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26 - Faceless Old Woman (R)

2016-01-01 | 🔗

There is a faceless old woman secretly living in your home, and she has something she needs to say. Plus, former intern Dana is still alive and texting us from the forbidden Dog Park, Community Health Tips, and an update on the kittens. (This episode originally posted July 1, 2013.)

Guest voice: Mara Wilson (marawilsonwritesstuff.com)

Weather: "Black Doe" by Mary Epworth (maryepworth.com)

Music: Disparition, disparition.info.

Logo: Rob Wilson, robwilsonwork.com.

Produced by Night Vale Presents. Written by Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor. Narrated by Cecil Baldwin. More Info: welcometonightvale.com, and follow @NightValeRadio on Twitter or Facebook.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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they come tomorrow. It is, too late for us welcome to dig you there's a face, old woman who see Ridley lives in your home. It's true she's there. Now she's, always there just out your site I'm always just out of your sight, because
you cannot see her. You were put probably completely unaware that this woman likes to sift through photos of you and your loved ones. She saw He touches each face as if wishing it were her, oh or claiming it as her, oh or perhaps simply cursed, saying that person it's hard to say you never seen her doing this. The faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home does lots of things ever wonder why your web browsers history is filled with being searches for quote. Pictures of Ed, wolves or quote the melting. Of birds
or why sometimes your shower drain gets clogged with organ meats or why? Sometimes you hear from behind the war scratching of the front door or you awakened to find long silver hairs on the pillow extreme, or maybe you ve, never noticed any of those things. You ve lived your life to this point completely oblivious to this old woman who has no face and truth be told, I think she's probably harmless, but maybe you Couldn't sleep in your home any more just in case ladies and Gentlemen Dana
continued to send me texts from beyond the tall black fences of the dog park, even the dog park is forbidden to citizens and their dogs Dana manage to get in and is now trap. Therefore, who know How long first off she says: she's, ok, She says she has met some nice people and she's never board. She met them. And indeed hand jacket who has been Hon in this city for the past few months, in fact- Dana says the man in the TAN jacket is quite nice they really struck up quite a friendship. She still trying to figure out what the man's involvement is with the hooded figures and the recently deceased Apache Tracker and the too
Amy underground civilization of war mongers, who live below lay in five of the desert Flower Bowling Alley and arcade fun complex, he he has seem to pop up in relation to a lot of strange events. She's so trying to figure out what he looks like every time she steps away from that guy. She can't remember a thing about him. Just he's wearing a tan jacket and carrying a d. Your skin briefcase, oh, and that brief ACE Dana says he's kind of weird, because it's full of flies and that's kind of creepy at first until you realize that here fly salesman and that their all trained can retrieve mail and speak German and play dead.
And all kinds of cute things. She says, he's up be cool guy? If you get to know him, oh- and I almost forgot- Dana wonders if any listeners with a good arm can get kind of close to the dog park and throw some beans or ships or beef jerky or something over the tall fence, she's very hungry. In fact. It took me a while to get through her typos listeners. She must be shaking really badly. And now a public service announcement from greater night veil, medical community are you. Feeling run down even after eight hours of sleep are, you have in trouble breathing between the hours of two and four you gaming, several extra pounds of weight.
Only to lose those pound. Suddenly and then giving them back. All in five to six hours stretches of time. Are you crazy soil like all the time rich,
dark soil that you just want cooling your tongue, feeling your throat, your sinuses, your lungs, your belly. Are you digging up the earth in the early morning screaming at the half formed son, as if it would cordially leaning returning you to the darkness you so richly deserve and psychologically demand? If you answered yes to all of those questions, then your fine, the programme is working. All tests have been successful and phase for his eminent. This has been. Community health tips. More on the faceless old woman who see greatly lives in your home, She has issued a statement to the media job
now. Here is that statement and can used, there's no sense to how you organize the objects in your fridge. I cannot do it I'm in any sense of order systems. Do you use to contain your vegetables, your cans, your jars, food stands Our stains organic brow and pink smears until tell the esoteric history of your food. I, like the I wish one near the crisper, because I think it is the oldest it hesitant how CAFE I do not like all of these bugs you have in your home, like some of them also change your sheets. You do not change our sheets enough, I think you are unsanitary, but I think you would feel better if you changed your sheets from time to time, and time is weird because it doesn't exist for me in the same way so you're, It's already covered with your bones and hair and blood, but not yet not really. Yet
I wish you could see me just cleaning and reorganising making so so the nonsense, plants and muscles in your fridge, but you never if you just glanced left and right every so often you see me I'm right next to you right now. I'm leaving in the mirrors, You just stare at yourself staring yet your overripe potato, with a face, and therein every mere you could just look for me in the background behind Also, what's your wife, I passed me so that's the old woman special announcement. I have now my dear how we received that recording who recorded it, how an old woman with no face and by it then no mouth could speak so clearly, but it was very informative
Maybe you should try paying more attention when your at home or better, yet this Roy all of your mirrors, as my mother used to tell me, some one's going to kill you one day, Cecil and it will involve a mirror mark I words child and then she would stare absently through my eyes until I giggled. Ah I miss her so much less there's a lot of you have written in asking for photos of cash at this stage impact and to learn what became keep the kittens, but station management did not let us keep the kittens, but they have been. Given away too good homes, unfortunately like car,
the cats are also stuck floating in fixed points in space. So their owners will have to visit them right where the reborn right here the station bathroom cos. That covers about four feet, the air, but some of those Little ones are as high as nine it's sad. I'm we take a rest room break at work. I wish I had some photos: nice to see them every time we take a rest break at work. I wish I had some photos to share with you, but allow ass, radio, Who is not a visual medium? Also, the last three staff: birds that took photos not on We found that cautious does not show up in pictures, but those staff members also died. Pretty agony, seeing deaths the weak fall away. So
refraining from even describing what he looks like, oh, but I did make a quick. Recording of the Meow Kasza makes when it's time to eat like I said, I'm, not a cat person, but Kasza has found a truly special place in my heart. I'm getting word that authority, These are surrounding your home. These authorities are secret agents from a vague, yet menacing government agency. You are probably looking. Out your window now to see these agents, but they are highly covert You cannot see them, even if you a card. These
we trained men and women can expertly disguise themselves as trees and doors and birds and feral cats and win gusts of them have even disguise themselves as one item of furniture in your home. I am not at liberty to even speculate which one but your power we'll be looking at it right now, the vague, yet menacing government agency seems upset. That faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home, spin, alerting you and the media to her presence, I mean we all knew she was there.
They know about the faceless old woman that hides in all of our homes. It's not dissimilar to knowing that Santa Claus isn't actually real. Everyone accepts young children. Of course, no, whose Santa is this huge population of heavily sedated and costumes, bears that the c I a let loose across the country. Every christmassy and, like the Santa Claus, myth it's important. We keep up the image that we all don't know. The truth like. Let's all pretend Santa is a gift giving old man and not a drug dub government there and
in the same vein: there's o faceless old woman hiding in your whole anyway the agents or encroaching on your home now and preparing to use deadly force. I liked it. Oh you that you need to run to get. Prove there now to save yourself, but it is too late. Every inference an exit is barricaded, I'm afraid you are due. Unfortunately, the faceless old woman must know something
She must know secrets some very important bits, but the vague yet menacing government agency hold dear and those secrets are probably about you. Perhaps she is planning to reveal your purpose here. Perhaps you two are connected, albeit unwittingly, to the vague get menacing government agency, and this information cannot must not be share. You are a walking top secret document and now on the verge of this revelation, you must be destroy on the plus side. You had a purpose, and that is more than most of us can say you will be missed. So for your last moments, though, surely not ours, I gave you the weather
the faceless,
old woman, see really living in your home, wants to. Apologize to you. She has issued another statement. I'm sorry, mostly. I just wanted to figure out how to get online. I set the wireless router and that helped, but you use chrome and you never clear your cache or history, and it was so slow I downloaded Firefox for you and that seems to be working much better. I heard the mayor's retiring and I wanted to know if mayoral candidates were required to have faces. I have some good ideas. I think, would help this town. Like one thing, I think, as we can increase school funding while still lowering taxes. It's an end. The plan and I'm gonna build a website that explains it and other great ideas. I have a good help. This town I'm very excited to announce my candidacy for night bail, mayor, Also I let your fridge on fire. Thus upsetting me
Now I'm smoking cigarettes and no taking your copy of infinite chess. She I didn't leave a name or a website. You are l and I'm not sure how she can read websites or books at all, without a face and by Extension eyes, We have also received word that the covert a It's from the vague get menacing government agency have retreated and have obviously not used deadly force, as you are still alive, regardless of how dead you feel inside they did, however, release save rule thousands spiders into your home a fortune. Lee for you, like the faceless, old woman? You will be
unable to see these spiders. Unless you look closely, they are highly trained. Spiders moving just outside of your periphery, but and this is also just like the faceless old woman from time. Two time you will feel in brushing against your soft cheeks and lips, as you sleep so keep your eyes open listeners Let us all keep our eyes open. It's not always easy. No. Who and what once to be seen. But when you look around, you pay a tent into those fuzzy and dark corners, pier deeper into those predictable patterns like walls and move furrow that brow and seek visual truth,
veil. If you could only see you're, not seeing if you could only take in all the complex layers of horrors lie just beyond to a range of signed, You could only see the world as really is it awful and fire and beautiful listeners, stay to next or our new is tit programme open mouth. Chewing tonight's topic glass shards. How d the most out of a bad situation until next time, good night, night, veil, good night.
Looking tonight, veil is the production of night veil presents, it is written by Joseph Think and Geoffrey Greener and produced by Joseph think. The voice Val Cecil Baldwin, the voice of the faceless old woman was Mara Wilson. You can read her writing at Mara. Wilson, write stuff dot com original music by disposition, all that can be found at dispersion, dot info or at disposition, dot band camp dot, com. Episodes whether was black dough by Mary Uproar find out more at Mary s worth dotcom comments, questions email? I sat info at welcome tonight: rail dot com. Followers on twitter
it fell. Radio check out welcome to night fell dot com for more information on this show, as well as all sorts of cool nightingale stuff you can own and wider their consider. Click don't you I'd be cool of you. Today's proverb how to have a successful podcast number one learn but podcasting is number two do I need a MIKE Number three cereal is a thing right number for, like the radio,
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Transcript generated on 2020-02-15.