A guy far I'd words do this: how are you what the fuckers, what the fuck bodies, what the buccaneers, what the bottlenecks, what happening a partner, and this is my podcast w ts, how's it going. Oh! No, it's going! I why probably know what's going on, but I did not am not reacting to it directly cause. I recorded this a few days. Before I left for a vacation so this is how this might be mean at least a little emotionally dated. I have no idea. What's happened. in the last few days or I'm owed, that's not true. I again I probably have an idea, but I'm not reacting to it. Either emotionally or literally, because If I was, I would be able to see the future

and generally, when I think I see the future. It's not good. Woman was so maybe I could speculate then. Maybe I am. I could possibly paint a picture for my imagination that might sink right up with what happened since I recorded on saturday last saturday, but I'm not going to do Like I'm gonna say what are you saying Can I hope, I'm having a good time. I you know what might not be optimistic, I'm having a great time maybe I'll out at present. Get the fuck another week oh god, I don't know how we can get through this shit, what a fuckin wow just try to keep your. I don't know. Man is just it's weird when everything to do. That is your life and that by bringing enjoyment just feels like europe. Off the inevitable or avoiding something that requires

immediate andor, horrifying attention as not that's not good. Why would you stick with the I you know, I I'm I'm a I'm on vacation. I'm am having a nice time as nice, as I can. I hadn't had the Vacation I haven't had a vacation in a long time, so I'm trying it out trying to get my head straight, trying to breathe some air look at some pretty ah sweep some sleep rights. things down fortify my heart and mind that kind of stuff. Ok, all right, so I don't know what's happened, I'm out again, I'm sorry, I'm not responding. Do I type in the last few days, because I I recorded as a while ago so well vacation without recording out there forgot dimension who's on the show, what's happening, there's several guests actually

on the show. Today, it's funny when I read the blue apron copier reminds me my character and the much hedberg movie low central out is that fairly, is not available anywhere to anyone by think you can probably see it somewhere. It's gotta be out there, I played the the many writer I am just twelve klaus, so ill clubs. When I read a blue apron now copy there it reminds me of that. Carry that's a long long time ago make him which Hedberg movie. I got that lovely box set reason the Hedberg stuff on vinyl, it's great today, on the show, a couple again right now. I'm going have a john hodgman and jesse thorn. They are part the very very funny day a one day, podcasting festival in Chicago and Saturday february, eleventh with live performances of judge john when Jordan Jesse go the flophouse, stop podcasting yourself and more. You can go to maximum on dot org for tickets and after

and jesse. I talk to The aggravated joe de rossa, comedian, I've known for a few years of never just had there I'm to get him in here is good. To talk to Joe, I feel like were kind of kindred spirits, so pretty loaded, schoeffer vacation weak. Let's at let's go now. This is me talking to John hodgman and jesse thorn you're in the garage You would think I would have gotten a new situation. Fellers right, I see I mean you helped me certain. You help me set up this situation, almost ice, its nice situation. Nowhere is a nice situation where ensconced this, particularly when the weather school, where he icons in your piles and piles of books right, You know, I think about it myself. Sometimes I am. Why come do I have to have that

Headphone amateurs dangling off the side of another piece of equipment can I buy rarely use. We like I like that you have this radio shack telephone had said here right out. Yeah, I definitely landline it. That's my We land line, that is the exactly it's the radio shack landline and that thing under it is a tell us. Do you know from your radio we activity. I gotta tell us you got on my my telos earlier today, but isn't like that's it as a piece of rack radio equipment that you, MR record phone calls way. Now I have to assume that there is a technologically easier way, but no one's told me one I mean: is there another user, telos baby, that's I got, I think, we're transitioning to tell us yeah we're switching over to tell us. We ve been trying to do a technological ways and never works right around to phone lines. Have both eu yeah we're fur judge shall not drink as john records in brooklyn,

record and allay we have guests in a studio somewhere, oh and so like we're just sick of skype. Failing he's right eye it. Doesn't this and qualities not their right and you don't want to get a nice, the airline I'm guessing. We they can't even get an ice, the line anymore. true, you have him, obey, won't but went in for you anymore. I had one in here briefly that I never used years ago, that shit is over yeah. Why cause they're moving towards a new technology? No just because it was mostly used for you know. The theory was that it was a high speed internet connection the end. So, but it's not high speed relative to any other high speed internet connection amiss. And the number of people who want to use it for broadcasting is about ten in each city so saga its. I thought it was a satellite connect. What we need is some hipsters to start up and artisanal retro. I s de incest yanks within you need the whole other piece of equipment that it did delivers highest. That's all other piece of work that duplex her yeah that you

put the ice d, an outlet in two and then run it into the mixer like that. That piece of equipment which I have briefly is actually confusing and difficult issue Gallagher number pat on it, he d have to type in secret co. Yes, yes, when it, I just want to say how much I appreciate mark you're, making eye contact with me during this portion of the conversion. Is I don't know anything? Yeah thanks are trying to keep me involved in presuming that I know I know very little ass. He will a test. I thought my situation. Jesse Jesse might have killed about your situate. Yes, how does this compared to mice at you in just two years ago a rough yeah right but workin on what was a problem with my situation or john records the whole thing in his office right right, but for some reason, John, I have a stark minimalist. You have static. think with a volume of books that John has or just the violet The john is written, the there would be book lined walls, and you know you could imagine johns office like with

scary rag carpet the add on the ceiling with club, chair ya, you not just for bear walls, yet one of which is literally a mirror. He records into a window. We don't he's my so it sounds like it. Actually, just got one of these new happier sounds and no matter what he does it sound sort of like that that one reverb room under capital raw you got it puts on this stuff up ya, gotta get some foamy foams, the idea I rugs like a nice, I got a nicer cozy red come in there, you go now or talk yeah. You can stick some of these panels around the original pie, lined all the walls with ceramic plates. No choice, I don't know which did you read that in cycles, like all vintage it's like you see, diner and we should put in that kind of like those adjustable audio reflectors that make you that change the tone from classical teach. Ok I'll go with that so out both of you I see I've known you for a few years and neither one of you had the amount of

air coming out your faces, jesse, we do have really committed that east transition from one I would think, was sort of what a dandy into a real person. If I find out about it that I am wearing like a chore jack that right now and John. I don't know what you know, what what stage of evolving into what are you solving from into? Well, you know I. I grew a mustache about five years ago I remember and, as I was jealous, I'm like he's doing my thing I was I didn't I was inadvertently. Do I didn't mean to be copying you, but we need everyone once you saw patch comes into play nets. Well, there s a million. I happen we unread bone. That's right, mustache, without without soul. Patch, though, gets very quickly into our call a cop out right, so and I saw the mustache was easy to explain because that was just live- grew that, with the same reason, all forty year old, we're adds further mustache. It's it's a signal to the biological mating community. I'm done

because if we rapidly inveterate no, I don't. I thank you and I don't know about it. Ass rides pricing has heard of I have put my genetic material, into the world? I are no longer required. I thought that was usually a weight gain thing. I find that the moustache may not be putting that message out into the world blah I, but I am not you, but I I generally. I thought that when you want to signal that you just forget that you can eat everything well right, exactly and then, but decide. Growth is beard here because I just felt compelled to what would come out of my face, because I think everyone wants to know what kind of europe mayor yeah lives inside of it, and how much do I got yeah yeah and what I learned by the secret man lives inside me. Apparently is the part time bookkeeper at the church of satan. if you're a little thin on the sides, but full on the chin. Yeah. I get a lot, I'm a I'm. A natural born neck beard, yeah yeah, yeah natural born. This- is this Oh, my god, I don't have any neck beard weaves in what that does say. I'm done that next year. Thank you! Yes, but just

he's been cultivating something very like I guess. I got a magnificent at first one evening I started seeing his new twitter avatar is, like you know, he's in, and this is what he's doing now. If someone goes what suggests he up to I mean I imagine he's working on his beard and moustache know. Do you know what the honest truth is mark I I wanted to have a beard since I can remember yeah, but I couldn't I presumed I couldn't do it. And by the time I figured out that I sort of could and like my beard in terms of real goddamn, horatio alger stories to be minus. You know like it's not the greatest beard when you don't have the full, you don't have dense hair, but you've you've grown it out. Yes, yeah and though we essentially, I figured by the time I got my weird was on the downward trend, the eye. Like seven out of ten, will yet again being royal over right. Do it I figure

do it I'd better, do it? Why are you I can't half do right? No, five, o clock shadow zurich. If I have to have a full on crazy persons beer to show you I know what it is right? I know where it is on the train, but I'm going to do. What but, but knowing you and knowing that you know you ever you're, probably a sock, weave preference there certain products in that. Perhaps I was just thinking that their products that you raised, urged and figured out what you for yourself has got to be. You know very exciting What kind of products are you willing into that fucking moss your face, you have to use mustache wax, not because you want alike like have a cure, curly q mustache, because otherwise, if if your mother She is longer than your lip. You are constantly eating. Your must see. I was just about to mention that what what there's almost an optical illusion going on because your beer, your beard,

thinner than it seems yes, but the mustache tricks you into thinking a full luxurious thing, because I'm looking you from the side profile here and I'm noticing once again, and I ve noticed before. Let them your mom stash seems to grow like out Ninety degree angle from poppea is like reaching out like alien tendrils and start we're. The next generation of wax as monitor control, whereas my moustache, if I were to grow it as long as yours, because those are long hairs or nostrils yeah, they would just Amir. go directly into my mouth and then try strangle me with from within grandma uv alone and try and take an end and in an aura boroughs title. Consume myself here you gotta run it you gotta, wax it under a very complicated and elaborate poetry. We had the ever a boroughs refuge for them. you don't know or arouses the snake that each its own tail. Yes, what I call a really dumb snake sure, and also a fine metaphor.

for the world, we are living in true enough. He s I think the arbroath was created as a an alchemical symbol of some kind. Wasn't it or does it go further I thought that it was a reference to yurman gondor, the world snake that surrounded the midgard in norse mythology that maybe the snake around the year. I think it's one of those odd symbols that that existed for some reason in many ancient culture. It's very compelling to think that the snake out there that says germans going to eat it's own tail yeah! Well, I bet it, but you know, as far as a as you know, when you look at the evolution of the the thoughts around the idea of sinning and what nadia you on a very simplistic, primitive level that can be every fuckin mistake. You make yeah, that's right, are you are you are reminds us that we're all dumb dumb snake, exactly that is causing our own pain. Don't do this yeah exactly say I dunno what you're talking about. I have a tail anymore. I cut that off at birth right yeah. Well, I dunno what a meeting yeah

So why not? I just want to promise your listeners at some point. I am going to cough and it is going to be disgusting, but you gotta, aiming at. I am under the weather me, but I am naturally in an aging decrepid human being that that an end listeners to the judge and hotter and pod gas will know if they are heard me cough that everyone goes only god. Are you all right It's like an old judge should have that look yeah, let's see what we have here in front of the book today. As you dispense justice, you said here that you are not long. That's right, yeah! That's right! Why not forgive my ignorance, but you just produced it? Are you an artist he's the bailiff okay, I you remember like bouncer yeah, you remember like a the the people's court yacht shirt back back or judge judy may have a they have a bailiff or night court. Aren't they still on?

is ny ct. I just had young arquette in here: did you really wonderful conversation or da da da da bird or don't don't? Don't? Don't don't? Don't don't do one? So I I will continue to do that. That said that that was the best slap pace in network television of people. A lot of people go to seinfeld for that, but you're going to have to go back to night court night court was there long before and good run, yeah, absolutely melter may, like nine years. That thing was on a good show. So if I judge, Harry and high court jesse would be my bale of bull now or rise. I get how works and that's it. That's just sure some people are enjoying ass though he brings so he bring well people call and real disputes yeah and then jesse?

where's the men and then I'll walk them through their disputes, which are largely about things like what jesse I can ever now. My favorite one is was a fight between two brothers who bought a house in rural canvas year, known forever it's the bat brothers, because the house that they bought in rural kansas, you buy a house to save money yeah and they bought this house together to save money. But the problem with the house was bats kept getting into the house through. One of the bathroom walls- oh my god, the whole yeah, and so the dispute was one of the brothers said. We have to fix this hole. Bats are getting in here then the other brother who was like completely taciturn like a total kansas he or die yeah he's like we bought this house to save money. I'm not gonna spend fifteen hundred dollars in a battle in his recommendation was, is at amelioration scheme yeah was to keep a dictionary by his bed right and if he saw a bat,

one ass it with an optional fire. It was a two part system of John I had to I hate to correct you here I apologize to port system was number one. There would always be a phone book next to the following lack right, so that if a bad guy into the bathroom. You could smash it and they would always keep the bath. Room door closed so that the bathroom would be like a bad air lock, it would be ass. It had bad bad isolation generous. Yet this is a real and I was a hundred per cent what do you do one issue per show? Yes, ok, so I'll here sides, the thing and then I'll say you got up. That's what you really got to do is have a reality, show right back ass. Had they fix no, they sold the house that they know they had. I think they they eventually sold the house, but they had to have a jar into which they put. It was like dollars or twenty dollars every time a bat got into the house and were that jar to fill

were required to patch up the hall, the money that was pretty wise of me, you're, very wise man, the problem is that I forget my wisdom immediately, move on to new justice. I've been using that case as an example of what happens on judge John hodgman for like five years, because it's the only one- I remember. Isn't there a big plan? Aren't you guys doing and abbott and costello stick? Are you doing a while? We've been touring judge John hodgman, which is super fun yeah, it's fun for me, because people like judge John hodgman, unlike any of my other, show so they come come to live shows. And then you know it's fun because we get to yell at these, be in real life right, I am worried about the audience. You give people the penalizing in people's. He added cases right just like they do for the yacht cast, but we they submit them specifically to be heard on stay right in wherever we're going to do it in the next one we're doing as in chicago and february eleven yeah. This is gonna, be like a twelve hours called very.

if one day and it's gonna be like a twelve hour maximum fun podcast end, some chicago pod casts extravaganza like valuable rooms folly. A hall I know that place. I do I feel like I know, you're, not her house. Yeah was shuddered for years and years and years than some nice young men with beards, came and turned it into an art space. Oh that's good! I like I've been there. The last couple of days have been their play. The VIC, oh yeah, the images about its a great theatre yeah, but I feel like it may be, that the the one of the festivals use value could be recently yeah. That could be. I feel that might be it so there's mainland has been open for maybe a couple of years, many spaces within it. Yet there's a bain main theatre space: right is gorgeous when we talk in a hundred cedar, twenty five thousand seats as big, I think, probably something. that no, I bet the bulls pay. They earn holes play there for a while, but there weren't enough luxury. I do

old, fair yeah now had red velvet curtains and they got a restaurant in their and they they a lounge in the basement where they play some smooth jazz, new zealand we ve got this. We got big, podcast is going to be us and the flophouse jordan jesse go oh no, Russia, who were you to Jesse thorn podcast. Well, it's cheap more efficient? How are you doing a bull's eye to know we're not doing balls? I there those eyes, your secret data, public radio, treasure it what secret and sets no in physics to it. what do you mean? No one really successful show on national public radio. If that's what you mean by secret, he checks the rankings every day. I remember when the what was the old show on public radio sound of young america, the sound of young america was one of those ones where I think I told you this story, Where can I did that dumping with you in santa cruz? One

in college like when he says dumb thing John. I dunno. If you know this, but one of the first time in maybe was the second time I interviewed mark Jordan, and I who does journalists who go with me, were still in college and it was fund fundraising, show and we were doing it from the base of the use of santa cruz camp is where you have to drive passed to get in here in our underpants ya. Mark was on the phone. Lesson I but like I did it in ten years later in a story, a queens, you know making some coffee in my kitchen night here, npr at night and ass, like live from my living, getting jesse for jesse thorndyke. Isn't that fuckin kid is? There was in his underwear that, like you, I did all right for himself at god, I'm I'm at jesse as because I was a guest on the sound of young america too, and I remember being told I guess I was on some radio dead, always think right. While this was when, after you had graduated from, I was still living in san Francisco. I mean we're looking at was two thousand and four or five was two thousand and five, because it was from the first book yeah the area

am I explained it was before you wear a celebrity. That's right, is on the eve of your celebrity was so it was something celebrity eve and what happened while my I was just said, do you have time for one more phone or an I, and I think it was near christmas, and I was up in the woods of new england with my family, I'm like well You said this is it. This is a woman named Jesse foreign hypocrisy is tat. She has a pod, gaskell descent of young america that has also indicated in while a while a washington and had his bergman. scipio on radio rather Debbie, you anything. I said. Ok, that's good, and if you ve ever heard the voice of jesse thought and you have been hearing it, it is a beautiful and telling radiologists voice yeah, but imagine, been toil and is thus a woman's voice was of it. If it was a very.

Nina Simone was a very confounding phone call to have, but I was immediately struck by the the intelligence and preparation behind this strange woman We man, woman voices with perfect radio diction, who has only heard in harrisburg in guatemala and- and I always beginning of a beautiful relationship ya mean literally our now now look mark. I literally I booked John, the show on the basis of I. This is like a funny mcsweeney's guy, like I'd seen as mcsweeney's thing: oh yeah, that's pretty funny yeah and I booked them on there, and What he was so funny on the show em, maybe still the funniest guest had ever been on the show and my if an I went out to his book reading me out

a week later in the haight in san francisco and literally the crowd at his book reading, for which he had brought his and our friend Jonathan Colton, dressed in buckskins and a coonskin hat literal bucks. Jonathan, who plays guitar and is, is my aisle I definitely what am I better friends, I refuse to say best friend, cause I've met him a couple time from new england, young I'm emotionally stunted human, but yeah. I was scared to go on the road by myself, so he came along with me and I, the gig was those I would protect. Jonathan was my feral mountain men butler. Ah now, He had observed any stick. We so he's. Sir John is trying to do his stick with poor donovan dressed up in this outfit, and the crowd at this is the people that work at the bookstore s me my. wife. My now, why then girlfriend teresa? a man who had driven John there frank lauria and man.

and got out to frank. While I forgot and update, aggers and Dave anchors is baby aroused good. Man just just just just walks out for his big entrance in his buckskins, you Jesse He's the nicest man on earth brilliantly town, yet Larry S, and he just walk and he's like yeah yeah, I'm wherein the buckskins for these In eight years rainwater arise there were one or two other people there, but that's basically correct literally like one or two and the reason I that is that I I was reading a bit from my book describing the old street car on the three card monti jirga. You know at the three card model sure. But it's it's disappear because they wanted to watch the rat. Yet it has not disappeared. I saw someone doing it the other day. We are telling us annually for you, and I also saw someone selling tiny turtles, which was like us stay,

of my mother's another staple my mother's entirely, their internals yang living tiny turtle arise. Are they doing retro street crime about retro street scale? just wasn't, endorses so sprawling that there's just parts that I've never advanced beyond. Nineteen sixty three eleven didn't get a retard the erika is right: there's the guy with the cards and there's a guy pretending to bet money. That is talking you into betting money and there might be one other show there and then there's a couple of guys watching for cop exactly I wanted to give when I saw the guy actually doing it. I wanted to give him five dollars in the same way that you would support someone who is keeping clogging alive yeah. That's true! I lost art form could user by what, when my white, when we were in this was a thing like an art and he's really new york right and I fell for it, but I do too and my wife never see twenty. I won't ever more quickly. My lifetime fell for it, but she what she saw at one time and her friend said three card monti and cheese, and my wife was not my wife for the times, because how do you know his name is monday?

when they got that guy pressure neo, like you know like it, I think I watch I get twenty or fifty hours earlier because easily come on my view their bullying you to put your money down right and then you don't you a lot of times they they they'll, kick the thing out and split because a car for whatever right like eating right when you eat, you can't even get the opportunity, not the wood when it bad, no, don't mark that they do not missing and the opportunities there there's no winning now, there's no willingly yard could I have been taken so hard and so humiliating lee humiliating way anyway, that I wrote of a joke you bit about it in my book and I'm it in san francisco and I'm not getting any any response. Yeah cause. I don't know what it is I said, is it that is it that you don't have three card monty here or everyone in san francisco is just so virtuous that they would never con one another and some, and so one of the audience said that's what it is every area. Everyone nihilism here comes who are you?

how many books to be written, John, three books and I'm about to write a fourth really. What's this one about so for the past thirty years since I wrote my last book of fake facts and bogus trivia, goofball absurdest humor No one knows the difference anymore, arrogant. Well, I I realize I couldn't pedal it anymore. I literally couldn't do I stop basic stop being on the daily show cause the character I was doing. The derange millionaire yeah had been based on donald trump. Had it been based on twenty eleven. When Donald trump was going on, cnn fox and everything else, peddling, the birth or conspiracy- and I was I said to the daily show: that's that's it. We should yeah, you know, like I just some a rich the guy, who has to be on the news because he decides to be right. You know what I mean, and so I said, let's turn my character into that they're like okay. Let's do that and then once

Donald trump became a reality going into twenty fifteen when trevor no it took over the show we are talking about. Would you like to stay honour that like to, but I need to think about what to do sickness, nothing I can do. I can't compete with the long form improv, the bad guys do. like there's, no everything that I've ever done. Community, the high risk dangerous improv yet of the incoming administration. Right by that time it was just just get an absurd campaign is nowhere near the horrible reality in my opinion, or about right now. I don't know where you guys stand I'll steiner with you. I mean, Pierre journalist, I have no opinion. You Jesse has no opinion so yeah there aside basically said I I'm out, you know cause my my humour in that vein, always been like. Take this and then take it to the next level. Then it's logical conclusion and then take it to its illogical conclusion right and an absurd.

Conclusion, but trump was already doing that and then going beyond that. So for the past couple of years, instead of travelling around doing judged on hodgman and then also doing by one men, imitation stand a comedy show which is just moralist, straightforward, storytelling from my actual life does well. You do well with that. Do incredibly well I'll get twenty five thousand seated value hung a hundred thousand here, you point twenty five thousand cedars everyone here, that's right everywhere, he's gonna actually doing it. six in a row in dublin, if I don't have a love country, music there so very way out to arena in london, tat, night and great town, dublin, I displayed their two not too long ago. I really liked it I've. Never! You know I've never been to dublin or ireland is one of the most beautiful places on the planet via its end, like if no genetic connection to it I get there and, unlike this is beautifully, I feel like I could get get it ready to which, beyond my ay and the aid in my name, you get moran yeah radio quicks, which you now

They are right in thinking about it. Aren't you I just! I live when I went to when I went to the kilkenny Festal, I did not do well there, but I was so taken by the country itself and the landscape and the people who I just felt mark, you know you were there. No, your natural home in ireland is what belfast get out of dublin get into belfast. My stepmother is from belfast thea like grew up with, and that's your people, Maria belfast is a land of just profound bitterness and bitter hello. Like anger, I arc as they will go to the darkest place in half a second I find that a lot of irish will do that, but not the I dont send bitterness. I like the idea that the slightly defeated crankiness in writing. I am ready to darkness, I get it

lasting mean. I added I move through the bitterness and now I'm sort of like, whereas some of these the warm kind of like that that the cranky darkness slightly You did that kind of ends existential pleasant. You know that you're moving towards something in it in its ok. At the end light of my early dissected, the irish character. It's true maya, my uncle John, my wife and I went in and have lunch with him when I was in belfast last, which was room five years ago and we met him in this nice cafe this nice organic Hey you know like a real tofu and bean sprouts savage, and I'm looking around and I'm thinking like man, there sure are a lot of pictures of like Yasser Arafat on the walls here at this organic cafe that my uncle has had us meet at and apparently he basically he had us meet in this case.

phase. That is like a socialist revolutionary cafe, underneath shin vain headquarters that used to be ira headquarter because that's like Where he's most comfortable. My uncle is like a sixty year old, like guy, that runs the computers in an office but, like his comfort zone, is at their heritable. Wants it be in their actual, is no general residence at any time of possible social murderer, a murderous violence and that to him is the fun like my stepmother funny during the chill ever tell you is oh yeah, in time. One time a police officer tried to sexually assault me and I kicked him in the nuts and then I kicked him in the face down a flight of stairs. Ah, that's the thanksgiving salaries gather table careless things enough grandma's can say it sounds like they are probably the best equipped people for the next four years.

We are not literally the thanksgiving story. Mark they only got meet once a week and as my some others, a father died when she was very young, should grow very poor in a big failing Now the item at her says yeah, but only once a week As far as I'm out over many many weeks is each kid got one rasher of bacon the herbs a ration of rashers, one ration of rashers and yeah, and my step mother's sister tried to steal her rashers of bacon yeah and my stepmother who's, the youngest in the family, who was like eight or ten yeah. I stabbed her sister through the hand with a for the bacon for that? Why did he was able to protect employees or evaluate asked irish stories idea there too heavy? For me, I thought you wanted to go to a place of work,

existentialist uplifting. You are founded on like potato famine, some that's more of a hundred years. The data family, like you, know, well, you know we get by a dark imagining, but with a little a little information at the inn, I've got to get the maximum patch. their pinned to the bulletin board. On the one time I was invited the time. I said I was the benevolent colonel of the nerd plantation, and that was the best. That was the best description I had ever had until I have you ever read Tom arnold on your show. Yes, tomorrow is kind of an amazing guy. You get two for one with him, yeah, better hasty they came on balls. I said that I looked like the bouncer at a historic strip of ours. Vanunu that that's her fast. I outlined surpasses democratic love. That's true! That's fair! So I we're promoting this. Should cargo thing now. Will you ask them to to the door. I mean we're going to try and do it over the summer submarine fear, nine chicago. You can in the podcast yeah for sure, of course, but the big event

oh yeah it. While you gotta lotta seats is dollar twenty five thousand five there I think they're about twenty four thousand live wow. So yes, goods are sold out. We're gonna have some tea goes directly to root out, don't owe them where the fuck am. I here it actually sorry you drag him out from we're going to do this. Oh sorry, well thanks for talking through his. Why give you have a closing message, ladies and gentlemen Please answer: I have found you guys, like you so much cranky mark I Those fellows ah right go to maximum fun dot org for tickets to the thing in the very very fun day that there are involved with india. You know, that's it! That's it for those dudes

alright! So I'm going to talk to Joe de Rosa now Joe de Rosa, I met new york. I used to see him around he's been on. He was on the show years ago on a live one you can go to. De rossa comedy dot com for Joe specials in podcast and all things joe. This is me and the mildly. self involved in tormented jody, rosa Rosa buddy in a while has been last time. I think I saw you we had conversation about whether or not we were wearing shorts or capri pants. and who were who cut their they're fucking genes. I believe we are very proud that we made our own cut off? Yes, but mine went up a little higher than yours, and then there I saw the flurry of. security in you as to whether or not

I was right. You are right and decided. I think, in your heart that you'd make the right by cutting years off just above the knee say it I saw mine were too short and years were even shorter we're not our they too shorty idea, one if you or any longer they d, be capri pants, I too, now mind above the caprice. go you ve got like some space about yeah go where the caprice you then then, there's clamp. Member clam diggers is that's not the same thing is capri pants. That's like a little higher than caprice, parents clam diggers. May I don't know, maybe I miss that fact that not everyone within this calamity? around a short shorts back in the day sure I like I am, I remember I did cargo shorts for awhile because they were easy now year they bought them everywhere.

Maybe many years ago I had a couple of pairs of tennis shorts. When I might have plain a little tant played a little tennis, but cut offs have always been sort of the the thing I did. I've had longer shorts. I, like or short, so I think I could have been a little longer without being at a capri pant. I threw those shorts away real. I warm that one day and I never warm ever again. What happened I just was too self. It didn't feel right to me. It really re it's not good, even though they were a little shorter than I would wear them p. I wore them well right and yet a great line by the way. I should I cut my off this morning, and you said so did I and I go how'd, you do yours and you go. I brought in a team that that, because I was just like there were to me, there is like this whole science. Like how do you, when you're not living with somebody? How do you cut your own, shorter yea, or will you know, talk. You know you mention is right when we got in about tat now to be alone. What would your right?

I saw you I wouldn't be living with somebody with me. Like a woman, yeah yeah is to do with you. I do did these short skinny come over and sometimes I would had a just to have a personal mare person to to say that those are good job I look at it Joe it's it's a consultant, no matter how its roommate wife into my ok, you're, ok joe! Yet, can you come over and do that for me I am been living alone for fur most adult life life's arm. Just I'm getting it, I'm thirty, nine, I'm getting to the age where I'm like him. I did I run out of time here today for the, why I feel, I should have been in a significant relationship- I now by thirty nine. Yet my long, lest she was eight months and unlike I, could have been longer than that by now yeah you know yeah hey, especially You go yeah yeah. What I mean, I I understand what you're saying, bidding longer relationships, they don't usually and successful right?

I you know I, you know. These are two sides of a of a coin. Here you haven't had a when you think you should have. I have had plenty that just ended up in the toilet I would say that yours, yours falls. the sight of better to have loved and loss than to never have loved. It are better to have thought you of love and You have to wonder whether you're even capable of it it s a bit. But are you? Are you in a relationship now, which is why you get to live out in this great neighbourhood? Is that's what I was saying to you was well, I mean you get to live out here either way, but I said to you when I first showed up nea. I love his neighborhood. If I wasn't so terrified of being alone, I would I would live at all yeah, but I I had that day how long you lived out here three. over three years from new york. The first couple years I lived here, I lived over by the old, you see be upon you on franklin. Rather, it is about two blocks of walking traffic wrecked his story,

fronts right here. I think that when you you come from new york is natural desire to be able to walk outside, walk to restore walked to the by your by atwater village can walk by their maybe wave to guide the place right right. You, bioenergy, pastry, yeah right, you don't need a fine exam, then you know go try to think you're, not alone for little one an illusion: it's a holodeck, it's just! I wouldn't its origin in the sense that you away is fundamentally not that kind of city, and it is hard it's a hard adjustment to make. But look if we're having those four blocks of useless fucking stores in restaurants. Her enables you to feel comfortable. It does it. Does it really? Does I'm not gonna take that away from you? Thank you. I'd appreciate it. It's going to diminish here. Let me end by little thing like. Where do you go in the morning? I d get up and you like, ok here, my rounds, why have a dog? So I get up? I walk my dog

I tried to do like an hour. Walk with the dog. First thing, really like a strenuous, sir, not a strenuous just kick gets him exercise It gets me out and walkin around again juices go and you think you re right whatever that I come back and I do I do have a mile on the treadmill we're just to wear it How sweated out, I would give my building that I live in. You have an building that has a gym, yeah atwater her. So you have a full service apartment situation, not renting a house really No, I'm not apartment with all the amenities, as also so you did you you that's another. Now natural adjustment from new york. very good. You rented a house like most people. Do you be like I can there's nothing you be sleeping on the floor. Wondering fisheries thing somewhere they break I. to the house. When I first got here and I would call the landlord it be like hey so these filters I argued in the air conditioners and they'd be like yeah and I was like so come and they were like

I don't you go and you do it and I got so then I'll just take it out of the rat neurotic. Now now it's a house, you just cite dry owning one. The disaster is on the same way and because of that things have to get pretty bad. Round. Here for me to make changes what words if you're, sad and alone sat alone. We know back let's circle back to that I mean I feel, like that's a thing that you and I could talk about for a very very long. Time will blow hadn't been alone a long time, and I don't know sometimes whether or not I stay in relationships are I'm in them you're because I'd. I agree they're not be alone I wish I had that problem, because I do the opposite. Terrified of being alone. Yet I run. Let me let me I don't know if I've ever shared this with anybody. When I approach when I start to approach a commitment, a commitment of any kind I'd, say an intimate romantic commitment, because our cause making friends yeah, you know, and all that stuff, but alas,

the time when I approach an intimate than they really your friends ojo. I dont know how we're like this comic rag, can't make friends with your, I am alright yeah. I could see it as funny. This is a would do a quick. What about you? If you could go eat you want to eat what the fuck at the time I saw you this was years ago. You are, you are not dating the person you're dating now I dunno who you were dating, but ye as in good. You are you at the umbrella was the first time I saw you after a near l yeah, and The last time I'd seen you was in new york. We did opie and anthony together and, as I was leaving, you said, hey man. If you ever need a place to stay, you call me dude, you're, good guy got your back and I was like that's really nice and I knew I would never ask you for that favorite prey to a it met, at a lot. It was comforting just two here, so I saw you at the proud yeah. I was, I had a place to live in a I just was feeling down. I was

really adapting and I walked up to. I came in I, u doing just moved out here. Finally, what's going on with you and you just went relationships are hard any. You walked out now the whole mercedes That was a media. Now Europe mean it was just one of them I think that with you- and I always got along- I you know I was always surprised- I think initially, I was surprised because you know you have an italian name. Joe DE rossa cut your hair. kind of bro, your little metro, we at first, I always before. I knew you kind of lumped you win now with guys it in liker guys. I didn't think we're funny, but guys who I thought were the opposite of me. Russia, when when I met you and actually hung out with. It was a revelation that somebody who looked like you could be asked. Secure and fucking knotty, the alike you are like. You are a portal. did the reality that that people who look

they're from Philly. Can I fucked up in secure guy yeah now that I get that allowed from people you do I get it constantly people like me, like you, you have this. You give up this initial first impression that you're maybe a little like meat, Hetty or some rife or abrasive. if ever I know about it I do my comedy. My comedy is not very uplifting put my hands not, but it that mean, and it's not like narrow minded its introspective and in kind of hard on yourself. Yes, it's a lot of what the fuck is wrong with everybody and me we had me and got more everybody everybody, but its becoming more, not everybody! I we were getting to the real thing. Yeah, maybe we're getting it. Let's get to the real thing really yet, but I'm serious I get this all the time. People go. You're, not you're you're, like a nice that of guy who really emotional yeah, I cry it stuff all the time, and yet it was the last time he cried it

I got a little theory watching the finale of Sherlock, the other night. I really I mean what shall I do know where people find time worthy shows. What is that show where's it on its side dive I was catch. And the pbs app other new season? was being released, a masterpiece theatre on pbs up here which item ever watch masterpiece. They interact with because I could get the new season, the airlock right, but I love the shouts great, but I get here. I call cry out of elation mere you know like when I saw the force awakens, though the second alas star wars will be. I cried when, like Hon solo came back on the screen out of nostalgia, inhalation, sure, and I get that I mean I I tear up pretty frequently. I have I've watched some movies lately, where I teared up. I can I tear up at certain points during an a and a a pitch, very sorry,

stories. Yeah, I cry you know not. I don't watch many commercials anymore cause, I'm not watching a lot of regular t v, but I definitely get moved but alright. So we cry, I get it yeah. We cry. Okay, age of innocence, but where'd you grow up. Are you philly guy. I was born in philly yet, and then I grew up outside officially in a small town. Called college veil or trap was the other name of asked ironically, but but I grew up in a suburban town. That was very. I've no ill will towards my hometown. It's where I grew up. I have a lot of love work, but about a very what to call the town trap tiara Adam Billy. Was it not farce twenty miles or something? Ok, so you ip by philly, was your city yeah fill. It was my shit nurse down pennsylvania king of pressure, that will you thirty nine where'd. You start doing comedy we really? I certain and all black club called the laugh house in philadelphia was one of two white comedian who, with the other

I b J, a J had already moved on. Jay started there with Kevin hart right and Kurt metzger and they moved out of philly about a year or two right where I started right and then started moves MIKE Vecchio was the other work, and then there was another guy Rocco still remember. I know my vacuum and who Rocco, who Rocco, stow or bride, still he's at the store. Sometimes you ve probably met him in the eye. Andalusia, he's the guy You thought I was like he is: oh yeah, I'm not saying that. As a slight. You know I love the guy, but he is very philly he's very I guess so. What are we doing? Do you know? You know what I mean. Yeah yeah he's very much that guy, but he's a great dude he's hilarious. Why are you not that guy cause some damage and broken is adopted. Yeah I'm adopted, wait now, okay, so how many siblings dia none my parents couldn't have kids. My mom wanted to have six kids. That was her dream. She couldn't conceive. Got pregnant once and had a miscarriage yeah than they adopt in me and the way they had done their religious p.

and the way they adopted. I'm like yeah, catholic romeo awfully and the way they adopted me was it by some people's interpretations would have had a oh yeah element to it like show what happened? Was they ve? You have you have no parents? I have no parents, they just appeared. There was no father, yeah yeah, I was it immaculate conception, tat. Now my parents were on two different outta adoption list. They were secular list in it in a church list in the church, this called my parents and said you have to remove yourself from all other lists. If you want to remain on our list and my parents said we're not doing that, the church said well, if you dont than you're gonna, have to take yourself a far less than they said well, what will were not removing ourselves, many other lists and the next day the sec, where called them and they got me so my mom saw that as a miracle that had they listen to the church. At that moment they wouldn't

gotten me the miracle in the wrong direction. Now it's yet do issue I'm fucked up now. Is we're telling you it's a miracle, but then it's not a miracle, because it's a miracle against the church yeah the church wanted you to turn your back. Yes on the possibility. yeah, yeah yeah, so that was the that was the beginning. Renew born a signal days old. really, and I never remember, being told that was adopted. I always knew like they, so they me from an early age or me, and what what? What would your dad do? What do as well as the family business? Would you grow up in my dad? worked in computers and later became a deacon of the catholic church, really that's what he does now he's a deacon now, where is the hierarchy, is one step below priest once that below priests he has told me of my mom dies. You would probably become a priest wow, so addict

now do what did he make enough money in the computer? Racket do not worry about their; they get pretty good pay. No, no. They use them in check them out after forty years or something like that. They laid him off after forty years with nothing. He had to work at home depot until us. You know retirement. Whenever kicked it yeah yeah yeah. We were real page after page. A growing up we didn't have. We done a lot of money, but my parents. You know I was like typical eighties. Typical eighties trap. Bullshit they bought the house that was out of there. Price range, the suburbs right gotten all this credit card debt in their jobs, them down and your mom do just administrative statues secretary. Mostly here but pigs, but they really were into the church vigilance. They still are the they still are. My dad is particularly very religious, but not a bible thumper way like he would. He has said in defense of me. You need to find your own way. This was

way, doesn't mean it? Your way he's very righteous in that sense, which is refreshing, yeah he's a pretty get it. You didn't get it laid on the whole thing and I did in school, stuff, but, as I got older it that that that sentiment got a lot more reasonable. You remember that the m the moment where you decided to Baghdad. For me. Ah I from the beginning, I never as like. I talked to catholics and sometimes like some some before our laps brother or like early on their right. Now now irvine yeah it never never moved me, I was terrified of it because I did believe because I was a kid. I behaved in the supernatural idea of there's. A pit of fire you'll burn enter whatever right, but never move me. I never enjoyed church. I was always step. Stop at my feet having to go to church also depressed from a very young age, my neighborhood, where I grew up the environment. I grew up in was very cookie. Cutter

was very uninspiring, there was no no diverse culture or anything they ask, I knew from a very young age, I'm talkin third grade, like I gotta get the fuck out of this place really like I gotta get fuck out array ago, yeah, yeah, yeah sure it was like. I just knew that it was gonna, be so long until I could do that, and that made me terribly terribly depress, while in in yourself in your introspection. What do you think the being adopted? What is implied you I mean: have you ever tried to find? No, no desire? No, no, no desire nah. I pretty much took the hint when they abandoned me: oh hey yeah! You can hold onto that. That's an old bit, yeah the beyond! Now the it's it's No, I want to take you through it properly it. Nothing to me in the beginning. I didn't think it

it didn't bottling adopted here. I didn't I didn't I didn't think about and I care then, when I was twelve, my mom broke them to me that I was not italian bra by blood of actually, when I found out later middle eastern, but she thought I was addiction cause. That's what the adoption people told her. Yet might one of my parents was dipshit aha, so I found out that I wasn't what I had thought. I was for twelve years italian yeah freak impasse. I can pass yet good enough so that was like a sort of a cage rattle at that point. In my, I think a kind of fucked me up a little bit of exotic dogs. I think he might be like he might be. Half egyptian my mom's. I love my mom dearly. I don't say this to criticize or that I know she was trying to protect me. I mom said to me at that time: don't tell anybody, because we lived in a sort of There were allowed a racist people were we lived and she didn't want me, and she was so because of this thing.

They they wanted all these kids. They couldn't have the kids. Yes, then they had this miracle in quotes, adoption bf it will. It becomes like a sort of a smothering situation. She was over protective. She was so terrified she was gonna. Lose me to the point of giving me advice in hindsight, which was in great, which was dont, tell people what you are ethically because they might after you, you found out a twelve year, they might harm. You are right and I was also getting bullied a lot in school. Why? I don't know I just work. Probably because I wasn't the guido meet had that you wanted me to be here. You know, like I don't know how like, but, however, protective was your mother over protective, in the sense that she said. Don't tell but a europe cause. Why add fuel to the fire, but not over protective? When I would cry and please switch meet, who another school right. Now you have to face your battles. You can't leave so

I don't remember why your boy, you decide you just you just yet one knows you're, just one of those guys and one of those faces yeah. I want those faces now, I'm gonna where you boy it as a kid I don't know, I don't think so. Not really, I, u, I think, gay as every young kid now I probably tended to the other side. I might have not been them in bali, but I'm had been one of the kids behind him, going it yeah fuck. That gap can grow through the first comedian. I've ever bet. That was on that side of it every committee So is on the other side of it. I was he's, eyed and always outside of things. I think that I had a certain amount of you know like I remember like I never quite felt like I fit one scanner fit in anywhere, so I would attach myself to two people. You know, and indeed they were really bullies, but I definitely always felt alone in the crowd you not only

sure. But I was never really my majorly bullied Well, I think we all, I think we are not. We are we all meaning comedians, because I hate that shit words like you know us comic it, but I think people that don't fit in all feel like that, and obviously and then we all react in two five and I would add, probably disagree that you may not have met any committees that were boys, but I I think there's a few out there yeah, I'm sure yeah. I was just being right right, yeah now I could name a few other still doing great point actually now a lot of really come to mind retract mistaken it I'm sure we all felt odd and uncomfortable or that we didn't fit in, usually what I hear what I think people that feel and uncomfortable nea. Take it out of the context of comic just people in general. That feel like that. I think you survive in your own way, that's right in it and I think that its true, if you are,

putting that out in the world. You know You're vulnerable ya, hear some people can't I vulnerability, and I guess that's what what what you were saying yeah I kind of stared into the curve and was like will why, off my chest out when I could just curl up in a bar, all over here you're on I mean in that that at a young age, because in all fairness, I was kind of a mama's boy. Cause. I was raised with such fear, yet he was afraid. Yes, you know it's weird like allowed time fears. I just thought of some very sad like yours. here's, how I was bullied if it were. If I was bullied it was this way, and this is unique and he might be able to relate to this, because I think we have something in common, no matter what but and temperament but like I would work really hard to become part of a group of friends like I would say, like those those guys are cool, so I would do everything I could to ratio myself or find a way in to hang out with them you. I was not naturally

I mean I was not the guy that everybody wanted to hang out with. I was the guy kind of like I need to be with to hang out with those people ray so a couple of times like once I finally kind of pushed myself into the social situation. They would treat me like, asshole really right, like you know like when I finally made these friends like I I you know, I really wanted to be friends with this guy dave and yet once we started to become friends, we would make plans and he won't show up that kind of shit. Ok. Well, that's it thing because when I got into high school and my high school started ninth grade the f when I went I immediately became friends with all the bad ass kids. I couldn't find where I became friends with all like the jail yard. Thinking yeah yeah yeah like I became for it and they were all like the hip. Hop kids like with the puffy starter, jacket, trench coats and all that stuff and I loved hip hop. So that was fine by me right but that's those are all the kids. I hung out with and same thing at first it

great. I got it and they really like me ever and then I became the run of the litter, and then I was the guy that they fucked with all the time the I was sort of that guy to yeah. That's interesting! Ok, and what ultimately happen with me, as I just found my own way like you know like I was high school. and then, when I start hanging out down by the university, I got a job done by the university in start to meet like people that work your way above and beyond. You know what was interesting people in high school and I start focusing on art and talk well, the guy worked at the bookstore like I realize there is another world out there and I didn't have to be tethered to a you know: drinking and driving every friday and Saturday unsure wackos. She I didn't. I didn't, We discover the other world until college mia I got out of it eventually make real friends in high school, and I did eventually have a nice time. What was your thing in high school? we lack oh yeah yeah, I play music. What would you play

Why I started up playing draw? Why plate saxophone ungrateful, then I switched to drums and high school year I then I and then I started playing in bands. I guess an eleventh half year. Some of the time I got to twelfth grade. I had a couple of bands and people though drivers Well yeah? I want one of them. I drummed in one I sang it. Oh yeah, you're, saying yeah well, yeah duh, I mean hob, I wouldn't say I'm a you know, but that implies being paid to do it, but now like yeah, I can see like what like rock you know, indie rock, oh, that kind of stuff like what songs recovering back. Then we were really come. In song. You write your own mere, were doing your writing. Songs, songs, yeah, we're right inside you write some songs. I still write some songs really gear Do they said logic? If you listen to the lyrics they are, but on the surface they sound pretty fun. Here. At home in our atwater, what your dog items. We are, there is stop on the treadmill, the right down, lyric yeah yeah. I gotta hit pause the work up.

we're all running, but there's no end in sight. There's the finish line the yeah. Is shaping up yeah fine portrait of you, I don't. I haven't done much lately, but the songwriting yeah just yet. I still do it as a hobby. I put the stuff out once in a while, but it's nothing it's nothing that like I pursue, but I did it once.

I thought that's what I was going to do and the reason I started doing comedy yeah was because I got tired of I was always a fan of comedy yeah, but I got tired of having to cooperate with three or four other guys and get everybody on the same page and I wanna band exactly a hot. I wanted to express myself more easily right, so I thought I can go up on stage without lugging drums everywhere, but I too, you did you go to a when Ziad your hip, the hedge music, guys in high school. You found your way into india, rock band right, yeah, hard core. It was hard core music at the time, a hard core yeah like a lot of scream me. Oh yeah, leah punk, like post punk, post hard core stuff up via like bands of quicksand and

into another and screaming and singing it splits a little bit of both so you're screaming and singing screaming and singing. You know isn't that much like now, yeah, that's the core of what you are. So did your band g re popular? Did you now know we now we were get our we yet was. Would you have four songs in a rehearsal space we had we had. We had ten so things enough to play like a half hour hour and we would go and do shows and nobody would show up and then sometimes we'd get on a decent show show like some kind of of punk house, yeah Philly somewhere somewhere in be a bunch of of and you'd meet some girls and drink. Some beers beers, but birthday was fun but has typical when you're at that age, Yeah you're, like we gotta, make it man the band, it's the bay and then all my bare members quit and then I was Okay, I'm the only idiot thinking. This has a chance, so they joined, their band and then I started back

from that ban and get a lot of shit from that those mammy acid. I was that guy and that's when I start to be like you know what fuck this man like. I just want to be alone, and I dont know how to play guitar right. So I better figure another way to get on stage by myself. Really that if you're, like you, had no real passion for the comedy necessarily I mean I did have passion for it with no comics edgy seen live comedy. I was an avid fan of comedy yeah avid fan and I had a huge passion for it, but my passion was for the expression side of it It was never. I never got off back then. As a fan, to have laughing at mirage of that, but I we got off at the idea of getting on stage are making people laugh. I got off on the idea of getting on stage and expressing yourself. It was Carlin that that made me want to do it. When I was twelve years old, I saw carbon and that's what planet that's mining is that's another thing we have in common the I never thought of myself in entertainer. I thought long and hard

up there in the figure out who I am yes, yeah yeah, it's there. I remember when I first started my dad said my dad pulled me aside goes has accommodated. When I go, it's good, it's good! It's! You know it's it's hard, but it's good and he goes. Are you getting something out of it therapeutically and I go yeah and he goes good and that was the whole conversation, so he knew he was like. You need some kind, yeah yeah Well, that's weird, because if that you know that if we have that common, there was some sort of some sort of like lack of sense of self. In our. Why don't we me like you like with me like? I did I hard time like I played some music and stuff, but like as always the guy that was trying to be friends with the people. You know I was a guy that felt outside of everything. Like I get it, I have a feeling like the big enough

acted too how I was brought up, but I mean I think, as I entered life and got older, I just didn't. Have a cap on my personality right and I needed to sort of like you own some space right right, I'm half! I have always said that problem since I was a kid and I it crisis. My manager said to me very recently to stop because have I slip into it. Still she said to me recently. She goes. Don't think. Don't try to think of the thing you need to do. That's gonna make everything. Ok! Think about the thing you just want to do because I still sometimes slip in a award. If we did this, then that could lead to you know issues like. Don't don't think like that. Why do here's? How I phrase it in I'd, say this right. I just gotta figure out. yeah. Why am I the jerry's eyes like yeah? Maybe you don't have to figure it out yeah, exactly I gotta figure it out. I think that's a! I think. That's a common trait with guys like us is. We think that there is a puzzle to figure out which goes back to

the I'd be I'd like to think that I'm working on a puzzled, but really I just think that I'm you know I I don't feel right. So I got figures out about It is like aid. I would, I don't have the foresight to see the puzzle like, in a moment of my guy, got a fucking? figure they shit out. Then do you ever like does it ever or are there moments where you'd were that works for you that approach I don't know mannion, you know it's like any of the lot of things have worked out. I didn't think we're going to work out and yeah there's something yeah, I'm not worried about as I used to be right, but you know I think lot of it is just has to do with with kind of like you know, if, if you, if you were kind of trying to figure things out in an always pushing and pushing pushing, I don't know that I take enough time to be grateful. I don't know if I take enough time to you,

I am constantly moving through bets like when I perform like. I don't like to know exactly what I'm doing right. You know I like to you, you know so there I still am. I don't think I'm addicted to the edge, when a that, but I liked it takes a while for me to get out of my head and into the present and the things that I do innately to do that, like improvise on stage or do what we're doing right now are very sustained sustaining to me because they get me out of my head, but once you know I spend too much time in the head. You know all bets are off and I got figure some shit out. yeah I'll get way in my head in I'll make decisions words like what it. What were you thinking mean like I'll, be running: I'm trying to get the set ready to to, hopefully do lay a late night show, and I had to recorded a bunch yet and I was recording it- a bet, a bunch of shows last night and there are pretty small shows. So I had a good. I had good recordings of it.

Small crowd record right. You could just here that the jokes working I finally end up at a show at the improved its pact, it's sold out and I go Alright, this is the shower. I'm really going to get it. You know what I'm going to change the opener yeah, I'm going to change the for and I go up. I do that and it doesn't work and I'm just like fucking idiot yeah. Why? Because I got in my head, I was like wait a minute that this is what I've been doing wrong on. It's like you, weren't doing anything wrong. Did the rest of it work bailed out of it? I bear out of here bailed out of the new set yeah, because I I'll. Just send one of the other recordings. That's it like I bailed out of it. I told the audience. I was trying to record a set, I'm not doing that anymore like doing there so like? Let's just do jokes, other jokes! Yes you! Why do you see like I've done that my life, but what you know like what it, what what was set for some time, get onto conan to promote this special that I have coming out right, yeah. So will you know I'm up so hopefully at where I should, but they needed to hear the set as a set

So I recorded it, but I was recording and I got a good recording of it, but it was an urban area now just wanted an audio to hear that the flow of, and I gotta go to record in front of a small crowd, but then I thought I can get a recording of four in for the pig crowded. There's nothing to worry about again the puzzle I just do this will be perfect and you build after the first joke. God get the first yoke didn't hit Why can't send them a set were the first where the first joke active and it's also a different joke that I've been talking to them about right. This joke they ve never heard yes, because I gotta go. Do, but at fucking nuts says four and a half minutes sets so hard man, it's so I got it down to five thirty. That was, as I don't know, how to make it a shorter here. I'm just like. Can you guys just cut of just tell me what to do when I say that they can that's usually, who you work with over their J, p I've never done the show some hoping to do it for the first time you gotta. Do that show? Why not, I hope so I really don't late night, really a pizza when I working over their pete homes issue yet carcinogen

years ago, but I've never done like proper big credit fuck off I have other credits that are good. I just thought good light that credits that back yeah I gotta I gotta get a proper late night credit I don't need to. I just would like to it's fun to do conan. I think I I've only done panel over there I haven't done. I haven't done one of those four and a half minute jobs, and in a few years quite a few years I tried get into the panel situation as much as possible. See I want to get how many years did it take before you got to do paddle, because I said last night to to somebody. I said I feel, like I'm cut more from the the Jim jefferies stand, hope marion? You know your names for were thrown in that? No, no, I'm just the origin. Is that I didn't use because I didn't want to say I didn't want. You think I was comparing myself you and it was particularly embarrassing cause I'm sitting across right, but I have a great respect for you you sound like you. Do there

I don't hear you do you go back here but, like I said, with related morty guys, like you end the guys that right to sink to the quick jokes were, don't you envy them now I do envy them gallant young. You guys all went right to panel. You guys never did like sets ragged sets. When did you to set I did for those fuckin sets on letterman over two decades right. I did We with conan conan cones, really where it started you I did stand upsets on. You need the improved. Stewart shall I did stand of sets on caroline come like I did a lot of those. Why did a lot of those thing yet, but I just haven't done proper. What's going to happen, it's like it's. It's such a bad representation in me. I, like, I, don't know, there's a couple: letterman sets it. I did. They were very spaced out, but they were great and they didn't fuck can make any difference at all and it wasn't until you know. I got one panel

not with him, and it was like a highlight in my life day. I saw that it was great yeah what you know anyway, just I with conan I he started in new york. I did the show pry the first or the second year in a bid to stand up spots when I was in town- and I you know, and then I said David franks my way I'm like can we do a panel spot and maybe do so a bit on the panel yeah, like I think one of my first times on panel, I did a stick like we had a plan was the might've been the John Lennon thing like where, where I I would, you know, we'd produce a bit where I could we'd go like I we'd throw to something you know, and then I just became a panel guess cause was just easier for me because it also is situational in the I was in town and they knew I had. I built a dynamic with him, so they had a fall someone could make it they'd be like maybe marin is got something because a lot of the times on the cones panels. Those bids are neither finished what they were funny enough.

I do not have a conversation where on that's the best way to do it. I think it is, but what's funny as in this happened to me later, is like even my mandarins is. I maybe to remind people your comic as when you do I'm panel and people though no you they still. Oh no. You like him most of the time when someone's doing panel there there people are like. Oh, that's the guy from the thing you just toss your shirt, but if you're a comic there is an argument to be made that you should establish yourself. As that, I I just it's it's that four and a half minutes is so hard, it's so hard, as in straight stand up I mean as you. Let me ask you about that, though, because with me with the joke. Things like I can write a joke and sometimes they happen naturally, and I'm very aware when something I've written has has a you know, is just what you're talking about guys. You do jokes, I mean it's my joke, but it is a joke and I can feel when they happen like you once I do them a few times and like night, that I guess that one's yeah yeah, there's this as opposed to something it's part of a longer conversation or exploratory.

Has room in it? Well, that's what happens to me is for some reason, the A short yokes ever right are horribly inappropriate for television. Ever I don't know why can't think of any one liner or short thing that isn't offensive in some way yo, so that never and then what happens is when I try to do one of these put one of these sets together. So J p went through sweeping sections of my special j P, the booker over their yeah yeah? We went through sweeping section. My specialty was like ok, maybe if you took this joke here and corrected it to that joke over here that that's why he was like. I gotta hear this here. If it use way to cherry pick. So that's what you gotta do. We need long form- and I do assure you here unless you want to unless you want to be ballsy. Do one bit either do that. I've done that before I did, that on the gotham.

To be sure I went out and I did one story for eight minutes: anita killed. He had everybody tommy, don't do it if you get stuck in it and they don't like it. You're fucked and I was like I'm just doing it and I did it and it's fuckin killed, and it was one of the best, tv sets. I've ever had my life. I did that on John Oliver was first time I'd committed to a twig eleven minutes bit right and it was right, but I knew there were jokes in it. That's when you start identify. What you do is that, like enough you're alive, form guy in this was I realize this recently that you have jokes within it. Sure everyone keeps going and there, sir, Would you know if you start to look at it as like? Well, that piece should get that job needs a little work or what I need something there. Whatever absolutely then there's no reason not to have confidence in it. If you got your beats right, absolutely yeah, I I think long form, it's funny, because correct

if I'm wrong, but I think guys, like us, good scoffed at at the joke book, comedy teaching book whatever text. Look. We approached a comedy where they say well, there should be a laugh. Every thirty seconds to you know, that's the kind of thing that will make a guy like you or me, go fuck. You to use used, but like wait, we have sort of like why. Why can't I do that? Well, that's what is going to get at is when you start to work in law in long form, really sure to dissect that you are doing that right, because then you go well. I can't just go on a tirade about murder for ten minutes. Ass to be laughed every minute. Really not just. our time here believe in it. If they don't want to hear that people don't want to hear they want to punch it up. Yeah, you want to punch up your murder, yet your motive, your murder, but it is famous murder, but why Like I don't know, I don't know that I had a lot of confidence. Is a joke greater cause? I didn't write like that. Like guys, you write jokes, I could tell you know he's like you know he's like working on.

A never ending, almost like physics equation of jokes, You know when he's sitting there doing nothing, he's writing joke. He just rights, jokes, that's how he that's what he does and their great. There's no one better than him riding yoga, but I dont sit there and do like I'd, never had the decision to be like the now gonna write. My jokes, I've written down a joke in my life. I write list of things, but but the thing is, I still envy the joke, but when you're a joke guy, if you're just doing jokes right that aren't long, jokes. You ve got a lock into that thing in that's, gotta, be satisfying to you re waking, oh, I can do no. They, like I created this little laugh package right. I will deliver it that laugh package worked. like one after another. You don't have to have a lot of personal investment other than delivering the joke right. That's gotta be satisfying to you, some guys, like, but then that I had a revelation in the last couple years. Would shambling christianity reveals a lot about himself in his little jokes and his time

is unlike anything else and there's a vulnerability to it and that's blew my mind recently and I there's a couple of jokes. I'm doing now where I think about channeling and think about you know the joke is it. It is enough. It is it's as much as any piece of poetry or a care. It yeah it's funny, because The last hour, this last hour, was all long. Former was like four subjects yet that now I find myself writing much shorter things near that have the point quickly, but it doesn't have to be this big global. Whatever you now politicized yeah applying to you know whatever tirade, but it's ok. Just me. entertaining yeah and you could still have yourself in that. You know what I mean, whether you're probably going to be more yourself in that that's the one I finally just sort of let go of feeling like I had to make a point, and just like talk about you know my thoughts about things non aggressively and funnier

Well, then, you can be naturally funny right. You know what I mean. Yeah yeah. Well, you know you've been in that position, I'm sure where you'll say something very honestly on stage and it gets a laugh and you're like should enable our time then its rider it never works again. What how do I get that moment back? What was it yes without her? it's the hardest thing now. Do you find aside from the four and a half minutes sets being tough? I find also sometimes even the twelve minutes early tough like, if now you're, a different position that I am because you ve made quite a name for yourself. Yeah, barely one do anything any more, but, like I find some time when I'm going on, like at the improper, wherever and only ten minutes, unlike I cannot way seven minutes on this bit about

Whenever I got to I got to the you know what if they don't like it, then I'm going to be digging myself out of my own hole for seven minutes. While I think that, eventually, you have to get to a point where you don't give a fuck about the twelve minutes, and the thing is that that The change for me was making the comedy store. My home club out bother with the improv on a bother like I don't give a fuck it the body in the business sees me and decides it on anything right, don't care anymore right so When did I wonder that happen now, I guess after No, I started to do you want I built my audience run whenever they are all very going and I'm going to these clubs really to use them to work out. I want to work out some gonna hear you might, in my network sure, like aids when you gotta look at those sets sure, as just you know, to try new jokes or to stay in shape by light tat? You had to do it, yes, only for the audience on twelve minutes set on a showcase night there.

yeah. No, I I see and I think that's the beauty of having an art, because I still I'm in the zone where I'm like. I need. I still need this place like I can't I can't totally go for forgot. What about what I'm saying? Is that eventually hope we find a comfort in the place where you know you? It's not like you. I guess they could tell me. can't work there anymore, you be it. Maybe they do me a favor, but I usually when you're comfortable in place and you're comfortable in yourself as a funny person. You know you can be funny, don't do nothing, this is my identity problem again, I'm comfortable in the place. I've gone off stage there and been beating myself up and the booker's like I want. That was great. What do you do at her lying I hope that you are destroying make you feel to, but like they ve been shut, that's my home in

far as I'm concerned in l, a that's my home, like the improv, is where I performed the most and and they're really great to me, and I have no reason whatsoever to ever think they wouldn't continue to support me. But I still every time I walk off stage go. Is that going to be the law? It's terrible, it's a self esteem thing, while it would but still putting it on other people like get you're saying liking of that's one. That's gonna get me less spots right. What I do is right. I know when some doesn't land. I know what I had to ruggles and I know when it's me and when it isn't right and wanted it- is me like, I just have to reckon with that, but I did literally train myself to say like dude, it's one set. So what yes sleep it off right as opposed to expend weeks right wondering what the fuck happened right or beaten the shit out of myself, yeah you're. Looking for a reason to beat the shit out of me, yeah yeah, I find other

seasons now don't have to yeah. I keep that in my personal life, I've gotten much better at not throwing a barrage of you know whatever at myself afterwards and I've gotten a lot better going. Stop it. It's one set. I it's it's! It's it's an evolutionary thing. You know why it is our you ve been doing it fifteen years. So not terribly. But not terribly short, long, John! You know I've, not what you believe. That's that's your dear you're in your veteran hypnotic, what what's wrong Given that I dunno I saw, I saw louis at a festival in scotland and he was like he goes how long you been because I was like I was like thinking about something else. Should I do this with my career and he goes. I was thinking about moving back to new york and I was like I dunno, maybe maybe, and he was like how long you been doing it. I go fifteen years, he goes it's nothing, you're, not it's your baby! Twenty years! That's the and that's like this.

I felt thing worries like you: ve only been doin it you're always or create. Ever that thing is you're, an infant until you you know, you're I can eat. Is your act without us having LEO? I guess I mean maybe career wise, but me, fifteen years doing something is not nothing now. It's not. I don't think he meant You didn't say condescendingly like you're, nothing, Nobody, nobody need trying to make you feel better, but by yeah I mean did the thing? Is you just gotta keep keep you yeah, fuck it It's like you know. Like you know, you ve been, you ve been your hammered out for fifteen years. Are you a baby, we re, not I mean it's like there are guys been doing a fifth here's what we're doing great right? Yes, yeah, you know what I've been doing a ten year cellar door. Yet it's just like. I think you get better yes

You know what I mean but like let's figure out why the fuck are we so hard ourselves? I don't know, I think that every I dont know that this is the answer, but my explanation for myself has always been that when you do this type of job, when you do this type of job, whether it's your self employed. Okay, now look out at this. When I say this type of job, I mean it

be that you have a contracting landscape girl casual, but when you say I'm putting it all on me, I'm betting on myself, nothing on anybody else and my hustlers. What's gonna put a roof over my head and feed a family one day you start out organically and with a slave mentality, the audacity that you would ever scoffed at a job or not take a job or not swallow wretched, wretched abuse, yeah. How dare you that's it's a slave mentality really, and I think, as you progressed through the business you get better and better shaking that off and saying no I've earned a certain place now for myself near, I am allowed to call certain shots and have certain costs to a stipulation

I know, but it's it's hard and it's a long journey and, as you know, I think any one. We all know that while we don't all know this, but I I know this- and I know you know this any one signal again event is not going to make or break your career where we are aware of that, but that doesn't mean that anyone ladys it's on twitter. Yes, exactly but that doesn't mean that anyone significant event can't make you feel for a couple days, like your back to square one, but the only thing is is for me like it. You know I I didn't make it as a comic first. What do you mean yeah. I was always around and do in tv instep. I didn't build a draw so like you by the time started this thing, I'm right here I was looking at your life of your head, be rooms and yeah. Maybe you know, I wasn't good, you know, and it was

until people got to know me in a bigger way that they would come out here, because the pike ass now the tv show or whatever, but it wasn't my comedy here we welcome. I devices. You know he's not dead so and tickets? Sure sure I think, that's. I think a lot of that issue the climate that we're living in right. Now, you know it's just it's a different world. It's it's a dick world, and I think you ve done some writing. I have some writing, and I gather that you have a podcast give to really here too ones about to launch with corporate aware myself called emotional hangs on pharaoh, which is about to grown men expire. Bring the vulnerability of an adult friendship, unlike letting guard down and not doing macho stuff out, and you know, as you have is he married he's married now? I have a kid now about to oh yeah wives. think they're doing like marcher, so that I add a little something

the dynamic that has absolutely yet spice things up a bit yanina good away. A lot of you dont, like I, don't know what I'm gonna do nowhere, exactly what we're talking about like I've said to him on the plaque. Yes, I'm a little jealous of your kid because you're like you're, going to have this kid and you're, and I'm not going to get to hang out with you as much you know, but but I also get it and I'm happy for you, but like I'd be lying, if I didn't say to you, twittered you're gonna hear something takes your friend away from you. I mean yeah and then over harm of gps. Cod will see you in Hell. That's already out now the biggest fiscal neighbour acceptable. Well, how was the writing experience for you, because that was something I just. I would never even I never even prepared myself at all to write for other people or hang out with people in that way, until I did my own, I found it out by its it's it's all. These things were incremental steps, In the greater gall show it was good for a while, I'm glad I did

I got a lot of experience out of it for about two two and a half year. Writing r p. I wrote for pete show for both seasons. I wrote for went out american summer, the netflix series, not the movie. Oh yeah. I wrote fur jeff in Somalia, which is you dont comedy central. I wrote for motion kasher pilot, which isn't it was picked up at the shows out yet and so on. in four things but motions you act. Your on breaking bad were bare concert. Hall saw yeah, so I'm back on them. I don't know the ass. All very. We got a new mexico shoot. We did right europe. Would you oh, you did over and albuquerque displaced culture. Paulet was great I'll go. you actually ended, their work was well. Let me tell you something: every single time I've gone, I've said: somebody hotel transport driver guy, the record your. Where can I get some mexican food every time they go, there's a place capture, partly right up there. Nobody is once have her said ye god

go to this plan. Really I dont know why are we talking to where they were they not from there? I was talking to the person was wearing a aaa teacher day. They were on bright yeah. Maybe there now I dont. sought, but, but I You know a splendid out. You gotta talent, near your plying another places. You are earning some money doing that yeah two directed my special, which was pretty cool well, the common you want to. Let me do that this one coming out now: yeah yeah yeah. What's it called you? Let me down there, you go yeah, that's a spot on the title You ever find that their perhaps in just something I wormwood myself that. If you have these unresolved emotional problems, And you, you feel righteous about them and your senses that everybody must feel these things. I found that not everybody necessarily does absolutely and also they they

Not you not necessarily entertain them. They might feel bad for you. That does happen when I bailed out of MIKE my tv set last night, the audi- and I went guys I'm not doing this. This isn't working right and they all went. Ah, no, no none of mine, Joe! That's like no, it's fine, everybody. Just please! I will have fun Let me just get out so in your mind, given that you're, you know you obviously seem to be having a bit. The career as a writer in doing that the things I can't can I surrender to that is still like now stand of the thing. Ah, I oh, I have learned. I ve been learning that lesson and it's been affecting the. Where approach stand up with you. I said, the last year you sing about like maybe these problem, maybe every one of your prizes and related and sometimes it's a long journey. up that hill, but, like I have been open to that there was a I here I wasn't at all, because I was young and naive and stupid.

An arrogant quite frankly, but the older you get. You know you going out, you don't have to open with depression. You don't I mean it's not the thing. One of the jokes I pitched too conan here and I was with this end in edinburgh and I moved into the middle and then started working when I moved into the middle of the act. But I pitched us to current thinking. This is an appropriate joke for late night tv, I gala, I am I'm thirty, nine years old, the greatest lessen the great realization. I then thirty nine years is that it's really stupid when people go. Oh man, if I only knew then what I know now right. If I knew then what I know now, I would have fucking killed myself. This hasn't been worth the effort at all in that one nah, hey how's, that do jp was like you. This is too. What do you do? This is right, but it does well in my act, but you gotta bury it he's like he can't walk out and tell the audience you're going to kill years right, but then am I

like no, but I'm joking. It's funny and then you'll learn the lesson. Maybe everybody doesn't think that's funny to just throw around ale. Maybe we're doing it too to get some weird fucking word, defying them to emotionally engage with us. mean because, like maybe that's the problem like I know, there's a problem I have is that, like you know it The relationships that, like I'm, not great, add at being loving as I might want to be in a lot of times. I dont trust when people like me, road or love me sure. So then I push him guess. Do you have me now? Still you still love me like you know, I think that you know that may be a funny joke, but it all gardeners a certain amount of sympathy- and that may be this guy could use a little help may be needs be taken care of some out Maybe you are looking to the audience as opposed to looking for love where it like a lot of guys. I just love to perform for people yes yeah now, but where a sort of liking out, I dare you

Your love me the yet now I agree with you. I think I think a lot of comics goin stage like thank you for letting me prefer, for you. I think they're guys guys like us. They got there aren't and in its more just like. Can you just fucking? Listen for a second just god damn it norman trouble, give me a minute it's hard to try and get some shit together in an easier ride. This out I mean I can't I can't imagine the I just got anxiety at not a ton, but I got a little bit of an anxiety, flutter or whatever you wanna call it when you just said the thing about. Do you still love me to the to the girl yeah, because I just that scares the shit. in a relationship. What that I get that, I that I would not be able to get more than six or eight months or a year in whatever, without constantly being like, am I going to fuck this up? Does she still write me,

she'd on me ass, you gonna, do you know what I mean like like in that in and keep talking about that if it does fuck it up. How have you been in this one you're in now a three and a half years? Oh Jesus! All right! That's that's very substantial. I know well, why do you say like that because like eat it because I'm like I, I feel like a lot of times- I'm spinning my wheels. You know, like I still not getting to that level. Where you know I'm open and everything's great, and you know what I mean so that's disappointment in yourself when you go. I know right right. Okay, yeah and- and it's like in in I'm getting to an age where I dunno. If I can fix it or if I want to fix it, because the effort to you know to fix it becomes a whole other thing sure, like I guess it's surrendering to to cynicism. Look at you know. I will say this

martin. This is not me trying to give you some sort of a pass and I might be really wrong yeah, but I might be right yeah, I think. Sometimes all it comes down to is to people being compatible. You know it's like if you were, if you witnessed a relationship where the couple literally fist, one another year and then you said: that's not healthy and you went over to them and you are like hey guys in they were like the fuck away. We, that is what we fuck. I don't even like: hey guys, I guess makes you happy like this fight each other. I don't know if that's what working for you and your growth be ninety five years old together, then hey god bless, I dont know I guess bite and there is the issue of like you know what if they could get past those obstacles that would make that seem like love to them as to where they wouldn't keep attracting young people. That would do that with I am and naked experience something different, but I'm saying what, if they didn't need to? No one needs to be at work.

well you don't nobody needs to write, but I'm saying sometimes the sub that that I was just talking yesterday. I know what you're saying life is short. Maybe this is what you got Well, it's like it's like the thing in Annie hall, where he walks up to the couple, and he goes. I don't understand. How do you do it? How are you a happy couple were? Were both superficial? We don't ask a lot of questions right if that works, for you right great if kanye and Kim kardashian works for them great enjoy yourselves. You know, I think we have a habit as people to always and I'm not saying there's no such thing as bad behavior or toxic behavior or abusive behavior, and that's not what I mean yeah, but I do think as people we always think it's almost an ego thing. We've we've got to like get to this deeper thing to to to show that so it's more of a

an exploration, and it's like. Sometimes it's just not that man. Sometimes it's just hey my wife and I don't talk, but we love each other and she's fine with that, and I'm fine with that. That's okay, our best friends. They talk all the time good for them yeah. We don't do that here. you know you. I guess it's ok, you're! Not if you're not sitting every day going like why I talk well, but the thing you're saying that, but it at my point is: if you're not talking and that sort of natural thing and your lady isn't going why're you fuckin talking, then there's no problem. If she's like mark, I don't care, I love you, you don't talk and we have it sometimes lighten the dynamic that you find yourself in four years. Is them going? Why aren't you talking? then that's that's what we're not the dynamic. I habitats. One thing: that's when its approach, that's what it's a problem and that's when it's either. I have to figure out how to change this or this person is right for me. Then you find the person that goes. I dont care that you don't talk. Never talk to me. I love you. You know

and they mean it and you go wrong with that. Huh you'll find something wrong with it or find something wrong with everything yeah. I have a problem with what I'm saying right now. So are you dating anyone probably not after this podcast back now, now

now nobody serious I'm trying to I'm I'm very actively trying to have less flinging situations in my life and and- and I really do want to substantially der date- somebody and have a substantial thing. So it's not to say that I'm above anything lesser than that, but I'm trying to do that. I would I'd like to find somebody. I can really spend some time with okay. Well, I I I I don't have time or I would. I would try, but I thank you, yeah yeah, so when's a special premiere february. Third, on comedy central at midnight second place february. Fifth, one a m is the reply. And in those are both uncensored and then the record an damn. You know that that you were, you can download the spell february. Seventh it'll start streaming, I think on the third. Ok, are you know about a numbers? Yeah? Don't I'll. Just as they are

Thank you for having me nice, seeing this was really really lovely. Thank you buy it. I mean I'm glad we did it, I'm really glad we did it. I'd like to just start coming over here and just kind of argentina touched me first address. You know now then she opened the garage german here by me. Sit over your head. I have coffee. Aren't I reckon I believe you I promise. I won't do that. Thanks mark all right. That's it that's me and Joe I'll, be Working in real time is sure at least the night before next week, when I'm back, I hope everyone's hanging in I think I will I'll play a little guitar to some hard rock, probably redundant.

but I'll. Do it.