Comedian Nick DiPaolo is a relentless button-pusher, which might be why Marc likes him so much despite all their differences. Marc and Nick reminisce about their early comedy days in Boston, as they both try to figure out whether they’ve changed all that much. Plus, one of Marc’s favorite comedians, Brian Regan, stops by to talk about his new special. He brings along comic Joe Bolster, who has a unique connection with Brian and Marc.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
A guy all right. Let's do this, how are you what the factors, what the fuck turkey and what the fuck bodies, what the fuck's there's? What the a to believe what colleagues what's going on. It's smart man- and this is my show deputy. Yet how's everybody doing that for joining me here in your head. I appreciate being here I like taken up space here for a little while I hear a lot from you. People are here a lot. Dare sometimes my voices, so I'm invasive there some other things in your lives, get narrated by my voice. I am honoured. I appreciate that I will seek any compensation for being an inner narrator, even when I'm not being piped into your head, because a big hearted guy and I presume in a living in your head, whether I'm I'm talking into it or just their aren't. Space so long,
it's not obsessive and weird and you're not coming to kill me that get dark awfully quick, welcome to the show today on the show, Nicht apollo HU I have known since nine. In eighty eight nicht up hello stand up, comics, I'm! You know him from a tough crowd, so many known from stand up some. You know him from his show with already laying a while ago. Some of you know him from things. He said that upset you, but nick and I've been friends for coming up on thirty years. and he I did want to my first gigs opening for Nicht Paul I've known him a long time- and I talked to him, trip to new york and day nick is nick, so brace yourselves if you're here, the type of person that require, bracing of oneself Also in a minute the brine regan stop by. He he's got a pretty exciting a bit of business happening, Brian
again this saturday september, twenty six he will be performing the first ever live stand of special in the history of comedy central brine, regan live from radio city, music, all Is this Saturday night? What live, as it happens at nine p m, eight central, so bright came by to talk by doing that live specially brought Joe bolster women. Now, Joe bolster myself and Brian all did a show called short attention span. Theatre on comedy central back in the day was my first gig television. I was not happy about it surprise, but I did, because I'm broke, and I learned some things doing it, but it was in insisting that Joe came Joe opens forum for brain. Sometimes I had not seen Joe in years, put him on the mike and it was like this weird reunion of the past. Out of short attention span theater and we had fun. We I we had more more fun than anticipated.
I always knew Brian would be fine, but then there is Joe is here and I, while this we just up the funny anti right. I appreciate all the kudos and excitement over the Keith richards interview, a few, a bleeding d, in types of sober people, a little concerned with the cigarette nazism. Insinuations were made. What have you done you heroin? What have you done for you, a blind coke. the average eu cocktail I wouldn't have done, knows There's that answer. Why do you want you smoke it? You know, you start smoking get one guy. Who was, I think, fairly sense. to the situation of the possibilities of the situation said. Oh great now we're going to have to listen to MARC marron, trying to quit cigarettes for six months in the monologues, I'm here to report that, because, I am completely saturated with nicotine again on a daily basis through nicotine lozenges. I have not had another cigarette. Since I smoke that cigarette with Keith richards, I have no plan
the smoke another cigarette. I know that a lot of people say that, but I'm really, I don't think I'm in there. I don't think I'm in the woods. I think I'm out of the woods I knew I was out of the woods. Why smoked it? It was risk, just a smoking is a dirty sucked, a bunch of licences by death I want to share smoke, wood, Keith, richards and I think a lot you understand who wouldn't do that in may day, my life and I'm glad I was glad to share with you for those people we? Let me say another thing: while I'm here because I'm sensitive and I at the aggravated and angry sometimes over overload things, but here's the deal I dont ask the question that you think I should ask you should to do an interview with the person I'm talking to that's how that works The interview fall short of what you think you would have asked you should you should make cod. With that person and get those questions answered, because I do what I do and for those of you who listen and are still hung up on answers, and not upon feeling
I think you're missing the point of what happens here on a good day. That said. those of you who like to see me in australia, here's your chair to take a trip. Australia have you live It's going to be easier, but if some you're like white ones, we plan to go to australia well october, fifteen That would be a nice day to go to sydney because I'll be at the state theatre that night or if you're thinking melbourne, would be fun october. Sixteenth would be the day to see that city I'll be at the palais theatre and if has been- is on your mind. You should make. Trip on october. Seventeenth, because I'll be at the bar men, city hall so I live in Australia. Those dates are for you as well, but I was just trying to encourage a tourist activity in your country for those you who live in Australia for you aussies also. We with the new yorker festival on October third, that's all I know about that. One I imagine you can look it up. A new yorker first of all on october. the evening of October third I'll, be somewhere in new york, doing a thing, a tie
God knows. I need to talk more. What I got some interesting news. I that I like to share, I think it's pretty exciting news- that a year somewhere in the last month, somewhere this month and we crossed a pretty big mark it's a big number, but this shit. deputy f. Happened this month. I don't know the dad could find out, but it doesn't matter we crossed the threshold of two hundred million downloads since the day of this shows inception and that you were not the weird thing about tat. Is It was west in two years ago that we he crossed the one hundred million mark, so things are picked up, but a big number and man. If I had a dollar or quarter or a dime, I even a penny, for everyone, those downloads when that be something libya,
do this now, let's go to my conversation, this brain region and Joe bolster and myself all three of us previous hosts of common. And fell short attention span, theater and again brine special it is this saturday september, twenty six, it's the first ever live standup special in the history of comedy central brian regan live from radio city music hall. As on this saturday night you can watch it live as it happens at nine p m eight central, so here's me Brian and Joe, is it historical, its historical, its? I guess in a way come on, don't be what you call. It has not just historic by caught comedy central, never done one of these. Yes, let's gonna be happening while you're doing that is correct with no delay. Well, maybe a little delay a little delay. Six second, do I have to have a little delay yeah, It was at a negotiating point we're way where you stick ordinates, not likely you're ready,
Did you say I want no delay? Well, I think that's a you know I am even Saturday night live. Anything has a six second delay cause you never rewrite right, because you never know when some idiot is going to lose his fucking mind see right there. I hope we're on delay. Mark. I hope that gets bleeped out. I apologize to marks listeners for that, so he tapes on the twenty sixth and is this an hour you've been doing for what the last six months year. Oh well, I mean I've been like zeroing in on this particular hour, because you know you need it. It's it's that weird tight you wanted in your bones, but not so much in your bones that you suck, although funny out of it, are you not, I mean mean so you wanna you'd, want at least a few like you're engaged with it, not walking through it yeah you have that weird mom. Were you like ooh, that guy doing my jokes fuck me right, the outer body thing there's me saying some memorize stuff. Have you had that before yeah
it was soon. It is yeah as soon as I feel like that, then I will automatically not say at the way, I'm supposed to say it just to get back into real mosher sure sure I'd rather clunk through a joke, and be real, then say it perfectly and have it not feel funny right there right, and does it bother you if you don't feel like it's funny and he just sort of walk through it and you're thinking about something else and they're all laughing and rotten in their chairs and there's party the cycle lay them full. Then again, I'm not even present. No, I don't like that its horror of yeah, because it's late is that feeling of mailing it in is a horrible feeling. We always want to feel like I'm there in the moment right. Why would you what we could have done another job here? We were going to male. She had an expect zones.
A mailing purse. Your mailing person, just a guy that just as this this and goes gotta I'll get to it. Just sit there. Whatever that is so would you were you got the the honor of doing when a letterman's last bit. It shows Yeah man, I was a. I had done. What I thought was my last one in october of last year I usually do one about every nine months, so I thought alright. That was probably my last one and then my manager rory called to tell me they wanted me to do one more and it was great where a rose garden, rory rose garden, no kidding. I didn't doubt I did. I know. You're worry, rose garden, Rory rosegal. What's his brother's name, Peter rose guardian, Peter rose garten, yes, with a t famous for handling the romano and the robert klein is what I know. Yes, yes, Nobles both can Joe bolster who's in the house. Who's in the room is in the garage we're going to get him a mic and a second cousin. We all share of weird common history.
Stir. I remember one time supported a mustache, but we'll talk about that. There is in my. Am I wrong about that? They have with his boy. That's a big tease and we'll be back to get into that. We'll get into that. Read it around in a few minute right after these words from ours, remembered Joe bolsters mustache coming back at you so So what was it like with their letterman to talk to you You have a relationship with my what I've done the show like four times and he was always one timey. I sat down on the chair any get. You actually said. Do you get that set to work at clubs as great? As you know? I never a you know. Well, I saw him backstage once or twice you know before show, but whenever hung out you don't write, everybody knows these not right, he's out a social person riah regard and I've like
jokingly in interviews. You know people say what's Dave letterman liken. I would say you know just to be read: illus as well. I was always flying a couple days early and he and I got two central park. the fly kites in both like case together. Thank you right or so over the top absurd that they would then that an interview go really know that it was indicating going targeted now I gotta brings back here. Did you like that? we'll get a guide or a classic as clouding glow single piece keyser over those kids, they got fish. Amendment parts and then I gotta start Google, while I'm while I am on the air with their guy. Now we're going on this right, all did notice bit was going to keep going, was not prepared for the improvisation. Now I'm talking like brine, Regan's aids, wicked app and quick, it happens, but you, you did that. Shall I go like a lot yeah. I
was twenty eight and I was honoured to do every one of em. The last one I was on re romano was also on. He was the first guest and he had a very nice moment where he told Dave that his if changed on that spot, the stand up com, spot. Oh yeah, he said I went out there and I had a set and your people called me a couple of days later. That's right and you changed my life and ray romano got emotional. You know on the show and Dave said: why don't you go out there and stand on that spot again? You know man, I'm going to cry and I'm backstage going. I got a good sticker on that spot. Real gotta follow a guy crying standing on a spot and I gotta go out there and make people laugh on that spot. I'm here to do the job that that spot requires. This is not a nostalgic journey that I have to work on, that spot, get off to get the tears off that spot. That spot is not for crying
and it was a really nice moment for re he you know he said that he had never been able to. Thank god dave letterman publicly, like that's. It was a good thing for is a sweet guy. That re salute you now and again. And somewhere backstage worry rose garden was gone. I got two guys you're, my guys, but death by. So you really just passing conversation with them generally just a good job and you shake your hand and you stand there just the moment. Where do you know you finish your set and then he walks up from behind and you have to pretend Like you, don't know? Walker, I understand you don't want to turn around right right, because what if he isn't coming right, yeah, weird few seconds where you just standing there looking forward thinking, hey, hey, I didn't know you were coming up from behind me: it's a while to be out there and know he stands sitting there. It's so trippy man! I get I'm going to miss him! Oh yeah! I I think you I think, comedians
comedians, love, dave, letterman and his yet harmony in his style debating, introduce state style that had not been prominent before he ran the scene and I think that's way comedians really. You know lobby. I did the endearing crank. Yes yeah. Well, everyone Dave letterman had the daytime talk, show yeah no before they allies will. Now it's not for that that already but dumb when you you're gonna be replaced his final episode. He did a tribute to the oh. That was going to replace issue which we can be card, sharks, sharks or charter bright, and he had like fifty two people dress like playing cards given out walking around, and it was so we ask of severe seven funny that he was making the show that was going to replace how you he'd he had just enough fuck you, I mean more of it when I was younger than a car smoothed out in the nice palatable fuck you at the corner near now,
important, don't see that enough on tv now or is Geauga open for a job trying to get on the mic Joe Joe bolster. Ladies and gentlemen, the job of the the Joe bozo bolster have felt like teller for the last twenty minutes. Yeah now Joey actually tell my audience Joe bolsters comedian, but he also, and I didn't remember you doing this, I
Instead, the short attention span theater, which was a show originally hosted by Jon stewart and patty ross Perot, yes, which I then I think became just patty ross, Perot, correct and then into brian and Brian Regan, hosted it and then Brian, I co, hosted oh youtube. Co, hosted it a brief period. It's get on that! Might joke that. We were, you know reminiscing today, if you'd like to ever see us, you can go down the museum of radio and television where we have an archive, then Brian left yeah. He did not like train wrecks and you yet I mustached you know this was postmasters, will get the mustache at the moment or are burying the leader in the lydia and what happened when I took over as they then auditioned my replacement with me on camera, which one was that they brought in randy kagan and re chambal. Who was a model number member? No, I don't remember the marriage, he couldn't read the prompter, so so you're auditioning you're you're, put through the humiliation. Yes of of you know finding money,
and then one of this guy marcus Alan who am radio personality of europe, is at a romantic. Yes ex ante sacramentos somewhere out here and the thought was his young looks good, but he had no comedy genuine plastic. Yes, yes, that kendall, a kind of- and I think I came in after him- you did and then and then robert small known for the unplug series that was his Big claimed fain. You just put a curtain up,
and he said we're going to revamp its where they they just trashed the whole premise of the show. What had become oh, you can watch it either sift through your fucking. I've got them all on tape. Thank you, Brian. I was watching some mark marron in front of the curtain. It wasn't no! No. That was what he was known for. You know sarah trying to lie my way through this to remember the vault. It was the concept was we were in the comedy vault in the basement of comedy central and there was a elevator that I'd come out of and there were several elevator operators to Branca santa rally was my elevator operator briefly. You'd have chat with him on the way down and yeah we'll chat and then come out and then what they do is they just bundled together a theme for the day based on free promotional clips. So if we were doing a carson theme, Joe is because they just released the best of car size and we'd, be like you remember this gem weight around and I had to I had to like when I first got there. I had a fight for them to get a writer in there. That would write me jokes. They had me doing. These weird throws the quips. All I remember
is saying this before I lost my mind. I said next up a pithy python pair and that's when the and we went to crib and I go. I hate what the media literate as the turning point, that was it the python pair and then John groff came in, and that was his first writing job who way he later went on to be head writer at conan You know it was very hard about that show when we were doing it. You know that they would like put themes, gather. You know the right. They would like have three or four comedians talking about air planets. Shoes awry, ok and then they were doing it. It wasn't going out live, but they were trying to do in life to tape, while they were doing that the while the showing those clips they would come up to me and say: forty five seconds short. We something about ten issues. So I'm like big
come back. I got to follow three of the best comedians in the world, doing their tightest tennis shoe stuff, and I got a winger something off the top of my head about tennis shoes which of course, didn't even come close to what everyone had just seen and just let everybody just kind of land with a thud at home, going ha ha anytime. He needs a co host. Yeah iranian joe bolstering is really a laugh or get a laffer up there. So you ended the show or you just want the ipad ipad bury dead thing. It wasn't bad. I guess I you know it's weird did because you know you ve had opportunities in television that you ve just you know how goes it limiting somehow Well, we do. We will now complete autonomy, is comedian exactly and then to get into a world where you don't do this challenging yeah, it's like having a job. Yes,
That's exciting man, I'm happy for you. What what else do you want to work? Well, we should get to my mustache co2 that that's how lazy I've gotten as if Iraq, as back you, that only big thing we're all yours but Ok, there was a decision there. I back in the day in the early eighties Maxwell house decided to do a campaign featuring comedians, Maxwell's coffee. And there's a real story here and they were they had you come in and you have you had to write the copy you had to prepare your own material. That was coffee related. and so I was one of the guys they brought in and I came in- and they said we don't like you with moustache haha. So I said well I'll shave
come back tomorrow, so I shaved it and came back the next day and they said we still don't like it and were like fuck yeah bring back just the master. Use that on the can, could you voice the can with your moustache? Will you look well man, it's good to see yankee. It was a nice surprise and good luck with this thing. It sounds like it's going to be hilarious, but I appreciate it man. Thank you very much. Yeah. Now, I'm going to I'm going to plug the date like a professional september, twenty sixth at nine What p m? Is there some party brain that sort of like ninety something I'd never done before I hope they got that pixel leading machine ready, I'm gonna mustang what you'd better get on it. Workin on Thanks guys, that was fun, is good, seeing those guys
you know this. I like hanging out with comedians because a comedian I came now a guys that do the thing that I do as well. How do you like that anyway? god nicht apollo and a second any. It's it's very interesting. How far I can I bring it up to him. I talk to her about it. So now enjoy and, as I said, those of you who might be sensitive, particular tones allowing whatever make is and nick I've known each other long time nick is my friend and I he's got you got some stuff going on. If you want to see nick, I believe you and go to governors on long island. This weekend, I remember good, remember having a great sound system, but the last time I played governors, you could still smoke there, but if you're on the long island gotta go
there's the cynic to policies at the grandson theatre in new york city on october, seventeenth, and you can get his special another sense- was killing at nicht apollo com. Please please join me. As I talk to the power of mine you haven't. You have spoken about with air was plenty because when we were set me up here, I went out of town when you're supposed to come out you I got a no vote. The president on what am I going to do, I was honest to god. Even now, I'm walking across the street I'm gone Jesus Christ. He must be going what the fuck. What am I? Oh? No, no! I don't. I don't feel this. I don't feel that way at all, because with me you know that
Well, the thing was, it was an amazing honor and we as an american, the president says you want to talk to you dude. You do well you're, you don't call. You know you're. I like dick cavett, oh yeah, that's how I look at you, one of the smothers brothers, a kind of a hip, a right guy conversation. Great thing to be yeah, but it was it, but you were impressed dude, I was blown away. I was fuckin blood. I woke up X, I did for you when I read that seriously exhilarating your excited about obama. The right to ask me belongs in a garage, listen now I say I was so excited for you. She said this I said to my wife merit. A friend of mine, and I got a friend of mine interview in the forest blank president in they talk about my roommate louie seek it, it does not the greatest country in the face of the earth, and I invite me so funny The fact is that, like we go talk about your house opened, they will work up to their right. What you say just got a good deal answer it
Well, finally, we are living in Tarrytown me and my why we moved up to tarrytown and we went to tough crowds that that's that's fifteen miles south of where my present house right and but my wife's acted like a financial genius. We look condo right. Neither the opening as a bridge hobby been by a million times complex and were therefore couple years Tough cry was on. I had saved a lot of money even before then say or like another way irregular, but will you write on the show I don't think I gotta writers, credit of like every year, with every day you what're you gonna. Last yeah I was well, I was supposed to be on. They had contract for us and I was get beyond twice a week and act like the second third episode I get called then by comedy central. He is a serious look on his face in everybody's talking like these cryptic, what the fuck You can make a lot of jew jokes and you don't do it with a smile on your face, some actual meeting. I
are you talking about? I may go. I say Nobody was making Joyce jobs ended up, so you haven't you weren't. Really. I go I want to see the fucking tape give me the tape, as they show you that I brought them home. People are laughing their ass off, but I was saying some over the top shit here, but so so it was a big country. call him in college, said to me. He had to keep me from getting kicked off the show completely So now you know really run show business the idea one turned out to be horrified at least comedy central it was so we're commons a go. And then I he goes- I don't want you to be that guy and unlike their own, although cryptic. I didn't know what they were talking about. But what did I do? What? What does that mean? You don't meet the guy who gets fired. I guess so. Yes, and they were jokes, they were just that. It's the same shit. We were doing at the comedy cellar table and that's the whole idea. That was why people love that show and why it was probably a threat to everybody. Is that it was jokes, by any other, when only but it still gotta will harry
and you know what I do. I know what I'm on stage and people have told you know, I sometimes I don't say it with a smile on my face. You know me I'm away to my own goods and boy. It's weird, but you know when you cross the line. Oh fuck yeah because it's fun it's fun and I don't think they sometimes. I don't think there is a lot. Your line might be here minds: five hundred free, download, but you know what is that funny anymore? I have I only have trouble gone, is it wasn't just mean or that funny as I get all and worse, did. You notice that you get jaded what I don't know what happened here. yeah I dunno when the anger you know like became first and foremost, you know what I mean you you're angry to know you know I was in it in, and I think arguably not not that funny. Sometimes the euro is on the right side of a family,
I dont know. If I was you know like I, when I look back at it, there were definitely jokes. I did at a different time where it was meant just to see if I could get away with it with the push the button I really think about them. There's a couple of jokes: they did where I'm surprised people didn't come and go yeah. I don't I don't know. If that's that's wrong minded they will. But my stuff sort. It goes against all the the oh biz. but- and I lay in a little done a right and it's not always very popular. Well, that's right that in show business and the show as we live in, but you you're always aggravated and then I know I know a little vista, a oh yeah days before the shower you get bored after being at the celebrate twelve years after cocktails yeah that brown liquor makes me fucking tank took me. It took me two. Cancellations to realise that there is the boughs, and it's still I have to which myself really cause you brain change, it change without me. You know nobody would pointed it out to me everybody's. Like me, yeah right, nobody will point out a little intense yeah. When you remember, I think we talked about.
Once you for a very long time ago and on the show I did my. I think my first paid gig in Boston opening, you gonna go in maine. Yes, happen mix you you were you just come off three: have you taken a few years, for now is in that way, and I come back come back to it and came back to boston, more went to school to start comedy over again, and then I think it must have been. I wonder if it's even before I came in second and that riot in, like you might be right before me, bury kathmandu, throw me some bones and that's what I've met you and in europe yet walk into that fuck I drove up to a guy we do have to mix, I still I won't bite or a few years ago they stole. The sign was still there really is still open, and it was like that the bar area. I kind of remember you, you do you walk in the bars on the left in the stages right there we walk in on the lead. That's exactly how I remember right and you are all nervous because you had to do like look what's funny finance shower how about you open for you now you're interviewing obama. I know that's right. I get Joe matter
Michel, yeah, yeah out, but see I still like. The funny thing is the week after I did, obama did, which was made. You're that what the fuck am I worried about. Not only to be willing to provide an ice buffer with what was funny, because what I going to do yeah me too, I interviewed obama's, are what is everything changed? We have made things about you. I thought you might be. You ve really change we're talking about my parents and I give you ve gone the other way. would you and I had such negative energies both of us you'd, walk into the comedy cellar and literally a rain cloud form over that table and stop Oregon other people, and you- and I would just laugh- I know it was it was. It was true and they were going the different directions, but I don't think they were essentially the different directions. I think that both of us are angry, anyways, yes, an end. and in the idea of having politics to distorted, run it through is nice, but I Have you got that? That's like throng gas on rice act in a year? I just think that where we ve got that attitude, you know, and yet we can't hide it.
Certainly there was that what I like you, I even oh, you know probably opposite ends at a spectrum. Reality clean, but we never really had a beef network when I the idea of really having your anger, pointed at me. I was, as you know, it's greater. He could point it wherever he wants. Not me, I'm not going to do it. I dunno I'm mellowing out, you know your age gets. Your age gets ya. He can't even now coming down to the fdr. I was like bumper to bumper. I just fucking. I actually have a john denver fucking best. John danbury put on now and marilla. I swear to god. I downloaded on my phone, so trapped, rome, you I swear to god. I I put on like a colorado, rocky mountain high and shine on my show sunshine. On my show, I swear to god. The funniest fucking thing you read is well yeah, you'll I'll, be singing along with it on the colorado rocky mountain high that I might get the fuck over you're in the left lane get over. It helps, but so, okay, so let's let's go back because, like I remember
I came back from Boston from l, a yeah. I was a little fucked up. I was trying to stay sober and then I I go there cause. I remember you were sort of like a pretty good job. You did you were you were supportive. You were a chick with you, I don't remember who the hell that was, but but you know you were you know you are doing a thing, but it all about you know tuna sandwich. You know all this shit you're right It was of course, want to manage without as sawdust in it or whatever you have broken glass row. Gaza has the dust. Remember that the error rate of stewed, but like there's a story. You that, like he, you know. I always like it's inspiration to me. because I don't know if it really happened. It was mothers. It's one, these road myths that day
you, made a bridle party cry a couple: brad okra about priorities. Crier I've got banned from the from the comedy works in denver. That's weren't! That's where it happened to me: yeah, don't sit the bachelor party up front. I got banned from there because the ice, a woman runs wendy yeah yeah Yeah, I call the table bite. I gave him a chance. I always give the budget. You know you gotta, give him a little rope, yeah right drunken right, and then they just kept yelling shit out, and so I snapped on them back. What whatever you call much a bunch of drunk and concert and and and next thing yeah, some chick yeah upset and she's ball and she's. Bawling she'd bond with fake tirana had get out of here, and even worse, mark the punchline sacrament. That's when I heard that's that what had at about one get orally through it? While I was in no mood even for me, I'm, like I shouldn't, be out
I don't know why I was like just totally not a good money had a work. That was your full. How like us all to put all house yeah yeah for two shows friday. Night grew big roma and is a bachelor party once again up front, but you know what I can use didn't, stage- and you see them new- see the middle, and you see the bachelor party. You know before even go on like da, there was rolling the middles act right. I was getting so ass, though you nobody was doing anything about it and they are. Running his act here. So on my way up on my way, the state should chicks like take off your shirt in the medium term, microphone and they a yelling shit media and there is no dormant or anything I get up. There go look shut how's, your row in Alaska and you're not going to fucking ruin my act, but la ba back and forth back and forth haven't even told the joke. Yet and an end, some girl, but you're a fucking deck. This is before having leave. I haven't even microphone
So then I snap on her and another girl throws a bear at me: yeah, like a half a cup of beer like red, on my shirt- oh my god, so I would go nuts yeah. Even for me, I go crazy if froth and you're bent over to the right of my face is an inch from the table just call them the filthiest things wishing cancer on em hear anything I could think of and all of a sudden other tables, some guy standing they get. A table guys gets mad at me right you, don't you call girls, we get defended these fuckin whores amazed. screaming at me now have the room. This is how bad I was chaos and I'm taken blame for this, even though they should have been thrown out before I got onstage now it's chaos here. I have tables yelling at me right because you didn't what you didn't get I'm on your side at all, not at all, not at all which I've learned since yeah so lit literally scream at me. I'm scream it and other people scream at me. You right in the middle of it he has his. The manages
dear for resolution. He runs up and hands me a shot to combat me like rumpled meant, and I d do it and it gets even now people are leaving now people trying to leave the club when they there was two hundred and twenty people. I thank you was packed house harmonies bombing less at an end. When may have died down. There was forty five people, oh my god, mass exit it for me, like that, you stayed in the saddle radiated a saddle dead, my set, they will love and it has the funny pot. Salt second show between, hang in the back of the roma people are being seated for the second show, and I hear people here. People are way to come over. You know Sean started that I'm standing the back and then I am hiding behind a corner and I hit people going to the waiter Haya we heard the headline it went nuts show, isn't easy, like a real fucking, crazy guy. Does it all the people, without see him waiting line in the hallway.
There is a lie to try to get their money back. They saw people coming out of this screaming and, and what was scary was even after the second show was over guy comes out and he goes. We have to have security, walk you back to your hotel because of those got that first, maybe the guys I was yelling during a pickup truck. This is a couple hours later. wait for me to come out of that places in a mall its upstairs across from a plucky match, restore yeah. Sadly, and gonna walk downstairs the parking lot I had to go to the mattresses live more know your exact it was. They had the disparity get in the back of the hotel. We are walking across the street. Like you said I do you mellow out with age and I've had them. I've had twenty bachelorette party since Bobby, and I and I say to them even and they've been pretty good. I think even clubs revolving in that way, but again they still sit him up front. But I say the girls. Now I got you know, I'm flattered. You came to see me right, even though you probably know the headline of vienna, but I also, why are you you know you ve been there.
right, even where cream out of a guy in Arusha that one get onto down under all over there lay a gag eyes dancing area. So I go I put on. You came to see me. I don't know why would you come youtube? friends get married, which major I'm gonna see much of her rights fifty, so this might be done. Now, you're out with her and you're gonna commonplace. We, you can't talk, I really I don't really know where, where the tradition was established, I don't know why they keep doing it. I think it was barry, Katz management that established that's how he guys at the beginning of your career careers, but I get there. I think what they're really looking for is like the ad they'll, make fun of her, so they they expect us to do what we're going. do, but they don't realize that we, we fucking hate them and it is not going to be that fun versa. Some guys may handle it better, but I'm like oh, this is going to be a problem, yeah I am flattered, they came out right, but I think you and I what you realize as you get older, is that it gets sort of exhausting to fucking to do this defensive fucking.
no less and its. It actually feel better. Just do a nice show for people that water yes, but, like I think you and I both feel this about you when you first started, I went into it defensively. You know like when I, what might one Started doing anomaly security, of course, but I was like it was always a fight to me before that before it even start you before even got up, there might have done for no reason It was always a fire. You can talk yourself out of a good show yeah end, but I don't think I knew how to have a good show. The fact that I was doing regional gigs in the boston area was crazy. Me, like you, know what you would like you, you speaking their language, the right ex ante. They reveal beach joanne. But what day when you started dough, I don't remember you from sam's like played against samson shit. I hung out there what mixes by who
the club right so, but when did you start, though, like eighty seven yeah? Eighty seven like the spring of eighty seven write my own, so we were working urine. That's the weirdest thing about that sound mix. Well, that's how much stage time there was because they had all those gigs everywhere. Every restaurant and pub I'll show you my book from, First year over three hundred nights like baby king progressing right every restaurant pub on a monday night I'd, be it a mexican restaurant franklin, mass franklin, francs and frank ranks and, frankly would drunk frank. Thank you met maybe the holiday inn national new Hampshire. I run on Wednesday and maybe back at stitches thursday, providence rather attain restaurant yeah friday night, I can accept a universe massachusetts. It was every public restaurant knowingly, ski lodge in vermont, three ever arby's gaiety of mother, shapiro, mother. She k daddy's. Take how do you? I don't feel like glowing like malawi. I we remember certain things. These amounts
you convince yourself will be nice. It'd, be nice up there in the winter will go up we'll hang out tonight. So it's a nightmare. Mother's shapiro is a fucking nightmare with that weird jewish dude that ran the place, and there was that weird mixture of skiers and fucked up lol, goals, the other. While I was there once in some guy, like basically, there was a group of fucking creepy as dude hit. Not my fucking know what became my wife him and, unlike you know, I'm no fuckin fighter, I'm sort of ngos is go get it here. However, we remote mostly workin for very catches, Boston, calmly company, I work for. I don't work for the connection much I work for my clark. I work for barry let me give you an me bob. I don't work for the connection either ass, though I still remember my clarks phone number, it's so fucked up like why I still members, it was our EU member. It was yet answering monsieur, but so go and he never knew what you were driven into member wow, lemon stairway
at poncho v as in lemons, nacho v as I did it two nights in a row. For some reason, a guy was yelling second items yelling by punchlines, one guy came back to see me he's yelling my punchline from the balcony. I went up in a balcony with a microphone. You dig up at the back. It was one of the first places they had. No, why on the thing and went up there whose yellow my filled up the guy raises. So I made that you own him and the bulk of my commands and yellow my punchlines and I'm upset at a club like that. Remember bandidos, there was bandidos in fall river, but but, like What memories kill me do it? I thought you smuggled out a we not
I have done anything the only time I selective memory. I can't remember some people's names that I've known for twenty years. I can remember, being beaten, beat but yep. You know Why- and I realize this later, because I had it with the comedy store. It's like it's like where we were abused. It's a traumatic experience, that's what I was going to say earlier say. I know you guys to present right because I'm gonna forget that face kinda right mike MIKE clark's phone number is the way it was I didn't know. I knew that I had to do the job like it's sort of fascinating to me, given my my temperament, my mind that that's where I learn how to do comedy was go in the regional, new england and doing in those easy audiences, and how they wore was a freak where we are good. It was for us, you know to work that much that early new career, that's how we learned. We would know, though, but we were able to skip over the fuckin, how spot it was a gift. That's right, You then we can. It be
local opener, that can't get there can't be pumped up the middle and they never get worked as a headliner right? That's what happens to those guys big it them make do fine. but we go to where we had to do the job yup you get these guys coming in from out of town or the colleges. The weird thing about the fucking colleges is when we don't colleges for bury he was now given anthony clark. In the end you know eddie regime. The big money on the ticket- and we didn't know better, that's exactly right. It's like you, go out and do the twenty for this in a fucking lunch room yo four hundred hours and fuckin anthony's walk. with five grand yes fucking know no waited we're just right, just that, let's have the gig its prairie man right, always whether he had me on his podcast He literally, let me shit on him for an hour and a half he loved it. That's it we're thingabob larry will not economics. We have an unfamiliar, yet nobody you when you bust his balls, because he knows he deserves it in his heart. So he gets a bigger kick out of being. You know,
stood on than anybody ever memories. Always love me right right. My first manager that we now remembered the time that it was like a mafia thing. Like one day you get. This call in everyone's brought into the basement and he's wise to pay Furthermore, this is how it went down may yet. This is my favorite barry cat story, as it sums up his management style right and how I was it mix and went on, Dana go again. We don't have a year articles like seventeen years, and brilliant and maize and I'm up they don't rostov cause, I'm no lobby being dirtier than I should be whenever and destroying lobby for all the wrong reasons. Right right, I come off. Dana ghoul goes on stats, bad malta me on state I've only been have been about a year and a half. I met a suit jacket right. I still have my college football muscles year. People hate me just for that is a nerd business. Alright, not enough, then it was not at nyc not at next year, but I'm wearing a suit jacket fits me like a t, shirt and I'm waiting for dane a goal. Yes,
bad mouth is. No, as I was, I knew that's one thing you don't do right, you don't bad mouth they'll come back before you, so he comes off and he's coming downstairs and I'm waiting for him, And I literature he's walking out of the building grab him push him against a wall and in the hallway dx and go. What are you doing he's like? What were we talking about? I will you fucking you you know saying I was hacking and just shitting all over me, I don't start fucking write a book. I watched the whole thing yeah right so then, then you know I I I. I scared the fucking daylight. I go over to play it again. Sam later that night yeah, I'm sitting there with Kevin flynn on Barry Katz, comes up in a bear he assigned to Kevin flannery Jackie everybody with me. Oh really yeah. He had already signed the few. My friends right comes after me goes the paolo and I have even met barrier. I heard what you pulled. I heard the shit you pulled like with my client. Dana gold data was with him yeah at that point, so
I go on I go Barry. Do you want to hear my side of the story? He goes sure. I do call me on monday and hands me his business, so I call him on Monday. He ends up signing me. Is that not crazy? Not that's like something you'd see movie where sleazy right, yeah yeah, I didn't sign with em like I was It was all he did it all. At the same time, he made this weird jump, a broad. into the one of the rooms in the basement there, where we run and in his apartment right in, Then, if you only ass, he gave me the pitchy had the paper right there I said: look I don't know what it means or what you would do for me, but I can't I can't do it I can't I don't want. You know what it know, what it means when you to sign in the thinking that run he signed like I'll do. Shore marcy rose s regime. Louis c k like he signed that whole first crew up anthony carcass. That was his big. I think chip was like AG anthony's my uncle You know like and had everybody-
in it and it took up a took all your little while to get rid of him. Who did it ever? Did it ever? We reviewed we move, I moved out I think that's what I'm old garden you could lower seek. I was my roommate barrier. An apartment on the west? They were suckers bury open the club here, the boston comedy club and the idea was he's. Gonna run you guys his guys through there and then he had that like that that that magical apartment right so long. You have bunk bed, you and louis, but if everyone came right, yeah there's definitely some stories, Yeah part I mean and louis had it after people start coming, it was. Was that fund? What was it? go on it. I mean those are the good times we want the new york city me and louis. Had no concept of use money went out will be that the punchline in san francisco maloney, for which I have told us, germany, he goes I'm going out and we had a network of barbie twelve dollars between us at that point
because I'm going out to get a b c r. This is how long ago I'm gonna get a vcr ass. We can watch movies all week at the hotel. He's gonna like for us comes back with an eight hundred dollar trumpet the trumpet. Oh, that's the drop it. yes because I remember him by an eternal right yet now there's a couple but don't you haven't you weren't even make a hundred dollars a week between us and you bought a car up there to drive he would buy cars rises and then leave on the side of the road right. That's why I'm level he's the real billy with squarely lowly matter. and when we lay in bed and ways to play this game, I took on turkish a shit so big, then you do an analogy right right. I took a shit so big, it was worth twenty electoral votes to. It took a shit so big it sprint. I sprained my ankle and we we with latvia to five of them. One avenue despair belly like like a good comedy. Actually I mean that's what I'm cosette doesn't exist anywhere bug you to bungie beds like kids. Yes, do and jokes, yes at all! areas know we we, I
and he had also memories any memories any anymore. Secondly, I was got killed on many cars here that it would reckon park in the indian and we re just be taken away. Somebody stole his honda that maybe get a pond a prelude when we first started and somebody stole it like little left that, like two blocks from We will deliver in new york and- and he does a joke about somebody stole- is always somebody stalls watch out The eighty saw the guy wearing his watch rabies and he goes up the guy because of the guiding us. Can you tell me time is in the galaxy logos. You gotta push the button. that's what I'm his early bits. So we did the like? We like at that time because bury was sort of like he very always help me but like that was one guys or new york enable they were shooting care. Comedy our here. Yes, so we got to do that. We got into the mtv weird.
and minute things like. There was a lot of basic cable shit. We all did what when and why did you decide to go to l a what? How old were you then cause? I remember there's this weird memory I have I was visiting in l a because I didn't really move there until through two thousand and two member when you were there, but I was driving somewhere and I saw you walk across the street from a coffee shop or silent, a mall somewhere, and I said, hey how's, it goin and you were just sort of way without even provocation. Guy got fucked that I know that tony Danza was involved. I don't remember what oh yeah I had to deal with time, but I didn't get fuck there I actually made some money must have been before like you were just sort of like just like alone walking. There is, if you were like just you know, just like without elect how you doing it. Guy fuck this point, you're like right out of the gators, I always get really bad memory. I went out there twice. I went out on my own like a ninety three pro for like a year so
the first wave so you're like I'm, going to I'm going to do it yeah and you leave new ninety three or ninety four and I got a no deal just to go no deal, but super. We just saw me with urban author right. What was the good agency and he was my age- thea so yeah. I went They ain't like an idiot. I find the place on venice beach, apartment. I leave my girl from behind Nancy national Hampshire wearing. Our senor hall happy on a show like three times for six months Had I moved at that point, I'm so bad with dates. The first if he had booked me. I knew I was gonna, be on the show right and my managers said yeah, you gotta you gotta move on, not barry though it wasn't barry. I forget who talked me into it, but I left my girlfriend behind. I was going to be a star getting it right. I get out there. I don't know anybody or shupe is not around and you move to venice, venice, because rich was out.
The santa monica that for nick apollo from where you put from, whereas Danvers Sandberg north sure nor shore area the higher world the Minorities in freaks is your doorstep, then about me, I mean. Does I don't think it does ruler Bobby. I you know people. I got there again from tough crowd of setting out a shit patrice. Who was my friend the I got pigeonholed their quick this business, if you say their quick in this culture to tunnel, throw it on you but you're right There was a culture of living in a basement apartment. I want my girl from back. Yes, he I miss her I literally call hall. I kept calling the house, the fathers answering it like three in the morning, I'm like ways Nathan she's done with you. I cheated honour when we left. Oh, you right heat she's like now, your college, yellow Sergey, are sad above oh yeah. Unlike the worries us now, she's she's out with a guy brian it down the cape,
and he goes nick you're, not a bad guy. Has he was he? Apparently he was a wild man. When I was younger, he make it I gave up a bug in it, but I'm I'm crushed the sitting advantage speech here. Margo I must admit I went fourteen days about taking a shower fuckin. sitting against a while ago, my wife, beaters animated pizza by myself, Evan grant you meant Having grant. He worked in, like Brian Steinberg office kind of a good. Looking oh yeah I do. Actually he was out barrier in a real player with a chicks right. Always he saved my life. It was like that movie with vents vine. What is it some swingers? Yes when you're, so I was just like that, but they kept dragon fabric characterise every year. I was a guy real. I lost like twenty per. I was running every morning on that and the boardwalk that boardwalk speech like six miles night back and was ripped out, but I wasn't even that was depressed. You a good though, I believe that John Mccain, when they pull them out of the vietnamese prison
I hadn't shaven highway like eleven pounds. She just totally fuck my I'd go home. I fly home and try to get her back drive up to a house that guy yeah yeah yeah, Ours is something yeah and I remember even my mother going muslim. They pick me up at the airport, my parents, my mother, goes. I wish you'd act like a man act like a fucking man. I go that's how I got into this problem. The first place my mother's laugh, my mother's, almost cracked, oh my god. So I had a horrible and then I then I moved back to new york and then went out there when out didn't, but so that was it. So when you ever in vienna is, did nothing happened? You did arsenius any that few time rests and and having grant tat god. He was in my complex and he's too fuckin saved my life and ones. They a working. Just what you just said. I'm walking down the sidewalk met with a miserable my face: Evan come now. The way I step in dog shit, it's like a hundred eight degrees. The beaches closed because a gang activity
and I go armada here by wednesday back and watch me. That's laugh unshorn. I packed my shit, those it dog shit, gang activity that was it media. I just nothing was have made. You flew back to try to any try to get. The girl beg you to get it back. Couldn't get her back and and the so and back to new york and how they were your parents. Thinking like how how many brothers and sisters you got, I got three sisters and a brother Madame it'll, all the time. all the way through now not number. for tat the other day and an end. The canadian english from my mother desert time and what you, so you guys it wait. You're football player play down. You know I played. I was a cap that in high school near my two buddies would cry captains and I went up to main and I asked I store my shoulders in high school busted up my shoulder surgery after walked on its main are supposed to get a scholarship that rail, the heartbreaking story universally Hampshire. That then turn so why
Don at the university of maine and earned a you know, partial scholarship, yeah. I played up there for a couple of years, but you finish: out of their own, but best time whether it was there a b you I couldn't decided ago. I was a bit o ye. it's going to be you I want to be you. I didn't go because I I won't get out of town. Yes, the distract I go and good. It was a good move because up at main up there were caught part. I couldn't even focus up there on on Buxton yeah yeah. I can imagine if I want to be you no way what the hell what part of main that's up by its called orono, but it's right now. You know it's a little north bengal. Far too in forty miles from raw grub yeah fuck, best time in my life it blew high school away. I would do it again in a second. Why this memories of my life universe. You make sure we get. You got all the freedom in the world to do. I fuck you want an end. I guess where you want. You are playing on the team, I not to my. I went out this spring of my sophomore year for spring football and, like I said I walked on that and who I was that I sort of opened some eyes. You know a jack pick now
to meet a guy. The coach doug floaty abc yeah here I walk in there. After heavens, shoulda surgery right, I had at need to about two hundred and seventy pounds, I get the ball finally to walk into his office and go you recruited me age, brianna and I said to be part of the programme literally goes well. You even carry water He knew thou a blow me out the fuckin, what an ass, literally who should carry water buckets. I'm like this much I go fuck an excuse myself, politely walked out of their eddie was right. I had a sweatsuit, I wait about eleven pounds. You know it still made, for bob, the guy's, a fog and big and don't steroids and shit, and it so you know I was in no shape to play. Football took a copy. I've got went home, get strong over the summer and then a new coach came in and I walked done in and you know it was fun is where, when you think back of the fund, But then you sound like a good time doing little lillian shit. Oh my god! When did you decide to do comedy? Why,
This is the same reason I think a lot of us well, I was always attracted to it and and I've I've heard. Other famous people tell the same story, but it was true, my parents, go you gotta go to bed downstairs watching tv, don't say I'd, go up and leave the door open. A crack to watch johnny Carson's monologue, yeah yeah I was, I was attracted to it. Yeah yeah and my buddies were funny as hell, yeah, no boston, kids and my buddy bob murphy. was David letterman before letterman was bright, brilliant went to work at a think tank. This kid graduated first in our class funny mother, I haven't met my life yeah. Another guy Greg talked to him on occasion on occasion, that's the other sad thing would go our separate ways. It is. I really weird have bombed me, but that that's why you know, sir, I was always attracted to stand up to the to the stand up thing and The sea J leno on them are of grief and shown gothic. I sounds like making here and there turns out he's from over which is permitted from where I grew up right. I can't wait a minute. I think I could die bob murphy, my very funny buddy red meat stitches. One night
in the mid eighties too. swear it. What steve sweeney, etc? This is interesting was really his club, but yeah yeah, sweetie mania, railway sweeney, meaning, let's ryanair it made on wednesdays or some we're blown away, sweetie actual picked on whether this good looking ready to. Let me know Ass all, and I was fascinated we area and- and this is why I think it was, I believe in god sometimes I was a bar back at stitches before, as a comedian, for, like six months I was in awe of Steve sweeney. Here I was like it was like. I was afraid of him. I was so in awe was like TED williams to mere. I reckon I just move your apartment abolished or by other buddy tony I get drunk on saint Patrick day by myself. My his work in Faneuil hall. He gets me like eleven beers. I wander out it, it's not even one. In the afternoon I get on the fucking t and I get lost yeah, I'm over by huntington by northeastern yeah. I'm wondering I'm literally stag, now the sidewalk and I'm thinkin about comedy and instead-
sweeney, muddy clark, as I'm thinking that who comes stumbling out of a bar, Steve states when so guessers drinkin at that point. Yet any good, the other fuckin guinea barbara, where he could come on. Let's go for a drink whose duty it was like Elvis it'll, be you being a kid in love with Elvis and Elvis comes out of a bar, or I still tell, but I told my parents that I go I'd. Never really I dunno about god exists or not right that day that day there we go. When you get a drink to guinness and whatever I drink with them all afternoon. Now was I gotta go to I wanna go to have an old beats, getting dark, he go. He drugs, we get there. we gotta to south Boston south. You want to score some coke in the back of the cab. Would Steve sweeney my idol here dude I fucking I I was hard as a rock. I couldn't believe what was going on wherein in the cab he goes with. Into some neighborhood, it's getting dark yeah. This is not ST patrick's day night they beat up irish people, etc, especially patrick's day night nevermind. I didn't get it, I wouldn't get out of it.
Steve goes here, hold my watch. I go. Why don't we get a hold is? Why was so naive? Why am I holding his watch? He thought it was like one of the he gets out of the cab he's not another cab. Ten seconds, three kids come around the corner, three guys with leather jackets. You couldn't have made a most story typical. Why two of them have been right here and they start chastened sweeney up the street and when a beat the fuck am I gonna? The cat got cabdriver exotic. What do you do when you can't broccoli is a book that I'm not going to get killed in this area and then sweet I didn't hear from him the rest of the night or day. I call stitches that in no way the buggy comes I come on Monday night. I'm work, any company punches mean the chess physically part. In the chest he thought I told the cab driver to take off? Oh my god. there's a fight with my idlers, significant glad he lived. You know I did that to be the last I saw them. I looked out the window of the cab he sprinting and he had shoes on not sneakers shoes on and three guys chasing them. They must have been old deal.
Actually. I was some history, the right I'm his ideas that mother thought right away. They came after me and he said he's the godfather south Boston, but crazy. Yet has opera story, though it's great he. He comes out of a bar, I'm on I'm lost in Boston, I'm over by northeast in what the box he did that make you decide to do comedy it sure, as hell didn't hurt yeah. You know, and I used to try to be funny around him. You know so all right. So then you start out and you start doing what the open mics there. Yes there, shit, yeah yeah, georgia, mcdonald, mcdonald's mutton comedy how many hell I pulled up. I was drunk at my parents house. My name was in the hat. I think they told me I was on. I was going to fight with him Might my roommate, who was lived with an anthony seymour, he's an eye doctrinal nerve. I met him up university, mainly from august at we as a practice. I get my hometown over in a house in topsfield. What's the name of the town, again danvers, danvers, and so so yeah, so he he confronted me one day. He thought I was the funniest guy alive
in all these open mike's comedy was bombing. He was your pussy you, we almost got the blows by questing, my manhood, because you could we make an eleven virgin. You know we're going to literally like enormous good physical, so sure If I put my name and they had a stitches like yeah you're on Sunday night like oh, no, that feeling is the worst. We got three days or whatever, exactly and you're, like, oh god, it's horrible embezzlement when you did samson stuff you'd get you get book like six weeks out. You duets right when five minutes in, sweet and then I got a six week cad yakking saying I went on its ditches. My first line ever was an ad lib up the cup, that's in georgia That's when I know you're gonna be fine. Here I am when I was in a sweatshirt and genes, and I go up and I followed a guy in a tuxedo who was, I don't know, so I went on after him and I go. You know I was trying to figure. I didn't know what to wear all afternoon. I would say what do I wear? My first call I go out
I don't know I want to follow MR fuckin saunders, tuxedo, pollack, local, to integrate like a nice laughing area and you're amid a man them taxpayers about shaving my sister's back, something that one of the toilet and then I did archie but could be blown by a great white shark, where's, really creative. Horror was the seed. The sea if the nick disposition, but george said that judgments when you did that It may have been a god a laugh. It was the first thing out of your mouth. He goes I you know. I saw some and then ga be on the back MIKE We must make it right. Another open might write about bob nickname nick, but I still see it's funny he was so funny. He wrote deal on t v working, I do use a sober guy and he runs a yucca aholic every year him and shiner created the show at every year happens huge show to to to benefit your halfway house and stuff. My favorite bob nick man joke and he's the first guy. I saw call a table of women cuts, stage, but my family there big moment for me I'll, never forget tat day as if that
okay, I'm in I'm in how do I get good at? How do I get good as he is, but one of my favorite jokes, because I I he goes to I'd suck a dick like attached. Regarding those like hanging off a wall, heavy metal to take the head of the end have pigtails. He was a ball guy picked right right. I think globally are those of the big political currently funny. They would kick me out of the green room at mix, because I was the only one not to blow Gavin Lenny would show up canada and the go ahead for a rocky get the fuck out of yeah cause. I don't want you to see this yeah yeah yeah yeah. I remember like I used to do it, but never like there was the green room, but then they closed the place down and then If they're in the main room at a table with every room, yeah yeah, it's all dargah, John bennett, I did coke once before. I went onstage jump in at the late great jumping at gimme, a line of coke yeah, and that was time you did it to both put before I was eight right. Well, I d do it when I was at the palace nightclub around a bigger boys from revere
the way in that situation found a pickup headdress from mobility have you had a fucking workable bumps, but I got I got comedy and nineteen times out of the palace, but but but yeah. I know I only did it once before I went onstage pinot gave it to me. This is true too I'm up on stage, I'm not even up there. Five minutes yeah my left, keep my upper lip, keeps getting stuck to my teeth: ok and I'm tripping on my punchlines and I have my hand on my right pocket and all of a sudden some guy goes. Some guy, like in the third row, goes hey relax. Up there I looked on. I was genk out jiggling my car keys in my pocket. I got her mouth and up paper legs of the that's. The best Well, I've ever heard my riots up they just like you really slow. We want to see this show I hadn't done much cope at that point I wrote I ought to go on stage, don't I'm no as economic, our it threw up. My time- and that is a bad drugs it unless you, unless you want those guys unless it works like ritalin yo, I get you also like that, like if I did coke my eyes were bug out, and I talk too fast
it's the footage of me I'm like, oh, my god and you're thinking like I am now in this fucking disaster. Now I take advil pm there. You go lomita yeah, but like that. So, hey, relax up their diet hey, relax up he's been supportive, didn't mean it was, and I looked down and hit. I hit my right hand doing. I think, that's the best crowd heckle I've ever heard in my life mix was a rough roman time. Oh, my god good idea of the one time- I guess I don't know how the hell I managed to get in with them, but I did they work me enabling comic beer, but like the one time, First time I went up there for the guest spot. I you know I I. It was a really big lesson for me. I was waiting to go on you just nervous because the thing about me I couldn't be more different in my mind than those that already has a very specific got. There were very white sweaty irish yeah guys. You know from all over, they would come in from revere yes august, wherever
You know it's like it was already. I was already at odds and leary gone. Just like you. guys we're you. You know whether these killings or not- but you know, there's a lot of energy going like some leary just why nobody committed yet that's what I from watching him eagerly die and you think he was killed exactly, but so it ever happened up there. It was leery for twenty minutes fifty minutes, and then they bring me on for my seven and I'm thinking like I'm, just gonna jump his energy. So I start out like that like I do like the first forty seconds this pace when they stop now, just like what is happening and edges tank is orbits seven, eight minutes of wake the never ending ain, and I get
in Dominic, so I guy I doing yeah, he couldn't even hide it. Do you remember when it blew up like somehow, like Nix had the main room and then the dance club they made a second show yeah and you could do like nine show one night at nyc. Yes, you run downstairs. Yes, it was crazy. You do, we do end up. Go downstairs, go back up yards to never, leave the building and make a nice chunk chunk of money. making machine that and then they opened up all those other rooms satellite another one saga is still there, those actually good room alone. Yes, it could really be good. I play in a theater. That was the first time I I used the word count on stage and it did not do that. Are you right out of the gate and there was a long. It was a long half hour that half hour I had a gush open. His coat show me a gun in front of his wife, a really good times and I know what I was frightened- think it did you stag sweaty attack, oh yeah. He was right in front of us like this. Goes like this. Real quick saw the butter. They get a lover, love good
you how long you been married. Congratulations, I didn't mean that about your dress. Look! I'm like, like a circus tenure circuit dracula, nice leopard print I so case that you come back to new york, and yet you give give you get strong again, and then when you go back there like designing with five, because that's what it really got bad. It seems right No, I I know I went out. I went out David Christie, martin weir handling, bread, butler rice land, that her big thing- and I was being handled by right it's a management. They were like we're. Gonna come out, audition for bread, show No, it wasn't with them too. To rise was briefly here for a few months or what I member, Christy might have gone louis, such a liar. He lies. I got it. I don't reckon there will be the first to say that he did yanks anglia. So yes, well, and I know, is pretty good. I again own. We but we want to be in sitcom warrior in oh, but I was
but that was what we are trying to do. You become a headline you get a voice and then You get you shop, you wouldn't get away. Get that voice out there can be a sidekick on bread. Bullshit is that we did you play like worker at her place like a happy season. When I was there when the whole thing blow up, I watched it. You watch it at both. Oh, my god is the funniest thing endeavours yeah. Well, I don't love bread to this day broke. I look at you. and genius insanity, one of those people here I actually took the picture on the back of her book, her autobiography no yeah. I took the picture: oh yeah, Huge, I went to alabama a ban with her great rush into our researcher book. She calls me up this. I was still living in new york and she had just become big or I had an apartment. I was staying at somebody. I can't even remember now I was living the oppressor. She calls me one of the absent online. They watson report, bugger, look
We in the west Beria was very musica, I'm like yeah, who is a guide you met with the italian guy. He had a heroine promissory funny did stint on s an owl rope. oh vitality, vitality, and I interviewed him. Did you read who's love? Vitalik is gray, had a drug problem and he couldn't make it that night. So I open for brett butler here and then- while to l a well danny was probably trying to be clean. He probably just couldn't make it because he was too nervous, like I got it, but you're right that that was exactly the story of pressure sort of broke up, but I ended up becoming the of bread non her show and she flow me. She calls me when I was eleven and allay she goes. I got Tom cruise, his learjet implanted in yorkshire when something in new jersey. Next thing, I'm on Tom cruise's lay a jet with brett butler flying back to the east coast to open for a summer watch
and I thought and crazy and seated alone I got a little. I got a little taste of available, yeah yeah. I may just enough to tease me to keep me in the stupid business and I know some times. You feel that way. Don't you, you shouldn't, I should know, but I came out the eye but like in I've, even have that much success. You know like I never got into that rotation at all like this, have only and added desperation here, like don't let go out, and I love doing this radio stole my favorite thing. I like great as much yet and oh no. Definitely because you have the freedom you, nobody heckling funny conversationally right off between you and inspiration. Thanks, buddy, say you're doing so you're working with brett. So you saw the whole sort of like the the sad she used to write for fucking, dolly parton show I mean like her like that's right. I mean like it's weight. It's really interesting because a lot of people don't know about people who were with their life is like. I remember I was entire just interview, member John ridley, the black dude,
he did comedy for like six or seven years in new york. When we started yeah and then he just won the academy award for twelve years, a slave, yes, but he used to be a comic. He never talks about everytime. I see that name. Yeah, stupid imo was that the comic genre right is right, so I finally interviewed him just the other day and I'm like you know. I remember you. I remember his jokes, smart, jokes, great, jokes and, and he just like he, he just shut that part out of his. the resolution out of his brain. You know a childhood trauma, really chalk and every other area, but he's doing ok. I guess happy at one in the war did right so as I do the bread thing you're out now and what was the tony dancing? How did that? I'm a bow shah tomorrow, but seemed to make sense to me what Haiti face. Production is an aim is company area, and before I that I got a deal bilge, do I'm gonna build gross that work for the william morris agency. I do
amber who is over qualified to be like a showbiz agent right as it was like a financial with right and right right, but I'm with him for five minutes. He gets me deal for seventy five grand rubber, though newcastle. yeah yeah, whatever the fuck, I did turn at anything. Yeah steve painter david gamer. I love that. What will Steve palmer's brother wrote a great script for me? Yeah it was. It was going to be like a giuliani mayor and I am a childhood friend who runs his fleet of limos and shit and it was a in store anyways. It goes nowhere, but I gotta I gotta check out of there and then I don't even remember how the katy face production thing. They might have saw me up at montreal right, but I ended up going to tony danza house and sitting on the couch, don't drink, We can see and he's telling me how much you made a news, the boss and homage it may be met, work and if it is sought by unifying just came back from the bank, lovely eva, so personally committed a nicer here and
and then I had an audition that went nowhere and about a year later I had an audition for another show he was make it. I had to read with him and I guess I was like nervous because half way through the radio's like this and whites might be it in some way so that they do to make a comfortable someone you face. He goes like this. He licked his farm and why does you're gonna wiped my cheek like a heads up and somebody tommy, I e that's his trick. Yeah took to put you at ease. interesting everything wrong? Guy eddie, exactly those guys, tangles face what the fuck this guy doing. I want out of this I know that his house, in this beautiful house, dragon Heineken retorted the ship It's cool. I mean you sort of granted. I put that If you mirror to set two seconds after app what's next right, let's now look back on, I could do come on. It was correct right. My wife has been in love with tony Danza says he was tent right to this day. Yeah I had to go. Take her to see his one man show a couple of years ago or hear that collaboration, yeah, yeah yeah cost me like five fifty bucks
but I shall I go, was good tony, but Jesus Christ costs me and they have a nickel is lappet. Life gets a picture with em. I love started at his days. A funny thing: and yet so I by night and ninety five. I just met my group, my now wife here it's dating and I'm moving back to l a christine day of miami told me to go out there and she follows me out: come out, I'm not promise and I we just met she. Fuckin comes god dead. Thank god. He came out is again. I didn't know anybody out there. I checked out our overall, the well nothing else. She's decorated, my apartment, an inch, my wife, just I never had a chance to come back. You never had a fight, and that was the one. She's resided cheek, she saw me on hbo. You mean inspirational said to her sisters are marian ago. Why and then she saw me John, don't talk, show and I was plugging data, caroline. She came at the carolines which is where we internationally, on the one shot black and white in the eighteen fifty did not do
Dana Harvey hosted janine was on it. Wasn't this line of marked spain janine, not knots, bail handler? can me jimmy jot appetite ray romano bill bellamy bill bellamy in and Dana carvey was a host wow yeah. that's amazing. Maybe I'm handler fighting at our last. But I beg you pull the item. You allow measurements box, I don't always bill bellamy bellamy, yet more yeah, you yeah yeah, it's it's here's how it all happened. I think you know that the different so words in your talking is that we clearly mentioned a cup. guys right. They disappeared and the, we think is, is that the real dude, the ones that can help themselves they find a way? Yes, you know you find a way as you know, and as you know, you hope with not too embarrassing.
The figured out illegal. Hopefully you can live with it or you delusional enough to take that everything's, ok, right it right it's crazy to me, and no, I definitely it's been good to me now and it still is, and people respect you and, like you and louis, like I love when you know like louis, Is you in the in the show, all the time he doesn't have to do that no end, but it's a french love to aunt of Yomi yeah. It's a friendship now cause we go way back. I mean way back. Dude, yeah louis is one hundred years already. This business has a lot of generous people in it. It's a real like you come up with people and you have relationship with people. I don't know any better people and the thing about it is not like normal life is like, No, it's almost like. We were all in the same war together and when we
each other's langley, polly shit. I remember when you lost at nights. Yeah, that's right! There's a dead and I know you do know right, grew back. Then you got your arm back. You are holding Michael the other hands like Roy years. I was your hook attributed this almost said. It grew back now. It's been very good luck tonight to. INDIGO or three weekends ago I was at the ridgefield playhouse yeah, it's a hit in in connecticut yeah. It's a beautiful venue. Three hundred fifty people pay thirty something bucks to see me. Yeah, yeah good show it's. My favorite show yeah and I I told next time I shoot something I don't care if it's an expense Please I'm shoot at that there. It was fuckin beautiful people on the balcony. You was full vomica. The you come to see me yet they pay aid and and in and end it
and they listen in no way. This is no. You know if the theatres, how nice it is greater than the hang it on every punch shit. I mama under my breath guideline whether they catch that Beth. It was so, and I was home by quarter of eleven and I could pay for what paid to club or a week at the best. What is I mean? I can't complain. I have that, but I do anyways with the like now that I'm doing like bigger venues, I'm still nervous about it, but like when you start doing door deals at comedy clubs, and you realize this is what these fuckers were. Making. When I was starting out. I didn't you know, like you know. I remember when I got up when I was headline encounter comes in unknown and no one knew me. I was making fifteen hundred bucks for wednesday through Sunday mike I did it. I made it and then you do a door. Gm like wait. A minute here. Do you mean twenty years ago with these fuckers do in that? I now and then you wonder like why you like whack, I still on the road yet because he's doing door deal you make it a forger. I wish I was about That's all I want mark. That's all I want at this point. I won't stand a pistol. I hate that
lying in the trunk of a chip being on stage. Its is fine. Now, if not more than it was, I don't know how many jobs say about them than it was when I first started me too yeah, but I just want to put asses in the seats interest points. That's that's what it really comes down. That's all I want to do and and like I said that ridgefield thing just reinforces that that experience I had my second. I was there a year before, but it's beautiful now, because you got the you got the podcast. Any got visibility. Yarn, howard, of doing anything as you do at people that, like you and they come in he's, getting them there and getting the gig, and you know right, yeah right in and then the woods interesting by use. A lot of you don't know this and we know it because, like your pa, personality once you you decided to do to be completely opinionated you might alienate people, you don't know, you have your people and I know you like to alienate people but, like I still know you in Louisville noisy, like you're, a sweet guy, you're, good hearted guy, and you wrote for Chris rock. I mean I don't think people realize that you know that the the difference between an act and the difference
what you're doing and how aware you are. I'm not even yet- and I I looks you have two sometimes you have to do- is to give notice I had to be. I notice that everybody thinks one way politically right as this right, I'm a swim upstream right right, sometimes bad publicity is good bubble is an end. The tough crowded spirits was good and bad for me right got me noticed rain and there's a lot of people. Think like me, and they still, though right but yeah. But in our like a said today, but a time where you going to be an opinionated white male right, shut your mouth and swim with us a that little bit I'll be back in ireland. I understand that point of view, but I think that when it comes down to doing comedy they on your best night, you know you you're you're talking the crowd that likes you and you're having a good time you're not up there. Just spewing anger, You know me, I went and got up phase I. It was scary phrase. I frankly I wish there was a period there. Probably I think it happened. Do a lot of guys, you're right after nine eleven you, like everything's,
snapped into place in good point and and anger. You had had a depth to it and and been wasted thing, but you were guy scary for a couple years, maybe Nobody will tell you, though, a really here nobody. Why? Because we're kind make when when will cut consequences, as a friend of theirs, yeah and and when when he would hand it's like Heaven, like your family member, finally sit you down or whatever I mean so he's like a father figure yeah. That's when I started going to say it will, just I'm afraid some of the you know. I'd I'd have meltdowns at the comedy cellar, yeah, allied right and- and he goes I'm you know, I'm just afraid. That'll come back to bite you in the ass yeah. lay whatever and then I thought I knew that myself bright fun to be fun, to walk, to see how far I can go right, right partner that you know me he's dead. The buddha make it worth yes can I can I borrow yachting drink like David held it in his prime awry already language you just one of those like when I drank you know you get. You know someone else turns on like this.
And you probably know this from rehab- not how much it's what it does to a change, yeah, yeah and- and I'm not blaming her on that, because I'm not a fall down drunk, but I I actually gnome the guy, who runs a comedies hella, no hey buddy area in a year and two years ago he guzzles luck. you know how me and my father loved how you stick your thumb in the eye political correctness, because you make it in europe make an inherent on us now and you know I didn't I didn't, You one point of, as I said, I said, you're right, the sun nights, at least If you're feeling bad how I turned the room into a you know, yeah, I feel bad about driving home what I did or whatever I that's how I know it's not right right. I I have since sort of like kept distance from that room right just to give them I break right right. He didn't he wasn't going to suspend me, but you know he's got a lot of angry emails. Yeah! Isn't it weird, though, that hopefully, because I do that, like there's, there's there's a couple of reasons that happens where you actually feel bad? You knew that you know that you did something Yeah fucked up in any it's a real feeling and like I get it now, sometimes I
edit, where, like you know, any light, and you do in a room and you here with us is in you know: you're not gonna get hired the I like it it's way up. It's just the audience. It's not even anything you said, but there's party that sort of like well, I'm going to have to push harder. You want the reaction one way or the that's right, you want to connect, you want to wake them, the fuck up or something like. Sometimes when I'm bombing like or not bombing, but not doing as well as I want, I won't get off stage I'll stay up there for two fucking hours, the one thing I don't want them believe saying is like he's acquitted, yeah yeah, exactly like arts of this, where you gonna be that I'm just gonna stay iron, and get your monies worth something by, but there is that you Where you know you know you crossed the line, you I doubt fuck, you know, and then he sort of like there there's something about that weird guilt or itself aiding thing that, like its happens, a lot it's lot compelling. I m not sure what it is. Maybe it's away. We we feel better about ourselves,
I fucking know what the fuck. If I know something was wrong. When I I got an apartment on the upper east side. Right before I moved to l a and here in new york, knicks diner was right across the street corner, yes to eat. It's my first week in the apartment I go over there to have breakfast. Yes waitressing. She calls you a comedian and I go. I go yeah. I go ahead. You know that she goes. You call me a cunt. Comedy seller. For couple months ago I got don't spit. My ex husband was he did. I laughed about. I go look Have you? No, I there's no to apologize. I go about yeah. That's happened more than you realize more common! Now, don't spit my, spit my eggs place.
The yeah, but now, like my last hour, I put out that I was never another senseless killing. Yeah now gonna go to nyc, dep dot com selling well made. Thanks to. I went out to l a did corolla and betsy, but it's selling well good and the yet on that I was never political comic. Like Colin Quinn and I've said this on every podcast I've been interviewed on quince at best he goes no you're, not a political comma. He goes but nick. could we tell a joke mcdonald's? Joe? Can people know how about it exactly and so you know I am not a political calm cause your your your parents still around yeah. How did it go about everything it's kind of sent my dad was dislike diagnosed with alzheimer's last december, will be eighty in october and he'd know tat. but he tells me now how proud he is dead. You know I mean, isn't that interesting, they get softer and they get you know yeah, so the alzheimer's he says it and then he claims not to remember exactly I cooking
I got any recite one of my job, seven he, but he and my dad was the funny guy he's. That's the other thing. People ass, my influence I used to watch him ripping at a cook with my parents. Were my parents, friends, we double hope. Yet what do you do? does fall machine shop tool and die? My father's he was a business control of my uncle on his very successful machine shop tool and die my father's, the bookkeeper area. So when will you know he was a funny guy? He was the funny guy and I soon see him ripping. Making these people double over yeah yeah. Even you know you always had funny cracks watching t v, but he always left that shit. That was inappropriate. He always found the I tell a story about on my another senses: killing rep, macdonell
You know who, where kids are probably eight years old in the back of a station wagon the whole family's back then they're, like an old lady, came out with a trade she slept on. Some ice fell in my father's lap and his boss. He went out and helped her up. That's my dad. He was better. laughing it before he got out of the car and helped her use all right and we're all pointing and laughing just following his lead. You know: well it's it's! You know it's funny when it's fake, why? I guess why wouldn't have been funny if that happens exactly yeah so yeah he was my dad yeah this stuff, so he he'll be eighty and my mother's, like seventy eight and they're, well, they they My dad is alright. They happy when you make a living. I think most of the time they'll know exactly and I'm living in a nice house in westchester I mean I could have been worse right. You have seen it I've seen it until I get it can get really heartbreaking and sad and weep, and you- and I have both been through that does. It is the one thing that is not there. many people don't have who who don't pay their know there get really big and hold it. You know,
We don't know if he's gonna work, how? Yes, you know like our age, like as I had that when I start the pie I had having those moments where the Do you know what am I gonna wigan enter the job market? You know like our age, like as I had that when I start the package where you like, I don't. I can't what am I going to do YO. What am I going to do we're going to enter the job market at forty five, forty six? It does nothing. I still have this conversation. You do yeah, I yeah I mean fifty three and fifty three yeah. You know it's like, like I said, thank god, the gigs like richfield's yeah energy back into me, and the podcast, my blog is going Waiting the packet lawyer, maybe but maybe what you really only one- it's figured out how to monitor feel. Yet what were you can monetize it just about numbers everybody? I always say this. As you know my people, my website, go to radio and just keep elevating the podcast well yeah, maybe, but maybe what you're, the only one. That's figured out how to monetize yeah. Well, a few yeah. Well- Will you can monetize it just about numbers, but you
didn't know. You know, you know. No, no, teach me how to monetize Y know. I can tell you that, but you'll up what I was thinking, those it. What for they had the pod raw materials. I got Marin the best example of this, didn't know the key. You know no you'll teach me how to monetize it. Why not? I can tell you that it, but you know what I was thinking, though, is that what maybe you get to a point where you can have some sort? situation in the city. We drive down the interview people. He said getting easier every year to find that ultimately will become easier before we can talk about that. But I'm glad you do on our own thanks for talking to me. who the hell knows how of getting people to the god. Damn thing that's right there well a lot of people? Don't even know how to do that. It's like some big fucking question. You know like podcast how the how the what do you mean? Turn your computer. You have a computer, you fucking idiot. I know it's getting easier every year to find that ultimately will become easier but yeah. We can talk about that, but I'm glad you're doing all right and thanks for talking to me, why the fuck did that did not happen,
no. How beheld that's one thing: no one can manufacture. You see a lot of time. The guys like why the fuck that have like, because the shit in line up the thing that we don't have any control over. You know it is sometimes that- You know, you know how the hell. That's one thing. No one can manufacture. You see a lot of talented guys like why the fuck, that did not happen, because this My show line up the thing that we don't have any control over you know doing is sometimes The thing that comes right- you I just have get in you know I had a certain commission city for radio and in which is to begin this thing- and you know I grew my show- grew with media, like you know no one. It was yeah, there's a few guys doing it yeah, but it wasn't like a thing yeah and it just turned around yeah. Well I mean it's, kansas dog food, but you seem better personally but you seem better. Personally, which is good yeah, I am a little bit
I'm not a little piece of mine. I got a wife that sort of moves me out there in an keeps my anger in check and she goes don't don't call him back and leave that message. You gonna cautious, elf, twenty get. So I don't want you sit around the house. I have tweets mark of tweets where my fingers and eight from the button commit showbiz suicide, What do you have? I don't want you sitting around the house. I have tweets mark I've, read tweets where my fingers and aid from the button could commit showbiz suicide. industry, yeah yeah and she goes up what? What? What are you doing? I'm like a suicide guy with a gun to his head I'll, pull this one more word you'll be living back in that one bedroom in queens when she usually, she has like parental controls on your computer, we are not exactly. Let's I'm like a child who want to see point was great enemy, I'm gonna, deputy upon that comprise deputy ipod needs, go to jail just copy.
That's it. That's me nick that's nicht, apollo kind of a one of a kind that guy was good and also of unita show gotta deputy pod dotcom, slash guide. afi dot co over there. If you get the wtf to get a little on the back end of that one, you can get on the mailing list, you can check the calendar and also, if you're new, to the show go to wtf pod, dot com, slash guide to see everyone has been on the show you girls, who get hooked up with how it doubly thea pod dot com and I've just added a new poster. I dug up an old poster that I love that you can, yeah the site now sign it. If you buy it, it was a if on the black cats pack, packaging, the black cat to fire, the stairs, and I dug it up and now it's available again. Woe here come the pie. I was always one the planes posters and I dug it up so now Maybe it's your turn it off. so now I'm going to play guitar. So those
we're trying to sweep. Maybe you should turn it off.
Transcript generated on 2022-09-13.