Jenny Slate is making it happen on her own terms, whether it's her standup, her children's character Marcel the Shell, or her movie projects like Obvious Child. Jenny and Marc talk about how a difficult year at SNL helped her take control of her creative endeavors and learn not to stifle her joy of living.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
All I let's do this. How are you what the factors, what about bodies, what the fucking nuts, what the fuck turkey and welcome this is Do you have a mark marin thanks for tuna and happier year, my guess, there's the lovely, the talented, what charming endearing in autumn, fucking god. I love her jenny slate. What do we say? Fuck so much to say fuck so much why wonder? Why do I say everything on so much of what I do it seems is stopped from have. A range of emotions, levelling em off fuck is a non. That's that's stifler! that's not all embracing word. It's not it's not a word that that brings people in its it's a fist. Word
and a couple of different ways. You know it's fun to say I punctuate with it frankly its the lazy. I know some people find it diskin darting and don't enjoy it. I'm starting to get to that point had enough. That's a sigh immaturity or what, but I might be, maybe that The next thing I need to give up is the word fuck. Maybe I gotta get off a fuck. What do you think? I don't know? I'm china, I work a lot. Do you know what's going on with me? Some of it? You know about a week or so off, of a of a nicky of nicotine She's like day nine, I'm off a car be too, but I'm drinking tea, which is a different type of bus, Sorry sneak up on you, you know, like empire, does all of a sudden. You know the year you're being run by something else. The tee my bit
idea was that if I got off the nicotine, I got off the coffee that my hands and feet my ears and everything they would all star ringing and stop ringing tingling and and and going numb in places, but that has not happened and I into a neurologist nine one got more blood test. I just got some more tests. and everything's normal, which is now great news. Im. Not. I want some horrible to be happening to me by like, like a treatable explanation, to why you know I my my hands and feet tingle and sometimes my ears pop. You don't wanna know that that it might just be: u bottling up a childhoods worth of garbage on top of distress. going through in the immediate present that you're justice walking. call during or pressure cooker or or yo or bell jar, full bad jelly yeah
for bad jelly and tears. Preserved a choice, it did just just. stagnated, and preserved within my heart, isabel jar, full of bad jelly Come on man can't we just have one, It could be losses in gabon dead? It's been nine days, it's been days. No, no Maybe should give him one. How many people were in here? How many people there is a lot of us is alive buzz, and one of them is seven and he sat while bring em up. Send him up, hey how's, it going kiddo so k. Is it not really? I don't. I don't feel good Sad give him a lozenge,
one last word: she's gonna give, although some give a kid some good taste games. Manischewitz cut is holding tears? Do you ever think about how much of your life is is just holding back to I mean I find this when I would have conversations or people in here they'll get emotional over very little things. I guess I do. I do get emotional, but I stifle it I put on. Break album the other day night in almost lost my shit, but that's not that's. A normal reaction to a nick drake record is just nor your lose your ship. I held it in I shit in what am I afraid of I'd taken away. Nicotine, I'm ready to just just. What love ribeiro me just I just shower the world with love that is what it is man that is what it is. It is. I feel like and a cry, and my heart is: can explode with love for everybody not what's happening. Jesus fuck have a lozenge.
Not doing it man, nine days in nine days in, like eight pounds, heavier says what gets me back. I we really good there's so much happening in the world of greater wardens, but nothing as is quite important as me being a couple pounds overweight that selfish, yes, it is, is it true kind? It is. Is that tragic, ana? Ok, here's what's goin on. I I got a pretty. I got clean bill of health, I'm off the nicotine, I'm off the coffee, I am not losing my shit too bad, my nerves, euro of free, my motions are very close to the surface right mandate in this person and there were getting blanket were not fighting, I'm not being emotionally abusive. I'm holding that in Here's the deal, I'm not really sure how to date, somebody that has their own life and and they and you know tremendously needy and
enjoy the time we're together, and then they go do their own life. It's it's a very peculiar thing. If somebody just go awry well, maybe will make some time tomorrow d to hang out mike woody maybe what you will Why aren't you living inside of me already? How can we are? completely imagining connected in a way that I can differentiate. My emotions from yours- and it just becomes- is this so idiotic disaster of of use of emotions because of needs, it can't be met. Why, in of drama in chaos, Why is it that it's not it's insane because hears it? Here's the pointing is I I've gotten. Point in relationships where I've become a bit cynical. The last two kind of kicked my ass in a big way, and now I'm back in em, I'm solid, jan, clear and I'm out of the woods
in this one person- and animal riddle? I'm I'm I'm a little protective, which is completely new. Spatter beat up it's better to be emotionally protective, then emotionally abusive and crazy. So now, without this nicotine god damn, I'm just do you want all these emotions, and might my nature is to stop them? If I can't make my emotions, anger. I dont know what the hell? The do them shut that dog up. I don't so I'm not even that angry that dog he's part of it we're all live in the world? So so this is new. Now, I'm just gonna try to let these These emotions, your kind of come through, way that I can handle slowly without letting without letting them be anger, you have maybe young and do some crying appropriate. Crying Let me give you some crying on stage for me and do
saw a favor have a goddamn lozenge, since no man I mean it I'm gonna, let my emotions happened. Naturally, yeah, that's, that's it idea, examine way in waiting a long time for that to happen. I've just been in here waiting. Yes, he won't you listen to the kid Fauntleroy ed what they eat is he had his time. It's not time now was a guy owes yelling. I don't know I'm trying to stop him. What do you do now kid cry: rakers, Gabriela, above the yellow, you were just take it easy kid. Would you shut up just go, get something else could jerk off for some. yeah, all right I'll. Do that? Ok, you're! I kid here here. What's jerk off be ok, I'm gonna, just I'm gonna relax, I'm gonna. Let me live, I'm gonna get. engaged in the world, and they stop talking about myself so much on how butter
people in this christmas season an open, my heart, to to the animals, I mean human animals and regular animals, I'm good. Before I yell, but am I making a list for it like It is not even new year's agony going The last guy got a balcony, less god, dammit get off the nicotine between thanksgiving, including the new the team I got on the scale yesterday I almost had to I I almost started running away from whatever happened on the scale of earth. That's a weird reaction EL the scale you just are running for your life. What is that? can't be my weight. I'm a fucking troubled man. I let's talk to jenny, sway
and you are surrounded by stuff like it yeah yeah, what part of town you live in I live in. Are you one of them? I guess: okay, fine! You have a house in las villas. I yeah, I rent a house yeah yeah and you have a husband that you live with dean, I'm a traditional person in a way yeah in my in my way, but I must have very lonely really by natures right now. No, I mean like it's really. This is what I would prefer to like being a little space and be able to just like talk or you know I like that, and I don't I don't like to be by myself. So I need to have a partner right to someone like you're, almost like furniture, either geyser and pets yeah. I don't care, if he's even like talking to me but yeah, just knowing is over there a check in yet. Are you still in that room exactly and we have like months of arguments because he wanted to get an office, and I was like
off site off as yet, and I was like personally really offended by really did you fight Why would you want to be away from me during the day doing your work when you can work in that room down the hall fact that, where I could walk in and like what are you working on issues like you, always walk in and you're just like stone and you walk in and like say, staff and you're like distracted visa, your stoned anyway. I know I don't like, while they rule of hundreds. Why can't I be a pet? So so you argue with that, Did you ever notice like it? This fruit is really good, yeah I'll, be like cut off a watermark, it's amazing novi like What does he do he's a director directing here? I should know
this better! I don't I for me his name is dean fletcher camp? That's good! That's three names! It's a heightened yeah! It's a hyper boys mentally mid, louis, so not even louis flasher camp that I think you should go that way to drop the louis. I would I don't think he dropped it. I just now it is about the camp. Quite ass. Well, yeah view is quite sure. Now, that's that's a fuckin director, yeah yeah, I feel like well. He yeah he made the hyphen himself. He did to use both parents names. Oh they didn't do that now, he's just sort of like honouring both mother and father. I am glad he feels that way about them. You, you think, a pretty cool person, so your names generously sharing on waiting you, I'm swaying, jenny never do that doesn't matter because I will introduce anyways but want to make it clear that I know who you are. Ok, what's argument yeah we're going to turn down the jewel little material that, after that I get,
tricky war for your parents. It, like, I bet you they're right, share our janni Sarah cause. You could be a sorry easy. You think I oh Jesus, I say something wrong, or over and yeah fuck yeah just kill myself. The last time. I'm going to hear that I'm going to assume a tremendous amount of familiarity with you, because I feel it. I know it's cool, that's like what happened. It is yes, it was easy for me to slip into familiarity. As you know, henry smith. I have the right, why do you? like I've, never gotten, drunk and taken off like clothing. When I shouldn't have, maybe I don't like to take physical risks, but, like I like one time was like on a serious amount of like em dia may and everybody was naked in the pool, and I was like I don't take off my clothes and I went in in my clothes.
That's where I fear vipers no can't be hypnotized like there I'm issue. I have been really procedure right for the really yet and it worked yeah that'd understand that you have this fundamental core defend set in. won't. Let you enjoy yourself naked number. One shouted people naked. I dont, like group nudity. I can't handle it yeah, but when you hear about that cause. I don't either. Is it like you'll be judged like you know, minds differently like they're gonna, see my dick with another Don't want anybody to see my dear I'm not ready for it. I've I've only been in this profession for about five years, the shock as an economic area, shall you be it be branded somehow cause? My dick is like six long why I'm only five four, that's amaze, so it lot more like a tale. Yeah yeah he's role it up. It has a spine.
Look. I don't know like what we were ok, so we were driving. It was my ex boyfriend back. His boyfriend had rented a house, his boyfriend friend his nor his wife. He is he's gay. His boyfriend had rendered him house so when the deciding factor in his no by mean we when we work together, he was like we were like young and he wasn't Data to come out and he's gonna have shepherded varied and that no one here anyway, so no no, I do is there a moment where he just look at your vagina said I'm done here. You know what I actually feel that he and he will still say that he he was like he was into it as much as he could at that
I felt like we were fighting like I didn't really large is a good idea. I think a centrally he needs a dick leah, but he what he's not on the kinsey scaler would ever like he's. Still. I turned on by pussies rhyming anythin sure what must have Helen you go out with him, not that long. Like five months. Ok, so back to the story and his boyfriend, who you get along with your friends with the guy, yeah we were sweet, sweet friends and so his boyfriend, rented a house in palm springs and a bunch of us were going there to go and like hang out and the plan was we're going to take 'em dna and, like just chill out which I had never done before and on the way there are going to see kinder yeah. It's like I know that came out after I stopped doing drugs and it's one of the yeah and I've liked. I did it for the first time at thirty yeah and it's one of those ones like I just feel love yeah totally, but I thought it was like ecstasy and the only thing I knew about ecstasy was like some sort of like twenty twenty report. Were there like
you get to horny. Unlike you get hold in your brain and I was just like. I would never do that and spinal cord things. Yeah you're decide get away from me. I don't arrow. I never wanted idea who does right so, but I think Andrea may as something that's like the pure. It right as the chemical thing I healthy ecstasy whatever you may need to tell you- is that you get there sure so driving there and I was like I do- want to take em dna with all these. Like visual artists, there are gonna, be naked and I dont like that if europe is to use a visual art and with them in the remainder of the motor and sober his friends in seven, I was going with like a comedian friend of mine and end his in our other friend his girlfriend and is terrifying to think there. We're gonna be naked, but then we all took it and then they were naked and they all. Of course
everyone's body was beautiful. Yeah, maybe was the embryo may talking. I would definitely was finally just around by cherubs. They looked so day, ok, here and you're like now. Not now I was like. I can't, and I don't know I really would like to know why I can't just like be naked and around groups, but I just feel really really shy. I don't think it's a like. I don't think you should trouble your where the too much I don't think he's you wake up and go today is the day I want. I leave my house naked now. Yeah, there's no reason for that. Why force yourself, if, if it's just not, they might just be because there is like just a part of me that has traditionally kind of his old and with me, I think it's sort of. Why do you know what he would like for me with a dude? I would think I mean I'd like to be that comfortable me to it. Love it yeah but like for me like okay, so everyone's taking their cars off I'm taking my cause, I gotta walk around. Go like it's a grower. It's a grower,
this whole thing in that a bummer, a horror. I wanna be that guy the naked party now in every and the look out a now re and then here's what I dont get is how people act like they're, not staring at everything, because I was like staring at everything yeah, but your aunt em dna check how closely when your staring I know we come here. Second, it's really more complicated than I thought it was yeah. It was like an inch away from everyone's bush like all night long, just smiling a really gentle smile, where, where did you grow up, I'm from milton massachusetts? Okay? First, this word association: okay, ready, curry college. Oh men, man. If that's what you get man an american man, that I know that went there and made this. He played tennis with my sister. One of my sisters at curry college know yeah that knowing the tennis camp there was like a tennis camp there and my sister was a tennis teacher
and there was like a cute guy there. How do you know about curry college? I went through my freshman year. You did was down the street from you when you were a child. What, when wet year and eighty one eighty oh yeah. I wasn't born you weren't even getting boring your dad was around now yeah my dad runs late yeah and he was down the street yeah and your mom. Actually they bought the house in eighty one. So you guys were. I think in the town they were excited to move in, and I was like what the fuck am I doing here. Did you like it? What no, because I got it one of them, is that how Mary pass to get out of albuquerque new mexico? My grades were great nice going, they sort it out, oh, graham, like yahoo is basically schools where I think that a very like nationally renown programme,
dyslexics but also sort of white will take your fucked up middle class. Kids too. If you can afford to have them here and so you are like, I will go to this transfer out and try to now it and then where'd you go. Be you, oh cool. Sorry, if you know me so I got it's a hoity toity, you think that what he meant the way it was just one it or not. I dunno. Actually, my experience of the town is like so isolated. Is my parents, like we all, just stayed in our house all the time really yeah like I didn't go to their public school, so I didn't really know like the kids in the town yeah. You know and I think you're defining hortatory as we speak, No, I just mean those children seem dirty and where'd you go. I went I'll take of course better. That was right. There really small school and then he had the stupid, expensive college and there nice houses.
Five miles away? There's mattapan and everything's different here. Yes, everything is very different and dorchester is like a be a major class discrepancy there yeah. It was sort of fascinated me. I'm trying to remember my experience or I you know I did I studied hard and I did well enough to get out yeah yeah kind of like focused. I was one of those sort of like he's really bright, but he just isn't that motivated like I, I I nailed it a bit. Did you feel bad?
that. People said that about you that you weren't motivated no because in retrospect what a morning about myself is, it is what it is. You know I was a creative kid, but I just couldn't. I can focus yeah like I just was like exhausted all the time yeah like if somebody started teaching me anything I'd be like. Oh, my god. I can't I can't stay awake for this yeah. That's how I felt about math and like clocks clocks in general, like clocks, like when I look at the clock that has the face with the numbers or one of those those clocks. I still have to go like five, ten fifteen twenty like to count the minutes, because I just got so bored whenever was math or that kind of stuff, and I felt really bad about it until I think recently, but I would do the same thing where I would just be like. I am not going to even fucking do this like and I felt so bad about it, but then english and history I could. I could get there, but I still just had a really hard.
Focusing, but I knew I wasn't dumb and I was dislike like just as one be done, what we're math in those things like that, the puzzle sciences here have aware there is definitely a correct answer. Right, there's! No, becky awaiting its like. If you learn this day, answer should be that in cycles, I already know that it can be something. Why do you need a fucking hear it from me? No, I get it, I get it, but the idea is like well. Maybe you should make your brain do that it could help you when you're counting later it could, and you should try to do everything I do think like as a kid. It's like just tried it let us try to do it. I couldn't do it because, like I just for some reason, my brain wouldn't do it here, like a like. There was not enough poetry in algeria, for me and people would argue that won the more poetic maths yeah.
I actually kind of got into like geometry, Munich and the proofs are like what will you do it, because it's very heavy industry and also a sort of like you know, there's a sense that there's a picture yeah it sort of like? Oh, you can make these like the wider picture is the way it is right and you can see it and fractals are super cool and poetic man citing and contain. Obviously like the cons of infinity and that's really cool to think about. It has a little exhausting but yeah it's exhausted in a way that leg its exhausting tomorrow into the sky. Right, hazardous, like my heart rival of great here, there's the poetry Yang then there in from their there's, like we're just going through space and then there's like disraeli temporary and then there's when we don't really matter and then there's dark, do you There can. I just did ya. You undoubtedly did resort three or four steps, and I was there. I don't go there. I would just make rather like be a witch, and just be like
die one day and I'm going to be like ninety nine and my skin's going to be like bark and my hair is going to be like one hundred feet long and I'm going to become a ghost. That's probably good yeah Rule, I think you're gonna, be there I'll go there. I hope that, for you need to yeah like love, I'm not going to be like my grandma these are like beautiful, wonderful, old ladys who had hairdos like sprayed. You know well like sure steel magnolia, like helmet heads yeah, there's only like, I think, there's only two or three options at a certain age. If you just let it go gray and wilder, you do the three things yet you gotta be like mod. than done long way with great yeah. Yes, that very few women- have the courage gotta do it. That seems like the best ruth gordon from Quincy Massachusetts, the town where my father's from Quincy Massachusetts, that's a talent. One of my whether jackets is for us seriously drove their together. Where'd you get advancing
They make really good whether they get their motorcycle people, their renown. American, whether jacket makers in quincy, mass yeah never show room there and I went com but Are we going with this? Oh, your hair. You can be old in your hair. I know it. I am for that. I think so and that's a reason. You don't go to meaninglessness when you look in the air, maybe because you want to live to an old age I never yet, and that makes yeah. I want to live to be really old and then one thing that scares me about it. A little bit is that I don't know who will be with me. That's that scares me cause. I don't know if I ever one of kids so that that unlike well, I better make a lot of friends and young ones. I think that what you just said is your version of looking into the air and sea meaningless, and I got to know from the sea alone or not
It should counter that now you start collecting people right. The the wild card is what, if I outlive them all right, you'll be the one with a story to tell and by then maybe you'll be comfortable. Maybe that you know that's. The other thing is like you'll be able to smoke pot by yourself and not freak out. Oh, I can do that very easily. Okay, I mean I freak out sometimes, but I just like ride it yeah you just gotta get through it man. I do I like her. It's weird. The only way forward is through is that how it goes, I think the only way out is through I dunno forward to the store or go back. The other way I threw the forward out of it with booze drugs. You just sort of ride it out man. I really I go through times where I'm like. I should not be smoking weed. I was way too anxious, but then I just
about that. It's there and I want to smoke it really badly and- and I do smoke it and then I'll go through like fifteen minutes of of a very harsh freak out. That is like acid. In my heart, like it just like it's bad, really, emotional and then I'll be like you're not going to feel this way in ten minutes. Don't even worry about ten minutes. It's like everything's going to seem. Okay, yeah and you'd be real asked it's so cool and entertained by almost nothing yeah yeah and just like wow, I'm thinking yeah. I love it. Sometimes I, like the other night, I hit a really cool sweet spot, where I like felt, like everything I said, was exactly right, no good, but all of the people I was talking to didn't, seem like they sound that way. They didn't understand. The amazon is like a patent.
is the annoying stoned, lady again yeah? So what did you study if it was not math? What was your thing? What what? What inspired you and made you the creative juggernaut that you are, I studied well in college. I studied english and comparative lit when you went to where columbia fancy three, so pretty well with your no math policy yeah. But you know what yeah I always was like a b math and then in an english, ok and then, like really focus on like how do I just get out of here, not that I, like my life, but I really wanted to become a performer, and I always high school. You knew you want to be a performer. I knew always what what kind of business, where you're nonsense and to do my dad's, it poet and my mom is a rack who potter rescue. That's the earthy one yeah! You, like you, make pot portion. in pottery, and then you fire it in
you fired into that sorta. Like I dunno. What's going to what is going to come out like yeah, I can only control so much that it looks a little burnt, but I think that's the way it's supposed to that's the way it's supposed to. Mom set our woods on fire like fifty times with her kill him with her barrels of cause. The kiln is contained, but the barrels have fire coming out of them and you have both yes, okay and she would like she's like a super neurotic woman who would set the pots on fire in the woods on purpose. But then, of course, the woods were like brambly and wild and they would catch on fire, You never permit you to be firing the pots, if she'd be like girls, girls, vile and then we would all like run out with buckets of water and they put it out and did that to add to the quality of the pot. Like you know, I don't think I could have gotten this texture. Had we not caught the woods umpire they something about my mom that wants to make danger all the time with pottery way. That's always does it. I guess rigs recordings.
Neither does it just on the edge of chaos here. Well did would, did you ever get into a kind of like integrating sticks and leaves into the pottery halls, and and did she do something other than vessels like hanging thing? he did like really nineties, like collages with the throng www chopsticks than that ceramic peace in than they really always bothered me, but she likes them and they are and our house a lot. Are they in other people's homes yeah cause? He would like most of my childhood. She was like in crafts like travelling like she would go and crafts fairs and sell the take orders and sell the art shirt. There's a couple approaches to the pottery thing: there are the practical potters make vessels for everyday use right and then there's the art potter's. She was an art pottery, but she kind of like she also sold them in like neiman, marcus and stuff when they had a gallery.
Oh so she was, she was working at. She worked at nah. Yes, she did her best. She and I mean I love her pottery. I don't like the collages, but I love your dad was in his study. Looking out on the yard saying the woods are on fire yeah, my wife's pots, my wife, my daughters, my fire and my dad ceramics. He was a he taught at the university of madison. Wisconsin The badgers and then when my older sister was born, which was in wisconsin. He got a job working for writing speeches for like the head of a duty of care Your company called weighing weighing remember Wang gathers and, like Mr Lange, the humour to Wang. I mean Mr Wang yank centre, downtown Ah, here the length and at her
I dad see some shows at the Wang center hi saigon, with the when I saw the film with the reissue of the reaper when my grandfather and yeah my dad might like this is the crux of my stand up, but that my dad spent like the majority of my childhood in a nightgown like a big, long, pink night shirt nightgown that said weighing on it was what he wore too sleepy. That's what you saw him in the morning media and when a deadline- bed, yes weighing anyway, it's like ever like a good forty five minutes, well yeah. I can see how it could be the funny and attic nothing. Look at all it s, if you don't know any different sure like, but then you go to school near like mine, It fell down the stairs and he was wearing his night, certainly like offices, but never like your dad, we're the nightgown. Does Wang yet so he can't even irish poet, yeah yeah yeah
It can be one. The bread loaf award, which is like a big poetry award. I enjoy some poetry, occasionally oh yeah sure you'd like his bombs, then the new yorker and their gotten, really wonderful, diy poetry. Yeah do do you have to know okay, he doesn't care, he doesn't. I think you'd be upset. If I wasn't like, if I didn't read, no, I think that would be upsetting to everybody like that. Yeah, that's bad! That's like bad, the poetry, I'm not great at spelling, I'm finding on twitter that either the but poetry is like. I, I think it's easy to to sort of dismiss it or be condescending, but it's a tough racket to kind of get those words to like, That takes a certain. I gazed on those things were people again. Ninety eight can a poem, that's true! No, I don't think it's. I mean people think that about photography too. That was a big problem of photography once a release. The brownie magee cameras that everyone who is re about it was like now what right now
ruins that person across the street taking a picture of her son. She ruined everything, yeah right, exactly yeah a lot of people ruined everything, but it's actually all fine yeah yeah. It look. level the playing field now everybody can do whatever they want and put it up for everybody to see, and it makes the world better yeah. The only thing that matters now are our intentions. Welcome to the future, our intentions and our visibility yeah. sure. Well, my dad. You know he worked in the like business world, for most of my childhood to you know, make money and didn't have his first big success until he was like fifty, oh and that origin yeah it's cool and but the bread, love roared yeah, you tat, he had a long, sometimes both take some time. He had a long period of not I don't know, I don't know if I should not sheriff and cracked I think not being able to really right what he wanted to write, but he he used to like when they lived in wisconsin. He had a poultry magazine called the chowder review
well. He could always write what he wants to write. It's just like where's it going to go. I think who's out. There was another big poet who, I believe was an insurance salesman. Like wallace Stevens, I think, was well wallace stevens, as your dog was named after okay. There you go yeah that makes bali and he hated my dad and hated all of us but like as a sort of barometer for your dad's life. Wallace Stevens was a businessman, yeah yeah. So your dad knew that, yes, he had your dad is sort of. Like a you know. He was like well that guy didn't make it until he was that guy. He was the hope. Wallace Stevens was your father's hope. Maybe my dad's like he knows, he's the person that I think, except for maybe bugs you know like he knows everything his winds, butter, insects like he'll, be like he couldn't heal, know. about like poetic bugs. You know like? Oh look, the praying mantis sake, the female each, the male after mating, like Hell, no something like that. It's like relic sexual and interest anglia, but he doesn't.
You know and he'll know about like the beatles and stuff like that, but I I think my dad I my impression of him is that he knows the answer to have so many questions almost all of them. It's good to have a dad like that yeah, but then he's also like really open, insensitive and I'll call him and be like. Oh I dunno man I dunno and it'll be like how can you know Jen? How can you know then I'll be like? Oh whew? Okay, I'm in the car. I have to go thanks for talking me through the first ten minutes to my high yeah, says you'd ever say that or use the one gen. I think I smoked a little bit too much pot around my parents when I went to visit them recently, yeah, there's a concern that I don't know I mean I just was so relaxed and I just kept getting too wanting to get stoned and at dinner like everything and they were just smoking it in front of them.
Well yeah, but they don't mind. I think if I smoked a cigarette in front of them, they would be like fucking, idiot and I'd be like yes, do you smoke cigarettes yeah? Sometimes I'm definitely trying to stop it's really. I I don't want to. I don't think it's like cool, but the other day I someone took a picture of me and I put it on my instagram and I was smoking in the picture and I thought it was a nice picture of myself. So I wanted the beat there and then somebody somebody that I looked and saw who they were like you're, the best or whatever, and it was like a teenager, and I was like ugh- no no are you do don't smoke don t you should put down at the bottom of the picture, but you know what level smoking here
I did too yeah. I smoked lights. Yeah. I smoked a lot of things yeah. I smoke marlboro lights towards the end, so you don't smoke cigarettes anymore. Do not that's really good and it's been a long time. I don't do anything anymore, no drinking nothing! So, okay, you go to columbia. The world is your oyster Jia yeah. I kind of felt like that. Yeah and you're in new york, city, yeah and you're, going to study comparative lit in english. Yeah English was your comparative literature, yeah and now you're on the upper west side. Yes and you're like fuck it. I was leg Phyllis either I like what is really felicity other go. You know it's never what you think it'll feel like. I was like Look at me. I'm like a young eighteen year old,
like limited experiences in every way, and I have long curly hair and I'm just like wearing a big sweater, but don't you have words words in college YAP, the best loved it at all. It was cool, but then I kind of got like a weird look that was like shit. we should was like low riding pants and a belly button pearson display their yeah. That's what I had gross yeah. I was like kind of amerika do but I'm jewish, but like I'm secure as well, but like I'm felicity and my girl, like you just way that my best friend gave described. It was like gypsy sheikh, but I was also a virgin cocktails. Nogood yeah! he did. Your show the live when he did a lie on. It was very funny. Guy he's the best noise in the movie you and use your comedy partner from one anders.
I see I was already out of new york by the time you kids, were. You know, cutting your teeth, yeah, making the scene right, but what wait? What the literature thing, what what was your focus and it ended up being pretty split like I got really into dickensian london and infectious diseases, And- really into how like his like smallpox and cholera and stuff like that, but then we'd have it yeah. Well, like god, I was I feel like. I was just talking about this, but maybe it was when you interrupted your husband while we were in the navy
I do that. I had like one class that I felt like shaped everything and it was woolf, yeats and odin, and that was everything to me. That was harmless. Wolf of Virginia woolf, general yeah, ok, yeats and a few wolf was an odd yet interesting huh. How did that all work together? It's sort of like a like people who were used to a certain structure and then shall shock in world war, one like changed everything and how like structures started to fall apart because of our emotions and how we try to keep them together, but like should we or should we not at the same time, yeah and really beautiful, and I got really into that and then and I didn't have to write a thesis, so I didn't really have to focus on any
thing, but I got really interested in some magical realism. It's beautiful! I really liked anything matches represented like an open heart and unmanageable emotions That seems to be on your resume god. I don't have a resume. I haven't seen a resume in years and I don't have one I had one for waitressing. I passed around, don't eat after a certain point: they're not necessary, no need jesse, you can just say we can go online and see the thing near me Hey, I didn't computer them which aids bomb. I guess I always loved lead in this woman near but not like. Oh do grecian burn or the second coming. Second, come alone that allowing yet ideas like things are not good in their home things via part. Yes, god dammit tad things.
apart, you know, and I see why you avoid that one I mean I don't. I vote some people think that, because I'm cheery, or whatever that it means that I'm like silly or repressed. But honestly, I just think it's the opposite. That's weird! I would never associate that. Oh really, with those character traits get away cause you silly and what was it the other way some people cause, I'm so ensure you know what I would we go a paralyzed with fear and occasionally sad. I am occasionally sad and not paralyzed with fear, but I I I would say that I, I feel very lonely, often yeah, even among people, no, no, not among p but like if there's an hour to word, there's no people around that sort of like yeah. I feel sad, like a puppy like a dog looking at the window do connection yeah yeah, and that also made it hard. I think so, like have proper relationships of people community yeah,
to needy. I'm drained right now. You asked me to come here. You invited me on this day way: you're yeah yeah. I know that what do you think? Why am I doing? This is what I do right now. It's goods is because I need to connect with people and feel like if you were, if you're just rambling, often not actually engaging with me yeah horrible. It just be me pounding up against your boundaries saying like why? Don't you let me in and identify with me, I can't let you pound up against my boundaries and say you marry. This is wrong idea. It's just now! That's not what I'm like. I told you, I'm an old fashioned person. Boundary wonder yeah I just I don't know I yet so, but I I tend to look at all of those things as like. I can I think I went through a time of being embarrassed of being. Naturally lonely
nature? But I also think that there is something really great about it. They know how to use it in a way that is useful. The army, wiping girls thing about like even in now. Oh no, oh, your stand up work, but just in your disposition again in the movie obvious child, I mean they're they're like it's, not it's not a depressive loneliness night, it's sort of like ie. No, it's like it. It's it's full of of an aggravated excitement to to be part of something. Thank you. That's a really nice way. To put it, I think, yeah, it's like a. How can loneliness also be a total celebration of being alive, but that is what it's like and it's like when I I'd. Never. I know I never like made a stand up album more toward, and but when I do my stand up, it's it's just a need to connect, but not like it. I like a very careful, I think, of making sure that is not master. Oratory like it's just unjust
no masturbation joke no, no tons of masturbation, but it's like like. Can I tell you stuff like do you want to know stuff, the framing it through to context yeah? No, I I I'm the same way that the the problem that I had early on was like. I had this need to connect, but I didn't trust the connection yeah. That's why I got stage fright yeah. Why didn't I I didn't get stage fright. I'd be preemptively aggravated with the audience like. My opposed to being stage fright: I'd walk outgoing. What does this gonna suck landers? Why would they like me- and I was there- walk out ready this sort of defend myself right to fight and I would walk out. I had the same thing except. I think I tend to turn it on myself. So, instead of like all these fucking Was there even like me yeah, you know it would just be like I'm such a who are turn on myself, but that seems to be established river.
given now it's take on the rest of these idiots yeah yeah. Sometimes I think I would have an attitude that would be like I, like myself fuck. You just give me a chance and it would be like nobody said anything you're the person who's supposed to be talking, the defenses, what the defensive line herself is the first sign yacu, I'm good, I'm good yeah, crying up and you're like the air yeah. So what was seated while in college yeah, yeah yeah, I did and that's where you started doing the the the sketches and whatnot yeah I started doing improv, that's where I met gave leaping and an improv group. Yes in college yeah actually auditioning for like this like stupid, while I probably shouldn't say that but cause I'm cause, I'm sure it meant a lot to me at the time, but it's like this thing that they do at columbia called the varsity show, which is kind of like the harvard hasty pudding
it's like a musical comedy about college, a lot of inside jokes about the chicken fingers in the snack bar or whatever, and there was like literally a song about chicken fingers can I get it regional within the college is all like Are there to argue about back right area right, and so that's how gave an I met auditioning for that and it was like fast friends. Yes, it was like a media that the first timely hung out. We got really stoned and there was a website called cause. Whoa dot com and you can order anything you could be like. I need a toothbrush, I need like a pineapple and I need an e t on vhs, and so we were like We we need doritos and we need. Actually we are looking for E t. His ruling for e t come within hours were well, I don't know cause it never worked, because we kept typing an easy and adjust thing. Did you mean tank girl? We were like no don't mean tank girl, and so we
when, unlike a adventure, to try to go to the blockbuster to get e t, but we took us really long time to get there cause. We took the train the wrong way, or we just like to stone to do everything right when we got there. We finally found iti in the Neither one of us had an idea, an account here, but thou The phenomenon whereby said about the journey here now is the first time and I started when did you start just performing so our or outside of the group? Even I we were like in a sketch group with some of the people from the improv group that we were eventually in in college when we graduated in two thousand and four and then some of those people wanted to like get other degrees and stuff. So we started doing stand up as a duo at refi and and then and and then we started doing stand up separately also, I would say, like maybe a year into that,
were phoebe was where white bring your friends or what bring them up in that combat, invite them up garments, empire Bobby and eugene bobbing eugene, certain put, place on the map gather did those after I left. I remember doing one or two shows there when I went back to, but it was like a a a a significant off comedy. I knew it was yeah. It was everything era you were coming up and yet what year? We talkin two thousand five god damn it hasn't said, Jesus yeah here and it was like everything to just do that they had a bit ana, invite them out those called thirty seconds of stand up and you are. In thirty seconds you stand up, and I remember the first time gave an I got that we were like this is our like big break out. You know how crazy sank it. It was great when great and then it was like nick
cruel and John mulaney had a thursday night show Greg Johnson at the friday night and gave in. I eventually got the monday night with Greg johnson he's in new york or he rules good yeah. I love that guy he's a good guy he's really special and funny yeah. You haven't seen him in awhile, alright, so you're doing some solo stand up you're what twenty twenty two twenty three and he's still cause. I don't know you as a stand up yeah because I just do for fun right and which is weird and like all my friends, make albums, and I am not bad its end up. I think I'm good at it, but I just
have never wanted to do albums because it makes me feel scared to say something and not be able to say it again. Oh what oh I get. It causes thirty done an I kind of like to ask a dual talk. You know say the same stories like again and again, but I just I like to see them differently to the new people have written now, I'm I'm on board with that yeah, but sometimes my husband's like. Why do you do that? Like you're gonna really regret this, like you should really record their son. I just don't want to. Unlike you know, what a record of yourself you sometimes I record my sets and I listened to them in the car
on the way to a new shelton but yeah, I loved that time, but it looking back on it, I'm I feel very romantic about it, but at the time also really hard. Obviously why? Just because I was like unemployed and really I got into send a, but I always is one to be a movie actress and then I just begins. I became sin of comedian was like an old. This is like I have always felt like I'm, not an kind of a storyteller and kind of just like a talker. When did the opportunity start to happen? I I In two thousand and nine I made it I was like this is really weird. This is like a some stupid, but why not? So I was doing most doing stand up with. And green thing, yeah and and and also separate, and then
we had a show. I believe we had. It then called big. Terrific, with maxilla story- I remember it's still- there is in an unreleased wtf, oh cool yeah he's we should have them for real and, I think he's one of the funniest but anyway, so I think we were doing that. Then, if not, it was still called at night with gabe and jenny, but anyway we're doing it. I went to see this psychic this like tarot card reader, and I do this kind of stuff I used to do it now, I don't and that she was like you need to
we'll get all of your characters out there and I was like yeah, don't do sketch. I don't do that and she was like. No you you did, though, didn't you and I was like well yeah. I guess right she was like you need to do it cause otherwise you're just going to you're going to feel nailed to a spot, and you need to do it and get them out and put them onto a stage. And if you do that, she was like you need to do that and by the winter, and if you do that by august, you'll be offered the big stage and then by September you're going to be calling me and you're going to need help. But it's going to be hey now it's like thieves. This is like terrifying. You know why, like that she was forward thinking she didn't. She put a calendar on it, yeah here's my card yeah. It was like crazy, so I was like alright and then I started to my husband never were together at that point, and I was like I do one woman show, but I hate that they're called that. So I do like a one lady show and the only thing I could think of a cycle. Will it that what would it be?
like if I died right now. What would and I died as an eccentric million. And so I made a show called generously dead, millionaire that was, it took place at my funeral. And it was that I was an eccentric, emily. and I had left all my money to the dog and are you as myself in all different characters, including like Gloria estefan, who claimed that I had bought her a new bus after her old bus ran her over who they are used. Think that's what happened because you know she can like a big bus accident. right so used to think that she got run over by her own bus. But that's not what happened anyway and and had a video will that I like made with my husband, and he made these beautiful, really weird high concept. owes me did the show at u c, b, which I wasn't really a part of what they were nice enough to. Let me do it so I did and then like a week later, it was
unlike may, and I did it for a week and then add one and then in the second one. I guess somebody from personnel like heard about it and they came and then a week after that I had my audition, personnel and also at that time, just randomly. I I got hired to be in these sketches on late night with jimmy fallon when in their first season and had gotten on board to death. I had just like stumbled into an audition for boards death, which is on h, b o as like a cast. here and then knows recurring recurring well yeah. Somebody had liked me and then they re like wrote me into the show right. As far as I understand it and that's all I got an agent also because I worked with jason schwartz men. on that first day, and he was like. Oh, oh, you know like this is really fun. Let's work together again who's your agent and I was like really embarrassing, like I don't have an unjust just here, and so he sent his agent
see me a while and that's how I got an agent to so that so kind of, like all the joy of georgia. The names yeah Even I won a weirdo yeah. You know he knows that he is noise made a living on yeah yeah. I totally but I have also happened in a flurry yeah within a six month. Period yeah and it was just sort of the heat was on jet- put like just right, Did working it didn't at all feel like with the little girl my brain knows well, at least of unemployment. You know I wasn't in a nice way to frame it, but I think in retrospect yeah you can see it as a break. I know it's just so we're because it's only now that I feel a little more like I've gotten a break now. This is part of as a fanatic element of my show so who came to see us and our marcy.
I am cohen, I believe, and so that process, since it is a big deal, I think what's interesting before I let them go just people that are listening and learning is that you did a fairly peculiar and very abstract. One person show ass, I did and you committed to it yet you had. This- can see that you know I would have been like that's cool Is he and you locked in yeah and you built around it? You build something out of nothing based on ridiculousness yeah and it and it- and it was great I think so I I thought it was really beautiful and it was really high concept and like it was like there's so many and shitty one people shows where their dislike. These are all by voices that I could do it like. These are my wags, knowing your dear, like cool, who knows a man like you just like. I want to watch this right. This addition, so how to through line yeah like I just did it cause the psychic was like. Do it It has even called her in the show no
had I am back to her. Yes, ok! So that's what we're gonna end with that, but so what happens the snl audition process, so they were like you. I can't remember, find to put it in a tape. I don't think I did. Sometimes they make you send in a tape and then you can get in addition, but I believe I just went right in, but I only had a week and I was like not from the groundlings you see me like. I didn't have polished character, and rightly you ve done over over again ray and also like. I was twenty six. I believe for twenty. Seven, I think, has twenty seven and I didn't think that they were gonna higher anyone anyway, because they had just hired abbe, elliot and mikhail harkin's, and I just thought I miss my chance and that I was like honestly just not I mean in the end
right, but like just not right for the show, and I had a week's put together these characters. I did you five and two of them had to be impressions and So I just was like well fuck it I mean, like I'm, not gonna, try to figure out what they want, because then I on the show and I'm gonna be tasked with like keeping up the appearance of like being in amino being impostor, basically and trying to do normal characters when I'm not interested in that? Were I don't know it normal is, but whatever you if didn't want to hack it out. He didn't want to exist sort of like nobody likes this thing, and I'm going to do a thing like that, because that's where later, what's the game of this character- and it's like, I don't care
I don't know I don't fucking know. I don't know, that's not why I perform what kind of language is it what what's a game of this card? I think it's like improv language, you know, and but so I put together the audition then I was just like super scared and I took the b train from brooklyn to rockefeller center, and that was what was kind of cool, and maybe this is cheesy but I've I had always wanted to be on snl. Since I was, very, very young? I wanted to be both like movie actress, lake, madeline, khan and Ruth gordon, and also wanted to be like killed Radner in Lorraine. Newman, that's like I just wanted it always an all those make sense for you yet another coup and they're right and they're all women that have like a cool style and can't be replaced, and I just was like I want that they're all funny and they're very funny and find funny and full of joy and full of life in anyway. So I used to my therapist was one:
after rockefeller center and used to like ride through and be like one day I'll get off here, one day out I'll get off here since the beginning of a yeah kind of like a really short, more really long when you're lying you're, one movie that that one year long and nobody wants to it, but though I did the five characters and I performed on the stage- and I remembered and they like put you in a dressing room, and I was like so scared. if I've ever been that scared terrified got up at. We did. The audition on the stage and they were just like nobody's gonna laugh. So just do it and leave, unlike don't try to kiss up, don't try to like talk to learn just like. Do your shit and leave and I remember being like fine, I will My shit and leave because I have a life and in at the end of the day later shit into a toilet and so as everyone else here and so like violence, nor should I much
Is your toilet well sure and then he's going to get like water sprayed up onto it, whereas, like I'm going to like doing normal stuff, he probably have to switch over to that bowl. Do you think like dude, he shits in one bowl and then he goes to the big day or maybe he's got like a special one? I get some who could know who could ever know in our mr. I ever get the media an of once a hawk about the so the gold one I did it near. Then, but ever and then everyone laughed and I was like a gay and then and then I was like their nicer than everyone says there and they Did everyone like? I heard them laughing at everyone? It wasn't just me and I was like our people just trying to make this be a scary place, and then I was just like. Hey at least I got to stand on that stage so whatever and then I just took the subway. But I remember when I left, I shook laurens hand and I shook set myers hand. I just member like they both smiled and I was like
thing that I've said over and over again to my mom, because she's like why do the animals always come up and walk on our lawn like the foxes and the deers and I'll be like because humans aren't natural predators, and I think they know that and should always be like they don't know that. But I think I was like oh yeah, they're, not they're not mean there are like China, my feelings and then that was in june and dumb make the first week of june. Had all summer and a move to allay for the summer cause. I had an agent for the first time and I worked on like a terrible tv show where I was through. It was real bad yacht bad three camera knives like the school georgia has called brothers stirring, Michael stray hen and c c h, pounded and karl weathers, and I was the one white person on it and It's like that crazy white bitch who was like, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. It was like what is this. This is the worst, but I liked it cause. It was like working yeah and then august
like lorn, wants you to come back in addition again and I was like: are you fucking kidding me? They had to do all new characters, and so I did that. But you didn't say no, I was like you can't you know who would say no, but really I mean now now I'd say no, but you you know. So I went back and I it again new characters, I walked in, and I had like a big bag of wigs and seth was, like. I m, very excited to see what comes out of that I and I just remember, going meet you then I was like. Why did I say that? But I was excited. I think it's somebody else that he knew as there may be cant. Maybe I dunno if it was I didn't really know Colin Joseph. We might have been john mulaney, but anyway I did it again and then the week and they were like Lauren wants you to come back to me with him but it does it mean that your hired and don't expect anything and you're probably wait for three hours to see him and just like sit there, and as I, oh okay, this is so psycho
I went through this year, okay, so yeah. So then I went there, but then I didn't wait. I just got there and naseem was also there naseem hundred and- and I waited- for like ten minutes, and then I went in there and he asked me who was in the room lorne just one yeah in his office, and he was like. Where are you from, I said massachusetts and he was like? Have you worked with wigs a lot before and I thought he meant christian wick and I was like I've never even met her, but I really admire her and he was like no wigs and I was like oh sucks like I was like yeah, but I just kept telling me looks like he's. Just a man he's just a man like you have so much in front of you. That's all that matters, don't worry about it and sobs. I've oh I remember, seeing like oh no, sorry I don't know no a yeah. I've worked with that. Like wigs in my one person, show, but I dont, like
do that I don't have any with me yeah. I was like I I you know here and there, but I would be very comfortable with them and then he was like. Well, think you'd be great addition to the show and we're gonna get you in office, and I say so. I wanted. to say it. So I was like so I'm going to be on Saturday night live and he was like yeah and I was like that's so great and I feel like I know you value you seen this like happen, a million times a former people like, I can't believe it, but this is my a dream and I'm so excited and whose equal cable don't tell him because you know I haven't announce it yet and I was like I tell my manners and then he laughed and you like her Do your Nana nose like at there this you know age and then he laughed and I was I can I give you a hug and he was like sure, and then we hugged and I went outside and south waiting there and he was like a what did he say and I said he summoned to be on the show and such like oh. That doesn't really happen, and I said he said I could have an office and stuff and then said
like what's jangle fine, John leanings, we went into the offices and because I knew John and we couldn't find him in and then I was like well, I'm gonna go and then I went outside and I went into the courtyard of rockefeller centre and with some getting motion I called my parents, and I I'm gonna be on Saturday night liven was really exciting, dove, that's great, where my climaxes, I don't need any never cry when I I just you know what it is a beautiful story, and sometimes I forget that we don't cry. Oh, I have queen, oh because it is like cool to achieve something that you've always wanted and to do it kind of on your terms to call my parents like
They were test so stun like we were also stunned. Just I came from like this fucking haunted house with these two: are with the woods on fire like had this one dream and went to college, and and become an asshole, and you know did that and it didn't. I was there for just the right amount of time, but you know to just call them and make that phone call. Honestly. I I forget about that. Then it was really really meaningful. Yeah yeah amazing, it's a great story. Yeah! It is that it was so you know beat for beat that wasn't convoluted and seth was like what yeah it was so cool and it was like, and also it's like, there's seth Meyers he's like this, like handsome man that I just had seen on tv for so long. You know and any easier nicer than you ever think. He would very nice guy yeah and I was like so but then
was so scared yeah. When you want to work yeah yeah, then I was so scared because there is this whole thing everybody saying no one's gonna tell you anything for everybody, told tolls all this stuff in none of it to this point turned out to be true rewrite yeah cause? You have a lot of reps, like you know, johnson manager is being leg not going to do. That is not knowledge that lake or, like I, never read any of those books, but you get the senses. who are like it's really hard for women and I didn't feel that way and then a bum in a bummer way. I've been misquoted a bunch of time saying that they didn't like like me as a woman, but It is not true that nobody was ever like down little girl who they didn't. Like everyone was nice nice to me and how many shows, as you do like by did the season we can also twenty six. I mean exciting right yeah, it were, I mean it's all of it is exciting
a terrifying exhilarated. Felt a lot like wake. If I hadn't been on it, I would still be trained beyond it now at thirty two like I would always try to be on it, because it was my dream, but it's like getting to. I wish I didn't have to do a sexual metaphor for it, but sometimes I make everything into like a satisfaction, em situation, it's getting to sleep with that, like really hot person that you're like they're so wrong. For me, I'll be my worst self around them. We always try to be so hot and so perfect around them and I will always even if they like consistently wanna be with me. I'll, always wonder of faith still want to be with me, the second after we're done, that's what it was like or so reasonable yeah it's just like it's in addition than being like now me in their likeness, are rewarded thoroughly. I'm tired the egg.
I couldn't do that. It is even worse but it didn't end well, did. Well looking back on It- it ended exactly as as it should have and invest. Will you look back on anything yet I mean I was like really hurt my feelings I got fired, but what was the story I don't know, I don't know why I got fired. What was the? What would you do? I think I mean well. First of all, obviously my first episode was like a disaster and because they said fuck and I'm like over talking about that- that's what happened as fuck by mistake in a sketch that I wrote and then, though, like what really sucked about that was that I became the girl that made a mistake when until then, like I've, just kind of live, my life my own way and I stand up and you can say fuck and you know what you can say fuck and also who gives us. I don't feel bad about it. I'm not sorry. I'm on
sigh for how we treat it? Myself, though? You be yourself up so much so bad after the first episode, yeah muslin, just fuckin awful its set, I mean everybody was so supportive, like I remember even The good news is unprecedented. No, like I didn't Oh anything out what was going on and had never been on live tv it slipped out. I was too comfortable and too excited, unlike whatever the reason why I don't like talking about it is just because it's usually and in a more traditional interview when people forget, like everything else, I've done in it by worries me and I don't like the idea of lake- and I said this like terry growth, which like really scary, but I did, and I was like I don't like the idea of like south my Is your bill Hader, Amy, poehler, listening to this and thinking this is what I'm talking about when I have like done a lot since then, and I've been I've done, those things I'm proud of on purpose, you know, but anyway, yeah
think people other people just seem to like fit in better just they were more but nobody's at ease. I mean even like Christian would be like. I don't feel nervous every week you know, but but you did state the entire season have hated and I did some things I'm really proud of. Like I love this like doorbell care. For that. I did, and I wrote a sketch for Betty white where she was going, she's has written and Amy polar was playing like an obvious young lesbian and everyone is like you know, trying to make her something she wasn't enter. It was like. a total honour to write that for Amy me in, be in that, and it was both positive and really really hard cause. I was super abusive to myself. I just my husband said that it was like watching a bunch of football players stamp on a painting, but I don't know who
I am the painting, you know, and often the farm layer grasp of about one year like he was like whatever like. Why do you even care? Why do you care job? Beware would but, though I know, but the that's easy answer yet the most important thing in your life right right. You know those of the eu to do your entire life again, and you know that the thing about- having a personality like that I share with you is that you know whether or not you admit it. You want desperately to be like anyone desperately to connect, and I want to do job yet and if you're not getting that feed back, you know your your natural tendency would be to be like I'm not doing enough job. They don't like me when I saw way it's a creative problem is its achilles heel yeah. There is sort of like this and their at least that's what I wrote assumed because also I had like watched. You know all the guilder radner shit cause. I was like perfect for this, because I'm wild at heart- and I were.
of joy and and when I'm not happy and when I'm scared like I, I I don't you will so I was I'll be in my parents- are always like yeah you're perfect for it. Because of that, like you can definitely do it and then I got there and I was like oh it's that I dont want to call it a culture of fear, but it's a high school. environment and you almost have to earn the right to be operating off. Of joy, only I don't know of any body does that you're making, as lauren said to me, and I I don't think I'll- never forget it like. He was like it's ok, but lake hughes, like I'm, gonna, pull you back now, because I don't this to be the first thing that everyone writes about you. You know that you said fuck which, by the way it it was- and I think it's kind of over now, but he was like it takes a long time at least three years to become comfortable in the top of a skyscraper. In
Skyscraper in the middle of new york city in the middle of the night on live tv, and I just remember being like yeah. I guess that is what it is. That is what we're doing here. It's like fucking, psycho cycle job and I'm really glad that I only had to work there for a year and I think it's sort of abuse blunt act that I got fired and I didn't really expected until like at the end The euro is like all right. I had a rough go but up- and I remember set saying to me like at the final part he was like you're gonna, be a force of nature next year, and then I remember like a week later so im having this feeling, I was like. No, I'm not I'm going to get fired, and then I just waited all summer to get fired and I like went to france and got super fucking constipated and just like couldn't take a shit in france and it sucked it's like eating tons of cheese and baguettes than likely connected to me. I I yeah. I think
just like held in my shit until I got fired and the new eta and then I was just like that I broke ninety toilets and a and you You don't really you never really investigated wire. You have a sense of it. It doesn't not that it matters, but I mean just for your own. Well, what happened or I was in therapy, and I got out and I went on my phone and I saw on deadline hollywood, which now they found out. Yes was that I was fired, and so I called my agent chairman and I was like high sharon, durham, jack jack sentence, and I was like I just read that I got fired, but nobody calls like I'm, I was like I kind of expected, but I don't know like Derek fired and she was like what I haven't heard. Anything and you know, let me check it out and then and she's like, but I did see line you know and she was like now what's nino, let's not say yes or no yet, and then she called me back and she
like yeah, honey or fire, you like you're, not renewed, but it's ok and I was I started crying and I was like I feel like somebody just me and a whole like I'm so embarrassed, and but then it was cycle, a huge sense of relief, and then I just went to the supermarket and bought a lot of groceries in just started to bait. mike baked all these cookies and ordered pizza, invited my friends over and just smoked a ton of. We and was like few man and never have to do. that again and never have too few. Any of those feelings again and that I will never forget that and then I just like wrote, set the thank you know
instead. Thank you because I really really liked him and he is a great boss and then he you know he called me and we talked and I dunno and then it was just over for me at least what sounds like you know in retrospect, in in in dealing with your what howard like how you reacted to it and what you put yourself through during it and because of it yet was in your control and and and you don't have to do that again, what the situation and, also. It seems to me that you know the the experience was invaluable, yes and and that you know you live through it and you did some great work. But you know the biggest lesson is not only that you're professional, but that you know you don't have to ever treat yourself like that in any city yes, and I dont know that I would have learned that in such likes to sink lesson and by the time I was out at it was like
and also my husband and I had just made Marcel the shell, and I realized like something in my nature, which is like there is a deep well of just wanting to be alive, like I get super pump to go to bed nice. I'm excited to wake up in the morning and I love being alive, and I was just like that is not a negligible part. That's not a part of me. That's like silly! I'm putting that forward. That's gonna, be there first thing and also there's a alongside that. There's a well of creativity cause you are marcel, the shell, the the the film and the and the book like the thing is that you are for this luxury and in a way of life doing you know six or eight seas. If snl yeah that out as a as a female performer being typecast yeah, and then he has sort of on the other side of it at forty or forty, nama thing is a negative thing, but then struggling to define your voice. Like you know, you were sort of afforded this luxury, though it was painful to sort of still have this time now, as a relative, unknown
in terms of what you can do and what the hell are. You yeah did to really defined yourself on your own terms. Yeah yeah, totally it's like really server in our prototypical birth by fire group, but it's cool unlike like that, doesn't mean that I didn't, you know, stage fright or whatever amateur little fuck it and in general. I, if I looked into the future, then you know but see myself now and especially after having made obvious child like making an independent with these two women that I love. So much in that. Make me feel better and in every way- about myself and make me feel excited and judges have full on done this. I would be proud of the specificity of this type of personal.
Success. No, it's amazing- and I you know, did you know you obviously have done. He hasn't tv and you ve done some voices for animation and stuff, but obvious child. You know I watched it and I get a lot of stuff, yeah I'll be right goes here, but I went on the movie. You did, and I wasn't that familiar with you and our only because a relatively detached yeah I am too and you know like that movie I was like so excited. When I laughed like was great girls grey I want to talk to her, I'm so glad I merely. I really did because what was your I'd heard some of this stuff you in in doing some research and what people but he was my first experience with you as anything and lucky and glad that's. The thing I'm the most proud of is great yeah. I liked the story I thought was ballsy. I thought you were great and you played that you know you know pretty fuckin real
It is real. Well, there's a transition in that thing where you have to own these decisions, yet that you know at least publicly are difficult now and did it with with candour and with sincerity, it. You know, in the logic the emotional logic of it did not deter from the the sweetness of the film, and that was the biggest challenge of that movie. Yeah sphere, that writer director. She is so fucking, smart she's It's a sweetie too. You know she has become a very important person in my life and work. So that was you know I I recommended it right after I thought yeah. So what what's happening now? Wait what how many siblings do you have to how are they they're cool ain't, one of them's at my house right now elder younger. I have both Emma middle child
and what are the older one do my elder sisters name is abbe she's, a nurse practitioner. She has three kids and my younger sisters named Stacy and she worked for Alice waters and the edible schoolyard foundation and now she's, going back to school to become a mental health counselor, oh god, yeah so good, yet. There is good women, decent people, the area. So what do you do now? I well, I'm doing a bunch of stuff. I just finished cruel, show season three and I'm I'm on a show on each be showtime called house of lies. I can go back to that and then like I'm in this, I have some movies. I'm going do, but I dont know which will come first her. What will happen and I started- a new voice over movie, but I don't know if I might say what it is doing any any any stuff of of your own.
I my husband and I have a new marcel, the shell book and short, and we want to make a feature of it, and I want to write a movie for myself. I, like a good sort of throwback, lily, tomlin style movie, studio film. That's what I want great yeah with heart, oh and as promised yeah. When did you go? the fortune teller I started to go back while this is the weirdest thing, so she was like in august, you'll be given the big stage who got hired she's like in september you're, going to call me I called her On the sunday after I had said fuck on snl and she was like jenny, he told her. You call me I was like- oh, my god, yeah, and that- and I had just remembered that yeah and so I called her, then
and as she was basically like it's going to be a tough one for you girl, it's gonna be a tough one, but you can make it through, but you don't she was like I. I can't I can't help you and I was like what and she was just like we're just going to have to go week by week on this one, and I was just like that sucks that sucks yeah yeah, and if we did, I did you kept in touch with him yeah I went. I went to her to the cycle yeah for like, like I went to her week after week for like a month two months and then I was like what am I doing good? well yeah good. There finally happened yet totally will thank for target thanks for having me That's it? That's our show see that. How do you not lover
w p, a pardon, comprehensive devotee of five needs marcus class well yeah, there's search there you can get some christmas presents. We stocked up the teachers and things and mugs you can get the app and upgrades get to all of them all the stuff. You can on my largo show sold out by the way I'll do another one another time What else are we going to our party If you want to stay stay now it like I now I've got to start writing stuff for this parliament. Yes, so ok the
Transcript generated on 2022-09-18.