« WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 608 - Kurt Metzger

2015-06-03 | 🔗
Comedian Kurt Metzger is currently a staff writer on Inside Amy Schumer, which is a far cry from his first TV writing job on a game show hosted by Marc. Kurt tells Marc how he broke out of his life as a Jehovah's Witness, became a comedian, and found himself embroiled in an online controversy about his comedy.

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
I went through this. How are you what the fuckers, what the fuck bodies, what the buccaneers, what the baxter's, what the fuck billy's what's happening. mark marin. This is w two. Yet I am broadcasting my mobile studio at the bow the hotel it's beautiful day, you know it was like two or three days a rainy shit, just good depressing fucking rain, and then it opened up. I got one good. They were starting to take a person I got one good day. Some are another. I think I strained my neck sleeping. Is that possible that I hurt my neck? While I was sleeping, it must have been a rough dream. I must have it active things must have been going on. I threw my neck out in a dream, and now
im having a hard time mobile, I'm having a hard time moving it, and I got a special, a tape on Saturday. So am I going to do my special in chicago, which you can you should all come to see me at the vic theatre in Chicago? It would be nice I think we're doing all right. I think we're gonna have enough people there. The hockey situation did not. I was undaunted. I was not going to be bullied by hockey. Will apparently it's it's not even in chicago, but the young people watch t v, I think both shows are looking people enough to do a special. I think the stage is going to look beautiful. I'm excited to do it Now, I'm just a little concerned that that that my neck mine, could that, like I'm going to have that weird, you know what I'm doing performing and that weird kind of like it instead of turning my neck, I turn my entire upper body. It do that thing on my special for for posterity that I will have the this compromised movement. we'll see we'll see. I don't know today on the show, Kurt metzger brace yourself
card metzger, the comedian. He also rights for the Amy humor, show yeah he's at east asian, outspoken, dude he's an envelope pusher ease of one, the funniest guy. no one, the best joke writers. I know I guess I think I gave him one of his first writing jobs a million years ago in a in a doomed, thank god, a doomed project to a remake of a english. comedy, show called never mind the buzz cox shot. Thirteen of those when I was broke after my first divorce polder pulled the curb metzger into right for me in a couple of points and it was one. The sticking points in my second divorce is actually that my my second wife, it was also a comedian in writer, was by the time she left me was still furious, that I'd hired Kurt metzger not heard a right, we're, never mind. The bus got carried that resentment all the way through, and it was just a practical thing. It was impersonal. Can you write with your wife? Can you write with your girlfriend? Can you have them on a staff is at
healthy work environment had nothing to do with her town. Whatever is not the topic. Kurt metzger is going to blow your mind a little bit. I I barely got a word in he had he had. He had several axes to grind. Is one of the the champions of the of free speech and button pushing so enjoy. I enjoy talking to him. What else can I tell you to morrow night are being cleveland at the playhouse theatre, playhouse square. Come to that. I think there's a few tickets left chicago. As I said, the vic two shows at the vic very excited about. that can be taping. The special and I will be moving in an interesting way: it's not a dance, it's not nothing conceptual art about a date, and I have a bad neck right now, maybe it'll be better. This is thursday should be better. Right sunday, night minneapolis at the pantages. That's a that'll be great. I love minneapolis and that's you know, that's a that's a schedule. That's where we're at right now, that's the immediate schedule I can push. I can push out some
gates. If you want there are some other shows coming up that I could use some attention. There is a run out here on the east coast on Friday june, twenty six be it the bam, howard, opera house, big room, big room ticket. showing, while thou Zuri already well over a thousand take itself, so you might want to get on that brooklyn. That's in Brooklyn saturday junior seven, the paramount theatre, huntington new york huntington out on the island. Let's get those people there. The work people have long island, please, please June june twenty SAM paramount theatre june. Twenty eight, the count she theatre, red bank, new jersey, come on come on out good times, let's go jersey for I'm from. Let's do it right So I want to get over to the new wit needed. I missed big deal man. The new whitney is the shit everyone's talking about it. They moved where the hell was up in the eighties. I think of the seventies it, but the thing is: is it
I have a relationship with art and I met him relationship with an artist, but I I have a relationship with art. My mother was a painter in semi and know that infused applies back when we grew up in new mexico, where julie from jersey, my routes or in jersey, a right that big made is in the July member member jersey tomato when tomatoes, we're tomatoes, anyways I was growing up in new mexico. My mother would we would fly back as a family and sometimes we build our trips around retrospectives or openings at museums. Also, I had to make my communists aunt and uncle great aunt and uncle who lived over in fort Lee. She was a sculptor and my cousin Jane was a painter and sometimes we'd stay over there. We come to them
but I remember one as a child. I saw the alexander calder retrospective at the whitney and an end, calderon circus called it does the mobiles, and he also does you will find a wire things, will wire people and animals and very simple sort of a primitive, almost child like art, but has a functioning. Murkison. Remember seeing that when I was a child at the whitney and also I saw the saves on retrospective with my mother at the whitney when I was a child and I frequently visited the whitney a different points in my life. I would go therein lies in there calder circus right when he walked into the old whitney in a in a glass case. You could look at the circus and there was a film there that showed the circus in action with little old alexander calder, playing with all the toys that he made, but it was a it's a childhood memory of mine that building. I know that building I've been to that building. I've visited that artwork is frequently throughout my childhood and you do build a relationship with the with pieces.
Barred? If you, if you frequent museums, specially the same museum, if you come to new york, he go to mamma, you go to the whitney. Go. The guggenheim, whatever guggenheim, doesn't have as much of the permanent collection on display in an regular way like mama the whitney worried, there's always some pieces air that especially that are always out you. I can always go see the roth coast I enjoy over there, the pollack, so that you know the decoding whatever it is go visit them out, though, always be there for me timeless hanging timeless on the wall any way so I went to the new whitney was an architectural masterpiece is stunning and they've organized they have this exhibit there now, which I thought was genius. It was just genius it's their first exhibit in need it needs to make an impact Erika is hard to see all from the permanent collection in each floors got a different time. And their organised and sort of different thematic ways,
style around political action or social action or maybe just time, but it was also pretty fuckin amazing. It would just amazing how it was put together and curated and which pieces they chose, and I saw some pieces. I saw call their circus there a glass case a year, but it's in a completely new environment is in a completely modern environment that the old whitney was old whitney. This thing is just stunning: there's all these terraces and you can go outside and there's the the high line which was the old, elevated train which have made gardens and a walk throughout the entire kind of a west side? Over there? It's a yeah by the meatpacking district become very beautiful, but the museum was spectacular and I felt elevated and excited to be there. I got no comedy.
About it. I'm just tell any, I guess my own fucked up way that art is important, that acknowledging a new structure for architectural geniuses, important there's got to be some things that we still register is important and not passive. We ve got to be engaged people. We ve got to be engaged in the painting reckon with the painting, someone wrenched it from their guts and their mind in their vision, reckon with it reckon with the structure. God it's got to continue, meaning something it's got to continue, meaning something. This stand in front of a mark, roscoe painting or picasso painting or giorgio Keith, it's beautiful old ones, all of them they were ripped from that
still people look at the texture. It's got to remain important. We can't lose touch with the art. We can't lose it god, dammit spiritual out, it's beautiful out here in new york. I get one our colleague here I don't know why. There's a type of loneliness is a loneliness and connectivity though I feel simultaneous. I part of me as lived here and have been here at different points in my life- and I feel connected to this city- and I like looking at the old buildings- and I liked that there are so many people and so much going on- but so much of that has nothing to do with me. So that's the only part. The that seems to be a lot going on, and none of it has anything to do with me, though. I'm lonely, but I appreciate the busyness. Oh, my god, yeah getting old, I'm getting old, it's okay Let's talk to curb metzger
you sort of competence that deadline. I'm still a mark that I know from which I make you were like thirty eight or something was I you age. Now, maybe that's right, you! the hair, had all the hare. That's right humanly wolverine, here, yeah, that's right in and we were in. I urge you to write on that show, doesn't which writing job first writing job, which was so tremendous source of aggravation and ongoing resentment by my ex wife, like one you got run on the show. I know why why she's one of the things she said to me: you know after she stopped loving me was like you hired Kurt metzger to write for you and you would you'd get a life. How could you,
if the curb metzger well, why single me out, as the outrage of 'em dano I've since gone on to have brigade credits like yeah? I know, but I mean I don't think she's the first to single you out for outrage. No, I in fact now is very satisfying to because you're that you're fucking targets, I'm a feminist, I kind of a writer now, but I guess the people they don't like me. Don't are unaware of that, but all this shit consumer issue So why do you write for Amy what what exactly happened with knowledge? It won't work in the initial hiring the initial controversial popping up now. Okay, so initially had nothing to do with me yeah it was. It was during the great rape joke wars of two thousand and eleven the typical year when we had to decide if things can be joked about. really only three year say: what's ok with nine eleven and then it was raped, joke yeah. There's a man by the way any region
if I ever had conforms to the fuckin, whatever meetup rules is Debbie blogger. I already made my jokes according, but don't tell me how the fuck to do my job. He is not a sexist thing. Either you follow The rape joke rules, just on my own, whatever their new is inherently. That is not what it highlights its. I wouldn't. I have no conscience by about jokes yokes to me: there's no moral component whatsoever. It regularly funny right and that its own force, because I know for a fact that sometimes something is actually not funny and in fact terribly wrong can be the most hysterical thing in the world in the right context. Sharing that just a fact. Yet so people who don't get funny, you know there's a lot of people. They feel you know punching up in punching down again, but he ain't gonna, try it and it's a very telling thing to say the argue that punching down comedy that's the most latest fuckin that saying there's a caste system and I'm on top of it
I I will not deign to punch downward as people lower than me. I think people are lower than you and you think that makes you more moral right right right so that they have no problem with condescending. Apparently, there's no condescension. I thought we were all equal, so I'm punching straight ahead, but it turns out that I'm supposed to buy into that I'm on top of something here: okay, okay, so anyway, this has nothing to do with me with sam moral sam. He has similar eyebrows to me yeah, so he had this joke that it was how he was having sex a black woman and it made him very uncomfortable because seeing the inward over and over again rise. You know no, ok, very simple! The joke is the misdirect of it. It's not enough.
well yeah. They don't all have morals to them right so fuckin, but okay. This gorilla, whose name I won't mention, wrote a whole fucking thing against sam races whole thing about how outrageous it was. He told this dumb, fucking joke, so I got like jealous that he was getting this kind of attention. Okay, yeah, which are Jim Norton point out three later like. Why would that make you jealous like a stupid, you're jealous I'm like well, I'm offensive where's, my fucking blog about me yeah. So I I contact the sand and we cooked up this thing to say that this I was not a real person we, but we made her up to make a point about free speech and go how they got the woman in la ok. Don't they dig it out. We just did this to make a point about speech, you're going to arrange her. Yet I got a few people to go. Oh my god,
I can say Morell pulled it off and it spread pretty quick yeah and a shockingly quick, I would say, yeah and then people started. May all europeans were making fake profiles of this girl and also the shape and also she was outraged. Okay, yeah. So she goes on my facebook, but I think it's a very jonathan swift ask thing to do just for the record. The satirical intent was there satire punches up at things. I don't like so fucking this. She goes through my whole facebook to objectionable material to get me there, of which there's probably a lot like don't go on my facebook. I would tell people there's no reason to go on it. I don't need you need, like three people on it, two thumbs up my premises that I'm too lazy to finish on my own, without validation, right, okay, the rest of you,
our three parents are shit. A two pound sack unfriend me, so she goes through and makes a collage of everything. I've ever said out of context. In a thing like the time I said, nigger faggot, quoting donald glover from this sketch. I liked that he did yeah. So she put he says the n word for K. Like me, my greaser friends around the street corner, so they she's trying to get me I heard of Amy show as she brought up a thing about. I had spoken, not my girlfriend that you know now, but the girl was with before her. I remember her. The was older than me by like ten years. I think so, maybe matter once ok yeah so I had talked about. I remember how we got into it. But oh I so one time I pinned her eye and I openly admitted to this. I got in a fight with her where she had broken all my she with a hammer and I pinned her to the wall by your throat. We had illegal. I mean you go to jail for that right. Ok, it's not a joke. I turned it as choking, but it wasn't
I was throttling her eye. It was I she was. She was kind of fucked up and if I would come home late, it was like right when I first passed the cellar. So she had this thing of. I can't sleep if you're not home right, which I at my job is to be out late. So she would do these crazy, fucking things to me. If I came home late so one night I come Well, she had taken all my things and just bash him up with a hammer and laid him on the table and laid the hammer. Next stuff went to sleep like an angel, so it was like I flipped out, I was like I'm just gonna, go to bed yeah and then and then what happened was I woke up and I'm working all my shit dude and I fucking she's in the shower, and I pinned her against the wall like that is not good. go to jail for that year. But the point of me telling the story was that that's not justified what should have happened As I should have been a man, I got the fuck out of the relationship a good two or three years before we got to that point.
right because it wasn't overnight that she's breaking my stuff right clear. Should a better there, but I she was paying the rent right. Ok, I had an honest to god. This was my thought process staying and it was. It was so hard getting cable installed in this loft that I was like. I just don't think I could go through that again, I swear to god. I thought that and state in a fucking, crazy relationship for of physical assaults. If we'll keep score. There were way more on me, then thou. Yet Oh yeah yeah. We still witless we're good mean her, we're all forgiven. This is, why I don't understand these people that are mad about what happens when they read it, what she resumes she goes. He admits to a d v which I thought meant w va gentle, but no, it means domestic violence, so she goes and admitted to. violence. What issues are going to do? Is she's tweeting this out gale humour to react to get me fired right because when I was money for I pinners go away from brigitte I go to hell story that I'm here guys. Don't
this thing I did write. This are telling the story to tell people not to get into a thing like that right. So what happened did Schumer respond to whatever fine with that, but I I they got. I had to go comedy central, okay, so the the daily dot there's an article says it's called the disturbing online trail of Kurt metzger with her. Now that there's a momentum against you right, but on the is so right where these twits made a mistake, is nobody who the fuck I am zone can go anywhere? I also amy was going to fire me boy. I did. I was surprised that did you talk to me about it? I told you we follow me. It's not your fault! I mean I didn't. I never dreamed that that would happen where the show is brought into I ain't nonsense. What she say she was going to fire me. I mean she just wouldn't do shit with it, but so, but comedy central, so the daily dot writes this fuckin. I mean it's like a smear, but when you, if you read it when I read I'm like oh, I got a funny like
even doing their best. It's still you're, still good, still, all yeah the jokes still hold so fucking, but I had to have so the girl that wrote the article then writes to me an email. It says I'd like to get your side of this We would you now that you ve, played in this other thing. Now you want my side so calmly, central, I answered all the questions he sent him to her. I descended the common sense, yeah and they were very satisfied with all my responses and then they said, don't respond and I think that the esa, now all these shows your leg, just don't respond these people don't bring show into it all that. But it'll stop pop up here. There may be this fuckin one article ass on wondering when my my trevor one moment will be when I, when you get the big job when the big jobs coming like. Are you aware of his history of problems, but but but fortunate for you it'll all be out there. There's not going to be any history, the hell is it I'm pretty open with this is is the people who who promote the fucking like slam on me? They don't know me, they don't know my fucking work
It it's kind of amazing how quickly all glom on with not knowing any facts about anything I mean like if, if somebody wants to hear the story in greater detail on my podcast race wars, it's a flimsy facts with Tom Rhodes, the episode yeah and I it's thomas grape I am told that story much greater detail on that, and I have explained that a million times so you know I dunno what to tell you. If you give a shit, you can listen that if not, I don't care it's it's its literally nobody's fuckin business that I ice talked about honest enough about to bring up, and now it's like. It's amazing, you see some stranger talking about, like they know any like I'm chris brown. Now I, like you, don't know shit about me or the relationship or what went so like this is europe. This is their your current writings earlier we ass a species, and I gave you might your first writing. Job yeah in nineteen louse, like ours, went for never mind the buzz cox right, and it was
eleven since two thousand and one yeah. It was like right after pretty soon after right, in like it was like I was hosting a game show primarily to make money, just as I was bankrupt. I remember from the first of all yeah I was dating mission, and I was with you when you headed, above that letter to your last payment to your ex. If I really yeah, we want we, u dont jobs than we got fucking tasty the later some after tat is why, whatever pelagic wherever figure is really celebrate, relied blow. My friends my obligation, her he fucking experience of tasty delighted, though even exist anymore. I was when it was all the rage for, while it's like this, no calories is just sugar and with some helpful didn't softer
like a real saturday wrought yeah, it's a pleasure is set at all over for you, you there's a warning for you. Seeing marrying me be this guy. I never want to become that. Well that it was like it's. I see, what's inevitable to become because I remember we are driving somewhere your complaint about somebody, not booking. You ask me. I remember being I was like oh wow. This never gets better cause. I was like oh wow. This guy's gotta show he's got a car it euro. I saw my dogs, cats and, like I was not good for you. Are just like dawned on me like. Oh, it's like that. Never goes away. Yeah you'd moved here from where from Philly, so I only experience so far was watching Kevin Hart like just shoot to the top right. I guess they weren't disappear, and then he shouted the topic.
And remember in a way you went away around soul plane for a minute. Are we talking about like, like you got the deal to do the tv show and then it never happens. Yeah go back to the drawing board cause. I talked about that. While cave I'll tell you what man I gotta give it to him cause. He really was on top of every business the hallways I go into this business was to not do any of the shit you're supposed to do in life right and he's a fucking businessmen obviously yet so I think that's half of his appeal, sort of, like I work he's a winner. Yes, vote with a quote from a crisis he says there, but he wants to be famous, but nobody wants to do. The work is that Jesus Jesus Christ, the nursery insight everybody wants to be famous, nobody wants do the work. It gives a winner, vietnam, intrinsically a loser dealers, and which is my like how I do my I got up like I've, always christian and chris Don't bother? You lose your, I think, you're a guy they get all is it is when you're done illusion for sure
you bringing you soul into this. I know exactly like for maybe so christian grow it up your ass. They like real christianity, is a religion for losers itself. mynors like boy so wake. So you grew up in philly, no and I d jersey, mostly wait in ohio and also in north carolina, open it was a. Why is so your mother and your father married my dad's dead? They got divorced it when I was an adult, but we're Jehovah's witnesses. When did he die when just four started dating Karen, so seven or eight years ago? Not that long ago, yeah, not that long did you have a relationship with him. I was the last one talking to him about my family. He just drank himself to death in a fucking trailer at the edge really yeah. He really got sad alex
Well, look at the end man and, like you like what web brain and everything are, what are just like, distended die. He wanted. I didn't see. I didn't see him when he was like you know, yellow wherever the fuck they found him, but I was still talking to them. He had gotten so dark with my brother and sister that they hadn't they stopped talking to him. There's history yeah and I remember telling my brother, like you, really, should call him because I know what's going on with him, but if he drops dead you're going to feel bad that you did this thing where you're like I'm, not speaking to you and I he fucking am. I remember my brother weeping like when he
I not like, I felt really bad, but didn't make it right. What do you mean make it right? Did he heed your advice and call him he? Never. He never did so. I was less than we talked to him, and but the other thing is my old man who was always my buddy grown up here for the most part more than my mom. She felt bad for himself too much. He really did. He was in this dumb religion that he felt like he gave up making money in life and also their shit, because he was into this religion and my mom just ate him from the inside out like fuckin wasp larva. Basically, so Do you know if he could adjust? He got trained to be like you get married, you never get divorced, you're supposed to have kids you're, not supposed to fuck until you're married all the shit that I'm sure he didn't want to do. I'm sure he never even wanted kids, you know really, but the rules were the rules. What did he do? He was a salesman mostly, but he initially as electrician and he start getting better and better jobs and he was a salesman for awhile. Well, how did they come to this?
imagine that's not one you're that you're born into it's when you get roped into right, I'm born into it. My dad's dad was a world war, two airplane engineer, yeah and when my dad was twelve, my my grandpa, his dad converted and then my mom converted at eighteen, because she was a disillusioned catholic. My grandmother killed herself, my mom's mom in a pretty fucked up way, really kind of fucked up way and a way she cut her own throat. This is the story I heard by the way getting the full story of this. I had to piece it together because my mom and my aunts, I never tell you tell me this shit, yeah they'll just be like, but apparently someone owns like twelve, my grandmother cut her own throat in the kitchen, so my mom comes home from school, Her bombs go in there, just a pool of blood in the kitchen which she and her sister had to clean up and then I think my grandfather just Mary, this other woman and felt like a good guy cause. You got the kids a new mom or some shit,
you know some miserable fucking, fifty sixty shit here and I and fuckin like I so hope she was a catholic and it didn't help her through that right. That way, right, and so she found job's witnesses, which I think really kind of status. I'd whatever need she had. What needs those? How did they just held it out and understand what they do like in terms? thousand was thousands and too abstract or too vague, too complicated, or probably that probably finding the relief from going into the booth I probably all that help you could waste before the guy behind the screen is not helping me. The wizard is not helping me. This is a glory hole. Forgiveness is not helping me here yeah. I think she wanted the more personal, as the protestant god over the you know of the ethnic pagan right, fuckin thing: that's you, doing so. She isn't Jehovah's witnesses like it that no dancing troop, no, no, no, that's that's footloose
only once the footloose church that you no jobs, this is like it's an it's actually used to be no holidays war, mum, not most of them right, the ones that are considered pagan, which would be like christmas. Ok, but you can turn you can dance you can be as long as its modest, not such might straight. Also yeah. It's like you know, which is like a bible but you know they have their own peculiarity like we do believe in an immortal soul, for example, they ably we believe in a resurrection, ok like at the end times or whatever that people will be rate brought back to life, and you live in the in the garden of Eden. Again they have a show that depicts had now. What is it walking dead yet well yeah. I guess grace, wasn't really a zombie until his thirties right right, so fucking yeah, so she's in his religion. That was a great source of comfort,
yeah to me it wasn't: I mean I've grown up in it. I did believe it and they met in the religion. Somehow yeah my dad was an elder in the church, though there's a there's rankings right cause. I was a minister everyone's, a minister who gets baptized, which I believe is to keep you out of military as it shows. Why can't you can't we don't involved in politics right which I agree with and every fuckin charge you do that, and I couldn't you in a military which also your christian. You can't be in the fucking military out and what people think that you cannot fight for a kind We you serve gaudy server country right, so there's no circumstances where you can go like in Iraq. Let's say: yeah. There's christians in Iraq that probably got blown up all were killed me right, able there's no way. You're gonna go to god and go had got bomb a couple christians but you always for america's liberty. I got what you think, god going to call it that I entirely people do, but that's not what it says. Sorry I agree.
Those things I hardly agree with you know, but so your minister, when do you become a minister when you target fourteen or twelve or like officially, when I got baptized, but I you know maybe before that cause. I had a draft card like a deferral right. A minister deferral right, so it was primarily that was their plan. This was a way to get all our members to avoid military, sir, you can't champion military, which I am glad I You know right, although I would go do u s own harpy and I fuckin euro being, when at you I hope the guy's lou we're both net but the, but the ideas also, Yes, they make everyone administer specifically to give you a little more incentive when you're out there saving people. Well, yes, but it's not just that it's it's cause the ranking. You know you're not supposed to give a shit about that you're christian! You must be humble, so you're not supposed to get off on that, What is, is everyone gets educated as opposed to catholicism, There's a clergy in a lady riah, yet it's kind of a medieval set up, there's more. protestant thing where we all read the bible. So ever
but you know I read the bible a lot like probably about twenty times over the course of the year, if you were in yeah yeah very much, I didn't do anything till I was like twenty one of like fuckin or getting high or any of that really yeah. So like from the from the get go like. You were active in the church socialized to charge must be your friend. I remind the ebony, those friends anymore. You know my best friend growing up just recently got back in touch with me. Who's still in, and I haven't called him on the phone yet while I I'll see what happens, but is it like he did. It feel like a cult, no not at all, just like a religion, but see here's the thing that when they talk about and scientology the disconnection beer is called this fellow shipping Jehovah's witnesses. So all my best is growing up that stayed in. I don't speak to them right now, I'm an apostate. I think I I you know which is or maybe you just moved on. Well, I and ass, pretty fuckin, easy and move on, but a lot of people. I mean our very damage by it, thing where you're, like a group without and all these groups do this, they
They make it your whole life, the as your whole life. If you ever leave, would you gonna have you know and there's there, sir greece that are less sinister than others like, but but Jehovah's witnesses at least. Did that decline thing to me a little it you know, yeah were like now, I gotta be out in the world and how the fuck do I survive. While I find a hoary girlfriend who makes more money than me and she takes care of me until I figure out how to be an adult and that's how I did it, I mean seriously. That's what I do. I dated like, like a whore with a heart of gold type yeah who liked my like foster kid energy. You like, like I like working girl like I, would always get like girls that had like process. Who did would fuck me by I'd, be like the guy they liked. If you know why we're both runaways yeah. You know like that kind of feeling I had that, come off me, which I've I've considerably lost as crime and shit accumulates army, but at the time I was
You know like that was attractive to a certain type. You know a fucking filth up old, fucking pig but yeah like it it it. You know, I didn't consider it culti, but it did it's damage. You, know right, but so but went when you were so in your memory. Your father was always drinking. Your parents are always unhappy or why my parents, always in her I dont mean my father being damaging alcoholic. I remember my mother accusing him of that. I remember him being a big martyr and kind of like workers. Alcohol then look what you know and right and it getting more and really they should have got a fucking divorce right and they thought they were staying together for the kids. So if anybody out there is doing that just fucking don't we stay together for cable yeah lizard, I didn't say I was smarter because I sure, as shit didn't say that not only guys do that girl for cable. I got her pregnant okay and I beg her to have the baby? I got on my knees and begged her to have the babe life, because I'm a fucking idiot, god, bless her she'd fuckin aborted god,
her little people say like imagine if I'd had? No, I can't Imagine if we didn't have that abortion, what my fucking life would be white. What would what, in your mind, wanted the baby? Do you remember my dad on the phone hear about usually when I told about it until my mom? I would like to tell her now because my mom was always big on me going down with whoever has withdrawn or more she around now, and yet my mom very close with there but my old man he talk to me about it and then jails talking to about garrison. A bless, his white trash all big j he's cut. Colombian white trash doors will call a jays like you know, if you have the baby you fucking deal is a real homer. Simpson simpson Who does what and where you know billions. Have they convinced me so she we had some sensitive head and didn't have a baby. Because I knew we were murdered each other. If we stay together has been, is ass, we're very cool mail, but together we were not cool. It was just like guys are right. You laugh about the throwing
throttling the shower and sky. Before can turn are now. To be honest, we that's why, people mad about em? Like you fucking know us associate, so don't get upset right, but that's it. But that's also the interesting point about punching up and punching down and people projecting you're pathetic. judging other people's relationships or psychoanalyze, assuming that that person's victim and had no play in it or that you may be if she doesn't see her victim this that maybe she needs help asia as opposed to sort of liking, a mind, your own business stewed. Are we gonna fight a tumor about woody and soon you are the biggest fights which, by the way, the writers are killer, writers like they're all obviously, I was on the show whose on staff, it was me just klein, Amy, her sister kyle done again christine angle, tammy savior, holly. I remember how these last name grace fuckin with greece last name, damn power, a missing o junk laser rode on the season they seized, and these are all this. The current com
yeah and amy smart man? She gets like out well really on the male presence of the room. That's my entire purpose, the worst possible male presence. Well, just email presence could guess what this and I'm not the only guy in the room. Yet I'm the only male presence. I promise you that the rest of my just, like we'll go when you should write whenever digging thing. You're, like the dark, dick presents dude. With the worst they do in the world, while as it's it's not even in its wake, So gentle I mean just a comic just as a stand up com when you ran, like you, see, be people via or people who I dont there very talented, I'm not like road, we usually, but let's face it, are probably the best examples of of male energy right a lot of milady corner where malaria got real casey, great writer, Jeremy bylaws, either at you'll casey wrote this great sketch milady about these clinging
eyes that you never let me know never engaging and fought, but they get mad at you like. What are you gonna fuck me? Why you're here and he spectrum experience of no one, those fucking guys so anyway, it's the sea, the feeling. Whatever a woman would feel working with all men, he totally get it. I totally get how you would feel. As a woman, I cause it's like it's not that something bad's happening to you. It's like you feel Should I see something I do want to be the uncool one. You are totally get if you're going to as a woman. I that's why I went through right right, so is kind of good for me, I feel like to go through that you know get out a perspective on it, but what was as soon year so there were in a fight because we had decide who's a fucking. Officially, you know rapist for I came or what we're working on right, but the thing woody allen is here's my simple position that inferior everyone- sudanese fuckin forty now so if he really had brainwashing kidnapped there, I'm sure by now she
figure out what she wants to do so she's a forty year old woman. Now you talk about projecting, like she's a victim and blah she's, forty she's, a mentally they're still together, they must have a beautiful relationship deny me like, but there is the argument that, like what what's different between that and in the Jehovah's witnesses or or stockholm syndrome or whatever, even patty Hearst I got by now. Even party Fuckin hearst relay is that our ronald to freeze rape, thereby this point right right She didn't want rob those banks like sheep, big forty was ended. You're, like yelling at me like well, we you're in a thing like that they put em like twenty. I go. I'm outta here forty cavan fathom being somewhere. I dont want to be so anyway. I was like an impassioned fight during media and that's good have those active debates it is good
and that's why I really appreciate about her because it's it's like she wants your voice. You know she wants my voice and she wants their voices and if we clash whatever it's worth it, but that's also the way a dead democratic environment is two. She really and I give it to a may hunches, especially this easy we're getting a lot of like heat for, like various like messi g sketches yeah. The reason those are fine with me cause, I think, a lot more funny. You know, and so like we had this one for kind of heat, although all the same blogs or want me fired, quote my fucking lines to talk about how feminist amazing Joe is. That's me writing that guy's. So
now that we know you're a fan of me. Maybe you could shut the fuck up, though, since you are my biggest fans anyway, so like the there's one called football town nights right right, which christine angles sketch, which is a really funny sketch to me, and, like I said I just don't, want to be preached at. I have a feminine I'm a feminist yeah. I, like that's fine as long as it's not just preaching, make a joke and guys will eat it up and women. We get an even male female, viewership yeah because of that yeah. So so I remember calling Amy cause. I was like listening at the into the sky. It was like it was about Hela joshua, charles, is a is the new coach in town. You know like friday, night lights and he has things a little different than new he's gonna have a no huddle offence. and no raping and they're all like what do you mean no rapidly? It throws the town in an uproar okay, which I thought was a funny sketch, but that has the potential to be very hammy ham. Fisted. You know
it has the potential by, but so at the end there is going to be this fuckin statistic, like and then they went on we're old college, where only one in three rapes has ever pross. I got just cut. That's that statistic please. I called her. I might listen just we don't hafta. So some, wrote this stupid article about how Amy is like the mom who bakes carrots into the brownies for the kids, when she's, making feminist brown easier, like listen, just make brownies moms who put it's in the brownies accounts. You don't do that. Ok, that sucks, don't listen, he's dumb fuck bloggers than what the fuck are. You talking about you're funny be funny, because the point is already coming across strong through the joke right. You know we are not, and then I thought it was gonna go back in and then you know what you fucking listen. She took the fuck out as good. She did because than the ones I like there's a couple things were you. My girlfriends, like really like it. The now yeah
in the bell, yeah- and luckily the jokes are very odd to me- are- are good where it makes up for that decline. Real smart, you mean you got was like smart. yeah jesse fixes a lot of my sketches, which are worth our bury, went to opium seriously fixed by shooting us by how throwing it out I had when she tears behalf, but like this boy band song that that hit kind of big girl, you don't need makeup right right. So I pitched this song called girl. You don't need makeup. My original pitch was cause. I I was where my facebook posts, which was a you know like there's just the talky part of the song, where it's like, hey girl, like I don't care like, I only care about your tits, basically like her, even though you had a head until fairly recently, I just looked up as a damn girl that the face, so I pitched that yeah, ok, so they're all laughing
and in jesse pitches. Ok! Well, what? If it's just you don't make up? She takes her, make up off. Then they start walking back immediately when they see it with no make up right. So then that's the version. We did because sdn put it version was insane right which figures, but in their world that's insane, but I would say right so so then we wrote like that, and it's like a viral fuckin survey. Yeah like it feels like a boy Some do kyle done again arranged the music and his body. Something roach. Cambridge aim is great that we save us all. well now you hit now this success, you stand up good and, like I've, always thought your great joke writer anyway, and obviously you know that that is what you do for a living. But out when you are in philly, knowing the middle. This said job as witness night. read the bible have mapped out about that. You now
in believing it, and that was your life and I wasn't in Philly philly's when I broke out. Okay, you were in when I left the group, the communal reinforcement, that's when I broke out and by the way, this the shit bugs me about a lot like especially the blogger shit is how much I am obsessed with being forced into organise, relate and like group thought, because I had it on me for awhile, okay- and I had this thing on me, especially in christianity or in our brand of it. If you had a problem with something, you could never be a stumbling block to your brother to their salvation right. So let's say you go well that and quite right would it that mean. Well. Let's say they tell you, dinosaurs raw noah's, ark right, yeah and you go. I think, that's probably crap here, but if you so that at last you might stumble your less smart brother, it might shake his faith, but you gotta keep your mouth shut, the same logic out of it. Absolutely why bring logic into right? Ok, so we ve got this beach ball. We gotta keep in the air no matter. What and that's your fuckin duty
so I took it right and I got a real resentment of that and when I notice is saint, could I think I'm a liberal dude? you seen conall lefty Carta people have the exact same fuckin like Dont stumble anyone out of being progressive. Potentially the atom of politics are most the most important thing. I make a decision to laugh. Laugh, having all laugh one day I filtered through my under studies class and I Can we allow the issue? This shit is not a gender argument. It's your fuckin! Twenty, gotta college bit. You gotta get person, ages and before we even get deny sexism, you haven't even earned the right from you be sexist against you right cause, you're fucking, twenty, you know those jet so just just to have it but who used the word mansplain right well there's a man, man splaining, then it had seemed person. Have the balls to then mansplain to me a professional. How to do my job. I mean
they don't see the irony in that at all. If, if you ve ever used the term problematic ever you, I know you're not funny, there's not a single funny human being, who understands funny who's ever here's why this is problematic, because a funny person would seek out automatic cause. That's very forty one sunday problem by my what you have as you have those people that judge you know an end and in fight what they think is a good fight. drain the humor out of everything and make everybody overly polite and myself I wish I could laugh at that bit by bit by bit, but on the other side, it's like resume this realization, where we have people that are like what I'm going to say the word training, no matter what no matter what and in my mind, it's like that's the fight. You have your words of gun at you what style for whatever reason and is so if you want to fight that hard at that really infringing rising on your frida. Notwithstanding
and say why will you just conveying our guys, you say that and then you ok, so that's fine, so in the middle of that you're right, you're, right, that's where the world do it? Well, you know it's funny man. I have no problem, so my group is not the fuck insensitivity in shipping to me. I think that makes me better that I have to now take when I want to say in figure how to get it across to people. Who are like. Well now we don't like the horse nap, judging and in the new york yeah, I my hope, but my entire since humours, to get you to laugh at something that you know you shouldn't be laughing at, so whatever make it hard for me. That makes me better. I like that. I have no problem with that. When I dont get, is why the consequences so you're going to have to hail guys, say training. That's a the consequence, yeah the unfair consequences. He should be fired right member a long time ago when, in fact, I think you- and we were talking about censorship when w was in. Maybe when the dixie chicks thing grinds, and I was like well, that's just a business decision and you told me like no that's the way they censor now
go it's a business decision. You, you got a term you around on that and you're fucking right. It's way to get around you having freedom. We find little shitty ways so resolute action when the dixie chicks go fuck with. I thought that was pretty sure. I don't think that You have be run out of town because they dared criticized bush on foreign soil right right right. So why is it cool to do that to other people? Now I don't. I don't get it what's that guy Jon ronson just wrote that book about public, shaming and how easy it is to destroy someone's wife of writing that could easily that may have been misunderstood and I think you're right, I think, provoking and pushing buttons. I mean we can't be that you now. I understand it's hard being, as a minority. It's hard to have a voice when you're there's there. You know there is there. There are. There are issues that exists yeah, but but there still has to be the human interaction and negotiate
and the ability to sort of like I've made would take ourselves too. Here's one thing you could start doing is because I hear this as a complaint, especially the white privilege, bullshit list, I am not as a white privilege on not asked to speak for my entire race, all the time right right, a complaint in the same breath I go on fuckin salon and someone is speaking for their entire race or there engender. I am offended my entire race, and this is my view and we all ariel. I hate fucking self appointed king and you don't speak for all the brown people and all the women. So that's, my only gripe is, if you don't like some shit. First of all, tell me I suck you probably have a fair point whatever Don't tell me that it's all women are behind. You continue with that, but it could in my mind, that's generalizing, just like a fuckin, racist or second course, but when it suits when it suits you. If you Listen, it's a religion like any other being full far left, and so this, though I watched the same little policies that remind dumb church and drives me up a fuckin wall, big like like, if o this lasting,
we and I like Larry Wilmore to please me all day, but the last night, their talk about in Texas that stupid draw mohammed thing where that he has some guy should issue We got shot down here. Larry Wilmore said something about oh yeah cause. You want to make a bullshit point about free speech. Well, I agree it should be a bullshit point, but the fact that two guys show up to shoot it up means it's not a bullshit point. It means it's a real point. it's very stupid we're can draw Mohammed just to be mean that socks someone's gonna shoot, you forgot, will keep doing it because obviously there's a fucking problem and that's weird, because you're right, because the fear manifests itself in in a strange way, is that it's tricky, because what you say is like your idea. I have free speech. But you know why push it? Look it I'll be the one who can. I do think like that right. I think about every fucking thing. In fact, on my facebook, by the way I don't put anything, I don't think I can defend right. That's my whole thing called upon at the tribunal. I won't say anything: I have a mic. Can I defend this
before I put it up. So that's the main thing I do my because that is the way you gauge shut out again. That is it. and that is a practical self censoring mode of operation, and I wouldn't even call it censorship. It's just I know it's not censorship, because at one when it comes down to it, you know you don't want to be put in a position where you do you're only recourse is too sniffle and apologize exactly yet because, like that, yet that went when people make these arguments about like em. You are what you think about these kind of jokes and my look. Anyone can say whatever they want. Do they just gonna have to answer to it exactly and so that that muslim thing that argument about the free speech there not looking at it in the terms of what's ferris, fair, all their looking? It is as well. Islam is a brown thing and therefore a hands off, which is probably the most racist thing. Is it's it's a religion. It's not a race right, though you're charlie, hebdo racist. How is it racist? That's a religion,
that everyone can be a member of cats. Stevens is not bound, ok do more harm, they didn't draw. You didn't go. This is what I look knows looks like maybe she printout shirts cats Stevens is not brown. So to label or racist is very telling because in their her I think they know what you know you possess sensitivity. You claim did not have a conscience. But u way this shit out and I do well saying, is not only an alien overcoat. I've put right, but I think that that's that's an important element of this is that there is a sensitive. It is due to the issues. Of course, As our committee is a very sensitive, they asked why we joke that way. There's people ward funny, don't get to make a joke about rape or any horrible thing. But you know when it hurt somebody feeling never fucking say a thing away. If some that's what I that's what I meant to say that, like there is an hour, there has to be an element of decency
I mean like glass, like with the word training as a good example, because I will say it anymore, because you know it's a canopy fucking mighty can't be easy for people who are true. Listening for you know anybody in it for that minority in those people that are making these bolt choices of whatever you think about it. What what am I gonna hurt that person for fine idea? I would be nice about and by the way, if I see something that hurt someone speedily single, he heard that really hurt my feelings I got no problem apologizing. Please tell me if I did that however, that's not what they do, they're not hurt. They go on being of these people, I'm imagining
I am offended and so go fuck yourself. It's not genuine yeah you're trying to make political hay to make a like be a little barnacle on my ship that wasn't famous in the fucking first place right. So so wait. Let's go back to what was the moment where now you brother and sister, they in the church anymore now and gone just my mom's still. Yes, she can't let it go on a one or two yeah I mean I, I would hate for her to let it go for one thing: that's gonna meet a lot more hang out time for me in her. If they're the churches pick up a lot of that slack right now of being heard, listening to her stories. You know right now, a week you called me with her orders of nonsense of his head. Was the soup I'm gonna go some two dollar bills like just mom nonsense, and they pick up at least seventy five percent. That's, why does have the benefit of gorgeous? But when
what was the moment where you like, em out pussy out. What was the policy on pussy be gotta? Be married? Oh no sex! You know the action policy would end, but but but it did it build from that point where I'm over simpler it started with. I was working with the set with the with the thing where it's like. You can't tell the guy that that dinosaurs aren't on the right and, and so that always bugged me a little bit cause I'm arrogant that the thing that saved me from all this shit and just carries me through life or none at no good quality. I have only my worst quality, so any arrogance that saved me from a colt yeah my laziness, my fishing has saved me from being in a bad marriage. Yeah all my bad quality. Save me so what happened was already had that quality of arrogance, okay and then I started reading a skeptic magazine, because I was working at the ways and there's a barnes and noble on my lunch break. I would look for magazines and so what city we in this in jersey in yeah into a toms river. So I put- I had picked up this book about your foes at that.
Why am I kind of believed in that shit right and I didn't realize that you're believing in dinosaurs on the ark came by the way believers believe everything yeah. They believe a little bit and everything? That's the fucking really telling thing. They also probably believe in. U f, o's right, ask them to square it, they won't, but they it's funny. You know those nigerian internet scams who falls for that. Go who What bolsters christians? That's? Why they go, god bless and hello. I am mister! God bless! You! Jesus loves us jones. Can you you do and they go? Oh, a christian yeah! That's who get suckered yeah yeah so because you're taught to do that. You're reading skeptic magazine spread of our weakness. You have one thing and it was like it was like real obvious shit. Like you know, member, like Roswell, the the material of the? U F, o. broken by any physical means yeah and it's real, simple like well, then how did he break into a million pieces just because lightning hit it? Oh okay, I didn't think of that right and it got my mind in that way and I started picking up these magazines that were like skeptic shit and I story, and it was like
is randy kind of shit yeah and I got really into it and when I met you you're like in it right and that really started chip away at my entire, and I realized that fucking thing of like it's, not what you think it's how you think to become a big believer in yeah. So that's what it is and then so then, once then the final straw was like pussy or somebody did you write that? Did you ever think publicly thank skeptic magazine for, I think pussy ever I have fucking openly. Think that I know I you know. I think I met penn and teller a couple of times and told them that I never met James randi yeah Michael Shermer, I believe, was the publisher yeah. He wrote that good book why people believe weird things yeah, which is pretty great. It's just how your brain. You know believes this fucking horse shit that, but I don't think I could get suckered. I think you gave me some skeptic magazines I might have to you know cause I'm watching seinfeld. I got obsessed with scientology in that right document. I keep going to
anthology whole. You know yeah, I'm just fascinated or even on this Jim jones thing. I was watching the day where they're interviewing a former member of Jones and and they always make it seem like it could happen to anybody. No, it can't don't act like we all could fall for that shit as soon as you said, he's a commie and a christian I'm out when he got suckered by that you had a fucking weakness, yeah I was born into it. So that's my excuse right, but these people that go into I'm like what the fuck is wrong with you air. But you know what it's hitler or that you come to someone in their weakest moment right right and give them their what people are also vulnerable. If they've been he he, you know it. It's fortunate- and I guess in america that people are are kind of compelled and and sold on the idea that they're, not whole or complete or or and and and in capitalism, is just sort of like well. You need to buy some burgers, some perfect, not just that. You can reinvent
yourself in capitalism and you can break away from your family and cut. It. Is a system built on mining, people's weakness and desires right and then you're supposed like em? What years must learn how to do it yourself to make some money is helpful, Maybe now you can learn how to my fine p. His desires and shit, but that but the fucking like the way. I judge that all the religious shit now all religion- I go one. How much does it cost? That's my number when people go through well how much it cost me okay to do. I does god do his own killing or do I have to do it? He, okay and then three. Am I obligated to stay in this religion
more for my mom or my dad. If it's for your mom, you probably won't be murdered when you leave we're okay, if it's for your dad's honor, that's a little primitive you gotta catch up to the other religions see you know because he's shit about the up, it was a provocation against some yeah. So what piss Christ was kind of a provocation right, the guy still alive he he he gets death threats. You know get send a nice death threat. You don't have to actually follow through. Do the american way just send the threat via twitter, and sit on your fat ass and that that's juliet bargain you down to that guy. We just do it that we have to be a plan of action yea it. So when did you start doing comedy in college at or institute and fairly,
I was always doing art institute yeah. I would have been like okay, so you're in fucking, new jersey and you're like alright. I am going to fuck and I'm going to do. No, not till I got to college. I bet you, but you were out when you went to college. You know I was still in when I went and I went with with a couple of other friends who were also in the same religion. So it was like okay cause we're all going together right and we are going to watch out for each other to stay in the faith and then one by one. We all got out yeah just sniff, that person fucking, so this girl basically like fuckin, I guess by today's day it'd be considered a rape, but that that was pretty awesome over to do that. You don't like a coercion into what you do just jumped on me and made me do stuff like I was like a fucking virgin, yeah nervous, religious guy girl and the tail christ right at the beginning. Your crushing guilt that I felt afterwards add ah, was unbelievable. Really, I'm thinking of the lies. I'm gonna have to tell
well, the way kind of. Why believed MIKE tyson in that in that member mike tyson thing is crazy? How many bombs are you going to drop that I gotta answer to where you're going to have to answer big for this one, but I'll just tell you. This is not about gender. It's a religious thing that that girl was a preacher's kid. Who is a model right? Yet let me tell you some there's no bigger liar on the face of the planet than a sexy, a preacher's kid like a religious, hot kid. Those are the biggest liars because they fuck early and their social standing depends on them being moral. So when I was in church all like the hot kids rich get, they are all doing all this shit they were exposed to and they gave off the appearance of so making up a lie, because I think people Don'T- and I dont certainly don't believe most red victims are liars.
some nonsense like that. But if you are going to be a liar, chances are its cause. You're, religious and you gotta protect your religious honour where and when people think it doesn't happen. It's because they're, probably their brain works correctly, and they can't fathom why some would tell a lie like that. Will. The reason is because you have the shire yeah and end. The thing was shaman because you hear a lot now about shaming, exact, shaming and sludge, all that fuckin shaming. If you don't already feel shame, no one can shame you. So, like hay, cart your piece of shit, so and that dream ended, see how simple that is, and that's all you gotta do So you don't know you at saint way. Maybe she lied and in your argument, is that make it last year me why so yeah? Why would have lied? We would have salute me. I felt guilty all my I I was thinking about my lies of how many get out of this they're gonna know
god's gonna know no matter. What did you will even be idle? Oh, he did, but you don't believe in god. Now I don't know what I believe. Maybe I don't know interesting. so eh, I dunno. I would maybe god I don't fucking know. I just don't believe the book of genesis. Sure, okay- and I don't I you know- I don't believe the bible- I guess- is his okay It is so bizarre what you, what you are reacting to is really just a structure of the church and and what was required of you. So the shame was not like god. He is never going to forgive me but like how the fuck am I going to be part. This organization, you I'd, want to hide the hassle, and I ended up having to do a fake, repentance thinkest because del fino. jessica, who you knew when I first met you, so she was going to convert to make my mom happy and I was like no don't do that. I'm just I'll just leave and never talked to my mom again. It's funny that was my joke about, like you know, if you're gay come out of the closet like cause, my whole family has stopped. Talking to me like I was gay yeah like fornicating heterosexual is as bad as being
in the bible right, like you, know, christians, making out like gays worse, it's the fornicating out of marriage. Yes, the same level of saint hetero, wargame yeah right, so my family was going to stop. Speaking to me like how you hear about gay teens right, yeah- and I gotta say it was not hard because, if you're into it, pussy is so much better than your family. It's not a difficult choice. Oh, that's all you gotta do not speak to you assholes again, his flock. Ok, that's your punishment, not my stupid! So so, like you know People like others there why people there's no like teaching people come from
enough strength at all anymore. It's just like this fuckin, I'm responsible for your suicide which, by the end- and I had a lot of that, my family. So I have a very dim view of of that suicides. My old man would threatened suicide that that shitty little hostage taking where you're going to kill yourself because you're upset is the shittiest thing duty of fuckin family. My dad did all time to eye in and it's mental illness a big part of it. You know yeah, so I mean it's not like it's necessarily your fault, but it it enrages me having someone do that to me cause I just had to deal with so much of it. You know, and I this thing like when you saw that don't say tranny of course, don't say tranny, but the idea that like unless I say you were never a man, it's your life like your life, is in my hands. You will see your suicides on you pal, that's not on me, yeah! That's why it's called suicide, not homicide, because that's the one thing that's what's so great about suicide, you control it.
That's the appeal, the I decide you know ear so show that's that's a little shitty thing now, where it's like the threat of it. It's like blazing Additives are we dealing with please somebody help at poor man. I'll kill, em now kill this homer here and there and they do and like like I'm, not playing a fucking game, but I've actually purse. I headed talk is gay canada, suicide of my facebook, some phantom mine who fucking is it wasn't thing about him being gay, but he said some stupid of me on my legs, but my fears, the worst and it so he said sancho women on my facebook that I that I was like flippant about yet and then I notice on his page. You put my favorite comedian, hates me and I just I don't think it's worth going through anything at something like so I'm like dude. What does that mean like? What are you getting at with that
and I know not the man. I was just depressed nothin, then, the next day he writes how he was about to kill himself and because then I talked to him. He felt better and then we talked it out and it turned out. He had come out of the closet to his family. His father told him that they're getting a divorce because he's gay and then like, took his dog away because faggots can't have dogs or something like that. Someone abusive shit yeah and I go look man like you really like. If your father did you fuck him like fuck them? What do you like? If, if your dad's like that- and they won't speak to you, he just did you a favor leaving your life like? Don't put the power in his hands like that, like like it's in your fucking hands like you're worth whatever your life's worth more than some you have in america the whole point of america? Is you don't have to give a fuck what your parents think that's the beauty of this compared to the east. You know alright, so you got your first pussy year and he felt bad about it. It was a good beater,
if you work in any work through it. Ah yeah the girl just kind of broke, my heart, which was good, and I ended up with something like. How did you deal with the shame? I ah squashed it down and I just felt it horribly and then I would imagine the terrible consequent once I once I squished that down. Then I have to think about the aids. I'm surely going to get short as punishment right because they tell you stories that this person didn't do what they're supposed to and there's only sad stories of how I didn't follow the way and then all this awful shit that befell me. You know like a chain letter story of people who broke out but like how did you leave the church? I just fuckin stop going and tell them anything my mother wanted me to like write them. A letter like I don't know them an explanation. Mother ever got cut you out for a couple months, but though she can't leave her kids right and you'd in your dad just sort of drifted away when I got this fellowship for being drunk at some point
and then he when he did and when did their marriage fall apart. Once I was out, I was in college and I finally kind of fell apart and then he just went where he just went away to florida with a oh, that's always a bad sign, yup yup, and so I visit him a little. I mean look. I got to see him before he went and I was still cool my you know. I just wish that he that that he didn't do what he wanted in life and as result it it. He killed himself and the lesson I got in life was because my old man be like listen. You gotta fucking, get a job that you don't basically told me. I gotta get a job I don't like. So I can get married to a woman want to have sex yeah gotta be married for that yeah. It goes then she's going to want kids yeah, so you're going to have to have people support him and he basically without knowing it, was like get out soon. for me, go like that. That's the message he delivered to me right now, so I appreciate it. I got out when you become a comic when I was in college, doing poetry. Reading
guess. I would be a real fruit. Both fucking alternative comic, if not for starting out in black comedy rooms, right which just beat the bullshit at utterly god bless them with ye. God bless black people if you're beating the fuck in nonsense out of me. You know I'd be a guy you'd be yelling at work. use the yellow. I maybe you ve screaming at a wily to meet you, but you were screaming Long time ago I was the funniest thing I ever saw because he had his long skateboard year and I don't know if he had like a fucking kaleidoscope. He was looking through but I wonder why don't you be a man? You know what provoked other than his appearance. Making me laugh. I like you, couldn't be cute. If you try to Egypt it I can't be. I was really drawing dear. It won't work with the eu, J we're running around cabin heart yeah?
in jail. But I was like js on funny friend really when we started. They didn't really get me so much. They actually know what the blackhawks, who are funny that would come through. They all were like immediately called me. It was all like the the entrenched hacks that would be like addicting me, but you for some reason. You just found yourself working black rooms in philly. That's the only club. There was right if you wanted an audience right. If you wanted to do jokes for some bitter old local comics, you could do the open mic comedy cabaret and in what you earn by doing those rooms, how many, how to not be precious rmk, had it not be which in art school. I had a good illustration teacher taught me how to not be precious. What were you studying an article or animation? Okay, but I was an illustrator. I was like you know, comic books and shit and he wrote poetry and I and but they were like funny. You know when, like right, I guess with Jeff Ross used to do out to some degree, but I was a little more elaborate right and a little more spoken word. He as lie spoken like you, are sweet sensitive.
guy one time yeah, and so so I you know so when I went to do these black rims, it was like they don't want to hear you fuckin white bullshit, yet at you know, yeah, which I I mean really just snapped me out of. Oh, I didn't realize like how much like whatever bougie kinda added but I have weak. Irony really is like a week, I'm a big fan of TIM Heidegger right behind the guy, I met him one time and I knew if I told him I like his work, he is going to look at me like a bug. Okay, I can already see he's that guy yeah, but I did whatever I like so I say what I feel great. Of course he looks at me like yeah alright dude, but that fucking little attitude where it's like, I love their shit, those guys yeah but half of it. I find like great. The other half is just shit jokes and let's not pretend that it's more genius of a shit. It, that's the most amazing thing is the alternative reinventing a thing. what he been there, but you pointed out to me how much these guys we're just do an old, Steve Morton.
Without even realize, like there's? No sense of any of this has been done before and they trot out I mean I really appreciate the work the best he's been done before that really hasn't been done? It still difficult for people who sent you watch maria ban, produce a fuckin gene yeah she's great, oh, by the way I realized tat. I met her that that's her, that following she's not doing a character now I urge you re always while some people still I could she truly unique and people right now. I don't know what to do with her and she's got people that lover, but to stop. The works best in alternative has been over and over again I know should I always like any pepper tone. He always dead son and I ve never one every regional yeah I like, Citizens should have, as I didn't like just either one or two things I love you, I mean because its
is, was where he yells and cries at the same time, almost where he's like, I get there yeah it's worth it to me, like all. Let him build up whatever bullshit just to get to the part that I think is like really like, creative and genius. You know so there's a few people like the real deal and then there's all those knock offs yeah and that's how and that's the main thing I learned from the black room that is not really measurably different from the white room. Other then why people are more afraid of it, but also you ve gotta work and have guided the river you can't fuck around there's. No one got it all during this. That's sort of like half baked garbage that you, you can't be a batalha comic, is Jay calls them, which is this? but I I so why? Because a bit, I accompanied it how much of that he did. So I single now Ah so why some therapists by go tell the joke. I never met my way outside the writer, english. Humor is how I know I'm like the lowest class member of the yeah, I'm the only one.
whose doesn't have a therapy story. I've. Never in so many people being therapy who, burned alive, combat in all my life, What did you see? How boning told a story about a therapist has to hold a pen because he falls asleep all kyle's talking and the pen like he picks up to wake him up like few therapist has fallen asleep. I got great news, you done well you paying for your therapist can't stay awake. You got no reason to pay this money. Here's where I gotta tell you cause I gotta I gotta wrap up. I think you got a lot accomplished yeah. yeah I swear guy. I miss you saying shit like that to me all the time, as my favorite shit is that it's all gonna work out. It's like the it fucking is
oh humor is my favorite thing of all time. He says to me was a weird when it was around when Curtin courtney that documentary or that new ones on us to share that mike, like do you think she had him killed and women don't have to kill. Men Such a great point, not happened. It's gonna happen anyway, wonder what she's like. Oh, I remember what I was going to say. First of all, like I don't your souls not a loser. I'd say it seems, like your soul is, is a you know, fighting actually fighting the good fight and gauging and in what is right in a loser, does well
what a loser does not a minor, but what is unwanted? I'm I like it, but I'm not like. Oh I, my head like head a winner, and I don't I that in any bitterness like I, I give it to it every single thing that you know you I mean he did every fucking decision. He should do right. You know he fucking was the one who got his ass out of fully before any of us. He has said that every but mass people can mass appeal, I could never be that guy you're, not a leader of men, Kurt I'm going to be a niche market like you're. Not a leader of men, are a boutique operators, you're you're, you're you're, the worst case scenario. yeah I shouldn't host was both that way. I should not be the first thing you see someone these d you're a genius, it's good to see a man. Yes, goosey to man, I broke, that's it. That's our show that guy was funny right, Vox is smart, quick who have curb metzger nice to talk to him go to.
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Transcript generated on 2022-09-17.