In this hour, stories about puffing yourself up. This episode is hosted by Catherine Burns. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by The Moth and Jay Allison of Atlantic Public Media.
Hosted by: Catherine Burns
Storytellers:
Aleeza Kazmi
Dante Jackson
David Crabb
Sam Shepard
Sarah Lee Nakintu
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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word to seven one: seven, seven, seven! Thank you.
the
This is my radio, our from Pierre none, catherine burns today. We're going here
stories about being self assured or not being over four under confidence for some people.
It's just about knowing who you are, who you are. That was the case with our first story: teller, elisa chasm, we first
the liza when she participated nor highschool stories, lamb programme, which leads after school workshops.
Students around new york city
microsoft. So much we ask her to do
I it for a new york mainstays. She was a young
Firstly, the show by at least ten years, all the older
retailers were beside themselves with nerves and everyone notice the nineteen
liza incompletely relaxed. She was by far the most confident of them all fears. Elisa has me live at them on.
So I was six years old in the first grade and I was sitting on a table of my three best friends and we were
oh really similar
Oliver moms bought his clothes from the children's place and we ought to play house during recess and oliver name started with the letter. A there's, a shy, amanda, Alicia and eliza
and we are working on the icebreaker project of the first grade, which are sheet you miss harrington, had assigned to us and it was gonna, be self portraits so that
We could hang them up on the long get to know each other's faces and names and was:
week cited for this project, and I knew it was really special, because there were three drafts:
working on the final draft, which is going to be coloured in, and I was
super stoked for this, because over the summer my mom had bought me this coloring book.
But tell me all these really great techniques for how to draw properly, and I finally mastered coloring inside of the lines, and I was so excited to show my friends my new skills. I was basically young picasso and
also knew this was a special project because we were using oil, pastels and I loved oil, pastels because they're really soft. So I would pinch off a little bit and melt it between my fingers and they
expensive for my public school new york city and so each table got one box and each box got each box
one of each color, so we had to be patient and wait for your color to not be used, and at this point,
a card in my shirt, blue and the background green, and there is a little tree and I had drawn in all the features of my face which the book Khatami to do. First and I join my lips and my nose and I was ready to color in my face
and all of my friends have used the peak oil pastel to color in their face, and since we are basically all the same girl I figured I would use peach too
Finally, when it was available, I picked it up. I started drawing so slowly going around my lips and my eyes and calling in all one direction, and it was a watch.
Is the oil pastel melt into the paper and my face come alive and I cleared and
out of the lines and when I looked down,
it was like. I was looking into a mere this girl. I just drawn was exactly how I see myself and I feel
my teacher, miss Harrington over my shoulder and miss Harrington loved it when people drew well and so is getting ready for her to praise me to say elisa. That is the most beautiful
fortune. I have ever seen em and hang it above my just so. Everyone who comes and can see it
and instead
Monsieur Harrington says elisa, that's not your color and I'm can
views by this, because I don't understand how colors can belong to people but before I can find a way to ask her. She's
onto the oil passed all box and I started looking through it and she doesn't finally color that she's looking
before, and so she goes to the crayon been now.
School. Had this infamous cranberry had bits and pieces of wrapped up in gross crayons,
rolling around I've been forever and I never went to the crown, but none the less miss harrington is rummaging through it and she
reaches in and she pulls out this little nub of brown. Crayon, that's unwrapped and gross, and she hands it to me
and I'm still really confused by all of this. But I have noticed my friends are staring at me in my heart is beating really fast and I want this to be over, and so I just grab the crown- and I start colouring and my face and I'm going in all different directions, except for the fact that wax crianan pastel, don't
mixed together. They don't belong on the same paper, so it doesn't matter how hard on pushing, because I can't get the crown to stick
and I'm colouring outside of the lines, and when I looked down at this paper, I'm this grotesque monster that can't decide if she wants to be peach
or brown, and I want to beg miss harrington. Please don't hang this up I'll. Do it all over again I'll use the colors that you want me to, but before I can find the right word she's.
It can myself portrait and put it into a pile with all of my even tone. Peach friends and it gets hung up and
that man I go home and I ask my mom why I wasn't allowed to be peach and she explains it is.
Thus, as you can to a six year old who she is gone through, an identity crisis and she says-
no, I'm not teaching your dies and peaches and your daughter you're not peach either, but this can
to me even more because my parents,
are just like my peach friend's parents. These sound the same. They make the same small talk but they're, not the same
and everyone seems to understand this concept of color and are not getting it, and I don't want my mom to think about I'm stupid, and so I dont ask her any further and I tried and not think about it.
but I didn't know where I fit, and I was stuck in this color limbo, but I finally
graduated elementary school and moved on the sixth grade and thought I had left the whole concept of colors behind me and so on the first day of six great, I was really exist.
I did. It was a brand new start and we're all trying to get to know each other by asking questions like. Where did you go to elementary school and what's your favorite book and this one kid comes up to me and he says what race are you
And I ve never been blatantly asked this question before inside it.
Having prepared answer- and so I thought back to me
Harrington and that brown crayon so told them brown and he gets this confused
look on his face, and he says what do you mean
your brown brown isn't a race and I couldn't believe it. I couldn't
I believe that I had finally said I'm brown and it still wasn't enough and then this little six year old girl, deep inside of me, gets really angry and then I get really angry and then I'm screaming at him, and I said you know what, if I say, I'm brown, then that's it. I'm brown and he never spoke to me again
which was fine, because I had finally found the words to stand up for myself when I finally come to terms with who I was
and I want to say that was the end of it that, because I was in ok with who I was that I never had to stand up or defend my
this again, but that just wasn't true, I was growing up.
in posts, nine eleven new york city were being brown. Put me in this category of
There is, and I had been questioned about who I was many times after that, and I had to reaffirm.
over and over that I'm brown, I'm brown, I'm brown because I've
worked so hard to love the skin that I'm in a nothing. Anyone can say will take that away from me and today
If you ask me to draw self porch of myself, I'm drunk
infinite young woman whose proud of her afghan and pakistani heritage, who is a problem
american and I would
and the most beautiful
whose soft oil pastel to color. In my face
No one would have to tell me to pick it up and it would be my first choice.
unless it has meanwhile been teacher intending anymore
new york times by selling story collection. Occasional,
badger, elisa graduating from stony brook university in two thousand nineteen with a degree in journalism, our next storyteller.
In t jackson is also some in our high school programme, Catherine Mccarthy,
is the former manager of that programme and I asked her about Dante. She said it was our very first story slammed there, a pact, black box theatre in the basement of the school Dante
never spoken in public before it was really nervous that you can hear how we gain confidence, as he told the story and fed up the energy of the audience
dante live at the school for classics in the east timor, neighbourhood, neighborhood, brooklyn, well,.
Like a middle school wasn't really there,
every kid. Let myself have any fun I was. I was afraid that if
let myself have fun
I'd and are being judged- and I had only been jars so on
S. Gray comes around
it's coming up everybody's talking about it, hey you're, going to prompt or I'm going to promise. You know what you wear. You know he going with. Oh, I know what I'm going with.
But me,
it was implant on the I didn't really want to go. I thought I'd just skip it. I thought I just end up
being a king in a corner.
chicken and earn.
Stan and so on.
after being constantly bug by friends and family? I decided you know what the might as well go
as is, is going to be about song,
graduation am problem, was on the same day. Graduation was our young in a day,
we signed some indian, I hated it song
I go home, I get dressed
tom. I saw how my little for dawn now stun saw
I'm going to my friend John entails as a block away from my house, not far
he lives. Next, to this daycare I used to go to his family have already died ends there. I've known him since birth, to like my second family world,
outside chilling mama
secular but gillian pictures. You know how to get around this kind of time and on so, nor typically well,
I should say first that shannon shannon comes outside and
ugly, she's a tom,
she's dead,
did you just see shirt genes sneakers? That's it
When she comes hours you gotta hear now, it's got a little right dress on got the real huge who arranged. So
I'm staying almost
Well now, so we we gonna
drug is about a fitting in twenty minutes, dr not very long dead there.
My first dan also a dota job on my hey.
So adonis on the spaces. A little bit smaller than I thought it would be granted is not a lot of us, but it was pretty fancy looking. I thought it was a good place to be music starts. Playing,
I rise on a therefore I'm in a corner. Stamina,.
Chicken in man.
I feel people come up to me and draw me pull me on the dance floor, but I wasn't moving. I was not moving. I was a mover for anything but chicken, so.
the due date, desires or put on his song and now he's a you know.
I hereby has not nazism gotta problem
Grab and pull them on the dance floor, everybody you see, anybody's, don't want to laugh, you've got to grab them, bring them onto the floor.
So immediately. Twenty has come at me.
and try to drag me on the dance floor, and at this point I am just done fighting near you. No one
he's gonna gone. I therefore gotta have a good time. Einstein.
New awkwardly anymore, therefore urges logging around so
I try not to make myself look suspicious start doing a little.
I still doing
to establish tuesday
this is. Where was that so.
Gradually over time, I start getting more into the the blue,
to us after that, a little further
to shovel towards the door
curse cause,
occurs. Calls for! God knows what are you know what I was doing any more:
I just know that I'm on fire
and
I'm buzzing moves are not at all as possible.
And I wasn't aware of this until I took the time to look around and I'm stuck in that little circle, they make
otherwise. I thought so.
it turns out? That was one of the best nights of my life
like my life up until that point, I was locked.
a dog room, but dad
a locked, the door, and I took a stubborn and our hoddan
and the Dante jackson is now a twenty five year old, aspiring writer and plans to go to school, to work in the automotive industry to see a video of Dante busting, a move while telling this story go to the
dot, org both Dante and our first rate heller elisa- have stayed involved them off long after the graduated high school theyve each other stories to hundreds of middle and high schoolers around new york city, hopefully inspiring confidence in a whole new generation of storytellers coming up a man's under confidence. It's I'm in trouble during a visit to the russian spa and later,
Young sam shepherds, overconfidence, creates havoc on film set when them off
many of our continues.
the mouth radio hours produced by atlantic public media woods whole massachusetts and presented by p r exe.
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this. Is the moth radio our from Pierre acts? I'm catherine burns in this show were hearing about confidence, and our next story is about what can happen when you're under confidence or storytellers,
if a crab- and he told the story well hosting the moscow view show at the city opera house. We were there
launching them off in australia and whenever other storytellers dry
doubt last minute
we were literally on the other side of the world, will renew almost no one, so he panic, we said,
David you're already hosting. Is there any chance? You have a story you could tell, and he did. Here's david at the first,
The role of dangerous ideas in sydney.
So I'm gonna tell you a story that is if we get warmed up for two more storytellers.
and when I think of the razors edge and other things that it makes me think of is tat, is just in general, just tension
and how many do guys like massages, do I got ruined on massages and it was
I partner and eyes like to your anniversary, and he said why don't we go get massages and will to spend the day and the spot. So we went to the
I shouldn't bass in the east village of new york, where everyone knows it's a it's a spot on a budget, it's fine and we we walked in and the thing that greets you when you walk into the russian bass is a very.
Angry old russian woman. She looks like she's made of pudding and moles. She grew
It's you behind a sort of of steam steam filled deli counter just violently shoving carrots into a juicer. Just wow like welcome to relaxation just leave us out like she'd, just like. Oh god, get me out of here. So we ran past her and down the stairs and we signed in and we went, we changed into our shorts and we weren't downstairs for five minutes before we were approached by this giant russian man with these tired grey eyes, eyes that have seen things.
He came up to us in this big oversized white, robin you to clipboard and he's like you too, want special service and we were like yeah. We know it's terrifying. We just agreed and he started rambling off all the special services, but in russian
Infusing and finally, we were like massage, we just want massage and he was like massage. I will come get you when he said it like a threat with a pen. You know you're going to get robbed, you know
so, we go about in enjoy enjoying the spot and we go to. We go to this
one steam room and in new york, I feel, like everyone has made a contract with each other. Act like things in new york are normal when they are not, and I remember my partner and I once ate like a dick,
anniversary meal as clearly somewhere near us, a rat was screaming and glue trap and we're just like it's just a rusty hinge on something. I love you and
when we are in this, like spar room you go in and you expect some sort of ducks system with steam coming through. But when you go and it's just this concrete room, it looks like a place. You would wake up and one of those saw movies and there is a crack in the concrete. It looks like armageddon in like a parking garage wall and
steam is just like hissing out of it. You dont know where it's from its sewage
who can say, but fabulous
we're in this room with these two other girls when the big russia man comes in and he has a big plastic bucket. You know one of those buckets it's so big. It has like a drawing up a baby, and there like beware of your child's around this bucket. It's a huge asked bucket and its full of what looks like shards of glass, and he has a giant sort of dead feather
from some kind of animal, and he comes in these like jennifer and very sheepishly. A woman curled up in the corner with a friend is like
me. Jennifer is direct
It's a stand against the wall at guantanamo bay, like she literally like in this giant russian man proceeds to did this we're dead feather in what is
Rock salt and lasher rash lash,
because its russian and it feels good and always never want when it's happening, and she turns
she looks at different issues like stacy, so
So, a little bit later, the giant man he comes to us and he's logic and david unwilling, ok, so
follow him only follow up these stairs and we get to this long hallway and it's a hallway that doesn't have real walls to make the rooms
those little sort of shades that new women change behind an old movies at folds out. So you can hear.
The stereos playing an older massage rooms at the same time and its erika cabinets like there's a thrill,
singing and whale songs and harbours the most awful sound ever and is working on it.
It almost seems to get like longer, like I feel like have you guys seen poltergeist like when the mom runs down the hallway and it just gets so long. I felt like that because I was so,
but what was coming, we finally get to the
the whole way and the big russian and he looks at my partner and he's like jack. You come with me. David you'll go with Ivan
and I turn around, and there is Ivan islands.
Little bit taller than me. He is covered and muscles that I didn't know men could have. He is in a
way too short white robe undone way too low with like
Medallion resting and, like the perfect amount of trust, hair giant packs and is like David.
my name is Ivan. Come with me, and I'm like by jack, happy anniversary by the jack loves when I tell this story
So I go in this room with island and it's very dim, there's candles lit and there's you know the big sort of patent massage table with like that. Don't not, and he tells me to get on my stomach and I put my face through the through the donor.
And then he says I just have one question. Forty david,
as far as your messiahs, do you want soft
or do you want hard and, unlike some
After just give me this off one please, I dont need just soft sweetest, swedish swedish and then
the light. It even dimmer on the floor that I'm looking to looking at the fourth through the hole, and then I hear a click and in the corner of the room, begins
although it is no didn't marry
Ivan begins to touch me and
he's like any is pushing and it's nice, but it does feel a little hard. You know it feels more like us.
massage unless, like a swedish massage, but I'm like I'm like dealing with it and after about five minutes just like get used to it, the song fades down,
and then the next shoddy saw. I guess it was the greatest its smooth up costs too.
costs due to ship by the way, shouted isn't really understand geography. I mean
A lot more passion cargo! That's all I'm saying the cost to like visit america will help you shouting
I only hear about thirty seconds of this song because then all of a sudden there is no hands on me and then I hear click click, this
is no, I'm like. Okay. He likes that song. He wants to hear that one again, no problem. He doesn't like smooth operator for some reason, but he loves no ordinary love rubbing pressing a little hard, but it feels good song fades down, smooth
click click hands back on me
surely we can hear the song more than a third time song fades
smooth up, hands off click click,
and it goes on like this to the point
I know exactly five more minutes of my massage, like I can't even get lost in the time you're going to meet them like no ordinary
What was telling me I'm twenty five minutes into my our alongside and if I do
math directly on hearing the song seven more times.
Over and over again,
smooth albert click
Still closed,
endless over and over again.
And then finally, when I'm on, like the tenth or eleventh play, the massage is sort of building and intensity and all of a sudden. I feel this force on my body that I've never felt, and I hear my spangled click click click and I'm, like I dunno my body- could do those things
and I take my face- animal don't and I look up an island in the soft massage is walking on my body with his hands on the ceiling and our eyes
And he's like don't look at me and I'm like so sorry. Sorry, the end, I'm like my god. This is the sweetest. What is this?
Sport you'd get punished in the phrase repeatedly them beating heart now like what happens and that one and is it
so to shoddy. I
the
Finally, the massage ends the lights come up and I get up and I feel just like a like a busted noodle. I feel in
spain, and when I look around the room, it's like two hundred flamed photos and it's mostly Ivan with the actress time
daily. You know who that is cagney and lazy, and it's her through.
very era of her career, like twenty five years of time daily and the weird thing
is in a very sort of dorian gray way. Island looks the same age and all of them very bizarre, and he just very proudly, as I'm like trying to make my body work again, just as he says time,
number one clients and I'm like bye by going
I run from the room I come up. I see my partner jack above me like hobbling. Any looks at me with an urgency dislike. Let's get out of here. Things are going to get worse if we don't leave and we just russia.
There are only rest by the woman. Thank you of our time like no thank you
that was many years ago, are twelve year anniversary is coming up in february
We are getting married in november,
we're going to do something very special for ourselves and it will not include
the russian baths. What might include shoddy?
That was David gave it to the author of the memoir. That he's also a teacher who has served as an instructor in our high school program. He actually helped elisa stream of crayons. We heard earlier in this hour, David
Second memoir comes out later this year, not long after it
the story he entrapper married
other they ve never return to the russians as shadow
He still holds a very special place in our hearts. Personally,
here, smooth operator without picturing david space in and massage table do new to our next rate
it is too late actor and pulitzer prize winning playwright sam shepherd. He told us
sorry, the night we produce with a world science festival way back in two thousand.
This, however, is all about confidence, and this
The story about what can happen when you're a bit overconfident. It feels fitting that the theme
the night was oil,
trouble stories
experiments gone wrong here. Sam.
chapter five.
I'm not a scientist, I'm not a mathematician
If, as a I'm, very flattered beer with this distinguished people, I wish I had some of the convention
they have thought, maybe some of it might rub off on me.
also wouldn't make it clear that
writing and oral storytelling,
you're not synonymous
In fact, they have little to do with each other.
Back in the early eighties. I I film
which some of you may have seen called the right stuff.
in nice, in the mahars desert in california, and when I got this
gripped. In fact, one of the main reasons I did it was that there was this great.
Chasing the beginning on horseback, galloping.
and that the character I was playing was chasing his wife horseback across the desert. You know figure ratings visit, the cactus and stuff, and I thought well, it's great I'll do that and at the time
I was still trying to make an honest living. I was a. I had a couple of rope horses and I was team roping and doing jackpots and stuff like that and
I thought well I'll use one of my horses which
I got along with very well, I had it.
Around gelding called rony, and
I think it is a nice horse you doing get along with them, so the director long story short and
Could I use my own horse in this sequence and he said sure bring em.
not being a horseman himself.
So first is shooting a show up on the set out. Mojave with
It's horse trailer and my horse and my truck,
and I'm not met by the direct remit.
the head wrangler and the stunt man.
Two legendary guys, still guys called chichi chambers to step out track,
corky steps immediately understand. There's little attitude thing. You
I understand you wanna use your own horse,
The
Is it ok here which will allow
The horse- and I get along the problem with- is it easy read, grown horse this investment?
well. We know everything the double you know the words they don't have a horse.
like the source of the wind stunt comes there
the stout man on the horse looks like my horse in the I'll, be all right as well.
Cute as still like to use this horse. Could really you write, insisted like immediate and.
so teachers is well deserved
If I get up under worse and see what he's like, as it should
she gets up and goes up and he does figure. Eights and circles backs him up a little bit and stops even the horses. Fine, it's great. It gets off. Mrs it's okay,
but I just want to you know we have a serious stuff to do in this and they are the insurance companies not going to. Let you do it because, first of all, you can't do it.
The trees, which is true and anyway,
he said: okay, well, we'll we'll we'll see if we can get along with your horse and we'll do it as okay, so
the issue. We do, the galloping sequence, which is beautiful. You really works great
we're everybody loves, the dailies defrauded. You know it looks good
chasing my wife's through the desert self picturesque and
comes time for the stone so.
this is a pretty fallacious stern involves mike
character. I mean in the film you don't notice that it's not me, because he beyond hats and everything cheat you
is chasing my wife any he had stood the sore cactus, which I don't know if you guys are familiar with in been in.
Their gigantic cactus there. The biggest cactus honours you probably cinnamon,
five years and a highway is yours, looks like
green men, have arms like this, so
He spoke a crash into this cactus and get knocked out of it,
flip side of the saddle and gets his leg
The stirrup.
which is all part of the state and then draw
about twenty five yards disturb breaks away in his fine he's safe in her they, but stunt looks horrendous
and the way they do it is,
they cut the arm of the characters.
and a shave up all the spines moving, so that,
Mr Mann doesn't get him in his face
and they put a boss
to a doll in the autumn,
I saw it about a quarter of the way through these ticket, but this is a scientific part here
work alors stuff menace
the arm back onto the body of the cactus, the main body, the cactuses, to the untrained. I you can't tell that it's not real cactus sooner,
when it hits the arm of his characters. It snapshot
because the dolls in their breaks free,
and it looks as though is actually hit. The catches word. Practice is another, and in that
as is still needs our way. We should do
gets upon rony.
and he lopes out there do the stuff, I'm really kind of anxious about it and it breaks him out into a wide open. Gallup is headed straight toward the sore a cactus and, as he's approaching the last few yards to accomplish this stunt, the horse looks down and sees it
black electric cable about the diameters about like that which runs from the generators backed the lights, and he knows the debts not supposed to be in the desert in
he thinks. Maybe it's a snake. I don't know what he thinks.
but all Rony leaves the ground in mid
like all four legs, come
away from this cable and consequently smashes directly into the
Of the characters missing the arm completely cheese,
flip side saddle.
but rather than breaking loose from the stirrups dragged. Maybe a hundred fifty yards,
through really rough terrain. I've course
clearly aghast at this.
I'm watching it live and everything he goes to the hospital
he he lost
half a year
he had true
to this day areas happier and
but these guys are worthy of blood and gets stuntman illnesses. The reason there call them
he broke three ribs
collarbone.
dislocated hip,
had serious lacerations and completely. I can't believe it
I go visited him in the hospital and this
part of us than men's
bread and butter. You norman you, spend a lot of time.
the
Anyway, I go in
and all his old and deputies lay in and limbs. This way,
no everything. I apologize
deeply for the horses behaviour,
Eddie said you know being a good guy, he is he says these things happen. You know sam, he says, but you know I'll tell you what that might be. A nice team roping horse
very key dodge a cactus for shit, so
Now is virtually the last time I tried,
is my own livestock.
And whose lesson learned you know, but it's pretty much the early accident
I have one in the scientific area. The shepard was an actor who starred in the film days of Heaven and the right stuff and the tv series bloodline. He was one of the most influential writers of his generation. He wrote more than
who plays including true ass for love and the pulitzer prize winning bury child
He died in two thousand. Seventeen at the age of seventy one coming up, a young woman in kenya think she's having for boarding school until she realizes her father has something else in mind. That's now
and the motto: radio, our
The moth radio hour is produced by atlantic public media in woods, hole massachusetts and presented by the public radio exchange pr x, dot, org.
This is the moth radio, our from pierre acts and catherine burns. Our finest
it is from Sarah leaned can do we met Sarah.
We and one of the moths global community workshops on women and girls that we held in kenya after the workshop severally.
developed her story for a night we produce for the seventy first, you in general assembly
you're severally live at leaving centre.
When I was young, I grew up in a polygamous funny. My father had to waves and they won t be call home keepers. My mother,
was very submissive. I dont remember seeing her in any disagreement with my father even worse,
she had a different opinion should just giving.
In my mother was very hardworking. She used to go to the guidance every morning and would come back in the evening. That was her daily routine. I loved her, but I never wanted to be like her
I don't want to be a good. I looked up some different, my aunt
He, who is the sister to my father, was a businesswoman she used to go to attend to our businesses every day and she had a daily income. She always had a crush on her. I admired her. I wanted,
would be like her as a young girl. I remember, was so bright. I used come in the first position.
for all the seven years of my junior school, I loved school. I loved studying- I always dreamt of that day out graduate from university, but it seemed so far away each one saturday, just like the other usual saturdays. We used to go for farming, but this, but
a saturday. My father asked me to stay home in. Do some house cause it think that excited me? I hinted farming.
standing under the sun already got any was not my thing. So
You belated it was a blessing in disguise later in the day,
the rest of the members. Came back from the guidelines in my father called me. He told me to go, prepare myself
Because my unto his coming with visitors
and by the mission of my auntie coming visitors. I was
excited because this particular auntie had promised to take me to a boarding school. So I knew this was my time. This was my day. I went and started preparing myself, but why le tits? Deep down me
I could cite because I was going to leave my mother. I did not want to leave her, but again
Something goes told me you have to do this. Sarah, if you
deliberate, your mother, from the guidance you have to go in study had
and suddenly always reengaged. Yes, I was excited again and started my preparations. While in the bedroom preparing and packing my clothes, I had done knock at the door and it was my mother.
as she walked through the door. I not suddenness in our eyes.
Not suddenness on her face and they asked her mom,
Way, sad, I you know
tat before me. Don't you want me to go to a boarding school? I am not going forever I'll come back and shook when you
But in a very sad tone she told me my daughter, you're not going for school, you are going forever you're going to start your own family and you're going for marriage. I asked her mom. Why were to who and who planned these? I asked her a lot
questions, but she never answered any. We all broke down in tears and she walked away as I was trying to wake up
my soul from these very bad dream, I had another knock and it was my auntie. She walked in so excited in told me to hurry up, go greta visitors because they had come. I looked at her in disbelief in I asked her anti. Is this the boarding school that you promised me? Are you throwing away my age?
creation, push told me no. This is even better than a boarding school. This is the best option for you. Things are going to be fine, but I do not believe
I knew the
a businesswoman, she look.
Tell me more as a commodity than a daughter.
She was more concerned with the don't worry, with a bright price that you are going to pay in
exchange for my hand in marriage. I felt so betrayed, but, worst of all by the person that I looked up to buy the person that they admired. I felt disappointed that at fourteen years she wanted to marry me off. I couldn't believe her. I put myself together in the wind to the sitting room. I greeted the visitors. My father asked me.
Sarah, are you ready to go with this man? Now I kept thinking to myself. Is my father serious here.
already invited the visitors. The monies already here,
and is asking me with. I am ready to die of a choice. Why didn t ask me before, as I kept
through these. All this was running through my mind. I heard a voice from the side of the coin of the house
And it was seen: no, my data is not going for marriage until she finches school. When I looked it was my mother, my father, but tat her in saint woman,
Who are you to talk back at me? Don't you know your position in this family? I said she has to go, but my mother answered in a very strong voice and said no she's not going anywhere. Our culture is so funny.
Women are supposed to be submissive to the men. There is even a saying that when a month say something a woman should not object and a should not talk back a month, but here we are
My mother, who I always knew, knew to be very.
submissive had final gathered string to talk bucket. My dutch surprised me- I didn't expect these from her at this point in time. It was a whole lot of chaos.
These does work tat. We and our dead told my mother. If she's not ready to, let me go for Mary. We have to pack our bugs and leave the house leave the home. It was clear now
We had to leave this home because my mother was not about to give up. We ve got our butts
and ready to leave as new our stepping out of the house. I got so scared. I do not know what was coming next. Yes, I do not want to go for marriage, but again I was not sure
Going my mother was the best option. I was not sure going with her out continued. My education because should not have any source of income.
We moved into a future that was not clear at all, but we kept going. We lifts and stayed at a friend into my mom
And when, finally, my mom got that somebody told money we moved to orient house,
and we started life-
a single mother.
Life was not easy at all. It was hard it with a challenging life.
My mother used to was used to life, which was being provided for
here we only, she was the only provider of the home. She worked so hard did different kinds of pity businesses,
to look for money she sold somewhere, says she sought clauses in what tat school as office missing
trying to raise money to look after us to take me to school, and these continued.
After a year, one day, my mother called me instead,
wouldn't be SARA. I have gathered money. I want to take you bucks.
And a boarding school. I got so excited she did deeds. I doubted her, but she had met. It
She brought my dreams, bucker life. I good so proud of my mother up faster
thought old library, but guess what shape
Everybody did me she give up what other women in our culture wanted.
She gave up her marriage in fight for my education
my mother, my here,
keep the that was Sarah Lena continue. Sarah, as a gender advocate works on rights in education for women and girls. We spent this,
our hearing stories about confidence?
of how, by finding her confidence, terrorism
change the trajectory of her life and about
her mother. Sarah says
she's, now college teacher, as well as a laboratory technician. In fact, our district using only female laboratory technician. I am so
oh proud of her. That's it for this episode. We hope you'll join us next time for the moth radio, our use, our wisdom or artistic direct. Your catherine burns who also directed the stories along with Sarah Austin, Jane S, Mikhail, apply and catherine mccarthy, additional
coaching in the moth community and education programmes by dawn, frazier David crab, Melissa, brown. There
So the maastricht oral staff include Sarah haber, mention four hickson and make balls production support from timothy lulli special thanks to the world science festival David
story was produced in partnership with the festival of dangerous ideas. The moss would like to thank the bill and Melinda gates foundation for their support of the moss community programme. More stories are true is remembered. No firm by the story. Tellers are the music is buys a drift other music in this hour from Regina Carter, boom box shoddy and sell wagon symphony. The maltese produce radio by me, J alison with Vicki Merrick at a lantern public media and woods. Whole massachusetts is our was produced with funds from the national and down to the arts them already hours presented by the rex, for more about our pie, cast for information on picking your own story and everything else go to our website, dumb off dot, org.
Transcript generated on 2022-10-25.