Mandatory Annual Spring Cleaning Day is coming. Here are the guidelines for the new municipal landfill facility.
This episode was co-written with Brie Williams.
Weather: "Letters" by Lera Lynn. leralynn.com
Music: Disparition, disparition.info.
Logo: Rob Wilson, robwilsonwork.com.
Produced by Night Vale Presents. Written by Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor. Narrated by Cecil Baldwin. More Info: welcometonightvale.com, and follow @NightValeRadio on Twitter or Facebook.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey! I have such exciting news for you. We have a brand new novel coming out in March of twenty twenty set in the world of night veil and beyond its called the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home, and it tells the story of the faces old woman who secretly lives in your home from her tragic childhood in the Mediterranean to her rise in the criminal underworld of Europe to a nautical adventure,
high seas and, finally, her settlement in modern night fail. You can pre order. The novel right now at welcome to night fell dot com, slash books and listen. Pre orders help authors out a ton. So if this sounds like a book you might enjoy and if your listening to night filled than yes, you
Enjoy it consider pre ordering why you're doing that check out our other two novels and our four script collections? There is no lack of night Vill. Reading material go check it all out.
Welcome to night they'll, dot, com, slash books.
You are swimming distance from assure you cannot see if you
who's, the wrong direction. You will drown. If you do not make a decision, you will drown
to night. Despite an extensive public outreach campaign, there is still some confusion over which items or accepted at the new landfill facility that opened this ball in the poorest district to replace the old, outdated landfill facility also located in the tourist industry.
Mandatory annual spring cleaning day is just around the corner, so it's imperative that all citizens know how to properly disposed of the wreckage of their lives. I have some guidelines.
Something Sanitation Department received
here. The nomadic too, but that I discovered beneath the floorboards of my office, underline
of cement, bricks, chains and padlocks
if someone wanted to keep it sealed forever, but before we get to that, the lost and found a cell phone has been founded, the drainage ditch on drainage
road it contains. New phone numbers will contact info, but there is a series of photos in the camera that I will now describe so that the owner might recognize it photo one. A close up of what looks like charred bone photo to a man in a force suit staring directly into the lens, but a three shapes in the dark: reaching voted for a puddle
viscous liquid shot at a dutch angle in black and white. If this is your phone, you can claim it here at night. Fail community radio, another found item a group of giant corps
Bored boxes have been found, scattered, haphazard Lee around the empty field. Behind the abandoned missile silo for reasons
They cannot explain
they'll citizens have been crawling into the box is most haven't, come back
The few who did emerge described the interior as an elaborate puzzle. Maize ending in a complicated array
if levers and dials, which must be engaged in the correct combination in order to regain freedom
one Escap was asked by bucks entering hopefuls for a hint ass to what the correct combination was she received.
Did smugly the disease
inspection of failure is equally important to the satisfaction of success.
If these sounds like your boxes, please pick them up from the field. If that sounds like your smugness
grip on yourself LISA. Now the official guideline
from the sanitation department. Please do not bring
any physical objects to the new landfill facility
You can bring any item that you no longer want as long as it does not take up physical space. The physical
checks must instead be brought to the old landfill which no longer exists, as it has been replaced by the new landfill which, as stated, will not accept physical objects to clarify you cannot bring old televisions
could not bring old refrigerators. You could not bring old cars, but you can bring the idea of the back seat where you lost your virginity.
You cannot bring old radios, but you can
bring the song that reminds you of getting your braces tightened at the orthodontist that same year, when the popular bullies stole your school pictures to laughed loudly about how ugly you were. You cannot
you're old braces nor the bullies, but you can't
bring the beauty you eventually found in herself by doing beautiful things theirs
a section for recycling. This is where you can put things that aren't current
useful to what might be termed it
something more useful by someone else like your current relationship or you
in different opinions about the godfather one and two you can,
bring Emmy habitual destructive behaviour and also
the sheer exhaustion of constantly working to contain it yoke
and bring the memory of the smell of vanilla incense. If it reminds you of something, that's not necessarily negative, but is nostalgic to the point of discomfort, you cannot
bring the smell itself as smell
those are made of a matter which is physical,
there is a sealed chamber for all messages, emails and miss tools that you'd read returning you may
beat these messages into the chamber than simply walk away, boring,
these guidelines in a moment, but first a correction. So
to us. The ham, radio, by Listener Lucinda Fierro in reference to our previous report on found items
Lucinda informs me that a group of giant cardboard boxes is actually called a clatter ring of boxes. A group of complicated levers and dials is called a befuddle meant of lovers and dials, not an array, as I earlier reported.
We apologise for these errors and remind Lucinda Fierro that a group of patents is called a flam in sadder news. Oh
woman Josie has returned to the hospital with further complications from her broken hip last year. It seems that certain
infections that were thought to be gone or not gone. Doktor said they were optimistic
although not necessarily about her case just more in general. I will of course keep you constant
updated back to the new landfill guidelines, you can
an entire year to the landfill, but you are limited to one per resident
So please make sure your selecting the right ear
invite you to remember that. A year that seems uniquely terrible could in fact be merely the gateway to an era of terror, the launching point and not the peak
For two before you throw away an entire year that
Giving unit of time also contains positive effects who shape aren't apparent yet because the universe doesn't function in increments of human made time, but on an unbroken plain of incidents and outcome, but
all that set feel free to
RO out a year. If you want there
an area for dumping, things that you part yet sure, if you regret, for example,
This is where you can put the crush you have on your platonic fret the moment
where you catch yourself, distracted by their mouth when their speaking
instead of fully hearing from the
over, compensating excitement to display when they get a new partner.
And the satisfaction you suppress when they break up this
is where you put that one night when you were,
both the little drunk and ended,
fooling around. This is where you put the next morning when you, both
pretended nothing happened and he laughed and joked around like normal for a slightly exaggerated version of normal when they left for work in too much of a hurry, and you let your coffee get cold. While you just sat there on the couch wondering if you should text but any message, he could think of seem to be distorted by coded significance. Thank
for a lovely evening was too loaded while simply left the key under the mat for good luck with your meeting was too casual almost cold, but
sense of a message would also send a message. In the end, you settled on all three placing thanks for a lovely evening in the middle of the other two as one might put condoms on the check out between a roll of scotch tape, and if you apples, you can
bring scotch tape, nor
apples. Here, please stop bringing apples. They will
Biodegrade degrade here. Nothing biodegrade here. Apples are only accepted at the old landfill which has been closed,
the opening of the new landfill. You cannot
bring piles of mysterious magnetic shavings that blue into your guard after that last big storm, bought
and bring the sounds. You heard in your house after the electricity went out, please
do not bring any lost cell phones nor a clattering of lost boxes.
Guidelines are really detail
Maybe the sanitation apartment needs to get over it. I mean I would never say that,
Being of being an objective journalists, but I can report that others might say it reporting,
opinions that I have never heard expressed by anyone else, but that someone somewhere might be thinking is an important part of being an objective journalist. Anyway, we pause now to bring
The weather, these Sir Kay
can t you know, kitchen making love
small game being in these
Marlborough smash hear this
You see you there
is a place at the landfill where you can put that summer. You know that summer you went to the beach. That's,
Marie everything seemed great. You cool
sunglasses that made you feel cool everybody's coconuts,
bodies were sliding around on each other, and you did things you weren't, proud of
I don't remember what they were anymore. It was so long ago, but they're always there, those things
always hanging around in a sandy corner of your mind, along with the cool sunglasses you lost. When you stopped feeling cool, you remember that a black hole
opened up in the sky that summer over the waves and no one else saw you looked straight into it.
It slid open and closed. Like the aperture of a camera, you felt a deep desire.
I ought to be sucked into it, but no matter how hard you will your body upward? You stayed stuck to the street surrounded by the screen. Bursts of people on the roller coaster, down
the boardwalk and the monotonous drone of the roving street peddler mumbling as if to themself water
Our sun screen umbrellas water.
Son screens umbrellas
unsettled. You gotta a from a passing cart and it did not sit well. In fact, it feels like that. Churro is still a part of you. You never die
stood it it's still. Inside of you attacked
to the lining of your stomach, like a parasite might be growing.
It might be absorbing your nutrients and gaming strength and then there's the car that charcoal gray com.
Or that started following you. Afterwards, you can
prove anything. It was never closer than to
blocks away. Sometimes you think he's still see it parked across the street from roofs. When you come out with your groceries or when you go to the bank or were you
driving home from work, but then you think, no I'm imagining things and you drive out to your childhood home
which is now abandoned, and no one knows you go back there sometimes, and you fall asleep
on the downstairs sofa while listening to the broken gate creaking in the wind
vaguely remember. You have to clean everything out of the house before demolition next week. You wonder
how you gonna get rid of all these things. I can't
the downstairs so far or the broken gate to the new landfill facility. You think, but I could take those or other physical objects to the old landfill
It's been closed because of the opening of the new landfill. You did a great job listening to them
guidelines from the sanitation. Another thing you can
bring to the new landfill. Is the Doran ran poster that you bought to hide the whole that you punched in your wall after that summer that you went to the beach mice begin nest?
they're, almost immediately and reproducing at an alarming rate. Every day after school
put on work, gloves and peeled up the bottom of the poster and reached into the hole and scooped out handfuls of baby mice and threw them out your bedroom window. In a frenzy like baling water out of a sinking boat, you spent so much time doing this, that your grades dropped and he lost weight and still
We hear them scratching all night, long chewing and shredding and rustling and reproducing one day
you lifted the poster and instead of mice there was a black hole, a minute.
The one you saw over the water years before it slid, opened and closed like
a picture of a camera
been going upstairs in years,
you cannot bring your mother's half finished needlepoint. That will never be completed, and so
who is now finished in its own way.
You cannot bring the stain on the carpet from when you and your friends, snuck in a mixture of everyone's parents. Alcohol collected in a jar
Wine and gin and beer and key LE
cannot bring your journals, but you can bring the secrets in them, even if their written
in a code that you can no longer decipher
you can bring the view from the attic that looks towards the high school track, where you would sit in
Archer a certain somebody during practice
until yourself, it wasn't creepy as long as you don't get the binoculars, you cannot bring
your long dead childhood dogs, favorite tennis ball that you aren't yet aware is under the downstairs sofa where you still sometimes sleep when you imagine that the charcoal gray car is following you, but where you will
No longer sleep after the demolition next week,
could not bring your deceased pet, but you can bring the moment when she woke. You
Stop in the middle of the night, with her last breaths and you crying
to her fur.
You can bring the ghost of your grandmother. Then you saw many years before she died. You can't bring the fox with human eyes
one that they used to tell stories about at camp the one that you saw running on too long.
Beside your car one foggy night when you were coming back from a party in college and the next
You found out your grandmother died that night
You can bring recurring nightmares to the new landfill, but not fever dreams. At this time, fever dreams
be taken to the recycling centre in pine cliff you can
and bring the decoy replacement dreams that you get when you were abducted by non humans or government officials that help you repressed the memory of the actual abduction, but it is not recommended that you do so.
Those dreams serve a valuable purpose
there has also been some confusion about whether or not we take physical pain, because it
this both physical and intangible. Unfortunately, we do not have way of processing this
now, but we are able to take the fear of pain which we think you'll find counts for a long time. Nothing that you bring here, of course, is true.
We lost, but it will remain hidden from view forever
Please double check to make sure nothing. You wish to keep as attached to anything you plan to discard. If you still have any questions about the items we do and do not accept, please call ahead
for bringing the men. Thank you for your cooperation signed the night veil, Sanitation Department, mistress
I know well, certainly be utilizing the new landfill the spring. You know I'm finally going to tackle
underground passageway that connects my basement to someone else's basement whose based
meant it is. It would be inappropriate to
upstairs into their kitchen to find out. There are certain
about boundaries that must be observed to maintain order, but I know that
have a lot of the same things that I have in my basement stockpiled cases of the
would smoke flavour of LE old, face
photos of mine, my
voice heard faintly through the basement door anyway, that other
He spent is a nice place to go when I need to get away from it all, but a lot
emotional baggage accumulates in that passageway. After, while it really does state to now
for a twelve hour by normal meditation track of rain, stick being used to tend to rise, meet, happy purging, night veil and good night.
Welcome tonight, veil is the production of night veil presents. This episode was written by Bree Williams with Joseph Think and Geoffrey trainer and produced by Joseph Think, the voice
night veil is Cecil Baldwin.
Original music by disposition. All of it include
his brand new album of solo piano pieces can be found at dispersion, dot info or
expression, dot, band camp dot com, these episodes, whether was
errors by Lira Lynn,
find out more at lira. Lynn, dotcom comments, questions,
proper, there's no harm in trying really depends on what you're trying either way give it a go.
Or march in the street until justice is achieved check. I welcome to night fell dot com for more information on this show and life
shows that you will truly regret if you miss
consider clicking licking a it's how all of US artist today's proverb,
There is no harm in trying really depends on what you're trying either way give it a go.
Hey, listen, there's a fine podcast! It's me how Lublin Podcast Europe and friend and me make that men are upon castor and acquaintance and me
Symphony Sanders POD, castor and friend with benefits.
We are happy to tell you about our show good morning night veil, it's your hip to recent trends like drool cardy being collusion, then you, like, we have already started listening to our official welcome to my bill. We capture iron about jewel in the new Yorker. Why was on the toilet.
At the south feature interviews with the cats and creators plus listener theories questions at my exact wishes for disposal of my body when I die. If you haven't listened yet, we understand we also have stuff going on to you know. We are also very busy busy making a pike ass for you about a pod cast. You love just
Oh that we're here for you, when every already in your podcast them and in your hearts,
forever yours in Van Dam and friendship and every kind. Latvia. Is it jeweller Julie? Now I think maybe it would be on the toilet right now.
Transcript generated on 2020-02-15.