Welcome to all together now fridays with a moth, I'm your host for this week, then we'll burn this month. All together now is all about connection. What happens when we're truly honest with others and ourselves which, while we're being honest, is easier said done so they are stories- are about the less than beautiful moments on the path to connection. Our first story is from adrian walden, andrea told this story at a los angeles story, slam where the theme of the night was envy, here's adrian live at the most. So I don't think any of you know this girl, but trust me when I say it was ridiculous. How rich julia was her gated community was so gated that there was like a gate around every house. It was ridiculous how many horses she had, and it was super ridiculous that I even cared about this in the first,

place because Julia was a fifteen year old child and I was a thirty year old woman who really should have had my life together I did not have my life together and that's all. I knew that new julia in the first place, because, thanks to a divorce and the recession, I had been demoted from living life with a normal, respectable human being person and was now living life as a driver's ed instruct. Or I do not recommend living life as a driver's ed instructor. First of all, there is a uniform, not look. Cool uniform, like doctors are astronauts, get where this uniform as all catchy, and it makes with every one who wears it, regardless of gender or body type, look like they have man, boobs and lady hips, and the second worst thing about being a driver's ed instructor. Is that you are being drivers had instructor against

All that was going wrong in my life. I probably shouldn't have cared so much about julio's, except that julia was both everything I wanted to be when I was her age and she was doing everything I wanted to do now. She was a ballet dancer and I was a kid I loved ballet so much. I want to be a ballet dancer but when I told my mom they want to start taking ballet lessons. She told me pretty definitively that was too fat to be I will read it, but that's, ok is why people don't get skinny anyway, and why don't you be an engineer like your damn? Let me alone so not only did Julia get to take ballet lesson. She had a mom who liked her juliet. Julia also had like three cars at fifteen and thirty one. I had zero cars because my car had just been stolen. Rent control department pretty off being the only member of that apartment complex, who was not also affiliated with the kenobi park. Alabama street gang came with some baggage.

Julius has also had heat. Another time I was like cholera. Of every night, because I was the only you told me I could afford to turn on, and I didn't think that I could do like her any more until it was like december, and I made the mistake of asking her what she was going to holidays and chagos we're going to know why again socks I don't want it to be like, oh, my god, you're, so right spending a week in paradise with people who love you sounds sounds absolutely horrible. You ungrateful little child who can't even drive a stick, but you can't say that to a kid. So, instead I said oh hawaii. Well, that sounds fine. What do you like to do? There earth and she goes oh, I have been so many times. I don't even do anything anymore and I wanted to say you're a horrible human being, but you can't say that to a kid. So, instead I said you're right, does soc what about the new year any fun resolutions and she goes.

I just hope. Next year is better than this year nine. She should remember the boy from I don't care because I've been going through a divorce and she was gonna be over this guy, like next semester by you, can't say that too So instead I said: oh, is it because of Michael and she goes that, and I really hope my back it's better and then she told me about how she was almost paralyzed so tat she was a ballet dancer been dancing.

Elite level, since she was a little kid and she told me all in all on and on about all the practices and the shows and the competitions. It all sounded wonderful, and then she started talking about how that year when she was done with a practice, her arms and legs would feel really tingly and they started like burning and then sometimes you couldn't feel them at all and how she started taking ibuprofen, because it was so painful start taking every prevent like candy and summons. It was so painful like that one help, and now she started wrapping ice packs to her body all day long now that didn't help and how one day she laid down after a show to like relax and she couldn't get up again. It was a stress, fracture and two vertebrae. The doctor ordered her off of her feet and out of the toe shoes probably forever, and she goes. I don't really know who to be, and I totally got that cause. I was going through a big shake with my life too, and so we got back to her house and I looked at her giant mantra and or horses or cars and all her stuff, and it was like it didn't matter how much stuff she had or how expensive it was because if she couldn't have that one thing that made her feel

awesome. It was pretty worthless. You probably shouldn't say that to a kid. So instead I told her very honestly that I hoped that she had an awesome trip to hawaii. Thank you, the that was adrian walden. Since putting away her driving, khakis Adrian has written or animated shows on disney, netflix and amazon. She was also the host of the twenty twenty nebula ward and create. At the webby nominated jane, austen, themed web series, black girl in a big dress. Next up this week,

eighty backer katy told this story at a phoenix stories land where the theme of the night was am here's came up the man I love to hear cats. I come from a family that doesn't particularly care for cats, in fact my mind not only dislikes cats very much, but she has an actual cat phobia, unlike any good old fashioned, familial conditioning, not fear, has been passed down to me and, despite my best efforts to avoid these creatures, somehow they have highlighted some pretty important moments in my life. The very first conversation I had with my husband was regarding cats. In two thousand and nine, my sister's dog had a litter of puppies, and his family took my favorite one

remember exactly what I said, but I sent him a message on facebook saying something along the lines of I'm so happy for you guys, she's the best. I do have remember exactly what my husband said to me. It was one sentence in it. Read I more of a cat person and I thought to myself. This guy is rude and he's a cat person. That's two strikes, but my It also happens to be tall dark in handsome. So what you gonna do a year later, we started dating, and things are pretty serious and we started to spend a lot of time together and, as a result, I spent a lot of time with his cat frank frank was an indoor outdoor orange tabby. He was a really proficient hunter and he would bring in sometimes living. Sometimes dead lizards, mice, hummingbirds and although until this is a sign of love and affection, I did not care for having a half decapitated lizard dropped into my and this was like immersion therapy. For me, I was having reoccurring nightmares that thousands of cats were coming in from every window endorse my house get a scratch off my face, but I

how to make a decision as falling in love with this rude cat guy Anne Frank came along with them, so I just to learn about frank and as they learned tell him, I fear, started to lessen and we developed a bond. He would greet me at the door when I would walk in and roll around on his back. It was pretty cute. I would give him my shoes to indulge his weird weird shoe fetish. He would now and scratch incessantly at my door at four in the morning to let me know if you wanted his football topped off menace. I went on our bond grew stronger and he really became my first cat friend in two thousand and fifteen. I got a call from a deer childhood friend of mine map and I dont have enough time to tell you all the things I like to tell you about math. But I'd like to highlight my favorite qualities about him magnetic hilarious, intelligent.

And I love to spend time with him and I'll, never forget it. I was pacing around ikea as he was explaining to me that he had been feeling well and he went to the doctor and they discover that his colon was covered in tumors and he was diagnosed with a really aggressive form of cola answer and I know there's many of you out there that can empathize with the feeling of your gut dropping and desperately wanting to do or say something to make something go away, and there is nothing he had a girlfriend that uprooted her life in los angeles, to be here with him during his course of treatment, and I started to feel real push and pull the push of wanting to spend all the time that I could with my friend and tell him everything I was thinking and feeling and the pull of not wanting.

It'd be intrusive during a sensitive time. I didn't want to take away time that he could be spending with other people, and I did not want to remind my friend that he was sick, so I was reserve to keeping it really light and checking in he how's it going thinking of you praying for you. Let me know if you need anything, and that was it and in two thousand and seventeen matt died and I was devastated and I felt this deep feeling of regret not having had the opportunity but more important, We have the courage to told my friend how much he meant to me while he was here. I didn't tell him that I loved him. I didn't tell him that he had changed my life for the better. I didn't tell him that he was one of the best people I had the privilege of knowing, and I didn't tell him how much I would miss him when he was gone later, that you're his girlfriend decided. It was time to get her life back on track and move back to california and in the process she couldn't bring her cat with her to the apartment she had

and and without hesitation. I said I would take him and I immediately started having anxiety, because while I knew and light ship frank my husband's cat, I was not so one cats. I was still really scared of them and I had visions of this coming into my life and being really mean and destroying my house, but I did it without petition because it felt like something I could grab on to something that I could do for my friend by lightening the load for someone that had loved and cared for him during his time of need. Luckily, for me, aside from taking a massive dump on my brand new couch, the first night, he was in our home, one cow Carlos the giant russian blue cat is one of the nicest animals you'll ever meet he's a stage five clinger. He wants. Snug only from head to toe and he's part of the family in the, All of last year on frank, got really sick, my husband's cat on my first cat friend and he was dying of kidney failure and we had to take him to the vat for the awful that appointment. That aid only ever heard of

my husband and I drove home with our empty pat carrier. We crawled into bed with Juan Carlos, I thought of my friend man. I thought about frank and I cried. I cried over a cat. cried over one cat, as I was deeply comforted by another, and now I hate to love cats. Thank you. There was treaty back, is an arizona native, and she is working on her masters degree in marriage and couples there. This was katie's first story at the moth, and she says telling the story was incredibly therapeutic. I was able to shared with mats parents, and I can tell how much they miss their son

How big it feel how much he is loved and remembered by his friends a testament to what an amazing person he was as for Juan Carlos as one Carlos is eleven large and in charge, while he lacks the killer instinct afraid he just caught his first lizard is we got him two years ago? Any proudly delivered it just like frank words. He still them snuggles every chance. He get any always cheers the up when I needed now. This story gives us the per

perfect excuse to show you all can't pictures here to our website z, photos of Juan Carlos and frank as well as katy Matt, and her husband, Ricky, the moth dot org, slash extras, if you're inspired to think more deeply about our stories this week. Here are a few questions to get. You started. What is something you ve grown to love. When was a time you did or didn't have the courage to tell someone how you felt about them. You can also find these problems in the extra for this the episode on our website, the marked out or slash extras. That's all for this week until next time from all of us here, the moth have a story worthy weak. Dame ovarian is a long time host and story teller at them off. She's us of the host of the pad cast danes eclectic

brain podcast production by Julia purcell. The my podcast is presented by pr x. The public radio exchange Helping made public radio more public at pr ex dot, org.