Welcome to them off podcast, I'm your host dame wilburn this year, we falls on a full moon it's making the holiday a little extra creepy. The full moon holds a lot of power for a lot of people. In addition to, fighting ocean, tides and appearances in plenty of folk, lore werewolves. Anyone the full moon, is also deeply importantly, witchcraft and astrology in these pray. This is the moon represents our world the full moon, heightens our motions and puts us more in touch with ourselves and others despair Those on the other side is a time for deeper self reflection and powerful realizations. So this week, we have two stories about listening to your intuition and the revelations that can follow our first story, Where is catholic, the kitty harris kathleen too? This story at a story slam in new york city, where

The of the night was haunted. Here's kathleen lie at the mouth. Is it me? You may, even though, not all ghosts of scale some of them haunt you with the nicest sweetest kindest intentions. I'm a native new yorker. my parents were before me and there's were before them one anomaly in our long sitting. Lineage was my great grandfather, edward marice. He A graded from northern ireland in nineteen o one passes, through Alice island at age. Twenty he live. Broome street and the lorry side, and he worked,

as a trolley conductor, navigating the street cars through the treacherous turn once infamously known as dead man Its curve and manhattans union square. After he suffered a heart attack was widowed. and retired he moved with his daughter and son in law, my maternal, parents in queens. His granddaughter my mother often remarked that edward and Irish farm boy could grow, cale and I bought in the most narrow strip of queen soil you'll have ever seen and a cemented backyards. Long before that was bearded, hipsters had their nice sustainable gardens and that nice brooklyn rooftops. He was a miracle worker

in nineteen. Seventy I was born whose first great grandchild and Hugh was thrilled to have lived long enough to meet me and to witness his future first hand, however, as we called him bounced me on his knee as well as a nine year old man, could Singing me, I already fight songs. I in turn, as a toddler delighted in sitting next to him and patting his hand, while he's told me stories and blowing him kisses repeatedly every time I left them, In nineteen seventy two, when I was to bob, I had a stroke and had to be rushed to the hospital, my mother, his beloved granddaughter adored him and wood. him frequently in those days children couldn't go to the hospital to visit patients, and my great grandfathers lament was that he couldn't see me my mother would reassure him. Don't worry.

you getting better. You get out of the hospital you'll see her soon. I promise you one of their last visits. My great grandfather took her hand and said Eileen, I'm ninety one, I'm old, had a good life. I'm getting out of here. I'm accuracy the baby. He again. A few nights later, while he was still recuperating in the hospital, my mother tried to put me to sleep. As a wild and active toddler, I often crashed in bed immediately, but that night, for some strange reason I wouldn't settled down, I could I tossed and turned and thrashed, and this went on for. Hours my mother finally decided to bring me into bed with her and my father. They were worried. Maybe I was sick. Maybe I was speaking fever. This continued till the euro,

hours of the morning when I suddenly sat up and crawled towards the edge of the bed and looked intently and happily at a dark corner of my parents. My parents are nothing, but they knew that I saw I think, because my eyes lit up- and I smiled and I clapped my hands and I said goodbye blah blah goodbye mama and I blew him dozens of kisses into the emptiness he's gone. My father said I know my mother answered and she said it was one of the most peaceful, beautiful moments she's ever witnessed in her life. They looked at the clock. It was four. Am a few hours later, my mother's father, my grandfather,

all to say that bagua had passed between the hours of three and four a m in the hospital. Someone could give a very logical explanation for my behavior, but here's my heartfelt one. I believe that my great grandfather use me as an innocent conduit. the afterlife to show us that vast oceans, an emigrant passenger ships and perilous turns and death itself cannot break the bonds of family or love. You later in my twenties. My groovy hippy mother gave me a birthday present, a psychic ready. the medium said to me: You know there are a lot of spirit guides around you: One of them is named edwards

did you know in edwards? Yes, I answered, I knew and edward he's never left you. She said now. I answered he never has you never will thank you. That was carefully with kitty. Hers. Kathleen is fifth generation native new yorker writer and co host of what's your story alive, reading series in northern new jersey, where she lives with her husband and her two children to see. Some photos are carefully his great grandfather. Edward Morris had to our website the moth data worth thinking about.

ghosts in this time of year. I've had my fair share. A family members and friends coming to checking. me from the other side, my slight carefully, but there was this: One time when I was in college, I was working campus security and my. ran Paul retainers was working with We decided instead of splitting a twenty four hour shift. We just work the twenty four hour shift together. now that required. At least one of us to go check on all the buildings wants at nine o clock at night wants a six o clock in the morning. I decide take the nine o clock. And I went out through the door and went about the business of checking the locks when I got to the cafeteria. Yeah. It sounded like there was a party going on. So I, hold on the doors to see if they were open. If someone on camp is it just gotten inside

but they were locked and as I pull the doors the party got louder like it was getting closer like it was coming towards me. The hairs stood up on the back of my neck and it shook me so that I just quickly went through the rest of the building's locked up what I was supposed to, and instead of coming back, pass the cafeteria into the dorm, I decided to walk around and go outside, so I'm coming through the front doors where security is politics: amuses, hey, why didn't you just come back? Pass the cafeteria said well, no real reason sober we're hanging out drinking coffee when it comes up six a m paul, perhaps a master keys and goes out towards the cafeteria. about thirty minutes later. Paul comes back in through the, front doors just like I had so

asked him. Hey is why didn't you come back through the door? A look we didn't I say when you went past the cafeteria. Did it sound like there was a party going on the hair stood upon the back of my neck again, I said yeah and when I pulled on the doors he finished, my sentence The party got louder. I said yes and we sat there for a minute. just stared at each other in absolute silence. Eventually, he started talking about was what was on tv, and so did I, because both it was realised that if I heard It- and he heard it is a pretty good chance- it was real the thing about that others. where those who have gone before as hang out, they don't you Come see us at. How will we then Come see us whenever they want.

next storyteller on this halloween episode is Michael waltz, Michael told this. We had a story slam in Boston or the theme of the night? was also haunted. Here's michael not aftermath the good okay wow. It's a lot scarier up here than you thought it would be. Lemme start with the apologies one, I'm terrified, so I'm probably going to screw this up a whole bunch of times. So I apologize for the Now. Secondly, on forty seven, I know right you're thinking I look great for a middle aged guy right,

Edward forty, seven years, I've been called a lot of things and I ve been told they either am or not something like transvestite transsexual cross, dresser transgendered you name it a whole bunch of stuff. So if going forward I use the wrong turn when I'm giving this story. I apologize to people out there if we could just check her liberal privilege, the door for the rest of the night, or at least the next five minutes. It's an mcr crowd. I know that's hard, but I so I forty seven,

As I said, and I back in my early thirties, I was in love. I was in love with this woman. She was fantastic and we were together for several years so like it was serious. It was a real thing and by the third date I had told her that I was a crossdresser and and pretty much what she said to me was fine. I don't want to know, I don't want to see it, and I don't want my friends to know now. You may think that why would you be with a woman and how could you be in love with a woman who is like that and who would say that about you and that's where the haunted part comes in of tonight's theme, because my tribe people like me, we are haunted. We are haunted by the ghosts of girlfriends past there's the girlfriend who said

You know you're fantastic and I think you're great, except for or the woman you told after the third day, and she never answered your calls or the one who said you can tell me anything. I love you and then didn't approach. The prejudices connubial heavy, the rest of it, unlike in the not so much so anyway. So my try, we keep our skeletons in our closet But there's one day during the year were the skeletons in the ghosts and goblins and the freaks, and we all come out to play together and that's all we so one year my girlfriend says I want This really fancy halloween party downtown to fund resources, big thing- and I say great: let's go and.

I say why don't I go and drag goes to which I know right. It's a great idea. She thinks for a minute, and she says you know what yeah, why don't we try that when we do that, I'm like oh, this is great. Alright, we'll do that. So I get this witch costume when I put it together and we go to the fancy event and there's the. Random comment that you expects like. Oh, why you do that a little too well or c'mon. It's really not the it's the first time, you've done this or whatever, and I deny it and I lie because that's what I'm supposed to do, but the one thing I don't notice is that my usually sober girlfriend has been drinking like a sailor and she is smash. She is vomiting puking drunk in the bar, so I get her and I get her in a cab and I get us home and I get her into the bathroom,

herr, because that's what you do you know and wall on holding her hair and she gets a breath at one point into relaxes, and she as pretty much out of nowhere. I I could never marry somebody like you. I know right. That's a whoa and I'd love to say that at that point I put my head up high and I walked out or that a couple of days later she came to her senses and said I love you and we've been together for the last fifteen years, but none of that happened we broke up three months later and but that moment was the birth of an idea, and then idea was that I was never going to create another ghost. I was going to be haunted by another girlfriend. I wasn't going to be with anybody

it was a shame to be with me and it wasn't going to be with anybody who made me ashamed to be myself, and I never did. Thank you, the that was Michael loans. Michael actually told me story wearing one of his favorite dresses. He said he throw his name in the head a couple of times, but knew if he was going to take this story. He need an extra bit of confidence. Born and raised in new jersey, Michael, is the youngest of seven children. He's lived out. Boston for the last twenty years of his gender identity. Michael said quote gender non binaries closest gender queer is easy. But we do loaded afraid he said for most of the world, saying I'm a guy that

Some female things works. It doesn't feel accurate, but it's close enough a bad english translation of a great spanish poet region on the phone with Michael to talk more about halloween his moment of clarity and his life. telling his story. Firstly, I just want to get this out and on the record that I still occasionally talk to that woman who I was dating at the time and she's, not bad people, I don't think of her as bad people. It took me thirty five years to get accustomed to myself and the fact that she couldn't meant match me in two years. I can't really hold that against her. That being said, I that night that halloween something inside of me snapped

I didn't snap in a bad way. It said no more of this, no more of hiding no more of trying to be somebody that night and no more feeling embarrassed about who I am. I guess I was in love with her enough and had heard enough to meeting I realized that I wasn't going to go through this again and it's progressed and I started off in hiding as a closeted cross dresser with somebody who didn't tell anybody about it. He was only something I would do in private to then somebody who would go out on halloween only I love halloween and it's not always about well now, it's not always about dressing up for years. It was always about presenting as some kind of female costume, because hollowing was the only time. I could do that and leave the house and be around people and it would be accepted, or at least not. ostracized for it. The first time I had one friend who worked at a beauty store and she loved the idea of doing my makeup. Then, of course, there were a bunch of other women who female friends of mine,

want to join in and then somebody got the idea. I should be a french made because they were like. Oh, we need to a costume, and that was way over the top, but I wasn't gonna fight it, so I went with it and the sperience was terrifying, but also great and crossing the border made me really want to keep going. There is something new our relationship with people that I always wanted to have in those parts of myself. I was one to express, and this is a chance that I got to do it and Once I had gone out once for halloween, I wasn't going to go back and finally got me to be somebody who just wears I want to wear and goes where I wanna go. It's not that simple. I spent so many years in hiding you get used to it. There's a bridge

Springsteen lion, you end up like a dog, that's been beat too much and that's kind of how I felt and it's particularly in the last three or four years, I've. Finally gotten to the point where I don't feel like I'm hiding any mortal feel like. I need to hide, and I feel like the problem is with them not with me, and I can't communicate how liberating that is I to finally get to the point where I don't feel like I'm. The problem. I don't have the words to describe that. It's I I I remember when I was a kid and I was raised roman catholic and I went to confession for the first time it feels like that I just gave all my sins up and I was forgiven for them. It's that kind of feeling. That was michael walls. Photos of michael's, many halloween costumes, including one He calls Ben franklin

stein. Yes, you heard that right. Head to our website the moth dot org astrology Teaches us a lot about our relationship to the planet, to the moon and too the things around. Does that mean Firstly, what I think it teaches us that we are made up of: star dust millions of acts of love so from all I was here at the wharf. behind the wheel and have a bless itself. Dame wilburn is a long time host and storyteller at them off she's. Also, the host of the podcast dames eclectic brain. podcast production by Julia purcell, the mob podcast, his breast, did by pierre wrecks the public radio exchange helping me. radio, more public at pr x, dot, org.