The issue with depression and anxiety, and a lot of the things that were diagnosed with myself included is that welcome to the school of greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned wife style entrepreneur, and each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help. You discover how to unlock your inner greatness thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. The welcome to this special master class. We brought some of the top experts in the world to help you unlock the power of your life. Through this specific theme. Today, it's going to be powerful, so let's go ahead and dive in There's a new I cast serious you, maybe here from nfl, champ, Russell Wilson and audible. Think like a child, appian Russell, alongside co host harry Wilson and the late trevor mo dig

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as many of us are already planning our new years resolutions to work out more in twenty twenty three. But let's face it, they rarely stick well. Peloton got a gift for you, get up to two hundred dollars off Sesar is like non slip, grip, dumb bells, cycling, shoes, hardly monitors and more with the purchase of a politician like like plus or tread. Don't wait get this offer before it ends. On december, twenty fifth visit, one palatine dot tk. All access membership separate offer ends december. Twenty fifth cannot be combined with other offers, the additional terms at one palatine, dot, tk pulling back in you're seeing that lends ok, here's that tendency to compare myself down again. That at least gives me the opportunity to create a choice, which brings us to the next stage in my book is called the work because listeners and myself included. Oh many of us- could resonate with this. Yes, I'm over achiever. I

that part in my mind. Yet now what that is still there coloring our experiences. So then it is the work of refocusing my attention and paying less focus, because that's our most powerful tool for many to begin not spending time. Spinning down that that framework, spinning down that worry, ending up feeling so terrible about myself pulling my attention, attentional focus away putting it elsewhere is the best thing we can do for ourselves to begin. Of course, the journey of unpacking and unloading, those deep beliefs, you think, a depressive state, Power from an obsessive thought process is ours. Amharic it coming from like the more you think, I'm ruminate on I'm not enough. Never have this has come not worthy, not deserving the more ruminate on it for longer lawyers that what's gonna put me in that state of being it's one of the factors it's the only and because I would come up again

this idea of and I think a lot of times in the feel its criticise, think a different form ok, I can just re frame. I just use it very generally, my negative thinking and begin to more positive, and if anyone is suffering from depression or those symptoms, I obviously can relieve those and feel better about myself their messengers of something deeper, so typically with depression there. My unlikely is something physiological also at play on. There could be some got issues that are causing inflammation that is causing inflammation and the brain causing those symptoms of depression, there might be some nervous system activation, getting stuck in our parasympathetic in particular nervous system that results in that hypo jeddak arousal, when I ve no energy, I've, no interest so typically its thoughts and, the ideology that then maps on to thinking those thoughts for very long time, though my point of my work, I point of working homeless

Italy is to acknowledge the whole story, because I'm sure even listeners right now might have tried an affirmation, try to think a positive thought, and not she'd been able to create change because likely they are can living in a state of physiological this regulation right, other changes thought, but if you're having outcome at the same time or the eating candy and processed foods all day and you're in a stressful environment physically then it may not also shift your your feelings or your emotions right. It's kind of like you'd, have to have a holistic approach to what is the route what's causing me to feel is overwhelmed stress for depression right and it's beautiful that you're using stress and re stew because stresses is insidious and our culture and it causes not only psychological but a whole range of physical health, symptoms and ultimately, diagnoses. Stresses really problematic unfortunately, many of us, as even adults, are experiencing increasing

uh sure ass and, in my opinion, having very limited coping schools tools or resources to deal with that stress, our bodies are simplest, labour, simply very much stock in an oversight asked overwhelm state, that's again, making change and transformation incredibly difficult. one of the best coping strategies for humans to help us get stress and into more peaceful com states that using the best one the best coping strategies yeah not like bad ones, but one of the good want yeah. We we have access to the most powerful regulator of stress through our breath. we can learn two things first to be just present to or witness around our bodies, just regular breathing patterns, plus sounds the way body breeze if we can cultivate airy fold deep breath very calm,

brass chances. Our body, and that moment is in that state of relaxation is receptive to the world around us feeling safe to express a large majority of us are aren't breathing in that very calm. Rhythmic way, most of us have evolved become chest. Based very shallow breeders, and the reason why even just talk about our natural rhythm is because our mind is constantly scanning our body and its processes breathing in particular because our mind. That's a marker of how aroused we are. How stressed our body is so what I know when I dropped into my body was that I always breathe very shallow from my chest and at times I would stop breathing and the whole world with stress the more stress I am, the more I'm actually holding my breath throughout the day. So just a simple, of witnessing to me, showed evidence of while Nicole your body is trust out day in

in day out. In the actual current moment, your body continues to send signals of stress. and the reason why listeners who might struggle with anxiety or panic as I once did why this is matic is because like I said, our mind is scanning down, and it's going to begin to then think As for fattening, that's gonna scanned the environment for what's wrong and, as we Well, no we're very good at identifying what's in that moment and then before we know it. The reason why I offer this is now we're caught in a loop. Now thinking, trustful thoughts, further activating my body so dropping in noticing our these natural rhythms can give us some clues as to how activate it we are and then, of course, the next action step we can take through living in an over act nervous system, as I am, is to begin to harness intentional breathing. beginnings either direct my bread down, my belly. If I am in that shallow stressed out activated state or if you like, I just

earlier having no energy almost feel like you're, not here energetically. We actually want to cultivate that chest based the more win Half the yellow activated tool of broad work too. debate on energy system to actually up our energy into our system, so we can use breath working either direction to control our bodies, free responses, and while this is great, the body and why I talk about is it can build body balance back in as many of us need? It is also so empowering all right through an intention through doing something differently. I can actually create change, and I speak as someone who did suffer from debilitating anxiety in panic attacks, and I know how overwhelming and out of control that can feel so. in that way, ass piece of empowerment for all of those with anxiety out there, because that can be the steps back to actually creating change and saying hey, wait. I can

and control. My body in my body doesn't have to control me when it hits at peak of panic What is happening when someone is in a panic attack What were the feelings like? How long did at last, how those someone get out of a panic attack moment so panic and again, I'm just simplifying it for understanding purposes. It's that ultimate state of nervous system, activist When your body is literally geared up to fight fight or are flame, which is usually what happens next. Are we going? that all coping tool, that old resource that we once used. It feels Mary differ for each of us. Some of us actually think it can feel as I once it like. A heart attack. my describe in episode in my book, where I just home. I was in a psychoanalytic training programme and as part of my training, every saturday, I would sit in courses to learn how to be a practitioner of the work of cycling. This, and one of my courses was a group model,

where I was a participant in group psychoanalytic therapy, so anyone listening who's been in any therapy. Alot of feelings can come up, so it was a regularly emotional group. I had had that morning came home and I was with my partner at the time and long story short. I started to have him. I start to feel sweaty eyesight feel clammy. I almost gray. Longing and my heart in particular, starts and be problematic layer of concern. it was pounding. It just felt weird and arms one who had had panic attacks before I know a panic attack can mimic a heart attack yet In my down, puffy coat curled up in a ball with my cell phone in my hands, just waiting to call nine one one, because I was convinced that this must be something that's physiologically wrong with me. So some of us it can feel like a heart attack, some of us Just that elevation, where my heart feels like its through the roof, I might get that panicked, feeling crawling out of my skin and its

very scary, and what it is again. It's an extreme state of that nervous system activation. So the best tool is to help our nervous system go back into that peaceful com safe place. Now this is where I want to acknowledge that those of us who are in the throes of a panic attack They ve never practice intentional, breathing or brasswork probably are going to be successful, and this is a where's what we want to do. We want to use the tool only when we need it. This is where we really want to learn how to cultivate that balance in our bodies outside of that. No man outside of that acute were panic is crashing down around me why we want to consistently learn how to drop into our bodies. Take a temperature check. How safe is my body an activation mode or am I com and when I'm not calm, learning how to bear it's my body, then so that when, as I feel my panic, obviously increasing over time, I can learn how to the home. Regulate. Myself is the

having attacks. What's the route of is it. Someone being aware of their body and breathing. Is it allowing stressful thoughts to come in? Is that all of it stacking up over time and then is a breaking point? What is the root of panic attack? It becomes all of it over time, because our nervous system works outside. Our awareness and we have a function, is called neuro section centrally where work cod they scanning the environment, energies even included when I've been aware of it. When I'm a lawyer mar lies right, it is a crime to look for threat. However, threat gets defined based on our past experiences. This is how we can extricate the two I'm so sorry It fell overwhelming back here, continues to color I world in mind, now moments the feeling that many of us get what we may be walk into the room or up that alley, and just something feels off work, spawning. Our nervous system is always responding to everything in the moment.

However, its doing so based on our past moments, We could be throwing ourselves unbeknownst to ourselves into nervous system activation some of us are living in it all day, long term, one feel stressed. it affecting the actual brain or fighting the mind. And how do we regulate the two of the thought the ideas the mind the consciousness. I guess the awareness or the brain the fish. the brain itself, what stress screwing up into brain or is it actually attacking? The mine kind of like outside of the brain can affect both in affects the brain structure in two ways:

on the first way, is through actual inflammation of stress. They cortisol that typically is associated with stress activates. Our body activates immune system responses were inflammation, is the pride predominant remains our brain. actually covered by a very thin film, a blood brain barrier- that's very penetrates. All things can get through The issues is when inflammation actually lands within our art brain, so that can begin to cod stocks shore changes in our brain. As can our mind the way, we think the way we process our brain can actually change brain pathways systems, areas that were firing not more frequently than other areas with the most predominant wine. So many of us are living from our emotional brain. Are a migdol? Are hypocrites best all of those deeper centres, as opposed to our prefrontal cortex. So this Why it's complicated in there

very many brain scan say out there of depressed individuals of anxious individuals of individuals diagnosed with a d or eighty d of artistic re, all diagnoses. Map onto the brain, We is, though, it's the chicken or the aid. conversation, because those changes, my argument is a car as a result of the humans functioning. I believe as far back as in utero. I know that my system was impacted by my mom by the hormones raging through Herbert. Because I was sharing that body sharing a blood source idle. Far too believe about herself about me as a baby in her belly about what my future would be. We're impacting again developing. So are viral. I believe begin to shape us. So hypothetically, I could have came out as a baby infant showing like I likely did structural or changes in my brain, possibly even an up regulated, nervous system, hard to differentiate

their genetic lee. That's just what it was for me or again, whether my earliest environment shaped and I believe in the science of happy jeanette Instead, our environments are always shaping ourselves down to our physiology genetics, our environment, airmail dna shape dna and in shaping our systems shaping our brain, looks and function shaping our body looks and functions. what's that study where they put like love and anger. On water, bottle? You ever a that I yet at ice, and then it's either like dark crystal liking. recently thoughts like these beautiful snowflakes, a camera out with that study? Was they the frequency of different no shit, as I had that ice. That, with freeze. I guess ultimately ITALY and it would crystallize indifferent, assure all- and it's beautiful, because what I say

is that shows evidence of how in path the things that we can't see more, and I think the collective is waking up to the reality that there are a lot of these things that we can't see their energies, their inner, knowing their messengers of all sorts that again we're finding to outside of our awareness that are there, even though we can't see them with the sciences and show in the graph that fits very comfortably into human myers anytime, we're in that span of unknown. It's very uncomfortable. For assuming that I would guess your thoughts, but those thoughts will impact us what impact are our structure of our brain in our body? How we feel, when we think of certain thing as well and the environment Imagine people pleasing We're achiever kind of organ type right. One of the different types of archetypes, if human beings have is people, pleasure or achiever.

What are the main ones? I guess so, just in archetype so or having ever knows what we're talking about here. I'm again, it's very conditioned patterned way of being and we don't ass humans typically fall neatly. Some of us might see yourself in only one archetype. Some of us might see evidence indifferent, archetypes, we might see difference eyes of ourselves in different types of relationships and multiple archetypes might apply. I again they're not be all be all glad all categories, but their general ways of being typically how we're relating to others in relationships are to the world at large. So I mentioned you ever achiever that's one of my predominant ones. Some others are the character the person who is always endlessly showing up to service others needs for their own, never their own. They yes person who can now who is always again in another model of service, there's a hero, worship or archetype, always

Outsourcing, always looking for the person of the thing that has an answer is, as opposed to with an insult if we are aware of that? First come our main archetypes is the next step? Learn how to heal wars and learning how to repair, aren't or what would be the nice phase that region and doing the work. So the first, as I always acknowledged for some of us, have that awareness continuing have my needs are met and relationships, such usually the by product of assuming roles, are wearing. These masks is my full self is being express or I'm chronically not ignore, alleging any of my needs more, some of us acknowledging roll and typically where it came from, though that's not mandatory, you don't need to know the thing that hurt me, but for some of us and be relieving that can offer an all turn it version of narration as opposed to I'm broken when you usually, where we end up all I want

filled in my relationships, because I'm on level, because something's wrong with me, so some of us just having that awareness know, I'm the overachiever, I'm the caretaker because of things that have happened as a result of my experiences for some of us ceiling in and of itself exotic these coping mechanisms. Then it's going to master archetypes? Just like we do this for a while as he becomes. I call it. The onion me by the time we're in adulthood we're living such a condition to weigh typically as a result of being with something that was too overwhelming or too difficult at one time and the coping, is it all back to feeling seen heard and acknowledge, is Do these things so that someone sees us heard, acknowledges ice I and or two then byproduct, avoid the pain that once was. if showing right so the life the party, I use an example. If, at one point, when I showed sadness, you know I didn't feel it didn't feel accepted given whatever has had.

and art right then I, if I start If I modify. If I do not tell mom sad thing that happened, I don't have to feel that pain of them injection, so I just say a little less of my sadness and a little less of my sadness over time. So it's a code to avoid that hurt that was it's unbearable story be seen or avoid pain? Isn't it. So how should we I? What our heads Should we live in so once? we become aware right at the relief can go so far for some of us, then we are still left with us and our conditional on the right or the left with that. Have that Paul, like I shared throughout my bulky them, over cheaper is right. There ready right for that reaction in each area. though so cultivating new responses is ultimately the next step responses that we now get to choose as an adult. At one point

weren't gifted with choice. We were in environments that we had no say around now I can show up. I can make a new Why so? I can learn a new way of being. I can begin to show may be all aspects of myself walk you through the discussion I will come along with the change in the vulnerability. That's part of the process now of showing a new part of myself, though over time that allows me to cultivate my full self expression and so the work as my book off is still part of the journey. Awareness isn't going to create change because those habits are mapped down into your subconscious pathway, is that are at the ready. We ve got a really good at firing them up in our brain actually prefers that path. So showing up in our conscious mind, teaching ourselves that we always have that pathway. That leads to all the

consequences that they have always lead to. And then this pathway could lead to something else that will probably be uncomfortable because its new its uncharted territory, though it could help me marched towards future of my choosing, the season to travel and when you want to be welcomed, like family choose, lows: hotels, whether your visit is for work or for play a weekend trip to the city or a beach get away. You can count on lows: hotels to go above and beyond, to make your vacation feel effortless, no matter the destination. Your comfort is their priority, so that, from the moment you arrive, you feel at home loans. Hotels will treat you like family and lows, loves families from connecting rooms and complimentary cribs to pool toys and games you'll create lasting family memories during your stay and families includes hats to they even get their own room service menu with lower hotels, chat

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You're old sell for whenever that situation occurs, first started that was painful and having it conversation and actually connecting to that child. Is it a daily practice of I can say something on the inside was. I look like. I appreciate the question, Will acknowledge too, that the think any time we hear this idea of child and weren't adored me some of us into in years into adulthood, it does feel uncomfortable. It does feel like when you mean I'm out of childhood, I don't have that aspect of myself, I'm an adult. Now, I'm not belief that our inner child is carried with us in many different ways, and we could start with me the least scary thirty, habits and patterns. Typically you're carrying, for your body. I imagine, unless you mean an intentional shift at somewhere in your adult life. The same way, you are taught to

our physical needs are identified and may in adulthood typically is a reflection of how they were once met in childhood. How attuned our caregivers were to their own visible It's obviously, then transferring that into our own attunement, with our bodies identifying what our individual needs are so that over time we can assume that responsibility, including ourselves. I'm of the belief that thus for raised by humans that are limited by the tools that they have so I would be the first to admit. I know that I was raised by two parent figures that didn't really have a full connection to their body and to its physical needs so again when they were parenting me or cultivating that awareness in me. It was from that much more limited consciousness stay or that disconnection so not surprising. I ended up being very disconnected from my own bodies needs now this apply. to our emotional world two chances

habits and patterns away? We tend to our emotions in adulthood. Is a direct reflection of how we ten, or how we were maud older? What coping tools? when available to us at one time in one place, so to do the work of repair, we could just see ourselves witness cells in adulthood, see the areas where we are feeling like we show up for our needs. Do we acknowledge physical needs in our daily life? acknowledging that our body has them day in and day out or are we so disconnected that we don't even know what they are saying emotional? What is our emotions? climate, how do we navigate emotions or we have them again? Can we begin to create new habits? So that's what repair, hunting the approachable version is, can I create new habits and patterns in any of these areas, physical, emotional or spiritual, that better serve me I think I mean it's, turkey is everyone's different. But I believe that when were ignored,

in how we really feel and only focusing on you know how good we can make and we're not actually acknowledging the bad, because People have good feeling bad feelings, they're all feelings and are all ok, and so I think when we, So you know when we ignore a complete chunk of our life and our experience in focus instead, it's great to focus on the good, but you still have to acknowledge the the upset. the things at the turn out the way you plan and that doesn't make it bad at just life. You know what does it mean we have to acknowledge its allowing yourself to feel it whatever. That is like they find a cry, I'm let myself cry if some days I just can't, get out of bed and do all that stuff. I need to do. Maybe that's a sign that I need to take care of myself right. I need to just allow myself to have the ups and downs at the same time, and this is why it's tricky for people is. I don't want you to like ruminate or like

You notice, let yourself wallow, there's a time for acknowledgement, feelings, venting about it to people. You know therapist a friend, but then then what ok? Then we take the steps to my lord, how long she roommate vent grieve over a situation that affects us and does it matter the weight of the situation where it might be a death of someone close to you, verses Someone said something mean to me that triggered me from childhood struggles like how long do is there a rumination period that is healthy or we all different in and how we grieve and heel and move forward is at the level of trauma that matters yeah a lot of it has to do with the level. So if someone just settle I mean that really hurt my feelings or let's say I had a really bad interview. I need to get a job and it just went horribly until the whole. Damn feeling terrible and that's ok, to give yourself that day,

it may be the beginning of the next day and then move on. What's next was another thing I can kind send out my resume to someone else. You know them to take action, but the minute I still like death in the family or wake up. Yes, there's like the top ten most stressful things, your life like moving divorce and death in the family, just to name a few and I know moving, sounds crazy, but if you've ever moved, you know how stressful and stressful that those are things that are okay, to give yourself like a month or two of adjustment time. Knowing that you know there still needs to be action in there like hey, if I'm having a tough time function in my life, I I am, I can't be there for my friends or my family. I can't do my job. You know things like that, then I should seek out professional help. like a therapist or psychiatrist or you any of those things? Why is moving on top of the list of stresses traumas? Is it because we ve lived in this old ideas we in this, this home, failing in its just like a new nets or new identity, or was it

think it's a lot of things. Some of it is newness. Also routine, we love routines. Are our brains? Are bodies, love that I mean if you, if any of you have ever tried to get up around the same time, you have like rituals in your day, super helpful for mental health, physical health, all that good stuff, so moving disrupts thing right, where to find new places for everything. The whole scenario where were at work feels like it's just everything is so different, not to mention you know having to package up all your stuff. It can be an it's it's traumatic and itself, even though it can seem exciting, it can also be traumatic. Maybe that's why the first my my girlfriend moved christmas day, essentially like six months ago, right before corona, ass. She moved from every country, it was me and it was kind of dramatic above I was excited they were both sided beginners like, but this is a challenge for her

nowhere to go to get you now, her nails done our food or find friends and just a normal sea of it, and it's a different culture. It's a different country. It's your living with sir one now yeah and I had my routine, but she didn't have hers, and so I had to constantly, like you know, work together to make it work. So it's stressful for sure I can. I can relate to that roof, I'm interested in, because my entire childhood, I had a sense of deep loneliness, deep insecurity. Loneliness worry fear that no one was ever going to like me and no one was ever gonna love me and I'm I'm, assuming that it was a number of the instances I experienced in my life the number of stories, the number of things I, witness. The experience that built a story in my mind that no one's gonna like me or love Me- and I took it upon myself when I was a teenager when I

started to have friends, whereas a teenager in high school. I started to still feel a sense of loneliness with people around me and people liking me. I still felt a deep sense of loneliness and the need to get people to like me, and I I took it upon myself to to overcome that challenge by spending a lot of deep alone I'm and falling in love with myself and falling in love with, like who I am and writing letters to myself, taken myself out on dinner dates, but alone movies. The time to the point where I said you know one I really enjoy my own company. I dont need to feel good around other people anymore me having kennedy the vision to break this more.

me like creating challenges for myself, like experiencing deep pain of unicef, figuring out how to love myself. What are your thoughts on loneliness? Why do people feel lonely in general when they have lots of friends or they don't have friends, and what do you think is kind of the route of loneliness yeah. I love that, first of all, that's like all the homework I give my patients all the time lag dating yourself, really yeah, I, like writing letters. I mean if any of my viewers are listening to this. They know how often I talk about writing letters to yourself, love, love, letters, letters from your childhood self to your adult self, like a really and that I don't know how to hug your childhood self now and he'll. Oh, my goodness. Let them feel heard and understood in a way they couldn't yes, oh you to feel at ryan don't you like that was so hard, but I think

loneliness happens for a lot of reasons. Loneliness occurs, I think for some people, it's because we never let people truly no us either because it doesn't feel safe or we dont, truly no worse how do we get to know ourselves you'd? You have to be curious, I think so often we win I mean all be honest as a kid there's, so many awkward moments in my life, times, and I wished I I grew up in the country, and so some of my friends had like well, some didn't some parent, we're like business people, my dad was a boilermaker, so we were very like blue collar. I grew up on a christmas tree farm and there were times I wanted for that. You know how come I can't have that every kid has right, you are. Why doesn't my body look this way? Why am I so gangly? And why is this let's, you know there's so many things that as a kid I was so uncomfortable and I think being open. to be curious about that like. Why am I on control? What is so wrong with me? So often we just accept something's wrong with me, and then we take.

My whole life is like something's wrong with made known. You know there, Furthermore, stand it anymore, I'm wrong on bad. You know We bear all the stuff. We have those thoughts. There was something I read. I forget this study, that it was that supported this, but somewhere between sixty thousand and ninety thousand zog every day are not new thoughts, but just stopped. And ninety four percent of them are something other than it had we already how we weren't repeating the thoughts so at the most, with them are bad. I will be honest. I would estimate like sixty percent of them are negative, with the public fear base of like marine days of. Am I looking good or is this? What do they think about me right? yeah and that's because our brain is wired to seek out threat right, it keeps us safe, make sure we're. Okay and good things aren't threatening. So, of course, we're going to focus on like hey. That person was whispering when I walked in the room. I think they're talking about me, I don't think Like me, I mean so, how do we train our minds for positivity? Without it hurting us, parliament has just noticing our thoughts so often we have them

The kind of building off of the loneliness right? We have these thoughts at some shame, built and guilt built like something's wrong with me. That's shame speaking out, saying something's intrinsically wrong. People aren't going to like you and you're so stupid. All of those things we have to notice if we're having those. If those are the thoughts that we're like taking up our vote is taken up our brain space and time and we're having ninety thousand of them in a day. Think it's gonna if you're lonely, you're going to feel you're going to be sick, you're, going to be sad, you're going to be worried, it's stress and anxious. So how do we then get to the root of the loneliness or not feeling lonely anymore. I'm hearing you say we need to discover and and pay attention to. We are we need to explore ourselves. We need to what else. Does that look like yeah? I think part of it is recognizing why kind of reset like it could be, because you don't know yourself or you're afraid to let people know you you know, and so recognizing that recognizing and

how honest were being with ourselves and others. A lot of loneliness comes out of that, but when it comes it really made by not we're not revealing who we are were hiding thing, you're, not opening up fully were we have different rates that were unwilling to share because we feel, like other people, are good in shame us or not like us exactly. I can tell you how many times I have here from my patients are viewers that they dont feel comfortable telling their and close friends that we are having a hard time. So I go, I don't let them think I'm attention seeking. I don't want them to think. And were making those assumptions. Rightly anxiety comes out of either. We think we're like reading the magic eight ball into the future or were focused on the past. No account will be present, and so a lot of people will say it say it can even tell them I'm having a tough time leave, put ourselves and our own our own jail with that right, no one asked, but that there were still showing itself. okay, yeah cycle. I think a lot of people want to help someone like, if you say like no, I'm actually kind of struggling with this today. I feel like people want to be a

we shan't want to be a listening. Ear want to be a helping hand if their friend is going through a challenge. I think when you correct me if I'm wrong, but I if you're always negative, like my life, is over every day with your friends, that's a drag and you dont want to be always in need of support on pursuing, but not even need a native support. I think it's not taking saint advice like you're asking for us dense, but you're, not accepting of any of it. So you're, really not asking me what I mean and I think that's when it becomes like. I call like an emotional vampire or like a toxic relationship where you're just like, if you're the person trying to offer that It's just like they're taking and taking and you're giving in your maintenance and not getting anywhere, it's the it's like being a mentor and in business or life. I get a lot of people that ask me you know to to pick my brain or the mentor ship in the worst thing that a mentor can have is someone who waste their time, who doesn't inaction

like? Okay? Here's the game plan- if this is what you want, go to this for the next sixty days and then when they don't do it you're like. Why did I waste my time or, if I'm driving you something to try whether work or not, and you dont do it and you keep wanting more advice. It's a time suck a totally and it doesnt benefit either of you right, because it is it's just lip service is not actually gonna turn out to be. Anything else, say somewhat chewing, really lonely right now

whether it's they've been lonely before corona or now, it's like, they feel even more lonely like what can they do? You know three to four things they could do for the next thirty to ninety days to help them discover themselves to help them become a little less lonely and fall in love with themselves. A little more yeah there's a couple of things. First kind of going back, but we're talking about originally is, is noticing your thoughts, because I do believe if we are able to change our thoughts. We change our life. It's it's miraculous in it's very simple, but it's also very difficult, so if they notice those thoughts and track down your top five okay cause. Never ever say. Most of them are repeat thoughts, so those could be things like. I'm not good enough they're not going to like me, I'm a loser. I dunno trust me. We've all had those thoughts, no judgements write down your top five and then I want you to work using bridge statements. I call them two more positive, because no one's gonna believe amounts are? But if I think I'm stupid, I can't be like I'm smart, I'm smart!

can a believer even in my head and dislike. That's a lie. That's a lie. There's no! There proof to show like if, for me, I thought I ve been stupid. My whole life because I've always in the bottom, my class, my grades. So like there's no since it's a lie. If I say I'm smart, because I don't believe I'm calmed enough to to feel smart yeah cause you're, checking your facts right and you're like exactly what I based on there I was system so I was very street smart, but I didn't calculate that- and I was unaware of that- does not alter I now right, ok, so so bridge state when one is alec like it lives in stability land. It's like it's possible like, for example at say. Maybe I'm not as dumb as I think I am it's possible that I could have other gifts and other ways that an intelligent man will wonder. Open to that idea were not saying I am or I'm not, whereas, like it's possible, not one hundred percent correct on this and that we just

I live in that land and start moving a little bit more than in the next couple economy. Something like you know. I do think I have some street smart, so it's possible and I'm intelligent and that wrong. Maybe I'm gonna look into that in a building your evidence, along with these bridge statements into the space of you know, I'm super smart, gotcha, okay. So this is the second step. What what's after that? What's the face, then, once we've done that that kind of work, I think, and the letters to yourself super helpful. I love that you did that come on now, akkadian this super woogie and hay happy days like this, no science, a back citizen another is science, their backs it so do I mean in as short and simple as away, I can explain, you know we always hear the old adage like you can teach it old dog new tricks, which can

every day our brain is learning in our hippocampus, where memories are formed. It creates these new neurons. Every day was neurons, get together with each other to create memories and learning right. So each and every day whether we recognize it or not, we're learning new things and instead of taking that opportunity, teach ourselves nasty things like I'm horrible and stupid. Let's take that opportunity teach ourselves things that are helpful supportive. You know. Maybe I can get to know myself, because I have never taken the opportunity to actually learn about what makes me take I've just numbed out and zoom through life, sort of these letters. Look like once a day, euralia letters and once a week month what were and what is the letter saying I like to keep it pretty simple. So that is something we can do I think too often in therapy, especially in the woo woo land of psychology, that we can like self help land and it can get too labor intensive, and then we don't do it. So I like to keep it to a letter to yourself tomorrow,

because the only person I'm competing with is really myself like yesterday, ooh yeah, and so if we keep it to that, like you know, dear dear self, you know it can be like today. I hope for or I'm grateful for this tomorrow. I hope to I wanted to just a but you know twenty four forty eight hour window of what you are grateful for what you hope for and what maybe didn't work out again. We don't want, in the gate, the things that aren't good. We just one acknowledged and like hey, I tried this and I still feel bad so Not to do that one tomorrow, I'm try this, and so it just keeps us kind of moving forward and keeping it short and sweet. Just those like I'm grateful for I'm hopeful for things that worked out or didn't work out, you're done kind of like that's. My five minute journals are so popular exactly to keep with that, and I would encourage people to try to do this if you can every day awesome least every other day, just so you're checking in with yourself and to see how you're moving along, how you're doing- and I think that will give you the thing- that's cool about journaling as we can go.

Ok then be like. Oh my god me six months ago, would never have thought that I could do this, for you know we lose sight of our own growth and development goes where, with ourselves all the time. I now. while other people are running around doing their errands, you can check one thing off your list from the comfort of well, wherever you are where you aren't running your errands It ready for the cold weather season by getting your propane tank, delivered straight to your door with cinch, since as a pro pain, tank home delivery service that does the heavy lifting for you and delivers grill tanks right to your front door. It's pretty simple to use just put on your favorite podcast, like this one park yourself on the couch and place your order with cinch since will deliver your tanks straight to your home and the loss of exchange any brand as long as it is a standard grill size with those

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in business web development data science, I t certification and more many courses even come with practice projects and exercises to polish or skills with you to me, you'll learn from talented real world exports and you to me as a one stop shop for the latest skills to thrive in a changing world. You can learn anytime anywhere with the? U to me at once, you purchase. Of course you have a lifetime access. You can also subscribe for access to a curate, a collection of top courses plus mutiny comes with a thirty day. Satisfaction guaranteed visit new to me dot com and find the course for you. That's you d ye, and why not tom? So I really liked this idea of quick short letters to yourself tomorrow. I'm a big fan of meditation. I just talking with my buddy J study last night about meditation and how we talk meditation so much in kind of our space, but he was like puts eighty percent of the world natives around the world still doesn't know about meditation, isn't doing it even

if we hear it and talk about it so much, we think like we're, sick sticker talking about the same thing but and I'm a big fan of meditating, because I feel like you can be aware of your thoughts and you can start and I like to plan the day. I'd do it in the morning and I'd like to think about what do I want to create this day? What's the greatest first myself today, but I really like the idea of you- know self meditating over pen and paper for tomorrow, as well by writing a letter to yourself setting our attention as well. You're saying this is what I want to start thinking about brain one of my brain start, saying your ugly and stupid and worthless. Now I want to switch it and here's what we're gonna do. So, prepare yourself for all the different challenges that may come, and I think correct me if I'm wrong I think we dont prepare ourselves or set ourselves up to win. Then we're always been reaction mode because we haven't trained our mind to win their right, yeah, one hundred percent it it's like confirmation by us like. If I go looking, I'm always heart. My audience about this

patients like if I go looking for negativity, if I go looking for a reason to be upset, I'm gonna find it, and so we want to make sure they were looking for reasons to be excited things that we can do better reaching the goals are being feeling productive that day whatever? That means you ducted might be. I laid on the couch and did some self care watch. Some tv talked to my friends. You know that's still productive, but I think in a lot of ways we just- go searching for bad things, and I was surprised that we find them. There is actually is there a next step in this process of loneliness and getting to know yourself if you're doing the daily letters for tomorrow. What would you say if the next steps yeah. I think the next thing- and this is going to be the hardest for people and they'll, probably like ooh, but I want you to tip toe into social land in an authentic way. So if we have friends that we are

and we think hey. They don't know me. You know I'm still lonely, even though, like I've heard from a lot of people, I can feel super lonely, even though I'm in a crowded room with people that I know- and I want you to be more authentic. I challenge you to pick one person that I'll give you like two weeks to do this. One person that you're going to be honest with about how doing or what's going on, and I'm fine everything's good, like don't just repeat the same thing. I always say like these great when it's not when you've got some underlying issue totally we instead, we need to say something to the effect of yeah. It's been kind of hard. You know I've been going through a tough time. I mean right now, especially with the coronavirus and our world feeling like it's turned upside down. It's a. I think it's even more acceptable to be like yeah. It's been, it's been rough. You know this. These past few had been pretty terrible and then they would understand you know and we're just tiptoeing we're not sharing a bunch. I want you to like what our colleague verbal diary

but I do want to share it all. once it's all someone's face in their like wool woah. I wasn't ready for that. So we just one star What things like hey I last week was was was kind of man on trying again this week. How have you been? You know we a little bit. We reflect so don't spent an hour just going down a deep and but open up some yeah, letting them know that it's not all peachy keen all the time. What does I do for you and other people? you open up a little bit. First of all, it allows you to be your authentic south so that people can slowly get to know you not to mention at the same time you get to know yourself and then that little bit of vulnerability, leave space for real relationships, and I think that that's why I was her feeling lonely is because we don't really we either know ourselves or allow other people to know us gosh. You know it's hard, it's uncomfortable and that's why I should pick one person and one person you have if we check our faq center. You know I was talking about being a detective.

Maybe it's because I love crime shows, but you've got pick the right person. You trust yes, because I'm a healthy colleges, I was train. Have you stress as the enemy look at the science, you can find evidence that stress increases your risk of everything. People don't want from heart disease to depression. All that bad. Almost ten years ago I came across this study that made me really rethink stress and it was a study that tracked about thirty thousand adults for almost a decade in the: u S, at the beginning of the study. They ask people first, how stressful is your life and then also do you believe that your stress is harmful? Do you believe that stress is bad, for you house until they follow them to find out. Is it true that stress kills and what they found is that for the subset of people who had a very stressful life

most strongly believed that their stress was harmful. They had a forty three percent increased risk of dying from any cause over the next decade, but the Well, who had the most stressful lives and did not stop we believe that stress was bad for them. They were them slightly to be alive at the end of the decade, and you know this study caught my attention because, first of all, it suggests stress, is not always the enemy and these it's not always a risk factor in the way that we think about it, but then was making me think like how many of those doubts as I personally responsible for by going out there, trying to convince people that stress was bad for their help and on you the trust will kill your brain cells and eventually kill you so that we can wake up moment for me to start want to investigate. Is it possible that how you think about stress can interact with stress tab? You avoid some the consequences. We don't want

and maybe even something good about stress worth embracing your mind. Sat, could help you harness some of your personal strengths. Hope you harness the strengthen your community together some positive outcomes- we maybe don't usually associate with stress. So I think drugs shy away from the idea that stress, is in bad unless you believe it is which is sometimes on my work gets mom summarised businessman kay em, like you said, I'm a scientist, so you know I understood, Data stress is a is a paradox strand. is not something that we often get to choose. It's not like. Even if you had a wish lists- and you could say I want this much and this type of stress it's not like. We have that opportunity I'm really interested in is this idea that we now call the stress mindset a fact that there are we thinking about stress that can make your bodies response distress healthier. That can change. What happens in your

rain in moments of stress that make you braver more resilient, more willing to accept help from others and These mindsets basically changed the trajectory of how stress effect. You that's the big idea that I hope the sheriff people. What do we know that we are experiencing good stress, versus bad stress, no such thing as good strasser, bad shots. I want to say that is again another. I think a big misconception around stress. You could hear people things like. Oh good stress, it's like the stress again no promotion or the stress of winning the lottery over the stress of doing something really exciting, but you're good at young people stress about stress as all the stuff. We don't want. It's the pan, the suffering, it's the laws, it's the uncertainty, it's what We actually mean when we say we're stress, as all of that too, I mean forget, good trespassed rascals it sets us up to think that if we are experiencing what

All of us will instinctively say, didn't want this. Like the bad stress. That's that's real stress for most of us and again motionless, don't get to choose how stress our lives are how stressful the world enemy this. The time we're living in now is a perfect example of that label things good stress, bad stress. It can lead to it's like believing what's it trying to home school your kids right now, and its enormous, a stressful and you're feeling, like a bad and a bad teacher, and you can't figure out how you're gonna get, today, let alone tomorrow you if you believe that bad dress, you're, gonna, believe I'm not cut out to be apparent, there's something with my kids is something wrong with my life, and I just like, let's now here is Here's the distinction that I like to make life can be difficult so that good or bad but stresses what arises in new and something that you care about is at stake, so it your did your emotions at your biology. It's the stress hormones, it's the adrenaline, it's your desire

to reach out to others. It's times a sense of outrage and anger. It's all the stuff that emerges help you meet a moment that matters, and so what I like to focus on is in moments of stress some of those instincts are going to be healthy and helpful and others are not so rather than like Spain, good or bad it's, learning more about your stress responses, the repertoire that's available to you and how did you get glittered stress so that you can tell in a moment of stress, is this a moment that require slowing down and going within or is this a moment that requires being vulnerable and asking for help. Is this a moment that requires ignore everything else and rising to the challenge, because it's an emergency and I knew that adrenaline to to do it- is alive. different ways to be good at stress, and that's that that's the good that I like to focus on the other big,

for that our life is an interpretation and the language we use dictates the way we think and feel, and the more we say, I'm sorry, I'm overwhelm anymore that we use after I am. We start to manifest more in the mind and the body make necked and we create that. I'm sick, I'm not feeling well, the more we say these things now. We should be aware of these things and not just act like it's not there, but I think when we use less, which, in almost eliminating the word stress or over whelm and refraining, it can be a powerful thing as well. What does your thoughts on how we use words around our are stressing zaire loneliness prussian? How? How should we be using words language during that time? Their lot examples at that I can go into, but I want to start like it from an overview. This is where that improv, I d have. Yes, then can we really help?

because I know you ve talked with other guess about this too. Sometimes there is a tendency to want to be so positive, but we ignore reality and out no one the things as one that I'm drawn to the research that I do and the topics I talk about is because he's not in my nature, to be positive, so any time negative negative person, Pessimistic hang around existential dread, terrified by life from birth. The word it's against you, yeah yeah. I know not, because not because necessarily life experiences that have shaped that worldview. I married, I believe, a lot in genetics also, so I think, like that's my temperament, so I'm trying lot to these ideas of what choosing positive emotions refraining things, because it's the antidote to my might habits that can become destructive. so I think I'm part of this is as another you could you could

lose me to somebody who needs to seriously come to terms with the reality of suffering, and I put him in the opposite direction but oh, no, I'm never stressed. Oh everything happens for a reason I want to be like. I would want to ground them in the opposite. That is also true, so But let's get back to the idea, because there is some truth to positive language and mindset. Really simple. Example. We know that physiology. Anxiety and excitement are really similar in your body and in your brain and if you to take someone who's feeling really anxious, measured at heart rate, look at the ratio dress, hormones that are coursing through their bloodstream and you Someone who's really excited almost identical one of my favorite studies was: actually they had people jumping out of aeroplanes, and some people were terrified at some people were. This is what I live for physiology exactly the same way. The only difference is the story that they were telling themselves about this experience. You know whether they felt capable of it

and so there's research suggesting that in moments of anxiety, even if truly you're, anxious you're, not excited? In that moment, We say to yourself: I want my hardest pounding. This means my heart is in it my it is giving the energy to meet this moment, and you could try in yourself like I'm here for this never your version of ie, if saying I'm excited feels like too far just I like this, heart is in it, which is it from anxiety to excitement it's now about lined yourself rampaging you to make it it's about. Saying, ok, my body is getting ready for their cycle, you're my body in this moment, so, let's roll out and what we know is that as soon as people do that it starts to suddenly shift physiology in a way that actually is a little bit healthier than like a fighter flight response

in more elaborate, very relaxed about it. Yet you get more energy, less inflammation in your body, you're, going to move towards a stress state that really is just helping. You have energy, encourage and enjoy the moment and also increase positive emotions like like confidence, and enthusiasm. It makes you better able to connect with other people, You mean their studies that do a similar and a mindset reset for people who are about to her stressful conversation. Unlike me, no one way which studies are found. It people made more eye contact and they were more likely to mimic the other person's body language. This really natural way that helps build report. Just by refrain in their anxiety. As do that they could harness as a sign that they care, that's one example another. Let's have a far cry from something like saying good for me, therefore, it is there something neuter. These resets are pretty specific because there grounded in biological reality give you one other example: one

the biological things, it often happens when we're stressed changes in our brain and in in the hormones in our body that make us lonely and and start to feel really alone and what most people recognises that is you're just like when you're hardest pounding it, your body, trying to give you energy to act when feel lonely. That's your brain and your body trying to get you to connect you hungry for support for connection for allies for teamwork and cooperation and produces like a hunger for social contact and community and too often people feel that loneliness and what they think is its because alone. It's because no one understands its, because I'm the only one and they missed but this signal is, and they tell themselves a story that actually make some further withdraw. So that's another type of like stress, signal

when you understand what's happening in your biology. You can embrace it and say this is assigned to reach out while so when we feel lonely, we shouldn't continue being lonely. We should actually reach out and create connection and not say no one's, going to understand my pain right now. So many stay in my bed for two weeks and watch netflix alone and get more rest! That is, not the solution. Yeah, often the you know it's interesting. I mean this sort of speaking more broadly as a just out and find that believes that view tell themselves that are most painful, are almost always, if it's just telling you what you care about like if you in your tongue yourselves, or about being alone and lonely. What you're? What your ass revealing is like you know, people care about you and unita. Now you need your people, you know anybody not really thought. I never thought about that way and saying like if I feel lonely, it means people care about me need to reach out because they want to get connected to your europe

brain the arts stupid, if no He cared about you, you wouldn't actually experience a desire for community in contact, as is the brain, is very interesting. It's like you know it's it's funny with depression. Often One of the most insidious things about it is depression will actually start to lie to you and it will it's how you there's nothing. You can do and there's nobody who care Yours and you actually have a very suppressed stress response and an army suffering but stresses you know it's a physiological thing. And had often involves hormone, an energy brain activity that is trying to push you in the direction of meeting life and when you're depressed you actually stop. feeling like there's anything that you can do to meet this moment or that there are other people who could help you and support you, and that's that's what oh insidious and ugly about depression. Is it's a lie? If you're not in that state, you can really start to read a lot of these signals that we experiences

call emotions are annoying logical. Symptoms of stress, as actually pointing you to the strength that you have and and how you can respond and what you need in this moment. What's the reason for depression for you beings, why do we? Why is it happened? So many people when it doesn't feel like ideas a good purpose for where? What is the reason? There are a lot of theories about this. I won't say that I, I know anything, to be better than other theories. But I do I do subscribe to the idea that You wouldn't see something in humanity that has no purpose so alive. the things that that we experience as not like not we will choose ourselves things at grief, anxiety, depression, anger, they serve a function, So one of the factors that depression in its of initial form is meant to help you

energy and and withdraw from from reactivity. And an giving away of your energy and attention so that you can kind of pull back slow down, pause and process what's happening in your life and that's that's enough call this means call that, like reactive depression, its normal, it's typical when things in your life are difficult and do. You feel completely overwhelmed completely stress people, don't understand you and you're like okay. I need a break to actually reflect on what's happening. Almost in the way that, if you were, you know if you were running ultra marathon, you get tired and your body were in brain work, very hard to convince you to slow down and take a break because it's in your best interests now, so that one theory. Another theory which I find very plausible is that depend is the equivalent of what you see

animals are called the defeat. Response this is if you are an animal in the wild and you experience so much rejection from your unity, your family, your group, do you been Ostracize. Ah, you have very low access to resources on your own. You can't like find a way to survive on your own. You will see These changes happen in the brain and body that they're called the defeat response, but its biological cascade. That basic convinces animals to crawl away and I to give up on life and to like it. You, if you stress out rat enough, I say putting them in a cage with a bunch of rats, a bully that right incessantly and the rat can do nothing to escape and you're gonna get. Resources, and it's got no purpose in life.

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Well, you said it compared to native speakers, learn pretty much any language you're interested in or even all of them, with a lifetime unlimited subscription for limited time, the school of greatness listeners can get reset stones lifetime unlimited subscription, which gives you access to all twenty the languages for ever for sixty percent off, go to resent us dot com and use greatness code today, razetta stone how language is learned, You will see changes in the rats, brain and biology. Then, if you further rat in a bucket of water, it doesn't even try to swim. It has not been drowns. So I think that a lot of what we experience has depression, and why depression is an epidemic in so many cultures now so many societies. Is that a lot people are Ex you're insane kind of the equivalent of being in a cage and being bullied and not clear about? What can I do too? through my circumstances. Who cares about me? Who can I

How can I contribute to the world, and I'm not saying it's necessarily true me? You can feel that way, even when something is possible right that that it's pretty how they in sometimes it actually is sure like. Sometimes you really are in circumstances that can trigger defeat. But I think that is another reason why depression might exist, which case it's doing nothing for you and that I mean it's worth knowing that depression, can't Your brain turn on you cause the depression is not thinking about your well being that's crazy. What do you think are the three or four things that can help us get out of a depressed state of being whether it's been four weeks months years were? moments yeah look here. I will go to both the science and my direct experience. One big interests in life is helping me who find themselves in circumstances. They would not have chosen for themselves and grief is a big one year or trauma. So

what the sciences and what I have seen and people's lives, and my own life is, if you're, on a do it. Yours the first of all. Let me say obviously you use whatever resources are available to you, fair pudica, a medically and that's, not my role, so I don't write prescriptions. I dont do farrabee I'm, so I I'm not out there in the world sharing that with people but obvious everything from antidepressants too new treatments like deep brain stimulation and a magnetic stimulation of the brain therapy group there, We wonder with all of that stuff. obviously use that an end and I believe in the power of a sort of all of the evidence based treatments, but I don't have to do it, so I'm not other sharing it, your honor, do it yourself, supportive pathway. In addition to or instead of that, other stuff exercise number and I know how that sounds as somebody who is depressed, I know

have actually been in the state where, where it was so hard to move. I I but of punch. Someone who told me to exercise if I had the strength to find someone to told me exercise. I understand what it can be like to be in a physical state of depression or grief. where every cell in your motor system is saying, don't move I'm making it impossible to even get to to put my foot in front of the other that There is nothing else. You can do that more dramatically and profoundly changes, your brain chemistry immediately and in the long term to relieve depression. Whether we are talking about the brain chemistry that kicks in the adrenaline and adobe dopamine. That just gives you a little bit of energy, even if you're depressed that tends to kick in immediately you over time, as your brain learns. How to benefit from exercise you will start to get an exercise high, bad. You gonna, give you and now the noise

Women mean and endorphins that that just transform your outlook, unlike the data exercise and then six, we eight weeks months later, the changes in the structure of the brain that can only be compared to what you see from the most cutting edge neurological treatments for depression, things like d willingly stimulation, so yeah that exercise actually changes your reward system, the structure and function of your words system in ways that can help it recover from depression or addiction which can absolutely wreak havoc membranes. duty to experience, joy and anticipate pleasure and stay motivated, depression, grief and addiction all like they all have a very similar effect on the brain, ability to experience positive motivation and take joy in everyday life. An exercise is a source

I can tell because I looked for it in the new research. As far as I can tell it's, the only thing that you can choose to do that has that kind of impact on your brain in the long term, while that's number one. I could keep going with you some it's summer, why why give me a couple of others? Number two is going gonna sound super cheesy, but I believe this is find a way to be of service to others, and the research really supports this as well. But if you think about it, we talked about depression as being possibly for some people. It's like a defeat, response, where you ve had experiences in life that have misled, you into believing that you don't have value or that you aren't cared about or theirs you can do to make a difference in your life or in the world and the fastest way to get contradictory evidence is to volunteer to help someone either, but a couple times in my life I was struggling where I re engaged with not naturally, waiting money. When I can,

but to show up to a place and help people. So then I was in graduate school and was working in a food kitchen and preparing food and serving food and then later on, starting to as an adoption councillor for animal rescue organisations where it actually go in and adopt our animals who otherwise be homeless or even euthanize. When you do that, the thing that it so re about, about helping others are volunteering, is people see you differently in that role. there are already was in you that good, like what good is in you often when you're in a situation of being able to help others, it just gets reflected back to you. in the same issue for me and in teaching as well. I always feel like my students, like me so much more than like my family members there's something about a rule where you're trying to help others where they see

you differently? They appreciate you more such a gift. If you have a voice in your head, that says you have nothing to offer and nobody cares about you there's no good in the world, because there's you get the sort of reciprocity where you tap into your desire to do good you see, the only ones suffering. There's another great thing about helping others is, it makes a visible. Might otherwise have been invisible. As you see how many other people are struggling with food scarcity, how many other people are struggling with addiction, whatever it well capacity are able to volunteer service to realize you're alone. Even if that struggle, different than your own. You see that common him out again and again that people see the good in you so that I'm sure that sounds cheesy, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna, stand stand and the truth about, and then retailers and their signs that backs soares. And not only that I mention this in my ted talk, so of course you can.

we signed studies showing that stressful life circumstances are bad for your health, so If you lose your job, if you get divorce, if you experienced trauma could that creature risk of physical health problems. Disease is new mental health challenges, yeahs they're, all studies- showing that, if you are, someone regularly volunteers or you have a care given role that is not in and of itself a major source of stress. I mean they're caregiving roles are enormously stressful, but it will take to give care in a way. That is not that extreme got those events don't take a toll on your physical or mental health,

with study showing that that literally, you can get fired or get divorced, and you would expect it to cause all sorts of problems for your health and your mental health and that trend or that effect disappears from the population of people who are regularly giving back to their communities or providing care to others. So there there's lots of great search bar, and then the third thing I will say is where you- and I were talking about this for we, whether he live again beyond like get get up right, antidepressant medication, if that's for you, but one of things at you choose at any given moment that is incredibly helpful for depression or grief or trauma to have a relationship with an animal, hands on you and who you can have that success. Experience of providing the care that they need. and it seemed like in many of my books, I've written about research. He's done with with groups of people who are healed through their relationship.

Providing care to animal love. Your people, who experience enormous childhood trauma and came to view themselves as essentially like broken or unlovable rejected, and then to then go out and adopt or train and animal who is going to be euthanized because it was violent or it was rejected, was abandoned and that you know in I do not care and see the enormous beauty and wonder in that animal, and they see it in you Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoy today's episode and inspired you're on your journey towards greatness, make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full run down of today's show, with all the important links and also make sure to share this with a friend in subscribe, oberon apple pie task as well. I really love hearing feedback from you guys who share a review of one apple, and let me know what part of his episode resonate with you, the most No one's told you lately. I want to remind you that you are loved. You are

worthy and you matter and now, how to go out there and do something great, the if you want to dive deeper into another. Similar episode check out the links in the podcast description, the school of greatness, has more than one thousand episodes from the past decade and I'll bring you more inspiration just like this robin hood, isn't investing platform that help serious investors with their financial goals by giving them the tools to run their money on their terms. So you can make power moves in your power suit, even if that power sue, I believe fuzzy slippers or an oversized switcher, but Has our makes you you when you're money with robin hood learn more on robin hood. Dark harms, lash part casts stocks and eat. ass offered by robin hood financial llc member S, ipc crypto for by robin hood crypto llc, all investing involves risk.