« Uncle Joey's Joint

#140 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

2022-02-21 | 🔗

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY’S JOINT.....

It’s Monday, February 16th....

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Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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check one two It's Monday, the twenty First in February. is moving quickly on a daily basis, but we're here for another.
Filled up pursuit of want. Do fucking Joey's joint first off. Thank you for the birthday wishes It was a lot of fun birthday this year like when you don't expect something and shit happens. It's a good fucking birthday. It's not a little bit. I told my wife that my mom used to always take these pictures of me on my birthday every fucking year from the time I was you know two years old walking in a bar like when I was too obviously she can. Read me in and I'm in my had those albums. Those hours went from two to team the last year, I did my birthday body and the only thing that those out it had was that every year on my birthday that was fucking snow on the ground. I told my wife, the single every year on my birthday, you can guarantee this non IRAN we woke up. Saturday morning my wife goes up you're fucked up. No go, give it a couple, I wasn't sure enough, like at ten o
it was snowing like like just How do you do for a couple? Minutes had just went away, but they said it was, we were going to get hit with something I forget. What The fund should whatever the fuck it is, I'm not a weatherman. They said we're going to hit us with some fucking hours. No that was it. We went to my door, This friend, that a basketball game through one went over there with a bunch of parents and hung out I walked out of the basketball game. It was fuckin sunny as fuck tip top Magoo Cold as fuck, but still sunny out. I came home. We were going to go out to dinner with her to drop my daughter off at a party. Let me tell you something my wife talk to me about something I was downstairs. I went upstairs like what the fuck happened to the sun and I looked out the back door. And guys. It look like fucking Colorado out that it look like Fucking Colorado. Now I had plans. We had birthday reservations at a. I couldn't get any restaurant, I couldn't
at any reservations anywhere and I wanted to go somewhere. I wanted to branch out to Red Bank or fucking long branch of Fuckin now New Brunswick, but every rest your I called had. I deem airily six o clock five derived together away. I'll be there at eight cuz, if we get there at eight the people, back down at six are enjoying themselves. They don't want to get up. Now. Now you're standing in the restaurant waiting my hate, all that should I wait, and so I always get. five hundred six thirty six table. I call like ten. Chicken places and every place was packed up so me and my wife go, I wouldn't want to go out meet again. I mean that fucking live in El Nido. You know I haven't been there in a month, I'm in the whole month of January and February. It's crazy been there since December, so we picked last to read. They said we'll take it,
but I told my wife. I will listen. What we'll do we'll go to the Astoria, but if it's a nice day, what are we gonna do with the kid now she was fucking at a sleepover party up the corner, another lunatic girls, in fact, They would ask Sunday the like four in the afternoon with the mothers having brunch only. FUCK, a new jersey, I went over there just to bring my wife something there was twenty open parents over there that donuts Mimosas Bloody Marys I can up in Jersey, so I was going right up north, maybe go to stop at Rudy's or something maybe get something cuban you know whenever after dinner. We live in a bold and we're home like fucking old people. I lay the do something maybe go for a walk after would see the New York skyline. Once I saw the snow, she went out the falcon window. I said fuck it. which is Galway, Astoria, Adam Abbe, I went there to do the fuckin chef was like. Listen this
tonight, I, like my god they have such great I am full of it, so we shall I we rushed round. This area is very a good but different that's what I really like about. You know. I got a nice little salad when I get for an appetizer Now I wasn't much because I told my wife I don't have an appetite like I used to know: Megan Smoke, eighty joints and my apathy. Isn't what I used to for me to get an appetite. I got to eat a couple, a bee axes and that's what I I am held three eight be axes two hundred Milligrams mother fucker, that's my birthday jack. I'm gonna cut it up, at least a little bit. I'm close also you'll. Let me eat three four and a be xs. So what I open up with that's terrible- and I can't tell you what I opened up and opened up the tuscan salad with no fuckin cherry, dried cherries and exit from
Was that Motherfuker? You know I'll go Joey loves his jersey tomatoes and then I switched it up. I had the short rib fucking tremendous with mashed potatoes. I got to tell you something: the mashed potatoes tastes like fucking happen, they tasted like fucking fuckin that you eat it. Just one in your mouth like snow, you have snow and it goes in your mouth and melts. Oh, my god, it was fucking delicious for the. add some fruit with some cream. The nightstand lights. When I walk, nothing in going to dinner, walking out there like you're fucking pregnant? You can't shit, fuckin braided busy for All that I wanted to keep it light. I ap the short rib, half the mashed potatoes guess what else I did. Last night for my fifty birthday, I had a fucking, the key lad margarita shoes, but an uncle joy at my supper, little jalapeno, margarita
my asshole was on fire on the Lord's that I could even everytime. I thought. Oh Lord, gotta, my ass, all the please Have mercy on my asshole Holub Real fucking Margarita destroyed me, but it was perfect. On the way out, the one kids! Listen, I wanna by your shop for your birthday, a cuban dude. I said got cocksucker, through, threw me a shot of lemon jello, whatever the fuck lemon cello out, I don't fucking so Joy Joey was in pop inform form last night, but eight birthday song again you for the well wishes. It was great. I had a great time at the house. Listen like I thought mother fucker that move back here to go to the office before I just move back here. Abnormal fucking life my dad was in this week? Tremendous. I tell you what, though, I'm not fly again. Today they removed the fucking the back I got to be honest with you through the app, you're, not gonna. Get me to put a mask on area. Don't give a fuck. I think what
Is that excuse me, sir? Put your mask on and they winked at me. It was Jersey, for shit. I walked right through We said nothing to me. You know I got to the fucking play. I got to be honest with you guys. I understand why people a fucking beating get out of each other and yeah. I get it. If I suddenly the right good toy remarks about in the last couple of months. Please forgive may you know me the bigger the man, the bigger the fucking mistake, limitations those stewardesses on that fucking playing got on my last nerve because they stop with the, put on the mass now you know me I'm on business to get off, get banned off a blame. You know, I don't want to fly but I'm also not looking to not being able to fly. It's a big fucking difference. Okay, it's you mean I get your car for a fuckin month, but when you How got a dui you can't get in your fucking car for a month. That's sucks, you can't do something. That's when you're all of sudden want to fucking. Do it that's when people be
and you from all over the world for the exotic jobs and you're like well, I can't fly united because I fucking cold. stories to go? Fuck yourself guys, you know me, I'm a gentleman. I would never disrespect the student a stewardess, I'm sorry, your student. I would never disrespect the store Jesus Christ didn't say anything to me. I don't give them the ammunition that, come over to me and say, Sir put on your mask. This is a warning. I was on. A flight were they gave him warnings to people for no reason they tell you and then here's the fucking thing that pissed me off. Okay, we got to the mask. I understand now, let's say gin and tonic again, I don't drink on Polyxena fucking complaint. But if I did I'm sticking but a gin and tonic. Don't give you know cause TAT tells at take off now I'm not allow key, but I feel for you I'm a fucking parted! I understand you know,
the plane. I understand how the mind of the drink or works and I wish I had it- I'm not putting you down or anything, there's nothing more, there's nothing prettier, I did not know, makes me more envious of somebody when they order seventy seven, a coke jack on the rocks or whatever I do not judge I enjoy watching you get that drink, but the napkin down, put it down, look at it and go and you could see their whole body just come to a fucking rest. I envy you I wish I could do that. I wish I'd come home at night, take off my fucking shoes and a fucking. Seventy seven would take away all my problems. I wish I fuckin. When I was a kid. I grew up on watching people do that you sought from the aid the 14th to fucking twenty. On my. I can't wait to have a with somebody like Sinatra and you know just hanging
talk shit and look so fucking appealing to me, but I can't even do that anymore. People, my everyone thought and drinking have to wait the up and he had a drink and then I'll. Tell you on the loudspeaker at eighty fucking times in three hours, if I didn't hear it three hours. If I didn't hear it, twenty five each point. I'm fucking lying to you people, Why you reading my God, I ate breakfast on the way out, but I didn't eat anything on the way back it just look like it was. The first time food scared, the shit out of me, the girl. Next time you got that chicken with the yellow rice it smelled so bad. look so bad that somebody's foot, a magician, is missing a fucking dove somewhere right now he's wanted sides. Have you seen my dove? That was a fucking, that poor lady was eating. It was like a chicken breast done no I try to keep it simple. I don't eat eggs on a plane. They'll give you
welcome headache those powdered eggs, No fucking kill you those thinks of yellow the GMO. but they keep saying to you. Between bites you to put up your mask, between drinks. You have to put up your mask, keep saying it to you, while you're reading remember FAA rules you got to. and put on a mass apple of thought and, fifth time guys you feel like banging, you're fuckin, head off to war, and then she would it's which is our job again, I'm not saying nothing bad about it, but your job that was your job. That's what that making you do. Listen go around the cabin and tell people fucking to blood. comes on their eyes, you, gotta have a mask up in between your sips, that is the most fucking ridiculous thing. I've ever heard especially when there's what a thousand cases in the hospital, the New Jersey right now
in case. That's it it's over and would mentally ill like you could tell people a fucking over and that's why for money I've been baffled. What is all the fucking drama on these planes? The fucking stewardesses drive you crazy and again This was me fifteen years ago. I would have fucking snapped on that plan. After the eighth, you got but your mask up in between meals. I want you to listen to what you just said to me. I want you to think about what you just said to me. So I pick up by that fucking rotten chicken. You give me I got to put my fork down while I chew and pick my fucking mask up, and then, when I'm ready, oh by the way. let's say that dried chicken get stuck in my throat I my mask down again and get a fucking water and drink that and when I put that watered down. I gotta put that mask up now and ten fucking seconds. I gotta pull that mask up to get another bite. The chicken is not going to happen. You might as well throw me off the plane right now. I hope you got some fucking packed.
Shoot. I'm diving out right now, but St Louis. That's how easy it is, and I get it so I'm not flying again till they fuck take away the mask thing: that's it that is it that mass three and what about the people? from California, L, a California, I'm sorry to can airport that's six hours and thirty one minutes what a fucking mask sit night plain waiting to go down cos. What makes you want to fucking kill yourself more than having a mask on a plane and you're, also waiting when you can't wait for this fucking plane time, Soon, as I get a plane, I go what how much time to play actually really tell. You It says we're gonna land and fuckin, three dirty and they'll. His flight is two hours and twenty one minutes and you're like where the fuck do. I see three, three thirty that that that spells me out at two thirty. So what the fuck are. You thought
about about three thirty in the afternoon that was giving the next time in case to get bored stuck on the fucking. fuck, you call a time MAC or on the way, and the guy that pick me up to you, but dude was telling me cuz. I'm I gotta be icy, you're very lucky to be in and out of here as as you are. I go on those usually if you flying in United Land Newark, it's an hour, wait for your luggage and I was like well. You know we're gonna get flying a fucking breathe it- was nice to see Joe. I did the whole. in flight in one day, so I took the four hours down, three hours of chit chat with him and then the four hour flight back, I don't have to How my back feels from my fuckin lower back. To my asshole. Everything is back and saw. I was fuckin sore. I took that plane on Wednesday Thursday. I felt good Friday.
I was walking around like the fucking tin man from the wizard of OZ, everything was so saw, my hamstring, my fucking knees. I mean is all fucking saw. So I don't. I don't Batman flying anybody. Flights on one fucking. They may be like together. welcome to San Francisco to Vegas or Burbank The vague is something I recommend those flight, but flop I have been longer than an hour and I did one from California last year you might fuck this forget. I took a six got the got the California eleven and then got back and a plan of seven at night. That one was no trip to the fucking was horrible born. I was doing my thing back then Drawing on my our one stop beaten. That was He got awful. So if you the fly Think about it. That's all I want to tell you us. That's a fucking rough goddamn. ask, but Seein jail was great.
Barbecue and asked his fucking off the hook. I think where we went after we did the podcast. I went down there with mercy Godfather. It was it run. I got him out of Jersey for the fucking day. He only has wednesdays off, so I come on you come in with me and I ask them on the way home where we going next Wednesday Chicago I mean want the fuck we going somewhere. I like that, just gone away on wednesdays. For today, maybe going to Chicago to one hour flight New Jersey, landing. You know, boy getting stabbed in Chicago walk around get a hot beef sandwich, maybe go swimming with Bible lingers and Ok, that's it speaking of Bauble Lingus. I want to thank for sending me the best birthday press, I got this year check this out. It's an all. School double! Oh seven knife had enough. If you heard me talk about this mother fucker, many of times this this fucking knife is a
the collector's edition, as as our glee at his plan is this looks you can't see it in here, but in the grip It says like Rocco. Double all seven in this grip right, this It's gotta be fifty years old if the fucking years old this is I bought a third grade, I least to see this knife all the time being. advertise in magazines and shit. Like enough is enough stab mother fucker. Now that I'm in a third grade I got earn my bones: to a nice shop and like a hundred and fifty and Broadway, and I think it was ten walks back then nine. Ninety nine. I bought the fucking knife ready to stab a motherfucker, I'm walking down Broadway. my little. What what? What with the you talked to say, get Us Tabby Ass, well,
there was? You brought this home and you put like you like the w forty and ass to be slippery, and then you put the be a forty. Eight is like a week. You had greasy and every time you think the w in the night pop flatly hands is shit. You're late, Darlin pick my neighbour from the floor, but then it's nice? It's not a switchblade. So you They got to open a little bingo. What the fuck you talking about caught sucker, you somebody's give us eels all old movies in New York in the seventies, they always have. Fucking knife and I want the by so I actually boy I was walking around with this mother. For a week I had This mollify like that's, that to go to cat now that I used to go up to my godmothers on the weekends I had that holiday, we got that April. You had the look Easter week are, and I want dad. I bought this. I told my mom Staying stand on my godmothers all week shift like
don't sound right. This mother fucker will come to the bar and were met me not that weak the round Harlem Flash and they said mother Fucker- is what bitch I'll go the movie theater. What do you mean as Bt Turkey, Really this motherfucker they mom in those days my mom used to do so. get tax on me with them made, she would take a cab from maybe a street. What game one hundred and forty eight street and I'd be on ST my buddies, throwing rocks chasing some fucking bomb or whatever, and she got out of cabin say horse Antonio, come in, and I'd have to walk. My mom and have to wipe my face ass. She go look at the fucking shape yet woody. If your pants are ripped, you look like a fucking. What was call me my battle that meeting about killing dogs or they get in Fucking house and she would chase. My godmother's house and
Let me in front of my godmother, my godmother go. What the fuck is. He doing he's just playing he's a little boy. Let him fucking play get there he's not the boss be clean in a three piece: fucking suit: My mom would go fuck that and why and my godmother was talking to me- I'd- be in the shower and then when I not my mother would already be there with a new set of fucking clothes. She go. The coroner like one, those fuckin boys, as things that she gave like a new pair of white shorts. A t shirt brands his sneakers she got you gotta put this on you gotta, look clean. can have you on the street looking fucking dirty and I put on this after the fag suits you have wholesale sail shirt to shit and as soon as she got in a cab. My godmother will look at me and I go take this but the sailors shut off me these kids or beat me up. I peer for this is what you wear on the lowest streets on the if west side, you can't wear this fucking, I Josie to allow them to beach up a fucking sure I caught a couple of fucking beans up. There is a kid,
like three or four four can be just doing the same with shit. But once I at that night. Nobody was fucking with Uncle Joey Jack. So my mother, fuckin drop the fuckin balmy Us Antonio come in, so I was cool, add carpenter. and that's why you were carpet pants in those days to put the knife on your side, pocket shit and nobody could doubt and if somebody Then you won't be a little double seven like what cock sucker but my mother goes she's searching my pockets and how much money you got on it couple dollars. Lawson she went they my pocket and she felt that fucking knife dog and it was over. She took that knife out of my pocket. If she's like what flock fuck. Is this: like my it's like a science project, like science project by as that of fucking nice get a flop, the godmothers house, and we got them
Godmother's house. My godmother try to protect me but, like she couldn't defend the knife. He spoke in eight wisely, got a knife. No, I a boy it needs a knife to cut twigs and shit, but that's a that's all We kill somebody either kill somebody with that knife. We're going fucking for and come self, so my mom fucking took the knife from me. I was pissed, I had to say that money and waited a year to talk myself into going into a store and buying like a knife- and she put me in catholic School that life- is the reason why I'm a fucking catholic fucking Prude, because this motherfucker got me in so much trouble but how is one another one and I never got a chance to do it by the time I realized what going on. I didn't really want to carry a knife, but the day I up a bottom will help. it's Bob Lingus and I see this knife and took a little it took a little- wind out of my sails like that was the.
That. Was the original fucking been up before blow. This is my fucking weakness I love knives and stars and shit, I would buy the fucking on sharpie Oh that sucks, because you Dick was, I you like I'm ready to go fucking, fuckin started. Somebody Oh my god. No they when I to get- them to a hardware store and the goblin have to put a man like a fuckin thing and then fucking sharp that he would ask you. What are you going to do with this? I dunno I dunno I'm going to fuck. kill frogs, not just on a human beings, so he gave it a three stage you out their weapon amid a homeless people. Z shit. What a shame It's such a shitty, fucking childhood. It's funny that we brought up action park
I'm Rogan me a day and it's funny that he had never seen a week when I got there were outside talking and I think somebody said a man you're from Jersey. How far were you from action part? So I start stories on Robin's bodies, Joe Hard the story. You stop it. We are talking about. the pilot, guess what the fine we forgot. What have they we're saying about action park. If you haven't watch that do you saw it right MIKE when it first came out and think you're, the one that told me about it, which action blog. You know I said that bothers me, a lot that my daughter is not to have the same child. I had now look at My daughter, I don't want my daughter in people in the light, bulb, pin people in the head with Bulbs thought them whenever there is a thousand things at once, my daughter she's, a little girl.
In the last two nights ago, we went to eat at the Astoria, a mom came in and, Sat next to us and she's like I don't I don't want to embarrass you, but my son the big fan. You know how much started Talkin. But she was very nice very attractive. Mom Jersey city and I go. You know what made you move down here and she goes listen. when you're in Jersey City, it's great for kids, it's great. Was great for me to grow up that she goes you come here to the street. You become very street smart. You see it coming she when I move my children, down here. She was always want to my children to be streets mark, but she What's the streets today is little different, so when they were about eight, I moved them down. to Central New Jersey and she goes yeah. We give up a little bit almost
street Smart better they grow up better. They grow up. Europe headed from that streets, my shit, but the quiet, the growing up is better there always busy. They don't have to fight. can get on with our internal they'll have to get up if unconstrained to go have fun. You know growing up, but there you know the city is a stone dropped from me So it's very hard for me to tell my son MIKE go to the city, after awhile you're going to go fuck, you there's something over there and I'm not saying that. My daughter is not going to get on a fucking bus. and go to the city right from the corner here on route nine they got busted take every ten minutes into the city and the other it's, a jersey. So don't expect me one the pulling my fucking fuckin out, because my told me was going to go to museum in long branch and again to a Cynthia said he, you know what every kid does that and if I get
pissed off at her for that, I'm being a fucking hypocrite, because every kid does that you're fucking yet there are five minutes away from the american metropolis remember. if New York catches a cold, the rest of the country fucking, sneezes. It's just that fucking simple ass the way it's always fucking meant. So it's tough to talk a kid out of What wanted fuck me New York and jumping up and down and get fucking stabbed to death. So this is my thing. This is why I always thought I always thought that they had those places Like action Park and then another place. I used to go to the Tuxedo New York there, was the quarry that was like five or six places that we had in the either New Jersey, New York area that you. well the calm when one of your friends Eight hundred seventeen
father grandfather game that station wagon they had did the family edition the Country Edition years ago Chrysler Dodge Dodge, sold the the minivan. but they had a minivan that was called the country. Whatever package got the extra seat. That's got a condition in the back. You know It like we were kids, you had no fucking air in the back, so weekend, I kid died New Jersey from being the fucking in third row seat back that it was though, and that poor kids like they're yelling, help help I can't fucking breathe. It gives them car, they don't give a fuck they're like what's wrong. your brother, I can't breathe fuck him well over here. Playing tat. Thou listen attentively, see I'm not in love, so dumb, forget. So if you were in the back seat every two weeks, Kid died when I was growing up. Kids died, of them time. Think about it.
my my god, kids died all the fucking time. When the food aid. I like lie to you guys and tell you I was going to action park when I was eight I went to action plan. We were kids in the northern, the Jersey area I fuckin play our go good to place was, palisade Falcon amusement Park get to go I will say I had picture. He had it somewhere is that palisade amusement park, Palisade amusement park was was in Fort Lee Cliffside up there and it was by the right what people easy more was in all those restaurant. I talk about. And it had a pool Was a real wave pool alright. If I close my eyes, the only back to remember from Palisades Amusement Park is how fucking good that be If ice cream cone was holy shit,
holyshit, the mill ice cream cone Palisade amusement park: what fucking, sure men, the understand me- and I remember the- poor shit and then that closed I was like six Palace Amusement Park, close down there That's the first time we got zapped by fucking politicians, does it get with even know it positive musement, bugger clothes close that building condos, I'm sorry to interrupt. the joint is sponsored by better help line therapy. This relationship stake work. A lot of us will drop any thing to go. Somebody we care about go out of our way to treat somebody else well, but how often do we give ourselves the same treatment. I invest in myself every Monday morning with my therapy, want better help. Online therapy wants or remind to take care of your most important relationship. the one you have with yourself. I can't if the gains I've made
Since I've been working with data but I'll that God, My Stewart anxiety free. Is great. Talking to that person that outside the loop every day every week, whether it's hitting the gym making time for your haircut or even trying therapy. you are your greatest asset, always remember that so invested time and a half Cindy is so like you doing other people at our position, why their bit off as videophone and even live lives add sessions with your therapist So you have to see anyone on cam. If you don't want it, more affordable than in person, and you be matched up with a therapist in forty eight hours. That's it give it a try. I can see why over two million people have you it's better help. Online therapy included you're wrong, Joey now the joint EU sponsored by but out and list.
get ten percent off deaths first month at, but our dot com, Slash Diaz as the icy that but I this last d, as b e t t r s elbow, Dot com, de as that, better out. Okay, yourself and now back to the joint. The only reason why I didn't get mad at those condos- this is Jackie Gleason. Years later, so whenever you drove by you and that's an Palisades amusement park used to be those motherfuckers put up, jabbered, Jackie Gleason lives in those mother, fucker some you can A game of fact impasse and then it was a fine, six flags in Jackson, New Jersey, I didn't really go to six flags the loud, maybe seventy I came down here but When I was eleven. when I didn't live at home those years when I was like in the sixth grade- and I was
to be my house. As ever spirits in my house, I live with a family, the Torres family, the bookmaking families, would they youngest Son I was a kid. You guys got hostels commoner you from all over. You can never say nothing bad abundant with joy. They then also because it was in my fuckin blood when I, was in the sixth grade. I had a scam going on that. I know and talked about, I didn't fucking me remember till I moved back to Jersey, the area where I moved into was a big scam area for stolen shit. This time the fuckin flea market, an english town with a fucking cars used to race, the the fucking car races all that shit. We grew up on it. I used to come down here, like in the sixth grade, to buy stolen sneakers the Englishtown auction. I used to get limousines for the feet which account or sneakers Julius Irving sneakers.
data ones and only come in one fucking cut their eyes make the star on the side the converse smack and whoop. This was the fucking neighbour, The come endless town, New Jersey right by Fuckin Brooklyn, south that pizza joint where they make upside down, fucking Sicilian. and this across the nearest Englishtown Fucking Mall. But we go in there, but there was another place down here that we used to fucking go to Please come down here with Jose Torres. Why have we base this AIR Force Base Danny in its next the town next to Jackson, or it could be Jackson. You correct me on Twitter. If you notice, but he had a scam going on and he would buy cigarettes and that want axed taxed. You could save my five bucks in the seventies
like Wanna Delaware, so I started taking orders at my mother's bar and on Sundays. I would go down with him and I would to go in and do is cigarette shopping and then I'll go. Let me borrow your pass, why I want to go in and buy something I will fucking go in there and get ten cases. Cigarettes myself didn't give a fuck. How old didn't ask you for did I get like fifteen cases. Ten cases, five dollar profit Seventy five bucks on a fucking saturday- and he didn't even know it- I get on the we used to take the bus down. There was like a city bus that took it down from Fucking Mcguire, was base and back and then be the sixth grade Mayor House Torres. Sad these than me or men fry Basel on Sundays, came down here and we'll get the FUCK They have always been a fuckin savage like that, but when I, we have to look back in every flock and weaken these motherfuckers went somewhere.
they will be go girl like there was a place. Tuxedo New York the goal and. I'll, never forget one time. I went that I was fucking fuckin eyes fuck. I was hanging out with my boy left, equipped The in the beginning, I knew about weed, made it easier for me to smoke. I went with lefty to the city. We went to cop something and we got real how and I up going to this poor tuxedo new york- nobody remembers the name of that pool. Please, Message on twitter or whatever this place is huge MIKE huge. It look like action park, but it was a lot less complicated. It was just a long poor now olympic pool I like today was all Olympic Pool pulled. It was these. Why do other built? It said just built the biggest poor in the world and they, but diving boards all over and shit, and
when you get there as a kid, it's great you, you go up there with a fucking town used to take us up there. First, you know you take a little time with the beginning in the middle and like the amount will give you but for that irish drink is shit and the town will give like a brown bag, county jail lunch and we would go up there day. Mademoiselle was all great, but then, as I started getting older and are used mark a luxury joint. You start smoking, two joints, you start smoking three joints and then you start going up in the fucking pool and going nuts up. I remember dynamical this summer, summer of seventy nine when I was already done with action park- and I had already got my experiences with the quarry and all these the places around New Jersey, the famous that you go to on the weekends. I want to succeed, Tuxedo New York for the car on the way up dog we kept fucking puffing one joint after he is that look like this is more than I had ever smoked in my life. At that tie in my life, I was one of those like MIKE
disabled by nickelback And when I get seven joint and was not one of them and wars six mm for the black Sabbath concert. That's who's gonna oldest ex. I don't trust you Joey well I'll, give you three and you give me three, and then more even and you sharpen the concert night with three little any joint! What the fuck you smoked I'll, never forget that we want up there and we fuck him, but like a nickel bag or something that we smoked every thought and joined their back and then we got up there and it was its human spoken mainly Falcon agrees. and we started playing like tagging two hand, touch football which trying to be fucking cute, went to attach touch football whatever been after the game. Guys I was used to being out. There was no computers in mass, we falcon
rob under the sun with top of welcome kids, then today, but not really, and I want to get at the that they had no standing at them like a little. How, stand, they have become burgers. Hot dogs is shit and I will over there like nothing happened. Got online. You know they happen bars with the nap let you know I like. When you go to airports, to have that ship. To make you walk crooked They already had that seventy nine over there and it was pretty much bars, If, like they like gymnast bars, there were just two bars next to each other, and you walked up. you know so, is now no big fucking deal I was hanging up on the fucking thing. I never that is, is shit. I'm hanging out on this thing waiting to get my soda. This got to be twenty fucking people in front of me and I'll. Never forget that
The Arctic, like the sun, was right on yeah, it's four in the afternoon you're right there, There was ninety agrees. Now is ninety five, the sun, Bernay and I'll. Never forget that something made me touch the railing and I economical it's and then I remember the sun kind of hit me a little bit. Like I heard like birds, I grabbed onto the railing, no matter how hot it was, and my right side when I like just fainted in the sun, and I did one of those If the on the bar and just landed on my back and the dog, I had fucking people people standing around me you'd. I walk. like twenty people, fucking a circle like looking at me and then like Are you? Okay, hey man? Are you? Ok, hey, hey, not cause? I must have a lot burgers Schiller, I'm never forget them falcon.
shaking me shaking me shaking me and me like waken up you're right, sir I'm like yeah, I'm alright and I went to get up and I went to touch my head. Guys. I had a three inch bump. coming out of my head that what I said- and I do you to call an ambulance on my Ambrose manner. you, fucking years why we not for you and I remember walking. It was expensive was without a care call. My mother, and tell I was in a pool up in New York state. Without how fucked fucking permission I was supposed to be down there. at the bizarre those house I was one of those motherfuckers that we're going to the corner while eighty miles away. You know, and I knew she was going to come, calling for me. It was and then we probably going to leave to go to the trial. It to you, know whatever, Never forget them flock and waken me up and go mister, sir. Whenever a kid you fuckin, you ok
wait yeah what happened to like I dunno you passed out and I'm like I passed out and I'm gonna want to get up. I touch my head. There was like like I just spun around and landed on my head, thank God and break my fucking head. Member walking back to my little town with my friend and I'm like what the fuck you bend my man, I fucking fainted we gotta get out of him. I just Christ when it is getting out, but that was I one low lease things that happened to me, but every weekend we will go. A different place and like have said before, no this, backed anybody, one of my dear and they all went swimming and if I can do, make a pack on the quarry web. It was got arrested his soul way down I think I loved him with all my heart. I still remember him: every Sunday and like I said I wish I was telling you was a joke. When I moved here
The first weeks I move, I moved to Jersey August nineteen and I moved into this house September. Second, I like September second, was maybe a Monday or something like that. I think September third he took my daughter around the block black Jimmy Jimmy goes come over. The kids at a nice day, my daughter, had never been out of. I shall never way on the street, and if she did, it was just the two you know now she gets out of it I introduce her to you know Jimmy son, who I love the debt and then there's a bunch of it. it's playing and she gets. She gets into they're playing with a ball and all yet: the Normal Jersey, shit she's never done. I was really happy and away, but I'm a gym goer can come and let them play outside there was worried. I kept check him out to check on a jack. I don't know you know this: an old New Jersey,
Parent thing is new to me, so I'm finally, there out there till six hundred and thirty at night, and then the other mothers come out and ask the kids to go in for dinner and when we got a pizza, Carlos and I brought it to Jimmy's and Luke, and we all ate and I'll never forget that I was ready to take her home and glucose. Now the kids are coming back up. The block had to be seven, At night I had mercy out of the house since three: now in la I would take her out, but for an hour and a half I would never dishonor mother kept texting me Joey. Where are you joy. Dentist setting, I might think, they're eating dinner here. You know that play and we'll get home when we got home she at school next day and I'll, never forget that it was dark out and I go Jimmy. I gotta get this girl out of here she's not used to this shit. I remember walking up to the store
it was my daughter and looking at the Middle street. First of all, Jimmy Street has no light on maybe one light for the whole fucking street, and it's like a mile deep and it's all downhill, I look up and there's every little boy in that neighborhood shopping, cart, they're, all standing around it and there's three, frozen a shopping cart. One of those girls is my fucking daughter, like oh, no and the other girl is really cute. Em she's got well, you know a girl's dress and I had no idea what she had on like Cleopatra shoes, you like the boots that you strap up the sandals. Nothing like that grows on a loser top and I'll, never forget, looking at them go mercy, be careful and then going down the block, it was like an episode little rascals when they stole the fucking car with the meal, and I had a boxing glove next to it. Every time they pull up a light, they would hit the button with a bow in love, what was waiting for the bus we'll get points in the face.
It reminded me of that fucking cart of them one downhill and they were doing, they were fifteen miles an hour and they all scream with his shit and I'm like holy fuck. It all comes back to me now now. This is why I know that It's are so fucked up. That is why kids are behind the eight ball: it's not that kids don't want to have fun or not. Kids aren't athletic or anything like that. It's like they got raised under a different, a different circumstance, kids today are mine, daughter, who's, lying nine as much as I've tried to break this. She runs around with a fucking phone at hand did you make any phone calls out of that funk, not even if she wanted it unless what to do when the Alexander, Graham Bell, she's, not figure out how to make a call out of that fucking phone trust me. She ain't that fucking
but she runs around with a phonograph. I can add, I'm trying to break that habit for them, but that's out kids, the growing up today when my boy goes to a restaurant and we have other kids, we gotta take their phones way and these have headphones not to die numbers that do young tab follows to play games, My daughter can't live without the phone she's not allowed to have it the whole week. Only on weekends. During the fucking, like I told my wife, this has to end with this phone This is why these kids never get the fucking play or live like we did. It's not that parents, a different, it's kids, are different. Kids still come out of a fucking snatch like any other fucking kid kids are born with Iud. Fucking. What's that shit, when you mimic, when you I dunno the shit now? Kids, the saying that they've always meant we just don't push my we did as kids cuz, maybe we'll fucking scan or whatever
but I'll. Never forget her. Going down on that. Fucking me going. holy shit. I just got it when I was. I didn't go out to fucking play like we didn't. play marbles willing didn't go out. The you know We played like PS embody, go get your mother and Buck Bachar shit like that little games replay, but we we'd play we played for keeps we go out to play and jump up and down and scare each other. We went out to die I never thought about that till that fucking night, that's a different the kids today and the three thousand forty years ago when I was out there I told you stories of us, fucking trains. I told you stories of us getting chased by Chinese people will Yang's Chinese Palace and you chinese Palace in the wing phone. These
a dangerous fuckin thing, as I told you about us Fucking Robin a chinese delivery, dude and fucking delivering the chinese food. This is shit. You get shot for. But we didn't give a fuck we didn't go out to be conservative, but not somebody's feelings. It wasn't that we were bad kids, that the focus is underlined the word kids, when a kid suppose to do this supposed I've fun than that supposed to know about the problems of the world that I supposed to know about. Fucking politics, not supposed to know about anything. When I was eight I didn't know about anything, and I didn't want to know about anything I know about, like you know, Damn she Watergate. I knew the is was fucking Nixon, but it's not like. I was at the basketball watch with kids of our political system. We would chase Mr Monti would kill in rats we're running down a flock, and now you know
riverside, drive and fuckin getting into trouble. And that's what It's due. I can't get mad at my daughter. You want me to get mad and mad what kind of, dad. Would I be what kind of what kind of five I hate being a hypocrite one thing about me: is I fucking hate being hypocritical and trust me. Times I find myself there with little things things that matter. know the person you were twenty years ago. Isn't the person you are today the person you were forty years ago. Isn't the person you are today. So that I find yourself in the critical situation, but as dad. I gotta be honest with you she's I can live. What are you going to do? The teacher you fucking, not now! No, I mean It is for her to have a great time That's why I got on that plane. It's why I moved my family from one coast to another, what she's doing What she did yesterday Sunday. She be doing that in California, a fucking and
ten kids, ten girls with ten fucking girls and then make things squawk and worse. Sunday morning, like we had to sleep or we are, we got breakfast for them and we had a cup of tea with no Fuckin party for the adults. When I went over there on a Sunday just to drop it on him and say hello, there was Well, the kids! We hang out with like the little boys that we go to that game. They were that their parents were that they were eating, they were happy. You know, I didn't never had that now. Why and if we had that is because of celebrity was going to be there. Miss Sunday, Laurence Fishburne I'll, be there who the gives a fuck who fuck of large fish bone or be that's all thing about ally, noble, could just have a party but he had. I have a party and your law was me to have somebody famous there she could come and bring you fought. The stupid grab were show me, a fucking stupid picture. Tell em you stupid, fuck install.
And you know it's not gonna work out, for that is not the case here We hang out with other people, because we fucking dig them. There's no. It's gonna be that I could change your fuckin life, that's bullshit, so The life she's living here. Is it that's what I told you, people kids then go out to and play now. They do these kids to listen, I used to call on half a fruit cases shit. It's not, therefore its guys. Like my fault, I want my daughter played you think I want my daughter Robin trains. Do you really think that do think? I want my daughter knocking on doors. And telling people she selling stickers for the c Y. Meanwhile she's pocketing the money. You don't need that in your life. it would be kind of cute, but I me back from my fucking daughter. I don't. I don't even think it's cute, it's something! We did that we sold sea while stick it that will focus,
I all that shit. Listen. I had a fabulous time and you know- I would want all that shit for my daughter without the criminal element nay, you go joy, you're being hypocritical. Yes, I am my daughter end up in prison like I did. I don't want my daughter even have those type of fucking thought I wanted to have individual thoughts. So when made that statement. It's a fucking funny joke, but is funny. yeah, but that joke I'm not lying. We didn't go up to you know I still remember that kid Valentin Federal building a ramp on my fucking block going downhill, I have an appeal on the signing of bound together doing this on this black cause, you're gonna, fuck and end up with a bow. Connect them. Looking at me going. I don't give a fuck I'm doing this
He was one of those dudes Valentin throw was the kid I used to always give my bike. goes to need fuck crash and fall. I swear to God, man, that's the first dude say what the fuck you my my good friend John Salami, is a big bmx, a added jobs. Allow me as a big, be a maximum New Jersey how this area right here old bridge he loves this. When I my time I was in this area, was going nuts I gotta be honesty. I think round team Pharaoh in the seventies was one of the first kids thought. I saw this Motherfuker Bilbo. Those ramps, like the wheels that you actually jumped off I then landed on another one and that that's that's what everybody did and that's fine. I think I even did it a couple of times. It scared the gotta me was it for me when you land like every turns around and shit. You gotta like balance yourself, that for Uncle Joey I was never fucking.
I was never one of those. Do this going a walk, a tight, but. Thirty also, Also for thirty forty bounty fare of God. I hope his door well. Is it there? but I also saw Valentine, build a ramp one time that was to spin around. can do it on the street. We went to the soccer field. I still remember him dragging up the fucking woods and me going bro what the fuck are you don't you fucking nuts Him dragon like this: he would build in front of his house and this kid game. Michael Clemens had had fleas when we kids nice kid, but he up bureaus and Michael Clemens, is also one of the bicycle dead devil nerds the both of these motherfuckers go up there and build one of those things that they wanted to flip the bicycle over and they did on the other side.
The field, so you wouldn't get hurt, thank God for that. I think they did it twice and name like. Week with a lot to do this. You have to go like the professional parklike down here. Where little bigger for bmx riding with a loop, the loop and shit, but Close Motherfukers was scary, as fuck growing up and even like. I was never a dead devil, I didn't need to be a double double. I was. I was walking dead that MR member remember being in the seventh grade and walking up to carvel on thirty eight street Bergen used to be next to the bottom of the barrel. This mafia, restaurant and it is be this, the school was schools, call Kung, FU school and I still remember walking up there being like a dumb kid like in the Fuckin savage, read the first time cuz, you guys know. I got left back of a second grade, so it's in I got a at this in my life. I got second grade third grade now. Sept
great first time second grade second time and I got before the kidnapping and after the kid So when you see those- and you hear those words, always keep that mind- that that what's going on with Uncle Joey, but are we talking about? I don't even fucking, know anymore, who gives a fuck what would so, yeah like when I was the seventh and eighth grade, I was part of a little dead, crew for a while, but then it was for me, I'm good, I'm good! Jumping, the pools and shit. I would jump off like a like yeah yeah. I was the king of the Diving board. But I'm also into jumping off way. I could do one of those things from almost famous when he calls me a golden god. Golden godly jumps off the roof into the pool I did that all the time cuz. We used to go to like like a pack on and we used to go to somewhere off the quarry. The quarry had that we could jump in.
and I tell you guys something that I think in the eighth grade: There was one Sunday when we went somewhere. I took a hit of acid with this dude really Lynch that was older than me, and I was drinking heinekens and shit. I went home was so fucking drunk that I puked on myself, but when I woke up there was a piece of gum and how he's talking about the story? I have. I had a great eight track player at the time and I had dark side of the moon on a track, but I'm not trying to make this seem. Weird find Dominic died. I heard about it. You know he he he round on Sunday and when he drowned turn, the men going to bear and asking me if I wanted to go in at that time, My man had already died.
Was the summer and nineteen. Eighty I was living in my ass by still lived in the neighborhood around the corner and I would still see those guys. Those guys are still. My friends I was little bit more spread out on my I thought I'd go uptown and stuff, but I still Going out with those guys and One of the reasons why I didn't go with that day was because I always knew I went to one of those little Sunday parties, why we had to get a colleague cases being drive out there, and then people get fucked up and people go swimming or Some guy would climb a wall was always something devilish. The matter one little trips I was like you don't want, I'm not when are these anymore cause? I want something's going to happen like somebody's gonna fall. Somebody's. When I never thought of that, I would love to tell you that I knew somebody was going to die now I knew that there was too many of us.
Would be sixteen. Seventeen kids couple. Girls and poo play buck. Buck replay shit like that, but you know the diving and stuff and jumping and all that when you add our all to it and you add fuckin drugs to it, something's going to happen, somebody's going to slip and fall or something so I never thought it would be one of my close friends. So when they came back that Sunday and told me he drowned and they had. For the body all night. I was like that's the last time that was when I ended my fucking games of going out to die because now I know was fucking possible. You know I didn't say this joke as a fucking joke. I meant this as real. When I was growing up the level of play, I mean guys Hamels, twice the night that New Jersey won the state championship. I took a.
Really strong acid that I should never taken and I was walking the street or nine dog. To this day, I remember a fucking car coming at me. I was so high on the acid that I just was like ugh look at the fucking car coming at me and must have been drinking and whether we can see the slow down. If it wasn't for a friend of mine, me I'm away. We would be able to welcome pod guessed right now get out. I remembered life stupid thing ass. I looked at myself, While one then I went over the jolly she's out. Who is his birthday this week my birthdays The nineteenth is like the boy people. If it did, I said to him: merry Christmas happy birthday on Facebook Joe Lucci. I went to his body once more. In concert and ice funny quaaludes and doing bumps and drinking that wasn't. Even the sun was still up and I remember that
waken up the Sunday morning having puke all over me everybody around me was passed out, I'm sitting, thinking what The flock happened last night and I could for what the fuck happened. Just getting up and out of there and getting home, so I was staying with the benders son we call on the Santa you ok fought without you die last night. We thought you, oh deed. I'm a brave and they told him my fucking eyes opened in the back. My father had and that I had no color to me and that fucking it didn't look good for a minute. That was the Joe Lucci crew. If you add style or something you on your home. You know what I'm saying that wasn't like they were going to put our towels on you It wasn't one of these comforting houses. You know so I was doing some coke see some quail lose drank in an hour?
like you. I just want some passed out guys. I woke up. And I remember that when I woke up that time, then people told me that day what happened then, when I went School that one day come from upon me aside is a man would be concerned by and I was passed, when I realized how unhappy I was with my life like I was trying to kill myself. my mother's death. I was went, but I didn't really want to do it that deal. scared me, I said fuck it now. I'm have a a little bit more control, only to quit eludes the stellar four from now on, and that was still fucking here It's amazing how a kid's life is changed and when I tell the kids life I talk about all over the country, talk about it here. You know when I used to travel different cities every weekend. That's the one thing I would do is you know?
drive around in a while. Maybe this town as a neighborhood with kids are playing. It's not a thing anymore. very seldom do you have even here The corn, like I said Jim, saw these out. There What day is a week? Maybe one day all the kids come out but it's not how it was. When I was growing up and even over here I have neighbors across the street. I got the neighbors around the corner, the kids come out and all of them meet, but it's like a very weird thing: three from a form, will get together, but we really have to three five, seven, eight Kids part of this fucking little where I live, and if three of them before forbidden, get together every once in salon why even run this actually is two other kids too. So I can't fucking pain again. my daughter go out and die in New Jersey. You know I'm already scared of her.
went down the shore you know MIKE, I don't have to how bad the fucking that sure is down there with the toes of the undercurrent people. Always fucking died on the shore holy shit. Today I guess dying about it, ain't it's about fucking the dangers of what it is to be. Young and want to have fun man. You know Sometimes things going to go awry, get my license times on my fuck surprised. More people didn't die with the ship We were doing whether it was the drugs the pills the jumping off. buildings, things that shelter with light bulbs to fucking quaaludes. I mean I'm very thankful. You like when I see what happened with Kate last year Sometimes I could have happened to me. You know I'm going to taxes Texas during a weekend as a feature act, and I go to a party after fucking whatever and some
just dies and you're at the party, but you gotta give a fucking statement to the cops they. While the comedy club, the agent want to talk to you about it. You have no fucking idea how much murder I got away with from That was a lot of I'm lucky they didn't so an alleged your life. Yet we have a good time growin up with. thou windows. We rob trains, but I thought a lucky. I we really how fuckin lucky you know one of the things I do every morning crazy, that I've been doing it for a while. You guys remember, I started by the time we had Catherine duty on its something that already told me to start doing and that's it go into, shall we say five things you're grateful for every you know, the one better. When I get up in the mornings- and I grab that cup of coffee before anything,
fucking comes into my head. I go outside is cold as it is. I don't give a fuck how cold it is. Go outside. I got in the morning and I said My chair outside get a little fuck him. Cold air in my lungs, it's good for your immune system and I tried I make eye contact with the sun. I mean I try to look at the satellite. Thank God. Forgive me another day to be a bad mother, fucker, and I and I just. I do five things, I'm grateful for them for MIKE being in my life. I'm grateful for my daughter, I'm grateful to God for the house. He gave me. I just remind myself five things every morning and How can we use it when I got the whoop watched the wool back when you sleep at night, Are you supposed to press a button and told his wife that you cannot that's your activity is sleep. but when you wake up the next morning as soon as I pee in the morning, I brush my teeth. I come out. I stop that timer. And then I go get coffee. I stood outside when I finish role that I come
downstairs. I plug my phone in before that application. but Camacho to go process to sleep every morning, whoop ash you a couple. questions. They ask you. Enough. Did you use you sleep at him ass to use? What did you sleep with a? He met a fire You have sex last night. Did you sleep? Well, only on the bed. Did you have a cat, or an animal in the room when you slept with you think about this shit I've, always loved sleeping in my room but an animal. I always think that you pat him whether it's I a cat they sleep next year and it helps you sleep a lot easier, just stopped your fucking day if you use the Cbd product and give you stretched and asked you grateful oh fuck and really cool questions, but questions that I really couldn't
we would ask me was: did you practice being grateful today. so what kind of like you have to? I don't down what I'm grateful for already say the universe. Every morning there do you know what I just right? I did write some great flashlight, one thousand two hundred and fifteen questions. If you Yes, you have to explain yourself so be careful what you write. Yes, but I like that should I like it that its actually psychologically good to do that, to say every morning what you're grateful for, even if you're, in jail, even if you're missing. I who gives us there's gotta be he's gotta, be something here, grateful for even when I was in my darkest fucking times. There was always something I was grateful for for so this weekend I'll think about going out to play dying, but the most one thing I want you to think about this week. Is what you're grateful for because it makes a big influencing your life. I thought I was playing tricks on me,
open the geniuses at whoop fucking. which are the Jews are whoop. Do it That means we got to fucking. Do it anyway? That's today's motherfukers! in the podcast on a beautiful Monday morning, I got A little babbling is double seven night, and I'm ready to fuckin go. I love you, cod stock. Thank you very much for listening every Monday morning and get in fuckin do with the world. Thank you for always having my motherfuking back. you know. I love you cocksuckers with all my heart, it's gotta a great week and The you does decide what ended in going sling back with me. big mother and the swing. This week. I love you have a great week and I'll see you guys Monday. The twenty third tip top No, I think it's Julia Servings birthday. I love your concept to stay black. Aren't you fuck the savages I wanted thank you guys for watching a podcast gas, listen to whatever you do. I want
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Transcript generated on 2022-03-20.