The Antiques have escaped from the Antiques Mall. Plus, a very scientific update from afar, new management at StrexCorp, and the return of Children's Fun Fact Science Corner.
The voice of Carlos was Dylan Marron.
Weather: "State of Mine" by Stöj Snak (music.stojsnak.com)
Music: Disparition, disparition.info
Logo: Rob Wilson, robwilsonwork.com
Produced by Night Vale Presents. Written by Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor. Narrated by Cecil Baldwin. More Info: welcometonightvale.com, and follow @NightValeRadio on Twitter or Facebook.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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It's actually darkest. After all, the stars have gone out, it's very
welcome to night
We begin this new here with some troubling new
Frances Donaldson owner of the antique Small, has reported.
That's some of her antiques, have escaped
She said that when she fed them this morning, they were all accounted for, but when
went back for the usual mid afternoon: watering, the fence,
had been caught and
for half of the antiques we're missing they didn't escape.
She corrected reporters who were just trying to talk to her a bit about what had happened, we're just doing
Their best to help her out
and so did it need to have their heads bitten off or using a different word, but whatever they didn't Esq
she said they were set free,
all surveillance cameras in the immediate vicinity, and this,
it's not a particularly interesting or dangerous part of night veil, so there were only three hundred and forty four
had been disabled
or moved to point away from the antiques pan.
War had their tapes replaced with
Each US cassettes full of Matlock episodes recorded
and re recorded over each other, so that each tape shows go
of every Matlock at once.
A single, unified Matlock through the flicker and warp
the secret police one citizens that antiques are
wild animals and, while generally friendly there,
hey can be unfair.
Dick the bull
if you see an antique, do
not approach it simply
your hands over your chest
cream, where all
about to be eaten
run blindly away,
oh it's possible. This may cause the antique too in
thankfully go into hunting behaviour and chase you. We didn't bother
There are two check. Look, we were kind of busy was,
something stopping you from doing this: research, the sheriffs
secret police concluded before
taking their heads and melting back into the walls, strict corpse.
Dinner nests ink, the company
difficult to describe without using the illegal term angels,
not remember them. If your memory has been altered or erased anyway,
the whole, of course, now owned by beings that are toward
to describe without using the illegal term angels, but who are all
all named Erika as part,
Their continual process to turn the power of strict Corp toward the betterment of our world. The Erika
have started the process of releasing those people whose lives strikes. Corp took possession of
During what could be termed it's bad
boy days or disturbing,
capitalist held days, whichever you
Those released is Janice. Rio from down
the St Louis
seen entering the condo, which you should definitely never do never go into
Also released. Lucy
an Hannah Gutierrez,
Former owners of the former White Sand ICE Cream shop- that's
bankruptcy, led to their lives being confiscated by strikes day
looking well and fit no
worse for the. Where than any ordinary person who is say impressed
And by the City Council, in the abandoned mine, shaft outside of town for voting incorrectly on municipal elections,
order to get better results, the Kickstarter is labelled as being for a blunder can plug an Iphone into to get real.
Pledge to restart their ice cream shop and our
currently running a kickstarter together,
together the funds in order
get better results. The kickstarter is labelled as being for a blunder. You can plug an Iphone into to get right
you'll time blending stats an earth
blending points on the blending community. It is not
Surely for that though, it's boring.
Ice cream shop
and I don't know about you, but I can't wait to
have another bite of that magical Gutierrez ICE Cream,
God Boeing's, who live
in these shambling orphan housing development down by the haunted baseball diamond said it is
sadness. What we do to-
each other. It is
and they gnashing of teeth. I do
this was in relation to strict score or
but he walked by and said that to me. So I thought
throw it in Baghdad.
And now another edition of the children's fun fact. Science corner stick out your tongue farther
far there is
that really, as far as you can get it, I
you can get it a little farther than that wow! That's like three four.
It honestly hygienic. I
elected, an inch or so ha?
now it's at five feet
How long is your tongue? Hello,
the tongue supposed to be. Can we get some
to check on that.
This is starting to
Rick me out a little your endless tongue. This was about
to be a fun and challenging exercise, but now I'm questioning everything about myself
my life, I'm I'm
your tongue is reaching out the door, it's down,
street. It's it's rolling out of town. Look how
oh far, your tongue stretches,
You have not done well young child, but you ve, Sir,
only done something.
You certainly have an somewhere, the two
of your tongue, is still rolling on tat,
still no world that neither it
nor, you can see say,
are you related to never mind it doesn't matter, oh god,.
Oh god, that that tongue, that
have heard creature,
children's fun fact: science coroner.
There are many reports coming in about the missing antiques.
People have seen, antique tracks have heard creatures
rooting around in their garbage grazing on their lawns loping through their back guards
It has been difficult to tell which direction the antiques are moving
because many of these reports contradict each other.
And most are like. Leave people mixing up the antiques we
other similar. Looking animals like ours for hyenas or bacteria,
in turn, Maureen? Who has
told been in turn longer than anyone
I can remember
well done. Maureen anyway,
Marine is back at school right now, so her friend actor is taking over for a bit. I hector
great to have you on it,
Hector is waving p
he doesn't have a MIKE, so his hello doesn't exist, for you
nothing exists for you outside of my voice, saying, does anyway actor
can you do me a favor and go check out. What's going on with the escaped antiques report
are muddled and we need some one on the ground so to speak,
In the ground, as they say very
deep in the earth
as the saying goes, to understand. What's really going on here actor
he is nodding
now that nod exists for you to buy Hector.
Until we see you again very soon and very well, I'm sure now
Imagine a man,
This is a simple command, leading to millions of conceivable scenarios.
Imagine this man,
every possible physical form low
Haitian, an condition that a man can be in Paris
this man has been dead so long. He is dust perhaps
who imagining dust- and perhaps you are not wrong?
Imagine a man!
Imagine him there
say buzzing light bulb above him.
He is standing on. What could loosely be called the porch?
What could loosely be called a tin shack, the light bulb buses and buses. He look.
Some in irritation.
You were wrong to imagine him as dust.
You have him now.
Do you know what he looks like
Imagine a man
No I'm sorry! No you, you were incorrect.
And so the weekly find the man I'm thinking of contest will roll over to the next week. This is the
three hundredth consecutive week without a winner and the price.
As for next week will be the three hundred and one custom made pencils. That say, I won a thing.
I hope someone wind soon the giant
That's a pencils here started.
Get in the way of things.
Oh guess, who's in the studio with me. Well, not
surely with me, but projecting himself into our physical plain. That's right! My
favorite, scientist and yours, but
Firstly mine Carlos, I ceased
Carlos. I know we just talked last night, but
or the listeners. Why don't
you tell us what's new out in the desert other world, your trap, that
desert other world you're spending some time in Well
I've been doing so much interesting research. I've learned
Composition of the rocks, which are not of our world.
The composition of the components of the rocks, which are
of our world. Strangely- and I am
trying to figure out how many stars there are. I mean they're, always
changing size and position, but I do think there are a lot of stars
that sounds very scientific. Oh it is so scientific. The most scientific
I don't think I've ever been more of scientific, and you know how
much. I love science. Oh yes, I am also airy into science
I miss you know touching. I miss this. Listen,
you can't see, but I'm trying to hold his hand and my hand, is just going through him because he is not actually here. I know
that's why I'm working on a way for you to visit. I thank you.
Like it here it's
interesting and there is so much science plus the people are,
We friendlier here people at nightfall
it can be a little. No, I I know.
I suppose it couldn't hurt
take a little visit, but I knew
to be back in my radio desk soon it can be difficult
to ask station management for time off, work. Great, so
I'll. Let you know when I figure out exactly how to get you here. I can
a way to see you in person again me. Neither can not wait. Cannot
oh ok up meet me. Neither it's gonna be good as well.
Thank you so much for this highly relevant report that had important information for every one in town, thanks Carlos by Cecil,.
Bad news listeners it see.
Is that the antiques have gathered around city Hall and are behaving in threatening ways toward any one trying to leave or enter
We are getting reports that, while City Council has already safely evacuated using a rocket sled that they keep for this very purpose. Mayor
Dana Cardinal is
still trapped inside
Sheriffs secret police are responding quickly.
Issuing press releases to explain why it's definitely not their job to deal with this situation, because, frankly, it seems pretty dangerous and scary. They
but the day have activated all available officers to work hard on deflecting responsibility away.
From them, as the sheriffs secret police slogan goes not our job, not our problem
No, I'm being told that the antiques have found a way into city hall.
The pact is entering the building city,
I've been infiltrated by hungry antiques, with no one left to protect our mayor. Who will protect Dana someone.
We'll know one step forward.
Is anyone even listening to this? What
what kind of town or we, what kind
of town are
we also here's the weather.
We watch rangy blaze, where we really way about saying just where we really want to be really and there will be well listeners
Well, well, listeners. It seems
It seems that all is well.
We don't know how, but
beloved mayor is safe once again, a person
of unknown identity appeared on the scene.
Into the city hall and single handedly, defending the mayor's office against the pack of antiques.
Foolish of that person. That person could have been killed or
They were. We
don't know who the person is or where they went, and
their fate is, is non existent. As
Anything else I do not or cannot voice
A cardinal gave a message of thanks saying
whoever you are. Thank you. I do not
speak for the town
before the city government. I speak for myself,
as a person as a human.
All of blood and worry. Thank you.
For keeping me safe. She said.
Pamela Winchell, director of him
region, press conferences held an emergency press conference in which she had.
Into the mayor's statement by saying clouds or the belt.
Of the sky. Cinch them tighter make the cloud
Let's go tighter make
Sky, come closer before
we're hurling herself into the sky,
Till she was just a in the upward distance.
So that seems to be another crisis, averted I'll, be
in a sudden and if I may be frank, as a journalist net.
Protectively unsatisfactory way
Perhaps we will never know
that unknown Savior is or
HU, the unknown liberator of the antiques, was
Perhaps we will never know anything. We have
certainly never known anything at all. But wait
turn Hector is returning pay her,
did you see who the unknown benefactor was? Do you have any information Hector is ACT.
He is holding up his arm there.
Is a tear
in the skin a deep and jagged awful
He has been bitten actor
it was you wasn't it. I sent you to run
port and instead you involved yourself- and I thank you.
For doing so ordinary.
That would be a violation of journalists,
standards which clearly say we should never help when we could nearly watch but Dana Dana
a friend of mine, and so I thank you
for ignoring our sacred rules, just this once
the honest I wouldn't have thought actor was the type to do something like that were even visit.
The strong enough to fight off an entire pack of antiques, but people can
Surprise you, that is
The things that people can do, but at bite
you know what happens to someone who is bit by an antique actor is unable to speak
has been unable to speak since he arrived listeners. Of course
Anyone beaten by an anti.
Becomes an antique themselves turn after. If only there was something I can do for you
He is transforming
his body is along gating
and the lower reg.
His shoulders turned to home she's his,
Two wings, his
the two bladed multi legs. He is becoming an antique before my eyes, and I can do nothing for him for
Brave young person who saved my dear friend Dana.
He's out of sight now I can hear only a click
The a improvement must have fully transformed into an antique.
Acta is there.
Any trace of your old self laughed.
Where are you already
beating me catapult understood. You tore hee, hee, hee, hee, kid committees, Kenny
He rattling in the ceiling.
And there is a fear,
students dripping onto my desk? I dare not look for its source hum coming up next
Hopefully, the sound of my successful escape from this room, who just touch me actor actor.
Well this is it one way or another? Here I go listeners
and here you go
Radio silence in
places and times where my voice can no longer guide you good night night veil, goodnight
it will be ready by
and friends of internet welcomes
night is the production of commonplace books. It is written by Joseph Think and Geoffrey trainer and produce
by Joseph think. The voice
avail. Cecil Baldwin, the voice of Carlos was Dylan Marin original music.
By dispersion all of it
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Transcript generated on 2020-02-15.