Welcome to UNCLE JOEY’S JOINT.....
It’s Wednesday, February 23rd....
Today we catch up with our pal, LEE SYATT!
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The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media:
Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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You bad welcome, check joint Wednesday, the twenty third of Mother Motherfuking February
it's been a great week. So far yesterday
How can one day it was like sixty falcon degrees yesterday was sixty degrees, it rained so it
fuckin spring time in New Jersey. But
get your fucking don't put
went to jackets away yet concept, but anyway, I'm good
it's been a grave, fuck and weak. So far a lot of years watch data. I know a lot of saw
the video that Fucking Lee posted on Saturday for my birthday, great job, great video,
the tastes that video even shocked the
watch Adam me. It really did Lee looked
like a million fucking bucks. I have not seen him.
Since we left that way, I'm going to see him in a three way.
really thought to excite the Samuel going to get together on a Sunday. We come up
with some chinese food. You know he'll come unlike like Friday night
something with him Saturday, you know he doesn't want to do much, but it's amazing.
How one I miss him and number two.
I'm really fucking, proud of them guys.
I always knew it.
I tell you guys a big fucking lie or listen. When I got into comedy
I didn't want to be on tv or any of that stuff. I didn't
I gotta tell you something. The only thing that made me stay. There was my belief. I had a fucking strange belief that some
think that happen. If I told my story and did I was correct, but
At the same time, I had a weird feeling about Lee:
I knew Lee was going to do great things.
It was just to get out of that fucking. We would just.
What a fucking
genuine hall and it was brought on by ourselves. Now that I think about it. I see you know what we put into the church, but listen what I
into a church and what I put into the joint is two different energies to church. We didn't
what we're dealing with we didn't know what we wanted to do.
It became bigger than we knew what to do with it. Like I
I think now
big numbers were coming.
add to show now and like I listen,
I'm not upset by it at all. We are
to allow people move on. You know: Howard Stern stand going to be the king of the ways forever that
Do you know now? It's Joe Rogan, you know
the king of the Fucking Airways, but
I always understood the evolution of it, but I knew I wasn't given up.
I knew I was a and I one thing now now
I feel that whatever we were going to last two years is over
now it's time to fucking go for
you know, we've all been.
Pretty we've accepted things the last two years and nobody has accepted things,
more than I have and guess
what I don't like what I accepted, I really don't
a lot of mediocrity and
was the best. I could do it the time and now you know
fifty percent is better than some people's hundred percent, but
my mind, wasn't right all that behind this now so now our a
fuckin second mission to be as good as
like a bit,
You know, I don't know what the future is going to bring. I don't know
but I do know I'm happy. I do know that I'm joining my time here. I know that
there's a lot going on in the world
let me give a fuck about it. No more like it just I'm concerned. Would you guys my pay drawn my house, my wife, my kids, and that's it? That's it MIKE is family. The people that are close to me in a you cannot bury bought em that now
big forum anymore, like I used to be in California,
FUCK New Jersey, little fucking an hour and guess what
I'm enjoying it so this week after I saw that
video fully. I I just said you know what men
It was funny how many people said happy
birthday to me and I appreciate
All the well wishes and happy birthdays, but I gotta tell you some. I got
just as many messages from my birthday, as I
did about Lee people like we can.
not believe how good he looks. We cannot believe that
winkle of his eyes back. You know- and I
ass. My twinkle in my eye to I saw some of those old.
videos and yeah we're having fun and we were laughing. But I tell you what
twinkle. My eye was gone. I was
Damn it's okay to be burnt out and.
the hard thing about being burnt out as acknowledging it
everything you never really know. When,
you know, but
it's mine this now in our happy that you guys are still on board
watching as some people move down. I wish a more well but will make a fuckin strong come back here,
Hopefully in a while we get a fucking like I stopped looking like
the pandemic, but now I'm back on it. I'm really interested
in a small studio, we can fucking smoke up and yell and scream and tell people to suck my cock and have people banging on the door. Stop smoking weed. I miss all that shit that I do miss and we'll figure it out, but for right now man I got you, we had
status on this week and are you guys, are big and resumed, but I had a bus and went out and we're gonna bust went out the next couple. Pod gas, because uncle joy can't do all this fuckin talk around self. I can't we get
bingo any. I just can't, but today I bring you the beauty,
Mr Liese, I add, enjoy
what's up you bad Motherfuker,
it was too much and that was eat a spoonful of hummus that doesn't make the medicine go down, that fucking spicy hummus taste like and Hindus fucking toast after he fucking, runs two miles in Fucking India, with the covert, invest the
can convert a God knows what else hummus,
last time you eat hummus before that
too long or more like a little bit every once in a while, but and the fly salaries- and I can you see that you have no flies around you anymore, they were trying to say there was a fly on the neck. I
like these mother fuckers, I think it was. I think it must. It must have been you were there haven't been a fly since I left L a I mean it's
Hamas liked, I told you when is it comes out of your fucking pauses shit, you what what
what do flies like the most shit
ever see a pieces should take a piece of shit. How long a fly lands on two seconds,
and then he whistles for his work and friends and his family, and they all attack that piece of shit. So they get down,
so the fuckin granola bit,
I forgot you used to like, have flies as pets in like do. Science. Experiments on flies now flies, don't even come around me because you're not around see they knew. I was related to you by fucking prop
even though you didn't suck my dick and I didn't suck yours, but thank God they fuckin,
I'm even cats. I don't even see a fucking fly, no more. I was thinking about that. I found the can the other day my little fly paradise
you can get home. You took that frontier in Jersey before and I worked hard on that little fucking and fly get away and shit
That's my little fly getaway. I had upon them that some thc, the positive shit
the fucking room where they could just hang themselves like a little rope and shit like just it got too much.
The thc got too much makes
that so crazy. What are you down? That does in a hundred and forty four cheeses rice and what are you going?
I want to get down to one hundred and fifty. So that's another forty lb and how much walking are you still doing?
four times a week. I do about at least three miles, no shall take an hour
forty five minutes to an hour. It's really not
a bad, and I do I do it on the wall and my page round. We just talk and its. I asked
like walking. Now I'm never going to be a hiker or like a huge working or thing out person, but a little walk it.
clears my mind. It's it's
Well that that's why I like the city more I like being able to like. Oh, I'm gonna we'll go walk to the store. Now
in L, a you're walking and looking at dirt and homeless people. It's boring it's funny, because
He used to always say that the reason
you put on so much weight. Now Les was beside
edibles the weed the homeless, the
you know the the cheese.
Kobe fries and shit. He was then not walking
I just came on a couple.
When I went back to judge Who- and I noticed that my cardio was shit again and you know you lift weights, you do cattle,
as you try to do everything you can to I,
The cardio is, and then I started reading when I joined
you jitsu, and then I got the call when I started reading those days. I had to call.
and ever since,
The last week of December, I've been walking on a treadmill,
and if so, when you find out a lot about yourself, because I never look-
that walking as anything big, I did it.
Fucking years in New York walk from Port Arthur,
I need the one hundred and fifty that's forty fucking blocks. You know right, that's a long fucking! That's all
and I said to do that all the time. I was a big time. Walker.
But I realise when I started walking and lead you have a whoop watch. I d
I dont you gotta get a father who watch ok,
however, is a month, thirty bucks a month whatever
de I'm learning more about myself every fucking day
every it's a challenge like you have to beat the record from yesterday.
And in that someone tracks your work out. Your sleep attracts everybody will work out. You sleep with. Just sleep is important. The you know it works
you fucking vitals your oxygen, your heart rate. You know
me being a fucking old goat. I like it and it works
I never thought that,
I got it was a friend referred it to me at Jiu Jitsu.
I gotta tell you man, you learn a lot like
I think I'm working out hard, but you ain't doing shit
and then you home, put the watch on you you're like fuck. Fortunately, for what
fuck and I'll tell you, you went to live, but you did more cardio based up.
so at you know you it just really. I like to sleep on it.
Right now I'm learning to fucking go to bed early. I keep my kids, I tell you,
about eleven thirteen
wake up at seven forty and tell you right now
What you need, what your body needs water, it's fucking, pretty intense, but man
almost got as much as I swear to God me in this
I called you yesterday I said
as many happy birthday is, as I got, did you see late
Facebook had I've, learned messages and tenable,
we're really happy fully in our now I heard you got a package with the girl. Fine, it's funny
We just did we about going to Philly to eat, but-
I appreciate it man,
you you were always in a night
play on me about working out eating right and
I wish I wish I had an answer to this, but I feel
honestly feel like every person just has to be there.
it wasn't I just
wasn't ready, I guess cause it's just
I've been on it for
not doing really anything that special
Honestly, the walking is the working out. I do. I threw my back out doing kettlebells. I don't do that anymore and I have
regular meals. It's just. I got
this is the lightest. I've been probably since high school.
And I'm just I like
I'm down to a thirty six. Now, I'm back, I was,
I was over fifty inch waist when I left l
I was at. I was stopped at a Walmart in Arkansas,
or wherever the head of Walmart is, and I had to,
the biggest jeans they had and they barely fit.
and now I'm down to thirty six and like
Steve, Steve, Simone and Jimmy Schubert. They took me
walking when when we were still in L a during covert, we won't walk a couple of times a week. I had to sit down on the
street I hated it
little changes man I mean look at you. I just like I told you yesterday I just watch the Sopranos movie. You were so much bigger back then.
you lost a ton of weight too? I bet
It looks like I lost weight, but it's deceiving evening I'm putting on weight as we fucking speak. I've gained like ten pounds to Covid.
Is it muscle? Do you think
I don't have a muscle in my fucking body, I'm an old fucking geezer, but
I don't know what it is. You know it, but I've been eating edibles again and some of them like they're, all the delta eight side
that: sugar, random, shit, sugars, my fucking enemy. I mean everybody's enemy between
information and the weight? I can eat twenty two for comport jobs.
not gained as much weight as only one fucking donut.
not me over. It's ridiculous, like the sugar levels
and I avoid as much as you can, but let's face it, everything's got sugar in it. You will
I'd going out to eat a lot, but you still
A break down and go out to eat time when you go out to eat you look at the menu and say you know,
look at my meat intake. A lot
really take a look at my maiden tat. You know and we all, as young men, people watch this podcast we're all offer
big time media tits. You know what I'm going to tell you something I fucking couldn't imagine a life without a fucking steak.
You know I love stay, everybody loves thing, but for me are you.
I eat any meat after like six at night, it's a fucking nightmare. For me,
We just take a tent lunchtime. You know I
it just I gotta watch my meat intake and you'll see guys
went to a friend of mine. I don't mean to insult them. Heavyset dude great guy, one of my best friends in Jersey.
send them made, and this is I I want to tell people this. He sent me to the Marlboro dine out for the hash
round skill it out, but I had brown fuckin skill it.
Is it like eggs on top and stuff eggs and bacon targets got eggs, hash browns till you can't eat them? No more and it's ham bacon and what's the other breakfasting people eat sausage, sausage ham, breakfast sausage, they put the three eggs on top and then they call the fuckin cheese. Now, if we're talking with smoking dope and we're talking, it's it's a great thing: wow, you can get that you know. There's a bagel place bagel world on the five twenty
fuckin loved them that whole more is gold. They got pliable, which is like cocoanut milk. Instead about I ball on the bottom would granola shit. They read to me:
eighty pie, the tomato pizza over
delicious they got a chicken
is that solutions, but the place I like the most over there.
seven seas. Chinese restaurant, that's fuckin tremendous
but Bagel world has a sandwich. Lee can't even fucking finish it. It's got two eggs
she's a Hash brown sauce
and something else for the fucking Jews. You know- and it's like this
finally allowed Now- I ask
the guy go.
use a lot of these tolerable.
I didn't get the words out of my mouth, a woman hold two of them, and then she was
eating one of them like she was
She wasn't in jobs or nothing. She was just a regular woman, a workout Jake, but she ate the whole fucking thing Europe
and when you look at those dishes, when you're twenty, two twenty eight,
Thirty one! When you smoke dope, those dishes are really attractive, but I
and I hate that thing and had thought him diarrhea and it was good.
man dish it written? It was so good at over. While me like, the meat was good. The Hamleys get everything was good. Only half of it.
But it was so overwhelming. I had a run home and fucking. My ass all blew up. I heard noises and bombs in the fucking toilet. How would it
destroyed. The fucking my twitchy, but
it was so weird. How I made I got was good. It was really good if you're twenty,
two hundred and thirty one you know twenty nine you're hungover? You got your dick sucked
call come out of. You need some food, but it wasn't for me at fifty eight.
Like it wasn't for me,.
I have you in my head man, because, like I I gotta be honest the last month or so,
I've been sort of going back and forth. I fucked up in December. I took like Christmas off and I gained like again fourteen,
fourteen days. I lost it all. I got back on the thing, but it's
I have you in my head: were we in L A when I used to eat that shit used to tell me like hey man, if you're going to eat Chinese? Wait till you go back to Boston if you're going to go eat this like may, have it be worth it and it that
the workers like even
Stately yours talking about state AIDS, take the other night, but I can have
I know you have chicken breast with with weight, watchers
Chicken. Breast is a few couple hundred few hundred calories a steak, the same size as almost one thousand calories
I guess it really.
yeah. I like a steak, but is it really worth it should I then that's why I know you give me shit about the ground, Turkey. I have
I want to lose this last forty pounds
and then see what I can do, because that's going to I've never been able to keep it off lie you.
absolutely my project like a fucking AIDS,
as cancer victim. You know what I'm supposed to be. All you need to do is shave. Your eyebrows and people were giving you free meals and bells, and whistles and fucking racist shit.
I think a trip to death in the world than a liar drop twenty and see how you feel drop
twenty more and see how you feel
you see the fucking skinny, I'm one. Ninety right now I haven't been. Why haven't been under two hundred and a long goddamn time? Maybe
get pretty much more, but I wasn't a diver one. Nineteen, it's like the honeymooners one raft goes not introduce any pictures of me when I wait three and bound and they go now,
your baby pictures.
Great fucking job yeah. It was true dude. I was
I was huge at the end I just couldn't.
tween. I just couldn't stop and that- and I still have it in me, like what I saw in December when I took that break. I
I have to really be strict with myself, because I can't, if I have a,
today dared or let myself go off the track. So I thought I still have I
Can still eat, like I used to eat,
how can a human men were humanly
and I got to be honest with you, so you don't feel too bad about yourself fucking. I was great. Last year, I really was, I did
good as a job as I could. I watched my way and I watch what aid
I call the daily what happened and people laugh at me when they hear this story. My daughter had a box of fucking can be upset.
I tell you it's a box guys
I got no reason why it's. She had a great
from Halloween from Halloween. We had to break it up and get rid of it, and I know it was my my wife. What too much I think in my wife bought too much candy, but it was just a stacks of fucking
What's that shit racy route, our baby,
Okay LISA's, a fucking, three musketeers hundred thousand dollar bar the licorice. What's to called the Red One, the chair, puzzler twizzlers the little packs. Oh yeah, the fucking little peanut butter cups. I would go upstairs when I had Coleman and fill my pouch.
my hooded sweatshirt with fucking, and I couldn't that's never been me like
it me since I was you know twenty every once in a while. I go off the deep and lie. If I tell you that was from the twenty third of fucking December every night to like the second of January
I couldn't hear I couldn't fucking stop by midnight. I'd have to go upstairs. I just fill my bag and I was picky. Do like yeah Babe Ruth. I would fuckin the vowel.
all she had those mothballs.
So I went to the same thing you went through.
Ballooned from the should I wasn't even I was eaten
three more dollar, not not listen, we enter means it done.
Really Dunkin donuts at Dunkin, donuts
and demented on it. My wife just bought a couple of weeks ago for the kids that were going to come over, so she got the three pack the jacket to cinnamon
White, when I opened it up, it was so skinny that donor.
only bond these deck Tony Bondy. They do club thirty, eight that had the long day
It was skinny like real skin, like somebody pulled out in for an hour, his brothers pulled on it.
I took the Donald look like when I was a kid, though Donald Rebecca and I gotta be honest. I broke a half of the chocolate and I took a bite, a fucking entertainments, my favorite
If, when I was twenty one, my goal was to force the intimate building like to talk about building and then Edith Debt cause I fuckin loved it.
I don't blame you dude. I fucking loved it
and now I can't touch one of those fucking things that in the coffee
cake is still god
I dude candy,
When I was gone, the. Why do you think I went to the fourth wall every night cause it was
the seven eleven and I would get to chocolate things and two gummy things towards the end, it was two three
thousand calories a night
It's not it's just can't
the one thing I miss aid.
My treat now are caramel rice, cakes, I the fuck.
hello, caramel, rice, cakes. I have seven at a time or use your ship much just land in the toilet and stand up straight like a fucking sky rise and shit.
Now. I know why you should I mean I know you were eating rice, cakes, but now that I eat healthy, I'm having the big
I like when it comes out of the water, goes all the way in the hole and then comes out of the water. I'm having some good ones now the best is when you go to wipe your ass and your nipples hit the shit. That's when you know you're putting some fucking inches on that fucking toilet. I've never had that happen. Once a month I reached down, and I get a little shit on my knuckles, I gotta get up wash one hand like a fucking like a fucking leper. I gotta wash one hand and put cologne on the finger
asked if you washed. I thought you might
your friend or go to Michael, hey smell this not too over there. He was now this. The old guy comes up smelled as you can throw them in jail now and you can put them in jail. Some little guy came up to me and said smell this. What the fuck
you know I could just throw you fucking jail now. So you can't tell nobody smell
I think it'll blow your fucking jail. Now, if you tell somebody pull my finger like some young girl,
today's. My I put going to jail for two to years,
mercy on Farland mercy.
finger from time to time I'll blow a fought and ask if she smelled and she'll say no yeah hysterical
It's amazing how big she is. Do we talked to her on her birthday,
he's like a little adult. Now it's a different okay,
that's so awesome people, boy value, more calm, you're, more quiet, none of them one shot,
the walking around in shock, I'm workin for a building to hit me because I know
A year away from a home starting- and I know that I mean she's, already like nine going on thirteen she's very mature, and should I
really I'm having a great time, but listen, I was gonna, say, buy anything right now. I am having a very very, very good time and we talk at night. I talked about yesterday last night took up kickboxing on the way back like that. I don't want to stay home. Fucking mom's got me on board and she loved it.
The six o clock beats a body collars side took over the Carlos. We had a good time when a friends you know its top into a more she stood or know anything about it.
Reefer now really now she doesn't know anything.
she's, not Youtube all day. I thought the kids were not a ball, then no, thank I know now a mother fix all the computers and shit, so she can
see like videos are gone with the wind and shit like the button. I don't need some folk him, a global, looking mother Fucker, what a big dick showing a big data mansion,
I gotta, listen man, it's so weird how you expect something from your children.
Well, you also want to protect your children. I want my daughter to be street savvy, but also for right now.
Right now I got a little falcon shaded just because she don't need that wife. She don't need to know about this or that it doesn't have nothing to do with what she's gonna for our goal. Right now is to
they go and what girls do they want to have fun right, except
when I was twenty one one, but just to have fun fuck you
one of my diamond, I'm saying, but now when I have a daughter and she's fucking, nine going on ten girls just want to have fun
I don't do plenty of that later on yeah she's going to have plenty of but she's having the best life. I could give her right now. She's got a ton of friends. You know last night she said to me: I dunno. If I want to go to kickboxing or mercy, would he
There's no school, you gonna sit here like a fuckin done, twenty amply glaring.
Minutes in the school she's giggling feet flight
it blows it's fucking hysterical.
pros around and she looks at me and giggles and winks at me, like she's, got a great fucking hip have over there. So
still letter. Kick you in the leg yeah from time to time. I worked the leg with that little she got new fucking shouldn't God's a little harder. I gotta be careful that the hard the hard place
the one with the one. I got like it's a lotta, but it's been a fuckin experience. You know Lee you look at them
I like how I worked out the way it was supposed.
everything we can
and we ended at the right time. We got off the air at the right time. I think that you are ready for something new.
Ready for something new and the timing was perfect at the time it didn't sound good. It was like what the fuck are we going to do with it,
It's been all work, I gotta be honest, see it now that I've spoken to like five or six people the last week, and I can tell that they're moving forward, like people have started moving forward
whatever things they want to do with that business or with their lives covid.
On hold them moving forward with it. Now, that's it! The country's been
seventy five percent. In fact it would be time to move on. You want to walk around with a mass guy. I also got
fuckin doo wop out the fucking, listen to I'm saying
life the years ago. Right now that fuckin walk around with a mass, listen, take it off. That was three fuckin.
that was twenty years ago. That's what it feels like right now it was twenty
Fucking musical, let's move forward its
can glorified cold yeah, it's a glorified cold,
This will force you to take vitamins to watch. You eat better this your fortune.
get that one hours sleep and dad
what this break has before. To look at your life get healthy. We took a two year. Fuck
Now I'm ready to sling dick again, if you're a hooker, the two years
If you've been like, you know, care of your buzzy painting it spray and putting
maybe they all in that its time the sun.
They can get him. Let loose we're going to sink that man in the fucking boat and that's it we're going straight to the full
The world ends. Now you told me something
a couple weeks ago that reminded me
Well, I you know, I dunno nothing about not at all, I know is an all my time in L a you were the hottest fucking working guy there, and that was funny because you were a felon and a fucking piece of shit.
and it's the truth, and you know what I'd taken two years, a battle from fuckin light, because I had it was time it was too much. You know I am take a fuckin breather,
It was a fifteen year run without the coke and it was time to go what the fuck happened and that's what I've been doing. The last two years just
Evaluating with two weeks away from finish in the book,
that's awesome today, but I would do chapter
and twenty and then the next chapter is how
and then leaving us decide but closed a podcast. You know me seeing that.
Dude get hit in the head with the Falcon two by four by four Mesa
the fucking white dude punched, the black hooker in the face.
black lives matter
Yes, I'm unfocused length Isham, I don't know. I know that other about me. I told you about that when I went to see the S not wanted to get my medication fuckin, why do
was outside talking to a black dude. I what they were saying,
why do I didn't know he was a fat do talking to a little skinny black check them for a moment, but don't I
Kmart. It was still out there in the argument that escalated and they kept
Where's. My wallet was my wallet. She was sucking his dick and she back of them. That's the oldest trick in the book
also when you get a blow job from a hooky, put your wallet in the fucking back pocket cause you're sitting on it. You can't pick marketed. If you haven't
the front wallet, those checks or pickpocket. When you get your ducks, are you looking up a guy thinking? What happened?
In saying this, the best in the world worldwide. You make me a welder she's.
I'm going away. She's fucking pick a pick, a pickpocket, you take a twenty out and put it back in your wallet. It's all good day.
She just denied luge wallet and Falcon he kept saying was my one as I was getting. The college has pledged to what a right
a straight right that a joy she dropped and she started yelling where's my pants and then that mother for compensatory come up on his little Mazda Packwood fuck.
death row he death row in that fucking car.
It was tired easily. I didn't even wait for the cops I didn't wait. I could have been a good Samaritan, helped her up. That's not my angle, they have cameras yeah, we got cameras at CBS and they weren't going to prosecutor money right now. If you smack somebody in L, a they'll talk you out of product,
that's crazy! Did I was going to ask you: does mercy miss it at all? Does she ever say? Oh, I miss L A and miss people there, not a peep wow peep when she came here. I never forget when she first, but until the pizza
I have to organize. It was like somebody hit her in the head with a two by four she's like I'll. Never go back to California,
FUCK Daniels. She had one connection. She connections to California, a little girlfriend.
and she lives in Garwood, okay and then our other little girlfriend that they were tight with for about a year. They stayed tied on the phone and shit and then the mother was supposed to come to Cape may and call my wife and my wife way. They are all week for the fucking phone typical
I lay paper. My wife was very upset. She didn't, she didn't tell mercy at the family was coming because she had a funny feeling that they were going to pull a California Fuckin Gray and that's what they did and now she's really tight with that girl mercy really likes that girl, but I terrorism the last two or three months she hasn't said nothing about her. In fact, islip
I name the other day, I said her name and she didn't even say no. I haven't spoken to her enough. She just polish right crushes its listen. I was pissed off for a fucking nearly if you know anything about me. I was really pissed off, because I'm Johnny Social have been trained and been social. I've been social, all my life and when I moved here between my wife,
if my daughter, they were social butterflies me, nobody wanted to meet me like. I was that luck. You know, but then again on the other side I didn't want. I didn't want to create what I created. I like like people, fucking be my friend because a comedy I want to. I want people to be my friend because of me, and I remember, I met a few people and I remember the neighbor across the street the Palmer's he came to me like we were friends for about two weeks talking and shit and one day he's like hey man, I saw a video and I remember that it sucked the energy out of me. It was like a kick me in the stomach like fuck. My secret is out like to see like I thought these people didn't watch comedy. They didn't know anything about podcasts, but I didn't adjust like they did. They were,
the box. They were going to parties after a week, meeting people after a week, I'm sitting down. He had a drywall away, not Bergen to talk to my friends and whatnot. While I was listening to you on Rogan and I think what you said made a lot of sense
well. You know you went from Jersey to Colorado to Seattle, to L all that shit,
But if you don't have
menaced your version of that happened and I still live.
It still blows my mind that as many people watch and listen to the church as they did
I don't really
stand. I understand, but I really don't that.
That people all around the world.
ten years, hundreds of thousands millions of people whatever listen to the podcast.
It, doesn't really make sense to me.
I I still haven't really fully accept.
Did that that happened. It's it's! It's very funny that, right now I have the joy and the numbers of maybe a quarter of what the church and it doesn't bother me I get. I could sleep
Man, I'm ok, what it because I didn't know where they charge has gone
We never really know what the church was gone. We just kept doing it and kept getting high and kept increasing the numbers on. You know. We didn't know where the fuck is going, but it was Bank
and you look at some of those you tube numbers. They ve been stolen than they ve been reefer can put up, so we don't really have a gauge on what they ve done right, but
now, looking back after a year and a half and not doing it, I'm very proud of that.
Yeah, hell, yeah, very proud of church. When I look at the church now, it's like looking at
Lucy in black and white. You know that was what apart,
gas was then we tried to do the best we can and we did the best way.
We got to a lot of people, a message
you have a message saying in the mess is still continue them in my life that doesn't matter what happened. He doesn't matter what you did. You could always create a second chantries that railways called the church and the joint a second chance, but cast
Deaf or misfits there for people who have been made to feel like they don't belong, guess what they do belong. It was like me,
for years. Man and still, I still feel like. I don't belong.
As a stand up. I never felt included.
And then, as a human being, I never felt included. So it just ran with that. But.
and I know people listen to. It feel the same way. We know
included in the big things.
What I'm saying: yeah, I'm friends with Joe and Apprendre Laurie and I'm from what Brett Bert, but look at that Netflix special look at those Netflix specials and who they given to they have
the clientele- and I was never one of them. I was
one of them for anything. You know what I'm saying whether it was Chelsea, but I kept overcoming and kept pushing forward. You can't worry about what you don't accomplish have to worry about what you do accomplish and what's next you know, and I think we did that with the church. We really raised the bar on podcasting, as as
because it wasn't it. An information pat cast right was an escape outcast skull. Listen, that's what I want to create an want people to sit there and be like for
We can't miss this word cuz, I'm going to know it's an escape podcast. You put.
for Now- and I have you smoke a joint and you take the ride
more so like a pink Floyd out or Alexa play,
I'm not saying I'm Jimmy Page Robert Plant, but
What I'm saying is that what we were going for that
Tag along I didn't want to go on them, be small,
calling you and compete with Bill Maher
Omar's Bill Maher John Oliver's, John Oliver Rogan's.
And where who the fuck we're what we would have put fake shoot your time, I don't think the podcast would have done that. Well, that
nasty about gas podcast. That's not doing well
a friend of mine. I check it out and I'll see
that those two people on that podcast Castle, those three people for people, each trying to be something else. If you can,
but the yourself and keep it in your world and in your lane and what you talk about everything
I'll be ok. Go on that. Even though I don't go on it talking about vaccines,
cuz. I don't want to compete with Rogan. I don't know anything about that shit right and stays up for days. Reading all that shit, I want to read about vaccines and mris and
yeah, but he did and he presents knowledge the and that's great
but even when I wanna Rogan last week, there was a feel good bad cast you
right, but I think
now. No Rogan thou well, but I think, if wrote even have Rogan didn't have the pod cast he'd probably be interested in some of that stuff. I think that church
did a great job of,
showing who you were and, and we had a lot of fun, but there were some serious
but it wasn't. It wasn't
to be serious is just because that's where the conversation went, it adds
It was a it was a window into into your in my life. It was like it was just a
Who we were first,
decade in L, A.
You know I love, I love that we kept it a hundred percent.
They say we keep a wheel on one hundred,
We have it a one hundred this shit wages. Just I like that. We never see.
the above. We were that was very vague and I think that was what people enjoy from it there
We weren't trying to be anybody still to this day. I'm not trying to be anybody, give a fuck what you think of me: I'm a fucking douche bag that started correct
jokes and somebody like them, and here we are now.
I want do. None of that shit anymore lie.
Really I liked to come on I and tell people like I'd like to be not honest, honest and go while not honestly, like could be up the mystic.
I gotta get ass days by June at no fucking idea.
I know I don't miss it at all. I spoke to somebody last night from Ally from my LH days. I spoke to him for about forty five minutes. I love this guy. You know, I love him with all my heart. It was a different
What fucking conversation I saw when I lost my left. That way, I lost that stupid. L, a cheddar chatter that people write to you. I loved this guy last night. I almost hung up on him then that
because it was that fucking Hollywood chitter chatter, and it was funny when I got here
right away. I caught that Hollywood Chitter chatter and I
had to get a lot of my world. Unlike I'm getting this, I got to get this out of my fucking world. Do you know a little by little
I did and Rogan ass many a day goes. You know you, don't really you never really like that, how he would now now all eyes people lines.
Who likes people looking in your face and telling you one thing than two weeks later, I didn't like none of that shit.
I saw the
watch the Superbowl? I saw that that I saw
Everything I left behind. You know the symbols
fucking biggest event in the country and all the celebrities with that Jennifer Lopez with those fucking.
fucking glasses on dancing like somebody wants to see that old pussy, that's been worn out.
Like I said last week, she fucked everybody in that fucking employ fucking area
what the fuck is mustache lookin like Joe fuckin homo, like he's about to make a point.
with six button gay guys on without would go
and then the rock. I guess
I that don't get me more. What a marrow
but you can't tell Adieu, does steroids the guy's a walking, fuckin contradiction, all of them almost hourly with guys, are walking. Fucking contradiction. You don't seem bread.
Day was busy getting his dick sucked by eight fucking illegal immigrant somewhere in Africa, don't give a fuck
but all that shit. I left that behind, like I didn't want nobody that was bulshit to me like how I
people seeing this shit
you read more steroids and have those football players on the field and you're not even playing fucking football.
the young and screaming you came full circle, go fuck yourself
I am so sick of all that. That's what I got. Secondly- and I think I should like in two thousand and ten
like there's no them does nothing. I hate it more than waiting for somebody that have applied cast.
like somebody who I want to be,
asked on the show and, and they have a podcast, it will always late. You know I've thought about more
went into a studio up north, but I might
And this model
going to be a half hour late and I'm only one
get that started because uproar people at the window and the media for that shit if they
up at all, yet they should
even with these resumes now MIKE
talk to somebody a week where I can't do Tuesday. I can't do I go fuck yourself when I called you last week, so
do it myself come on and import shit fuck fucking hour, but I just
all that should have disappear from my life and had I you know everything you have to think about
everything just fuckin. Do it like Nike? What are we doing about? What are you fucking Copernicus? What has been a fuckin think about a block and they want to meet get the fuck out of it just get on stage right, the ten jokes.
I'm gonna fuckin fucking stage right see. I would obviously I was never anywhere close to your level of stand up. I got it
I haven't done in a few months. I miss doing.
but I've now I never like. I wasn't doing it for a living. I was just doing it for fun and to be
as well, I miss more than actually
stand up for them miss doing with Eric and all those guys out. I miss I miss that part
A comrade areas stand up. Is a beautiful fucking yeah I've been in prison, that's one thing that that be
everything by a mile, the camaraderie of comedy,
It really is something when
you're! All I need mean ground
you're, all looking for the same. Your
wanting the same thing, there's nothing like my comedy friends and I'll. Never ever forget them. That's like going to fucking jail with Forbes
it's like going to Vietnam, you know it's! That's the camaraderie to go out. You don't think
miss calmly. I miss the simplicity. I miss the waiting all day to do six minutes. I don't MR professional side of coming right at Miss that
rumble side, a colony that, but now wouldn't be a struggle. It would just be a struggle to get no material, you think so. Yes, I can't find right calmly anymore, my colleague
and jobs grated I've tried the falcon right calmly and everyone's. So why come up with a fuckin jen? But now dude? I I
went to hundreds of shows with you remember was with either. You will see that you are the priest, we Audrey
and down to that first album recording accordingly looked over at me, so I don't know what I'm going to say have nothing to say: did one set
and I want to number one and I too, and for a month, if I
I, I think you could do it. I do miss them,
Do you miss like making people laugh like that? Laugh
like when, when there's a big laugh- and I didn't get that many of them that I miss.
Listen, you always you miss a blow job. Everybody misses
you, Mr Blair,
you know you don't miss to get beat you catch on Philly, suck your dick and swallow now you going to take a half hour. It beat with sperm breath,
smelling your fucking sperm, any anti Tanya by a life in
wants to be a star and she wants to meet Kanye West Data
Jesus was too is that the freeze piper drones that that's that's the that,
type. You know
we told them about that above I've got, I feel like it came through the screen about missing a bonus and getting laughs, but missing comedy. I missed the labs, but I don't miss what comes with it.
I got to hear you hear beating. I got to hear your story about how you ran over your mother and you got it. You know I got it
and take a picture and get a shot by bread them my neck. What the aldermen
I used to love being late. I miss I miss little.
Miss those things
I used to love when you would do the the
the meet and greet, and so on,
if their arm around you like on the early show and then the late show you'd come back pissed on the onions and shit. How would you like to go on,
it's smelling like a fucking onion, knowing it's not you that I don't mind, smelling like a onion and dealing with it
one. I never go out on my way to smell. Like a fucking onion, I always try to wash your armpits
as my car smells like pure straight rotten, fucking ass.
This morning, I was thinking I gotta go not blow this thing apart. I gotta go
armor all this blow this apart and take that little place
when my asshole sits system like fuckin chop it up with again,
yeah, you just need a new, a new seat, Jesus Christ.
This, that is mother, Fucking House Gox, I love it. So
you coming down in two weeks. Absolutely not this weekend
and that the following weekend, but the weekend after that cause Terry's leaving the weekend after that for Nashville, okay I'll.
I think I grow men's. Kid has a birthday, but I'm sure I'm sure, to work out how to look at this.
Add the counseling, but I can't wait to come down putting the fucking kid we're going to take a skinny dip in the hole
All you lose their mind these I ever
been with us for seven months, the star,
that I see now. I can't imagine doing what you used to do when mercy was that young. Like
six. In the morning, the running with the four year old, I shaved my beard, the four year old yelled at me and said I like
his face go back to your room. I don't
yeah, always she Isn t she doesnt Father, I dont know how
I don't know how you do it. Man, that's
I'm I'm with a couple days a week.
Doing it all day, everyday and then you're going out to the store till two in the morning Jesus like I said I had to pick a fucking fly and that's why
pick the flag of my family for right. Now
right now. She needs me she's at an age where she likes to come home. To me,
absolutely really at the time last Wednesday, when I left for the day she had a hard time that morning, when I left and that night, when I got home, she was fucking sleeping on my chair waiting for me. Oh that's, nice
so that whole game is changed. We've all changed and I'm happy that we did what we
every month and I look at you with your day when I saw that video, I can't tell you,
I gotta be Asher brother to my. I was was very happy for you, I'm very happy for what you've done.
I knew you always had it if I would have checked on you now and you would have been heavier than when you left. I don't think I'd be talking to you. No more
because I know you're a month away from given up, but you didn't give up leading you look great. Thank you. Man and you are not a great things happening
Who knows maybe one day when I quit the podcast you and Michael, get together and start up a fucking production company
two biggest mother fuckers out in the podcasting arena? Right now you know, but let's do it now. I appreciate it. May I
I did I those a few months where I still
the way I did, but I it's been
come on, it's crazy. It's gonna be a year and a half. Now, whatever it's been since we left and its
I appreciate it. I miss you. I miss you I I do I'm excited to meet MIKE and all that stuff, but it's cuz it is
scary, there's a lot of people. You know whether you
lose a job you break up.
It's a scary thing this to basically start over, but it I don't know it's so
so far things have turned out pretty. Well, let's hope they really fucking. Well. If I consider that I tell you the name of this
Yes, I suppose you have run bottom, Bulgaria, you,
I point those missiles up and you did that you and you didn't
Rock bottom, is professional way. You hit rock bottom
as a physical way, I think that
everything about that way. The only thing that made you forget about what the fuck you doing the stuff in your goddamn face yeah. I had the same problem that way: bro
It wasn't just you, you do me and my wife only miss one thing: yum yum fucking Dona.
that's one thing. All three of us have come to the conclusion that we do miss Yum, Yum him down,
there. There is really there's no doughnuts by you I just haven't. I can have a known at the head of the already that already doughnuts America search of African down in deciding I drive around looking for adults,
I'm trying in time you do
there's a place called Rock in Worcester that I just I look on Instagram all day, I'll bring you someone had come and visit it supposed to be found.
in our major, but I don't. I love donuts.
do I donuts in a day I would go to yum Yums you
If you saw that girl known that girl knew me at yum, Yum donuts, showing you know, she was great
Has probably got robbed eight times since we've come left, they got twenty two Mexicans and then one
the Beretta wondrously hunch, albeit with the bullets across his fucking chest.
No, that's the name of this podcast cause. I think
I have rock bottom in emotional level. That's when I was all fucked up the xanax and everything.
I think that you would just lost on what you know you had to do. You go home at night. It was kind of a sad existence,
for both of us. To be honest, you you are
hours we bottle Putnam LAD. I was within the union, joint life
now enjoying life on life fucking terms, so
I'm happy! You came on until thank you for the happy birthday video.
Thank you happy them. How Miss tasted like the skin on my deck paternal? Now
You're not bring you said you try a little bit, it's good just don't eat the whole sry fuck. I wouldn't try that shit. If you put fuckin pussy juice in it, you understand me,
at ranch. You gotta try a little hummus pot. I tried ranch when they had the cinnamon in the fucking hot sauce, something Sir Roger yeah I'll bring a spicy hummus not on the spicy. Almost certainly take that homeless and put it on your toes and see how it sniffs
smelling go fuck. This smells like the fucken seven eleven. When I go to get a lottery ticket
stop playing the lottery
packing, never win Weis, never dog you're, the fucking bullshit much. They give you the ticket ripped up. When you
Push the lottery, don't even push it into the computer. He knows it's two dollars that goes straight in his pocket. I found out
place. The same bet on I was on draftkings when was in Philly cause it's legal there that that that Cincinnati
plus four. Was nice? That was a good bet like that yeah,
led by when I thought it did. You take the under two now
see I I fucked up. I did this internet plus four, but the night before did
you have seen fucking
if the last half so I I ended up winning sixty bucks, but I lost the first fight in New York city. But then I came back strong with TIA with the dude who drink side of the shoe hide to evolve, say I love it boosts from Falcon draft kings.
and then Sunday I bet that I lost all my props, but fucking Cincinnati under was drunk represent
draft kings today, even though a lot of people I bet right now, you'll be back for March madness.
this body so we'll be back for more?
Spock men this, but I love you. I love you.
down begins, will make some videos when you're down here and show these motherfuckers what it's like to eat at Empire Szechuan. I know
One place you wanna go to get yellow general chow.
the actual flock szechuan twice cooked pork. Could
delicious we'll get a couple egg rolls seafood, dumplings? Okay,
couple sushi rolls, will mix the flags beliefs
you don't know what it's like to eat. Some nice fucking twice cooked pork and inhale a nice fuckin soft crab shell, sushi Swu depth and wasabi. You feel your asshole pucker up like Fuckin Lindsey,
all hands fucking pussy lips.
He was banned from eating sushi. You said I was too boring eating sushi I'll, be yeah because you eat like shit shit. You eat California roll two pieces of shrimp. You could need
been died? You can't even get like a fucking sushi disease or
Apennine remember that lady a couple of weeks ago either but went to an all. You can eat japanese sushi place and she fucked and went to the hospital and
intimated. She was like I'm going back to eat again that fucking that fucking standstill, Susan
You that's been there for two hours. That's what you
when you come here, I'm going to turn you into some soft shell crab, okay,
it was Tom. Okay,
Balkan Whale fuckin, asshole baked. They have well ass. All these Chinese.
People eat right here in these close to them, saying that that fuckin
hey the sushi Atsushi. Damn was world class bro
It was expensive. His fuck.
You went and got rape the lunch fifty dollars for lunch by yourself
yeah fuck, my wife going to kill me but got tired.
This neighborhood happier if anyone ever goes back there, they went away. I was something happening at the spicy tuna.
oh yeah, and they got a nice fucking temporary, temporary, whatever the fuck that is Xenforo. That's thirteen fuckin whitewash a point.
Yeah. It's spoken fried just a piece of shrimp.
the shrimp zero. I know thirteen or fourteen point sure if you put a couple
can yellow tail and some Masaki, whatever the fuck
Australian sauce, you fucking over the point limit, so
I understand it's true. They put sugar in that rice,
I'm sure the shit that makes it sticky is not goofy. I just read that and then somebody told me about it. So hey. What do you want from me and I'm saying we're just trying to stay alive
I love you. Cock suck I'll, see you in three weeks, not this weekend, not too far.
And we can march forth, but the following: if you can, if not we'll do the following
Okay, I'll I'll, like all good podcasts on Sunday, will take it right. The empire szechuan and you get in the car with mom and shoot up I'll. Give you a couple of abs fucking.
Both for the drive
twenty minutes to write your suicide note, I can't wait. I love you. Stay black have a great day. Thank you for coming on the joint suck. I love,
I miss you, love and message. You buddy. Thank you, my black Keyser, edit MIKE
yo. What back I'm happy you fucking enjoyed it man. It was great to see him. We
Great laughs, you know I could
you guys see that when we're together, we get right back to it
a lot of people say to me: you're. My wife said to that whenever she goes with, you ever consider, bringing it back, I'm not in a million fucking years,
You see, Seinfeld bring him back his show, no and as much as whatever I think about Seinfeld. I pay he's very smart and he knows that you can never
you know led Zeppelin should come back. I think they would never fucking be even a third of what they were, because you can't.
She'll lightning in a fucking bottle, even if Kurt Cobain me to come back to your walk
I'm a fucking casket using you think would be jam fuck. No, it's it's! It's different that way.
set the certain time and a place and time
Well, that was all great. I really enjoyed my open my days, I really fucking dead,
and now sitting here after two years of just sitting here and thinking
Christ, the best part of my career was
open mic. I miss that comradery in the
did. I miss all that- and
wasn't comedy in a professional level that I missed by no means I don't miss theaters and comedy clubs. I missed doing the open mics where you
and then you split an order of onion rings. That was your fucking dinner. That was
I was almost unique
thirty grams of protein fuck you
done and half water. That's why I got the four hundred fifty fucking pounds, but that's what you did
that was the beauty of that camaraderie. Nobody cared about being
on tv. Nobody cared about having a number one c d: all you care about was being funny.
That's what I ended up missing
in time. I think that I'll miss that so much I'll just go and do open mics or something and get a fuck.
a couple laughs and go home just as a hobbyist. I do miss that in know asked me: do you miss it
I do miss that part of it, but I don't miss everything that old stuff.
That's what I'm at guys! I'm happy!
If enjoyed the podcast,
happy were on Fuckin spot Spotify, oh shit, and that's it and that's that I love you mother fuckers. Thank you for watching this week have a great week. Thank you
The birthday wishes and more on mother thought is next week it.
I march, so
stay black have a great week and I'll see you mother Monday morning, tip top Magoo love. You
alright. I want to thank LISA yet
I wanted a mic, but, most importantly, I want to thank you, mother, fucking savages for always having my back. Their join is brought to you by Express VPN. Listen. You've heard me talk about how important it is to have a vpn to protect your online privacy, especially if, like me, you like to see creepy things but choosing a vpn. Your trust is just as important
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Transcript generated on 2022-03-19.