« WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 724 - Amber Tozer

2016-07-14 | 🔗
Amber Tozer is a comedian who wants out. She tells Marc about her move away from standup after years of sobriety, a semi-successful bootleg mattress hustle, attempted lesbianism, and a quest for the guidance of Tony Robbins. And upon the release of her memoir, Amber reminds Marc of an incident he was involved in that is buried deep within his subconscious.

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
I'd like let's do this: how are you what the factories, what the fuck bodies, what the fuck's there is, what the pocket delicate, what the fuck? our colleagues, what is happening a mark mare- and this is my podcast w e f- welcome. Welcome to the show. Thank you for listening. who's on who's on the show today, today Amber Tozer, the comedian and author is going to talk about her new memoir sober, stick figure. I like her and seen her in awhile, while that'll be fun. What else its third day. If your listening to this, when it drops last night, was the fight no two episodes of
I tv show maranon. I have see for all of you who are watching. Thank you for watching over those of you who haven't seen it. I think the first three seasons are available on netflix. This one will be on netflix in December. That is the end of the series. Thank you for for being with me Thank you for supporting my decision to stop it to end it ginger interesting though there is a little better wheel, but a drama on twitter monday Everything was great. I was feeling who oppose pardon depression, sadness from. Knowing that I will be working with others, people that I've worked with many of them for four years and feel sad in some shit, and down on twitter that drove me out of my fucking mind because it was just irresponsible garbage Yeah I mean I want to talk about it, but let me let me just clear some stuff up. First for real information,
information- this is true information, I'm gonna, be tour, a bed- you guys know that I'll be in salt lake city tonight to morrow and saturday wise guys and salt lake city. There downtown, albeit the comedy attic- in blooming ten on the twenty, eight twenty, nine and thirty at the july and stand up, live show in phoenix has been moved, one night. I knew this would happen, not us about it. I don't see it as some sort of bad indication. I've never had much of a draw in phoenix and it's fine. so we're moving all those shows to the saturday. So there's going to be too shows on saturday. Stanhope live in phoenix in that That would be the twentieth of august. So if you have tickets for the thursday. idea hope you can move necessarily, I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I'm sorry if this means you can't see the show, but that places fuckin huge,
and this is just the way it has to be its fine with me- I'm not hurt, I'm not offended There will be more dates forthcoming I'm gonna be an albuquerque, my hometown, on the third for the benefit for the endorphin power company I'll be in rochester at the comedy club on the ninth and tenth of september, So that's that information, whether what other information do you need. I got some interesting feedback from spokane people. Some people are very excited that I said such a nice things there there their home town, the town that they live in one person just issues too. Sides to everything. You know I mean there's two sides: to loving something it seems for me or to having a good time and a place. You know what I mean. Do you explain it to you he's got have said. Is that look. it's it's a hard decision to make to stop something that is going fine.
That is going well. That is going great when probably have the opportunity to continue even though you know that that's not gonna, be his great necessarily or that something is done. It's a hard decision to make. I say I stop doing Joe because it was done. Then then, sir, person, I'm not gonna, be hostile, because this is just an indicator of a bigger issue, some reporter, I guess just weeded out in this was from a a reputable source. That's supposed to be the industry paper, the indian, We paper my industry show business the others a couple of trades and it yeah it's it's what you would think but this is a time who live in that trade magazine, which is specific to a trade in that The thoroughly trying to start shit, though every Thing seems to be owned by large tech companies, content mills that just there are almost like semi,
How urgent sweat shops. For me, oh yeah people they can just cannot. Point the keys and generate ten or fifteen half store the day based on no acts or nothing speculation, or secondary stories from other content mills at our gas, a related or not so his well, but you would expire. more from an industry trade, a little fuck fuckin research, That was one click away for a story. Business insider there good job with it me deciding the show was over your had. I have sees president the jank assert his response. They were, they were fine with it and they were happy that we have had the time we had together and then another paper just She was a story that show got cancelled, based on nothing, nothing They just decided. That was the word tweeted out the article tweeted, the link
and put that headline around the world. Marin gets cancelled now the real that such a big deal is because that imply something. and I know this isn't in the big world of things the most important thing in the world that. Obviously there's bigger problems in the world. It's mine, and it was your misreported. You know it's not it's not killings, that's not shootings knocked at the end of the world stuff, but it you know it has have was relevance to my life in its amiss. It's it's misreported. means a lot to me that this was on my terms and not just you know, a corporate entity making a decision, despite whatever I would want. It's lazy content mill garbage that diminishes the integrity of almost any information. You would to do to get real information that that that's actually ported. Now this isn't it yet. It is not
Problem, obviously, this obviously me and how these we after I threw a shit fit on twitter. It was changed An apology was executed on the phone, to my manager by the reporter fine, but the fucking fucked up thing was couple of other reporters from the same outlet defended the reporter and said I was being. I was over reacting widen I hand with through email one I do this or that it was a public, miss reporting, I will handle it publicly and then one of em. Now this is a person. Mugen mention names are commission, namely the paper, not even the paper, the fuckin website, another reporter said: what's the difference, whether marin stopped ashore was cancelled, the weights cancelled. They don't know that new wants and they don't know what it implies and their work for an industry trade paper were that has a very specific meaning and also public We saying that in a public forum how the what does that person have a job if he
so he doesn't know the difference. Anyway. The end of information. As we know it, you know you better hope, you get your feet on the ground, your head in the game and know who you are and what you life looks like in your me. surroundings, where you stand which yet because the truth is always shifting here's your garbage, slash content. I hope you just react to the headline and react to them. The bullshit come on over click on the portal. You go. There's your garbage, slash content! Oh did you catch us over here that some paid presents trying to deliver some goods into your fuckin desire system, so you go out and do a little business and just life You have you looking at the garbage, we gotta squeeze out other shit into your fuckin, sad, vulnerable brain we ve done our job. You are a click that weaken report and perhaps can coattail some more crap into your life through the
aunt and garbage that you are interested in or respond to. Ok, all right, I'm about over it common complaint. But good luck! find the truth out there. They just want to keep you in a frenetic state of anxiety, fear Desperation and need for something salacious or yummy stay online man day on line right so back to spoken, and, as I said, I can't say enough about it. I yes, but now I know, there's a couple of things happened. Ok, ok- I got two emails now after I said such nice things about dumb about spoke. Can I got this email? is your thanks for nothing quote, he's called.
me. I don't want to let the cat out of the bag, but if you're working to get out of wherever the fuck you are I'm thinking of spokane unquote, he said, that's me and he didn't with the word fuck. He wouldn't put fought f asterisk asterisk asterisk. And this is this- is the the bulk of email, great body. Twenty five thousand plus people moved a spoken twenty fifteen in a relatively small urban area. Proportionately that proportion that's a lot is changing fast and the usual metric quality of life, lack of congestion. Affordability are disappearing fast because of what you described. People are on the move to a place that simply must be better than where they currently reside. It kindest sucks cause. when everywhere else was so happening and no one in their right mind would would move here as more gritty types carved out, live for ourselves. Now that spoke and is establishing better restaurants, more shopping, more of the more that urban I'd need to be content. Well then, the friction in hurdles to the notion.
Living here- are removed, hairs when we get buried under seven feet, snow like we did in away no nine and I back sorry, I liked your city, John. Now this email, I and I now, when you say it, but you know big country, big country, Subject line seagulls from dicks, hey ma, I listen to your podcast all the time and love the honesty and emotion you bring out in people in the vulnerability you're willing to show yourself. So thanks for that, I am originally from the spokane area. Quarter lane. Ah it's in idaho, I believe, right but live in germany. Now listening to you, talk about dicks, brought back nice memories from home and really made my day growing I actually believed that all seagulls came from dicks on my first trip to the Oregon coast. I saw all the sea goes on the beach and exclaimed. Look it's this eagles from dicks. I honest. We thought that egos had just migrated over anyway,
for the little reminder of home best ashley, that's funny one. I didn't tell you about the casual casual racism. I encountered been spoken. It's hard to hard to know what to do in those moments yet know you want to say something, but then you now their old usual old people, older people, alright. Well, what happened was. Apparently there's a small community of retired men who drive for the hotel they they I like to drive. Maybe they need a few bucks. Maybe they just want to get out and do something and talk to people that I'm fine with that it. It's a nice way to talk, two strangers. If the strangers willing to talk to you and give you something to do one it due to its driving me one day we I told him I'd gone too wise to get boots in their eyes, did they were made here and made america? So then he started that yeah did he did line. I get a lot of stuff use to be made here back in the day lot of manufacture. Am I here we go yeah. I know that. I know that
Wait, a sad story. I wish I knew. I wish I knew how to bring the manufacturing base back to this I don't know the answer that, but I know the conversation and I just The target about how yeah, now that people have been taught that you everything spousal it's pretty good for it the economy. I guess it people just by shit. If it's fucked up things, throw it away as opposed to return it or expect any quality whatsoever and then He said he. I do gardening, unlike our right They said tat. You get these waters. Sprinkler heads from the heart store, and these be made america not anymore made. China not is. and I don't really know what tat meant. I don't know what kind of race dynamic. You know he said when he turns sprinklers on that. Now is a sort of active like god, these shine sprinkle our heads work at home. Not we'll get my grasses not happy, but it was the beginning of some
I I started to see as a narrative, not a not a narrative. I had not heard yet so we started talking about other things manufactured elsewhere, and you know he said my bow. Now got the cell phone I am not going to change it. You know you get these new, these new funds they break, as are all changing to john by you by judge injunction John broken the I talk to you people. They buy these bigger phones, they break injunction john now yeah. I knew what he was saying was obviously racially insensitive and probably racist. And when I said what board phone do you use? I mean this old found that you refuse to ted to not part with any said samsung six years old, yeah samson. So I had that moment where I, how do I get this message through, like yours, pardon me that wanted to take the high ground in almost be condescending and say to him
well, you know that is armed chin juncture Chung as well, but I did not do that. I didn't and what was I supposed to do in that situation? I guess I could have said units racially insensitive to to to to to do that character. I could have said you know but that's it's not right to say that. Why don't why? Don't you say it one more time and call it the last time you say with me say with passion, then we move on past it and- and say that anymore, because it's it's will racist that with that would not have worked if you're going to do just go to a judge or jogger whoa, whoa you're right you're right. Thank you. Thank you for for for educating, mean and making me a better person. I can say that either I just switched switch topics. I am ashamed of it. I should have said something I apologize but right now, let's talk to, we're towser, who I like
seen in a while and I'd forgotten something about our history that was sort of interesting. She has a new look I'll called sober, stick figure a memoir now available. Where were you get books visit me an amber towser amber towser. I have not seen you in why, like buccaneers or think tat are not like years. Eight years until hordes of workers out about. Why have I not seen where did I like wet with these? Russia is our problem between me and you, you tell me how things so now hurry. I'm! no, I don't. I don't think there is on trial. Remember where I met you. I think I flew summary. Jeff singers involved is that possible we my ear
ago in new york, where we really know each other is a hang out at luna wound. Railways are doing comedy employer every single monday, just hang around yad skin drunkenness, watching comedy Did you have in new york city yeah, and you move to do? What well, I think I moved there to be a committee for us, but I didn't want to admit it right. So well, I, but I started working in dot coms because it was ninety. Ninety, ninety nine and there were tons of jobs. So I got all these these office, jobs he's pr and marketing gigs. So I just sort of got sucked into a date jobs and then eyes started. Gonna comedy shows and I became obsessed with stand up. the act as our you being around yeah, and you're just like your like. I work in pr it so and soda com and am just hanging around being drunk ray you yeah, I was may
I and I remember, seeing you Luna lounge, and there was this one night where you had a really good sat, but I dont think I watched errors of the bargaining drunk like I was in there watching you, but you know how they had tvs. by the bar you you you destroy Anna pavlovna, you came out of the performance based beata, where the bar was an you grabbed my fate and you kissed. My forehead, you are so happy that you why you just had a great time on stage you grabbed my face and you just kiss my forehead sort of like a friendly did. I know you now now you strange agnes was right there when you walked out of the room, and you just like yours, so happy wow did you. it can be you weren't doing comedy then. Yet, no, like I meet a lot of people over water years and a lot of different places out when I, when I moved to l a when I first sober I reached out here. Oh yeah, can I
helpful right. I saw What? What do you mean? I say. we made out in your car do you remember, and I would like it- I was driving over here and I was I got enough. I talk about it. We hear all about honesty, so I'm gonna, so do I remember We went through a couple meanings and you are very helpful, but you I I don't know you were just going through your divorce rise or separated. We were like you were pretty out there. You were pretty racked. like are not yet I'm not getting involved. No way that man, but then you been venue gagged. Then the color like alright, I was like we got pink very. We went to a meeting, we got pinkberry and then we were talking in your car and you're. Like oh, you just said you were being really nice to me and then we kissed- and it's like
I didn't think it was it I was just like. I don't know if this is a good idea and you are newly sober yeah, what a monster yeah a predator, what in horrible man didn't even wrestle with amazon. I must have had some inner conflict about get out a newcomer, I must have been really in a bad place. You weren't horrible place, thank god, but then we are, cool, and then you tat you can taxing me saying you. You wanted me to come over big work for you you made a pie, have permitted I would very by its impact a man. Remember this period real. Do you remember, do you remember us making him by? I do now. Did you remember before I know I hear now yet refreshment? It's like, I bet you you does anyone remember by
I remember you're being really q you're funny and have that was not the first time that you write Well now we we had no need for a wider while ensuring a sober and euro like me in our cue excited, but I'm sorry I took advantage that I'm glad we didn't fuck or anything he. I am glad that why get least like did I stop that making a policeman yeah. I was like region: do the ass mark, you you dead eyes. I said you stopped, you know now what happened now address? as it was. I also wasn't a massive make out. No, it was really she it was. It was a short kiss. We tried kissing, it didn't work out and we just moved on yeah. Alright, that's different, not a great idea for either of us and we move past it. and I tried to lure you to my house is for pie and they pilot I, like cooking, makes me feel better yeah, probably a very pie. or maybe an apple, probably blueberry. I feel like there was a couple different night that you tax it indifferent things
the menu every time you texted me, god forbid, that point I ask of women on a date, yet I was too thousands in two thousand eight mark It was nice. I thought those ngos is a killer now I know, did you think it was weird at the time or do you just right? I didn't think it was weird but I am surprised that I didn't, maybe if you would have, because I did go through sort of acting out sexually phase. Mr Da you, minister, I've just been right after that right after I tried, maybe lady re before. Maybe you planted some seed being like maybe- How long the deadline for not lung cancer- we're gonna numbers. We talk and not allow. I care. I tried it and maybe three wool while on a tear I'm sort of
crude and, thank god, yeah. Well, I just I can't have sex with somebody that I don't like it, but I can't talk to them right. You know right, it's the erg yeah. I can't do it I understand lab, but you usually your sexual, retracted, yea yeah right once it's on its own, but it takes it takes about. So I have you look here now that we ve reestablished my horrible behaviour with you. Out of the way. While it is just as it sounds, are you just a kiss in a couple of pi pitchy, maybe a pie pitch and day, like some other thing, some other easily eating. He knocked coffee and even in dinner. Dessert ready now is our desire to provide a mixed homogeneous and,
oh really, is that the thing that would have done it? I don't have ever made chicken parmesan, you do yeah, but like that's a lot of fried indian cheese and sauce lol, you gotta work for I could make booger teeny lama to china, which is better what that's like a pastor with their spicy red sauce and with vigour and was like a bacon in it maybe, but I'm not offering now to saying that when I gave me later kindly now you're in trouble by making a pie, I got a pie gotta find the oven right now, but tat summer stick figure. Mr book, I was sent, hard back. It's right in front of me. I suppose memoir, yes, about you're fucked up drunk life, yeah yeah how arguments over now, eight years and how's it going it's going
great yeah, but it has always been great right. Yeah was the first five, a rough man. It is raw but its eyes. I don't know. I think I get enough good stuff out of it, even when it's bad that I keep goin and I'm sort of, curious. What's gonna happen when I say sober will yeah, but that will eventually just becomes like I'm not gonna fuckin lose that count. Yeah. The right thing to do. get me sober for years. When I see people Look at me like no, not given up the day count. Man can't do it a man. How many years do you have? No, sixteen, guph, seventeen at our double me. The devil did just now madam I have is today amber and every day call every day. Is america not great miracle? Some days now, not the kind of miracle the I b it's hard to call them miracles, but but yeah I'll go with the framing. Sure today was a miracle. I had taken
miracle nap, let's go back, I still don't stand up, sometimes not really. What happened? I just I don't wanna. Do anymore. I and I finally him ok with it while yeah. me about that I dont know why did in the first place? I think I was just drunk all the time and was like somebody better get me a microphone, I'm layer cut of silver. couldn't believe that I had been doing stand up for so long. It was one of the things like. Why am I doing this, but I felt like I should keep doing it cause. Say I was able to get over it yeah I was like. I can't quit it's, because I'm sober now I gotta be able to you know you got in it. You are doing okay cause. I remember you were you know working you are doing mics and stuff. Did you do any tv? I did last comic standing, though really how far jamaica
I made a past the first round. I think it was a two thousand seven, but it aired in two thousand a and it was a horror, horrifying experience. What I hate you, I barely sober. No, I wasn't yet so you are hearing your bottom. I was doing king? I was drunk on tv, but I was so function all like you. I would could drink Five drinks hinders talk normal being raised, we have enough confidence to talk like a normal person, so I I was pretty buzzed on tv, but I just was so nervous and that whole set up where you have like three minutes and. yeah it ok here, but the I think the only reason why they had me on the show is because I knew one of the executive producers and at the time I was selling mattresses on craigslist, for a job and they thought it was hilarious. So the cameras came to my house and they
filmed me delivering a mattress like I use js to strap them on top of my car and drive them around mattresses on Craig yeah. It was like my last two years of drinking. I started this sort of shady matter. Prison has. Why, out of all the things in the world that you could do in a shady way, why pick the most cumbersome, difficult fuckin racket, because It all started out of her resentment. I was. I was working time at the swift store and the owner was this insane guy Taught me the whole mattress business. Basically, you buy from a wholesale herb, pose an add on craigslist jack up the price, and if you do However, there is no overhead, so I learn this whole business from him. I quit he starts stocking me in saying. Are you selling mattresses on craigslist or you sewing? My idea was like no martin.
Done where the mattresses was you showing that yeah it was his idea. He taught me everything right, so he taught me the whole world of craigslist mantra selling. So when I quit, he thought that I was it behind his back and he kept calling me and threatening me and and I was I was divers like I'm done with mattresses, Martin and but he refute just ten bothering me I was angry mattresses. Did you say well add I would sure I tol I was like I'm gonna. Do this be He thinks I'm doing that. Fuck you. I am going to sell mattresses so for the next two years I sold and delivered six hundred mattresses with my lesbian neighbour, what car, oh after doing a lot of research rediscovered that san francisco is the best market, because people need delivered. I lay there was a lot of competition, so you win you are in this was. How is your life? Is man holds thing. We had
red sheets and at an end- and there was nothing illegal about it. No, I think you have to have a resellers licence to solve for an inter, so it was sort of illegal egg. We're getting shilly mattresses. No that's one day I kept me. Ok with it, they weren't, shedding they weren't fantastic. I bought one and slept on one. Did you serve your purge? Yes, of course, and so, but we would sell, aren't we would. We would sell If the phone and we'd close a deal over the phone be like we'll just take it to your house, we don't have a store. The reason why these are so cheap is because we have this whole thing. as it will permit, will bring to your apartment. You know, like a reason, I will keep us. We don't have a store yeah, we have overhead so will display.
Into your house. These were sealed and cleaned yeah yeah yeah. They they were good where'd. You pick them up. How did you get frank jr, some guy named frank, Jr, never met frank sr. No, no! I would have loved to have met frank sr. So it was what frank junior got him at a place tat? We got em out of place an ally and we, just as we saw press alt on the phone packed up a twenty four foot track and drove to san Francisco, every other weaken and delivered mattresses all weekend, and then I would do a spot at the punchline underline the YAP, for you are living There was a girl you if we lived here about samaras go is the best best money. May for those who drive and pills oh yeah, four votes budget track. It was
if you make a lot of money yeah, it was good. It was getting money. We would probably make a twelve hundred bucks each twelve to fifteen hundred bucks each for in three days sorry to work a lot of work for you and then we would do it twice a month, but I was young for to me that was that was good money that you know I was young and dropping like twelve owner bugs cash we gotta do is get a liver. Afghani match were not put an end to arrive clive hours of the five You are the places in a really residential area. This is perfect. At that. is right. Here
of all things you're, just like you were you locked in euro like I'm, going to do this and I'm gonna do a great. It was so hilarious at first eyes like. I cannot believe we figure this out in its working, but then after about a year, it was depressed, it was so depressed. It was my last year drinking too much like we have to do this, and she is so funny. That's the racket, you think you're winning with. I know we've really had this figured out. We just got to go down to frank juniors with a truck it's so crazy. Most people are like. I don't want to do Can I just like word it is these batches socks Markham they did so very. like to think that you like had it may not. All of that fucking work is whole areas. Are we really nailed it? so easy risk, but I think I just the fat it was so hilarious to me. I knew how ridiculous it was right. The stories kept me going now because
friend who my friend leslie, who I delivered these mattresses. What she's in the buckle out so I was really fine. It was a fine adventure redoing material about mattresses, yeah. I was telling stories about a bet I was really disorganized and sort of half ass, a comedy really exhausted from delivering mattresses. So I couldn't really. You spoke of garments so so producer that you knew every last going standing tat. It was funny they you're selling. Is that your house right is a great hooked, isn't unique care Therefore, our stand up personalities, yeah she's, like on the phone selling. What We all sizes are yes all sizes double pillar tops full size, queen size, kings, eyes, queen double pillar tops or a bestseller That's the right size without needing another room right, yeah yeah, I'm! No! California
are we did know? We did anyone, removing California, adding in town in san francisco, so six story apartment to slavery. I just the two of us and sometimes guys were very nice and helpful and other times they had no just watch us to see. If we could do it. good, guys, everything. There is good, as I was making out in the neue silva, but you see if these poor girls can get a devil super king of the best, california, king closing their huge. So so So you doing that in last comic standing, you didn't when you didn't lose too quickly. He didn't like it. And you got sober after yeah what this decision because you do comedy for like how long long time. I think I started in two thousand one ends. I mean I didn't six months ago, so you still kind in still sword of acts.
after I got the big deal. I was like miss her right, the spa bright and it was nice to take a break into Ok with. I think the struggle is like being okay with it in our dissolve leaden admitting it's sort of like a law break up right I love stand up, but I I tension in my friends who have been doing it for a long time and they I get. It lay still wanna get up and they're doing it and they and I don't have that type. If drive and I'm like at first and I may go back to the mattresses I yass on then- but I really enjoy writing and I like the solitude of it yeah yeah. So it's good to have that clarity and I'm sort of scattered. So from doing too much at once. I sort of began. I half ass everything, so I want to be able to just So if you wanna do readings or work stories, you know, as a writer you know said,
as always he does. He writes on stage while he'll write a piece and then I'll go. Do it on stage and mark where the laughs yeah yeah that can be fun. It you're, so verde effectively right yet that kind of have to know that you can make a room full of people laugh with a thing from your story. That's this marks a well yeah, I'm smart, that he did that that way, so where'd you grow up public colorado by that's right, pueblo plebiscite? I kind of even kind a half know it, because I grew up in new mexico? Oh So I member going through pueblo to go somewhere. Twenty per hectare is it. What we can do, what it would have to go there to to get any of this key areas. If I was coming up guy twenty five yeah. That was the only way out in new mexico up to call you. I was twenty five, I twenty five. We are you albuquerque yeah, yeah, yeah feels familiar to me. Colorado fills familiar to me, but I go
I go there and I don't know it that while I went to bolder- and I was like wow- I dunno anything about this, but I knew like southern colorado kinder because we go up yeah. I lived in durango. My freshman year of college called therefore Louisiana. louis that one score that earlier I played basque loner you're like a jock person, I'm John! Hey we're anymore really, but I was when I was young. So angry I am prepared to if those mattresses, your lunch I guess you rat, got a shave like my arguments. Are these laths right here, yeah yeah, my laughs yes, opt out I a fashion lose your relationship with. What's your name leslie, she was my best friends: growing up or just here just here I moved in two and apartment complex. Actually, I moved back very solid there on fountain avenue and shit
is my downstairs. Neighbor neighbour and downstairs neighbour and superfine were still friend. Lesbian. We may now from It- and I got drunk, sounds like you: do: have a lot of people just make out just kissed her a yeah. We just cast yes Why did you gotta qualify when you were drunk and you just he made out with your neighbour, has been neighbour down, didn't stick now. I gave it was so I wish I was I made. I would a lotta girls when I was drunk by and when I got sober I was like. Oh, I think I can finally get Clarity gay and I'm stray so mad So where are your story eyes like you're drunk your like my try again. What girl yeah. wanted to happen dear. I believe
yes, we just deal as we ass. So what it wanted are you done with that with girls? yeah. I mean I've again girl crushers, but I'm just physically attracted a guy's yeah yeah, it's more like an emotional communication type with girls ran like oh, my god. I love them, but I do want to kiss them right. Oh well, yeah so was to better. drinking for the now. So who colorado is like very small town kind of bright aids our group feels mothers. I am hundred thousand people are moving on Malta, yeah and you have what you have a sister. I have two younger sisters and an older brother and elder half brother really a home for of you and then to accept brothers from my mom's second marriage, the fireman yeah. I do remember young,
When did this like? What, like your memoirs, kind of funny cause you deal with years, viewing it all brew an alcoholic point of view. Why he's really had it? You know it. That's where you sort of start. When did that art, that's not the drinking but the alcoholic behaviour right. Kinda yeah. I feel like? I was uncomfortable when I was super young, but during high school I was confident and happy. There is this magical four year period in high school I don't know where it came from, but I went or maybe Concerning in the eighth grade, I was happy. Because I was really busy and I was good it yeah, just popular and put, I tried, really hard. I was a good validation junkie. Yes, I was getting, all of that will go to world export s, words and good grades, but I I worked really hard. It wasn't like. I was a natural at anything in your parents were together, they weren't together. My biology
Cole, father and my mom divorce when I was nine and then my step dad and my mom got married. I think when I was eleven does a couple years later and your biological dad. What was he like? was not ok, he was, he was manic depressive alcoholic manic, depressive yeah and alcohol yeah. He never came out of his bedroom. Is that true I have My father would do that occasionally: yeah decisive, the other bedroom yeah per year. Really yeah. My hope that That's all. I remember, I think and yeah from the age of three torrent too. When I can remember tall, I was nine and his bedroom really time and they only this right yeah, my mom ran it. There was what was it dewdrop and cheese has it it's a restaurant in a bar right yeah. We will they is. Are it started off as a bar, but my mom has started experimenting with pizza recipes and then it became super famous wall.
in pueblo and, as everyone knows about it, yeah I hear people talking about it out here. Yeah in new york at pizza places. They're like this is okay, but if you've ever been, well then what is it then crossed the crust. Thick sweet grass, oh yeah, yeah jim tunisia invented it. She said she got the recipe from god because you it sure. Has he went to church. We are catholic and for communion. Instead of having the flat wafers, there was sweet bread, so she had the sweet bread and she was probably nineteen me at the time and was like the speaker with marineris ass an he went home and experimented in the kitchen and came up with the pizza dough nineteen charity had you no, she was married and I had, but I think they bought the bar. She and my brother twenty in me when she was twenty three I believe, wound yes, so the your grown up in like this relatively sad. How
hold on nine years old and what happened? Did you dad just sweep of his way out of the house, sir? my mom finally left his left wing that's him sweeping it's just a war stem yeah and he don't want, do you draw up? He said he wanted the house, and he wanted her to pay for the dewdrop sergio the gas station and saved money to buy the dewdrop to buy her half cause. They were what a splendid right would have in a split right. Yeah ha. So did your dad, so she just laughed and he was in his room in his room. Did you did your wife still? No, he and passed away years ago. We think it's an an overdose. Oh yeah, oh yeah, did you were you? Did you stay in touch with him? Well, when they got a divorce where's like every other week and I hated it and then I was my mom stopped making me go over there.
Don't lizzie was negative. He wasn't like physically abuse have. He was just sad and then I think when I'm on left, he got really scared and started to be nice to us. I think he felt like home shit. I'm gonna be allowed so huge. He tried, It was too late and I was teenager and I was like full of hatred, so I would see him and then I started to be the holidays or his birthday, blah blah blah and then, when I moved to new york, I would come back and see him once or twice a year during the holidays, did he ever remarry or anything new? He had a girlfriend for a while. He just said man ever get the medicine for them by whore. I don't think so. Now he was jest and I didn't understand anything you know when I moved to new york when I was twenty twenty one, just bout turned twenty two I had just started drinking a lot, so I just would like he's:
I had no idea about the disease or I just hate him above it russian yea, I I knew now. Did you ever get any resolution around that you? Yes, how did you that, while it's in my bookmarks Now now I just need a lot of work and then just being in recovery and undermine them. To favour using our view is already. I was drinking a law when he died. I guess how many years ago, as a ban at it, was probably. Eleven years ago I was told drinking, maybe twelve years area now, but so. I was still drinking a lot bright. So you go you. You are yourself: the immense process in a way, yeah, yeah, yeah furs for. Yeah he's imo. I'm ok! Now through my and I was so funny because I didn't
the day to day like hating my dad cause. He wasn't part of my life so when I was in high school or you know, having fun in new york. I wasn't like my dad's a bad parade. He wasn't even on my mind right, but the last year of my drinking I was like writing about him. It was bizarre, like all this stuff came up about him, which is like why why? talking about him all of a sudden. Did you figure it out? Well, I think, I had a moment of clarity when I quit drinking and my dad was like the first thing I thought of thing I'm not gonna go out like that. so arise. So I dont know if it was just like coming to the surface for reason, because I of clarity. I was like like my dad and I don't of age or he was a drug yeah, ok, yeah yeah. He was is a drunk always Harriet yeah. He will know you. I know you do better to press it yeah right, but you know what that wouldn't be. So you go over to it.
after the divorce indeed be lupi. No, he a drink arm like oh, do was on staff when we were over there, and I was like oh that's weird, but one time I went over there and I didn't tell them. I like, I surprised him and he was hammered so I was like. Are you drunk cause? He would hide it from as as big as his dad was an alcoholic, so he had so much shame around it right, so he hit it. really well. but the one time I showed up without telling him in wasted wow, and and arm Then I found out more from my older half brother. He told me a lot of stories that I had no idea about and then in the end he he drank till I mean drank a lot of vodka and pills. Yeah means man found them behind him and me man, oh railing and the apartment building
so you don't want to end up like that ooh! No. So when I had my moments on an air mattress, not even the a real match receive. It think I'm real met. Just maybe that was maybe that was the moon is at the moment they may do so. Nice mattresses You hit your bottom on an air match isolate. I am not give my dad and provide good mattresses for whoever needs them. nor I had already started the mattresses about why ever this drinking or that was proposed, mattress yeah. When you re towards the end. They ended up on the air matches. The story just keeps getting saturn now, you're gonna be your dad and like a woman who is known in San Phronsie, Go propelling matches and I got server that my moment of clarity funds in san francisco and they are not interested in oakland. That's bad when you don't even have a mattress and he sold them off
oakland on nuclear matters. While that sounds sordid. How does it happen? okay, we have two track man. So was I was up in san francisco just for weaken the mattresses had already ended. I probably a few months before. I think I'm I'm a little shit. I don't exactly know when detail yeah But I was in samara, go and I was at the punchline and I got hammered drover, though the bay bridge to friends house did a bunch coke. I don't like oak woke up air mattress had an outer body experience and I haven't had a drink since really you are able to sweep on the coke, though, couldn't have been that good. Well, he stood up for a couple of days. I went to bad way five in the morning and woke up at noon. I think owes an island MIKE.
I hope I I never really liked it, but then I was like I gotta do all the coke. I hate it. I kind of do all of it really hm, so you just yourself your I ate it so much to make myself feel bad. I was at a comic opera has ass her house. No, I was I leslie s friend of less liza, still coke and drink and still kirk and drinking with lesbians and talk, and we were really figure and stuff out. Of course you were, figure and also carried out by the time you went to bed. So we really had a body. Explain: edges fell as probably there I say I don't know if it was, Well, I was it was right. When I woke up, I opened my eyes. I was flat on my back and I do, it was like I just ended the edges. I just knew I was done. I knew I was done
About my dad and I a bow and I knew that I need to ask for help How'd. You know that because I had tried to get sober many times before by myself in secret sort of disdain, dry, lydia, really white knuckling it so. I tried and many many times on my own since that time. I knew I would have to do something different which has asked for help, it did. You knew a sober person, hmm yeah, I emailed them yeah, oh really, hmm, and it worked out. Did they sponsor? You know They emailed me back right away as my friend tom, and he gave me, a woman called me right away his friend this woman, who runs a sober lama, comic. No, he is there. He producer, yeah yeah well, and that was it and I was at its great. So let's talk how you got that far through in high school. You're. Happy kid!
everything was going, your way, cocky confident doing the athletics getting good, raids, pry being a little bit of a bully here and there oh yeah shitty girl, No, I was nice, I was sort of a people pleaser around to like me, but I was I I would be mean to people if I find out they deserved it. It was like when those places like new mexico, you can drive like fifteen or sixteen like when you get your driver's license. Teen right, sir. You like in it got a car ok, car. Yes, I had an chios backdrop. I think, my very first car and then I had a jeep and then I got a pickup truck. Can you believe? I'm not. No! I haven't.
That is the next book, so you can do it. I think you can do it, I'm supportive of it. Maybe I just need to meet the right girl we owed Definitely I'd made after the other website I do. I was just wouldn't we're If they're in game world email girlfriends boy. I'm just trying to help you The future is the only stand it anymore. I think this is a great new book for you if you are using a sort of like a dead, the premises getting you don't really like sex with women, but you really want to be a lesbian yeah. He just be just go on a bunch of different dates with different people and finally find one. Ok, boy We only bought the guy because it's like the story about the dewdrop too. So so this was just a
shitty bar that used to go in when you were a kid and you just see others drunk ease there when you liked them, I loved them. They were really nice to me. Smells like cigarettes and stuff pool table jukebox guys there every day, yeah those are regular. They are a good way for your mom to open the place. Yeah. Probably I remember that the way to go before it was I loved going before it was open, because I would look in the booths for quarter and like for money on the floor and help my mom vacuum it fine double w, maybe should maybe should take the restaurant over. so much work, I was a wages there for seven years, I got a nice girl, oh yeah, in the summers and weekends and I'm gonna places it well. And why small, but my mom relocated now has two locations. well, yeah she's, she's bad!
she's you do not write off yeah, that's a great story! Your dad just swept and drank off into a stupor. Mom goes works. A gas station gets enough money. to buy him out, yeah turns the whole shit around yep and then gets marries a fireman narrative. Now pollack firemen? Well, you know she had a style. Yes, yes taken he's. A good guy right, he was our re, he started off great, but then he was he was. He was to me because I was sporty any resort of sports guy here by drinking. I had to leave him again gathered wow not ugly its. Of dead. But I was already out of the house when it really ended. I think for tea for two years
the house, and then they got a divorce. There was no lotta yelling and screaming at now, not with my biological doubt or or my stepped out, my mom's, not lake. She just works, she works and she it's shuts down and and then makes a decision should come from alcoholics, yeah yeah. Grandfather died from it. So she was raised by alcoholics. I it's everywhere but seeks so she went the other way. She was right. There control free purse, as opposed to the drunk right yeah. I think that's the more active, healthier, waited gov, you're gonna, be a kid alcohol. I try to be the one that wants to control every yet back as aid do pretty well, they do until they just hit a warlike began work. I hate everybody in their kids all fuckin over I mean I've, heard a wall she's that you know inner sixties, workin seven days a week at the restaurant sure grams, like sounds are she's got whatever whether its,
cover your not he found balance in her life and in others. If it's not killing her, then why not the actual isis bessie and she's, happy yeah no our nodding now just work and just work and fetch you through better. They didn't have time. You know those people I mean they don't have to hit a while, but eventually yeah some crisis. Of control happens. You know yeah, where your kind- I can't I don't know how control over this is it she's she's started taking breathing glasses and at home yeah. Three, the glass wreathing class was usually grander, older I gotta ask her my bra meet. You are due to all find myself, so I got everything: yes all the time they re too or I'm I'm I'm a shiloh breathing. I have to tell you I crave when I'm workin out or something if a mortgage, the trainer she's like breathe.
My breath. Lifting things do take short brats. I felt my breath goes right here and I know how you won't whenever so whenever, also read how to breathe. Unlike that, things are not work like that have to be aware of it by breathing should be relatively, if you can, prevent away what, but they say when you focus on your breath, you can't your mind, has to go there. So you can't that's mutation, right, yeah, so your mother breathing and make him pizza managing restaurants. She go the third time. Yes, oh my god we're gonna fuck up with that guy there is still a married algeria he's a farmer. My any only has to beers a day and is aware of the ego area observes that control drugs. controlled alcohol right here He's a workaholic pollyanna fire he has on her vagina acres.
Oh yeah yeah in pablo at a lot of land, the latin language, eugene visas. It out. You know about him, there's like pinto beans and corn and. Yes, you do like organic salad, locally, gonna thing, rosea. Now, one of the big machine, I think, he's pilot technician. Lots goods are uneasy: racket yeah, he what he This is his hobby he's already retired farming fifty acres is harvey s why he's a good guy. What visa little socially interesting. He might him. I are now he might have Asperger's. Oh yeah yeah. I I'd I would much rather have him have that than anything we have a manifest itself Just I'm! I think I'm just diagnosing him, but it's just like social cues. You know, he'll talk about trains and electricity and I could be
I know, just keep going or yeah yeah yeah thanks here doesn't matter whether inches at an hour. Now I could start crying all keep going. He'll need to get to his point. He has to get all the way to the end. Can you walk away and come back yeah yeah, so so europe So you do well, then, what what? What? What when does the magic is? It sounds like you're, you're headed towards the light of. of being the progeny of. Our colleagues here, you're heading towards control, freaky sporty. Here you go in the right way, and why have you know I I took a few road trips and realise that the world is really bag, and I now on a sample anymore- and I went to me work the year before I graduated college and I was like I have to move here so after graduated.
I know not well in the summers- and you know like womb, but I would get hammered every time I do. I didn't do it often, but when I did, I did it so I was already. I had already blacked out a lot, but I would not regularly no, alright, it was that it was just a lot of fine words. You go cultural for for fort louisen than university southern colorado. Killing the great basketball grade? Basketball yeah? It's not that big. I know. I'm tiny but you're, just a whiz yeah super fast, aggressive, three pointer, really no look passes defensive yeah that good huh I used to be tat, do still play for fund now. Why because I don't know, I don't like it in college. I really really upset me. scholarship and eyes de I wanna do it anymore, honours customers of beer you're here you're pattern, tat what they did get pretty get it sudden and just like that,
I love quitting yeah. I just think I like proving to myself that I could do things and being like alright get enough what's next. I have a little of that, but I do I've kept my guitar guitars a hobby. An ear stand up, will survive that's my life. Why? But I think it quitting along tat like I've, thought about quitting, but there is never like really get a ride out of it. Now, I'm pretty good yeah and you like in its uniquely mine for me, stand up, gave me the freedom to be exactly who I wanna be, or at least to figure that out right try. figure it out. You know to be true to myself. Somehow yeah so that was always the mission, but it does mean sort of like, like problem. I'm having right now is that I feel ok I am not in a rush, I'm not desperate. Yeah struggling so
where do I speak from my glass life- was about those things right, freaking out, pissed off struggling to get, Where and now I come kindest somewhere and am I not freedom, is much so. How do you talk good question amber good fucking question Then there is the quite the next question is do it at all, not in anything yeah chill out. But how do you do that breathing classes? After that I try I'm trying. So I threw you ve done with basketball and you just order. I can go to new york on a trip to visit somebody or what I just one the friend or export for a little bit united. While we just do this job from fuckin car? I was in college jacquette we.
around. We are too afraid to take the subway, so we walked. Alas, tourists colorado, kids, colorado came want to give mugged, so scared, but it was exciting speak when the first time you go nearer to me. Oh, my god is right. When you get to your Jesus, it is and of all of what goes on forever. Its huge air was in it. mind exploded and those like. I have to come back error, and so I had one year of school laughed and went back and I went back to public too enjoy. Then I started listening to tony robbins to get myself pumped up. I was like I'm going to move, I'm gonna move to new york, and so I started just you're just getting pumped up to move now. I have a plan, no life plan, you just like you in a tone you yeah to move. That's what I did. And I didn't have a plan, but I was pumped
and I did about a one way. Ticket was gazing once you degree in business. Business degree in any did well in school yeah Do you had some mind for something yeah, but no point no plan. So you moved one way ticket tony robberies tape in your bag. He resumed on a walk man. I do see the third. abrams power, ninety days in a row? Unstoppable? So you do when you get to new york. I had a hotel room for a week and I went on job interviews for what business a bit no stuff: doesn't internet companies all interact companies? I ended up getting hired a as a head hunter down and wall street yeah it was So I found a job within three days, but I could not find an apartment, but
foreign moved. I I was on mine in the internet. Was your like naomi europa, like business to kind of doing that my super expensive business suit and I was overdressed every single time. appreciate how her for her, Could she has only robins howard, tony robins and inexpensive business yeah? They found a job and then but I had been emailing people- the internet was, I mean there are like one site to find apartments. Will we reserve, as ninety nine so I had I was in line with this guide. Jeff. We had become friends, but by the time I got out there in the room was already rented, though he was really nice here. So I had to stay on his futon for two days, and found an apartment in astoria When does it all starts to unravel.
I was drinking a ride away. A lot I had to. I could not handle tony. I can say about that. I stopped listening to him? That's right, I did it. I stopped listening to tony. I was getting drunk every day with her. guys from work by myself, who However, I was I was sort of vodka. After a little bit. I was okay going bars by myself. what was your drink long island ice tease for awhile, discuss your young you're like I want to get hammered right away and the drink, and then I switched to seven. Seven and eventually vodka gimlets. That was the last one pocket. Mike again. What's in white line, seven's are brigham during gag of the sahara drink. Yeah I went for a walk again with that's lime. Juice, lady drank a bad idea, I don't know- and I think I was after that
initial rush of moving to new york wore off, and I was just that these day jobs and in our bounced around on day. Job so is like a ahead hunter and then I got a job. It is pure person, a new start up and I bounced around these day jobs. But once the rush of moving to new york were off, I was like I'm here so why and then I started to go to kommeni shows an eye. I was like a second here, I just loved. I loved watching stand up and I went to shows, must every night for a year, just everywhere, I don't know, I don't remember than riesling or the first people. You saw that major. Likewise, like amazing, sir, war, everyone! I learn. I like you in geneva Zack and Eugene merman in those guys starting out new crawled chelsea. You know women too,
be three with Becky donna you every wednesday night and ah just seamlessly all rooms, yeah mostly I mean I care. Occasionally I would go to caroline's, but I was really I loved the all rooms and I would just sit there and just be like, oh my god I was fascinated I was like how how are they doing that? Aren't they so scared? Are they just coming up without right off the top of their head? What are they, how do they do that and it just brats? I was just now is meeting really cool and interesting people an arm d. They can allay just trying to find my place and I just I love dead, and thus I can do this to do this. You talking to forget this when pr jobs. We had a client thousand had an interview it some daytime on cnn, I'm standing outside the cnn building, and I hear this advocates voice by me like that we robins and I turn and its tony robins, and I
to him. I'm like. Oh, my god, Would you not only this, but new york, because I was in your tapes and my aunt quit smoking because you listened to your tapes and he's he's. What do you do in this regard and I value is heading on me. I was like nothing. What are you doing and he me: I'm a card call my assistant, I'm doing I I have eia, I'm doing a water. They a seminar in new jersey this weekend and I'll, give you two free tickets and also like what I'm going so I asked all my friends and they were why I'm gone in the guise of four coon? You know new yorkers yeah he's like that. Crucial guy, like I said why I'm going by myself, so I went didn't, stony robin seminar by myself. I took like a short bus from port authority with these tony evans groupies. I know how I descended upon this bus with a bunch of middle aged women and they
tony too and worse talking, and I told them that I met him on the street and now like why I I got two free tickets are like we had to pay five hundred dollars for a ticket. I was like. Oh, I had an extra nobody wanted it. They were going nuts and then I went to the seminar and I got jazzed again and then I started doing stand up comedy. I answer a ten thousand dollar raise the next day got it. and then I started yelling stand up come because tony you're way was it did you was there a point where he says liking over what d visualize? What you want to do that kind of thing. I can't do you, like worry in your mind, was that the problem you are working on day when you went to the seminar Anything sort of I was really upset that I just working these day jobs and I was sort of on them wanting to do it, but, along with her
It was an all day thing and I was sitting next to businessmen who were forced to go there for their jobs. Can tony's like a business sky? Were trains alot of corporate people, but these bits The stairs were like ugh. Our company sent us here today, but by the end of the day, we're friggin sing and tina turner are doing jumping jacks. He brainwashed all of us just left with the confidence. Yes, I ran down like the show's over and I ran it was a huge area was continental arena. I think that sort of called them. I don't know, but I go and The seminars overrun everybody's leaving Antonia like shaken people's hands on stage, and I scream from that the second round my told we met yesterday on the street these, like? Oh, hey, thanks for common and he's like. Oh, I gotta I gotta catch my chopper to a show, and he told me that, and I was sort of bummed that he told me that I was like. Oh you gotta catch her. I just
don't tell me that, would you think you're going to get the best? I don't know that- that's why That's what ruin tony robins worry. Is that how you thought his bragging like you, you eating, with the every man. Maybe after this Saturday was, and then I do see now in fact, pretty incredible? Also you, after all jack jack, and you weren't drunk at the seminar. Now I was I don't know if they, I dont, think that alcohol there so so. The next day you asked for a raise, because I was working hard. I was a hard I was over. I was working hard and felt like I deserved it, so you just got to say I tony robins really really made a difference: wow yeah and then he said doing stand up. I take no class a six week. Writing workshop. graduate in limbo we cone egg yeah and so
for six weeks and then, when he graduated, he got five minutes and ended at stanhope new york first time in a win. Ok went well enough for me to try it again been in there I can time I did. I did. I killed I gotta jake into it. yeah they're, all the athletic high school good times, I'm good at this, back people were murdered, and where you running around doing spots, yeah and I met so many people, so I knew everyone because rang and I was hanging around for a year and everyone is really nice thing. I said: hey, I'm trying it out and they give me stay time show now going out the alcohol at this point. Really drunk that really functional performing drunken, who will not hammered bare feet like two or three times to give more that's like,
quite sure if I was only get months yet whatever no beers always hard liquor. Usually hard liquor cause beer. I was like afraid of getting fat and I started smoking too. I I wasn't a smoker until I started you in comedy yeah and then I was a chain smoker. So you tell school, the David tells well the comedy yeah everyone wants to smoke. Then did you you smoked idea? Merman smoked, don't think he smoked Why do you a lot over good? It's weird, I am still on nicotine, but I'm in smoke cigarettes for since two thousand nine, two thousand and you can still smoking bars that smoking inside re arava just smoke. No no-
I cared either. You could blow right in their face yeah what changed? Fuckin everything got: ruined, internet transport, local farming, town, no cigarettes, all the good things, while that centuries, local armies, good, the internet's fine smoking and out you know, is inside it's probably bad memory you can smoke on planes. That would that's the thing that always amazes me that there was like the last four seats at the point where a smoking section, it's like you're on a plane. Now it's like how did the entire plane smell like cigarettes? way. It didn't. I know no way it's such a. such a horrible. I hung out my friend was staying with me over the weak, she's a train smoker and she'd get my car yeah. She smoking she's shouldn't smoke, side and then come in and billy you smell like shed its work. It's crazy! You think about now back then
during the comedy or in new york, again shit faced and then for years. The areas where more people consume I don't know cause you're functioning functioning, not getting in fights. I was having a great time showing up to work. So I, when did you quit those jobs. The internet jobs here my last year in new york. I was a waitress and I really liked it did you fallen or you just decided. I wasn't doing it was really sad. I just got really super super depressed and then I was I was in a relationship I was in a relationship for four years in new york and I were the comic haha who I'm not gonna, say we told me after an arm, probably knew this and I was just it was just not going while we were both flake controlling
truther and breaking up all the time and I wasn't doing comedy you're warner. I just I start ups. I don't know I was really depressed and, like stopped being so, I guess stopped being functional, likewise yeah yeah just really hung over all the time. Super super super super bad hangovers and then I started work in part time in office, and I was thinking about the office. I hey office work unless I'm writing something that I care about. I sitting in an office at a desk work for people at you dont like an much rather be a waitress. because you had talk and walk around and you now So I there a way saying- and I wasn't doing comedy and then I was like I'm a moving to allay. I will to get out of there, and I did just a jew Africa really knew no real plan. No well planned tony help here.
No tony- wasn't interested in tony again and I I move to l a you think he was clinical depression or just alcohol based. I you know I dunno. I was drinking so much. I have no idea, and then you come out here. Come out here little. I hope so shine doing comedy again. A little bare yeah. I was going to shows a check. It allows its two thousand and one two thousand and six two thousand sex but I don't like the I didn't like doing comedy. I liked stand up much more in new york cause in l, a you know: it's like everyone's in the industry and the audiences. So there's known people they're just Joy common, so this and upset. I wasn't loving at, but I was how I love. I was like how I was happy to be heard. A lot of my friends had already moved out here, but still drunk
still dragging but not as depressed. I saw it. I got like a second boost of happiness. We arrived here just a new life and new opportunities on good job. So mattresses, That was a lie that there was a thresher through a store and then selling mattresses, and I did that. Are you and Martin? Ok now No, I don't know, knew that I did what I dad I have no idea. He accused you of it. He accused me of it. I was like you think, I'm doing it, I'm going to do it, but I dunno, if he knew Is this all around note? three star, is not there anyway, so maybe he's doing the mattresses. Probably is he added who stole the idea from him. She on He told me about her is like see this add from my niece I taught her the business, but we had a big falling out and now she and she
she was run and allay shaven started a copy and paste my adds like I got an I gonna fight with her. I was like you. Where is stealing my creative selling techniques? Europe basically copy and paste pasting, and you just hung up on me. Competition within the weird natural hustle free people that actually thought there really onto something I told her. You are obviously not an artist de I dead now is like my finger. Machine hung up on me because you are the crazy towards the future, that just renting more trucks, we hire more people, While you know it became a saturated mark, a lot more people, a lot more people are selling mattresses and ongoing. It's it's great, it's like. I always knew. Mattresses were iraq and how could they not be I I know. Casper mattresses are good good. Okay, see
you do in the matters is, and then you you know you end up in oakland, you're, doing comedy, can a narrow matters, any fuckin just heavier white light experience. He gets sober and lifespan. Good is tony back a little bit. Turning takes care of every once in a while when I'm really desperate I have I'm on my ipod. Now it's god it's been difficult. You know it's. It's been very emotional. like layers. You know I've been depressed and full of rage and all of it, but I may. I don't know, I'm I'm a happier than I have ever been, and the book took Yolanda Roy the deal in April, I think, like seven months, it was pretty quick turnaround cause I started
as our writing a proposal in january finished, it emerged that the deal in April and my deadline was in september Well, I'm very happy for you. Thank you In the picture thanks, you are quite mature and you know sort of grounded in the guy put lipstick on and you have the kind of like not like out of control smile. Just like I'd appreciate smile yeah tender camera, I'm a writer, I'm a business lady, I feel good. What we ve done here? Ok guide and I'm not gonna, try to make out array and am looking. For to the lesbian memoir in three years you gotta help me find a lady they'll, be emailing for common. Thank you.
I like her. I like a book, it's cute, amber toast. Thank you. Thank you for coming. driver say that, after their god, she's long gone, goaded, deputy ipod, dotcom powered by squares pays to check out. My tour dates gets emerged, did you ever you're gonna do take care of yourself and please really think about what you're doing. Could you please just think about what you're doing and if it's shitty try to try to curb it or stop it, no guitar to them too hot. I'm saving my ears. Okay,
but today, just for today can you give my ears arrest,
Transcript generated on 2022-09-06.