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The Moth Radio Hour: Confidence - Too Much, Too Little?

2022-08-16 | 🔗

In this hour, stories about puffing yourself up. This episode is hosted by Catherine Burns. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by The Moth and Jay Allison of Atlantic Public Media.

Hosted by: Catherine Burns


Aleeza Kazmi

Dante Jackson

David Crabb

Sam Shepard

Sarah Lee Nakintu

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Courageous storytelling can be a vital source of inspiration, joy and connection at the moth. We believe, Everyone has a story to share and we all benefit from hearing the true personal stories of others during the past twenty five. Here's generous friends like you, have helped to keep the power of storytelling alive and accessible join our dedicated community today by becoming a moth member membership, started just seventy five dollars per year and if you become a moth member at the one hundred fifty dollar level, you can receive two complimentary tickets to our special member show at the screwball centre in n Y, see on November fifteen or two tickets to a main stage show in your hometown for more details. Text member to to that one. word to seven one: seven, seven, seven! Thank you. the
This is my radio, our from Pierre none, catherine burns today. We're going here stories about being self assured or not being over four under confidence for some people. It's just about knowing who you are, who you are. That was the case with our first story: teller, elisa chasm, we first the liza when she participated nor highschool stories, lamb programme, which leads after school workshops. Students around new york city microsoft. So much we ask her to do I it for a new york mainstays. She was a young Firstly, the show by at least ten years, all the older retailers were beside themselves with nerves and everyone notice the nineteen liza incompletely relaxed. She was by far the most confident of them all fears. Elisa has me live at them on.
So I was six years old in the first grade and I was sitting on a table of my three best friends and we were oh really similar Oliver moms bought his clothes from the children's place and we ought to play house during recess and oliver name started with the letter. A there's, a shy, amanda, Alicia and eliza and we are working on the icebreaker project of the first grade, which are sheet you miss harrington, had assigned to us and it was gonna, be self portraits so that We could hang them up on the long get to know each other's faces and names and was: week cited for this project, and I knew it was really special, because there were three drafts: working on the final draft, which is going to be coloured in, and I was super stoked for this, because over the summer my mom had bought me this coloring book. But tell me all these really great techniques for how to draw properly, and I finally mastered coloring inside of the lines, and I was so excited to show my friends my new skills. I was basically young picasso and
also knew this was a special project because we were using oil, pastels and I loved oil, pastels because they're really soft. So I would pinch off a little bit and melt it between my fingers and they expensive for my public school new york city and so each table got one box and each box got each box one of each color, so we had to be patient and wait for your color to not be used, and at this point, a card in my shirt, blue and the background green, and there is a little tree and I had drawn in all the features of my face which the book Khatami to do. First and I join my lips and my nose and I was ready to color in my face and all of my friends have used the peak oil pastel to color in their face, and since we are basically all the same girl I figured I would use peach too Finally, when it was available, I picked it up. I started drawing so slowly going around my lips and my eyes and calling in all one direction, and it was a watch. Is the oil pastel melt into the paper and my face come alive and I cleared and
out of the lines and when I looked down, it was like. I was looking into a mere this girl. I just drawn was exactly how I see myself and I feel my teacher, miss Harrington over my shoulder and miss Harrington loved it when people drew well and so is getting ready for her to praise me to say elisa. That is the most beautiful fortune. I have ever seen em and hang it above my just so. Everyone who comes and can see it and instead Monsieur Harrington says elisa, that's not your color and I'm can views by this, because I don't understand how colors can belong to people but before I can find a way to ask her. She's onto the oil passed all box and I started looking through it and she doesn't finally color that she's looking before, and so she goes to the crayon been now. School. Had this infamous cranberry had bits and pieces of wrapped up in gross crayons,
rolling around I've been forever and I never went to the crown, but none the less miss harrington is rummaging through it and she reaches in and she pulls out this little nub of brown. Crayon, that's unwrapped and gross, and she hands it to me and I'm still really confused by all of this. But I have noticed my friends are staring at me in my heart is beating really fast and I want this to be over, and so I just grab the crown- and I start colouring and my face and I'm going in all different directions, except for the fact that wax crianan pastel, don't mixed together. They don't belong on the same paper, so it doesn't matter how hard on pushing, because I can't get the crown to stick and I'm colouring outside of the lines, and when I looked down at this paper, I'm this grotesque monster that can't decide if she wants to be peach or brown, and I want to beg miss harrington. Please don't hang this up I'll. Do it all over again I'll use the colors that you want me to, but before I can find the right word she's.
It can myself portrait and put it into a pile with all of my even tone. Peach friends and it gets hung up and that man I go home and I ask my mom why I wasn't allowed to be peach and she explains it is. Thus, as you can to a six year old who she is gone through, an identity crisis and she says- no, I'm not teaching your dies and peaches and your daughter you're not peach either, but this can to me even more because my parents, are just like my peach friend's parents. These sound the same. They make the same small talk but they're, not the same and everyone seems to understand this concept of color and are not getting it, and I don't want my mom to think about I'm stupid, and so I dont ask her any further and I tried and not think about it. but I didn't know where I fit, and I was stuck in this color limbo, but I finally
graduated elementary school and moved on the sixth grade and thought I had left the whole concept of colors behind me and so on the first day of six great, I was really exist. I did. It was a brand new start and we're all trying to get to know each other by asking questions like. Where did you go to elementary school and what's your favorite book and this one kid comes up to me and he says what race are you And I ve never been blatantly asked this question before inside it. Having prepared answer- and so I thought back to me Harrington and that brown crayon so told them brown and he gets this confused look on his face, and he says what do you mean your brown brown isn't a race and I couldn't believe it. I couldn't
I believe that I had finally said I'm brown and it still wasn't enough and then this little six year old girl, deep inside of me, gets really angry and then I get really angry and then I'm screaming at him, and I said you know what, if I say, I'm brown, then that's it. I'm brown and he never spoke to me again which was fine, because I had finally found the words to stand up for myself when I finally come to terms with who I was and I want to say that was the end of it that, because I was in ok with who I was that I never had to stand up or defend my this again, but that just wasn't true, I was growing up. in posts, nine eleven new york city were being brown. Put me in this category of There is, and I had been questioned about who I was many times after that, and I had to reaffirm. over and over that I'm brown, I'm brown, I'm brown because I've
worked so hard to love the skin that I'm in a nothing. Anyone can say will take that away from me and today If you ask me to draw self porch of myself, I'm drunk infinite young woman whose proud of her afghan and pakistani heritage, who is a problem american and I would and the most beautiful whose soft oil pastel to color. In my face No one would have to tell me to pick it up and it would be my first choice. unless it has meanwhile been teacher intending anymore new york times by selling story collection. Occasional, badger, elisa graduating from stony brook university in two thousand nineteen with a degree in journalism, our next storyteller. In t jackson is also some in our high school programme, Catherine Mccarthy,
is the former manager of that programme and I asked her about Dante. She said it was our very first story slammed there, a pact, black box theatre in the basement of the school Dante never spoken in public before it was really nervous that you can hear how we gain confidence, as he told the story and fed up the energy of the audience dante live at the school for classics in the east timor, neighbourhood, neighborhood, brooklyn, well,. Like a middle school wasn't really there, every kid. Let myself have any fun I was. I was afraid that if let myself have fun I'd and are being judged- and I had only been jars so on S. Gray comes around it's coming up everybody's talking about it, hey you're, going to prompt or I'm going to promise. You know what you wear. You know he going with. Oh, I know what I'm going with.
But me, it was implant on the I didn't really want to go. I thought I'd just skip it. I thought I just end up being a king in a corner. chicken and earn. Stan and so on. after being constantly bug by friends and family? I decided you know what the might as well go as is, is going to be about song, graduation am problem, was on the same day. Graduation was our young in a day, we signed some indian, I hated it song I go home, I get dressed tom. I saw how my little for dawn now stun saw I'm going to my friend John entails as a block away from my house, not far
he lives. Next, to this daycare I used to go to his family have already died ends there. I've known him since birth, to like my second family world, outside chilling mama secular but gillian pictures. You know how to get around this kind of time and on so, nor typically well, I should say first that shannon shannon comes outside and ugly, she's a tom, she's dead, did you just see shirt genes sneakers? That's it When she comes hours you gotta hear now, it's got a little right dress on got the real huge who arranged. So I'm staying almost Well now, so we we gonna
drug is about a fitting in twenty minutes, dr not very long dead there. My first dan also a dota job on my hey. So adonis on the spaces. A little bit smaller than I thought it would be granted is not a lot of us, but it was pretty fancy looking. I thought it was a good place to be music starts. Playing, I rise on a therefore I'm in a corner. Stamina,. Chicken in man. I feel people come up to me and draw me pull me on the dance floor, but I wasn't moving. I was not moving. I was a mover for anything but chicken, so. the due date, desires or put on his song and now he's a you know. I hereby has not nazism gotta problem Grab and pull them on the dance floor, everybody you see, anybody's, don't want to laugh, you've got to grab them, bring them onto the floor.
So immediately. Twenty has come at me. and try to drag me on the dance floor, and at this point I am just done fighting near you. No one he's gonna gone. I therefore gotta have a good time. Einstein. New awkwardly anymore, therefore urges logging around so I try not to make myself look suspicious start doing a little. I still doing to establish tuesday this is. Where was that so. Gradually over time, I start getting more into the the blue, to us after that, a little further to shovel towards the door curse cause,
occurs. Calls for! God knows what are you know what I was doing any more: I just know that I'm on fire and I'm buzzing moves are not at all as possible. And I wasn't aware of this until I took the time to look around and I'm stuck in that little circle, they make otherwise. I thought so. it turns out? That was one of the best nights of my life like my life up until that point, I was locked. a dog room, but dad a locked, the door, and I took a stubborn and our hoddan
and the Dante jackson is now a twenty five year old, aspiring writer and plans to go to school, to work in the automotive industry to see a video of Dante busting, a move while telling this story go to the dot, org both Dante and our first rate heller elisa- have stayed involved them off long after the graduated high school theyve each other stories to hundreds of middle and high schoolers around new york city, hopefully inspiring confidence in a whole new generation of storytellers coming up a man's under confidence. It's I'm in trouble during a visit to the russian spa and later, Young sam shepherds, overconfidence, creates havoc on film set when them off
many of our continues. the mouth radio hours produced by atlantic public media woods whole massachusetts and presented by p r exe. Attention. Shoppers we now have taste in the bread, I'll Dave's killer, bread, that's right in organic bread, that's no! hunger as sedative for your taste, buds, staves killer. Bread is on a mission to make the most of the loaf to rid the world. The gmo high fructose corn syrup and artificial ingredients and plant the seed of good in all that they bake, killer, taste killer You're, always organic dave's killer, bread, bread amplified.
this. Is the moth radio our from Pierre acts? I'm catherine burns in this show were hearing about confidence, and our next story is about what can happen when you're under confidence or storytellers, if a crab- and he told the story well hosting the moscow view show at the city opera house. We were there launching them off in australia and whenever other storytellers dry doubt last minute we were literally on the other side of the world, will renew almost no one, so he panic, we said, David you're already hosting. Is there any chance? You have a story you could tell, and he did. Here's david at the first, The role of dangerous ideas in sydney. So I'm gonna tell you a story that is if we get warmed up for two more storytellers. and when I think of the razors edge and other things that it makes me think of is tat, is just in general, just tension and how many do guys like massages, do I got ruined on massages and it was
I partner and eyes like to your anniversary, and he said why don't we go get massages and will to spend the day and the spot. So we went to the I shouldn't bass in the east village of new york, where everyone knows it's a it's a spot on a budget, it's fine and we we walked in and the thing that greets you when you walk into the russian bass is a very. Angry old russian woman. She looks like she's made of pudding and moles. She grew It's you behind a sort of of steam steam filled deli counter just violently shoving carrots into a juicer. Just wow like welcome to relaxation just leave us out like she'd, just like. Oh god, get me out of here. So we ran past her and down the stairs and we signed in and we went, we changed into our shorts and we weren't downstairs for five minutes before we were approached by this giant russian man with these tired grey eyes, eyes that have seen things.
He came up to us in this big oversized white, robin you to clipboard and he's like you too, want special service and we were like yeah. We know it's terrifying. We just agreed and he started rambling off all the special services, but in russian Infusing and finally, we were like massage, we just want massage and he was like massage. I will come get you when he said it like a threat with a pen. You know you're going to get robbed, you know so, we go about in enjoy enjoying the spot and we go to. We go to this one steam room and in new york, I feel, like everyone has made a contract with each other. Act like things in new york are normal when they are not, and I remember my partner and I once ate like a dick, anniversary meal as clearly somewhere near us, a rat was screaming and glue trap and we're just like it's just a rusty hinge on something. I love you and
when we are in this, like spar room you go in and you expect some sort of ducks system with steam coming through. But when you go and it's just this concrete room, it looks like a place. You would wake up and one of those saw movies and there is a crack in the concrete. It looks like armageddon in like a parking garage wall and steam is just like hissing out of it. You dont know where it's from its sewage who can say, but fabulous we're in this room with these two other girls when the big russia man comes in and he has a big plastic bucket. You know one of those buckets it's so big. It has like a drawing up a baby, and there like beware of your child's around this bucket. It's a huge asked bucket and its full of what looks like shards of glass, and he has a giant sort of dead feather from some kind of animal, and he comes in these like jennifer and very sheepishly. A woman curled up in the corner with a friend is like me. Jennifer is direct
It's a stand against the wall at guantanamo bay, like she literally like in this giant russian man proceeds to did this we're dead feather in what is Rock salt and lasher rash lash, because its russian and it feels good and always never want when it's happening, and she turns she looks at different issues like stacy, so So, a little bit later, the giant man he comes to us and he's logic and david unwilling, ok, so follow him only follow up these stairs and we get to this long hallway and it's a hallway that doesn't have real walls to make the rooms those little sort of shades that new women change behind an old movies at folds out. So you can hear.
The stereos playing an older massage rooms at the same time and its erika cabinets like there's a thrill, singing and whale songs and harbours the most awful sound ever and is working on it. It almost seems to get like longer, like I feel like have you guys seen poltergeist like when the mom runs down the hallway and it just gets so long. I felt like that because I was so, but what was coming, we finally get to the the whole way and the big russian and he looks at my partner and he's like jack. You come with me. David you'll go with Ivan and I turn around, and there is Ivan islands. Little bit taller than me. He is covered and muscles that I didn't know men could have. He is in a way too short white robe undone way too low with like Medallion resting and, like the perfect amount of trust, hair giant packs and is like David.
my name is Ivan. Come with me, and I'm like by jack, happy anniversary by the jack loves when I tell this story So I go in this room with island and it's very dim, there's candles lit and there's you know the big sort of patent massage table with like that. Don't not, and he tells me to get on my stomach and I put my face through the through the donor. And then he says I just have one question. Forty david, as far as your messiahs, do you want soft or do you want hard and, unlike some After just give me this off one please, I dont need just soft sweetest, swedish swedish and then the light. It even dimmer on the floor that I'm looking to looking at the fourth through the hole, and then I hear a click and in the corner of the room, begins
although it is no didn't marry Ivan begins to touch me and he's like any is pushing and it's nice, but it does feel a little hard. You know it feels more like us. massage unless, like a swedish massage, but I'm like I'm like dealing with it and after about five minutes just like get used to it, the song fades down, and then the next shoddy saw. I guess it was the greatest its smooth up costs too. costs due to ship by the way, shouted isn't really understand geography. I mean A lot more passion cargo! That's all I'm saying the cost to like visit america will help you shouting I only hear about thirty seconds of this song because then all of a sudden there is no hands on me and then I hear click click, this
is no, I'm like. Okay. He likes that song. He wants to hear that one again, no problem. He doesn't like smooth operator for some reason, but he loves no ordinary love rubbing pressing a little hard, but it feels good song fades down, smooth click click hands back on me surely we can hear the song more than a third time song fades smooth up, hands off click click, and it goes on like this to the point I know exactly five more minutes of my massage, like I can't even get lost in the time you're going to meet them like no ordinary What was telling me I'm twenty five minutes into my our alongside and if I do math directly on hearing the song seven more times. Over and over again, smooth albert click
Still closed, endless over and over again. And then finally, when I'm on, like the tenth or eleventh play, the massage is sort of building and intensity and all of a sudden. I feel this force on my body that I've never felt, and I hear my spangled click click click and I'm, like I dunno my body- could do those things and I take my face- animal don't and I look up an island in the soft massage is walking on my body with his hands on the ceiling and our eyes And he's like don't look at me and I'm like so sorry. Sorry, the end, I'm like my god. This is the sweetest. What is this? Sport you'd get punished in the phrase repeatedly them beating heart now like what happens and that one and is it so to shoddy. I the Finally, the massage ends the lights come up and I get up and I feel just like a like a busted noodle. I feel in
spain, and when I look around the room, it's like two hundred flamed photos and it's mostly Ivan with the actress time daily. You know who that is cagney and lazy, and it's her through. very era of her career, like twenty five years of time daily and the weird thing is in a very sort of dorian gray way. Island looks the same age and all of them very bizarre, and he just very proudly, as I'm like trying to make my body work again, just as he says time, number one clients and I'm like bye by going I run from the room I come up. I see my partner jack above me like hobbling. Any looks at me with an urgency dislike. Let's get out of here. Things are going to get worse if we don't leave and we just russia. There are only rest by the woman. Thank you of our time like no thank you that was many years ago, are twelve year anniversary is coming up in february
We are getting married in november, we're going to do something very special for ourselves and it will not include the russian baths. What might include shoddy? That was David gave it to the author of the memoir. That he's also a teacher who has served as an instructor in our high school program. He actually helped elisa stream of crayons. We heard earlier in this hour, David Second memoir comes out later this year, not long after it the story he entrapper married other they ve never return to the russians as shadow He still holds a very special place in our hearts. Personally,
here, smooth operator without picturing david space in and massage table do new to our next rate it is too late actor and pulitzer prize winning playwright sam shepherd. He told us sorry, the night we produce with a world science festival way back in two thousand. This, however, is all about confidence, and this The story about what can happen when you're a bit overconfident. It feels fitting that the theme the night was oil, trouble stories experiments gone wrong here. Sam. chapter five. I'm not a scientist, I'm not a mathematician
If, as a I'm, very flattered beer with this distinguished people, I wish I had some of the convention they have thought, maybe some of it might rub off on me. also wouldn't make it clear that writing and oral storytelling, you're not synonymous In fact, they have little to do with each other. Back in the early eighties. I I film which some of you may have seen called the right stuff. in nice, in the mahars desert in california, and when I got this gripped. In fact, one of the main reasons I did it was that there was this great.
Chasing the beginning on horseback, galloping. and that the character I was playing was chasing his wife horseback across the desert. You know figure ratings visit, the cactus and stuff, and I thought well, it's great I'll do that and at the time I was still trying to make an honest living. I was a. I had a couple of rope horses and I was team roping and doing jackpots and stuff like that and I thought well I'll use one of my horses which I got along with very well, I had it. Around gelding called rony, and I think it is a nice horse you doing get along with them, so the director long story short and
Could I use my own horse in this sequence and he said sure bring em. not being a horseman himself. So first is shooting a show up on the set out. Mojave with It's horse trailer and my horse and my truck, and I'm not met by the direct remit. the head wrangler and the stunt man. Two legendary guys, still guys called chichi chambers to step out track, corky steps immediately understand. There's little attitude thing. You I understand you wanna use your own horse, The Is it ok here which will allow The horse- and I get along the problem with- is it easy read, grown horse this investment?
well. We know everything the double you know the words they don't have a horse. like the source of the wind stunt comes there the stout man on the horse looks like my horse in the I'll, be all right as well. Cute as still like to use this horse. Could really you write, insisted like immediate and. so teachers is well deserved If I get up under worse and see what he's like, as it should she gets up and goes up and he does figure. Eights and circles backs him up a little bit and stops even the horses. Fine, it's great. It gets off. Mrs it's okay, but I just want to you know we have a serious stuff to do in this and they are the insurance companies not going to. Let you do it because, first of all, you can't do it. The trees, which is true and anyway,
he said: okay, well, we'll we'll we'll see if we can get along with your horse and we'll do it as okay, so the issue. We do, the galloping sequence, which is beautiful. You really works great we're everybody loves, the dailies defrauded. You know it looks good chasing my wife's through the desert self picturesque and comes time for the stone so. this is a pretty fallacious stern involves mike character. I mean in the film you don't notice that it's not me, because he beyond hats and everything cheat you is chasing my wife any he had stood the sore cactus, which I don't know if you guys are familiar with in been in. Their gigantic cactus there. The biggest cactus honours you probably cinnamon,
five years and a highway is yours, looks like green men, have arms like this, so He spoke a crash into this cactus and get knocked out of it, flip side of the saddle and gets his leg The stirrup. which is all part of the state and then draw about twenty five yards disturb breaks away in his fine he's safe in her they, but stunt looks horrendous and the way they do it is, they cut the arm of the characters. and a shave up all the spines moving, so that, Mr Mann doesn't get him in his face and they put a boss to a doll in the autumn,
I saw it about a quarter of the way through these ticket, but this is a scientific part here work alors stuff menace the arm back onto the body of the cactus, the main body, the cactuses, to the untrained. I you can't tell that it's not real cactus sooner, when it hits the arm of his characters. It snapshot because the dolls in their breaks free, and it looks as though is actually hit. The catches word. Practice is another, and in that as is still needs our way. We should do gets upon rony.
and he lopes out there do the stuff, I'm really kind of anxious about it and it breaks him out into a wide open. Gallup is headed straight toward the sore a cactus and, as he's approaching the last few yards to accomplish this stunt, the horse looks down and sees it black electric cable about the diameters about like that which runs from the generators backed the lights, and he knows the debts not supposed to be in the desert in he thinks. Maybe it's a snake. I don't know what he thinks. but all Rony leaves the ground in mid like all four legs, come away from this cable and consequently smashes directly into the
Of the characters missing the arm completely cheese, flip side saddle. but rather than breaking loose from the stirrups dragged. Maybe a hundred fifty yards, through really rough terrain. I've course clearly aghast at this. I'm watching it live and everything he goes to the hospital he he lost half a year he had true to this day areas happier and but these guys are worthy of blood and gets stuntman illnesses. The reason there call them he broke three ribs collarbone. dislocated hip,
had serious lacerations and completely. I can't believe it I go visited him in the hospital and this part of us than men's bread and butter. You norman you, spend a lot of time. the Anyway, I go in and all his old and deputies lay in and limbs. This way, no everything. I apologize deeply for the horses behaviour, Eddie said you know being a good guy, he is he says these things happen. You know sam, he says, but you know I'll tell you what that might be. A nice team roping horse
very key dodge a cactus for shit, so Now is virtually the last time I tried, is my own livestock. And whose lesson learned you know, but it's pretty much the early accident I have one in the scientific area. The shepard was an actor who starred in the film days of Heaven and the right stuff and the tv series bloodline. He was one of the most influential writers of his generation. He wrote more than who plays including true ass for love and the pulitzer prize winning bury child
He died in two thousand. Seventeen at the age of seventy one coming up, a young woman in kenya think she's having for boarding school until she realizes her father has something else in mind. That's now and the motto: radio, our The moth radio hour is produced by atlantic public media in woods, hole massachusetts and presented by the public radio exchange pr x, dot, org. This is the moth radio, our from pierre acts and catherine burns. Our finest it is from Sarah leaned can do we met Sarah. We and one of the moths global community workshops on women and girls that we held in kenya after the workshop severally. developed her story for a night we produce for the seventy first, you in general assembly you're severally live at leaving centre.
When I was young, I grew up in a polygamous funny. My father had to waves and they won t be call home keepers. My mother, was very submissive. I dont remember seeing her in any disagreement with my father even worse, she had a different opinion should just giving. In my mother was very hardworking. She used to go to the guidance every morning and would come back in the evening. That was her daily routine. I loved her, but I never wanted to be like her I don't want to be a good. I looked up some different, my aunt
He, who is the sister to my father, was a businesswoman she used to go to attend to our businesses every day and she had a daily income. She always had a crush on her. I admired her. I wanted, would be like her as a young girl. I remember, was so bright. I used come in the first position. for all the seven years of my junior school, I loved school. I loved studying- I always dreamt of that day out graduate from university, but it seemed so far away each one saturday, just like the other usual saturdays. We used to go for farming, but this, but
a saturday. My father asked me to stay home in. Do some house cause it think that excited me? I hinted farming. standing under the sun already got any was not my thing. So You belated it was a blessing in disguise later in the day, the rest of the members. Came back from the guidelines in my father called me. He told me to go, prepare myself Because my unto his coming with visitors and by the mission of my auntie coming visitors. I was excited because this particular auntie had promised to take me to a boarding school. So I knew this was my time. This was my day. I went and started preparing myself, but why le tits? Deep down me
I could cite because I was going to leave my mother. I did not want to leave her, but again Something goes told me you have to do this. Sarah, if you deliberate, your mother, from the guidance you have to go in study had and suddenly always reengaged. Yes, I was excited again and started my preparations. While in the bedroom preparing and packing my clothes, I had done knock at the door and it was my mother. as she walked through the door. I not suddenness in our eyes. Not suddenness on her face and they asked her mom, Way, sad, I you know
tat before me. Don't you want me to go to a boarding school? I am not going forever I'll come back and shook when you But in a very sad tone she told me my daughter, you're not going for school, you are going forever you're going to start your own family and you're going for marriage. I asked her mom. Why were to who and who planned these? I asked her a lot questions, but she never answered any. We all broke down in tears and she walked away as I was trying to wake up
my soul from these very bad dream, I had another knock and it was my auntie. She walked in so excited in told me to hurry up, go greta visitors because they had come. I looked at her in disbelief in I asked her anti. Is this the boarding school that you promised me? Are you throwing away my age? creation, push told me no. This is even better than a boarding school. This is the best option for you. Things are going to be fine, but I do not believe I knew the a businesswoman, she look. Tell me more as a commodity than a daughter.
She was more concerned with the don't worry, with a bright price that you are going to pay in exchange for my hand in marriage. I felt so betrayed, but, worst of all by the person that I looked up to buy the person that they admired. I felt disappointed that at fourteen years she wanted to marry me off. I couldn't believe her. I put myself together in the wind to the sitting room. I greeted the visitors. My father asked me. Sarah, are you ready to go with this man? Now I kept thinking to myself. Is my father serious here. already invited the visitors. The monies already here,
and is asking me with. I am ready to die of a choice. Why didn t ask me before, as I kept through these. All this was running through my mind. I heard a voice from the side of the coin of the house And it was seen: no, my data is not going for marriage until she finches school. When I looked it was my mother, my father, but tat her in saint woman, Who are you to talk back at me? Don't you know your position in this family? I said she has to go, but my mother answered in a very strong voice and said no she's not going anywhere. Our culture is so funny.
Women are supposed to be submissive to the men. There is even a saying that when a month say something a woman should not object and a should not talk back a month, but here we are My mother, who I always knew, knew to be very. submissive had final gathered string to talk bucket. My dutch surprised me- I didn't expect these from her at this point in time. It was a whole lot of chaos. These does work tat. We and our dead told my mother. If she's not ready to, let me go for Mary. We have to pack our bugs and leave the house leave the home. It was clear now We had to leave this home because my mother was not about to give up. We ve got our butts
and ready to leave as new our stepping out of the house. I got so scared. I do not know what was coming next. Yes, I do not want to go for marriage, but again I was not sure Going my mother was the best option. I was not sure going with her out continued. My education because should not have any source of income. We moved into a future that was not clear at all, but we kept going. We lifts and stayed at a friend into my mom And when, finally, my mom got that somebody told money we moved to orient house, and we started life- a single mother.
Life was not easy at all. It was hard it with a challenging life. My mother used to was used to life, which was being provided for here we only, she was the only provider of the home. She worked so hard did different kinds of pity businesses, to look for money she sold somewhere, says she sought clauses in what tat school as office missing trying to raise money to look after us to take me to school, and these continued. After a year, one day, my mother called me instead, wouldn't be SARA. I have gathered money. I want to take you bucks.
And a boarding school. I got so excited she did deeds. I doubted her, but she had met. It She brought my dreams, bucker life. I good so proud of my mother up faster thought old library, but guess what shape Everybody did me she give up what other women in our culture wanted. She gave up her marriage in fight for my education my mother, my here, keep the that was Sarah Lena continue. Sarah, as a gender advocate works on rights in education for women and girls. We spent this, our hearing stories about confidence? of how, by finding her confidence, terrorism
change the trajectory of her life and about her mother. Sarah says she's, now college teacher, as well as a laboratory technician. In fact, our district using only female laboratory technician. I am so oh proud of her. That's it for this episode. We hope you'll join us next time for the moth radio, our use, our wisdom or artistic direct. Your catherine burns who also directed the stories along with Sarah Austin, Jane S, Mikhail, apply and catherine mccarthy, additional coaching in the moth community and education programmes by dawn, frazier David crab, Melissa, brown. There
So the maastricht oral staff include Sarah haber, mention four hickson and make balls production support from timothy lulli special thanks to the world science festival David story was produced in partnership with the festival of dangerous ideas. The moss would like to thank the bill and Melinda gates foundation for their support of the moss community programme. More stories are true is remembered. No firm by the story. Tellers are the music is buys a drift other music in this hour from Regina Carter, boom box shoddy and sell wagon symphony. The maltese produce radio by me, J alison with Vicki Merrick at a lantern public media and woods. Whole massachusetts is our was produced with funds from the national and down to the arts them already hours presented by the rex, for more about our pie, cast for information on picking your own story and everything else go to our website, dumb off dot, org.
Transcript generated on 2022-10-25.