Did you know that for the last five years we have been making night vale episodes for our patreon members that do not get released on our podcast. It's true. There are years of full bonus episodes behind the scenes. Discussions the in world characters may fail answering questions by aren't listeners and all sorts of fun oddities like a full episode of Steve Carlsberg in the world podcast or the bonus episode we just released this month, which is the reporting you hear if you are unfortunate enough to be caught, doing something against the rules failed projects to give you a taste of what you can expect. We are putting up here the very first around only bonus episode. We did back in two thousand and eighteen a fun one about seats on Carlos, his honeymoon, which is interrupted by a very rude guest if you enjoy. I encourage you to head on over to welcome to night phil, dot, com and click on Patreon or go to pitch around and just search for us. There are five years of these bonus episodes waiting for you, along with director's notes on every episode, monthly zoom hangouts with the night vale creators the opportunity to have yourself inserted into the show as a character and, most importantly, we literally can't make the show without our patrons you would be helping our show existed. Thank you. We will see do new episodes in the welcome to night. Vale is brought to you by progressive home of the name, your price,

tool. You say how much you want to pay for car insurance and they'll show you coverage options that fit your budget. It's easy to start a quote: visit progressive dot com to get started, progressive, casualty, insurance company in affiliates pricing coverage match limited by state law summer vacation. It's what comes between sir eviction and autumn vacancy. Well, two listeners h rob the goals holiday. Is there any

sweeter combination of words in the english language. Well, it is why I said that cellar door is the most beautiful phrase in english. Interestingly, cellar door is also the leading cause of death among nightingale citizens. But we are not here to speak of the seller. P bull and their crimes. We are here to listen to me. Talk about the great vacation I just had you know the new who is Carlos and I had the most romantic trip for two to the dueling, palms, resort on the beautiful tropical aisles of baronne bow. We were, celebrating our third anniversary together and anyway, for years spent in the searing heat of the desert. You just want to take it. trip somewhere, nice and cool. Like the tropics, he was thrilled when I surprised him with the tickets. he said something about the two of us discovering ourselves: ores, like that, and I was like ok yeah. Let's do that with

worker readers buy up the doing palms was a jewel honour jewel within a jewel. three jewels being nice hotel, a beautiful island and crystal see, respectively, He said something about unpacking and I said start with bathing suit bunny, because we are getting in that swimming pool cecil. Came to me with the idea of a trip to baronne boat, which is home to the rare books and screening parent. Several tropical flavoured molecules tat had never been able to study in this desert climate. It sounded. We need rules, great scientific expedition. Yes, the two of us can make such discoveries together. I think already of the research papers, we could generate just on the parasites that feed on

screaming parrot, let alone the never performer structure of the island, ass, dick mangle, molecule. Okay, we, he said ok, sure Let's do then he's taken. Aback but I was bringing him even the scientific process, but, like surprisingly excited about it, the dueling pa was a first class resort, a third class supermarket and by the standards of a cunning and medical research centre. It was well, it was terrible since it had a few laboratories or medical equipment and mostly was made up of hotel rooms and swimming pools I'll just, I need to unpack my lab set everything up and then we can get right to work. I said he suggested we start with some aquatic research and it seemed as good a place as any. He never gets to do science, so I definitely wanted him to take the lead and research, the things that interested him most.

I am the faces old woman who secretly lives in your home. Yes, that was there to secretly. but they weren't home, they were in a hotel on vacation, Why were you secretly living with him on vacation? You might demand of me if you are very brave, or a foolish. I dont know I this kind of ended up: they're, not Why are how without worse places to secretly live for a bit de lounged, I read a cry I'm thriller secretly, reclining beach, chair sake. I got a tan and of course I saw I always see were several swimming pools, including a spell

you'll pool that only those who understood time well enough to definitely say how old they were for sure were allowed to swim in that one had a swimmer barred. Much view were more taxes than the less luxurious tools and these superfine underwater speakers that played the pitiful cry of all those who had previously died in the poor. We didn't just lounge and eat. Of course I mean that's mainly what we did vacation and that what we are who did activities? We zip lined, we re we see. Is we wrote horse? is on his zip line, which was complicated and terrifying, and I think the horses like did much at all We also went horse rioting where we joined a group of force activists

concerned about the structure of a society in which they are systematically displaced and often forced on capitalist, zip lines against their will and expressing those concerns by committing acts of property violence. It was great fine, the one thing I did it. Get, was cordless, kept asking us to walk around in the jungle or ills and stuff was tiring and not relaxing at all. I came here too away from it all not to work ground experiencing and learning things until my feet. A best part was definitely the hiking expeditions. We took in search of the irksome screaming parent, I warmly hiking lab code and plenty of water in various beakers, strapped to my waist cecil, along the portable broadcasting equipment, even though she wasn't communicating with anyone. He just doesn't like

to be too far from a microphone at any time. Isn't he had to work he is at. That was that there was the answer to that question like scientifically. She is horrible. I could show you charge like action. I should show you charge. Look, let me get the right, never mind, never mind you! You don't need me to show you charge. Just empirically he is adorable. Just know that I will be honest, though he's not the best research partner, we both went on this trip for the same reason, to make great scientific breakthroughs, but he let his attention wander, preferring to spend bunch of his time waiting about uselessly in large. In ground

hank of watered even after I had determined that it was filled with so many chemicals that there was some loosely nothing scientifically useful about it and then even more baffling we she would want to just sit by this off, for the lack of a better tournament pool of water and drink cold drinks. the tropical molecules, I would say we need to study them. Oh, wishes. He would say: are those under rum punches on the menu or somewhere else, and he was all it asking for timely paper umbrellas with his drinks, despite the fact that it would be totally useless against even the weakest tropical shower, we're lots of reasons to lever, relaxing tropical vacation But I think the biggest reason is that you are often pursued by huge venomous snakes, many snake acting in an unnatural, hyper, intelligent unison to hunt you

nothing reminds you more about how much you appreciate the one you love and when you take their hand deeply into their eyes, and then run screaming together as the snake converge upon your briefly human bodies across baron fields of love, her up black eyes so many couples get devoured. By the snakes, some by the sharks first by the unrealistic expectations they placed on themselves to be different people in a different couple, if only put into a different context as location was the same self, which it is not you are you, wherever you are only the quantity of deadly predators surrounding the changes it's like they say you can't run way from yourself, although a few are ever out one day and see yourself coming towards you something. airbus is happening in you should at least try to run this scientists and his radio boyfriend for fine? They had

experience with her life, threatening life is, and so hardly even noticed. All the things I could have killed them as they travel left for me to notice enter right down there every possible death and sharply in the insights of their tee shirts. We opted for the private dinner for two, which was an absolutely picture perfect romantic situation in We got a normal table in the middle of their crowded restaurant, but they draped both of us and the table with a heavy canvas, so that no one could see us and we could eat within that oppressively hot incompletely, dark bubble of romance it was just reading and the fruitless, fancy and by fancy I mean it was small. It was this. food. There was a p, so the size of a quarter, a cheese plate that was mostly plate and him berger so in that it contained no

at all of these. What these shifts can do with these romantic date spots careless and I could not stop talking about health roaming It was because the key to making evening, romantic is to regularly announced that it is romantic. He's just at a quick meal break from our studies and I agreed a fed. It is a useful mind. I will always be saying now that I've just thought of that. Well anyway, but The meal break went on for some time and he kept steering the conversation away from our science work and instead saying things like look. How tiny, the steak is isn't that just most fancy romantic thing: how little food there actually giving us I dont see much romance in eating

romance and work in research. Can you think of anything more romantic than working regularly with the person you love having your patient intertwined with your passion, you're and achieving both try to write this long where he vision on the scene chalkboard at the same time Frankly, though, despite his repeated statements that he has definitely verily into science, these days, cecil has never shown much interest in this subject, and that is ok our interests, Don't have to demands all of the time. I could show you on this other chart where I've mapped out, but basically it's

I mean as long as our interests include each other and a respect for what the other person does and they do, the the they very much do so this chart shows all of them. Can't. I don't know why I'm displaying a charge on the radio that was so silly of me any the meal Amy meal was ok also crouch under the canvas with them like to crouch in the darkness with people when they think they're alone. I often crouch right next to you. when you are alone in the dark Imagine how startled he would be to switch on a light and find a faceless old woman just next to you watching, waiting I enjoy imagining how startled he would be

talkative. One could not stop saying things like listeners. This is so romantic and community calendar time tonight will be the pinnacle of romance already is in fact this has been community calendar. The scientists just wanted to eat his tiny bites of food and get out from under the canvas is very hot and their partly because, I built a little fire and was ready the clipping away bits of their napkins and adding those bits to the fire then. After the meal they took a walk. And it was here that the target of one stop talking so much and the scientists stopped worrying about science and they walked hand in hand down the beach. We walked hand in hand down the beach, and I looked at sea. So I looked at Carlos an angel. Do it that, even though we were far from home, even though we were far from this distant place so

friend from our little town. Despite this, I was not distant. I was in a place, I know well a place. I know better than any because each other's arms, the arms of the one. I love more than any other we're not even in the arms. This is not only about touch, although It is also about touch, but just near each other place to living their lives that were separate lives but separate lives, live together, a hand and arm of laugh a kiss, a hand and arm a laugh. it's just the sleeping snoring and displaying of it the waking up together, bleary eyed and warm we were far from night fell, but we had never left home. We for whom the entire your time a home with no geography

a home that has no walls or roof a home that is not a place, not a place, not a place, but a person, but a person. A purse and so, no matter how far we ever go. as long as we go there together, we will still be home a home that is not a place, but a person. Ok, yet why I was there now because I was secretly living in there. You know Apparently I secretly livin metaphorical homes to let's get to know. Let's get to know the great way to get some free vacations. well, so anyway, there's a spider on your leg, and I think it can tell me valuable secrets about. You

I'm going to encourage it to have lots of children. I hey hey thanks for taking me on vacation. Thank you forget with me on vacation, see you soon, see you soon, bunny a listeners. It is great fun to travel the world with the one I love the world is terrifying and awesome and move in on it gives you knew exciting perspectives on what a dangerous and ultimately fatal place. It is but spite all the wonders of tourism, the roman survey, romantic get away nothing more solid and satisfying than a romantic. Oh, what's the opposite of a get away a stay here I don't know, but

Do you know the only thing better than travelling around with the person I love is coming back again with the person I love. We were turned with shared memories and they become part of our lives going forward, an ocean air and cocktail tinted waiver too. Steady home life routine, and each memory of it becomes a brief echo of that waiver for even a moment, and each moment adds up to an entire life made up of our The wing wavering memories, we had a good time, in bahrain, bo oh I am sorry that we accidentally sank it. I thought that was the large see. Shall I was picking up. That's ok, I'm not gonna, be myself up about it! Stay to next the sound of some strange captive bird flapping uselessly.

the boers that hold it and from a home is made up of the person. I love not the location Then I love him in good night night veil support for welcomed. Night fail comes from the pot cast bystanders if you will like dark comedies check out the newest season of the bystanders. Podcast bystanders has a story that had cast featuring kathleen turner. Margaret great Joe LE truly oh jane lynch luke cook Beth Dover wayne night John rise and daring cress. You are clearly a fan of fiction, podcast

you're, not listening to this once you know how a good one can just carry you along. Take you out of wherever you are and transport you into it's weird and funny world, so don't wait, joined the bystanders today available now on apple pot casts or at the bystanders podcast dot com. This show was sponsored by better help. There's no road map for life, sure you can read books and articles and get advice from friends, but it's all on you to make the decisions. I struggle with this tyranny of choice. Him sometimes halts me in my tracks, though. Its through ongoing talk therapy that I feel empowered

to make my own path better help can help you to to find the right. Someone better help us customize online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist. So you don't have to see anyone on camera. If you don't want to, let therapy be your map with better help, visit, better help, dot com, slash night vale today to get ten percent off your first month. That's better help. H e l, p, dot com, slash night vale! The tonight to is the production of night veil presents. It is written by Joseph think and Geoffrey cranor and produced by Joseph think the voice of nightmare is cecil baldwin the voice of key her loss was doing meringue. The voice of the faceless old woman was morrow Wilson, original music by desperation all of it. He found at desperation, dot info or at desperation, dot band camp dot com thanks for don't

getting everyone. We couldn't do without you. Today's proverb, if you get lost in the world remember that moss grows on the north side of trees and also well on you. If you are lost for too long, the this show was sponsored by better help. Where am I going with my life, I mean, I know what my job is, but that's not everything learning to be a better friend, colleague, son and so on are things I've always struggled with. I read books on these topics and even get advice from people, but it's through my therapy that I learned to sort through all that information and find my own way and better help can help. You find the right someone to help you with that. To better help is customized online therapy. It's convenient accessible.

Fordable an entirely online get match for the therapist after filling out a brief survey and switch therapists any time, let there be be your map with better help, visit better help, dot com, sash night veil today to get ten percent off your first month. That's better help, hd lp dot com, such night veil, hey all its jeffrey greener. So I do another fiction, podcast called within the wires which are so brees told through the guise of found audio each season as a separate tale. You want a prison escape told through relaxation tapes that season one when a love story that unfurls through voice messages only season five. How about the revelations of an unexplained death told through a series of museum audio guide season? Two there are seven seasons of within the wires for you to binge right now, each only ten episodes long so go get within the wires wherever you get your podcasts are acts.