talking to Mark Hamel about going back to sleep. He says, please don't do that! We're still facing catastrophic Emma Jane staggering inequality are homeless crisis, which will certainly get. What worse? Are you bag genocide in Yemen need prominent voices to help put the Democrats to act bigger in the face of these issues, nice, but that would come but Walk Walker, I get it I giving here you're saying I share your sentiment, but that would involve coming to terms with the fact that they need to change. They don't think they're. They don't see any neat reasons, especially after they be Trump ATLAS. Look I've got some bad news for you. Both Republicans and Democrats are part of the empire, and that's that's the in problem.
Chuck and Nancy Policy are not part of the rebel alliance. If you want the light side, the fourth you're going to need to leave your mansion and attend to protest. That's what I would say. Liberal sewing sewing. This is great liberals reaping wait. No, no! No! No! No! No! So there you go I'll play it one more time, just because it such a good clip. You know it's a great clip and how I have a prediction by the way for immigration down, tromp will deport less Mexicans, then Barack Obama, Jaeger from home,
Nika. I will never forget when President Trump, then candidate Trump said to both you and Joe. He was going to create a deportation force and deport millions of people, but the truth of the matter is: he will not even come close to deporting the amount of undocumented immigrants that his predecessor, President Obama, did. That's because, okay. Jimmy daughters T know what he's talking about Jimmy. He is not informed Jimmy Dunes, a blah blah blah, go. Listen to those people. Tell you to vote for Joe Biden. Go! Listen to those people to tell you the
Supreme Court is so important that the Democrats won't even delay for twenty days. That's how important that's how important the Supreme Court is. The debris Democrats they tell you to keep voting for. There are so different from the Republicans, won't even delay the Supreme Court nominee for twenty days go! Listen to those shows. Please go listen to those shows. Tell you Bolivia, the wrong shit about Bolivia percent wrong about Venezuela hundred percent wrong about Syria. What do those people get right? Nothing yet. I guess they're considered lefties because they're for Medicare for all but they're, not even for that.
There it is predicted by Jimmy Door and now, if the Democrats, what I didn't predicts was at the Democrats, would be so horrible and the media would be so corrupt that they would spent four years talking about Russia instead of how we got Donald Trump. I did that predict that I did not see that coming. I thought they were going to drop the Russia stuff after the election. Oh boy was I So yeah that I got that wrong for sure I did not see the Democrats, their supporters, supporters in the media in you tube in every. I did not see them being it's horrible as they are. I did not expect you however, to go along with Russia Gate, but they did
a lot of them took the cowardly way out, never even talked about it. That's a pretty cowardly thing to do. But we stick our chin out here, because why? Because I'm not looking to get a job at MSNBC or CNN, or the Washington Post. Really you don't have a contract with the MSNBC. I have to ask it Jimmy. I do not, and I'm not looking for one a n I already already already married was Amis success instead of comedy. already got my bona fides. I already made my living already did. My thing already became a success as a stand up comic had to stand up comedy specials on comedy central. One of them was award winning chosen best of the year by Itunes and Punchline magazine, and then I want to have enough the special on Hulu. So three specials, I think that's that's three rings.
And by the way they all stand up, they all hold up. You can watch and if you can go back to my first special on comedy central from two thousand and three solid, still salad by the way, that's five, ten Amy, you can go back. So you go see me when I was extra tall. Go back to that, we can see Jimmy go, go wow Jimmy Door, looking slinky. What is that? Is that a word sleep like it's a new word lanky, maybe lanky, is what I was looking for. Link is usually not a slim and lanky lanky lanky they, yes Slanky, it's usually not using. I think lanky is not a good compliment it anyway, So that's why I, when I come to this, I don't I'm so easy to outdo everybody to. I was able to go into the studio at the young Turks and tell the truth about Russia, Gate and Venezuela and Syria with ease while everyone else was struggling to get those stories right and actually getting them all wrong, and here another one I got right, while everyone
else was getting it wrong. Member. I said that at with drums, gonna put. The ugly face on the horrible stuff our governments are doing all along, and he has people are aware of this now. That's why trump is unable to deport as many people as Joe Biden. but wait as soon as Joe Biden becomes president. I wonder, I wonder, he's he's not getting rid of ice. Everybody ramps it back up. I just want to sit here and play this tape over and over. All daddy want to do another story. so you know what happened to the CNN legal analyst and and guy who works with New Yorker or Jeffrey Toobin, he's a very unremarkable, purple guy, but he got caught jerking off on a zoom meeting meeting he's at work. He can't began again. You can't wait till works over so anyway. I didn't. I thought the funniest waited the funniest guy who covered
Was this guy in Southern California, in LOS Angeles watch how he could watch this watch, this cautionary tale start this morning with a cliche cautionary cautionary tale, caution, married cautionary tale. You know everybody likes a jerk off work. A cautionary tale start this morning with a clear Hey phrase, I suspect many people. The media were saying to themselves yesterday there for the grace of God, go I there. for the grace I've gotten a lot of people in the media is because you know how we all jerk off at our zoom meetings. What is he saying? That's what he's saying the A lot of people in me, the cost, Retail start this morning with a clear hey phrase. I suspect many people in the media we're safe to themselves yesterday there for the grace of God. Go I the particular career killing act whereby
to describe isn't something that just anyone would do, but the ideas it's just says. If anyone would do well, it sounds like it if you sing there, but for the grace of God goes, I it doesn't sound like just anyone would do well, that's what you're making it sound like because he's like going. Oh, my god! What this guys do is what he heard. That story is like. Oh, my god that could be me all crazy shit. I do July acute in to twenty that you We have an absolutely great career and have that Greer almost immediately and entirely derailed by a singer, really stupid act is just because you took your dick out at work and started jerking off in front of a group of people. You can have a group a career, and just because of one little thing like taking your dick out in front of everybody, a work jerk up. What really chilling consider the case of Jeffrey to a deeply respected writer and television commentator deeply. While he said it's really. Chile yes, lay great career and have that
almost immediately and entirely derailed by us goddamn, really stupid act is really chilling. It's really chilling that you could ruin your career by taking your dick out in front of all your coworkers and jerking off that's chilling. I would think that would just be logical. That would be expected. That you're going to ruin your career if you're at a business meeting, and you take your dick out and tart jerking off in I'm just thinking that that that's logical again. not saying that I wouldn't take my dick out jerk off during a business meeting at all. I probably would, but as a goose but as a Guph, consider the case of Jeffrey Tube in a deeply respected writer and television. Potato deeply deeply respect their deeply respected gay plea until you today served regularly as the honor chief justice corresponded for CNN. What
really amazes me is the John Foods. The Susan Ireland's who say the President has learned his lesson He has not know he has not he's gonna. Do this again here. want he he said he will do it again, and the idea that there is some chastening here is absurd, chase but has been a fixture on CNN for decades, and this story show. First of all, you know the guy who picked that clip has as you heard, because there's Jeffrey Itobad saying he's not going to change I'm going to data, and he made sure to have a clip where you can see tube. One hand was how we remain placed among the media elite. Imagine this a top tier zoom call people on the call some of the biggest writers from the most respected magazine in the country. Tuban is on a with colleagues from the new Yorker, now, what listen to how he tubing is outside they go to video and as they
what a video of zoom calls. The rapporteur says, to burn his honor zoom car. So what you think this is proven. Zoom call that's the way I did, but it's not it's just be wrong. It's just base is just generic footage of zoom calls that they decide to stick into the story because somehow be roll people think be rural, makes news more info. thing it doesn't. I can the story. I ask you: why do you know what is in contradiction with have a video of assume call, because I could never imagine what that is so It would have mediately. He starts to do this. It confuses even his colleagues and they interrupted watch. This will on the call from the biggest riders from the most respected, Megan and how he says it. Tuban is on a call with colleagues from the new Yorker who are playing some was on their don't know. These are just this. Is our limited election coverage
zoom call. Why are you showing? No? No, this this generic zoom call. Well, that's confusing! Why would you do that because the producer had justice by their job arbitrariness and be role here. It's just confused people I'd so there's, from the most respected magazine in the country to ban is on a call with colleagues from the new Yorker who are playing some rich giants I was on their donor. These are just this, isn't he had limited but I'll election covered along with the Donnelly folks from a new Yorker from New York City Premier, public radio station w and Y see all told about twenty people are on the zoom callers and break out rooms. Speaking of breaking out, according to press reports at some point Tuban engages in an act out speaking Break it out, he breaks out his dick speaking of breaking out. Probably know why how its points of this work and watch how they describe masturbation boarding
Todd new show in LA watch how they describe it out, according to press reports at some point open engages in an intimate act of self gratification, seeming an intimate act of self gratification and aware that an intimate act of self gratification. how they described it. Daddy. What's an intimate act of self gratification mean it means jerking off Things he was jerking off. Oh intimate active, softly jerking off. Zoom cameras is on for his part. Tuban calls the incident and embarrassing and stupid mistake new Yorker has suspended the long time writer tubing himself ass to be taken off the earth CNN. Well, deal will they quote personal issue tube in himself, to be tailor. I'm such a good person that. I need to go daddy, you see, I've got some problems that are
That I've had my whole life, but I'm never going to correct all say what happens. The tube His vessel hymn book about the order, something the run of his life, was the basis for the star started. Ethics movie turban had other books and development for Hollywood productions and, as you can imagine, this is received huge headlines all around and the question men You can imagine it receive huge headlines. I mean look a bit like a ten. headline my right, ladies: did you see how big that headlight is? People are asking, especially in this climate cab, Tuban career survive? It is one of the fastest and
this falls. One can possibly imagine so. Will the staple of the media both in print and broadcast, vanished forever? Or is there some path back? It's impossible the terrain, these things there is another scene and colleagues, a deeply harrassing in public scandal who reestablished his career and on the other day, For that Yorker says: they're conducting they're talking about Brian Williams, leaning in my brain whimsy that car lying about his war record and he was exposed to. regions on the earth today, for their part, the New Yorker says: they're conducting complete investigation. The new Yorker is conducting a complete investigation of setting. What does what is that investigation? Look like
I'm the investigator Jeffrey. Let me see your hand. Let me see the other side. Let me see the other hand. Okay, are these other hands that you're using when you're on the Skype call? These are okay, an investigation over. What to do investigating. Are these the hands you were using that night they are okay, they're going to do a full investigation. Yikes did you drop your presided? Please see, I did you see that the headline we're gonna need some headline, but now I think what we have now is that we might have to switch the double seeking to Louis. We have a graphic for the Doublespeak Anal Lucy case famously also add a career of then these is that over he still tours
So he had some damage done to his career when he was revealed that he would sexually masturbate in front of women against their will, and so we started that when someone is being extra disingenuous, we got you go like this. When someone stack straight, I give double seeking and guess what Justice JET Jeff Basis she's gonna give you the double award this week goes to Jeffrey Toobin. Our double CK award goes to Jeffrey Tub in okay, all right that, is our Jeffrey Tubid story. Thank you. Jimmy Rock Obama on the line, hello, hi Jimmy I'm reaching out to all of my thoughts, prayers and support for the recovery of the president of the United States.
The first lane yeah they already recovered Brock Player, seat, thoughts and prayers do work. After all, they are an important subset of hope, or maybe it was thirteen doctors and millions of dollars in experimental drugs and therapy. That did it. Everything of that and that's why I support Jill Biden. I mean Joe Biden, Hey Jimmy. Can you hear it hear what here comes Obama Joe Biden is going to put your car in verse, turn back the Obama meter and get America back to a town normalcy. Are you ready for a body like the traffic jams. Roger that hey. You know, there's a lot more that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast. How do you hear the entire phone call? You gonna become a premium member go to Jimmy Door Comedy.
Com sign up it's the most affordable premium program in the business. Today's show is written by RON Lacome, Mark Van Lando at step, Samorano, Jim Earl, MIKE Mccray and Roger Writtenhouse. All the voices perform to they are the one in the only the inevitable MIKE Mccrae can be found it MIKE Mc radar. That's it for this week you'll be the best you can be and I'll keep being me. Don't don't don't don't you don't? I don't worry. I'm not worried.
Transcript generated on 2020-12-05.