This episode, and also your life, and every life on this and every world, and this entire universe, brought to you by Kellogg's.
Weather: “Standard Deviation” by Danny Schmidt
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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dot com today, as old days as ever
day of your life has been.
To you by Kellogg's.
Are you worthy welcome
to night veil. The listeners well
We ve been having some real budget troubles here at the station silly
don't seem that today's entire broadcast we'll be
sponsorship message from Kellogg's
It feels like a lot, but it was the only way to keep the station up and running.
Station management consumes the Red
Tons of soil from Paris each month,
and it has been massively expensive digging it up and shipping it here, not damage
all the bribes needed for government officials. All to say that Kellogg's
has agreed to pay, for. Let me check one
once of soil shipments in extra,
for us exclusively talking about them for that
three years, but that doesn't
with the best bargain, but concern
the stations, legal adviser and see if we can get out of that?
our legal adviser is Laura. Who is a server down at the moonlight all night diner between shifts
she likes to read Wikipedia pages about law stuff. So
we often go to her for her expert opinion
In the meantime, probably
for me to just do with contracts, says
explanation brought to you, of course, by Kellogg's. Let's get to the news, John Peters, you know the farmer said that some folks came to his form. They said they were from Kellogg's,
so they heard that he grew the finest imaginary corn in the state said they were thinking of getting
Two imaginary cornflakes and that they want
to buy up his entire crop. He told them that he already had to deal with flaky. It was a good local cereal company and that he couldn't go back on its word, one of the folks from Kellogg's squint up at the sun, then sir.
Be it on the ground through tight, lipped persons.
I wouldn't worry about Blakey to beyond
This news, I'm now worried about videos.
Now the community counter the sea
thing is the monthly school board. Meeting topics covered will include updating textbooks, to contain words rather than runes and diagrams of rigid
dances hiring a new vice principle. After that whole endless key
He was suffering menace weeks ago and replacing all food in the cafeteria with Syria scientists from the Kellogg's institute.
Hey- that most food has new nutritional value at all. Do not do that.
And that only Syria contains all the protein vitamin
in corn that a body needs to live at each right, Thursday, the boy scouts,
holding their summer bake sale, they will have been
he's of cereal and nothing else.
Europe is not available to you. You are available to the cereal Friday is now called Kellogg's day.
Mentioning the outdated name for too long stay will result in severe fines and disappearances. Actually getting some sort of urgent text from crullers says that something has said recently is not scientifically accurate, but I don't have time to check what Kellogg's isn't pay me to text may be. There
You know it's not clear what Kellogg's! What's from us Saturday morning as these summer, softball leagues, weekly, gay, pitting Steve Carlsberg happy hyenas
again, Susan, women's garbage dump t that's not the actual needs of the team
but it should be women
Kellogg's will be sponsoring the gain by replacing the soft balls with dispose of apple checks and sending
employees to hurl boxes of cereal at players,
Sunday afternoon in Grove Park seriously
it will be offering free meditation classes. There is, of course, a fist sized river rock, and so is extraordinarily good at sting, steel and silent, and she wants to pass these skills onto you. Kellogg's will place a six inches deep layer of special k over the entire park,
for reasons that are their own. The night bill meteorological Society has issued an extreme heat watch for Monday, saying: hey it's a desert. In August, it's probably going to be hot as heck on Monday and all other days,
Kellogg's suggest using the sun to cook up some rice krispies treats by building is,
simple solar energy panel and using that power, an electric oven and
fleets set aside all of Tuesday, as Kellogg's has indicated, that they will have use for us all of us on Tuesday and then
we are citizens of night veil, said: flick, use chief executive
Leopold Tuesday, we ve been through a lot of terrifying stuff. It's real, weird town. We are not afraid of repeating cereal company
like I was executives announced that they are going to stand strong against this current Kellogg's encroachment
We are citizens of night veil, said, flick, use, chief executive Leopold, Tuesday
we ve been through a lot of terrifying stuff,
Real weird town, we are not afraid of pitting cereal company, then he yelled as the closet in his office open and the folks from catalogues.
Came out, one of them squinted up at the sign thence bid on the
this floor through type lives like the person said, and then the Kellogg's group left the office while Leopold, Sputter sputtered
how they got in and why anybody would ever spit on another person's or next up we have trapped nope. Ok, I'm being told that traffic
replace today by our new segment listeners. I am pleased to bring you common, Kellogg's questions in which you ask questions and I enter them
with off the cuff answers that are not written down for me on these carefully scripted courts, question number one: how much is too much cereal my off hand answer how much
it's too much life. How much is too much love
you deny yourself blood in your veins
Would you deny yourself dreams in your evenings
there is not too much there
only ever the deficit and the longing ok question number two:
Sometimes it seems my cereal boxes are watching me.
I dont know how else to describe the they don't have eyes or anything and they're just sitting there, but it feels like they're watching me just emperor
I think here, but certain measures are taken for your own good, don't worry about it, it's fine
and question number three is this,
pupil in four frosted, many weeks, still usable, I've
it since like two thousand and seven, but it doesn't have a date on it. Is it still good? In answer to your question and for your extemporaneous listening pleasure here,
Our ten seconds of a person eating cereal recorded really really close to their mouth. This has been common Kellogg's questions. It lists is keep this going helped it did. You know that cornflakes cure most cancer,
The reason you didn't know that is, that it isn't true, but we have made a person on the radio say it to you and now
You will remember that he said it and forget that he said it wasn't true, because our minds are fallible easily minutes. Ok, this is just
Insulting do I really have to dig entering their swim shipment. Some teeth
like use chief executive Leopold to steal, has vanished under mysterious circumstances. A white van with a headlong Lugo pulled up to him ass. He walked through his car and a group of people hustled him into a burlap sack burlap sack into the back one of the people stopped to squint up at the sun and then spit on the ground through tight lips before jumping in band roaring on. So I heard by our sponsors report that nothing is known about the hearings and there are no clues indicating what happened you probably you just got scared about the quality of his competitors. Products and fled happens. All the time
all the time. How logs has asked me to repeat now? Let's see what kind of whether Kellogg's has deemed to give you.
It was due to the stars and planets were when she turned her face class. There was now likely to Madame Cure women's moist his word, so it's just spills months, three hours when she gets question instead as a normal silence to watch what she says: she's just a story, tat story. We drag stories yourself
so she and her hands began.
Girls live with fire,
lying meal in care, see
It was the smartest thing she never
So she grabbed brain
to make his lying. There had never balance
just as there is always so many, so many do so many ways within the standard. So many so many in so many ways within the standard in the beginning there was nothing there was not known.
Existent nor existed? There was no realm of air knows
sky beyond what covered in and where and what give shelter.
Was water there. Unfathomed depth of water darkness was upon the face of the deep death was not
then, nor was there ought immortal. Then
There was nothing
Kellogg's spread and formed. Kellogg's became the planets and the stars.
Logs gathered into long strands to become the arms of galaxies and infinity of Kellogg's space made tangible out of the empty.
Kellogg's became soil and water, it became trees and it became birds, and it learned sing and learn to speak
First man rose and found the first woman waiting for him and her name was Kellogg's and his name was Kellogg.
And they shouted in horror at their own. Mortal later there were cities, and before that they were
and it all came from and was of Kellogg's and belonged to Kellogg's the people note
and they gave a joyful thanks for their own creation, but Kellogg's could not hear it was a
heaving dumb creature and it created out of a natural impulse like how human
spleen like how bird
its bleed like how trees bleed it did not create out of benevolence. Kellogg's is not benevolent he's. Not there is a stone, it is us the harder. It is every empty distance between the stones and the stars. It is not capable of morality, it is Kellogg's, it is.
Forever. Once long ago,
The first thing I looked out over the
it was not a bad thing, but then there were a lot of great empires would conflict. That moment the world was a very small structure: grassland near water and the person who grassland was
and the grassland became a king. There were titles give
borders erected, the king felt that he had created something great.
But his name would ring out forever windows even a hundred years after his death. It has.
The only mean that rings out for ever once there was a farmer who lived at the edge of the forest and she were,
two fields. She would look at the forest with longing because it seemed to her that like was built only of routines and chores and the bees,
were the ones that box and that by me,
not her days. These routines were feeling they were killing her in the sense that they were taking her entire life away from her
and she felt that if she ever got the nerve one Kellogg's day evening, she would run into the forest. Maybe it would be scary and there probably dangerous,
she would be less comfortable than she was on the form, but she would also be truly herself. It was all waiting for her in the forest. She never
ran into it later. She died while working one of her field. The story doesn't matter the only thing that matters is Kellogg,
years. From now the universe with disperse
the stars, will dim running out of the energy in view to them. When it exploded, planets will become rock and molecules stock. Forming an Adams will stop vibrating in its new peace deal. It will be still for ever links until the next
and nothing from this thing you ever see. The next logs will reverse the weight as long as it needs to for ever thought. What a human would proceed. Maybe it will wait for ten times as long as this universe ever exist, then surely it means there will be water there. Unfathomable depth of water darkness will be upon the face of the deep and it will start there is a town and that tell his cold night. It exists on a plane, is surrounded by
this latter send the sand. Wastes above us likes that flit about
peer back wondering we are safe and we love each other
and we can seal secret said we hold multitude, and in this way we are like anyone. We live lives that are rich with me. Man, doll or we live lives that are heavy with torment and worry for live lives that passed. Fine like a
new reach the end and say that it we are a community life,
the king. We have made the world smaller and in claiming this tiny corner as our entire world, we have created a kingdom like the former. We I the forest and contemplate what could be out there ever left if we ever wet, but fewest
and like the universe, we are brought to us by color. We belong to and we are made of dialogues we cannot understand, belongs, and that may be because the mystery is too complex or
maybe because it is as simple as a monolith and truly there is
no more. The company has been bought out with no management left to resist the hostile,
now: a research wing of pillars designed to test out a concept that Kellogg's says they have just invented all on their own, which is a line of cereal meant for night, came on the new head of this division. Squinted up at the sun then spit on their own office floor through type lips. Before saying, I wouldn't worry about, that's it for our sponsor. Try
Remember today, has been brought to you. I can't take today
good night, good night.
Welcome to fail is the production of night veil presents. It is written by Joseph Think and Geoffrey Greener and produced by desperation. The voice of night veil is Cecil. Baldwin regional music by dispersion of it can be found at dispersion, dot info or at dispersion dot band camp dot com. This episode.
Whoever was standard deviation by Danny Schmidt, find out more and get Danny's music at Danny Schmidt. Dotcom comments, question
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Transcript generated on 2020-02-15.