« The Tony Robbins Podcast

Could tragedy be your greatest classroom? | Discovering the gift of growth

2019-12-10 | 🔗

In 2012, U.S. Army Master Sergeant Cedric King woke up from a coma in Afghanistan to discover that his legs had been amputated. Today, 8 years later, Cedric says if given the chance, he'd do it all over again. You'll hear his story of finding tremendous growth in tragedy by relinquishing control and expectations.

You'll also hear from Richie Harkham, who had a devastating motorcycle accident that left him with years of pain and recovery. But this isn't a story about Richie's pain – it's about how he used his own trauma to grow, and give to others. And his mission to give was all inspired by one boy, who gave him an incredible gift at a time when there was no end in sight.

To learn more about the gift of growth, visit www.tonyrobbins.com/gifts.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Spare joy. The realise every challenge has ever been brought to me has made me more. I become more I can serve more so I can enjoy more why work here in this life, to bring more good, more great, bring insight and brings ring the bring action. That's why we're here? Welcome to the twenty one has passed here, listening to an episode that part of special season on contribution horse forget were exploring the ten gifts of life, emotion, drive, growth, joy, gratitude, connection, consciousness, grace presence and forgiveness, failure, Tony explaining guests and hear stories, true heroes that great, how they shop in real life. We hope you enjoy this episode on the power of growth.
I'm sitting there and I'm looking at just a bed, I'm thinking and I'm in a hospital. Just like everybody else. I am a wife so to me there I've lost both legs. Both legs have been too in a way for me, while I'm in a coma on a wake up to find it, not there anymore. Did he can sometimes become the greatest classroom You ever be able to attain, and this particular one drop me so much and ever advocate war, never advocated being in conflict, another country but I will say this for me: it taught me saw so much. It was given the option to learn and grow and be better because of the tragedy that says your king he's a retired. U S, Army master sergeant, father, husband and a traffic is also a doubly amputee in two thousand twelve. During his deployment. Cedric platoon conducted a mission in Afghan village as they approach the target.
They followed her machine gun fire and wants to firefight ended Cedric stepped on a pressure, plead, improvised explosive device or an idea which have caused nearly of all U S, deaths in operational war zones in Afghanistan and Iraq, Sidra sustained severe damage to his right hand, causing disfigurement and both of his legs were lost. It was an accident that changed his entire life and it made question is identity, but today, nearly eight years after his accident Cedric says that if he had the choice, you would do it all over again you may be wondering why would someone ever see something like that? It's because, even through all his physical pain and suffering, Cedric experience, tremendous personal growth and a shift in mindset that he says has made him a better man. Today, in this episode, you're going to her how Cedric give up expectations he had about his life,
to rise above his tragedy and accomplish incredible physical seats and another story from a man named Richie Markham is devastating. Motorcycle accident pushed him to grow even more and give more than he could ever imagine, but before we hear more from Cedric and Richie here's what Tony has to say about growth and why it's important that all of us, no matter the setbacks we face, continue to grow so that we can get he will come back this week. We want to talk about when the most important gifts of all the gift of growth, it's an extraordinary give, because when you look at what makes people really feel alive, there's a few the compete with growing and, of course, giving those too together. If you don't have something to give, though, that unique that special, that's important, it's gotta be something experience we can give to someone something else we don't have. You can inspire others if you're not inspired, you can't touch others. Have you not been touched? You can move, somebody do not move and what does come from without it my fears,
dead inside we're all trying to mark something that gives us a sense of alive. Misty bless me all the time. What is it? We take to be happy to work with people all over the earth millions of people, I'm sure using miserable people who pointed bills. What really make somebody happy- and I give you my word- progress progress- equals happiness literally. If you make some giant goal, we gotta go you achieving. You were so excited about Ruggles, I'm sure for instance, to geology goal and our future events. It is this all there is where called us build up and just not the fulfilment, but even better than that what about something where you achieve something that you weren't saw foreign you're so exciting was so happy. How long did you stay happy? happy for a year use ten years for six months. Six weeks, Six days for six hours. I mean
people's happiness. Last some aubergines six hours and maybe sixty days most capitals, they happy about anything per year, do think yourself. Why don't they say I'll? Be right, Michael, I want so. Why does? Why doesn't sleep a bill? Because life is not about you? Just getting your goals You did you notice, you see something of a super power when I was seventeen years old, never forgotten, he said. Listen to me. Is that what you get? we'll, never make you happy business, are you guys who you become very happy or very sad? Ultimately, we have challenges so that we can grow and we have growth, so we have something to give and if the giving that makes the alive and the growing that makes us feel like what progress. Human beings do well, listen. If you rebounds overweight or your relationship is so far from what you wanted to be. You don't know what to do or your economic so completely messed up, and you just start to make some progress. You start to work out most anyway. You are due to start feeling better
studies. Do something deal their relationship. Even painful you're gonna feel the sense of progress. So you do something alone, your finances, even if they are not there. Yet, as you or to lose weight, and you start to give all men of you're gonna feel that sense of growth and lightness and will be a strong and maybe even more than when you actually achieve it, which will not last reason. Ears were not made to sit at the table of success too long. If you do that, you'll be bored really, my friends, that we seem filter companies, over twenty thirty years old it for half a billion dollars, a billion dollars whenever the number was ridiculous numbers and we usually for about thirty nine days and then is like I need something meaningful. The challenges that makes me feel like Emily sit on my boat or on the beach or drink that Greece is changed The girls were so long before it's like wife, ass. They have a deeper meaning, and so, if you grow consciously years, would challenge for life will show up and give you something to grow from so there's this imperative, Progress is everything and most
progress, he could be incremental progress. This not be joyously incremental progress that you do consistent, believe those giant rewards see success overnight, but you know that as well as I do needed failure. The call it still. You say I love you its values. Up until the truth. It's failed. All these little things, a great failure and success, fulfilment. I've is not one thing you did one time, it's the little things it saying I love you would stepping up its doing what's right, people and no one else, reward you. Those laws. Things are the things that make you grow and that growth is what makes you feel alive, was there's only ones and was in the universe. Everything grows or dies and everything else contributes or delimited by evolution of nothing else. The imperative for you and I is to understand the growth. It is always easy He them rarely makes you grow person doing
no failure, as long as you learn something cause that learning least of growth that growth leads to something where you can build something create something or give something to yourself. Others, your family, or to have some meaningful? So where are you not growing that you can make some progress on this week one thing: your body is it. Your relationship is levelled happiness, bats, Grove justifying happiness or joy or meaning in difficult situations, though, types of progress is we'll leave to an extraordinary quality of life so doing all they grow. One way. You know, you're going on things that used to be big scene will deal one we growing as one trying catastrophes can be shrunk back quickly, hey. I can handle this and then still expecting the joy last forever, just no life, progress. Baby growth is everything. Growth will give more to give you give more you'll love more your love yourself. You love your wife he'll be a source of generous loves to others.
Happy holidays I'll, be with you next week. You're about to hear again from Sedgemoor king, the retired: U S Army master sergeant, who experienced first hand the physical and psychological impact of war, but he's also experienced tremendous growth due to a shift he made in his mindset here, Cedric, as he describes his reaction. News that his legs had been amputated. You wanna tell by tears. Oh, my goodness, I'm not acquire but I saw we each because I found what was the point was the point of starting all over again trying to figure out how to live life again with no. That was the point there was moment. Why wish I just died out on the battlefield looking at the bridge hey. It seems so hard, it's like it's been easy if that were the into the book, but now that was just the end of a chapter. You
I gotta start all over again: no news story without legs. How am I gonna do that? future can look so intimidating when you, Who did everything It is gone now, the way to do things. Yes, what is not the way to do things anymore? now in a wheelchair, with prosthetic legs, Cedric had to experience life in a totally different way daily tasks. That used to be simple almost thoughtless, were now major challenges. Things like taking a shower eating and getting out of bed. You initially urges into a terrible space. You find out that everything's different You fall in love with the way things were. You know, because the way things were manageable. I can control the way things were. I can't control things now and because of out of control and I don't have a say so any more times I could be many intimidate, pre daunting
Many people can relate to this feeling of needing to be in control. This stems from one of our basic needs as human beings. Something Tony calls certainty is our desire to feel safe, secure protected. If you let certainty rule your life, your life has to stay the same, a nearly impossible expectation to fulfil after losing his legs, such lost control of most everything he could control how he was feeling or his pain. You can control his progress. You can control when he ate or when he called his mom and the phone and hostile because he advantages on his hands, but after a while Cedric realized, there was one thing he could control. I will tell you right now: I just saw in pain but the pain, and their despair, was also a thing that help me find out. That attitude recently thing that really needed when I needed help to do We single everything in my life again, I didn't have controls of anything except for my head
I could always control my attitude. I concur. And what seasoning they're gonna put on broccoli control. How much aren't you say we're gonna bring. I went to gain a razor. Only one, the yellow, sometimes through cocktails and towns jealous and had had any fruit in it at all. I control anything for the way that I responded and to merely over the last six years. I found that testing. Anything I really need to control over anyway Anything that really matter. If you gotta give me RO already how much seasoning it won't matter. Gimme, control of the attitude and I'll change Nothing else. This shift in mindset was life changing for Cedric and in the midst of everything he realized something else that was very important despite his pain and how unfair it was to have his life completely changed. He couldn't continue to live in a state of self pity because he had people in his life that were counting on him, people that he law
are. The recovery was I to be a husband and adapt again sulphur. Me feeling sorry for myself for me thinking that let me just ended. I know I people counting on me at a mom? They expect me to be it son. I had a wife, it may be a husband had kids that were expecting me dad again, and it didn't matter that I didn't have legs didn't matter. Still needs to be there. Still. Push me on the swings from the wheelchair still lift me up from the wheelchair. That's not gone to be something that they cut me like on my wife's. Like look. I still getting up, try is due in a wheelchair. I feel sorry for you just because this happened to happy, and that was why the greatest gift. She doesn't know it to this day. But that's when a grace, if she could have given me, there's nothing sovereign He didn't allow me to adopt a new identity
repressed on in his recovery. It took on new physical challenges that he had never before even considered when he had both of his legs less than two years after his accident, he completed the Boston Marathon running on prosthetic leads. You also went on to compete in the seventy point: three mile, half irony in traffic on the New York City Marathon and a free point, six miles dizzy Marathon series. These challenges, while physically daunting, helped him strength in his mind his determination to grow and renewed his hunger to succeed throughout his Recovery Cedric also built an incredible community of people around him. People that wanted to see him when, as life was coming back for me, to be able to trust, I knew that the circumstances were going to be on my site now. I know that the people were going to be alright everybody that I came in contact with. I knew that they were going to be a part of my recovery or they were come along the talisman, sort of assistance to my recovery. I trusted that every by there was gonna come on. My pathway was own team, Cedric,
the short form, a story but its fruit and tackle the challenges to be afraid of and people better. They are helping to tackle it some time become Europe as allies. Your most favoured friends right there in the midst of tragic, happily chemo tackled it accurate, and I promise you the people that are gonna help you tackled. They can be friends for life, maybe maybe they chemo, or maybe the leukemia or maybe the diagnosis or maybe the bankruptcy allows you to see the friends that be your allies for the rest of your life in the end, despite excruciating circumstances and pain of losing his legs, Cedric wouldn't trade it for the world. I tell people as I do it all over again and again and again and again and again, because now my mind's is far more valuable than to its legs. The mindset that have now give me their minds it take the lead. You can keep I'll keep the miser, keep the arms keep
the other parts of my and keep on that you mean the mindset I got on it. I I'll take it and make it work for me. If those guys in Afghanistan it put the bomb in the ground if their listening, thank you you you my life so much better, I'm not saying. Thank you because I won't deliver life no legs, but thank you for allowing me to see all the friendships that you gave me you for allowing me to see all the opportunities came my way because all I had to do was over My own mindset, come my own negative thinking here, listening to the force for good season in the tunnel Evans Podcast to learn more about the ten. If that were featuring, this holiday season, including emotion, drive, growth, joy, gratitude, connection, consciousness, grace presence and forgiveness. Please visit
We d be w dot. Tony robins dot com, slash gifts, gee, I f p s and to find honey, runs products and events that can help you identify your gives, go to Tony Robinson com, slash shop as each Opie. The only thing that makes you out for use progress, progress equals happiness, nothing else. No money will do it, no matter how many people love you too many strawberries, you get the matter. You know my progress, you all happy because we are made to glow and weak,
We are somewhat given. We give real meaningful life, I mean just about ourselves, not about just being happy happiness. Is the mine pleasures in the body, joys and experience all enjoy comes from serving something more than yourself. Looking back to the forest forget season of attire out his pack asked in this episode in particular at the gift of grab. You just heard tunnel share his thoughts on grass and why it so important when we grow, we have something to give and when we gave we haven't meaningful life, our next areas from Richie Hearken, an australian entrepreneur who found his meaning and his purpose in the aftermath of a motorcycle accident that nearly took his life. Here's Richie describing accident up ahead on my last. There was like a white station wagon waiting at the brigades from home and building as I've broached in the driver's looking the other way had no lights. On the other end
wrong and he was a very low level threats. What we do is we. Slow down as we approach a threat and we accelerate pasta. And as I went to dry, passed this car, I'm looking at him. He came flying out of the driveway I worked out just if he had to break a just, be able to get around it and rod and breaking the accelerated. I can do anything to close to boss, a clue move, my Bible labyrinth seventeen years. I never had this happened as in shock. He was coming right at me and I just I myself in TAT, hit me and the moment he hit me. I just felt a breaking feeling in my body. I didn't feel any pain many slant on the bright and push my bike skidding into
on the side of, and heading towards me, lightwood lining but lining me I thought I was dead,
My whole life flash in front of me when she was Teeb owned by the car in his motorcycle, leaving him a serious injuries. He had compound fractures and his tibia and fibula shattered knee and his ministers and cartilage were completely destroyed over the next four years, reaching out aid operations on his leg, seven of which failed. He had severe complications from anesthesia that stopped his breathing, leaving him paralyzed. When he woke up. He contracted a golden staff infection that spread to the bone, pushing his progress back even more. The list goes on and on which he was left in a world of pain and spent hundreds of days in the hospital for years he spent over twenty hours a day in bed. You can't walk without a cane, but this isn't a story about riches. Pain is the story of how rich you overcame his trauma.
Is it to grow and to give to others and the decision to give more than he ever thought possible was inspired by one little boy and his father. It gave him an incredible gift at a time when there was no end in sight revolutionary operation, which so amazing faster and Germany gave me where basic to the graft of my knee, and he found a live donors. It was why was driving a car with his mother in Hanover Germany on a sunny day trot came around the corner and the back of a car and the mother was killed instantly very true The gray and the young boy, had severe head injuries, his head hit the dashboard of the car, and he was right the hospital, and I try to save this boy. Unfortunately, he was pronounced brain dead, they couldn't save him,
and my search array mania asked me if I wanted to have a grass of a need transplant operation, and it was now a double because the other part of my knee just my FEMA had collapsed. And I did this operation and later, when I was recovering in my hospital bed, in Germany, I metal heard of seven other people all hook up hearts foundation a boy in his dad. He life, the so many other people his story really touched me an affected me. The only way to communicate to the father was sure letter an anonymous letter to a diner and I didn't want to write a letter, because what are you I let someone who lost everything I thought you know what it was my duty to write a letter. I wrote a letter and I sent a letter. I can never
you pay him or his son. What is done for me, but she could never repay the boys, father or the boy, but what he could do was honour him prior to his motorcycle accident, which he had volunteered in Kenya having to expand boarding house for young girls in a mess. I community has expired their opened his eyes to the reality of child labour and intergenerational poverty in the developing world, Richie committed himself to assisting when he could, but it was the experience of receiving the life changing gifts from this young boy. In his father there was the true catalyst of committing his own life deserving others. It was this life changing gift that created his purpose driven mission. I wanted to build a school in his sons honour so that all these kids It makes our lives and some spirit live on through these children and I created the HAWK Angel Foundation, which is dead, to this young boy where our goal is to build one
schools in poorest place in the world where the well this forgotten, where, if it child is not in school. They start from nine years old and a lot of hot the? Well, Education is not a right for children, they gotta work, socks, families, I love them. There strangely Paul and I need them to work. We decided that we would start Solomon is to build schools in the poorest placed in the world, and we empower communities and children to change our lives for education, Richie primarily, in Kenya and Myanmar, both extremely poor countries, where access to basic services like health care, education, clean water and sanitation is a luxury from from the population. Some ice amazing spirits in the well he's too, unlike in the western world, nothing in their lives is no electricity. Tsar running water. There's no toilets showers
but they're so amazing, happy humble, wasteful and kind, and more than anything, realize that education is a privilege and it's a key to them right, a future in their lives as part of the services provided by heart angel reaching also sponsors I that he meets along his journey. That are an extraordinarily bad circumstances. Listen as he tells the story of a girl named Lucy that he met in Kenya, when I met Lucy she was eleven years old at the time and a father couldn't afford to keep up family survival a year before I met a he saw but to be married to an older man for a cow Lucy, like mostly girls in this village were exposed to female genital mutilation. As Jean Lucy had the motion, firstly in the well that I've ever met, which Tommy or in the way that she lived being School was impossible and
By so much adversely it was an attitude to life, a really affected me. Now she was the most happy person and positive she wouldn't well on a negative image. Is me away? and you know what Lucy the world needs. No story. I had a camera. I thought- and I made a doctor ensuring that followed Lucy for a whole day, started in the morning. She washed five, I M in a bucket, she would take of her brothers and sisters. I day she would collect firewood day. She would, make and sell jewellery for the family survival. She would take care of her father had previously saw her. She would one and a half hours to school. Each way with her, others and assistance and then she would make food for her family after dinner. At ten thirty, I was exhausted, I couldn't would sit there. She would sit there, and she would do our homework
I was a dream of our life, despite all odds and thanks to hark angels, support and sponsorship. Lucy have made it a high school These children are amazing, young kids, but closer Is it really poor? There's a lot of drought is not a hardship in their lives, these kids, what three months the year minimum on a farm twelve to fifteen hours a day. And their whole dream of their lives is to be school is to have that opportunity. Have a chance in life. You give any these children the smallest opportunity in the well. They take that and they companion and ages will make them their life and the as part of all these children is what do they want to do with what you ve gone and they all want to help. They all want to get back they realise that school their opportunity to change your life or the full shrank back in their parents cycle of poverty. Now that concern about truth, freedom,
the day you s family and they struggle earnings, we build a school for these people. Start, a relationship over where we put less than that will be with him along this giant. Did they get their primary? will they got a middle school? They get their medical, then go to high school, they had high school and they get university for free and they can actually make twenty five the thirty times more money than one person. And what are they all want to do is come back and by their parents house and take care of their families. Richie takes two trips ear to build schools and brings thirty volunteers with him so far. They built eight schools and have a goal of one hundred. He and his become like family with these communities. They also partner with other organisations to bring resources into the area. We they are teamed up with amazing organization called Box for life where we bring in five hundred bicycles weapon my broken bicycles and show that fixed than they send them over the kids, where we, the primary school and I can't get a middle school books,
It's too far away. Now they don't drop out of school at primary school. They come right through a minuscule I've kind. Up with another woman, she worthless Galactic Society in America and she's, bring libraries and every single school. My community, another charity, which is giving computer loved, so we try to be there for the whole community. They become like family. Today, riches humbled for his accident he's grateful for it because it helps him grow. Tremendously and find the resilience not only in himself but in the people in the community's. He said serves in Kenya, and Myanmar is actually come up with a term for it, something he calls return on resilience. Resilience is about bouncing back in life, but a return or resilience is actually about finding an opportunity in bad that happened to finding an opportunity, bad things that happen to all of us. Cassio thing, that's for sure, and life is the unexpected oppression.
Anxiety, we're all gonna, go to soften luck. We lose them Once so, unexpectedly, we live in a state of suffering. You best friend gets diagnosed with cancer. Ah jobs a fine positive meaning in every single thing that happens to us, whether it's good or bad and the best whether we can make or create a Emily is by inspiring other people for our resilience. I'm a businessman so when I do business Teresa. What's my return? Oh my investment. What cash transactions my investment tunnel resilience? She said what is opportunity. What can we take out of our experiences? What is something good? Bearing and pull out of something bad in the same way that we make money for a rainy day, we can bank resilience for a time when really needed in our lives second, our lives can change forever. I think that we all experience is not lost. When we feel like our lives guy in one direction and banged unexpected occurs for me, was my accident.
My question every single thing in my life, including my powders, and to spend my time on things really passionate about in my life, and it was my purpose, it became clear aftermath Excellent Tony says it so beautifully living is giving and from most people I feel like. We all have this purpose, a cheat happiness in our lives. A my purpose is to help other people achieve a happen When you see a child who has nothing in their lives and is down in that, and you can see the goodness that you'd doing for them and you can see them, grow in their lives. There is none, That will make you more happy in your life as a matter small, it is by someone groceries, hope, a homeless person get him a coffee fallow day. It was small thing open all. Facing cross the road you are changing and well we all had the power within us to change the world. The tenor of this package is directed by Tony Robins produced.
Between Arabas editorial team, with audio editing and sound design by Germans. Today's first guest with Cedric King, We veteran, who, along with other vets, shares this incredible lessons with audiences across the country you're an organization he founded called the Pentagon Federal Credit Union Speakers Bureau, just ass. He led and motivated men and women in combat. He now leave and motivates others to see the possibilities in their own lives to learn more visit, Hen FED Foundation. Speakers Dotcom, that's pen, FED foundation. Speakers dotcom. Our second guess was rich. You welcome the founder of hark Angel Foundation. A nonprofit with the mission of building one hundred schools and impoverished communities in developing countries have all, along with his journey, find him on Instagram by searching Hark angel or visit W W W dot Hark Angel dock work. That's W w.
You got a J r k and g owl dot. Org.
Transcript generated on 2020-04-03.