It's contract renegotiation time at the station.
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A production of Night Vale Presents.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
The a jeffrey cranor,
This past year we ve been touring. Our lives, show the hunting of night veil in it so spooky and funny, and touching it such a fun shone with absolutely loved being back on the stage and the road getting to see
all of you in person around the world. Well, our final performance,
of the hunting of might fail or coming up at the end of this month. At the end of April only set,
performance is left starting April. Twenty first in newark, then we'll
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five hundred twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes in
economy welcome to night
its contract, renegotiation time again, listeners
spent five years since my last round with station management, and I think it's time for a raise. Ravings have been good for my show and while some of that has to do with city councils, recent ordnance requiring all radios to be tuned to the station at all hours, I'd like to think
some of our success, has to do with my top notch broadcast abilities by the way
the council and station management are still dating. It's been in
on again off again affair, but their living
together. Now
they bought a new house and adopted several cats, these
a birds are seen going to antique malls nearly every week at
we also wish to hear when station management is going to put the question.
But marriage or no these two-
multi, headed single bodied monstrosities seem quite happy together, cute, even
hoping this loving relationship has station management in a good mood today, still after
It happened five years ago I came prepared
I hired an agent, a lotta,
Big tabus
I know agents take a large cut, but it's worth it
I think that all the eyes or dotted and tease are crossed.
Not planning on asking for anything outlandish salary, wise. I really
like it here. Besides,
I don't know where else I would go. This is the,
We radio station in town-
mandated by the city council in loving,
lockstep, with their romantic partner. Oh ok
Getting a text from along sheet
me not to give way too much of my leverage by blabbing about my intentions. Ok, well, listeners! That's all
that's just between us, so don't tell anyone and now
traffic all roads, sidewalks and bite paths that led to the sand wastes are closed.
is the secret bunker for the? U S, president. In case of a catastrophe like global thermal,
nuclear warfare birds,
or heavy rain. I didn't know the president's topsy
bunker was located in night fail. How neat
I'm on the website right now. Oh, you can do tours theirs.
children's wing and a gift shop. That's something up!
on family day out sad
Though the bunker
is closed to the public, including the president along
all roads leading to the sand, wastes until further notice.
Earth. Secret police issued this order as they are
still looking for the body of Dana cardinal or her double
police paused. There search in the sand wastes this past week because they found a few dozen bodies which are all linked to several unsolved murders of the past. Sixty years
doktor, JANET Lou bell from the university of what it is reminded sheriff, SAM, that the university is funding. This search, not the city of night, fail
and doktor the bell wants to keep digging for Dana's double according to
Lou bell. The university.
What it is is not interested in solving murders
Solving murders is scientifically boring. She said explaining double
gangsters, on the other hand, is scientifically very interesting. She said,
that's what they're in the sand wastes to do
find the woman Dana cardinal killed on march fifteenth twenty thirteen.
Oh, take Galway road or marked alternate roots. Instead, this has been traffic.
Ok, listeners, my agent ilona, is here she
it's gone down the back hall to speak to station management. I warned her there.
Very dangerous. She told
She's dealt with plenty of high powered people. She
stands every intimidation technique in the book, but
I saw the terror on her face when she looked down the dark corridor. Lit
lee by pulsating or
glow, around a solid would door.
here sounds of snarling, then whimpering,
didn't chewing the net
of teeth was ravenous and wet
that must have been one of the sean's in sales asking for raise guy
a lot of steel herself and headed down the hall. I wished her luck and gave
a double thumbs up
she immediately vomited collected herself and reciprocate
My confidence gesture
when I last asked for a new contract. I didn't even get to see station management, I hadn't appoint
that morning, before my show- and I was nervous but prepared,
talk to them about my value to this radio station and community. But
We could even make it down the hall. The law
tore open. There was
burst of flame and crow about the size of a skateboard flew up
and handed me. A piece of paper
the contract
apparently already signed. It then arms,
the arms grabbed me from behind someone put a hood over my head and someone else ejected, because something when I
I was lying in the middle of the scrub lance. My phone
stead. My shoes were missing. I walked across hot
sharks, stones for twenty miles. Until I reached my home and when I walked in the door, carla
in all. My friends were throwing me a surprise party to celebrate my contract renewal. It was one
The happiest days of my life
but I never wanted to go
negotiations with station management. Again, that's why I,
along with this year. Speaking of it, it's been quiet to court
she's been in station managements office a long time, and I haven't heard, oh god, with a scream. I think that's a screen.
It sounds like a lot listeners. I know it stopped. She stopped
the noise is died away or oh, dear
We're alone has.
And now a public service announcement.
my fellow americans, today's
the climate is rife with government and corporate confluence and corruption and who
is truly looking out for the people there.
This country, what it is, whose
looking out for you and me the citizens
of this nation. That's right the count
for food, is
The council for food is an independent private
shadow enterprise based in an unmarked caribbean island whose only interest is spreading the word of boot. Yes, you heard that right,
the ingestion of food is vital for survival. Studies show that those who do not eat food are all dead which
That is also show is directly correlated to them, not eating food. Well, the council,
feed promotes the eating of feet. Things like cereal or blackened catfish
the council for food discourages people from eating nonfood things like styrofoam and guns way.
Stop right now. Harrison Kip were you.
about to eat that silica gel packet. You got in your pampered chef delivery, don't do it! Mister Kip
silica. Gel is not food eat some mustard instead
Mustard is shown to be at least sixty four point: eight percent food work. You concerned listen
must have many questions.
answered them all or
drinks. Food, yes, end up.
Can I give my children food? Yes all.
people can and should eat boot, where
is the food food is everywhere that food can be found. Iris
we've all my nutrients intravenously is that
eating food.
Yes, as long as those nutrients had been approved and delivered by a doctor is gum, food ah will get back to you on that one. So
start eating food today, like veil food, it's the best thing you can eat
message has been brought to you by the council for food.
Ok I'm texting a lotta.
trying to call her too, but there's no response listeners. I feel
the worst? Ok,
going to be a brave cecil rescue, her from the deadly grip of station managements clause or
jaws or whatever those things are that they have on their necks, can't get the wireless mike and I'm coming down. The hall
the orange glow around their office door is mild
everybody's in a good mood, maybe thirty
working out the finer details of the contract like vacation time, religious holidays, more cat treat
in the station restrooms, I'm
it's all fine, I'm, oh my god.
something oozing from underneath the door. It's glistening and dark red its following now, not using its gushing.
splashing nope nope nope, absolutely not
I'm going back to my desk right now we're I belong.
Address your soul, a of mactavish or maybe good luck depending
your current plaintive existence, but I cannot will not be going back there again under any circumstances.
Tractor no and
how financial news.
The stock market is wild. Today,
a real roller coaster of emotions, a real
see saw of feelings, are real
Elevator of sensations up
down the market goes and sometimes left and right front
back the market is
three dimensions for even
The dow jones industrial average gained two more
The comments,
but not in the number two
appeared suddenly in the middle of the word jones,
a comma o n e comma s,
Investors are dead quiet as this.
And announced that they were raising interest rates on the english language. Does that
one banker shouted before being tackled shushed, and
ultimately gagged by several other panicked traders. The new,
stock exchange in lower manhattan is throbbing with activity
literally
the building itself is expanding and collapsing, like the throat of a bullfrog in mating season,
the ceo of well spargo, who was a weasel- and here I mean that metaphorically, just a lying shirk that ceo they're not actually weasel. Of course the sea
well spargo. He is in fact a rat literally.
wrote it in a wood chips, strewn aquarium in a chico state, dorm room anyway,
The ceo well spargo said that they will pivot from paris
no and private banking too.
Ski rentals, beginning in quarter to
if you've got any money saved at wells, fargo you're. In luck, because
You can now redeem it for a two for one ride at their new charleston location down
appear. Eighty three next to the two molly truck. This has been finance. Well, this is a surprise
Doktor, JANET Lou bell and all of her terrible university of war
it is cronies- have arrived here at the radio station doctor the bells henchmen blake Jones-
man did the archived audio from march fifteenth twenty thirteen that was the date Dana cardinal killed. Her double right here in the studio while I was on the air I told doctor,
jones and doktor bluebell that oliver archives are held in station managements office, which is the truth doctor,
sneered and said: where is this
office? Oh, let me show you
I offered with a smile, but doc
bilbil said with folk kindness. No, you have
radio show to do mister, gershwin palmer. We can find it if you just point the way, and so I did
and now the entire staff of the university of what it is is in the office
of station management, the most savage beasts this
side of librarians
wish. I could see what stage should management is going to do to them this at the moment,
waiting for night bill. I could get a pay cut and I'd still
he thrilled with station management for finally
taking care of doktor the bell once and for all, though, not looking forward to cleaning up the mess when their done
glorious, newsnight, they'll, glorious news and now the weather.
Just a strange, strange ones and doing badly before the sun has gone in there. Just so sharp smile everything's, fine with me, you don't need to leave yeah. Why not stay there? S just a stranger, seemed on edge of everyone's know about you and shares the sirens. Spa spooky
The sanity is the key.
terrible news night veil, terrible news.
Doktor labelling. Your fellow scientists emerged unscathed from station managements offices. They were holding,
audio reel marked march, fifteenth twenty thirteen
They were astonished at how easy it was to find the archived recording of that show, but
or even more astonished at the condition of station managements office, it was like binding ruins, but almost
perfectly preserved blake jones said
and then he asked me. How long has this station been running without management? I didn't understand
I explained to them about the horrifying noises the glowing light under the door.
and how no human is allowed to look directly at station management that they vote
even one of the sean's from sales, and possibly even my agent. There was
long pause and then,
after the bell laughed after beat all
The other university sycophants laughed along with her doktor labelle, said o cecil
Your station management is just an orange lava. Lamp that's been plugged in, for god knows how long
and the noises were a halloween sound effects, cosette running on a loop there's, no one in that office and there hasn't been for decades.
I stammered something about
contract renewal about
the fire and the floor, opening up and entered the crow and
like John said: will you definite
I have a crow infestation
We also see signs of foundation damage. Here too, I should wait
Did you find my agent alot of activation? There.
They said they saw no one else in the office, then blake,
no one's began typing on his phone.
He turned the screen to me. It said cecil. I just look that name up alone up.
Big tabus died twenty years ago here
obituary there. She was
just as they said. A lot of
Travis dead at eight
Ninety seven april, first, two thousand three doktor labelling to be with real pity Mr Kerr from farmer who seem.
Sturbed, your perceived reality has been shattered. Hasn't it
I was waiting for a cease fire from these people, or at least an apology. I mean they.
already killed sera sultan. They killed the
no cloud and now station management I feel,
stay should management, yes, but
I didn't like them, but,
but they were my station management doctor bell, did not
back off, nor did she apologized. She said
we'd love to study this
fused brain of yours.
Come down to the university tomorrow morning for some tests at this one,
the scientists sniggered
How dare you I shouted get out and they did without incident, but before they got
the door. Doctor Jones turned back and said o
We found this and he handed me
The document it was my contract renewed for
another five years with a twenty
said, raise doctor jones
that's your handwriting, isn't it cecil could
be stationed, managements handwriting, they don't even exist, they ve been well, they ve been explained after
the left. I stood at the open door of station managements office. I had never been there before with open eyes.
it was covered in mounds of dust and cobwebs. There were no footprint sort,
any indication that anyone had been and therefore it
east forty years,
who was stationed management?
How do we even begin to mourn them?
How will city council more than I dread?
even thinking about the depths of their sorrow.
Why, with all the pain station management has put me through, should I grieve their death?
I'm scared thinking of running this radio station at my own. Maybe I'd love them like a really difficult family member or maybe I'm frightened for my town,
who's next to be explained away, sheriff sam Dana
rico, teddy williams me.
Carlos? No, I can't think of these things.
I must do what I do best and that is broadcast knife
this. Is your newly resigned radio host? In fact this is your brand new station manager
I am calling on each and every one of you to close your doors to the university of what it is. Do not read.
they're, my lab do not give them a hotel room, do not even offered them a glass of water
they must learn that they are not welcome here state to next.
for the sound of tears. Bear
the audible over the roar of
cleaner
and is always good night night fail goodnight hate
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The
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Transcript generated on 2023-04-22.