« Welcome to Night Vale

225 - Renegotiations

2023-04-01 | 🔗

It's contract renegotiation time at the station.

Weather: “Peculiar Little Town“ by Echoes of Aphelion

Original episode art by Jessica Hayworth

Read episode transcripts

Our new podcast, UNLICENSED, available now!

2023 US TOUR DATES for “The Haunting of Night Vale”

Patreon is how we exist! If you can, please help us keep making this show.

Music: Disparition

Logo: Rob Wilson

Written by Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor

Narrated by Cecil Baldwin

Follow us on TwitterFacebook, and Instagram.

Check out our books, live shows, store, membership program, and official recap show at welcometonightvale.com

A production of Night Vale Presents.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
The a jeffrey cranor, This past year we ve been touring. Our lives, show the hunting of night veil in it so spooky and funny, and touching it such a fun shone with absolutely loved being back on the stage and the road getting to see all of you in person around the world. Well, our final performance, of the hunting of might fail or coming up at the end of this month. At the end of April only set, performance is left starting April. Twenty first in newark, then we'll two madison blooming turn detroit portland maim evidence and ending in new haven on April thirtieth, so if you live in or near one of those cities come see, us just go to welcome to night, build dot, com and click on live shows to see dates. Venues and ticket information also we're having us bring clearance sale in our store. This is your last chance to get some really fun night veil march, like our, I hate the moon, t shirt which, by the
May I once more to my local post office- and I have now made lifelong friends just go to welcome too I feel dot com and click on store were always adding new march, but that means old march has to go away. So don't miss your final chance to get these cool cool things. Ok, I think I covered at all joy. The episode and hey thanks well, then I feel brought you by progressive. Were customers who save by switching their home and car, save nearly eight hundred dollars on average quote at progressive dot com. press of casually insurance company in affiliates national for twelve months savings of seven hundred. Ninety three dollars by new customer surveyed who saved with progressive between twenty, twenty one and may twenty twenty two potential savings will vary five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes in economy welcome to night
its contract, renegotiation time again, listeners spent five years since my last round with station management, and I think it's time for a raise. Ravings have been good for my show and while some of that has to do with city councils, recent ordnance requiring all radios to be tuned to the station at all hours, I'd like to think some of our success, has to do with my top notch broadcast abilities by the way
the council and station management are still dating. It's been in on again off again affair, but their living together. Now they bought a new house and adopted several cats, these a birds are seen going to antique malls nearly every week at we also wish to hear when station management is going to put the question. But marriage or no these two- multi, headed single bodied monstrosities seem quite happy together, cute, even hoping this loving relationship has station management in a good mood today, still after It happened five years ago I came prepared I hired an agent, a lotta, Big tabus I know agents take a large cut, but it's worth it I think that all the eyes or dotted and tease are crossed. Not planning on asking for anything outlandish salary, wise. I really like it here. Besides,
I don't know where else I would go. This is the, We radio station in town- mandated by the city council in loving, lockstep, with their romantic partner. Oh ok Getting a text from along sheet me not to give way too much of my leverage by blabbing about my intentions. Ok, well, listeners! That's all that's just between us, so don't tell anyone and now traffic all roads, sidewalks and bite paths that led to the sand wastes are closed. is the secret bunker for the? U S, president. In case of a catastrophe like global thermal, nuclear warfare birds, or heavy rain. I didn't know the president's topsy bunker was located in night fail. How neat I'm on the website right now. Oh, you can do tours theirs. children's wing and a gift shop. That's something up!
on family day out sad Though the bunker is closed to the public, including the president along all roads leading to the sand, wastes until further notice. Earth. Secret police issued this order as they are still looking for the body of Dana cardinal or her double police paused. There search in the sand wastes this past week because they found a few dozen bodies which are all linked to several unsolved murders of the past. Sixty years doktor, JANET Lou bell from the university of what it is reminded sheriff, SAM, that the university is funding. This search, not the city of night, fail and doktor the bell wants to keep digging for Dana's double according to Lou bell. The university. What it is is not interested in solving murders Solving murders is scientifically boring. She said explaining double
gangsters, on the other hand, is scientifically very interesting. She said, that's what they're in the sand wastes to do find the woman Dana cardinal killed on march fifteenth twenty thirteen. Oh, take Galway road or marked alternate roots. Instead, this has been traffic. Ok, listeners, my agent ilona, is here she it's gone down the back hall to speak to station management. I warned her there. Very dangerous. She told She's dealt with plenty of high powered people. She stands every intimidation technique in the book, but I saw the terror on her face when she looked down the dark corridor. Lit lee by pulsating or glow, around a solid would door.
here sounds of snarling, then whimpering, didn't chewing the net of teeth was ravenous and wet that must have been one of the sean's in sales asking for raise guy a lot of steel herself and headed down the hall. I wished her luck and gave a double thumbs up she immediately vomited collected herself and reciprocate My confidence gesture when I last asked for a new contract. I didn't even get to see station management, I hadn't appoint that morning, before my show- and I was nervous but prepared, talk to them about my value to this radio station and community. But We could even make it down the hall. The law tore open. There was burst of flame and crow about the size of a skateboard flew up and handed me. A piece of paper
the contract apparently already signed. It then arms, the arms grabbed me from behind someone put a hood over my head and someone else ejected, because something when I I was lying in the middle of the scrub lance. My phone stead. My shoes were missing. I walked across hot sharks, stones for twenty miles. Until I reached my home and when I walked in the door, carla in all. My friends were throwing me a surprise party to celebrate my contract renewal. It was one The happiest days of my life but I never wanted to go negotiations with station management. Again, that's why I, along with this year. Speaking of it, it's been quiet to court she's been in station managements office a long time, and I haven't heard, oh god, with a scream. I think that's a screen.
It sounds like a lot listeners. I know it stopped. She stopped the noise is died away or oh, dear We're alone has. And now a public service announcement. my fellow americans, today's the climate is rife with government and corporate confluence and corruption and who is truly looking out for the people there. This country, what it is, whose looking out for you and me the citizens of this nation. That's right the count for food, is The council for food is an independent private shadow enterprise based in an unmarked caribbean island whose only interest is spreading the word of boot. Yes, you heard that right,
the ingestion of food is vital for survival. Studies show that those who do not eat food are all dead which That is also show is directly correlated to them, not eating food. Well, the council, feed promotes the eating of feet. Things like cereal or blackened catfish the council for food discourages people from eating nonfood things like styrofoam and guns way. Stop right now. Harrison Kip were you. about to eat that silica gel packet. You got in your pampered chef delivery, don't do it! Mister Kip silica. Gel is not food eat some mustard instead Mustard is shown to be at least sixty four point: eight percent food work. You concerned listen must have many questions. answered them all or
drinks. Food, yes, end up. Can I give my children food? Yes all. people can and should eat boot, where is the food food is everywhere that food can be found. Iris we've all my nutrients intravenously is that eating food. Yes, as long as those nutrients had been approved and delivered by a doctor is gum, food ah will get back to you on that one. So start eating food today, like veil food, it's the best thing you can eat message has been brought to you by the council for food. Ok I'm texting a lotta. trying to call her too, but there's no response listeners. I feel the worst? Ok,
going to be a brave cecil rescue, her from the deadly grip of station managements clause or jaws or whatever those things are that they have on their necks, can't get the wireless mike and I'm coming down. The hall the orange glow around their office door is mild everybody's in a good mood, maybe thirty working out the finer details of the contract like vacation time, religious holidays, more cat treat in the station restrooms, I'm it's all fine, I'm, oh my god. something oozing from underneath the door. It's glistening and dark red its following now, not using its gushing. splashing nope nope nope, absolutely not I'm going back to my desk right now we're I belong. Address your soul, a of mactavish or maybe good luck depending
your current plaintive existence, but I cannot will not be going back there again under any circumstances. Tractor no and how financial news. The stock market is wild. Today, a real roller coaster of emotions, a real see saw of feelings, are real Elevator of sensations up down the market goes and sometimes left and right front back the market is three dimensions for even The dow jones industrial average gained two more The comments, but not in the number two appeared suddenly in the middle of the word jones, a comma o n e comma s, Investors are dead quiet as this. And announced that they were raising interest rates on the english language. Does that
one banker shouted before being tackled shushed, and ultimately gagged by several other panicked traders. The new, stock exchange in lower manhattan is throbbing with activity literally the building itself is expanding and collapsing, like the throat of a bullfrog in mating season, the ceo of well spargo, who was a weasel- and here I mean that metaphorically, just a lying shirk that ceo they're not actually weasel. Of course the sea well spargo. He is in fact a rat literally. wrote it in a wood chips, strewn aquarium in a chico state, dorm room anyway, The ceo well spargo said that they will pivot from paris no and private banking too. Ski rentals, beginning in quarter to if you've got any money saved at wells, fargo you're. In luck, because You can now redeem it for a two for one ride at their new charleston location down
appear. Eighty three next to the two molly truck. This has been finance. Well, this is a surprise Doktor, JANET Lou bell and all of her terrible university of war it is cronies- have arrived here at the radio station doctor the bells henchmen blake Jones- man did the archived audio from march fifteenth twenty thirteen that was the date Dana cardinal killed. Her double right here in the studio while I was on the air I told doctor, jones and doktor bluebell that oliver archives are held in station managements office, which is the truth doctor, sneered and said: where is this office? Oh, let me show you I offered with a smile, but doc bilbil said with folk kindness. No, you have radio show to do mister, gershwin palmer. We can find it if you just point the way, and so I did
and now the entire staff of the university of what it is is in the office of station management, the most savage beasts this side of librarians wish. I could see what stage should management is going to do to them this at the moment, waiting for night bill. I could get a pay cut and I'd still he thrilled with station management for finally taking care of doktor the bell once and for all, though, not looking forward to cleaning up the mess when their done glorious, newsnight, they'll, glorious news and now the weather.
Just a strange, strange ones and doing badly before the sun has gone in there. Just so sharp smile everything's, fine with me, you don't need to leave yeah. Why not stay there? S just a stranger, seemed on edge of everyone's know about you and shares the sirens. Spa spooky
The sanity is the key. terrible news night veil, terrible news. Doktor labelling. Your fellow scientists emerged unscathed from station managements offices. They were holding, audio reel marked march, fifteenth twenty thirteen They were astonished at how easy it was to find the archived recording of that show, but or even more astonished at the condition of station managements office, it was like binding ruins, but almost perfectly preserved blake jones said and then he asked me. How long has this station been running without management? I didn't understand
I explained to them about the horrifying noises the glowing light under the door. and how no human is allowed to look directly at station management that they vote even one of the sean's from sales, and possibly even my agent. There was long pause and then, after the bell laughed after beat all The other university sycophants laughed along with her doktor labelle, said o cecil Your station management is just an orange lava. Lamp that's been plugged in, for god knows how long and the noises were a halloween sound effects, cosette running on a loop there's, no one in that office and there hasn't been for decades. I stammered something about contract renewal about the fire and the floor, opening up and entered the crow and like John said: will you definite I have a crow infestation
We also see signs of foundation damage. Here too, I should wait Did you find my agent alot of activation? There. They said they saw no one else in the office, then blake, no one's began typing on his phone. He turned the screen to me. It said cecil. I just look that name up alone up. Big tabus died twenty years ago here obituary there. She was just as they said. A lot of Travis dead at eight Ninety seven april, first, two thousand three doktor labelling to be with real pity Mr Kerr from farmer who seem. Sturbed, your perceived reality has been shattered. Hasn't it I was waiting for a cease fire from these people, or at least an apology. I mean they. already killed sera sultan. They killed the no cloud and now station management I feel,
stay should management, yes, but I didn't like them, but, but they were my station management doctor bell, did not back off, nor did she apologized. She said we'd love to study this fused brain of yours. Come down to the university tomorrow morning for some tests at this one, the scientists sniggered How dare you I shouted get out and they did without incident, but before they got the door. Doctor Jones turned back and said o We found this and he handed me The document it was my contract renewed for another five years with a twenty said, raise doctor jones that's your handwriting, isn't it cecil could
be stationed, managements handwriting, they don't even exist, they ve been well, they ve been explained after the left. I stood at the open door of station managements office. I had never been there before with open eyes. it was covered in mounds of dust and cobwebs. There were no footprint sort, any indication that anyone had been and therefore it east forty years, who was stationed management? How do we even begin to mourn them? How will city council more than I dread? even thinking about the depths of their sorrow. Why, with all the pain station management has put me through, should I grieve their death?
I'm scared thinking of running this radio station at my own. Maybe I'd love them like a really difficult family member or maybe I'm frightened for my town, who's next to be explained away, sheriff sam Dana rico, teddy williams me. Carlos? No, I can't think of these things. I must do what I do best and that is broadcast knife this. Is your newly resigned radio host? In fact this is your brand new station manager I am calling on each and every one of you to close your doors to the university of what it is. Do not read.
they're, my lab do not give them a hotel room, do not even offered them a glass of water they must learn that they are not welcome here state to next. for the sound of tears. Bear the audible over the roar of cleaner and is always good night night fail goodnight hate every created here. Have you heard about red fall, it's a new game coming to xbox and pc on may. Second, it's open world collapse. Shooter were the island of red fall. Massachusetts has been overtaken by vampires from bethesda soft works in arcane austin, the lord winning team behind pray in dishonour follows an immersive story, driven game wrapped up in a mystery. It's up to our four heroes, each with unique ability to take back redfish,
who created the vampires and have you stop them? It's up to you to uncover the mystery. What do you play solo or squat up with up to three friends, you're going to have a great time exploring this spooky spooky world pre order now or played day, one with game pass, learn more, it read, fall dot com raided him for mature. This episode is brought to you by better everything's. Fine might be a true sentiment most of the time, but whose there to help you through the other times it on important to have someone to talk to about the things that aren't fine therapy has been Huge for me helping me deepen my understanding of myself as was thinking of giving therapy. I tried better help is a great option. It's convenient, flexible, affordable and entirely online. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with. licence, therapist and switch. Airbus any time for no additional charge, discover your potential with better help visit better how dot com, slash night veil today to get ten percent off your first month. That's better help. Eighty lp dot com, slash night veil
The come tonight: veil is the production of night fell, presents, it is written by Joseph think and Geoffrey trainer and produced by disposition. The voice of night, cecil baldwin, original music by disposition, oh, that can be found at disposition, dot band camp dot com. This happened whether was peculiar little town by echo, I of a feeling find but more at echoes of aphelion dot, band camp dot com check the show notes. But the spelling comments, question email sat in info at welcome tonight, bell dot com or followers on twitter. At night fell radio and instagram at night veil official. We now have a tick tock at night, fail official as well, if you like short videos by a fictional radio station and also check Welcome to night fell dot com where we have
twice: monthly mailing list and info about our upcoming live shows where we act out. Night fell right in front of You're, a real life faces. Today's proverb, only old fashioned, but I believe the universe was better when it, The dense single point, the.
From the creators of welcome to night, vale, Alice isn't dead and within the wires comes a new audible, original unlicensed in the outskirts of los angeles, with a cul de sacs and strip malls sprawl into the desert to unlicensed private investigator, scrape by on whatever small cases come their way, but when a teenage girl pleats for them to take the strangest case of their career, this unlikely pair with no resources and no backup will follow a trail of seemingly unconnected cases which will lead them to a ransom, a murder, a mysterious wellness center and a conspiracy that might go all the way to the governor. It's important to catch small fires early. They don't stay small film unlicensed available now at audible, dot com, slash unlicensed thank x.
Transcript generated on 2023-04-22.