« WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1362 - Whitney Cummings

2022-09-01 | 🔗
Whitney Cummings left the garage twelve years ago after a conversation with Marc and couldn’t shake something he said to her. It bothered her for years until she finally decided to own it and turn it into the name of her new standup special. Whitney and Marc hash out what happened during that initial WTF episode and get into all the things that have transpired since, including where they’re both at with their lives and comedy today. They also talk about horses, codependency, crying and TikTok. 

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey folks, today's episode is sponsored by square space squares bases, the only all in one to you need to build your brand and grow your business online stand out. The crowd with square spaces, beautiful website templates and the new video studio and the best part. Is it's really easy to use? We used to make w t, have pod dot com and we love our sight. Go two squares based dotcom, slash, w tat for a free trial and when you are ready to launch use, offer code, w e f to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website. or domain that squares based dot com, slash w E f code, w e F, all right. Let's do this. How are you what the fuckers, what the fuck bodies, what the rocket delegates what's happening? A mark mare- and this is my pod gas. Obviously I am broadcasting from somewhere,
then my garage studio, Santos I'm out in the world amount canadian world, Canada having a vacation. Is that ok, I don't take many vacations. I travel out, but I dont do the vacating much so right is that a word vacationing. I think vacating there mean something different. That would mean I'm leaving right, doesn't matter he took anything up. Vacationing is the word I'm looking for someone I'm away for a bit, but I did want to continue to do my podcast while em away as I am want to do as I say, as I want to do, as as as I do. First of all, before even talk about who the guest is, it was exact Thirteen years ago today, we released the very first episode of wmd F, that was September first too, thousand and nine is that crazy? Is that crazy? I mean do you remember, died by barely remember, but I can
Remember the panic. I remember the panic of probably the first, eight years of doing the show this constant, fucking panic, of making sure that we honoured our responsibility. And are our promise we made to ourselves but up a new show every monday in every thursday, no matter what, since september, first two thousand and nine in there some crazy times I mean the show, has evolved initially there like nine pod, casts in the world that people listen to there. They were around I'm not saying that you know we invented at night, and I won't say that I I don't. I think we we kind of help to define I wouldn t new world of podcasting is the business and what not, but at the beginning we were doing it. the middle of the night, not in the middle of the night, but after hours at a radio studio,
and it evolved into what it is now, but from the very beginning it was always we gotta do the two shows and they have been different variety. a panic, and then there is also the panic about social media. Forms getting it out there. How does it all work? It was the fascinating about the whole thing, especially given where podcasting is currently is it was like the beginning in what it all became it it s just, it's kind of unreal to me to think that we started stealing time in a radio studio with random segments. Some guests evolve. The more when I moved back to allay- and I put it in the garage the garage was not set up- is it a studio? Was full of just junkie didn't fit my house and then it became more of an interview show with a third act. That was usually some sort of fake guest act, comedy peace and then, as
evolved into an interview, show and things built up around it, at we saw the whole the whole business kind of evolve and and and grow around us, you know we were at the ground level with a lot of different fights that we had to fight the patent. Troll fights you know, figuring out how to get advertising in and watching that business grow. Alongside the network growing, alongside and in every one kind of rose at the same time, those of us who aid in it and we saw it literally become a business I mean at the beginning. We had two advertisers. We had maybe three. we had Adam and eve, which is basically sex toys we had audible, which was you know, audible, and then we had just coffee which was something we carried over from a streaming video show. We did break room I've back in the day when people can you stream it. It was streaming video before anyone was really able to stream. I
We did an internet podcast type, a show before anybody was able to do it. This is not a test I did for microsoft on Broadway videos dime geez? I remember what europe was. I think it was was alive sort of oh show with visual components. That would happen simultaneously. This for any kind of video technology, and it turned out and we put a lot of work into it. A lot of big s were part of it. I mean I interviewed on that count in it was because of the broadway video pole lot of gas segments. and I dont think anybody was able to listen to that that wasn't indy microsoft building or on the microsoft campus, but moving from where it became where it came from which was I remember when we first started doing this in order to make it a job. We offered team, of membership. You like donations like and npr kind of thing in you'd get swag. If you a certain amount of money a month. We donation thing that would kind of recur in.
Just remember my entire house being filled with envelopes. Somewhat t shirt somewhat stickers somewhat postcards are just sorting that stuff out with just these these excel spreadsheets of all the subscribers and and oh my god run. the idea it was there was quite a time, and here we are as a podcast in and as a world still go actually stronger than ever. Thirteen years later. So I guess I I can say happy birthday. Wtf, can I say, happy birthday wtf Sure I can and whitney cummings is on the show today, and she was actually on back into that in ten. besides one o six, this was we time agree. We had a full hour, long conversation, although we see each other like all the time she was on. My eye of sea shall marin and we work at the comedy store lacked and we text each. occasionally got a new special out on netflix called the whitney coming
jokes, but she was one of them. Regional light within the first with the second, the second hundred guests, thousand and ten is not crazy, a widow other business you're back in two thousand and eighteen we had a comic name then mckinney on the show. You go back and listen to that episode now that it's out from behind the pay wall so ten, forty one and you can story about joining the police force and giving it up for comedy he's got a new special. That's out today, it's called just in mckinney on the bright side. And you can watch it on youtube if you haven't heard this episode given to listen and then go check out his special I've got no outta reaction, and I want to talk about how my classification of boomers- I'm willing to admit over realisation- because I realized something other day that when I try bye, baby boomers in me being one of the last ones at the gate, and I judge
and their selfishness or their ego, were, I say things at univee this. This so much of the cultural chaos we're going through is at the hands of a yet the dying. of boomer egos. I'm usually talking about young men, every year in I'm, usually talking about them in the arts or in the e o political game. I do make innovation, but I realized it was kind of broad and unwilling to make that exception, because I feel like it. It was too broad because when I really think about people who are still active politically and and in some ways doing the right thing. Of level and in an activism level, and also in not profits and in helping people. A lot of times. It is still that generation of original activists people who were involved in the first wave of pushing back the sixty. Sadly, they are a lot of the people that are still kind of
you're doing the work of of trying to fight the good fight. I mean out of his pay lip service to it. A lot of us may tweet a few things in and speak up here. their by think. A lot of the boots on the ground are still some pretty old boots. generation of the original activist said I die oh eyes for being in if it did seem that way. in my generalization of the generation. I think that was, I think I was. Somebody brought that to my attention. I think its correct. Think that usually what I'm talking about it seems are a handful Do is that that seem to have a lot of a sort of cultural capital that in our clearly acting from aggravated ego dimming sir, I do a just sort of like people want to day. Everyone wants to go down shooting in this country, and these guys were seventy eighty
his old at work. Everyone should be able to her to have a good time, but there I just sometimes get the sense it they're, bringing the whole fuckin world down with him in this He is it's a broader conversation and I simplified it by hanging it on a generation without giving credit to the fights it were fought, by that generation by people who fight the fight as opposed to people that are completely self involved. Give zero fox, are myopic and only care about themselves and what they have to say, and also ino making exceptions for the worst of things truly and politically ok. How's that is at issue is that of mea culpa. What'd. I just do I don't even know what I just did. I feel like it made sense. So did it makes sense If you don't have a home security system, ask yourself! Why is it because there too expensive- or maybe you think it's going to be a big hassle- the set up or or is it just too complicated? Here's the thing,
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becoming, is obvious what you mean a we go way back. We had for the. I think we might have talked about it on the original episode a decade ago or whenever that was two thousand and what I say ten sold more than that twelve years ago. Years ago. I think after the demise of my at marriage. I kind of I had a crush on whitney and we were on the road together. Working and yeah I mean I, I tried to a to see if it was reciprocated. It was not, but since then we've been well, I wouldn't say we're. You know it's a weird thing about comedian sat. There are certain comics that I came up with it in the same way that it is similar to the Jews. Let me explain. There is some sort of bond we all have indians are theres many of us, but there are certain core people that we were guess. If you spend
cater more working around people, you don't have to spend some a lot of time with them or or necessary. see yourself as having a you know, a friendship. In the standard way, but just the fact that we have we together and you respect people's work that there there is definitely a bond in the community and I've always loved whitney and have always been. Pressed with her work ethic and her energy and her humor I gotta be with a legally she's raw and does in just fuckin all in, and it is it's kind of To watch- and I was happy to talk to her- Her new special whitney, cummings jokes now streaming on networks, yeah so so this is me, How the whitney cummings.
Yeah, I don't know, I mean I can't I don't know you know, we don't have kids and it's better. together. We certainly don't know I don't have any anywhere. You don't have you. You can't hide a kid. You don't have one, but we feel doubt about ahead You know I of alarm or something I don't have a low profile. Close proximity to a lot: what's the plural of lama to lamas very warmly, I do want to say really quick, just close proximity to arms. What's that you're in close proximity to allow me I am I do. I have rescue forces in theirs lamas at my ranch, where the horses are. You have a ranch. It's not my ranch, it's where my horses are them in rescue horses. You go out into the wild yet and fine wild horses not wild wars? There get away? Who shows don't need to know said old horses abuse
His horses abuse show horses race, horses, dressage, show horses horses that are abuse, find them new homes. Ah yes I'll the rehabilitate them and find them new homes or put them in an equine therapy program and they'll be used for kids and survivors seems like a tough sell. Like I mean you might you can barely barely getting a good dog? the dogs. Had a shelter near you're. Do need upwards, wars. This is our could provide yours produce it. They can actually use act in time there where there were various. I do want to disclose. I'm so how'd your desire in between closer singing like they are just as I like it. I like it. So I get on my back judges and I was somewhere and I just see it is taken care of myself. You self care, making sure that I am able to show up, for you would not serve, have cotton, dry mouth or by eighty kick energy hungry and distracted and look at you, you're, exhausted by me. I'm excited and some oh so yonder divergent neuro divergent and has widened
Well, this is and you're not artistic, isn't autism thing like many beverages and, like oh shit, yeah, yeah, skynet kinds are always a big thing. Big thing, no been it's good to travel with things to put in your mouth through I mean I mean that's what it is not known. Neuro divergent you just want options, and you want to be able to have these things. I just think it sometimes hard to stay like concentrated in pod tests. I like to just make sure I'm not as long as the last time I talked to you on this show was maybe two thousand and maybe eleven years ago eleven years ago I was deeply so it was trauma yeah. You said you had to work so mad, yet some settle some sort of score. No! No! It was more. I think the first time I was on here it was before I had really, you know I had just
old. Some tv show right, and it was just such a by just member leaving you just feeling like, like, I feel like I had this associated. I feel like I really didn't know you that well in ireland and didn't deliver on any I have also you. You were hard on yourself about that way. You said something to me that just like somebody with me what is, in the back of my mind, all the time you'll, both love and hate, and how much real estate you take up. My brain, you said to me, like so new. Do like jokes. it took me to realise alike, are you? It was an insult to like half an hour late to the interview cause. I was like yeah. I do jokes and here's how I do them and then I was like oh wait,
and the name of my news. Special is jokes and that's my fault and that's how your your payback- and you know it's just my way of just going like you know what I do righteous. I do do jokes and maybe that's ok. This is what I do, and I've spent so much time having married in my head, but what's the altar, to that. I don't know why I dont I'd be I'd. I do my version of whatever the fuck a totally by I'd, just whatever both everywhere diminished to you some at not not even- and I don't think I box you and you just a little joke machine. I think we all her people's feelings by acts and all the time and we get our feelings when people are intending to it was just never looked back. once in your life that has such a giant impact on you in person that did it probably has no fucking clue we're almost there,
because I remember at first been grappling with that and being like, be more conversational, be one of those storytellers that takes viewers on a journey. Well and all that was in there yeah. I think you impact impacted properly and then later I like. I do do jokes, that I'm fucking, proud of that as people are just like comedians- are virtue, signaling and lecturing and giving ted talks, and I'm glad I just write jokes, and I think we all do jokes if you're a professional comedian. I think that whatever anybody says about storytelling or this and that that, ultimately, if you trying to get laughs and then you do it. There's there how you do jokes- and I am also just like I'm at the by such an apologetic to try hard planetward virtue, signally means totally it means like people that are
think it happen a lot during the pandemic when comedians we're, just like looking for ways to get attention and cloud or filled a void or whatever it was because they couldn't get onstage, and it was a lot of just like whether it was you know and I'm not the person away and on this I think a lot of people say like that black square for black lives matter was virtue signalling. Just the idea to me. I know I came to know what it is, but I don't know how, because I performed of activism, is that our variety reserve, but there is no other way to do it. Is there now had a million by one median started doing things? They would make fun of other people doing again some of them? I don't know you never know who anybody is applies until you whores adam generalised about like when you get on stage in your I can on prior gonna get cancel. Do you really think you're gonna get cancel I mean isn't like. Isn't that sort of this point kind of a hack line, The idea that, like a wild dung and take a risk care,
have you done thirty minutes of trans drugs, yet nobody top referring about neo, fascism and gay. I don't mean I'd or cancel a ball. I think I fervently not true that's you all right. You committed the crime. Why it just a or or somebody twists something a certain way. I understand the idea of it, but I mean it doesn't seem like you're. Trans jokes are on the wrong side of things, who's going to cancel. You know they're not at all, but I I take umbrage at that because I dont think you realize how much people want me to fail there. I don't think you are whether you know or don't know. I don't think you realize how many people, because you're a woman, I don't think I don't even think it's that, because I'm whitney I I The ink I bring up a lot of emotion in people and I think I trigger people deeply and I think,
polarizing and I think I based on what what's happened this. I just think that people have strong reactions to me. I mean people have strong actions, all female. I think it brings out alive your lover, Maria hated you now what's happened to make you aware of this. I think just some people come up to with, like You have you seen your tweets to me more those not just fine now, but I do think you leg. I get it. Get a pretty rough and I've never really talk about it. I know it doesn't affect me on a daily basis, but I have found there are certain things that if I say them up top, for me a little bit more. I see, and I think that I someone that people really wants to see a lot of people want to see, fell at I think that Peter do you have tried in all kinds of ways or go like you were friends with this person, or you knew about this thing or you owe it to just tons of things. Yeah nah, who are those people were, They come on or are they just people who
where are resentful or do you find they have a position aside or it start. I mean it's always been the case with me. I mean I remember, even when I become to the comedy started from the very beginning, but you know just I was just scared and anxious and trying to be a good comedian and in the beginning no one is is my guess. You know whether I was or not, and it's very confusing, because it's like you suck also you're so successful, which is it you know. I think that people, if I'm not good enough people not about if I'm too good people are mad about. If I'm success will be born out of our two of you, everyone, but in my tweets to you I know it sometimes or awoke bad guy, we're friends right and running the amount of. When I see
picture view hugging sent you know, and I and I tweet monster, that's not what I'm I'm totally vigorously just with you here. I got a lot higher fighters of some kind of mean ones, but we have a real wearing ever thing. But let me ask you this because you're seeing people, people, people yo the they think visiting that it, but I mean: aren't you making love that up in the same way that we get our feeling hurt, bye, bye, bye, projecting personalities on two things I mean. I know that people tweet it you and women comics definitely have it. it's worse, but I dont there's a room full of people at any. Given point time wanting you to fail. I think people like you and you know you doing good comedy. I agree. Thank you, buy I've dressing the one thing you sat up. Do you really think I wanna get cancer? What me, but when I happily at soldiers, different thing like him of assuming that people want you to fail. Ok, so I am just telling you why I do that sometimes the beginning ogier to you. Yes, your people. Will you uniquely here, because I mean
the following you at the comedy store going before you, so I don't say that on the road, I don't ever say that you're, like that's kind of a hack line. I have to say why I fucking do it and that's why it's and it's yeah it's. The only reason I say that it is out of love for you, because I think that you on some level these people that are sort of acknowledgement. I awoke and that's why I don't get work. Is that why? I don't think that's true, I don't buy that it's total bullshit, I I am totally on your side. None of that is real. That whole. We can't say anything anymore. That is not true kind of say stuff. You can say literally just can't, be and might be considered. Literally, if I say don't, cancel me, that's why my way of going this might not be a funny joke. That's why you should be canceling people, and it's like it's always coming from the people. That like
you never said trainee before. Why do you need to say so badly? Now what you know? I think it's more but comedians otto. I also think we should be raised by this is where professional fuckin babies- I mean comedians- complain about countries for forty years you're, not a man who used to an old neighborhood, very modern and sugar member. He is due to the lack of cookies. It all again, like aids lego, complain about any measure. Seinfeld do workable, a raisins for forty men like we did what we do in this week we get. wildly offended by the tiniest motto of judgment are already known as all I'm doing without any given certain sort of like am I can open my heart and sort of bee of warm entertainer around in an urgent to make these people pay. I love watching you right now. If you are in a fucking zone I mean I wish to thank our thanks that really I like theirs, I got what you want right when you take decisions like wow, she's she's,
she's all in this Oh no filter any more, but also so yeah, just in a different way, no shirt so yeah in our in our group lounge, and if I went up there and looked at a notebook and was like I'm half here, my own, how annoying, without here the only more noise than a comedian whose all lead in committing really hard, and we run our eyes like all here they are doing their job. just interesting- that there are people that really I mean I find that I get like especially the communist or because it's like a it's like a trauma factory for me from way back so but sometime get up there and it really fucked with my head. You know depending on the road, like sometimes the main room, your. How is this not a good room now,
is this audience like this? I don't even to that is such a mine fuck. You don't even know why we do it because it's like it sort of interesting. You know, but then you know, there's a neighbor, I feel insecure and to this day it may be because you're in and back going or should not me is done the guy in the back. Judging you know no image of a nightmare. It is to work on new stuff. No, like mark marin's, pacing behind you behind the curtain, you don't that's it blast. I think I heard not our guide. I shouldn't either started, I'm not the one I like you, I know, but you have to tell you I'm trying to make a point that you're making things up I understand your argument, but I'm here to cleared up for you, I'm not back their pace, Thinking about you just sort of like a fuck. Now I gotta- oh, I know you're not thinking about me, but I think that its fascinating that that still I'm on team whitney right now, I never really wasn't that guy
I believe that no, I believe that which is part of the reason I can would talk to failure, and you know DR three and a half hours Do we have regard and bring a term did bring three back. I don't know what I was going on, but no I'd I'd think that it's a testament to how much I love you an amateur. bacteria, and I want you to got I'm funny. I want you to be proud of me, but I know that it's if you don't want that also I am. I am it's taken me nine years to really I'm not writing jokes, just for you, it's really lever in marin wood. This yeah do jokes, although sometimes things happened to media any comedians in your head when something happens, or you think that a joke and like others, should be for, like data gold, gay I had a raccoon via a woman would have sam I've got a couple of yeah. I get asked god love me. I'm too I've women really talk to adapt in like
ten years and what has happened? I'm glad you agree with that. What is that, whereas I was we'd, have we haven't, had a conversation and like twelve years? I want to say: hey, hey how's it. I know it sometimes, when you spin off in the green room, you'll spin out a little bit to go you'll kind of and the thing in my person you see in the green room, like god, are you gonna be a spiral cause? I feel like everyone's complaint, as I keep myself you're the only person, but that complaint I played, I dunno what you're hearing what the fuck is wrong with your ears and your to say. You can't even identify talents, you use it sometimes you're lit up and if there's a topic at hand, you will talk in the green room. I've never know knew to be like. Why isn't whitney talking? That's never been anything. I've heard anybody say where you get it reputation of being the quiet. Lady, that's something! I know, I think a lot of people born You wouldn't know big,
the people have different around you. You don't know anyone's personality. I don't mark marin's around everyone's. What do you? What do you typically loud or just think we're an old man wandering around don't do this, and why do you think it's important at all in asheville we have to recognize your impact on people what I find something I don't recognize but yeah go ahead. You find what you have some. You know what you actually might not You actually might I dont google, my name but do not have a concept that more people are turned into few or sometimes sometimes, unlike what do they want respecting allotment beings. I agree dumb, they're, never going to get it, though. That's not true. What I said is someone trying to impress you I'm like a two thousand and four how's that happened, but I do, but I am much more.
But now I'm not I'm, not I'm not running around trying to intimidate people. Now I don't know I don't know, I don't even understand people get it like you too. I don't do that when you hear you understand me, you see me, you know me a long time. You know we ve been through things together, despite not knowing each other that well, but we've been around each other for a long time, and you know we were you know we were in la jolla together. Do you like maybe you I will we can play beat by be go through that if you'd like, but It's not illegal as you are, it was I. I was easily deterred, but let's say that years equals to like. I think that maybe you're resistant to being at the top of the food chain- I'm not at the top of the food chain and what's the food chain It is winning. Ok, I think winning is zalm generally when you, to bed at night, bigger, proud of your behaviour. That day, be your work. What's it for
your behavior outward, it will know, I mean them. My brain can do other things over the course of a day idea which is like I've noticed before as, like you know, when I get to the comedy store I've been through several days in my day and several different. You know have gone down in up. Are you always show up like that? Big guy from no country for old man, It's like the big you're about to just shoot people with a cattle prod, thats, interesting yeah, that guy sometimes they do feel like that. The audience is what's happening in my mind. But I dont always know like I do know. I don't take it in much. I see what what effect I have on my audience. Yeah bye, bye feed, I emails and stuff, but in terms of comedy I do understand that you know I've facility, something and was at the beginning as something that a lot of comics respect and I think my comedies pretty well respected, but I still compare
Suffice, but I still compare in despair and I don't even comic does by turning away what people have, but what do you mean you can't get better by com? during a feared the material from getting better. I just like I just like feed on and resentment, and I judge- and I you know, I wonder like why why? Why dont that many people want to see me and then a michael? Why would they will there's something so cool about people, knowing you so well that and yet I'm excited to get to this point and that- and I know talking about t v- is so boring and gross, but I used to always say, like you know the best the funniest jokes on any The calmer tv, like I love family ties. We have sure because it's like you knew the character so well. Some could just say something to Michael J Fox is characteristics beaten and everyone would laugh because they just knew him so well that I knew this was. Can we find our people know you so well, like the other night, when you wanted, I watch euphoria and I said, auto, bought your job. We're like I was extremely watching like a winner.
Finally, because we all know you so well, we know you're good person what you ve been through. If I had said I would have been that you know I think they're certain jokes for lack of a better You can only do at this stage of your career cost me that's owe you. So I think that's right, but that's what you work for right, told. I think you're just in this fucking surf in this way, that is so fun to watch yeah and I'm and I appreciate It- and I know I'm in that and I'm happy about it most nights, but that doesn't mean. I don't think that other comics are judging me. You think you have comics, you think are judging you. Whoever is judging you. Whoever wants you to fail. I literally like I think there are some big comics that the promises ike like I fuckin I'd. I don't respect them. there and I know that there is sort of like they think. What I do is something different than what they do and I'm I'm just a fuckin comic man. I mean I do funny shit but like when I see established people that debts have joke churning personalities and make billions of dollars. I might go fuck yourself worse,
sk in that, but I think it, my guess. Is they look at you and go he so fuckin respected? I want that really Did you listen to conversation that jerry seinfeld? I didn't That's ok, gore's up up up with that recent months during the day emma was ok have, but I just have always thought that liking of theirs is an established crew of com. both young and old, that operated this level where I'm I'm still this weird sort of like you know I'm still this guy fighting with himself in a club and these guys are sort of like doing you know, ever the how they're doing to make money, and I just don't think of that- I don't think of that shit. You seem way happier. I am here.
so we so ok here that kind of money. At a second line disease advise of inhabitants have money together, disease idiot lounging. You get lot leaving others just never have that much money, you would aid and we just close out had sure whatever the hell you said. If I have that kind of money, I still wouldn't go to the fuckin hamptons, it's fucked. I have plenty of money. Now I don't do anything with the like a big day for me when I get a new wooden spoon, so I don't know what to do with money, really don't know where you're going moved Canada, that's gonna, go voice. If I don't, like aids, moreover, retirement fantasy for one for when you know we really cannot say anything here. Do you feel like now that you're at this place, where flats I'm just saying now that you like sort
it on some level mastered. I dunno, if I'm allowed, to use that word in terms of like addictive impulses, the whack, a mole of like yeah, then it's you know. Maybe it's online shopping, maybe it's gambling. Maybe it's eating gambling. I don't have online shopping that much gambling addictions manifest. Other ways like you know. Sometimes it's you know Well, the sex addiction stuff I got away with this. Can I get away with this? Shoplifting is kind of a it's the same part of the brain as I get it, you have it. I don't have the porn thing. You know adrenalin one for you, because that's a big one for me. I don't know like how to exercise the right now in the eating. Thing is always have hardly managing it, and I think I am. I dont have and that much of a compulsive sexting. I think I you know I've always throughout my wife, from being a young jewish boy. Worrying will know. There's just like you know. Masturbating is like a meal. You know it's just something you do like every day. If you can get knocked out, ok
but meals were doing more than one a day. Right is that now in the meals, you know how you feel like one a day like? No, no, that's not it. Now I eat okay, everything's, okay, my my my addictions are. Are I find myself a little score me in my body, though lately now I can't I think at this age, but what I mean, but I'm I. Why do we get here like what you guys? I was just curious. I think that like for me, I find myself when I dont have predictable. chaos. I will sort of fashion some for myself just to get that head of adrenalin own journal in orange into dope. It means I find myself if I'm like, really you actually in a pretty yes, five million emotionally kind of sober place. I'm feeling mice bore driver, ailing, look it up, it's like if I need to be somewhere for, and it takes thirty minutes on that three four I I wake up anxious about like I make that stuff my head. Everything like I have to tell myself during the day would certainly dude. You can take your time leave nothing. They can do my. I gave an eighty nine billion,
I got those tools working really well, probably at some point in your life they're getting they're getting there everything's getting there, you know, and then, but do you have like? I do really well with routine. I've started scheduling things that really helps me that I'm not my main thing, I'm realizing his decision fatigue and the shame that comes with making the wrong decision at the buzzer. So I wake up and I'm like oh wear these jeans and the shirt, and then I leave don't think that is fucking wrong genes, these genes. Why am I wearing these jeans? These are the dumb jeans, the camel toe jeans I can't really and then had I just so, and then we'll be myself, and I do so. I started this is so insane, but on no account gets on Saint Amira pathologies. It works for me. It's on sundays. I'll, take two hours, make all my decisions for the week that I can make on Zan term. You leo trophy eyes, writing them. On a fuckin thing. I have a vintage bar from at sea with two bears on either side. It has everything for the need just so I'm minimizing the cause for me to make a decision is to it takes a lot of bandwidth. It takes up a lot of like energy dollars. I get there
the ideal, with something somewhere like. Do you use a lot of energy, making small decisions? It's just just sort. I trained myself to do think like did that part of my brain that so I you know just, do it wins? More now work with exercise and everything else, if I wake up like, I don't want to fucking like all of a sudden, I'm due I'm dressed and I'm going. Oh so, like the pardon me, makes decisions is winning more now and in terms of pants and stuff. I don't know I cannot commit to you know a couple of pairs of pants. An issue or two so you are assured to know he were talking. I dunno here. I think it was cape or lant that you were talking to about performance artists. Sometimes you know, do you have I'm sure you don't listen to a ton of other podcasts trying to think of something? What's that person's game and I'll be like yelling at our marina brahma
tina brown, the vecchia is someone that didn't come up that I am obsessed with, and I dunno, if you consider performance, arts or not, who cares? But she has this manifesto. It's like an artist's manifesto. It's probably a little too rigid, be a little bit self indulgent, like every artist, should have like three white shirts, three pairs of white pants or an I it is for like a year and wonder what did you get out of that? Why you listening to her age, a lady that set in the museum looking people, I liked it ass fine, I like it. I like that, I'm sorry but like. Why do we compare earth like this? Is that thought the art we're doing what? Anyway it's like? You know, einstein had to suits like me, who gives a fuck I like, but I have the like what people do four things to me. I think, for the longest time think what the fuck is that its? Oh, you do that The world needs contrast. So it's like. Oh you, You get to be like what, if everyone was doing what you do, that would be worse, yeah, I don't. I don't think you're by each I've tried to design that. So I did that doesn't happen. I try to talk about
specifically personal things, so no one can hack me, but you do something so specific like like I, when I came up with that angel factories joke, I had a text for people to make sure they hadn't heard it said. Pat. AL I tell I dunno if I got to yeah, maybe I did, but in and doug I don't think it's a tell would do that one. I tell usually texts me with things like that, but I haven't heard from him in awhile yeah I yeah sometimes I'll check in with people but yeah I mean, I think also the longer we've been around the more we're like have. I heard this or did I just think of this, and I think some things are just huge. It's just it's just public domain man. You know once you start getting into public domain shit, how there's ten thousand fucking comics I mean it's who gets. The web wherever first do you ever feel like you're, just you, go to the store. Just go entered my don't stuff. So people know you're doing that premise. Yeah. I am I right,
I do but then, like you, but it's only a matter of time before someone else does it and then you have to do the whole sort of like no nosy. They just also like doing it and I'm like I'm do so. People like okay, maybe I'll you know I gotta change my or like we know, she's been working out where I'm always trying to play defense people trying to just be shitty with me, so I'm just like I'm going to just go. Do it so people being shitty with you again? I love they have no evidence. I love this take. It is actually so like that you're letting you just think I'm like beloved is. I I think your beloved, I know you're challenging copyright. Sure I mean I'm. I and I know this guy plenty to do through like fucker this or that. That's fine, but I don't think the general audience yo comics I'm a clever girl in the old trauma, something I still get that I mean I still get it to like. You know what a window, when you like Sebastian goes on there and does his bit. You know the the the the the whatever he he's funny, but
but I'm like I. I know it's not so much they're not going to like me it's sort of like I am not, and I'm not what you mean what they're planning on, but I'm gonna go out there and now, what's so fun about it, though, be sure cause if you're sure, obviously like our fans, are like amazing and when you know just not on the delusion that someone's my fan and no one else, I'm like I still have to you- know bring it when you know people come to you but I like doing stand up for people that warrant there to see me cause. I of course it's a real job yeah. I kind of like where my kit sebastian, just martyred. Our marriage is murder. You like here, we go. This is not what they sign up for, but we can all I can get on most of the time we can follow each other. I think you I'm not hard to follow, really but suppressed it can be yeah yeah, I mean he's kind of the only one. I think right now why you I feel like when, shall we d, as was at the store that was, I would like stretch before I went on? Joey- is always like Jesus Christ ran like people gather
just leave, but I think that you, I just tell me the whole tone of the stores changed since then. Yeah definitely just dominate. habit of like I kill and if my honor, if you guys don't get up mind as it's like going, we're gonna get them but like if, when I'm my jokes right now it's always with these sort of like I'll. Just do this. that I know everyone can relate to my dad's dementia, like it's not, I am not going to go out there and sort of talk about anything cute like I don't have that go to like this always worrying bit. You just have a buoyancy about you right now. That's really interesting too, is that about I dunno. Maybe we like had a brush with death over the pandemic, and then we had a brush with death. I watched someone die but didn't have a personal brush with death. Didn't have a brush, I mean with just like in the beginning of the pandemic. I think we were when we were like wiping down our groceries, and it was just like you know. Well, let's go back again so you know you have all success and everything, but, like I just remember dirt, there were times
where it might have been during the pandemic right before or people like. Is she ok? I was never like fucker. I hope she fails just like what's going on with whitney. I'm, like I don't know, tell me about every now and then hair blue and everyone like lost their mind that you dyed your hair, blue you're sitting on hoses. You were in mud, it was ha. I mean what did you fuckin penguins get out a lot of people blue their brains out to I'm the fuckin sick. While I re reserves gloom, I didn't one. Zero comedy show me that I would like I didn't do want our door. What people they were doing zoom comedy shows what was wrong with whitney. What the fuck is wrong with me, I I did my hair a bunch of different colors, because all my friends were losing their jobs as hair artists, and I was like yeah. Why not have fucking blue purple pink hair? Why the fuck? Now I get it, but I think that on and then and then I got covered really bad and I probably should not have been on social media when I was on covert and edibles and stuff, so that probably had something to do with it and then also it was also just like the pandemic and I'm sure, when else are we going to able to be this? This is
the only opportunity I'm going to have to ever have a childhood and I went for it. Oh okay and I'm it was, pressing to watch how upset people got about it. I was like this because, I'm just in my thirties and child, listen I'm not specifically! When I bought an item, I didn't you upset lived there, I began my with sort of white concern it betty, but I always think instead, I'm I was smiling for the first time we all know is the concern was, as I know, whenever this happens, it's happened before our business in tat year. You reaches our nature, is sort of like. Is this a man kept this out issue, you know what I mean like to eat that way, but you're. I can understand what you're saying and I wasn't judging by the dickens it was concerned, though it's interesting now. I think it's interesting, because I think I I I got a I that, and I don't know you know it was interesting- a lot of people that word georgie about I was you have always been fucking me intimate like you, ve, always ready to me
I'd be having amerika so because everyone in this fucking business has been so shitty to me. It be weird if I didn't have what you, whose and its then pronounced by the fact that now just cause my hair is blue. You ve decided, I like em on mass, like ages was like It was adderall. I took out of order at my book. Oh yeah how's that I mean. What's it look as though this was years ago you, my book, came out on the day the biggest shooting, good, good timing gap. I will come out and say month, is nine. Eleven sets great risk. I didn't made the thirty thousand dollars the fact that they paid me up to wait. Did you were you scheduled to do press and then you couldn't because of nine eleven? I don't remember. How did we push all the book was the publisher's office in one of the building? No, no! No, but it was just around that time. I think, and it was a it was a jerusalem syndrome and it just the books are terrible, terrible. Really, I just don't you be. makes everything you have you, no usually at the weather, whereat you'll get a good offer and you'll take. but I knew going into the last book I do like whenever making them, I bet
then there are making their money. I think the best thing was transcribing your interviews, bowser good, I'm your network that given that she had been bad, wonderful, better light. That summit, then sitting down in writing something you're, not so over thinking adderall during the book. Writing get up ages ago, I've been prescribed outer all four to sleep of war. Here. I have a little bit of mania. You know I have like such, but eighty mania zones May I without the bottom, but here's what so it no no depression. It I'll send a second, but it annoys me: one bull insult, you we're out even an understanding of what they're saying like oh she's, so manic. She must be an era when you have it. Admiral actually cause you to hear it. Does it make you man, I grow, so it's
I don't even know the science behind your insult, which also really fucking to do, but I don't know I think people were genuinely concerned. Everyone in l a is an adder. These are people that are microdosing lsd for time. I know I don't I I'm not one of those people, but I I feel like I have rose colored glasses and I'm not I'm not on the pulse like you're, not talking to the monsters, I'm talking to you that you are also well hidden, at a time where it's the first time I've decided I'm just gonna start sending for myself. I like take so much. Shit, and I am happy to I'd like really don't care from just general org you just like him up real social media platforms. Vague where's the shit coming from, I still we haven't really isolated that, but I am hearing a lot about the shit you're taking. I do not like I sit on who twitter does it on because I don't think gus letting me yeah, there's a pretty. Why I think that since I've
quickly thing a little bad people are like. Oh she's had she's been humbled like we don't worry. You see the sun, social media or or working I can promise you like love telling me they do that your face, like hey they're, just jealous like don't worry about me, I'm feeling, how can I tell me every communion successful, either comedians hate them. It's not. It's like this is just in your leg. Wyant, like people, love telling me that too it'll, be like hey. I just want you to know like I defend you, yeah, I'm like cool like, so I have no idea I make in this weird paranoia. You probably have no clue. I get but now you standing up yourself not setting up right, pushing back like sure, you know what you can do, the rose and self and I think nothing's funnier than calling like a skinny man, a girl like a crack at like when I was your first to do it now, but I think that it gets tricky within the pod gas format. When you're like a weight, I could make a joke to defuse: a I'm a drug or I have to like actually like not be a punch
I can make respond thoughtfully. I will you have been also, if he's not coming out. You like a roast and just sort of like this weird canal, condescending concern people thinking. I have evil in my family that our legitimately on drugs in a way that is like a daily, is person still alive. So it's like when people are alive, oh sushi on drugs, I'm like if you only knew how much I'm not on drugs, given what I come from. What can I ask questions you wouldn't have to, even if you don't want to but like, I think your sister dm me once or twice Yes, I'm sure she did. I'm really sorry about that. I would have done well known and all, but it's like I'm so sorry yeah, that's the nightmare, I'm sorry that happened. I heard I know it's ok. I know I just it's like sugar, someone's using the queen I yeah. So I do have. I think people are less hard on me now, because people have started like learning about barrier situation- beer, sir,
no, I'm so sorry. I everything no know it's it's just like it's so fucking embarrassing. I just don't like it's like I'm glad you brought it up, but I think that, like I'm almost stem and a place right talking about how many people have been to me, and I and I know I'm putting people in a situation where they have to go like no they're, not be like that. I'm I'm really not trying to get look. I know because, like we used to have a common board on the old website and the time a woman comedian would come on my show it was like relentless core and again I couldn't even I couldn't even understand, of course, and by the way of that, just there all the time hundred percent right, I'm actually have no umbrage. Where I have no, I mean I'm sure people do guys you after we're gonna, be ok. I know it's bad. I somehow get ipad dogs have had I've been I've refugees will? Surely my house right, you know so, but I think that to me the reason I like talking about? You know being pulled
rising serbia, not being everyone's cup of tea or people who the fuck would merely dollar article k with that guy. I know how I operating when I'm done If someone, I know exactly why we are holding a mere up to me. I'm jealous of that person, this post something I don't have or this is doing it the fucking easy way, and I did the fucking hard way and fuck this person like I and I didn't have to do it the hard way I chose to do it. That way, like I am clear most part when I am actively by someone all this person is like all that my mom was like up here. That's why, Agnostically among those were so am I also like roll my eyes at try hard. So I'm a try hard, but I'm embarrassed about it. So I'm gonna go look at this book and try hard milan he's wearing a suit. Okay, yeah! If I was doing arenas, I would totally wear a fucking gorgeous suit. You know like I want where you have got
ana, but I think that I like talking about it, because what I realized that is so like. I almost have sympathy for the people that need to hate me to feel good about themselves, because I think the funny thing is like I just kind of started finding out about a bit. Legged didn't even hurt me because I'm you know like a lot of us, like I'm so inherently heartbroken like as a person, the mere nothing hurts. It's really hard to hurt me and made me. That's why I'm uh? That's. I think over time around. Like oh give it to me. I can take you know it's a lot by its don't give it to you know. I gave it to me it s start I'll, give it to end it like I can take. You know. I think I tend to kind of girl like
TIM de lands and broken only I'm like just make fun of me. Like irony, the punchline. I love it like I do the rose say I'm used to this figure, I'm weirdly bulletproof, because I've such an inherently like broken heart. But yes, so that's why I don't take it took an oath, but without self awareness them in terms of why you resent people and where you're on your life. For me, what about that broken heart, so woody, you don't like. Are you able to vulnerability. That's that's positive its heart, because- and maybe you relate to this because I went through rum losing some- a couple years ago as well, not the same situation here. I can't imagine but there's something while that happens when, like the damocles sword, has far well in the shoe, has dropped where leg nowhere, has any leverage with the shoe. True I got here and having to leave you like. Are you can only right, you're, not gonna, get the job. Why not gonna get the job like leg at european level. There is
think we're of amazing about it in free, because I see so many people ways liberating liberating about the heartbreak your wife is in reality, people were the worst is yet to come for them, and I mean young your dad hasn't, died. Oh shit, I feel as for you, like, I have already had to live with that and I you know, get to move through the world like in a way because there's something about that kind of grief and that kind of pain, that's weirdly like liberating, not that I would wish on it, but I think that's true though, and I think it's something that everyone's got coming, my both my parents are still alive. Actually, oddly, isn't it weird nuts? It's not it's not going great, but they're, not there are they close by no, my doesn't albuquerque motion for. Do you see the mother, I go to sleep. The I've am shown up for him, somehow yeah, even those fucked up and weird with us, but yeah, I'm fine I do something that really help me why I was just asking my primary caretakers like question, because it like that
or occurred to me because you're, the you know and like the forgiveness is like I think you said like how do you? What makes you happier you said somebody the fact that when I can forgive people, that's like my new, ugh bag. I get high when you can really do when you can really like. I forgive others not because they deserve forget. Nor can you do it in your heart. I can Do I did lyric work. I did and eight month attachment strategy course with guy george Haas. He used to be at that place against the stream, which I think clothes this place in l a, but you and I I've always struggled with meditating. I know most people don't have time. I get fucking bored, okay, so the name of the the the his name is george. age a ass uglier than he does. He helped you figure you're like attachment strategy, which I am sure you know your hours, nothing. What does it mean so there's a couple attachment strategies fearful avoided preoccupied michael of addiction. Yes, but ever
and secure attachment. Is why unreservedly in your withholding our europe, the other one? Yes, so it's like, if you're preoccupied, I might be fearful of if you're, fearful and waited, I might be dismissive. You know, so everyone's got a different sort of strategy that has worked for a different way of loving yakking or what cope conflict, no conflict type of like if there's conflict and then the love language mine, is just actions acts of service, which has very few people's words, mean litter Nothing to me so, but also like what really becomes a tricky thing about. It is like what, when are you experience, saying you know, vulnerability and love that genuine and that you can trust because all this other dancing around it- I mean they're, all that stuff. After a certain point, it seems like you, ve kind of landed on. That is just these paths that we engage in to avoid it I've. Never! I feel lucky for this. I have never viewed partnering,
as something that would be forever. I've never sure I've literally never yeah. I guess I saw something divorces as a cat like I aren't you, I feel that I would like yours. That's all I'm sure you ve never been like thought. A relation is a failure, you have never looked at it. That way, I don't hiding and it would be such a bigger failure. If it's wrong you I've never thought about forever into I want to get out. I mean do you like this is going on forever, like, like, You know to me I'm like if this goes for a year were, were winner a scene of this most for two years. I don't. I don't have that you know, but I do like lately. I just judged on like. Is this easy? You know k. I mean this is It's satisfying yoke is like there's some part of me that maybe I'm the goal there is some part me that, unlike I might never get to whatever it is that people are true,
and to get or you might have it already, but maybe but I I do know what I'm capable of being open and holding it open. The I have you know whatever my broken heart will enable, but sometimes it's just a little bit at a time or whatever, but I'm not one of those people It's going be like selfless moving through the world is not day I'm so sorry I started crying and your broadcast why? I'm not If your bad, don't you feel bad, I think that's all this. What do you I have a heart and emotion like seeing a woman cry from what I understand very stressful for men or very erotic or hot. I dunno. I don't want to get an erection, okay, I'll fight. It you know what else it is. I think I'm just like. I think that I,
like to just arrange my life around doing things that need to be done so that I'm not thinking about what I should be doing grew so my link for me, the idea of like am I in the right thing in my not. I is one of the programme tools I use and I'm fine talking about being an island on any adult showing our colleagues which is like I schedule. My worrying if I'm in a relationship and I'm like gosh damien instead of questioning it every single day, which is my default, is as good as as bad. We just got married. He just say that wait, what really yeah. Your draft, ok, we'll have to rethink everything. You were to do that. Really you spinning around that much all day long, but we have to recognise the out of court vacillating vacillating all day and my safer. My safe is this is that in my soul, mars vexed with concept, but I am also able to I d go and milligrams prozac, which was a total miracle for me personally Billy's for now because of the abuja? The second reading at the put the unnecessary per separating that benefited, no one which to answer your question about the debate thing. I never I dont believe
have depression. I have many. the jaws of many things, but apparently one of the symptoms. depression, but gary gorman help me understand. We are also going on a loop. So having a conversation with marc marron, getting my car and go why the fuck. Did you say that? Why did you fucking do that now he thinks you're, an idiot okay. So next time you see him. You should say this. What, if you send him flowers on your birthday, just trying to reassure all your perception of me in the after the after birth? You now and it's part of depression that one of them, yet that kind of like cause, it's keeping you insulated and isolated, and from you I don't know depression. It seems like it's of giant thing right. What What did you learn from the attachment strategy? Gay couple things you would a month at a time for if everyone in your family, in your meditations, instead of just being like I'm gonna, think about nothing. You really like. I forgive you you forgive me Forget Mozilla, crying involved in this
No me on your part, catastrophic. provided a while. I was good that was crazy. It's a lot. So let's say you have an ant ruth who you know, maybe witness your abuse and did not like. There is little that many where we don't. You realize you're old at that wasn't even the abuser, but they witnessed it. Didn't do anything about you and sometimes even matter at those people, but we can't really articulated and so like. Uncovering those resentments can sometimes were like the abuse. Are the poorest. Was dysfunctional, we found compassion for, like oh, they had addiction. There were alcoholic will hurt. People like you know they didn't have the tools they got it honestly, but then the person that witnessed it. What the fuck was their deal, they didn't fucking do anything that is probably an unrecovered AL anon to write, so it's like so forgive even those people that you didn't even realise how drunk with rage you know in toxify by angry, you were with them or couldn't have any kind of like
nation ship with them, because there was that sort of when and why the fuck did. You do anything like where were you man down, even though they were in their own adult child responses, and then you free of yourself, that's it, big thing. I did all this dorky yeah like when I did my immense step in a ca and the first person I to write events to as myself is a is like you. and that our holds yeah, the beating heart of myself, the self depriving I mean a big thing with eleanor is like you know, we don't floss, but we're helping other people move labour we'd all take care of ourselves and like very basic way. So when I got an alan on, it was like a complete re parenting process like going to the d,
asked border the doktor like very. Why, because you at you, you get yourself get drained. You give your soon while I'm like helping rye move, it is separated or not you now, unlike were obsessing. We know the three am smothering microbe, my managing and martyring on other people get we're not philosophy on fuckin teeth you now, so I really had to like rape. that way so yeah that did that did help me to sort of apology to myself filling I'm sorry the way treated you because I treated you the way you were treated and I parenting. I took care myself the way I was and that's how I know you know it didn't even occur to me to like make my bed and, like you know, just to see I was like yeah. I did that stuff early in recovery, I was told I was taught to make my bed, so I could do that and I do that every day and I brush my teeth, no matter what and I exercise like all these, I was. I cried last night I watched her. I watched them days of wine and roses wow,
act lemon in my lap. I remember when I first went to Alan on my sponsor: tormented watch em like it's the best day, a movie and it's so fucking on the money and the like. and it was like is devastating, the others, this woman. I've been hanging out with she had never seen it and- and I dont know why was on criterion and, unlike that's, why and I'm just sort of like. Oh my god, it's just guided me, but a gun. At the same time that I get gutted when I listen to people stories in the programme? Yet when jack clubman shows up and says you have to have this way? of which will have to feel like that ever had right. I m so glad, though let my brain has been washed like that like I remember, being in the rooms and egg, some guys talkin about how a young first came in So I can use the elevator to sponsors like this bullshit man, these brainwashing and the sponsors of your brain needs. If we want to be cleaned up, but like you know, it's it's
we kind of moving that something in your life. However, you put it together as a kind of impact and its in its deeper than a decision. It's like in there and I do a lot of you- know things. You know too. in force that. But I think that, like all too, lee, I'm in energy conservation as first and you know I, the quaint therapy stuff, it's a guy a liberty training with the horses space like acquaint thereupon right, I've, no horses, so we It's not my ideas, you know just get on a horse and right do you write horses, the its if its consent, your wall? I grew up doing it the wrong way, like just eugene Oh yeah, worse than that its it belongs to you That's what you want and it's not disturb you only india and it doesn't have a specific person out. That's why they call horses there broke and they break their spirits now, so we unbridged courses to get their spirit back or your horse writer sure yeah
I mean no by no means so I will know how to write. Were yes, I do yes, that is correct, but I urge you not to unless it's conceptual with them, so you could actually do a lot more amazing things with horses. If you don't just jump on that, have you develop a consensual relationship with a horse? in the same way, you kind of wood with anyone, as you only do fifty percent of the work and make sure they like choose to be around do so? Horses are such an incredible way to learn about yourself your eyes. They don't give a shit. Will you do that to a fairly impractical therapy animal meal for travelling on play, there has been yours, I'm gonna blow I feel like, but but you know it we're? Ultimately, you know a prey, animal so and they're all about conserving energy. So the real reason, the horses, if you're like going admit, I dunno. If this horse likes me, I want to get a picture with it. What if this were small? Let me ride it once to get away from you, because you're just exhausting and it doesn't know when it's next meal is going to be because it's relying on grass so you're, just too it's in there, so clear
it's, so black and white usually don't go well. I need to talk to mark marron because he's famous and what, if he helps me, get a tv show, so I'm just gonna stay, or do you find that the horses want to see you fail? I and I thought you were going to be so on the same page, but I am so like. Stop it blowing away that not so much anymore. Maybe I need to catch up to this, like I just had this last special that came out was written bracing further like backlash in here like was none and others like all, maybe I'm out of the woods, but no not. I was getting about the horses, but I mean in this sense it like, as you say, that they are sensitive to exhausting Georgiana so you're saying part of your fifty percent is somehow get to them. Level where that is not the case, be someone that would be coming to be around to so they're only real down way.
Cajole them is with serenity, whereas dogs, you can use, treats cats, you can you streets right, but horses. They can get food without you up with grass or they don't need that the only reward is serenity with them or our peace. So where are you can't create some kind of like energetic peace within herself? They want to be near you so a lot of times the beginning when you start with someone like being terrified is, is not well they don't you, but they don't know your terrified of them. They just think you're terrified, so there oh there's a bobcat close by some now we're all stress, riper brute, like if you're free to horses are due to read. That is like a need issue now but you're, but also they don't know why you'd be afraid of them because they don't have the intent to hurt you right. So if you get too close to them, you're hurting yourself, which the whole other conversation cause. It's like to me that one of the most amazing metaphors for codependence and in which meant because we want to like snuggle a horse and then it steps on us and we're legged book? It's like notes
with relationships and like my you know, I know or not, on video about my therapist always says: relationship should be like this fire. This you now, if you, if you hold stand in the palm of your hand like this straight out, you can hold a forever. But if you hold it like this, you can lose it. So the ideal three or four so I had to literally I was so confused about the proximity that was you have the floor in this area I would get so close to summon dangerous you're gettin cages with tigers in her myself and then be like. Why did you hurt me why the fuck did you get an account of the tiger? Were you know that's what I'm not as that's what codependent relationships are you fucking hurt me? Will you knew? I was a tiger that you like me, you know it's that dancer and its value, their language and its also not real intimacy. Just now, it's ok
it's weird kind of like contrition and rage? And you know a forcing intimacy as shit overhearing trauma bonding, I mean it's. It's just recreating your childhood circumstances like horrible hendricks. One on one book is amazing. Getting the love you want, but you're just magnetically attracted to someone where you at with this shit. Now I am so fuckin, but member my arm, thereby sending me once can refer. Personnel have one fair best and I dont even go that I mean I know of no judgment only. I just didn't like how many of them with a girl- I fear, woman, a woman yeah over there- maybe fifteen year old, she's amazing, but me and alan honourable thing- is that I don't want you coming back era when you get back our leaders. Are you now? So I am a twelve step edge, I'm into free medicine, because it also free medicine, free medicine would not just our. while some programs are ok, I got it for when I first went into programme sudden. There are three things that me
I understand why needed to keep coming back, as I did not want to come keep coming back. I thought I was perfect and the nicest person alive. All I do is help people All I know my intentions. I just want you know, make everything perfect and took everywhere and help everyone all the time and I didn't ice the pathological thoughts. es, I didn't understand the whole people pleasing is a form of asshole laurie. I don't understand that if your motives are clean, your actually just manipulating somebody, earth and you're, so terrified of abandoned meant that you're gonna be useful to them in nice to them so that people think you're good person to speak good person that you are like what here. Let me to be a half illogical, give giving pathological sure sure help That's all that your area and dumb good news and bad news. Could I first want to alan on basically to beg our medical learn how to get my family members to stop drinking
would be so helpful. One was Adam has been thirteen year or ten years, or so I was like. Oh, this is going to be great yeah yeah yeah, exactly like I I have the whole. I am going to get all the instructions. I need to get them soap to help them out they're going to like love, and it's like this is going to go and and someone the guy that was sharing. He went. Okay, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the war has over the bad news is that you lost, and I like the guy. As soon as I got it, and then he said something where news like: I'm codependent, we have a pathological thoughtfulness were pathologically thoughtful and I was like that I'd. I understand what that means. You that's what I am all I do Think about how to make someone's life better and then, by the time I see them why the fuck, this is how you can act after I've spent the whole day. Thinking about you and how to make your life better and I've done with all stuff they didn't ask for, and it was just like. That's it, we break our own hearts. We
set ourselves. You choose. That's that's our comfort zone. We create rise circumstances where there is no other choice to be the victim, so it's like. If you're not gonna, hurt me I'm going to create it, so they just you are really. I I'm to recreate my childhood stances in this victim role, because that's really comfortable for me. I know how to do you know being treated Alan like that is suspicious to me, because also when you're raise by alan ons or any kind of Alan autism in your family kindnesses yes, it's exploitive you're, the one who started manipulate me. Why I'm trying to tell you why you haven't interesting will be here because it's like, oh you scream to me yesterday, now you're like all day centurion trying to make up for it or you, I ve been trying to figure that out to go because I my parents are really being capable of so was lover nurturing, but they did worry constantly, but it was more sort of like. I hope nothing happens too. him cause. I don't know how that would affect me. How could they
I mean like what have you got into, although like family constellation staff for the ancestral trauma stuff that really help a bit I mean like I, I get it. You know. the e it's in, I can feel There are not controlled by lie that stuff anymore, and yet things are I know where a man and woman the risk and when a not in a way, you know what I really appreciate about you. As at least your fears are. The things you worry about, our actually happening, like you're like we're running out of water. That's true like that is actually true, and I know you know all this by mr some of the other egg, some working on this dog food that takes less water to make, It's a lot like meat. As you know, one of the biggest reasons we're having this drought, almonds and almond milk and all the avocados, and that shit too, but I
Free cow is two hundred and sixty thousand gallons of water or something so it's like half cricket protein, whatever it was, and and- and so I was talking to the guy who's like works in the water commission californian. I was with a drought like how, where everyone is going to be like, are we going to have? Are we going to have like you? Can only shout three days a week like there's, going to start to be like laws rolling out that research is cutting your work and sell em, He goes. Oh, you know what and I would put a pin in that, and I would actually start worrying about the fact that half of the world's fertilizer is in russia and next year. If we don't get it to south america, America will be in gentlemen, family friend and relevant legitimately area, and now, A couple of years ago, I was very in deep about how we're running out of sand sand for sand cause of china. All these countries that are buildings that bill glass. You have to use and right and we're right, literally running out of san, because stand is made by rivers over thousands of years yeah. Oh, I got obsessed with India there's this like stand mafia and they send.
people to the bottom, the ocean to get sand and then they just zoom off the wild salmon is leave em so that the item you got into the sand pride to I get into these holes like video and because I like to at least you I can build self without going well leisure worry about something that's happening is that of like is does So so like me, the item: do I give really obsessed with dumb little shit like today. I was googling tat to hold buttons like I needed put in I may get like the wooden spoon things, a real thing like you'd like like I'll get like, walk into something like one of these will cause shirts and have had forever. and I didn't wear them for years, but now I'm sort of wearing them and one of them is missing a button and has a very specific button on holocaust polo. So I'm like well where the fuck do you get these in? My first thought was, I will want you to a cause. I e mail, the cost into. Where do I get to home button? on your polishers I've. Not her back
in the cost. So then I realize I may be just look up to hole buttons. So this morning I was up at two hole buttons, but it's like how big are these buttons and and I'd get downloaded online? A tape measure, because I'll have a fuckin ruler to measure the buttons. Then I got a ten millimeter to hold button by want it to be sunk in a little bit. So it looks like the buttons on the shirt like fuck button with a ruler and measured a button whenever I do that, you gotta get, but I love that about you. I think that this is also why you're such a billion comedian cause you approach a joke. The same way, you approach that fuckin button. You know I'm going conversation if you know I get eventually more will be resolved in and that's why? How most my jokes don't finnish themselves for a year or two because they need to come together. We hire is the last shook otto job. Yeah I mean are like the last year gotta seen at least we call a button right. That's funny that, true. You know, but, like my things are always evolving, but but that aside and outside of the famine but I really think I will worry about I've got.
I've been on my except that about myself, because it's better than you know, it's better than crying sometimes also, two thousand years ago, you have been the most valuable person in the drive, the guy, who are you who in button yet get there button, Google or over your good word, trouble you're. The guy wouldn t let shit sly you're, the guy that was like this is a tiger print in their like. Now that you are now a new, a tiger lives here, but I do therefore like maybe a couple hours and be like warm leave and they use go. I'm right right across the house would like to give it will cost. No, but just sort of like. If you guys are going to sit here and fucking not say it is going to take that's. Why fuckin. That's the only reason I applied for permanent residency was because I needed to take some sort of action. That would you that would make me feel better if we're gonna to just be outrunning climate, like I don't have, In the end it looks like my money will holds up until I die so like. If, if the thing is like you know, if I've earned a certain amount of peace of mind, why not go for
indeed didn't. If that means trying to outrun climate, then I mean that's just the way it's going to be so and fascism. So, in my mind, like I've been a lot better since I filed that, it may take two or three years due to process and I might not get in, but I know have taken inaction word that escape them is viable and it's based in reality. It's not a I'm, not making shit up. You know when when Sebastian gets up, there is like this water. Is anyone really worried about water? Do you actually shower like you're running out of water? My yes and we all should be you know a guy. I dont want whatever yea ice. I think that I see what you mean, It seems to me a long time to not internalize comedians jokes. If I did that, I would just to have jumped off a building by now. You know, like I always assume that whatever anyone's doing on stage some exaggerated layer of going because otherwise every time something to say about what the fuck, like you know,
well, there is a certain amount of denial and there is a certain amount of wrong mindedness that I can identify and I'm certainly no comedy cop and I and I enjoy people's acts yeah, but sometimes people are like right and I'm like no, not really does anyway yeah. So what is special, just come out. Just came out. Yes, sir. I paid for myself unlicensed at how that go for you. I think you It was a little bit nerve, racking by I'd seem like that was like okay. This is the next thing. You got all the boys to push the picture. world even everybody. I went on a bunch of bypassing yeah yeah. I don't know that yeah. Why me bout? It did, did it, how did it make it doing well as of now from what I know, but the first ninety days are big. That's what matters
as to the result of now get or you don't get a daily kind of like download count. Now, oh god I told them I like I don't want to. I don't tell me you're just get me like the inner top line, but apparently a thing that is good about which dishonesty. The best of luck I could get is people are not our people are finishing it and the first sitting and there you have to pay for a right over the netflix ya, which is our netflix. Oh, it's just on them are you? Are you made it and sold it to netflix? Yes, ok I it on my own because it was also the pandemic and it was like you know the and what was that deal with them? So they do not, Your deal, you said, while just make one and you put it on their ike, okay, okay, interesting yeah and I could have licences to other places too, but it was kind of You know at this time where it was like. Oh the insurance in order to shooter right now, but let's just wait until and I was like- I can't keep doing this material, and then I saw you know the last four specials
up on all these other platforms like how's it on paramount place like how is it on this we're like we're out? Why can't I even put these on my social categories. I can't might show marin four seasons of it. You can watch it anywhere, so you should feel lucky. back. I think you ought to know. Wait, I'm sure I have seal having what was the studio. So the idea as fox twenty one. Now I wonder I wonder if I could buy back either you could buy back or its someone's saving it to put under shaming platform. I know that a show that I did a mortar brother here is not unlike netflix or you know, because I was on which for a while? Oh that's, got em. Have we got some juice and he can still buy it, be kept by the internationally. It's a weird things very annoying and I in the current. amazon. That's very down, it was on networks for awhile begun, it was like Not all of it was on Netflix europe, a whatever it's a good question. I wonder if we can get it back. I just did I kind of one of those things where you're like oh this day,
Did you just want to be able to fight, can put a clear? Yes, you do in georgia should watch. You see me in colombia at the fuckin, whatever I just got onto tik tok, I don't know what to do with it. I do I've been thinking a lot about your tik tok presents. You just saw. I have nope just because you ve been talking about The only thing that I do a tick is it's like clips from specials. The way that we use indicate tv show, and I know that whatever we do have a service or does it? Yes, they caught him up, just like many. I can get that guy who people will be over you, and I are like that, just the noose indication and I d complain about it because member when we women are nationals for common censure would be for men and I get a net. If I get it, I am not get it like they can like you. Can you hired the people and they can take my like a history of fucking content, can take content, white guy for five special embarrassment of riches, the amount kind I mean, if you don't have enough content for three years right.
If you just hire someone to go, find the jokes and put them up there and by the way and then go. Oh, this is his bet about coyotes. That was just a coyote attack in arizona. So put them and then it's going to get in the algorithm like and then it just kind of turns into a little bit of a you know, attach a tetris game I mean car elin is literally treading on tiptoe. To now I can. Their stand like putting all quips up at because there I'm most people No, I am really that's just a reality. Like I'm not like people know me, but a likeable downright avail. The shrew but I mean did, but I'm still a thing that people could see undertake a guy who the fuck is this guy. That can happen there's a whole generation or two. I think that's a good thing that you got exactly by when they see doing stand up there, like with others, gives a fuck ingenious right. Why would someone who's fifteen eighteen? No us right now, jack. I'm not going to sit down and watch an hour they're going to. Let me just get a taste I get it. I get that so I reached out to somebody he hasn't called me back. He has an email me back who's, your company same people just nick
No, I don't think so. I don't know who is our girls? Go you don't even know who the crows only just started. So gentle like you, I just are doing it my whose you guys I gotta, know crawls guy, like what can you talk to nicole guide about me? I email the guy right, now, the guy that you get that told you. Oh he just got back to me. I mark awesome to hear from you in a nutshell: people folk. It gets me mad. Oh wait. They love me believe that no, I was just speaking to what you were saying. I just wrote the guy. Oh wait. I just didn't check my email. I wrote the guy yesterday I was writing. I was worried. I told him like about my g and about about you know. I just got italians verified and I said an idea, Tell me what you can do with the situation so then like, because I hear back from immediately I'm like maybe I was looking forward to a guy's, not running a business.
But I remember why I'm nervous about asking like that way. As one time a million years ago, carry hoffman guy used. san of new york and manage he was half. he's kind of imaginary jack almanac us at the beginning, and he used to own stand of new york. Now. I think it became a frank sinatra in person, but there was some weird thing during a period of time where I was unmanaged where he's like or maybe Becky was just starting me, but he approached me. So how would you like me to co? Manage you with a with a with the what's his name: rawlins, no, no, no, no rawlins! In jaffe the guide used to been represented, cabot woody allen and pick up jack rounds He was a producer and in an end the famous manager nickels and may like he was a guy but bed this point oh yeah, he's kind of wants to get back in the game, little babies like a hundred years old right and- and I said well I'd like to meet him in in and talk to him, and so he has rollins come out and see me this old man. He watched my stand up
in the guys like yeah, you know it's great, you just gotta, keep take it all the way out there. Don't don't stop push it am I okay, that's pretty good advice, and I still think about that because it's rollins jack rounder, so I'm supposed to have lunch with the two might so. I get their early in old, jack, rawlins air, the one hundred old man and I sat down without carry there, and I am in this is about management. I said the guy, I said, don't what will? What can you do for me, and then the other half and shows up in it awkward meeting and then afterwards he's like. I should have gotten there sooner. You can ask a guy like that, what he can do for you and I like what he's like yeah, it's not going ahead. two old? No, it was just like for some reason. I wasn't looking at a correctly like looking at it selfishly, like you know, how are you gonna help me? You do
either you. I don't know what the fuck it was about to me. It's just you saying like so: what's the plan exactly having you timbers exactly a year, but what else does this meeting at a right? I don't know he wanted to eat. I like I was already in my thirty. He thought he was just getting some kid who's gonna, like Britain, now that I shall I give him clearly in the right direction, refashion all promo with, but so when I say things like tell me what you can do for me, I get a little. I read it was funny. What can you do with this situation for our cato? You go right back to me, but it was a do it, but that's! Ok! You no way I wouldn't saturday I gotta be yesterday with fright and also I'm finding email. I check email once a day now jacket incessantly like I used to If I want to reach out to someone I go, hagen attacks do and then I'll even tax on my computer as if its email, but can I ask you a question- were really quick about tik tok that help me or say tell what me as to go. I'm not gonna, do lazy cheerleading in rio and saying I'm not gonna try to do what they do.
nothing? I whip sinking ernie that she and I do mean either I put a minute up of a kitten eating, but what do we? What are we got out? What am I guess, I'm a fucking know it all. Like I like, like little lifehack here, I'm like southern raised by southern aren't, so there, the biggest video. I think that I've done on their so far is just me going the easiest way to cut a cake is just with dental fuss. In that. It's like it just useful here. Why are you old? Our word just useful, ok, Why can be useful? You can just be neglect the best way to cook. This is an all well. It's spoken on oil. Here's! Why like? They could be that simple Are we going a little longer because you feel bad for me cause? I cried No, I'm destroy figure. Had it shut, you, this great gracefully That is a ball gag aid. It is weird what
we would like all. Isn't I buy gas labelling? You talk a lot of link the crooked. I'm kidding either nice. My research has I'd. I could also do. I think we have a nice arc. I feel like you, I feel, like you know how I feel finally maybe nap time for hired a mutiny right now. I think the best version is your ram, your bike as this one you're having a good time and when people are just like, we are bringing out information and we have scooter. Ok, I feel like I don't drive away from this thinking. Anything If there's anything you don't want in it, you tell me now you do what you do. I feel like I didn't finish a couple thoughts by that's, probably better. If you If yeah text me later, no I'll do it in the intro I heard from whitney, and she was very concerned that you have this dangling and we wanted to on the edge of years we needed to close this. How do you know where that meeting was in new Hampshire or commonwealth did not? What is it closed? The hatch on that one? What's going on
worrying about that moral? Actually, this is why I love them so because I think you and I both love it when people not hold accountable, but nothing gets past them like. Thing fucking gets pass you what I love that about you, because when you can't get away with everything the someone there's something you just don't have to you, could you put all your fuck, you relax, take your two and once it's established, you can fucking. Just like you know I I I had a neuroscience as all my podcast and he said close the hatch and I thought it was dumb when he said it in that I set it. Of course, you'd lugging call me out on it. I was like I agree that it was down for its future, to admit, of course, you forget it, it's a! U knew. There was something in that thing about bad. You couldn't function to. Let it go out. Is the mutton the moment for the world partner is you're. Fucking are right. Leg was closed to hatch on. You are
where was now God's work with iran when people here than thing I say about last month, a hydraulic chip is ever like thinks. You're a rude to them. Are into them or anyone else margaret not like if he said something insulting to your chances are. Was right, that is the problem with you, like. Maybe she said it that way, but he was right because love you of my view through ever now. You too that was exciting, witty comments, while always an exciting ride in terms of the with the conversation wouldn't come. Make jokes is now straining on netflix and I've got more actually to say about whitney if you just hang out for a second, so listen get a little something different with the bonus content on the full marin. This week when whitney came over, we talked for like two
I was in. There were a lot of tangents and digressions. Instead, that went all over the place. So day. Right. Alongside this episode, we release additional twenty five minutes of extra whitney if you're subscribe? to the full marin that bonus episode is sitting in your feed right now and if you haven't subscribe, click on the link in the episode description or go to w of pod dot com and click on w e, F plus next We have already producer the godfather. they're on Monday and sharing then at noon on thursday, He was pretty exciting, he's like a very much an older guy Andy it it's interesting to see him get a little worked up at times I knew you could see why he was such a an effective approach. Certain chairman at and I've been kind of meaning to talk too. For a long time- and she was finally off the road and able to her to come and it was a was get dessert. These are good conversation
I mean tucson arizona at the rio theatre on september. Sixteen phoenix arizona stand up, live on september, seventeenth well colorado at the boulder theatre answer. but twenty second forecasts, is colorado at the lincoln centre on september, twenty third in toronto, ontario at the queen elizabeth theatre on september, thirtieth in October first in london, england at the bloomsbury theatre, saturday and sunday october, twenty second and twenty third and I'll, be Dublin, ireland, at vicar street Wednesday october, twenty sixth. dates in november and december in Oklahoma, city, Dallas, san Antonio Houston, eugene org and bend oregon asheville north carolina in nashville tennessee and my hbo special taping account how a new york city is, on thursday december eighth, go to deputy, have pod dot com sway to her for all dates and ticket info and a reminder simply safe is the security system, we use entrust here on w e f with
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Transcript generated on 2022-09-03.