« Unlocking Us with Brené Brown

Brené with Judd Apatow on Vulnerability and Laughter


I'm talking with Judd Apatow, who has directed, produced, and written many of the biggest comedy films and hit TV shows of the last two decades. We look at what's funny, why it's funny, and why laughter creates connection. We also uncover that thin line between humor and grief and what it means to tell the stories of our lives in a way that we recognize ourselves and our shared humanity.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hi everyone, I'm Bernay Brown, and this is unlocking ass today or fuckin, with Judd Appetite filmmaker actor and Gideon he's the founder of appetite productions through which he is divine. Can produced many the television series in movies, that we are falling love wealth! For me, my first love affair with John was freaks and geeks he's so darn many films. I just bored, I'd obsessed with Juliet Naked, May at last, a portrait of the Avis brothers, which was a documentary, the big sick, one of my all time, favorite films, he was very involved in girls on HBO bridesmaids, forgetting Marshall now aren't he's territory here, Anchor man, the legend of RON, Burgundy, tell us and taken nights. He just part of our culture and so many good and important ways. Jed's nuth
is a fictional eyes account of comedian, an actor PETE Davidson's life called the king of Staten Island. It's out, on premium video on demand and unjust. Or to talk to Chad about what's funny, why it's funny and the thin line between humor and grief and what it means to tell the story of our lives in a way where we can recognise ourselves and where we understand our shared humanity shut up at all? ok welcome, Jed! I'm here happy to be here, dreams being here. I had the same dream weird I had a million questions, for you can just jump in. Please jumper acquired myself emotionally to open up to you so, I've never been more vulnerable than right now. I've read the books and I feel, like all that has been in preparation for this podcast to this moment.
This man we're gonna go there. I want to start with asking here. Are you quarantining, I am? I am in the house with the full family as we speak, A roller coaster of emotions, Usually one of us is melting down per day. So if I got is like a carousel they'll be three really happy family members and one person melting and then it just switches and we take turns and that's how we get through, and you have is where everyone melts at the same time, are you have to a critical mass of melt? Oh yeah, we have flashpoints does a family. We could see it coming like. I think it's gonna get we this morning in the whole thing could blow a moment we ve done good at how quickly get to forget, nurse and understanding that this is a very unique situation that is highly stressful and I think that were treating us
and each other well in the aftermath of those moments, because things you're, deciding you're deciding with safe and how to behave and how to move forward with what you need to get done. Under these circumstances, there is so much to debate about what to do and how to spend your days so but the other partner that really funny. As you know, both my kids are here and it's so great having them here, because I don't know if they would be hanging out with us at all at this moment I do wonder why do the other one? Seventeen and those are certainly ages, where the kids are in saying I can spend more time with my parents, so we're like this is all great. The time they would never play Bore games with us. They would never have dinner that lasted this long with us were quietly appreciating all those special moments. Now, my twenty out, if left to go
back cheer she's got an internship starting for the summer. It was the most amazing ten weeks. Let me ask you Russia just before we got. I guess I am so curious about how this is working with everyone. So what? If, if there's a melt down between you and Leslie during Quarantine, what is it going to be about? What is the meltdown going to be again? What's what are the heart like out of Sid developed Billy's like for me. It's guiche seems a pediatrician and I once certain tee from ham about what we can do that safe and he can't he's not again. It isn't. A crystal ball aegis has of educated gas, and so, if we're gonna melt down about something, it's either going to be, because I can't get enough certainty out of him to make me feel safe or it's because I just lose my shit about not being able to do all the stuff I normally can do at the rate. I can
and I need to blame someone like that's that that would be my that would be my draw during this thing. I think we have a variation of that which is, I might watch too much of the news, listen to too many podcast where people recite medical information that I don't really understand, then I get in my fight. Flight mode, and then I walk in and take it out on everybody else that scene, so there you there upset about it here. Let's be hanging out, haven't breakers end and then I might come in and just billing did you hear that they don't? If immunity works for people who ve at there like make him, I'm just making a salad here. Can you tell me about
but he said, oh god that tell you something like ok to this. This is the accidental excellent sag way into everything. I want to talk to you about including your new movie, the King Staten Island, which I cannot wait to talk to you about all of this. So what you just did made me laugh because I that's what I do you like. I go in and Steve like you know, seeing their and Charlie Spain, the guitar and everything's. Ok, I'm like we're all gonna die because my terror is not seemed up with their chill moment and you know it and vice versa. Sometimes right, I'm sorry, I have so many questions to you about funny about what's funny, what's not money why we laugh and why you keep with so many of your fill whose knocking me around a lot worse.
So there is recognition you just seeing that someone has the same problems as you were the same arguments as you makes you laugh. So if you are having the same, types of conflict in your house, as I am in my house when I describe it, it makes you laugh also You feel less alone and in some way I oh yeah. So ok, so I'm not crazy everyone's having these weird moments. Where were sick- and I think a lot of my movies are pointing out moments like that again. This is forty there's a sequence where Poland go away for the weekend to a hotel, that's an hour away. They just get along great make it look rakers that the kids are in or out, and they forget all the things that they always argue about, and they just look into each other's eyes knew. Why do we ever fights audience you ve, had the experience of forgetting
how many things your forced, the debate as parents and how it put you in conflict a lot of the time and when you don't have to debate the thing suddenly, you realize what you love each other and that's usually things that I'm trying to identify and write about. I guess it's one thing I work has in common. Is that talking about the and sad in a way where people feel less alone like I? Never. I never thought I think about comedy a lot. I never thought about recognition being inherently funny. Are we laughing at the fact that we it was just ass. Is that why we're laughingly? Why is recognition funny, I'm not really sure, there's somebody some greater talking about like why actually make people out of the thing that people there's a citizen's episode where Homer she says he's watching something and cracking up, and he just goes its
because it's true absorbs earlier, that is all it takes to make. You laugh is, oh, my god, I didn't know anywhere else in the world, thought that way or did things I gas France's in this is forty Paul Red, always sneaks into the bay, I'm just a play- video games on his Ipad and pretending owing to the bathroom from a lot for a long time, but really he's just on his Ipad We may that movie, which was nine years ago when we shot it, no one really talked about it. Now we all know that we all do the right, but it was. It was one of the first times we have seen that joke in something you escaping to get on your phone phone as a little weird many vacation from the stresses of your life, How angry that makes your spouse had it just pisses me off gas note how hard work it is. Our phone addiction is a big fight in our house and were
a in different ways at different levels. Doing different one person might be online shopping and somebody else's on tik and I'm tweeting, and we all get mad at each other? because we're on the phone, but we're all doing it, but minds most important and yet is something not understood, yeah no event like I'm trying to save the world here, cancer AIDS, I'm looking at this list, and might you know my jet appetite briefing binder and I read through this list of films that you ve been involved in produce executive produced? What's the difference for small, what's it executive producer and produce No one really knows, but really it is different in television and television the executor might the show runner, the head writer, you know sometimes be a high level writer or some into a production coming
Movie a producer is higher than the executor producer. Whatever means its own? Producers are creative in their involved in all the creative issues of the script in the movie, Somebody'S- is our very much about getting you the money to make the movie and making sure you spend it in the right way and some producers don't do anything they might have work for a company that gave you the money and you never you never talk to them after they rightly. The check is so that everyone last about. Credit, because there is no way to know exactly what anyone does to earn them. Ok, I'm look
You're less and I dont know what all these things mean. But when I do know is that some of the funniest most poignant movies in my film consuming experience have been in these movies. I be starting with by asking my love affair, with your work had to have started with freaks and geeks. Yes, but yeah. Let me just how you like the big sick, Juliet Naked May at last week. Is a documentary on the aided. By virtue I love. How did you learn to understand people? That's a good question. I never thought about that. Well, I think, as a child of divorce, you start paying attention, but they will feel safe right if you like. I don't know if these people are giving
the best advice because they are fighting with each other. So clearly one of them must be wrong in all these situations. So just disturbs your sense of I can rely on the guidance of these people because if they hate each other, then what does that mean about me If my mom, it's my dad, I'm gonna like my dad and vice versa. Scrambles your head a little bit and it made feel like you, better figure stuff out You better know how you can survive in this way. World, and they were both very loving, an incredibly supportive of everything. I won to do it. I think I've been able to do it because they always said you can do it the kid. I didn't really understand why they were fighting another guy. Really learned what their fights were about in the actual. Reasons why they behave in certain ways, till grey
before my mom died, and maybe in the last couple years, in some conversations with my dad. So it was all a mystery to me No one sent me down and said he is exactly what we're going through here's, what we're fighting about. It was all top secret. And so I didn't know that made me feel like I couldn't trust their opinions, because I know it shared anything. With me, and very rarely would they in deep way girl? What are you going through? How are you doing right now? I think they might have been too lost in the conflict to be able to make it about me, so I felt at times word in that way and as a result, I started looking for answers and a lot of those answers came through Indians who complain about the world and tried to process everything that was unfair about the world's I love the marks brothers in George Carlin people like that. Who said that this is
That's bullshit! These people are lying to you in and I loved those people My dad would drive me at night to comedy clubs and couldn't have been more supportive and my mom a job at a common club as a hostess after they got divorced, and I always thought she only. That job because she knew I wanted a watch comedy shows when I was sixteen and what could they have paid her? I miss you pay. Someone is see people to come and clubs there was only a gift to me, but you never said that she never said. I took this job for you and only decades later than realize it made me cry when I thought about like Wait a second! You only did that's all. I could had access to that world. She took this job. We
owned a restaurant? When I was a kid and the bartender left any opened up, some comedy clubs and an after she got divorced? You got a job working for him, so she went from upper middle class. Person to kind of broke seeding people in a comedy club for the bartender who used to work for her and that it was a tough time, and then in the middle of it, she gave me this gift and that's what I saw committees for the first time when I was sixteen and eastern Comedy Club in Southampton where she was sitting people Oh I didn't get. I became obsessed with iguana. How do you do comedy? I started interviewing comedians and then I got a job as a busboy at a comedy club. Just like I watched the shows, but I had a a real hyper vigilance. That was both help.
In really unhealthy. You shouldn't be fifteen obsessed with what your job is going to be. When you add ons yeah- and it certainly help me get where I am today, but it also made me super- crazy because it's a form of work, a hall ism, it's like being in terror, all the time that you're not gonna, be able to take care of yourself so the hardest part about it. Is it's hard to shut it off, because you're so driven, but driven out of terror that the world's gonna fall? so it makes your good producer because you anticipate problems in our Europe. Ok and where the pockets of Africa with the word was for someone. That is too. On top of everything else, are functioning. So it's all that, as is the super over functioning person, but then you're. Payment. They ask everyone around you, because you're always looking for a problem that hasn't happened. Yet you literally China's
It's like minority report you're trying to find the problem before it happens and solve it before it happens, and you're rewarded in business, but it's not nice for your family to be around so question about that away. I've got a question about your problem anticipated. I know that again in our work, we call it foreboding joy, the terror that comes with extreme in too much joy too much too much goodness, and I have about Harlow it it's a hard one. So I think about this question, because when I look at all the films that you ve been a part of when I got to watch an early screener of the king of Staten Island, which was which is a perfect example of this question that I'm gonna ask I, don't understand fully, and maybe it sought to be understood, the razor thin lying between
It's a razor thin line of vulnerability that separates what breaks my heart and what makes me laugh. I don't understand it helped me understand at like for even going back to freezing geeks, but I mean also there's a scene in the big sick that was like there's a very thin line between you're breaking my heart you're making me laugh and it so confusing. I you know I never thought about it in those terms I, but I do what are you talking about in this scene? It comes to mind when you say it is a scene. Freaks and games where bill is at a game of spin the bottle and he feels unattractive to the girls, are playing with the pretty girls and
They start playing another game, seven minutes in Heaven where, like you, have to go in the closet with somebody. They spend the bottle and now the prey cheerleader has spent seven minutes in a closet with bill and she really does want to its pay full to see the look in her eyes at having to do this and they go in the closet and its dark, so they start talking and she's, so ass to be there and he's really shy and sweet, and they just start talking a little bit any makes her laugh and in the dark It actually makes with targets, but I doubt it She does realises his cool. Does in the dark, sees you decide she likes him and you feel it happened and Martin STAR Draggers. Your genius is doing it.
As the unfairness of that judgment that kids go through if they're like do you know the perfect idea of beauty to other kids when in fact, because kids in the world, without the show, is about the people, outcasts- are actually the cool kids totally and, and then this where she kissed his heaven. You believe it that in moment like, she saw the beauty in this kid, and they have they have a real connection. Just for a moment and that's! Maybe the definition of this very sweet and it's funny at its heart, Breaking that it also cut up, opens your hard up in a beautiful way. And ass. I will always work. I've tried to do in your writing. As you re a lot about vulnerability and shame that's what the forty or virgin is about. As someone who's, the shame to admit that he didn't ever make a connection with somebody and he's afraid that if he does, It'll go terribly wrong in the past.
Does. I didn't like him or they'll, think he's a freak, and so as a committed premise itself, like a silly movie, owes the forty or virgin. I wonder, he's gonna have sex, but really it's about shame. You ended in its about body who thinks that he's going confirmation that he's unlovable and he's terrified to find out. If he's a so that was our approach to it. Can we approaches very seriously the psychology of this very seriously and is so funny with funny characters, but at the core of it is that issue I very little? I think I've seen anything that you ve ever done or been a part of that does not have vulnerability and heartbreak. As part of the story, I just don't. I mean I'm thinking of them every one of my favorite movies
I just saw my kids like, oh my god. Oh we really watching that again, unlike Juliet naked. Oh, yes, yes, yes, in all of those movies. You know are about people trying to connect movies to direct my Jesse Prince, who work on a ton of episodes of girls is great director, and I think we all connected also to the idea of really annoying pop culture obsessed. And because it couldn't rough driving, everybody away with their craziness, and I am always interested in the music. You know we did work hard and pop star in red. Renzo record label in this is forty, so I'm always interested in musicians and in a lot of ways, that's what you peed is like a musician. In a way. You know, I think you are attracted to beat the same way, they're attracted to certain vulnerable rock stars who who feel
who who see like their wounded in some way and in your fascinated to hear stories from them and to see how they are doing and how their evolving and now I must be- the kind of characters and most interested in me. I think I think that most of my movies just about people travelling through the day. You know. Need villains. They don't need superpowers, it's hard enough, just again the people around you, ll, find love or have the conference Still I be around anybody, that's a very difficult thing, and so as I make my movies, I do see what similar about them, and that must be something that I'm working out in it some way through writing these types of stories about people gather just deeply human. Tell everyone about that. The premise of the king of TAT, I learned what it's about
he Davidson story. Tell us about all about in real life, be how you came to it really PETE since Father was a fire fighter who I'd on nine eleven and people, seven years old, when that happened and it led to a lot of issues that anyone would have if they were seven years old and had to go through a trauma also we given national trauma that also never really goes away. People talk about a constantly and we will talk about that at length. I would always say to him you're my mom died twelve years ago, but no intent. About it. So it's I'm not re injured by it on a daily basis. Angle I go years without someone mentioning my mom to me and I think it's a good experience it most of us no nothing about when something like that is constantly.
Imprinted on you every single day of your life right, and so we started talking about. You're making a movie about what would happen if he didn't find comedy in real life is very ambitious person if he didn't find comedy, and he was living at home as mom has really smart sister goes to college and is Besides that, maybe she should be more social and false with another fire fighter, and now this slacker. It is really having a lot of problems has to try to buy under this potential step, dad who he hates and forces them to confront everything that has been an obstacle in his life and Bilbil plays a raid fire fighter he's either. One of our great comedians in Bristol may places mom and Sleep Bishop means in the movie in a dollar mark appetite.
Polly and regular, alas, all sorts great people and it is in the rear comedy which has an exploration of grief, and it's about you, how Finally, let me I gotta you gonna say that again, the rare comedy that as of exploration of grief, yes, what part of that is rare? I think it's a you know it's a difficult subject to attack directly, and usually people dont. Do it in a comedy and it has been attempted, but two go all the way into it to where you really feel it is not something that people try to do that often the great example of it is terms of endearment, which is always the moon Jesus. I look up to as one of the greatest movies of all time, because its human it so alive and it's about
many different things and family, but is also a comedy about cancer, and James Brooks always hits that balance of comedy and trauma so perfectly, and he someone that I've worked for the really look up his work- has been a big inspiration to me and that's what we wanted to do with this movie. We wanted to make to tell us: about how someone might grow- how how he might get to the next place, so they just one comment: it's not They won't be in love it's inside, but I will tell you that when I was watching at and your daughter playing the smart younger sister goes off to college. I thought whatever that thing.
That I can't name that God has and is an all his films Maud has it when she, you couldn't take her eyes off of her in that film like when she was talking about the attention in that PETE's character and the foam demands of every one in the family and now who's gonna worry about you all the time and don't take your crazy shit out a mom and like I've been in those conversations like it was as real as me sitting here right now. I guess I just thought: well, she's got her dad's whatever. That thing is where you can straddle that razor
in a vulnerable. He aroused the knowing laughter of what it means to be universally human, and this is hard as shit right now. Whatever that thing is that you have, she clearly has well you know the main thing with a ceiling that is a peep is a very grave robber. Writer, an artist because he observed something about a dynamic with his sister that he expressed to me in deep Cyrus who wrote the movie with him, and he found a way to communicate something that maybe it's hard for him to just say and life which, as I understand your frustration with me, I understand that I take up a lot of the oxygen in the room and in the family, and so Peat has talked a lot about
There are ways to connect and apologize to people in his family that are easier to do by. Writing seem like that, so that his sister can feel heard and understood. That is easy to make a scene of it than has walk in her room and talk to her about it and deep about been fight about things and sharing Pittsburgh. Really smart and deep about opening up two things and sharing them a way to make them both funding and entertaining the same talk yeah I mean, and the generosity of his writing about himself was was. Really big to me: shirk as he doesn't have to share any of the thing about peat is. He has dealt with a tragedy by being completely honest and train
parent. Where most be will my push it down and just suffer with it for the rest of their lives. Peat has shared it and been opening. Pete never puts on a false mask. He tells you what he's feeling all time is completely open. And that's the way he approaches life which, if I'm in a bad mood, you're gonna, know it I'm gonna get method. You gotta know. I'm not going to pretend at all and especially as a writer, it's incredible, because he is willing to go as deep as you can go with him and he does understand the cathartic nature of that, and also how important it is for other people. I e is aware that helps other people through these things, for him to show them. How he's feelings the movies fictional you're, not gonna movie happened. Right, but it's true. It's all true! That's all emotionally true and yet uneasy impedes eyes.
How much like the movies part documentary. You feel him throughout this performance and it's it's. It's great and mod mod takes after her mother. Much more than me, Leslie is a very raw present real actress, who also knows how to be funny simultaneously, which almost no one can do. Let it go play in straight and hard and funny and true
all the same time the same minute, yeah yeah, it's it doesn't make any sense. You really know how it happened, such as it comes out both funny and heartbreaking. Simultaneously, when I was watching its way that you said that about the documentary when I was watching the film me, I laughed hard and music is a big part of it to this. It was for me, reminiscent of watching the big sick, like what I was done with both of this films I had cried. I have left a lot and I just felt better about people in general. We are just the human race I think in general. I also felt I guess I left that thumb. The king sent an island feelin protective of peat,
Sure what then was so that we talked about that when you watch the movie, you feel like someone impedes life tracking him worrying about him riding the ride with PETE his arms here dram his Reno rejoicing about him and that definitely was what we were going for, which is when, Sometimes, when someone struggling everyone around them becomes consumed with helping them or just being worry that they're gonna be ok and that some people wanted to run about because he has a real awareness his mom has been such a hero to him. That
just so there for him dedicated her whole life work as a nurse at a school and an emergency room simultaneously from most of his childhood after that is true, and I think your care him yet figure him in his sister. She just really gave her whole life to make sure that he was okay and his sister was ok. And and allow the movie is an acknowledgement of that. What that chuck and also a way of saying I know I've been hard on you and for young man either to be able to to so early in life is kind of incredible IDA. I dont know how quickly, its attempts to landmines are working here to come to that wisdom. I was
laugh happiness. It you know most of us made twelve goofy movies before we try to do something this emotionally ambitious. We don't do it first, so he hasn't she right. It is pretty remarkable the acting in the thumb, peat and everyone else who is really stirring. Don't you think it's me, I guess take aspect for eastern by their performances. Yeah, I mean you, don't frizzle anymore it to me in the movie one of our greatest actresses and her performance is over. So good. You know when we saw the big screen when we will test the movie would notice things that she was doing, that we don't even notice on the screens and the editing room. We had to see it Forty feet high and then we were like wow, just the emotion and the little details that she was sharing would but suddenly become visible, had hold. Other layer would reveal itself- and I think
She was so good that it made everyone want to get to her level. I think that she was the north star, yeah yeah, just She did that she did so much internal dialogue on her face. Yes, yeah and some of you no till you get an editing that even did it. You cannot tell on this at what happened. Then you'd start cutting it together. No, oh, my god! Look good Marisa did here and Bill Bird is really global actor and he so funny. But then he saw emotionally accessible and sweet and a surprising way- and I realize he has yet to be loves- beat beat loves, and so even though the movie they dislike each other for most of the movie, you feel this affection chemistry between them, because the movie is a little bit of a love story between a kid trying to decide. If he's going to open his heart, the potential step dad can is an you. You so hope it he gets. A dad
And this is not keys Jesus. This is not an easy set up, because it's not just any step dad he's a fire fighter. I had this is introduction for Meda Wilbur other person. I can take my eyes off when they're having that scene at the pool, yeah there's a big fight Seen with again. He just left let it go on each other really scream at each other and falls apart and yeah. He knew he somebody that I spoke as most of his career on his stand up and he has only specials Netflix specials in their booty. There's goods they get, but he's also has other gifts which it hasn't been his main focus. So I got lucky to get him and to be able to show all these other sides of him in the move, because so much of what we do comes out of improvisation and rehearsals right, and so, if we read the script, anyone performs
allow. This is discovered because we want to create space for something magical to happen. We wanna play a little that we want them to really feel the scene and they go. You know I wouldn't go that way. I would go a different way was a scene where Bill and Marisa are having coffee and is the first time they are No each did they just met each other under very negative circumstances, and they they begin to forts and they're. Both uncontrolled equally haven't been in this situation for a long time and we are trying to get the scene right and we can't get it right, because I had written it wrong. I Ruth I voted the way I would always right it is. I can never she guy who just keeps making jokes about how bad he is added an in built, pull me sightings. You know what I wouldn't be bad and I'd be confident, but that does not me and as other people,
let's try to save up, and then it was fantastic, but I was just trying to lead. Doesn't like neurotic jus from long island on some level, I'm making the mistake of making me. You know apologetic terrible and making mistakes. Unease like now, but that is- and I would just confident and then when he did it, how Marisa reacted, Jasper and so funny and she's just blushes and yeah firefighter from in their lives. Unsigned island would not act the way I would act and that's why I want to there is a lot and I want to let people make a big contribution in writing contribution, because they know things that I dont know people seemed very in their power, so that makes sense
me. I got coffee shop scene is cut out where I was near because they meet and are not great circumstances. Funny circumstances mean funny slash like Ethel, not funny, circumstances of apparent but funny, but that's where I kind of foam of with him coffee shop, seen yeah like that, you see he's a good guy, a mania for me. I've always been like addicted to reading self help. Books rise, I'd go to therapy when I was in my early twenties, ever really bad break up and. Let's go broke up and made she said one day you gonna realise how little you know right now, which devastated right up like you wanted in realise how little you know she says: that's tough, thousands, I did a governor. I'm saying you know I just like I'm in the lake and
the lake and I'm swimming in the lake, and I like John, get in there and you're on the dark and you're on the dark, and I come out in and you know what afterwards I'm not a lake data to you. Doctor. We ve all data, the dark guy, I started gonna therapy. I remember the first. There was, I went to add a little doll. He called little buddy and he'd. Make me talk to my inner child, a big behold this doll, and God how you do. A little body have conversations like eater trifles cotton procedures is wearing arrival and saw you I went to all sorts of different therapists, but I think it. Writer, I love so how bugs because great examples of fights and conflict and is always story oh Rachel fight. Their bars, because when she was young, her father abandoned the families or when things come up at work. She said:
that ever whatever the story is in itself help up. So I always read TAT seven, because I felt I get help me understand people and cared. And what their motivations are and then, hopefully it helped me If absorbing a lot of it into this day, I I'll I'll go. I really think about these boats. Your books at a big impact on me, his. I never thought about those words like vulnerability. Wasn't my lexicon of how he looked at myself like fear embarrass fear, shame fear being found out of confirmation that I'm lesser there had enough. Yet again, just understanding that or just having the courage to take a risk, because I that's, I write about the lab, how hard it is to put yourself out there and take a risk how much of the like yourself to take a shot to see if you can do something
and connect with somebody. I think a lot of that comes up in a lot of my movies. How hard it is to be honest with people once speak. Your truth is your so afraid. They're gonna say the thing you don't wanna hear you it's let's weird about that. Is you tell me, take those moments I tell you who is who is vulnerability, shoes get channeling. Yes, I learned a lot from him because he always people were mask most of the time. People are not honest. Almost all the time they are trying to. Present themselves in a certain way as confidante or whatever, doing- is really not how their feeling inside and when they are genuine with with you and when they are honest, its shocking
It never happens and what it does it's a huge deal for something to look at you and know. I love you or I'm afraid of this earth, and that was his theory but with cheated. I think it's a little bit different, because PETE whole thing is that he's transparent, not what he's appearance I'd. So it's because after all these years are you I finally workers on who is the opposite. Gary riches, he refuses to wear a false mask at any moment. That's not how he engaged in the world and it makes them feel better to not have evidence. Stress, of being full of it and that the latter Santa was about all these people acting like they're, doing great, who actually our into their ego maniacs and are not happy unless the ratings are high and there, on top world and it was a completely different idea. Reminds me Chris Rock said: when you meet someone for the first time, you are not meeting them your meeting, their representative. Yes, that's it yeah yeah, it's interesting ass! You he departed
the rare commie that tackles grief cause- maybe maybe you and that Senate said something that I was trying to say from the very beginning, which is in the films that you produce executive produce right. I'm thinking also about your role and girls, because this was certainly true. I watch I watch the whole thing from Tipp detail. Five times, probably it doesn't have to be bullshit to be funny and in fact the true or it is and the more willing you are to look at grief and vulnerability and fear and shame and not use humor soft application, but to laugh about the universality of the fate of the fact that were laughing at we thought it was just ass like it makes Kommeni a very
powerful tool in the world. Doesn't it yeah, I think so, and I would say to people I think, the more specific you get, the more universal you got. So PETE story might feel very specific to him. Connected to this national tragedy, but when you really look out- and we all have our own personal massive tragedy me loss in our life is as began to us as PETE's losses to him, and so by hearing about him in his story, you know in a we all think yeah I have. I have a bunch of those, no sudden loss people I cared about suddenly being God, and so you relate to him
in a lot of ways, and yet that is what we are always trying to do. I did it took a long time to understand that I really thought that my life is boring, wasn't worth writing about and when I started writing about it and just telling the details of things that had happened. You know the doktor showing For the birth of our child and being means us just simple things that I really oh areas, so many people have stories like that and and that that is where all the good stuff is its in the simplest things it's in talking to Maud about technology and her not wanting to play with sticks yeah, rather she rather beyond her phone, and so that's what I've tried to focus on most of the time. Sometimes I just wanna be stupid to then just just come up with silly tangs yeah yeah. I'm ok tell the King Staten Island coming
ass. What's it like birthing, a movie in the world during a pandemic, are you I tried not to think about it when, when all started. I fun, though the least important thing in the world right now. Is this movies I'm going to try to give zero energy idea of when it will be seen, and so I just my brain down and thought. Well, I like the movie it sitting on someone's, comes somewhere at universal. It it'll see the light of day at some point, and I tried to do spoken more important things and then, when we started talking about how to release it, it became very clear that the movie in a lot of ways, is about what we're going through right now, it's about first responders and nurses and firemen and people are willing to die to help us about people who are that we are willing to take that risk, and you know it is about
heroes and about the families of heroes and how it affects them, and it is a movie I was made in tribute to pizza, mom and dad and. Because it's about grief and sudden loss, I thought well, is now what everyone's going through right now and wouldn't be so wrong for me to hold onto this movie and wait a year till all this passes, because I wanted to be seen in it the inner and needs to be seen right now, it's a level hardly makes me laugh and absent processes. I I became proponent of getting out. There seems possible, as I thought strangely it's a movie that could be helpful right now. I hope I actually not the same thing when, when I was one You know, there's there's a pretty point yet seen that is, it is threaded through a part of the movie. I think it's in the trailer,
well where peat is saying he rose like my dad. Firefighters shouldn't have families this not fair for the four he rose to have families, because sometimes the heroes dont come home and then then what and I have to say steep semi in this- maybe you know in his explanation about yeah: there are, he rose, there are people who are paying their lives on the line, and I had to tell you that, like I just kept thinking about everything that first responders positions- nurses, social workers, people that are
using right now. I just think the timeliness of this movie is important. It's important that Albania rhythm, aiming as ever greater, will happy roll out of stuff to watch, so I hope it's it gives them a break, but at the same time it provides a whole bunch more than that- and I am very proud of it. My brother I'll need to be involved in it, and we know, what's funny of a lot of what's good about. The movie is also resulted just me talking to many different therapists over the years about all these issues and trying to be sensitive and and understand- and you know, there's a speech about what is a hero in the movie. Some of it in the end the trailer and that came out of a conversation with my therapist. We were having conversation about this character and avoid just kicking around well. What does this mean?
and what do you say to somebody that experience something like this about it, and what we were talking about was that there is no easy solution to it. The world needs heroes and sometimes bad things happen, and sometimes people are left in the wreckage of that. But the world does not function without heroes. It doesnt work. We must have those people and they should be allowed to have families. But when you were a child, then you lose apparent it's hard to understand why they would put themselves at risk in services their people when it is really the most noble thing anybody can do and what are the most powerful parts of measures where he was being around the fire fighters and we would be shooting into firehouse and we're making our little movie and we're all dressed up for the movie
You don't ten feet over. There are the real firefighters everyone's allow, the bell would go off and they would leave, and it was scared they were in the movie to admit, although this is real, We don't. We don't know where they were going. What are they going to do and we were just so impressed by their courage and also their good nature? They love it. They love, helping people. That's all I got out of being around the firefighting community. There not burnt out there not tired out over it from the beginning of becoming a fireman to the end. Everyone I met Who didn't love it more? The guys, don't you don't wanna retire, they they they are so proud of what they
you got an and they loved taking care of each other and that's what we try to capture in the movie K fact check a rumour sure. Is it true that Steve you see me was a fire fighter? He was, he was a fire fight of about four or five years before is acting grew took off, but I think it was at the same time and a bunch of people in our movie, our real firefighters, who also act who heating firefighter yeah, and so we really wasn't even the movie, because we knew that he stayed very close with that the community and, as a lot of charity work, he was down at ground. Zero turned clean up after nine eleven, and we knew there was
important to him and then he would add such gravitas to the movie in such compassion proteins and it's a really special performance. I thank you. Just tell you if you like in the fire house, your one, the people in the fire house- and they say one more thing about my last seen there we're gonna he'll indulge me from Adieu my rapid fire, ten questions, the scene where peace riding in the truck on a call. Aren't you call it
a call, I think it's a claw, yeah yeah and the way that was shot where I am watching him watch in this way that thought like the first time, what his dad did every day and what it meant and the gravity of it and the I just thought. The way that was shot was like I just had goosebumps from head to toe. Like he's seen this thing at that, like I was with him for the first time watching it, I just again went to the generosity of peace performance in his willingness to do that when that's a real story, gloomy away, well, Arsenal,
Talk of her was Robert elsewhere. Who is just what the great cinematograph result of all time, who did Michael Clayton and mission impossible on the more identity and there will be allowed in Boogie nights he's just one of the most talented people. I've ever around. So any time people see the buggy looks good. I always think. Well, I didn't better. I just hired Bob, that's why that works well, but we also knew that the idea of p going on a ride along watching firefighters, work would have a her residence and, and it was a tough, seem to shoot. It was a hard day to do that. And yes, it was great, a peep
had the courage to gas to show that, because I get someone sent me a very long time ago, they said the greatest gift you can give. Other people is your story and that this is a great example of that, because he doesn't have to do a tight. Also there was a chance. The movie would be terrible, we could have made a really bad movie. Trying to use the materials of his life, both fictional and not fictional, and mostly these are bad It goes with are bad because their hard to make it it it it rarely false. Together perfectly so, We things at the line up for a movie to actually be what you hoped it would be so that so the risk of a jewish. This is much larger than anyone really understands and I'm so glad it. Then he did it and I was terrified the whole die. We made it I would let him down
And not be able to get across what he was hoping to get across. I have people watch it. I think it's smart. I think it's moving and I think it's so deeply human and there's a love story and there's a grief and there's trauma, but there's funny- and I don't know I just I thank you for it and then my thanks to PETE for it cuz. It is felt generous, okay ready for my ten.
Higher. Okay, I M ready fill the blank farming. Vulnerability is a problem that does not seem to be going away for me. Ok, that's funny! You're call to be brave. Your fear is real. You ve gotta do something, but you can feel the fear in your throat. What's the very first thing you do, I try to realise that if I attempt to push the fear away, it will get worse and I try to make friends with it and allowed be there. Something people often get wrong about you. They don't realize that deep within me is an athlete
I thought of my friend. I says there is a genuine awfully you don't you you like to talk about it. I could tell you got an athletic body. I see you there there's an athlete in you and that has yet to be proven. But I like to say that I like it here, last, show you binged loved. The last show that I binged and was fleda I never know what I'm doing. I improvise aloud. I feel my way through things in it lobby manner and then I try to make them appear, not sloppy. What I added together, Flee bagged, feel so well written and precise, but at the same time it feels totally spontaneous and loose perfectly acted, and you would never know that. It's that precise and it's so funny and deepen smart. It's almost hard for me to watch because it
and make me feel bad about myself as a person. There are certain things that you know something Something terrible gives me confidence. Some like yeah yeah, good look at this peace, a garbage I should be in this. This event. Sometimes you see something remarkable in you dislike. Should I just quit or is it overhead So in Meyer, what's she and everyone involved in the project accomplished and someone who try to do the type of work? I'm so where how amazing it is that show. Is that brilliant? It's amazing first, Tell me a movie. You will never turn off if you pass it going slipping through channels being there, the Hell Ashby Peter Sellers Movie YAP, but a man who it's a simple minded man and everybody knows is from watching television and, at the end, a group of rich people turn
say: maybe we should make him the president, so do the math Arthur watching again say that prophetic, maybe a concert you'll, never forget. I was hosting a benefit for team cancer, America, which is Roger dodgy from the whose charity and Roger De Algae had his ban there and there was an auction sing a song with them to do a duet with Rodger Daltrey? I said I'm going to donate to the charity, because this has been my dream. Since I was eleven years old and then I sang my generation Roger Doll tree- and I want right now- I nailed it. Oh I did you really do. This is it. That was the best moment of my concert, going, ok life and I try to twirl thee?
if my graduate algae and almost bashed him in the head. Oh no problem, favorite meal, my favorite meal is chicken parmesan in any setting from me, restaurant homemade, the worse place in the world or the best place in the world, chicken permitting environment. And spaghetti always makes me happy. Ok, what's on your nightstand, there are eleven books on my nightstand at all times, none the page I will ever read. There is some water earplugs. There is a face mask to sleep. And what are thereby this chopsticks lately. As I get older, I cannot sleep. I dont have chap stick and.
I always have the unsettled soul. The army. I do know if you ve, read that book Michael Singers Book the UN's hazard soul. Now that book has helped me a lot can like those like a cartel lay canopy ass editor in that book talks about, but you're mine thinks its job is to solve all your problems, all the time to make sure every interaction is perfect. Everything say, is right every they say is right and driving yourself crazy thinking it's possible and that you need to just observe your mind, trying to do this at a distance and just observe, go crazy. My my mind is thinking it get all this and if you have some distance and a sense of humor about you, let go of it and that's been a helpful philosophy from my God. This is my moment right now, right. This hope cats interview right now, as I need to read this book, it's very good, yes, the untutored soul kind
He has a lot of Youtube. Videos re talks for a long time and when I need to go to sleep, he hasn't like what he is saying. But he also puts me to sleep. That's gotta be a tool for me. Snapshot of an ordinary moment in your life are really ordinary moment. It's really joyful for you every morning, family, usually wines up around the kitchen island, and we make can I ever cameo from my wife, Leslie now by I love wisely way out of the neighborhood my goodness now my guys know I love you. I love you. She is so jack everything we spent a lot of time with you. You know we do our opera Sunday, showed so superficial Sunday yeah
it's a common Sunday morning, press That was what I was going to say when when Leslie walked in where we? U you around the kitchen island, when less than ten of unity, that almost every morning we make Africa to adjust our selves, we don't want to cook anything. None of us are like the best Ass Leslie is the best I have to say she's the best, but I know how to make up a kind of test, which is basically smashing of an advocate of pity on me, Brad Such found, much fancy than it is at all. I don't want to make any they also about ninety five percent of the time my children are fed the same breakfast and that's like when we all sit and chat and talk about what was coming for the day. Ok last question: what's wanting it your deeply grateful for right now I am grateful that we're all here together and happy and healthy and have our wits about us for the moment I wonder what did I do not yet know what an hour from now is going to be, but I know
now sir, we're even killed and inner in a good place during a difficult went in and hopefully it will stay that way. No everybody out there will be take well to and take care of each there. You know these had been you see in the internet where it says everyone, If you something you know nothing about so be kind, and I feel like that I really need to know about anything that everything in it. We cannot but have. Thank you so much. Thank you so much yeah, namely the king, that an island he can watch it from the safety of your own home, which is, I think, a pretty remarkable gift. Well, I hope you will enjoy it and if you joy joy, it don't tell me yeah give it yourself. Thank you jack
big banks to judge appetite for this really for me, compare in conversation about Maybe it was about movies, but maybe it was just really. I think we talked about life and I think we talked about the power of knowing laughter the power of recognising ourselves. And the latter that comes when we think wow. Thought I was alone. I thought it was just me when a follow Judd on Twitter. It's at Judd, Jay, you D, D, Appetito Instagram at Joe Appetito, again, J, you D D, a Phd W just a reminder that the king of TAT Island is out I'm on premium video on demand, and thank you to John. For the films, but the movies for walking This
what feels like a journey that is equal parts right now, pain and tragedy, and joy and laughter, I think comedies, really import I still do fully understand it, and I stood out fully understand the deep vulnerability of Kommeni, but I'm just becoming increasingly convinced that maybe comedy, and why and how we laugh, isn't fully figure, audible, stay awkward, Raven, Kenya.
Transcript generated on 2020-06-26.