Chelsea Handler is embarking on a brave new world with a weekly talk show on Netflix. But Marc wants to find out if this Chelsea is really any different than the last Chelsea. Awkwardness ensues. Plus, Jen Kirkman stops by to talk about her new book and figure out how she's grown since her last WTF appearance, nearly seven years ago.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
The guy I'd words do this: how are you what the burghers, what the fuck bodies, what the buccaneers, what the baxter's, what the pocket Alex what's happening? A mark marin. This is doubly t. Have my podcast welcome to the ship got a double had her today. Sometimes Do that. I think that most, do you understand what happens here at the show how it works this one's a little different in a way? Sometimes I'm sorry, I'm being rude. How are you doing the ha? Well, that's good! Oh really, I'm sorry to hear that Oh yeah, I mean you know just stay here to stay and day try to stay present. You do it. You can ok, I good good to see you too nice talking to you. I so we
work so today on the show: what do we got? Jen kirk and the very funny gnp turkmen stopped by to talk a bit about her new book. And then chelsea hand or stopped by to talk about her new showed now. Both gene in Chelsea have been on the deputy f before and sometimes, as you know, if some a friend of the show or a friend of mine somebody I like and they got something going on I'll. Do another interview we'll out do shorty, car majority short talk, so thou the plan with both japan and china. See but shall see me. I ended up to King longer,. And I decided to go and put it up as a whole thing, because there's interesting. I was a little tense.
It's explain more bout. It before I introduce her jen, of course, is Jen and what else is happening? I Ok. I am very grateful to the people who come to see the shows that the trip any house on these tuesday I'm doing I appreciate it. Last night was very exciting: things are taking shape sometimes I'm not always sure about whether not my creative process actually works. whether or not things are going to come together, but I've been doing about an hour and a half each performance, all of them vastly different, give or take a few bits and I'm trying to evolve it now. I record of these and the trick about that is. I have to listen. to thee recordings at some point, some trying to be responsible bout that, but I you appreciate you come out, I will pitch maya toward
It's a bit right now so you know that I'm gonna be around the trip. Any house continues. on june, twenty first in june, twenty eightth, two more tuesdays, I dont know if their tickets, I will be at the ice house here in pasadena down the street in LOS Angeles area on July. Third, at sunday, the night before July, for I'll be in spokane Washington July, seventh, eighth and ninth at the spokane comedy club. I will be in in salt lake city, utah July, fourteen fifteen and sixteen at wise guys alright I'll be at the comedy attic. That's in Bloomington indiana, joy, twenty, eight, twenty, nine and thirty. If all right, I will be its stand up live august. Eighteen, nineteen and choice
me in phoenix arizona. I'm doing one night in albert turkey, new mexico september third nets, benefits my home town, now be in rochester new york September night can ok that's! What's up for now, more dates. Coming for the bigger venues these are mostly club dates, exciting back into the trenches. Do the real work, how my god what's happening, man I told you guys about I gotta go. She rightly interview it's gonna, be up in in a couple weeks. Out was great. Some of you have seen are known, the twitter there that tell you, neo young, stop by that's gonna, be up soon It was a that was intense That was a that was a that was a those climb in a mountain climbing mount neo young. So look forward to that. But I was tell you about the
she really has east asia producer of a show. That's on adult swim, called check it out with doktor steve, brutal and that's gonna premier tomorrow night, an episode about cars and very funny? It's very odd the doktor, as it is one of the most compelling disturbing and hilarious. Comedic presence on television, in my opinion and enjoy, I see. Riley is involved with that. Show that that's a that's. He that's how he puts it. So that's how I'm going to so enjoy that here's a little update about me everything's, ok relationships, on pretty well how little fight is worth thing about fights, about being in a couple and in having an argument of things getting ugly. I gotta report
they help anybody else. I've become too old and through self aware to add to yell and scream as much as I used to I am. Capable of delivery? some yelling and screaming by day for shorter intervals and space out over many months, but the one thing forget about arguing in a relationship. Is that if you don't get to abusive and it isn't too petty so times you can break through to a new level with the person probably other ways to do it like I have nice conversation about needs or things better you might want to work on- is a couple of that type of stuff. Pro active sit downs that debt that mature Stu? This is not something that I am too good at so usually what happens with me as I wait till things build up to a festering heat with my heart and mind and then
something stupid among Dana. Just look my shit and then make the whole day fucked up yeah. So what I m saying is I ruined an afternoon date. and then it was sort of rebuilding but think we learn something about each other net. The sometimes It's the way it works depending on what kind. Person. You are sometimes if the fight Not too narrowly it can take you to a new place. Obviously, there's apologies required. And there, but a new understanding can be a can be met upon Go she aided if survive. the horrible outburst or abusive behaviour. Now what I'm emotional museum.
Pushing the anvil appeared not to justifying anything but TAT, I think, is just part of being a couple right ha. You hear me talk about this stuff. What I'm saying is we survived were bitch stronger for it and we learn some new things about each other and we were brought close because of it. That's how that worked hook. Jen kirkman! is a friend of the show and a friend of mine and she's here, if you want to hear jan on all w e f episodes you can get how premium account at deputy pod dot com and check out up so twenty eight for full our view and episode. One. Oh one for alive show that gmos on business continuation of the gens story. So this me, india, Jen jen her. Now book is, I know what I'm doing, and otherwise I tell myself that's available now. So this is me and Jen,
moreover, on the freeway that wouldn't have happened, lesson is grown. So much did Have your influence? Oh really. I had something to do with it. You have something to do with what actually you gave me a book once I don't know, if you remember, You did two things that I don't. If you know you did this for me, they're good, things. I'd love to hear about an hour bad, either way. You called me when asked. divorced near and Is it you got a lawyer, can I go now we're not doing that kind of thing. We ve already targets. We don't have anything anywhere we're just splitting. We don't have equally right and you're like now, that's bullshit One's gonna tell him to get a lawyer and then not young. Whose leaving who I go. Well, it's it's mutual that more me in there like bullshit, get along
he's getting. What did he as you know, is on his. But the lawyers they'll just do stuff. Without we had no sailing their client they're doing you don't know what you're doing here and understand what you're doing and they did in. They just want to string it out they and I I'm so glad I got one. It was stupid and- and we paid more the lawyers and we did to each other. And then you that's a whole racket, then you are either exeter called me in your like get this book on love addiction and I go I've been married. I dont have them a melody book here and I go now here- And then I got at anyone here and then I read like a year later, those, oh, my god. I have that kind of personality- and it was this lying dormant during the marriage which one of the things is when you get married, you are trying to,
be normal, and rightly you know do everything right and I thought it meant new got hookers and I didn't know about that kind of problems with nation ships can be these past pattern in their fins day recently kill a nation, call, an addiction, its. I think it's affliction, but I mean Why didn't mark appear? probably not I mean I know, you're doing ten other things that moment it wasn't these deep, intimate images. I dare do this, but I was we weren't friends were hanging out and it was so bizarre, like perhaps you were projecting but worked out well for me or something I don't know. I think I always felt connected to you. I feel like you're one of those people that you I watch, through things and after our first you know interview. You know I got more of a sense you but, like I, you know. I still remember like first meeting you I remember, like you were a kid almost it was. It It was like a some open, my
then show new york. As you knew me shit, you know I can I just I remember like a literally remember you like a kid. Well, I was twenty four. The kid, but I was thinking about, I feel like a kid I feel so a lot of my deep defenses. And control issues are being stripped away, and so I don't have all the new tools. Yet old, manipulative ones are gone, so unkind alike, ah, I just gonna raw herein yeah and then not crazy, rob it like. Are you sure, I'm just shy more. I think I feel like a kid now and I feel like. Oh god, I feel embarrassed about things that are. I deserve our normal like going to we show trial, embarrassed promoting it, and when I was twenty four, I thought that everything I have now isn't a lot, but it's fine is
I deserve that debt write you and I had this bravado, india god. I can't believe this change the shift. It's like freaky friday like. I should have some of that bravado now, but it's I don't know where it will cost around you're like a healthy amount, ria or just You know you might actually feel good about yourself. Oh, I do get back on its feet and that's what we're does it's weird to me? I feel good about yourself, not at other people right now. Are you too? I give you a sort of ashamed of it lighter like I do. I sort of like hey things are going. Ok, keyboard, yourselves, yeah you're, not catholic is that's a catholic thing. Is it and it's a big boston? Why won't? For me it's more like I know I don't wear like is very easy to misread my personalities, arrogant anyways like it. You can my intensity in a certain amount of intelligence? So if I actually feel good about myself, I gotta want
Paul to read it as I digress marin's that guy now I'll write you have to write you to control to a certain degree or essence like what people see if you can consolidate. Yes, eradicating, like all I can't get cocky rocky Adam You cocky well right, yeah, has a view, I'm afraid that within myself, that if I feel to get about myself I'll be like fuck that you know I will get cocky right on a slippery slope rights rights as I what we want stay humble if you can- and you appreciate things in the gratitude now that other stuff, I think it's pretty easy in a way the mere healthy enough say humble and allay khazar, to do is go outside of other duryas. Pierre rights sets homes in your life. I dont have this rep. If that's what we mean by humble, I think it's kind of easy. No, I think by humble, like what is that wording? I don't mean to be humbled by the other. People say ass for your own insecurity, but
sorta to remember. You know that every bunch of pr. I think it has something to do with being empathetic, that you know if you, if the the play, feel this level in the sense of like we're all people. You can see that and seating herself and others. Then you know you can, stay in a good place. You I think It's also, too, that it's looking at the bigger picture that anything someone my have was either I don't mean guy, literally, but was either going to happen. I wasn't going to wasn't going to do that. No, I don't mean a plan I just mean like in other words, yours, a site. You are it's. It's got nothing to do with nothing to do with the union. You were, I boy die here and that is not under control right. So at the same time, perhaps maybe the good things that have happened, the bad things, those weren't into your control, either sugar interview tired and accomplished something there was thing that made you or me or someone else achieve the thing and others who are
try angry at. Not some can't be too hard on yourself about it now because it it's also random anyone's vienna, has nothing to do with other people she had, but also you have to figure out a way to frame stuff as, like you things it happen, it would support to happen in retrospect. There's no other way to look at it gives you didn't want to have a bunch of regrets, so you know I am whatever. Ever was they ve got me here got me here and I'm ok. Sometimes I do Well, I do remember this one way I could have played my life that year and what would have happened, and I can't say that I dont come up with a better story. Sometimes what actually happened when I was a boy. What I have learned you seem: ok, you seem a little low, will fragile, I'm fragile, I'm alone fragile. but not like. I'm just well I think, I'm nervous about what life noise and nervous to be here to do a good job do a good job. We thought that what's goin on, Sometimes I, like,
times I get concerned. When I look at you, at her feet and I don't want my order is saying to a friend I hope he doesn't bring twitter. It so stupid it's stupid, but you and I are a lot alike. If you get us at the wrong moment and we engage well, that's true, it's it's going to be. You know it's very easy to to fight it too. and a grave at any one. He locking, which rolls are you working with your own mania or aggravation at the moment? You know you can't take it back my ears, I medicine in you can call me- and this is a policy which points out that as a percentage of bullshit, that I'm saying, but There are days I get on as a human and, unlike I can't with the kids who want free tickets. You know, like I get here with you and your fellow would see, but you ve developed a certain thing like you, you know we are whatever we put out there. Yet you everyone has access to us now, one where the other they can get to you yet and they can get. You very person away. If you engage with that, if you're, if you, if your car, but it's is whoever whoever you are needs that yeah data
engage like that. They're gonna, get to you. One way or the other. But where was I deploy, I'm trying to make is at its height, not to look at. It is as something very important and immediate and ultimately I'll it's like you know you We are dealing with one person. Well, my problem with the important and immediate is not but in those situations where it's because I wish I could prove we want how much I ignore. I tend to ignore the you're, not funny because I I really could prove to people how much you, let's That's right, you're! So, most of the time outside of when you are engaging with somebody, I am losing your fucking mind. They are not even paying attention will only. Let me I do understand it straight, because I do look at male com. on twitter and what they fight about, and it's usually about themselves and being funny, and I really feel like I'm doing, noticing I'm doing a feminist thing, which is I mostly get or react to
I'm not emotionally reacting yeah. I am, I will retweet some Very sexy someone says that they don't know is that unconscious sexism? The way we still talk to women- and I will put a comment about it blocked them, so I don't have to see any more from them and move on, and I do it to show the good guys who want to know what's going on that this happens in there. Not. I don't like to call trawls, because these are the real men we ve always dealt with and when people say they wouldn't say it. Face like while they ve set it to all our faces, all our lives and then the internet come it's a new year, but these are name. Was you coward but I dont know I get a lot of stuff from a down holding daughter and you're on your life Nobody. Alright me, it would not even knowing. If I'm anything about me, I want you to have a man you're, not gonna wrote like that without using less all time issue,
Then there is new shit, the younger guys, who just don't know why they don't like hilary. Then they don't want to read an article about subconscious sexism sure when after rice are, I think it's just all the women on twitter among things not sexes, but I'm saying that some of its wes malignant in in aggression, now we had, I don't feel its aggression and that's my hope point. I the conversation about system in the world, where I think men think its aggression and then we go home and cry it's more like white. Why is there always like this? We walked through the world like yeah, we're sending a textbook. There's sexism over there going to the banks and sexism its cons in and we're not like whom will create. I want to show them like this. It is part of our life just be aware of the just being aware of it, but there is no way on twitter right to assess tone, and so, if I have a bad day- and I say to someone I'll go fuck yourself, which I see china did you often Try, delete it right away, but the leading doesn't really does but if I do that, no one
but that is not the same way I feel. If so and says something culturally sexist or something, and I retweeted write, something I'm trying to sound professor. and I feel like if I do it about race it. We picked up everything like blood, goes on genius rant worth not the right. It's not the right platform arm to really express new wants or eight is point you new ones is lost. Yet and then you know and then I'll eat it. Just like people read the tone. However, they want to read yeah like I read it wrong. Sometimes I think you're just like sitting at home going now, and sometimes I'm just in line at whole foods and I'm I'm doing, I'm usually never home just computer, I'm always doing some. So why what's is waking? so at the twitter aside, yeah you're eve guy The another book it's out now it's coming second book, yeah yeah,
God that's why I know what I'm doing it lies. I tell myself how long the other book do it's funny the, book on the best seller list, but this one is sound. We want a better but didn't get analysed. The hazards was that first weakening its at first, we thank you we when it got on. It was first right and you can make it under that. You got it. You got a point that first weeks, it way it will allow you to say it's a best sally ann. What people down now- and I'm very honest about I went team- is the precept. Sales counteract it's the first weeks and it's on sale for eight months. Yet all of that sales counts as first week does even mean everyone bought it that first week, but but I had the second ones out and it was supposed to be like a post divorce burger, I'm turning forty and here's. My life and my editor wanted it to be like this advice. Go ladys, but I'm not that person,
I my circumstances change a lot and I changed a lot, so I never want to be even for the How many people know me the spokesperson for anything we're actually questioning yourself, I'm not like him, single. Ladies, have some chardonnay. I don't like that. Don't think they should if people are shared name go before I mean I enjoy pino ratio, but that whole thing of like I'm single when I'm single, because either I am choose will you be, or there is no around so one of the essence. But it's not a lifestyle right now get divorce and a fair aids had been as divorcing. A self that was stolen by some one that was going to reveal this effect So any nuke, a guy just stole my phone fox with casino. was the one time I got recognised from being on chelsea lately he found my phone and saw some text you knew I was married and he tried to blackmail
five thousand dollars real, and I got an undercover cop to walk with me. Outside a radio city music hall, to give the guy the phone with the money. give them a guy, the money for the phone and they were gonna get him. Then you ever stood up so in our guy found that no, thing ever happened. How come you fuckin lock on your phone who doesn't work? Therefore? It was like a blackberry was like so I didn't even know it was that long ago and then and then there's essays about traveling. World is a lady while not as a lady but just traveling. I happen to be lady, but there's an stories like that, and then I m a better relationship I got in and got out of it was. I mean I did it to force what five years ago, no longer really coiffeur. You know it's funny. Can it just for the hard core is out I sure and when I first came in here and we talked about as afraid to fly to australia and- and that was was that before you were divorced. I was just married six weeks,
and I went to australia and fell over that so much and fell in love with the fact that, oh, my god, I was scared at all right, and I felt like me and I went there is a part of me- I've never explored she's really independent and, oh my god, got married for security. Oh my god. I want to be married. That was just nine weeks after his merry, and I am it was hot, and when I hate about talking that they suffer writing that it is here but we felt the same way. I mean it's not like. He was begging me spend time with an begging me to sleep with them. He was justice not interested in me. I think he just again. and, as we surely go, tell ourselves that its painful for everybody involved is not a process in anybody wants to go through. I think he was more men when we split up that he had wasted. The time is very concerned with that
if he has a complex emotions, but it wasn't like. Oh my god, I want you, let's work it out so right away. You knew right right that they they you day, you might have done something out of fear, a disney fear and I think that he wouldn't be, the type of man and not anything wrong with the heat, is more of a stain one place. I do my work someday tire you no more fifty than me. Ninety is when I'm an orator and when's travel the world. I realise how has the comedy jen everything get I saw a little spike in things after aftermath, netflix special came at last year and then this past origin, maybe leaning over sensitive, maybe a hit cities too often, but it was like I can sell at three and fifty cedars here go near problem and then- Some as like we jump to the next level may be too quick. and it wasn't even like now- I can't sell five hundred. It was like to be alone even three people minor governor. So but I'm.
I I I think, on pursuing a very male career like I want Bill louis comedy career, I'm not seeing this funny ism. and I'm only in year. Nineteen, I need nineteen more saunter, it's a long time, but I feel, like I feel, like you want to comedy career. I mean in the sense that I want to be a road You won't be able to do. I don't wanna, be its television start right. I actually just want to be a common, and when I do tv, it's to support that right and I have to pitch tv shows them agents, don't drop me right and I now have to be on one to get people to come as you probably kind of still. What doesn't being having marin help. I think so I mean like there's a lot of me out there and a lot of different ways and between the podcast instead of spots in india in and marin yeah, there's definitely people that don't know or don't listen. The pie cast. It know me for marin now because of networks more than I have seen by fellow again, oh, it's
it's an amalgamation of things, yeah yeah. I think that to you do get on people's radar, it's very hard if you're not huge ever reason. That happens, which is sometimes unexplainable Yeah wide sir, people lodge in the public imagination in such a big way, as opposed to people that are sort of off to the side that people discover yeah, no matter how much of you is out there, no matter that I've been out there twenty five years every day someone going like. How did I not know about you- and I don't have- and I get excited, but unlike ok, instead of one person, tweeting me that I need like thousand more work. It's weird like tat. You may have to come to terms with certain things that you know you're life is going to be your wife. In terms of who's your coming out to see you, but you have it. It's not unlike the programme, you have control over their militarily and if you pushed too hard on you, you know you, you know you gay act,
baited about it. Yet that reads too, I think, the only area of my life that should be aggravating. Isn't it I'm sorry! I don't mean that we have all europe there. I mean either through a great to be out how do with any your bullshit home problems, and I, like my audiences in I like club soon, I don't know who they are and says. I just feel like. I feel very confident in myself as a stand by actually go. I did it, I this hard thing that you're not a lot of data and ladys. You know it's I want to be very, I don't wanna be the person that just place to their crowd. I want to be seen as a killer. I mean it's very masculine instinct to me I think or feminine. Maybe it is, but I feel I feel very proud when I'm just seen as com it. I I'm excited, I wanna keep
going. I like raw materials going good. I just feel like I just love nothing more, but not. I dont relate to I d No. I love it. I will never relate to people saying when they get a laugh. It's like heroin in you chasing it that is now. I just say I think. Maybe we have a common thing where it says: there's a freedom of mind and a total possession of self, and no there's a complete control, you know that it's all you and it's you know it's. up to me- and I can say whatever I want to say I own this space for as long as I hold it, that's a beautiful, weighed upon it, and I also think it's like not validation, like love you're right connecting connecting like, yes, other people of brightness. That's why they're ignorant funny you and I work our cursed with the same thing, which is like somehow or another. We ve sought the
comfort of rooms of strangers, to try to define who we are that's right, I'm comforted by. It is in no way an ego validation. What is a little, but I mean, but there is sort of white thing like I never when I started, was not. I didn't see myself as a song and dance manner and entertainer right. I needed to to figure out. You know what I thought, in what my point of view was- and he somehow discover myself in that way. Like it takes a very weird person to I need to. I need to go through self discovery. Being wit in very embarrassing situations by com. Strangers, yeah and and and then find enough find out who I am it's. It's self discovery thing for me and now I come comfortable so like I'm, I'm actually funnier than I have been previous. I think that's the thing too, and it doesn't matter how good your jokes are. If you're young you just look like a baby deer up there china. You think that, though you told you don't and that's what makes it even. I ready,
and that's why now like or even look at, I did london several years ago, and then I just did it this year and I want some it's better. Now we got the crowds are different. Like an idiot, it was you, it was your first big show There are probably raw nerve racking, oh god, it's so embarrassing. So both books her out what books are out and you not afraid to fly and your healthy and you just got through like relationship. That was a big learning thing and you stand up is good your little concern. About the draw this year, but upon come back around, I think and doing and other special hoping that will bring people out next year k. So I guess, Everything's good and probably the only thing left to do is drop dead on stage now now. The only thing left to do now is to keep it
it may be, have a healthy relationship. If you want your star think that products need to start thinking about, like you seem to like to write books. Oh. I already know my third book. Okay, there you go. What is it I can't say, cause I've even pitched it yet. But let's just say it's on the theme of what we gus I'll get to you moving more towards the have self help section. Well, sonata help anybody, that's not a way to sell it get going, don't pointed out, I'm in love her, it's gonna help me we're good, why levy janice nice, I loved you, thank you I Joe Kirk men and me talking about or new book, I know what I'm doing, and otherwise I tell myself you can get it so good at We can talk to chelsea hand ornament any. Do I need to explain some stuff splain it and he displayed some stuff so
me in Chelsea hand- or I like josie hand were- and I didn't interview with her years ago at her home and as she's them difficult and tough, and I owe a little intense maybe even scary to some I've always liked her after, since at first interview. maybe in like a little before that, but I liked her then neither I have to add new respect, for I think she did a great job with her old show by had her in here, and I I was surprised that she came over to to talk about it. new show on netflix. And I was just supposed to be short thing and then it just got weird man. It just got fucking weird. You know she has a certain way about her and down, and it was she was kind of me a bully and me a little bit, that's kind of her style and I just got a got compelled by it.
Just the tension was so so yoke and yet so like rich. I just wanted to stay in it and see if I could break through one to break through the soft centre of chelsea handwork. So I hung in there. I wanted you to have the full experience that I had, for whatever reason I did not stop taking it and I've tried to pushed through and for some reason I wanted Share that whole experience with you. I write her new network. Show chelsea streaming now their new episodes every week and you can so here the earlier deputy effort her on the on the how premium that's episode to seventy five. But this is me and chelsea handler feed during my humility taking a bit of it.
eaten Who did you? How are you haven't seen so la eyes, radio voice? I like do you d, feel very early? Is it if you like, when I hate, when I hear my voice to do that? I don't think I did that we did. I did not. I kinda like I talk manly my radio voice, your manly now, thank god, yeah yeah, except except when you walk through my house and when your cats huh, that was pretty emasculating just a tone of it made my dick funny just went away. I felt my dick go into my body. What did you do with the cats when obama came here? that was two thousand that was almost a deal breaker the who had the, but when they kind of when they had a good, bring the bomb dog into the house, I cut a deal at the secret service at tat. would do the back room by hand side to move the cats into the bedroom locked him in there. They did the dog,
took a mountain and they went in there and checked it out, really yeah they accommodated, because they knew you had cats. The right one. We have always your concern that obama was allergic or that they might in writing to the president flower that he might think you're pussy. Well, you know, I don't know. I think you talk to me for a little while, I wouldn't say a pussy. I mind pussy cusp, but I think when it comes right down to it, I'm not a pussy chelsea. like I'm, not a pussy chelsea veterinary added the extraordinarily my book, the it's me chelsea, I'm not a pussy. you should write a book, I've written to. Oh, it's all right! You don't need to keep up with other people's success or failures, know what they're doing with their life. It's it's really just how successful this is your podcast! I remember when you started your podcast. I know I came to your house yeah. I remember that was that was a couple of years in but like I wanted to talk to you so I drove up, and I was curious to see how you know you lived yeah. I remember the ad outside right.
yeah? I was nice in our memory had dead, a toilet that did a lot of stuff yeah. I see occasionally. I still I'm still kind of baffled by them that they're, you know it's got all kinds of temperatures and things yeah, japanese, toilets! Yeah! Do you like those? I don't use them, but my guests seem to really like them We're gonna want water shooting up my ass, like I'm, not I've never been interested in anything flying at my vagina or my ass on. So I've. Never operated it, but it does flush for you. Like I get up there, you don't flush. It is also time consuming the flashing eye more time consuming, but it's a nice perk have to think about it. You just get up and walk away right. Betting, like like everything in life, I know of a walk away at the end of the day on my gum, exhausted from flushing need know this, at the asking is kind of work, as you still have to dry it. It's I ask, Exactly all so it's like your cleaning yourself, you're, a joiner, peeing, and then you have to wipe anyway. So it's like it's a
you know I don't even like to flush. So can you invited me wasting my time waiting for writing my vagina after I know it's, it's disturbing from you to think about you just angrily, drawing your vagina! Well, that's good that we know that about you. I didn't think we'd get that right up front, yeah aversion to things being sorted into your asshole, her vagina! Thank you yeah one make its clear that the sturdy When people are quoting this. Yes,. So what's goin on what are you running around pitching the show not pitching itself in it? So No, I mean you know by promoting it, oh yeah yeah. I mean I've gotta, I'm just asking: don't get defensive oil, I didn't know if you thought I was pitching you a show of yeah. Sorry you. How do you know about my toiler the eyes now how I thought those novel idea already celebrity toilets. It's my new show for even or even promoting your show. You done the big shows. Have you done, though foulon thing yeah? I did that the first we had go,
fine right, did you're done, I academic. Now I don t those games are. Maybe we did who knows you know you do so many other issues you to remember what you did. I think he was courting. We did a our no, we did live tender or something or rice growers yeah. I did that eyelash generating fallon are due to bring these very excited many showing a puppy, but he's a good person. He hasn't eyes. You now comes in and talks to you before the show right excited yeah, just like you were on Chelsea lately round. I just remember, like being a chelsea waiting like you coming in just what you do. You need any warm bread or anything is very pleasant, yeah yeah, making baking things yeah, I guess yeah- is that a weird memory or like? Is that a wrong memory? Am I making that up? No, probably not I mean I dunno, what's in your head or what's in my head, what so this show it's on. Netflix Ok, editor, we done it's called chelsea here and it's it's it's there. It's happening, it's dreamings yards, it's up! It's there forever. Why? Yes,
My big question is because I did see some like promise for reared in different countries around the world. You're, like I didn't know whether for a while there I didn't know if you're on vacation or working while I was doing a little bit of both actively yeah. I had like a year I did these four documentaries for netflix and then I did. Then I started having for the show, because I wanted to show to be a kind of between a talk show and the d Commensurate with our gold or japan, I went This is your on the year off part where there is a further shall like wrath mexico city when japan to russia, that's offer the show just the places that I wouldn't go, because I wanted to see what going on there and if their worth seeing language. I ve never wanted to go to russia, so I thought it might be interesting to go. Someplace saint petersburg know it. Moscow. A really more was like gray latitude egg fat man, smoking cigarettes drinking all pretty women are. We must exploit the drinking now Really, no, I mean it was it. I was expecting to
really be blown away by russia because of the history, but you really have to go to saint petersburg right. That's the priority area. That's what he looks like disneyland yeah its eyes. They have all those bless clear now those buildings thereby Moscow's pretty cool, but I mean it wasn't cool. It was a long time a year and- and I wouldn't sam, I'm rushing to go back there. You know, russians are pretty rough. Yeah yeah not not warm and friendly. Now Would you do there? Those are good food at least or anything. I was really really rough because it was really bad. They serve everything smoke fish is that your heart monitor what now it's another recording thing. There's been fuckin up with my back yeah like something from nineteen. Eighty four: does it yeah that doesn't look modern are up to speed. So maybe that's why ass broken burgos nike? it just had it we're ancestor notes, a flash record
chelsea, I mean, I know, you're not familiar with the way with the rest of us live like you are surprised by a bag of snacks from trader jos you're like where? Is he services. No, I didn't. I just was interested in your shopping choices. What do the rest of you live? What am I the queen and fucking my you're the queen of something. No I'm not I'm! You live like a well. I don't live one matter tat! That's for porthos, directly, jerkily, we rosemary boy! That's how I was looking at your snacks. I was looking to see what kind of food to eat. Well, your ball, we go back in the house. I'll show you the whole fridge. I just went shopping. It's exciting. I bought a roast chicken, I pulled it apart chicken that idea right is dead so russia, miami It's there. I want to go there: oh yeah, we all have roots in russia, yeah yeah. So anyway we went to all these places. We went to we filmed just a bunch of different things in different cities and just to highlighting kind of cultural differences, and I went to
if a training in Tokyo I went to ITALY, how did you find it's fun that was stupid and fun and silly like I wanted to be? I want to do a show. That's you know informative, while also being an idiot, so it's kind of like that's what we were. believe for american abroad abroad abroad abroad have a little bit, but also you know, I'm at a different point. In my life I wanna see different kind of show and netflix is so great. They let you do whatever you want. So I was like. Let's go to all these places, then we'll drop the pieces in the show throughout the show. So that's the word, so and how does it work in terms of is a weekly or you do it daily now? Would you three shows shadowy coquet stream, wednesday, thursday friday, ok, so now you ve got content in the can and you're gonna do content week to week as well yeah. We do it. We got work. On monday, we and then we put a show on- we drop in field pieces from stuff we shot for basically like four months and there we shot tons of other piece
in town or your. I went to florida and interviewed voters and de la bunch of election staff so that we can cover broader topics and not have it be so celebrity centric, which was what board the shit out of me my old show, so we ve been up and running for like hurry fuck, you did there for some time now, but now it's like now, it's chow, cause you're starting a new, shall it's a whole different kind of thing and you ve got to figure out the kings make things, work and you're like ok. This doesn't work, this works, so it's, but if you know you're working twelve hours days, but its most fulfilling twelve hours days, I've had an year this idea, like ok fuck, I do know what I'm doing here now. What are you doing? Ok about this, you know you're running the show is so exciting in so many ways. You know simply some people hate it. Some people love annually are ok. What do I do are we on the right track and you get your footing a little bit and then you could take two steps back like fuck. it sucks and then you're wait. Now I got it. You know that whole thing it can blow you it's just blows you around here I little kind boning I held in fact an exciting year in your learning things your way out of a comfort zone. It seems
yea. I am out of my comfort zone totally and sewed, so you have these segment, he taped out in the world yeah, do you what's the guest roster? Do you have guessing studio yeah? We had a you know. We have like pie like friday with tonight's show tonight show They stream at twelve oman Pacific times said tonight. Is this guy Jacob silver off from MSNBC? He explained to me what super delegates are. Oh and like on a board here. Did you get it can hide? We had. I mean I gotta. I do I mean I got ya know more than I did yesterday. That's good and then you know we have megan fox and, and then I think we started out with the whole hilary benn gauzy scandal of explained that right way, So my writers, I like what happened and what it means because people I feel like with this. What I wanted to accomplish with a show is constantly explaining People are always pretending they know about you. Do you hear about stories you hear about like hilary and emails and in, but you don't really get undressed. And unless you're reading the paper every single day keeping up with it. So I kind of like one
learn and dumb it down and be like ok seriously. What the fuck is a super. I was right who are that rights? Are you being taught your kind of representing the rest of us or if I go good shells he's going to figure this out our yeah exactly, I hope so, and do you feel like a better person because of it? I feel more research the ball yeah yeah, that's good! I felt really irresponsible mild shall show like sitting in their servicing that machine and I just felt kind of ikey at the end? I just like this is that right that I'm a morally like I mean I do have morals. I have. I have very strong words, but not that I feel some big responsibility to like the nation oh, you know no alone or in ashraf immunity, but I felt a responsibility to myself, like ok, if you're going to make this kind of money and have this kind of life to be a little bit more responsible with what europe's putting out there right you. I mean I imagine that the issue we got to appoint. We like again like it. You know I gave you just becomes I go of Jan it just that you can't get out of
same fucking, we'll how- and there are four year there are times where you do you, like some things, funny for a while and then it becomes on funny and then it becomes. If you wait just enough time, it becomes funny again here and then once you're done with that some phase of funding this you're done right, you have a girl, I'm so sorry about your island, where I live right because it kept coming back to the first part and it's a really yeah yeah well, I m glad you well. You got out pretty smoothly, it seemed and out of it's it's! So it's no problem whatsoever. I have such a big mouth, I'm just constantly going. Oh god. I wish. I understand why people are so annoyed with me yeah. You can't just you know. You're talking, you said things like. I have no filters, you don't realize
that sound bite is gonna, be replayed and rewritten and then misconstrued and then and then construed in the right way. Are you really I ran along after every one? Thirty or so I ve given up on it. I'm like filtering myself on my cook is assured anymore. You know what everybody knows. What do I mean? Anyone who knows me knows that that's just the way it's gonna be now when you first started doing this show. Was it where you like panicked? Worry. You nervous worry, you know it. I always get really like. I mean my whole careers kind of in based on starting out rough everything. starts rough mighty show every one pan we are only owes the terrible here and is a good omen, minor ox. Everyone was like. I, there were terrible reviews, but then they were number one in the new york times is best seller less, it's always kind of. My thing, I've never been a critic's darling. So I kind of told netflix cause the dock, there I did. I did to start before part documentary series called chelsea does for netflix and they ve got a lot of really good
you see. I was like a fuck fuck fuck and try to that even now. Listen when this talk show starts is going to be a big experimental, find my footing, but it's not gonna happen right away. It's gonna be the show that I wanted to be right away, and I don't you get the wrong idea about those great reviews. Her chelsea does because it's gonna be It shall make people hate me, and you know it like that. I'm very divisive and there like, oh, don't worry, we believe in you. We favour magnano. You really need to not get legged cost It's only to suck to here, maybe I'll, never ultimately site, but I gotta get my shit together. I've gotta get my groove on its like anybody, you gotta know no, there's no way in theirs and its grown up to know the that's unavoidable. When you start a new thing, like you know that I dunno how to do this. Like this yeah, so like you're, going to have to wait, yeah wait for me to get my shit together right, you have to I. like when I was shooting them, the tv show enough. I had a fuckin act, but I knew I would get it I was good enough, but you add the shops
actually I right reign was areas yeah and netflix is so supportive in so great that, like that, you know they're there. funny? Because, like no? No, you know, and they I mean they couldn't be of a couldn't, be a better place to work, because you feel a that you have you don't have. The panic like, like you were on the network like rowan I don't get when right well, when it awaiting at issue, is not bad or even tell you how many of you know where I can they don't even, but it's in a hundred a ninety country right. So it's a huge platform. You ve got your being fed, they are shows goin out two of em yeah legend or lay translated after I tabled with their input the show, then they translate to twenty different languages I don't think they do that with all their content. I think networks are in regional networks have different content years ago, out there bow and since the first global talks, however wow yet so have you watched it in german now, none that board. Did you go to germany? I was in germany.
We can actually last weekend yeah I went I bought it. I was in spain, where you going. I my I I was at nice. Great was, after the show no. I haven't. I bought a house in majorca, really yeah like on the water hm whew. I dated two summers ago, like two months after equity. I went on this trip for my girlfriend's birthday and I just was like this fucking place is awesome. If I find a house I'm going to buy it, no matter what and it was like this abandoned seaside villa and I just bought it and now it's done and it's beautiful my whole family's going without me, because I can't go now, you got it all fixed up, yeah, it's all ready to go, and yet you haven't been there since been all fixed up. I just went to check and sure everything was cool I was like. Is this really happening? I mean you know, people will tell you. No one's ever had a good story about a contractor or construction. I mean I've ridden my house here took like three years and they finished. Early and gave me money back what the spanish as like, why there are given extra the fifteen thousand euro
What's the cra on my key brett fucking grateful? I am wow, there are the best and you gotta go there to make sure that they did everything right like this. I just wanted to look at the house and see that it was in one piece for her. Yes, vote, no, not yet you're going to get a boat, think I'll get a boat. Yeah it'd be nice right. Yeah, but just my target and I thought what are they gonna get about Mary Louise into boats now louis CK is a that that's funny. I wouldn't picture him on a bow. I know right, but he's got a couple of boats got a shitty boat, a nice boat and he goes out and he picture him. Like fishing people. Tell me about that stuff away. Got my first thought. As I got a boat, I'm like what what do you do with it? When it's not being used just sits there yeah, it does basically yeah. That makes me nervous, So wait! So do you go other places in vain? The everybody alone in the air barcelona in my spanish to you speak spanish Well, let me know I not fluently, but I can speak like I've studied spanish for the last two years. Really here would like a tutor and stuff all that smell.
So I just as they are and they end up spending on necessary, though caught at the nice, as he does to the idea of where women This happened with eyes out. I'm learning spanish to study every day. Well, that's nice, and he did that just to communicate with people in your life now. I know not relays goes you one learns room now. I just want it well, yeah I mean in spain. I want to learn to know how to speak when I'm in spain- I can get by in a bar or restaurant, so you're planning on spending a lot of time. But that's that's the exit strategy. That's probably my exit strategy yeah. So what was mexico city? gonna scare to go there now be grateful. The airfoil culturally rich thereabout to build a huge airport down there. So that's gonna change everything and I you know with the whole donald trump thing and everything it just makes me. So I rate than ironic like go and show. I wanted to just kind of highlight the great beautiful things about mexico and get such a bad rap people. You know I've. May I wish you. The cartels are very dangerous, but severe. Echo city: it's not in writing the custody, there's not a lot of crime and max variety
say, walk around in the middle the night by yourself by we were there for seven days, you know, and it was beautiful and it's they're beautiful people and I wanted to go apologize. our country kind to gag. Did you go to the well we'll hocker? Now, let's go I have been reading haka, though pretty right, yeah yeah, there's a lot of beautiful places in mexico yeah. I went there once and I really liked it, but I do get scared about the cartel situation. Why don't you bring your cat with you when you go next time? That's very fun yeah. Maybe I will bring my cat with me to protect me chelsea here too sees walking around a massacre void nice to you I'll, take it take it. You go ahead, enjoy your little sheltered life on europe, various things sheltered about my life oak. I go everywhere. I just decided I like luxury sure our we have to spend
yourself, I spent anything. I've been around the block and I decided I like the block. I live on good, focusing very pro european government. Ever said that before now, I've never said that really now I swear to you that just came flying rate. I, like myself, I am not going to faint I'm not fighting with you know. I know you're, not because I like you, you just want to hurt me and I don't know my resistance. Why is this a hammer sitting right for you to behave yourself? fuckin headway, ok, wait! I want to know more about other places where and how things now I've been. Japan, though, is great tokyo, amazing Macedonia for city. Will the infrastructure is crazy, because although the freeways or gave guests, I guess that's a return for them all the but big freeways are they're kind of built on top of each other. So basically like it's like a video game because you're forty stories up
in between all the skyscrapers on it's highway? You are in a car, yeah and a car, so he she may have like three levels of highways and they all kind of intersect and crossover and so you're going and they have like a little bit there's a bay. there, you there's water, obviously, but they have a big port. So you're, like I mean you ve, feeling you're driving, in you know whatever I'm. Yes, like the jet since a little bag area and everything's, really organizers, no crime, everything's clean their education rate. Like ninety nine percent well and they have like a three percent. Ices dropout rate, I mean ninety nine percent literacy rate say it's like a shame, driven ambition, isn't it like if you, if you drop out, then you're supposed to just go away somewhere and kill yourself. I think that's worse than china, but Tokyo is a pretty cool city. Did you go to china? Know I've been to china, but not for the show. I went to china just with a bunch of friends which shanghai out yeah, I was in beijing pretty heavy hill yeah. They can't breathe yeah yeah. I find the right way
while we were there are like on a stop over. We were going to extra shark diving, we went scuba, diving in french polynesia, big group of friends of mine and I went to, and so it was kind of like on our way. There were like ok. Where do we go? He went shark, diving yeah. I was so when you say big group of friends. This sort of, like you call the friends. You grew up with and say, guess what I shouted a plain we're going somewhere now I say: That's what I started: a boat, we're going somewhere boat, yellow a yacht, Like a sally I like in the middle of nowhere, and we all want scuba diving for we all got certified somewhere here and we whence diving with sharks every day for like two hours scrape is fuckin fun. I mean scary a shit and I don't get scared a lot like I'm used to being fearful and then I just like power through it. I am geared to understand that nerves are good, I work well under, but I was like almost hyperventilate. under the water, because it's fuckin scary where's, the footage of you, hyperventilating, ventilating reserves have any, because I had some start now. We are in a cage now
these are sharks that don't bother you. You go down with master divers and you come on your boat every morning and then they take you out and group. There are ten of us on the boat and nine of my friends had one diver with them I have the other one, because I need somebody to fucking hold my hand and it worked out yeah the guy was like you know. I mean he really had to babysit me because you panic and you can't go right up when you're scuba diving cause you have to equalize. So if you freak out, you get the Ben yes, so you got sit there and like breathing. Without your moss, your masking get foggy. Your mouth. Peace can come out, you you know, breathing water, you gotta relieve you shit together and I'm not good with anything with you. and manual labor adjusting. So I just would like listen buddy. You have actually our eyes on me. I can't be possible for anything that happens to me under this water. You fuck and take care of me like a babe like an adult, be underwater babysitter you given in the decades africa to pronounce relate, I went from it.
It saved me. I was like I'm going to I'm going to fuck this guy like shaved. You yeah, he saved me because I was freaking out and I couldn't clear. My mask started getting a little guy, so embarrassing heart. I really lost my cool yeah and he came and he just like shoved my eye mask right onto my face and was like stop, and I looked at him and I'm like immediately when that happens. When you're a girl you wanna have sex with that person. You're, like oh, my god, you're my doctor to save my life. Thank you. Did you fuck him underwater know, because once we got up and he took his mask off, I was like oh fuck, I'm not fucking time, but you give him a few bucks. Do it's not reared at all caravans. Over now, oh yeah, I get a mighty the harnessing of everybody money. Hemming, that's the only thing I have to offer our money terrible. Did you tell him I was lucky, but now he only barely spoke english, so south guy, because he he like you know he was gesticulating to be under the water like do you want to go up like you're freaking out, and I just said no, I want to stay because I have to get em like I wanted to just figure it out, but I can't write the out I'll, never forgive myself, and so I said no
He was holding me like looking at me and I'm dislike, and you have this big mask over your face. Could so I criminally see what he looked like you, and then we were basically once I was calm down. Here is a good swimming underwater holding hands and my friends Forgive me like, oh my god, of course, they're like oh she's, going to fuck the sky, but I didn't. Actually they didn't know what really happened today. Well, they all know what happened after that, but they didn't see you as in your nature, they kind of cleared out there. Like I dunno, because out of all of my friends, nobody thought I would have an issue with you know you get Fine, you haven't leona yeah good act and minimise the huge plus huge crazy, but- and I understand that the that idea- gee where you just sort of, if you're afraid you just got control yourself in and get out, yeah yeah push through it
I see my way you learn what you can do over the goods, because when you back down, you feel you have no idea. Yeah you're ashamed yourself, and then you just beat the shit out of yourself, which is not as interesting is kind of moving through it. Like I remember when I first started doing stand up and I would get really sick. Area before I would go on. There were a couple couple times where I've just I would just leave idyllic fuck it. This is an open mind, no one's gonna I leave between man me, I'm fucking do it and I felt so gross one then do it yeah, because you just gave up yeah. So yeah you're, not a pussy! You have dogs right, your dog, lady right, big dogs. Yeah. That's real women have dogs, ok, sure, that's fine to quotable on a card of some kind. I just made that up to a lawyer for congenial like lightning, so we're, ok, tommy! but more places where he went on the show. We got russia regarding russia
flora and fauna area, that's adventure, and while I was actually I know it is like a different fucking. Can I know my mother wizards aware in hollywood got all Florida is just like that? right now, such a nice climate. I don't understand why they can't it's. I think it's the last stop for a lot of One reason is exact even get out or that's. The last of the item from new jersey saw my Listen, I know about all right where you from my family. My mother's from panting likes my files from jersey city ad infinitum. at the time there, but you know more county mars count exactly idle. I mean I dont miss new jersey as a lot of new jersey in florida. That's exactly that's what I was saying: that's why I brought it up a lot of new jersey's. Yes, they're all down there. Eventually, it's interesting the way people migrate, most especially Jews, never stop cited in Florida. That's where we're going. That's the big pay off the aren't. I know that's what you have to
We can all live you getting their good moving, getting getting hondo that good, jumping off point out an lauderdale yeah, for at lahti that will withstand up. You know you have to reform and all those theirs. I won't go more cities in florida, the night like new jersey. You know that you just said: pumpkin lakes, I've never heard of that and we heard weighing way network either, but in new jersey, such a small state, there are so many cities, I've never heard of a new jersey, everyone's gone everywhere, I metres from new jersey right. I never meet anybody. That's from you know florida reaction down, I mean I did with a guy from floor. But like new jersey, there are a lot of cities in florida and just when you think you ve been to them all another one pops up, I don't I don't performed on there. I don't know what's down there, I don't understand. Where do you like to perform all the rigorous
You know I mean I liked to go like my favorite out your danvers good, that common gloves good. I like going to seattle, portland san francisco, I just how guys ready I was city was good. Like minneapolis thinking I went in minneapolis, his grey mustang, madison, wisconsin's, good, taoist, say yeah, cain. Dallas It's a madison once and I was like I called my friend who was from wisconsin was like. I was looking at the room service menu and I called her and said what are kurds, what the fuck is a cheese curd. She said it's fried like squares of balls of cheese, and then I ordered like three does of course, now places so said, Andrea hoof, who thought of that people in wisconsin later that you're making? When reading my my shoe on the chair, I'm sorry you're, ok, don't freak out, keep your feet where I can see that no cash elsie whenever you want just so I
what about gary producing television other than your show. Now that I'm doing my, shall only that's all I'm doing right now, I'm ok, I'm doing my show here not producing shows- and you shouldn't aware here- sony yeah over at it in culver city. It's the best lot ever yeah, oh god, yet, like the truman, show people a picnic gang theirs because they have happy hour on thursday night. Similarly, like they have like normal city it's a whole little city, but it's it's all completely fraudulent, but its very happy making. in a really good mood when you're on the lot, everybody s and I'm so happy, I get there at like seven m. They ve got a big, huge, Jim everybody europe's out there. They ve got like three captives: those yogurt land, people are happy. My dogs run around without leashes. Opponents say that they're supposed to be on leashes me. I will scratch
Please edit that out, I don't want a problem. You're worried about the dogs, yeah. Okay, that's a new chelsea! Do you ever walk your cats on a leash, get the fuck outta here rather than done talking to you know my cats, when we want to want to hear by heroism. Do you want to hear about? powerful animals. I got a cat that I can't touch living under my house to black cat, its wild and its death totally death. Then that catch elsie is my here. well, how does it live out here were coyotes with all this other shit under the fucking house now goes out. I see it sometimes it, but it's been around for years. That's a powerful animal. Okay and also I it does fast. Cats are ya:
cats. I'm gonna get eaten by a colonial, whether they want and what will you clearly have never owned a cat and mouse Andrew I've. Never I've under kyoto, the area in what it did he not a cab? Why can account of so much faster than I own warner, em, there's pack securities? They got a whole game. They play in the wide like africa, exactly dogs yeah. So that's all I'm saying is that don't underestimate cats and this- aren't so fucking needy though we have to have an animal. The just wants to be touched in loved right. I can live with cats, who just don't give a fuck about me most of the time, but the outcome of We divvy up their. You know their affection like that, because a movie is that what you call it? I don't remember another word rag doll, doll it out dole it out all it out occasionally and write well good for you. You should give yourself a pat on the back. I am because I'm masculine to have two cats by the way, because, yes is it one cat,
count the cat, that's under the house at your countenance. No there's two in the house and there's no now their luck in three now three cat, that's right and in a highly in part the LAO get for you. Yet it is good for me. It's great things are vacant, obviously working out gratefully are working on. These are choices I make chelsea you give sounds like you're worlds, pretty large and you're, just you just one disaster away from a house falling into God, the emotion in another country. I don't have to worry about tat you have out so people know you have a heart care. When I laugh really hearted silent, trying to help your viewers, my viewers now? I would require perception of what we're doing here do tat. Now, I doubt actual. I doubt you throw me off when you got when you're so passionate about cats, just garbage, I'm starting to think of all the differ a man in my life, but none of them I can now who's up and not one that I hooked up with this. I had
this guy is gonna, hurt me somehow yeah now, ok, there! this guy new york, those that I had it hooked up with william to dinner another night. Every word and I went back to his apartment and he had a mid size pool like not one of those bull poodles. As I had a little, I think they're called a micro poodle or some here hey, wait. The cat I had already had sex with the skies. I was planning on having sex with him again, dog had his paws on and his shoulder the sky, shoulder like they had some weird affectionate thing going on at one point. I looked over it and the man had his eyes closed at the same time as the dogs eyes were closed. was if you'll break it all. I can't find this guy see. I would so much rather be a cat guy. Then a fuckin poodle. Guy, like it's like. I do with
sure why what were smaller dog now now, I'm I'm not acceptable. Alright! Alright, none are you're right about that. Listen, I'm not saying that a non saying anything actually you're just super defensive about it. great idea. I did call you a pussy a couple of times, but that would have happened whether you had a cat or not. I know it's just sort of the way you greet people, you know it's nice, it's warm. It felt good to hear that from you. I understand I understand, Oh, why so what happens? And I just in it, for how, on the show three years, ninety episodes a year three years holy shit, I've got nine under my belt of god. A one left to go and have only resort no nine year, so you have employed, rear and you're not doing anything else. Well, we'll see once I get we know but, sir, I got my wheels under me. Who knows all do stuff, but you know I'm really into doing something special here. I want to do exactly like you are in. It sounds like you're doing something different for you and sounds like you're becoming a better person which I think is a job
me that you should really kind of like focus on his son on the show like for all those people that may not like you. Maybe they don't know the real chelsea. This is your opportunity to say: hey yo fuck, you I'm but I am opening my mind, my heart to the world. Thank you, yak is. Are you do another half course in doing that, but I don't do that to make people like you Try to make. I must say that, but I'm just saying that, like wine, I bring them into your. You know my more tax. Your new vulnerability is out what it is, I don't know sometimes refocus on our. Maybe maybe you should focus on. I am. I am trying to bring one can yet. I guess I can walk locus, or maybe you should take. A glass is often take a better thought that ok, oh yeah, yeah there, it is it's all blurry and ill defined That's. Your own ability is very high that is exactly right copies over it out. Well, I have seen use nice to talk to you and we d feel confident with what we did here.
Not? But what? What? What? What do you want to cover nothing? I don't care about covering anything, but why why you like that Well, I mean: what are you happy? Are you happy sometimes what are you? Last summer I talked to you. You said this is a couple of years ago. right maybe four years ago I did I'm really bad attack names, but you said you ve chronically unhappy. I would, though, uses word. No, I'm paraphrasing grow, but you are. You definitely said I you seem like you said to me. You seem like you have a really happy life like you're, really into your life, and you said you drew the comparison that you are always into my better. Now I am happier are medicated no view. No, certainly not I mean I, I don't take medication you drinking now, like today, ok! So now I'm not medicated, and I think that because of the successive like things in that, like my life is like a lot of things, kind of worked out and the low happier
that's good. I don't really know what to do with it while like what would you wanted like if without that we were on that, like what am I going to soar sounds like we're you're out when you quit your show like me, you have these opportunities to sort of do things that are fun and and do them creatively like I'm just I'm sorta thinking about that stuff, like I'm like really close to buying a house, I'm a yorker! Oh really, I know of one that's for sale really well for your budget yeah, it's the other side of the island, the houseboat. What do you think would make you you? I could see you living on a houseboat by the houseboats in copenhagen. Have you been in copenhagen? We went to copenhagen good place for you yeah. I went there whew, I kind of. the idea of it. I want to go to scandinavia in general, yeah, copenhagen, Amsterdam. I recently went ah ha that'd, be fun. Yeah biking, you can bike. Can you ride a bicycle? Yes, I can really. What do you think? I am I'm not poetic just cause. I have cats or can't ride a bike. I can ride a bike. I can fuck pretty well. I do things that men do
So do you think that he would be happier if you found somebody to share your life words like I'm lament aiding somebody in its good, that's good, but no, I think it's a comedian, no painter, but I think I m sure last year we invite you got out his painter. Were you thinking like our how much you, because I have some work and even now, and I wonder if she knew the guy who paints my his name is oscar alaska, but she does. She know: shreck painted outlier good, sounds perfect for you, I'm doing all right yeah still want to know what I would like to do for fun. Well, what do you do for fun the play guitar Like I yeah I go to theatre lately, I've been seeing some theatre in new york like some plays like why hamilton I go see that I saw the humans. How is that good? And I saw the flake and I saw John I've, because I interviewed any baker and stephen carom and I d get to go see hamilton, which I, like. I dont fully admit that I, like
musicals by always cry either we hadn't, even if it's not safe. I'm just overwhelmed with how much the action is going on and people singing. Sorry you. I know it's a lot. Riley those fuckin people do that every day, it's crazy! It's incredible! Every day. I don't understand how people campaign like this, like watching the selection. I might How did they get up every day and fuckin do that? I know like you: have the on some sort of special medical clinton? Doesn't fuckin go off on people I dunno and lose her cool or just get exhausted and sick and Harry Sanders is like seventy four he's. Not I know how can he show up every day? Will you do it Give it up on a show, that's nothing! I can be an asshole. They can't be assholes right. They have to try and get people to vote for that right, I believe so I think, I'm when you're driven by that when you have that window of opportunity to fuck and do what you do it behaves gotta, be tired. He must be exhausted the off I'm figure. things to do. I think on travel obey, I think about actually like maybe find a place to live other than here for the exit strategy. But
What I do what he can just sit so cool like. I will I'm great because I drank so I can sit anywhere in the book. I write to read what was the I'll ask a thing like I was great Have you done? I owe you should do it? I've been several on china, you don't and people do it sober people? Do it all time you're not like all the time they do. No times like drug video weekly, you know so much I've heard it and a lot of people become sober after they do. I know I heard it's about. A liberal are also put a brain cleaner, why I've got my ours and I got my new york and drinking hours, and so what are you? did you like copenhagen seems to me or amsterdam seems like a place. You would like to hang out to be honest with you. I like to hang out, listen to music think eat some things dick around with this or that around the house. I don't have any big, but I would like to travel in that sounds exciting to me to watch. You shall, because I want to do that. The only thing that's from travelling. Is the actual travel I like when I get to appoint you like that plane ride,
I don't mind the play my bit. There's a lot of dread in the organization of anything like what are we gonna do what side of the street you drive on their journey, you know, just stupid neurotic shit you're neurotics erotic, so I just can plop off anywhere and I don't care, but I also pay people to do everything for me. Right really do anything less. Would you pay people to do things for me? yeah yeah yeah. We were never mortal yeah. There's a lot of people over this stuff for may. Have the plane pick me up. I would be happy Do I share all of my people with everybody. I know really yeah. Of course my friends use my assistance. Everybody does oh okay, yeah, I'm not selfish. Ever I don't think you are, and I would never be I think that's the one thing that dead. That is counter intuitive, that's the one thing that makes you charming daring, is that you seem to treat people very next week. If you didn't do it,
it'd, be a fucking monster. I know you do know that right. Well, I have a bad yeah people. Think I'm much worse than I am. I know I was very impressed at your house when I saw the way you treated the people that work for you and I think you had some drifter lives There is something there is always some eleven at my house. I cannot answer here, brother cousin lake glad case, so our work on that I work at a houseboat in copenhagen. That's the plan left off on all arrange it with somebody that works in my office very they'll, be in contact with the thank you and then and then you will be on your show I'll be the guy on the shower sure yeah, you should come on the show. You know I'll come on. Let me fund and we can do this only more heightened and you'll be meaner to me. Ok, we'll have become out, define I'd like you to come on you passionate about the election. Not I don't talk. Politics much like about whatever else you want not merit the city of thanks for come back, I
ok. Well, let's all relax now go to double. That gambro deputy ipod needs enjoy yourself have a good weekend. Dont get sunstroke drowning, die and the other way avoiding. Ok, all right. Now large today, given it a rest, takes a lot at him right boomer lives.
Transcript generated on 2022-09-06.