It's the all right, let's do this, how are you what the fuckers, what the fuck buddies, what the buccaneers, what the fuck knicks, what the fucking delek, how's it going a mark mare- and this is my five gas wmd of welcome to it happy happy- they to you. It's been quite a rough ride for country home for the last few days while pain and chaos in horror. I, I don't hear here's a deal. I I'm recording this a bit early because I'm buying. As somebody somebody needs to take a break. Not me, I'm just going to plow ahead, but my business partner and producer Brenda mcdonald's will be on and and we want to get these in the can. So if I'm taking this be for the weekend,

If anything happens over the weekend. If there's a you know, if, if if what she didn t is consumed in flames, or if California falls off of the the map the ocean. Whatever happens. If I'm not talking about it, it's because a day had hadn't happened yet, and I can only Did none of that happens today? On the show I talked to heather, graham and now- and that was interesting. I e who love, heather, graham from drugstore. Cowboy right, she don't put. The On the bed, man don't put there on the bed. Boogie nights, six degrees of separation, that she's using the hangover. Recently tv shows I it was nice to talk to her. It was nice to see her. She has new movie out that she wrote and directed it's called half magic. She started it as well.

it'll be in theaters and Vo d and digital hd this friday february twenty third, I talked to her and then a few minutes I'm going to have Sebastian. modest scout go come out here. Who would you here like come on stage. I talked him sebastian. Yeah he's got a book come out. I love Sebastian, he's a comic. I see a massage the other night, the car the store worked hard got to get where he is in, is unique, a unique state, which being that sebastian unique funny. So I always like people come back. They stopped by. They got something I talk about something they want to plug. It had been on the show before their friend might have a right have a mind makes it up, and now it's good because I, like I said borg we're getting these in the can a little early, it's nice to nice, full shower I'm not leaning on that. I read an email or two. I can give you some updates about things.

how are the cats enjoying the new house? They are they're, fine, that buster kitten is a crazy mother. Fucker, he figured out how to remove the toilet paper roll from the toilet, paper, rod and run around the house with it. He have a basically papering. The house- and destroying it shredding it. So a he's learning new things he might be. He might be part monkey cause he always lacking is a thumb, but he seems to be able to figure shit out and move stuff around he's an odd cat. I've never had, cat that likes to be roughed up like this cat and I'm not being abusive, it's just when you pull a wild cat out of the wild and they they showed up on your deck on your porch. You well, how going to turn out of work and what they're going to be. I trapped the old cats. The old guys are ok, but they still on there, they're still skittish and they're weird you can't hold them is at my fall. Maybe it is my fault because I didn't I didn't try to do when they're younger cause they're out of their fucking minds, but

your was young enough in a little came nuts. I was able to hold them, but yet seem to me to be. It does not have proper people or me specifically for affection then, when he, when you do get him to take it, he likes to be scrapped almost like a dog like you know, scratch him hard on the stomach on the back on the head, and then he gets into it? It's almost like you have to show such intense, aggressive affection for him to just settle down and take it and that makes a cat a lot like me see. I I never believed that shit. I thought you got these cats and they were genetically wire to certain way, and I know you have an m and influence on them, but all my cats have element of me they the three. represent me a different, the different emotional places and physical reactions

so sebastian maniscalco is here in his new book. Stay hungry comes out on February. Twenty seventh, you can pre order it now. If you want to hear the full conversation I did with Sebastian back on episode, three or four. You can hear that on stitcher premium, and How this is me and Sebastian the hour I've made has been a long time since I talked to in here then six years ago I was here so like cause what's wild about. Is that you? if nothing go, he always had. I get on the show bad idea. That was just where I was the interview in comics. You get your guys from the store and stuff, but the reason I think I interviewed you is interesting was because I didn't really know you in the first time. Like a united, with the store occasionally, but then I saw you working with that hotel serve

like you, were waiting tables for season at the four seasons, because I had a meeting over there and I was like that's a dude just fucking working Zaza and this is like the shitty day, gig yeah like you know, you're one of the biggest comics in the country selling out everywhere, and you got a book about how to make it. So it's credible, drives ever say I can track it when I first saw what's going on and I saw your working waiting tables at a hotel and and now there is a book there's a book stay hungry, stay hungry, yeah, that's that's been my moniker the whole time. I've been out here, just stay hungry for more right, but it's just very interesting that you know you just he always kind of just. Did your own thing right, I mean it's khazar, member senior, like? I could tell like you who your influences were like you know where you were coming from, but yeah

it just got stronger and stronger the edge got more and then you weren't, like other people, you know it just like. I saw a lot of the evolution Andy and in any just caught on at. When did you start to see the uptake? I saw the uptake when I did a special call. What's wrong people and I put a little small part in their about being a tie in going to attain weddings yeah, really, cautious of whether to leave that in there or not, because I was I Didn'T- was going, get it in very specific to the italian community rye bar I notice that a lot of people connected with that and and I'm like okay people are gravitating towards my humor in a way where the relating to family here, not not necessarily it's broad observational type humor. I went to ross dress for less, so I went the whole day via there relating to my father, my upbringing, the culture and I'm like. Why don't

I just talk about me. upbringing and and how nuts my father for the next special yeah- and I I put a lot of family stuff in there, which are in the second special in the third special. Aren't you embarrassed. I started talking about my dad a little bit more and I notice that I was having more fun on stage doing that and it was very personal to me, you're, so it was real yeah personal. I got I sound like I was impersonal before I was just more like as you ever go to that that then yeah yeah. This was more like I, you know, I went home and my father arrived at the end and it started getting more like enjoyable to stew. Do stand up for me not that I was enjoying it before, but it was just like what else is my father do what what else could I go back and like talk about upbringing, even grandparents, mother, I write them writings different because you not just there. You know wherever you're right looking at people

walking by like DA shoes, are funny yeah. You know you can go back and you know you have an emotional connection to it. Yeah, it's still alive, yeah we still alive and there's the material to be mined there at least stopped for water god willing it doesn't stop for a while. How did you? How did he take it, because, usually, my stuff that I do about my dad has never I never really put them in a great light show. I hope relationship with your dad is better because my dad gets get that he gets mad at me. Sometimes, when I talk about my father is he loves being in them and the shell ryan but horse, but he's always concerned about me writing new material about me not resting on my excess you always have to keep pushing you yeah. There's always that voice in the back of my head going. You know, don't give these people new material, alcatel, comics,

is that right of doing the same stuff over and over- and I mean you know as well as I do that you know it's it's difficult to come up with those new bits, and I mean right now, like I just dumped a special less than a year ago, and I gotta go, do some dates and I'm like fuck yoga we've got right now, I'm sitting on about twenty five new minutes and you know I got about half hour somewhere that I didn't use in the special I I could find that. So, due to completely abandoned special material. I mean just happens. Naturally, it out, we are because right you I couldn't toward on it a little more. I think, and it was really a good one. I mean that last one to real fur on netflix my best work, but I've been doing a special every year, pretty much. I did one for apics and then one for netflix before that and I had one other one and a half hour went so like like incident on cds to or whatever, but they don't people I was in such a letter. Up and serious, but you know you got. But you had better odds here.

material that you did on old cds. If you want to do that, then you do with special schedule. Watch it's especially but no one listens to fuckin fucking cds vary but yeah. I just It's actually I get it. It's like after the special airs, I'm like my brain, just like kind of done with it. I even goes together anymore and I was working the fuck out of it. Why? How about you up in a few other bits from a special that the right I'd like thought in new delhi, If I have a special airs, I can't complete. Abandoned that material and that special I'll peppered in because a u or because you just don't have the new time you like you like doing m, are you I keep just in you know you waiting for the new shit. Wait for the new should develop the out I got up. I gotta be rather my older staff here and they don't mind. I don't know I think they're. Ok with you, I I don't want to go to a city,

I this is my biggest fear as a comedian. I don't want to do chicago right and then come back in a year. Yeah and people spend hard earned money. Golf days before yeah the you can't do it. You can't do it now, like yeah. You can't you know, because then If my fear too, you don't want to get off stage and they're like yeah. I heard that one, so the fuck. What about the other, yeah. That's really what you say so so, even you, even if you you're put in a few bits, you're going to run into the possibility of one douche bag going like boy. He couldn't It's a whole new hour and if you're like me, if you're like most comedians, that's all you're going to hear. That's all it's going to be in your head, no matter how good the show went, no matter how many people said, I love seeing that bit. I saw it on t v, but I like seeing personally like that mother fucker, the one guy one guy, the worst,

but you can't like it. I think. Back in the day you know they. It was in his. Everyone didn't see everything so immediately, and you know it indeed. The guy who tours on the same hour for decades is that they can exist anymore, but they did for years kinda, but all get tired of it. if you been doing this longer than yeah right, so were you able to get away with that say when you first started, you know going to ST louis and four thing. Let me know know who the fuck I was so I time. I thought people knew my shit like a guy get to it got to poorer point like what people am I talking about you it's like. I wasn't selling tickets so, if I go into a place, and I didn't have a you know, I didn't build my career properly. I would let you know. I never stayed on the road long enough, that ain't a people now go, do your team king or whatever, but it wasn't until or couple years into this, that started to pull people, but I owe

thought that everyone knew my shit and they just don't in, but now they do because they can yo. Netflix is fucking everywhere yeah. You know it's like it's gonna, be you go to a show like I'm gonna go. Do five shows in europe can be like. I would say that, probably Seventy five, eighty percent of every room that I too will have seen my last special. Why wouldn't have yeah, but don't you six people are in the room that maybe maybe never seen you before, like they're bringing people but that one guy the one guy is that why we're doing this for the one guy, the one that and it's us- and we can never quite do it guy you make up these people in your head right, the oh yeah all the time, all the time like, even when I'm on stage going man like, I didn't, get a good reaction on that, as everybody heard that you know like it's right right, see. That's the that is that the only problem with you in the old bits is that,

then that's what I'm up against too, because they probably probably not the reason, but just by nature, you're already thinking that going in yeah you this bit? Is you know? You know the bed was on tv, so there's party it's going to like you, The most you've probably seen this with what you're saying, that's the undertaking that you have. I think so so you can. I commit to an old bit like it's the first time, you're saying it because you're in your head thinking just know about it, a bit that's been on tv or at your. What do you can you I have done it that way and I have done it. The other way where, like I want to do it and the reaction is a lot better. When I say fuck it, I'm just gonna go horse and do it rather than that at it myself, for the just a mental disappoint yeah. This is what I have learned in comedy. Working out with nineteen years

Last year I wore myself down at a bone. Oh yeah. I said this year. You know what it's about balance, it's about, enjoying I for little bit more europe rather than come here. on pack get back out. There keep the grind go and I want to live life will write more we got kidnapped and I got a kid now and that kind of changes a lot of things yeah. I want to participate in in the upbringing of the child rather than they timed out for you. It seemed like the arc of your popularity enables you to not make yourself so fucking crazy Yeah yeah. I mean the that's the point now where I could. You know like let's take the summer off and I got three weddings to go to. I don't want my wife going to these weddings anymore. Like I passed away, he had all like she's got to show up along, so I want to go with her to these yeah yeah and, as as you do that, to you mind material out of those life experience, of course, so why how how they take you to write the book three years

I started writing the book with a writer, yeah who's, helping me out and then and the guy who he that you knew they set you up with a guy that I interviewed and and and and wow that the publisher said we got a guy yeah. You go out and interview these writers, your tv deal yeah yeah, and then we didn't really get along creatively. No bad blood was just one of the things that it came to a wall, and then I had to go find another writer. So that's why I kind of took a while and and listen man when I first started writing this book. I didn't, I didn't think I have a book in a letter. I say in the book that you know I'm not a politician or I am not a sports figured nobody. I didn't get beaten as a kid didn't come through this. You know, there's no, sir. I didn't think I had a story via that towel right, but I did, two hundred and twenty years of being in this and having these six periods happen to me. I have formulated a nice little bull kind of about the last twenty years of my life.

and I'm proud of it. It's just everything from the jobs I had to take the dew doing in ozone satellite dishes, in the ghetto at the crunch, shine martin luther king boulevard that he or after the forces- and that was during so four seasons, ninety nine to two thousand and five, and then I had to get a job. between there, because I I hated wait, not people who ask us get sick of it, so I started working at a key ass. sullen dish, network satellite dishes and in a mall in an urban mall, And- and I wanted to that- you put it down the choice like it was, but obviously I do white guy here it is the flexibility okay, this allowed flexibility yeah and when who here that, if you sell a satellite dish here right now, you get a hundred bucks per did you not thick and how hard is it to sell a tv?

subscription. Six hundred a day he's a week, three grand that's a hundred and eighty granted the eu in I'm in and I was a man I wasn't sullen at at all- to do. Is there was a tv and the key ass ass? I used to record programmes that might attract people Mikey ask in the in the urban moment urban mall here. So I recorded this Michael Jackson, motown special and I played that on a loop. So I had about eighty five people dance in doing the moon walk around my key idea, but nobody by

damn. So it was like a dance party in the middle of a mall, so I did that for six to eight months and I went into debt a ten thousand dollars I owed- and I was on the phone with my father and mother at one point detected that there was some problems inherent to hear right away. Don't fade away, yeah yeah hi guys. What is it money yeah, and my dad jumped on the phone, and what's the promise of that, and I that dumb and then ten grand in debt- and He bailed me out. He paid my credit card bill yeah and I paid him back every every cent I would him and I'll go. How much do I owe you and you just here like person. They re the only seven thousand eight hundred met. He added to this sent

was your vague on a lot of the low regular just a straight loan, but he I paid them back and I'm glad that I paid them back, because it taught me that you know you don't not in in life. You can escape out of it and also it's it's it's nice to be able to to pay your parents because Mikey usually like, if you really wanted to you, could probably get off right. Something about you? I just take it well, you get my my my mom for me some money. When I was going through a divorce, she wouldn't take it back. She she you're going to get it anyway your my dad's like you need to pay me back. It might not get it sd? Yet I need it right. I dunno mine's going to hold up right yet in what other stories you've gotten there like just stuff about chicks, gigs and all that kind of thing. You know like what I had to do. There's a chapter about me work monitoring these jobs, even even before I came out here, I was kept captain captain morgan,

you ve, not all I used to go to bars, dress snap happen more hours. Mazes me to hear these days a certain type of personality. You will never do it. I don't everything to do it like it. like no matter how bad it got yeah. I don't know if I'd think to do it, like you know, like big j o christian, he was like a ghetto elmo like he was to keep us as an elmo, but it was it not real elmo. Like I mean I just steer guys, I It's some party. I thought it was going to be a performance good money, yeah and again flag a flexibility, and they they didn't, really know who you were couldn't see you wearing the moustache mustache hat. I had a parrot on my shoulder: a real pair of fake hook,

and I stood go in to these bars, and these were kind of seedy bars where back in chicago, for I came out here in when these, like our jobs, work that high bake, hamleys and ham, how ya doin dawn of temp work. I graduated college at twenty four with a bachelor of science degree in corporate communications, and I ended up work in a united airlines, employs credit union as a temporary employ because I I I didn't get a job. I call it right. I was the guy, went to the the workfare in a like a wedding suit. You know a sex silver wedding suit, walking around now. Look like I was collecting money level rather than handing out resumes right, so nobody called then I ended up coming home and working at night at a place called the living room and schomberg waiting tables or humber. Rising around here right. There are those who we will find I place it was a place to be in chicago in nineteen. Ninety four, ninety five. Ninety six and I worked

I open the restaurant and then during the day I would work at the employees credit union. In the back in the data entry department of united of united airlines employees from Iraq, I gotta get an outfit. I gotta, I gotta, I gotta be captain morgan. We're gonna need a shift. I gotta get out of here on a pirate ship wow mail. Yes, he didn't come out here to your mid twenties to twenty four. I was twenty four. I was hit the wall with captain morgan after captain morgan. I say I got. I gotta leave early leave town yeah, so nineteen ninety eight, I came out here and I moved to the St James apartments on hollywood and fuller right down the street from runyon canyon, yeah yeah, and I came out here with ten grand in my pocket, and I decided that I was going to wait and get a really nice waiting tables. I didn't want to work at mel's. Diner didn't want to work at any of those kind of yeah. You know whatever you come home with the

Fifty three hours I wanted to wear dirty apron, dirty apron yeah. So it took me six seven weeks to get a job out here in Atlanta I kind of ran out of money. I actually had some grand scheme that I was going to go to las vegas because I still had the united islands benefits Xia. So I would take a little john. To las vegas- see if I could gamble and make some money playing, blackjack open. The hope were you good at it. Would you have an angle nanos iron, when it was just like? Let's try to make some some bread, quick money in vegas, yeah, always good great player, great plan, the Morrigan vegas you're, seeing to it that is kind of how my mind worry as night or like dishes and move the same six hundred a day. Six hundred a date, satellite dishes, our party. While I'm I'm happy for you success and the book sounds fun book is

stay hungry comes out the february twenty seven fear and also an audio books. I wanted to put my voice no yards, that sure. Why not you ever done that yeah he can mean. Punch, it up what your experience one is long I went in there and I I can't read to read out loud and two hundred and fifty six pages and there on you too. It's like you, forgot the bigger, I can do the distributing yeah yeah. That guy was he said, could instead of wood. I was putting in words that weren't even on the pay right griffin a little bit yeah and it was it was. It was one of the hardest things I've done yet because the problem with it is by the end. You know your tone is a little cranky like you start off funny and then, by the end of the book, your guy gotta get the fuck outta. Here. I've been here for five fucking hours. Sorry, if it's not chipper anymore, I dunno man, you got through it. I got through it

in a tour on the book. The book were in the middle of a tour right now, the summer off, and then we're going to start back up in the fall. Take a summer off to fund things that your family, three weddings to go to, one in Sicily really are going to have you been there yeah. I went with my father actually six years ago, as he cecilia yeah. He was born in chef, although he came here when he was fifteen years old, so real italy, oh yeah. So ever since we went he's back use been back every year since us. If viewed, didn't, pay the money back, we want You ve been problems. yeah good man will have fun. Thank you, all right, so that book is called stay hungry. I like sebastian good guy funny, guy worked hard and add the book is. Is him it's him a term in a book you now that goes, ass. The new garage is a garage, but it can be more than a garage. It's going to be a place where

My mother needs to live there. She can live there, so that'll be interesting. You know like just a mom, you got it. Yes, it outside the albert brooks here mom. Could you could you I get out of your your house and let me the owner view, our brooks now to get you have aids. Can it's a garage, but it is the it's a nicer garage is what I'm implying is. That's all I'm saying, and I think that my mom could sit in on the conversation I have with our brooks. If that ever happen, heather, graham heather, graham here and I I was excited to talk to her I watched her new movie that she wrote directed and starred in half magic. I've watched many of the movie she's been in it was, it was nice, were to come by- and this is me talking to her alright- this is me talking to her. Graham right now,

I don't think I've ever gonna catch january of yo, yo, John radio, you guys like serious radio surf now I can very well deal. There will realise that there will be no deal is like a cool. You haven't gone to somebody's house to do media, but I think that makes people probably more relaxed rate because you're not like in a. I think I something since you know you you're, surrounded by all this stuff and yet but to be happy. I think, to relax the data it doesnt seem real. It doesn't seem like I'm after seem real I feel like that's the it seems very real right. Okay, but right, but after a point you're like are we recording? This is his recordings yeah? Okay, I am recording answer: will you have an action figure? That was, It's actually I would. This is a piece of art. It's the only one that exists, some guy, that made a mark marin action figures. He thought I'd, I needed one,

okay, yeah, there's a. Why do you deserve more that? I appreciate that. I actually saw you. I think I did a comedy where we are because I wanted to see Chris d'elia and you were performing. Was there you saw me yeah. Of course, I meet you famous kind of also watched your show. You have every episode of glow, Finally, I was really fine. Ok, because I never know people know me if there's familiarity, because I know you listen to your pot, some of your podcast just to get ready, jenkins yeah. It was just time well. So what am I my best? Friends love it? They were actually like. You should try to get on his podcast because he has the best podcast listening to it really. Actually, I thought you'd be more, have more jokes but you're just really interested in people, like writing them question, I know it's like the joke thing like that, we're soon afterwards, I learn so much about richer jenkins from your past about it, like you really get out, and if I am kind like that with people too, like asking people question right, we

like a kind of person, it's in your interview, you have you really want to do it, like, I think, sometimes asking people questions is a good way to turkey them from do far too asking you questions right, yeah, right and just currently with. But what about you search on early and have you genuinely interested, I figure genuinely interested? I am. I think I am to go and ask a lot of questions really do Is that generally, what you do like when you like, like like when you work with directors yeah? What are you like? The kind of person like what do you want? Well, usually, I kind of get into like psychologically analyzing the character like. Why do you think the characters doing this, and what do you think the motivation? So I get into the questions about the psychology of the writer not as much like directors, but I can ask people like if I just met you I'd. Probably just ask you a lot of questions. Okay, what made you get become a comedian. Well, I think like when I was a kid I always wanted to like. I always liked comedians. They always seem to make sense of the world somehow, because if a good comic like it kind of does,

arms are your fears, re write. It makes sense of things tat complicated. So when I was a little kid watching comics I gotta be like that. That's yeah that guy knows what's happening. He's got a handle on it, yeah yeah. It was more about having a handle on reality. Yeah, like they weren't, just like following all the time, it's kind of spiritual, too cause. If you can have a sense of humor about life, then you sort of like you're, not in like total fear. Hopelessness, dress, yes yeah! I guess it is that or I guess that's what spirituality supposed to do. Give you a little hope yeah. I think it feels just like you can detach and look at it with, like. Oh my god, this is all kind of funny. Now This is an area fact right right, yet you for it doesn't always hold me, but you could do it, doesn't always hall yeah, that's it you can do for a while. But then one day be, I doubt god it's not working

the new movie that your movie, it has a spiritual bent. Yes, yes, well, I wanted she will come about what we're talking about. I guess and things that really depress me and I'm like. How can I find humour in this and is all kind of based on true story. It is because I don't like I didn't know that the candle thing was real. My girlfriend said that of their people, that the candle thing is real. Yes, well, it started. There's a store in new york called the enchantments. Have you been? enchantment item I feel, like I mean how long has it been more girly like yeah sure lots of guys aren't going there, but you know you can buy candles and you can wish for love or you wish, for you know great job, or so I had some girlfriends yeah we get together. We wasn't all only candles, we just talk about. What do we want and if it was these women and also mobi movie was it's yeah yeah gave me nothing but trouble that moby. I know he's so generous. He gave us a lot of music for the movie

if you're full on you're in this shit? Well, I do a lot of yoga. I meditate I do transcendental meditation. Tm will, like you know how you look to comedy too I feel your pain. I look to like new age thing. It's also my job, the way I think about things yeah that is my my craft, my chosen craft, but I wonder if I really look at it to heal my pain. Oh really, I yeah, I tend to look more towards food. Okay. If it works. I definitely have done that, but it. But it's not good. It's not spiritual. You know like I, I tend to avoid the spiritual by we're engaging in the things outside of me to try to hear some people laugh and you're being honest. Well, that's good! I'm glad people get a lot of alcohol yeah, but in terms of personal, spiritual, psychic, health, you don't have good psychic hell, that's what you're not great that you need to assume more sound. Bats are not need any sound back over humanity. I don't talk

Well, people told me to tell me about tm, though so you're in you bought your mantra and everything well and yeah that is kind of weird about tn. They do make you pay for it. Yes, but I mean I learned it like when I worked with David lynch on twin peaks on the bridge, How did you meet David when originally regionally yale addition for commercial? He was doing for like calvin klein obsession really yeah and commercials. I guess I did I mean making. I guess he was making money and then I guess beneath your del toro's in my commercial before he ever started, doing like acting allies at all so yeah. So I met David lynch and then he put me and twin peaks in ray regional. I became friends with moby that far back no cause. He was fan. So when I read it all like, I love to impede since then introduced himself right in this or that Pretty recently know that was like ten years ago, maybe So a regional moby, the air like a first flush moby, the record moby yeah, now maybe no cause. I was maybe like fifteen years I was rhonda hands flying by yeah. Really is so David wench hip to you too,

I just was like he told me- to go to meditate- how old were you than I was wondering when he saw me like twenty, we all or whitey whitey suggested to you that, while I was unhappy because I think that the hard age when you're like just moving out of the house from your parents, who am I I might oppressed- and I don't really know how to cook so- to cease to eat a lot of candy bars and I'd be like of how only dinner it's all just by a candy bars, which kind of her the races waggery here who has the best ones will die now reaches the bass like real job. You keno, you will retain it all much works yet crunch. I like redo, karma those of my three. I no occasion We all do Eminem. I used to eat so unhappy that I would like eat. Muffin cyber like oh brand muffins are healthy. Like that's cake round me, I still comes. I still that I spent my hostile. I would eat muffins, pasta and candy bars, but those recant, those are the best ones. In my book. twix kitkat and the reese's

it helped me not eat so badly, and then there was a frozen yogurt place that that was a free, spirituality, spiritual things but yeah, I would just be like how can I gorge on sugar, get a high and then I get a low and then I'm just like thinking about tomorrow? What what can I buy tomorrow? Stuck up ice cream? Nice cream know I did used to eat. Pints of you know, Rita. Peanut butter, peanut butter, cookie dough or cookie dough, cookie, dough or reese's peanut butter for the peanut butter cup is the best. The Ben and jerry's peanut butter is disgusting. You can really only do that when you're, like eighteen nineteen twenty. I did it into my forties, TG pints. I was still so. How do you stay done with it now? Okay, now, okay, I'm thoroughly hanging on now, it's egg makes you feel tear this get biscuit yesterday and I won't kill myself I now well that's good ray or olive oil cake. That sounds good. That sounds kind. I may have a fancy yeah so so David, who sees this kid gorging

basically believe whenever threw up idling. I was more like. Let me start myself in any candy bars. I wish I could be wrong of us to gross for me. I just watch the Jane fonda documentary and she talks about being bulimic, which is so interesting. Growing up was gross to you. Yeah. We rowing up note throwing growing up was too gross, so I wouldn't go to the believe me it back, but I would go to like ok, I won't eat a regular dinner and I'll just eat a candy bars right right, yeah yeah. They waited all data. You like a brand muffin brim of in the morning a candy bars or, like I gotta, get frozen yogurt I get frozen yogurt for like lunch and frozen yogurt for deter sure ice cream is not iceberg right in your mind, not I remember I was arranged raise. That was like everything to be no non fat, but it was full of sugar, tasty, doit and it using the euro its non financial aid. As much as I want you to know why I feel so crazy right now, like so much good uploaded here, Sir David I went goes we gotta get you got, level, you off

I just was like intrigued because I in a group up in suburbia there weren't a lot of ground types around in a garage. Oh here see now. Cool, but when I was there I feel like miracle I dont know I feel, like some people live out their income. it's like I dunno, I mean it's nicer as a movie theater, just because we like you and you kinda, know people who live out there, it's pretty pretty, but it's like suburbia. There wasn't a lot of cultural there, weren't cultural things going on when you were born here now in the in my data is an f b I and he was transferred around a lot he's from philadelphia. My mom's from new jersey that I was born around yeah he's still alive. Have you talked to them about? What's going on now not a lot now, oh really, and you haven't called them or like what is up. What do you think about this? The f b I there going down. They he's not real. I mean he's more conservative, cuz, they're, quite religious. You know still at mean. That agency was headed integrity to and taken a lot of hits, but by so

I I you know you don't have to talk to them. I was born in wisconsin, then I lived outside of washington dc in virginia, and then I moved to l a when I was nine. That was when he was at the home office. Yeah I live yeah, the bureau yeah and then he was out in the field and then he was in a federal building on well, sir oh yeah, yeah fbi agent, your whole life, retired, from the fbi. He got his pension from the fbi, yeah those it deplores the points where the euro likely he dealing. Just sounded cool, but little had a normal did. You just would leave in the more income home at night and he had a gun and a bullet proof asked for but anyways that is cool. I get to impress people, but it's like it didn't I didn't. He didn't really talk about what he was doing. Just seemed like. Oh, he goes to work in the morning. Comes up at night. There was garment is both repressed and you imagine you would have heard if something went down with either of those things yeah yeah yeah. I know we worked on terrorism for awhile yeah a while

You ve never like sat down her comments are not allowed to really talk about. I think once when he was retired, I think, as it will give any story, they will once we intercepted this shipment of on these weapons that would explode and people's bodies like they were hit. You know I love, so these eggs was really glad that we caught that and those from you know, telling that to the other, terrorists are and what your mom do in the in the childhood, where my mom was, and she was a teacher before she got married and then she was a housewife and she was writing children's books and poetry- and like as I wash up. Yes, that's great yeah, so you could hold up your mom's children's book. Yeah! I don't believe it any better, ever younger sister, how How much is a year and a half younger, oh yeah, she's in show business, yes, how she she's an actress, and I think she got recently into like producing and stuff. Oh yeah. Are you getting into directing? I guess yeah! Writing! Yes, yes, yes,

Why would why? Why would both you go into this miserable fucking business cause? I guess we moved to l a you know: you're, like the proximity to l, a just draws you in it does. I guess if I was an awkward nerds, I'm like how can I distinguish myself and like dirty yeah? I was quite nice. and I wasn't really thought of as attractive so then This was like when I was in high school and, like I was kind of tomboyish I got one on and like and be like: okay you're auditioning for, like the pretty cheerleader and like I couldn't get on the cheerleading squad and and asking me out really I was like this is fun rise? there's all this other world where people think I'm like this cool pretty person and that's where it started. That's how it's done, What you say you grow up in a gourd hills. How do you decide? How do you make? Have you gone an ado, show business and figure out how to get in it or basically, ok. You want

back to when it started. I think I used to like to make up fantasy games in my head and play it with the kids in the neighborhood. Maybe you guys are vampires and I'm this character and you're that and let's all do this game and then I think I want to school and I got really awkward and nerdy iced addition for the plays, and that was like my area of like begetting attention. I really so you were, like you know, full on drama geek kay lived over there in the drum department. So when I'm or I started to get the lead in the play soon musicals yeah, but I was a terrible singer, but somehow I saw had enough. was high school showbiz personality that I got away with like having a not a very good singing voice. Like I start in damn yankees, I was lola in damn yankees when I was like fourteen yeah and that's where it started. I mean that was like my answer, but you are you're one of those kids who was

drawn or nerdy or or you're, not completely socially awkward, and you came to light in the islands- are smart. I was in this in advance placement classes severe in that, then you kind of just travel around with that group of advanced place me in advance, matthew and events english or well. You know so then remember those people in your group yeah. I do to see if you are just very smart kids who you have yo. There seems to be here with you. Differently by the rest of the school yeah. I know you're not as cool as like a jock or cheerleader or the pop. You know it doesn't end well for them, yeah, then it's I again you I get. The nerves are really the cool who have you gonna reunions? Now I have it, but I haven't one friend still from high school she's actually coming to our premier. Oh yeah, really good friends here of its own Okay, so, but still, how do you cross the bridge? How what what you do go college I what do you see lay for a few years, but I She started working when I was in highschool. I was in license to drive with corey haim and corey feldman to do pork. I know

in all. These stories that have come out have is dead or right. He has he kind of went. drugs is that what happened? He? I know that he was. I mean I guess at the time I was working with them. They got, they were doing drugs, but I was like very naive. Didn't really you know, but you know: they've talked about it and they were drugs and it creamed idea but but much weight remembering my later and then you know, Corey fell. Men has come out with her pet of I'll ring. I know it's so disturbing, like I was working with them during that time and I had no idea that was happening. It's so disturbing. Do you think you known, but I guess that's what a lot of people are saying about a lot of things. You know I mean they just see. My cooler like I'm like I'm from the suburban high school they ve been in. Unlike stand by me and lucas, and I'm like they seem like so sophisticated and I get maybe I kind of knew they were doing drugs and like corey creams dating like Lala zappa, and I just felt like I was like this. as zappa yeah I feel like. I was like this awkward like normal person looking at these stars, so I didn't think like. Oh something terrible is going on for them. I thought. Oh, these amaze

the distance in in re in this. I wasn't in the circle I was like. I am a normal person I acting with movie stars and I didn't think like. Oh wow, there are these people that are leading these. You know I bought think they were both emancipated from their parents new that there's for their mean. That means that, like you need a guardian onset, and it also means that I think you know your parents, I don't know if it's that their incapable well or that it's that you don't want to have to have a guardian, so they they signed the thing you are emancipated frayed, you're, fried yeah, you don't go to the school. That's interesting, though, because get that feeling glow. I'm like looking scenes going, working with a real rail being impressed by your throat. You are right to gather we. We got a good thing as fine, it's great to see if she was so many women like no kin water

but I have never been around a million. I e on the back rinki grain sexes. You re you get all these women like I've got to be the only man without these women or you know, I tried. I just you know we just be one of one of the girls are too so you got so. But how do you get an agent instead, when you in high school how's that happen your parents, we gotta be in on it, and I think you have to have a certain degree of like ambitious like unhappiness where europe is like you feel like. I need you, you know to do this and then you dry

get your driver's license and my mom was supportive. You know, and I and I drove into the city to go on auditions, but you have to go on a lot of auditions how'd. You find the auditions that you have somebody that signs. You are what I think I got like. Well, I got an agent and then I got I went to acting classes and I think, through my acting classes, I got maybe an agent when you're very young, it's a little bit easier to get an agent like as you get older, it's harder because there's more competition, but when you're just like on fifteen, you know it's a little bit easier to just be like okay, you have no experience, will try sending you out a few times. I think I got a commercial agent. And then I went to acting classes and you know try Everyone like. Oh, you ask your acting teacher communities, meteor agent, blah blah blah, and I think I got my first agent because my acting teacher I could tell she didn't really want to help me, but I was like whoa I found this or agency, just like oh they're, not good I'll I'll I'll, introduce you to mine. So she at the age of that help me get the additions that help me get that movie with corey haim gray thumb,

and and that what kind of classes were they were they do how many teachers have you worked within your wife. I went to a lot like, and this was just like. I guess I was sixteen or seventeen I used to drive into the city and take like one night as in hollywood, I'm just so excited. Can I felt like I was from like suburbia. You were these already people. I was felt like a bit of a weirdo oddballs and like all these people I feel like I can relate to them or a high now yeah so by do member like, as I was wonder like where their teachers it made. Big impact or that you know do you know where you learned most of what you know a lot of different teachers. The person I went to the most is name's harry master. George, and I remember I was really impressed cause when I started going to his class like ray liotta was in it. I think, like Melanie griffith- and you were like what seventeen I was like yeah like maybe I was twenty something yeah cause. I think that was a different class I went to when I was like seventeen,

But so I started going to school. I went to his class for a long time and he was just really supportive cause. Some acting teachers can be a little lake mean they want to break you down or make you cry yeah I mean I wanted different like I went to meisner classes, I tried a different law, but then I start going to Harry. He just says: stina seen steady, yeah, yeah and he dislike it. If you do the scene and then he just tells you what you did or what is basically like use your imagination and just pretender this person and just sit for in your home for eight hours a day. Picturing your life and picturing every moment and think of like every thought. That's coming into your head don't practice the lions out loud and don't do in front of a mirror, but just become this person by your imagination. So that was that's the trick and basically there are just like your entire day like sensitive going to work you to sit in your house to speak, yeah yeah and it worked for you. I mean it

did. You know I mean that's the main thing I even sometimes all cultural try to make things some out of my life. I killed me like a cable, is characters feeling this feeling. I felt this feeling in this moment, but that's not really what he teaches, but occasionally I will do that and so the radically, if you can imagine it thoroughly enough, you don't need to do that. That's his belief, but other p, through a new decried yarn and like right, you're like a cable. This thing reminds me of this situation, so I'll turn of like substituted and then try, but his theory is like it should be purest, just thinking of a story and if you were really this person industry play. The weird thing is: is that like I've learned cuz, I'm fairly new to acting like you know, in the interprofessional ways that you know that's only going to enrich a lot of times. That's going to make the experience for you more deep and interesting, but for when watching it. However, you cry your generally. There are now everyone has a different way so near a teacher. Just has a different way, but that was his way and win. So you did, you did licence to drive yeah and then you did but then

right, presided, drugstore cowboy that wasn't really soon ardor right yeah. That's when I really mad like gus fancy, and, unlike what was the casting for that life? I mean, like Dylan James, a groan all year round, and yet it oh how to get addition. I went an audition for it. I think I d cry on it. I remembered the whole daylight just putting myself in this crazy It wouldn't go in as it had on the bed thing. Yeah you put the hat on the bed I know I know I died in air and I got a rat put in a body back up the term blue yeah, indeed right, yeah, and that was before gus van sant ever had done. That was like his first big movie. He did a smaller group yeah. That was, I suddenly like. Oh, my god like this, is all these cool already people and that dylan chambers, yes, how's, that it was cool. I was like eighteen, so I'm not like you know who he was really. I think I started reading his books cause. I was working with him, but I hadn't, like I had like no drug taking history. At that point he seemed like just as weirdo grandpa I mean

they just seem like these weird. I remember like james grossing like you should read Charles Bukowski and John Fontaine, I'm like oh there's all these interesting people. I can read they're like listen to Tom waits and I'm like wow. No one at my high school was ever into all this cool and, like I felt so calm like listening to Tom waits like reading John fanta and Charles Bukowski. I'm like I've really made call circle of like people As those three are a people you could have seen any of them said so now, you're you're moving right, your drugstore cowboy things are happening. Yeah things are happening. I started to feel like. Oh my god, you know. Maybe I'm going to like breakout, and I like met all these interesting people, but you know it's hard being an actor like I kept working, but it wasn't like that. I suddenly like got every job I ever wanted. We did some

movies. You like, I don't remember that were probably movies that were in his big as they could yeah yeah, like you, did work with lawrence cast in the lower your jack language. Lange's like I am, and I support it myself as an actor which, unlike so grateful for what I love you to death. I couldn't remember that movie will get out of my heart was basically about how Kevin Klein was cheating on his wife was played by Tracy ol man right and basically I was like one of the girls who is cheating on with. Did you meet? I died, so many people have died. it was so nice yeah, but getting back to David and she's got meditating. U meditating certain m duly tv show, you do the movie and you're like twenty twenty one. I guess so twenty yeah, maybe yeah, but then you do like before, where how far away some. Well, then I occasionally or their millions of things, and then it was a year later that I was in swingers and then I was in buggy nights Did that two girls and a guy we I did that those actually after buggy nice.

As it came out. I worked with a lot of sexual harassers that tobacco manage to hit a lot of those people on that list, yeah to back directed two girls and a guy which was actually he did not sexually ask me, even though I could see that he I'm sure did a section, a lot of people, but I met one, those guys usually not just a rationale. You read it again. He was a predator. Now he was like you would like. Ok, our whole shoot near. We only have two weeks we shot at home would be like two weeks or two and a half weeks go away at lunch and he would come back late like that's, no one we do that in a movie that only had two and a half weeks we'd be like. Where is he and they'd be like? I think, he's gambling or I dunno, or maybe he was trying to have sex with someone like you, our late we're sitting there, the robber danny junior, like where did the director go out their point? He had just come out of his leg drug phase, so he was getting drug tested day he had somebody wedding and andrea. Now, if he wasn't jellia that came later, I think I'm not

I know they are you back on a dry watch, how you ok yeah, so so that was odd. Now show business like outside a toe back like before that who will you worked with gus a few times you work at some women direct, who are the other predators, so many on Israel had worked with him, but I did it is son when I was nineteen eighteen or data centre on a timer. Drugstore cowboy was remark, Adam from the beastie boys. Yes, and he basic, after I dated Adam and we broke up, I edition for one of his plays and addition. I was writing down it, an elevator like. Let me walk you out, and so he gets elevator and then he just pushes me against. Oliver sticks his tongue down my throat. I feel like he might have said something about like what are we going to do about, and I was just like whoa, talking about, and then I just got out of the elevator, and I just never talked to him again and then I heard him saying later, like heather so ungrateful, I don't really. yeah, I don't know cuz. I think he helped me.

with Adam, like he recommended me to his acting class in new york that I went to with this before, like boogie nights like after drugstore cowboy. But then a lot of women recently came out about that a lot and then horror with the thing that was really disturbing. Was that, like a lot of women came out in the nineties and and and they weren't taken seriously and they were like? Oh these women are high strung or you know, and they didn't do anything about it, and so twenty years later, more came out or some of the same woman came out again plus more women and they finally took it seriously. Whole thing on emperors us into about. Why are people taking the seriously now when they didn't, because it is the jigsaw- up the cigs up so good as a woman were just like reading. This news were like he asked. This is water in a desert like so fun, to read these stories and you also have the weinstein encounter. What do you look back at it? Thinking that it was career shifting I mean what happened exactly well, I don't know like I mean he just won.

Person. I don't know any stories like that, one very powerful Basically yeah, I went into his office and he was like how these scripts on a table and he was like we. I want to work with you, you're just you're, pretty in your funny That's a rare combination. So choose one of these scripts any script and we'll just do it together. I was like whoa shit you know, and then he was like. You know my wife and I have an arrangement and I'm out of town I can just have sex with whoever I want any hugs me right and the stories afterwards, like recently, I'm like I'm so glad I got out of that office quick, and I was like I just pretended like- I don't know how to deal with this, and so I just laughed and then I is there any way to turn this back into like a working situation. Do you know what I mean? I kind of knew what he was inferring by that. Why went to his office as her, so I asked some people and they said just don't be alone with him I found this other rights so that this was when in your crew like was whistling two thousand and I'm just gonna say approximately two thousand and three so I had already ban on people already knew. That thirty is like. I wasn't like

been around. You know yeah, and you know he I think, he's does obviously do this to a lot of young women, but I think he's doing this to a lot of women in general. Not analog and people knew enough to the women knew enough to tell you don't don't be alone with him, and you know I had actually heard the rose mcgowan story, but I never heard that he raped her. I only heard that he attacked her and that she I from the story, that I heard he attacked her She hit him and ran out here, but I didn't know you were actually raped anyone. That was good. That was what was going around then that was was going around then. So I just thought so so that what happened was I thought? Ok, I don't even the story you hurry. I then she she got why should I heard I had heard stories that, like he invites women to his hotel room, he has his robe half open and he said like oh, come in and and then it's awkward and there her that with rose mc gowan, it was just a bigger story that I I basically just heard he attacked and she ran out right. I didn't Weird that, oh, he actually you know, had rain, caused her ear because there's this the the it's almost like he said about like you're, not trying to trivialize anything but with corey, haim and and

and korea corey feldman is that you know these two. These were rounded than now. There's sort of people saying that everyone's complicit, because No one was doing anything, but the story you hear is not always what happened. I guess it was. The story. Wasn't the full story. Right guess. I think most people didn't know that he was actually raping people. Think people thought that he was a horrible sexual harassment as a woman and that they had this on NPR special. I was listening to you. Look at other people who come forward with stories of sexual harassment and see how they're treated before you decided You're gonna come forward right. So, like you, look at a need. A hill like what happened to her you narrow, like she was like they try to humiliate her. They try to make her seem crazy. Like can you name a story of a woman who came forward with a sexual harassment story where she was treated respectfully and fairly brought before that time? Before now, can you I don't care I know so it's like as a woman when this happens to you you're like I could you know He didn't attack me physically, like he just basically insinuated. I need to have sex for a job like can I get him put in jail

for them, but there is also a dad I'm. Sadly, the thing is is like one that show business. you know, I'm going to say: that's harvey, that's harvey, don't go to his office, then we're going out loud and casting couch idea has been around since the beginning of movies. Right so is still that deeply and the more detailed and grow askew god as time went on, but it still always always goes back to you know. Women are meat in this business. Well, sometimes yeah you get a bit defeated as a woman you're like well. What am I going to do about this right? Can I fight the whole system like We're gonna make rules for yourself, but you shouldn't have to make and then you're lying to you. I will I get hired more. If I seem like, though, unlike this bitch, you woman complaining, like I don't know your legs, you ever once think that, like I gotta do this to get in

seem like you're already guy didn't, because I just from my point of view. This is how my mind works. I think any guy that is doing that is probably not going to fulfill. I mean like if I am like, if harvey weinstein saying have sex with me and I'll, give you a job what if he doesn't, then I had sex with him and he didn't give me you just like. I don't believe him, so I dunno, maybe he did give people jobs that he had sex with, but I'm just like I'm not the kind of person that can do that because I guess I just don't want it that Lee. I just couldn't bring myself to having sex with him more good no shame in that. I wasn't attracted to him like you, which is odd. It's funny, but honestly, there's something scary about him. So I'm not surprised that he was violent, because you know how you some people can like hit on you and it just kind of funny, and it makes you feel flattered or like whatever it's not a big deal, but he had a thing where it just felt like when you were around him genio. You feel like people just like rape, your

of esteem, the other gentlemen and hold a rider Larry they wanna is there on a power trip indeed like to make you feel bad about yourself in order that they feel better. That's just now felt around him, even without being like they exudes sort of boundary. Lists of speaker. I think he reels you in with charisma, he's making all these cool movies he's a sensitive guy and he's making very sensitive movies. But then, when you really talk to him, he's basically like I'm in power you're not- and I want you to feel this this this fact that you're totally like lesser than the yeah I've been out of your way ever veneration and felt that nine ever been around. I may I certainly neo, I know those kind of people I didn't get off, I'm like sadistic, yet they sadistic. But it's also a key believes that you have the entitled right. You know like eighty eight hour of ledge- I don't know- maybe I don't know if he, but he had real power in this, been to so much power, yeah yeah and, in the opinion, its yield. It's all that human beings

an abuse of power and getting off on having power? I know it's so good to see them go down to your like. Finally, there's some sense of justice in the world and like it's good to see that some men think that's bad too, because it's like it makes me feel. As a woman that some guys are like that sucks. You know I mean women should be able to move through the world without being confronted by dicks all the time they should be able to go to work and not have to deal with dicks all day. Yeah. That's for sure, it's a reckoning, yeah, it's a reckoning. Economic and you in your movie, you and your character like I'd. they can t like? I wrote I was working. I started work in this legislature. Seven years ago now we just happens becoming our right. After all, the stuff happened united before I made before god is itself is happening. Right is, but I just would like. Ok, my protest is not going to be to go to the police and say I was actually grass or go to the press at that time. It's like I'm, not write a movie and and and hopefully deal with this horrible sexism with comedy and sexual harassment

yeah but like it's funny, cuz, it's not as like. You could could have even been more pointed. Had you made it like? I know that's the thing I just thought. I don't know for people be power. Will this be palatable, because I really thought I want to make a female empowerment movie like? I hope it empowers men too, but I specify thought like I want empower women at, but I b it'd, be this like angry feminists, where people are like ugh. I don't want to listen to this, because in the past some people came forward with sexual harassment stories. People just be like ugh so the tire made it you're tempering yourself. I was tempering myself and making it just a little more like well, let's go for the comedy here and not make it as dark, because also, I just thought it's so depressing, and I just want to depress myself too much about one year. I guess it's interesting because a year, the though the way you guys talk to each other in the movie about we know where you're out wheels. I cast crystal clear as the harasser. So it's not like this gross harvey wine. Seen person it's like kind, is cute there is not a clown yeah. What do you think charming and he's not like you know known. I began job. I thought it was funny. I thought everyone's from god. What's her name from the?

fifthly, Angela she's great, he's a wary of. She acted the shit out of some of these. She blew my head. Ah I mean she definitely like the seymour. She phone calls her ex husband larry over, like she mixed comedy and drama, not seeing a way that kind of blue my mind on your thomas london's, pretty amazing refunding butter. Angela is just she's pretty awesome. While I was right like she went pretty deep in the idea of fairly those scenes with the guy yeah ponytail guy yeah yeah. Ok, we're really they really go in, for they really were really play those kind of roles. I know where you lay nervous she's, like oh, my god. I've never done like a sexy in pictures in the back room. Drinking you're a real number did she was nervous, Keziah, she's, very conservative and she's very, like she's, not like so but use at an hour. She. Did a great job and she definitely one for you and for it, and those the end. It was funny, though, because I think that we all the characters had these self esteem I know- and that was sort of the dialogue you know-

which is why young you now it's? it's like the dialogue is fuck. You we're we're powerful yeah, but I think that the honesty of those like all of you having these in enough fun fact years covering a self esteem. They do actually yeah but like he was all in relation to men, a lotta yeah. You know- and it was sort of in it's interesting- that you know you got Johnny knoxville playing this preacher Joseph later, our spoiler? But but you come from religion, I do yeah. My family is very religious, catholic and basically the scene in the beginning, where the dad and daughter are sitting watching a tv show. For me it was the love boat, but we couldn't afford the rights to that I still watch the love boat with my dad and he'd, be like the sea, those people going in that hotel room they're having premarital sex, and you can go to hell for that. I remember just thinking as a kid like this So scary, like I don't even know what he's talking about freaked out, did he did it with you? Yes, I mean that's why you went to church every sunday I went oh yeah until I moved out of the house with my parents. I went to church every sunday every holy day. I did confirmation confession

and if I may, I will say to me catholic used to say, like we should have sent into the convent really That is something that can generate glow here. I should have liked you to catholic italy to a nunnery. Yes, yeah. Well, you I mean catholic school happens. You got you, you have to go. Looking you got out, I was. I was watching that leaving a vicious and there's a scene where lake it's all about beating up on yourself right, unlike as I do not myself now sometimes Michael. This is where I got it and they can are girls a whip. Yeah they're like if you are haven't been a good catholic hit yourself with this whip, and I thought oh, I feel like that was kind of brought up to be like that. It's like! Oh, have you been bad? beat yourself up a lot to be better yeah mentally yeah. I didn't use a the actual whip but mentally so there really are you really were you were you were you were in it?

How exist like I'm heavenly yeah wise religion, bring us up to have like fear and shame or honour sexuality. What ultimately go if god created us, is in our sexuality, part of that and shouldn't we embrace. That is like a beautiful part of ourselves. So it seems like a opposite, doesn't make sense, whom you come out in the movie there, when I thought I was my personal journey side has put it in a movie cause. I thought, genuine telling the specific story, and I felt like to me: I went through it in my life and I thought when I was younger, I felt like art, and I think this is common with women, though I'm sure not all women, but I felt like I like sex, but love it under a light? Let me just do what I think the guy once, but I didn't really fully now. What I like because I was just like- I don't really get it and I'll just try to please the guy I think I reached a point where I was with someone and I'm like. Oh my god, I finally get why people like sex. You know what I mean, and I thought like you, what you said. Oh this must be love. I have to be with him for the rest of my life is now. I've realized that my sexuality is spiritual and beautiful,

so I'm in love and it's this guide. It's making me feel this way that have just been like. Oh, I just have this opinion or euros or like that's what it supply. Don't you I may ass well ass, we get older, enjoy sex more. I mean, like I'm saying it's, not all women, but I know from myself and other lot of other people. I know you kind of get more into your body ino and learn how to enjoy it more, Well, yeah! I think they're there, the there's a part of that movie where somehow or another you managed to do a fairly extensive. masturbating saying that was you know, as a viewer just completely I felt like I was interrupting. I felt like I was like you know. Maybe I should rather be alone again. It was so non sexual to the viewer. If that's a thing well, yeah. I was kind of going for humor cause. It's like: okay, it's not a porno, so I guess I was going for humor like she's kind of having a little drive, though right yeah and then in the second scene. I wanted to have more of like a spiritual likes that she finds herself through, like oh, you can give yourself a sexual,

oh yeah oregon's stars go yeah right, you're right, you've figured it out, but it was just sort of funny. He was so kind of guy passive. Do you know what I mean? I guess I put the headphones on definitely will you know it's like okay, when you break up with someone and you just had really good sex and you're like okay? Well, I guess I should masturbate like it's just not the same and you're just trying to find that sexuality inside yourself. Without another person you can find it you can, but arthur long glad that you put that out there to help people just take it I find the right music, web manual? You didn't know, regime. I know. Actually some people offered its money like these different, like dildo, it really is ideal to row. Give you fifty thousand dollars for now, like I dunno. If that's what I'm trying to say with the movie, I started a seller product at that moment, but we are offered money to use extra is at that moment and I think a good? They made the right choice, yeah an art, so it's like going back to. You know that

culture, is why spirituality in a lot of in the movie and a lot of of coming coming into people selves right at bay. How you doing we yourself, you, your I mentally these days I mean- I think it's like still beat up on yourself. I do yeah it's sort of like a like a a journey where I keep getting better and better still exists, so I'm just like a much much better at it, but I still have you know things I struggle with for yeah. It was okay. Well, like let's say you know, I feel like a lot of us can relate to this, but you grow up, and maybe your parents don't really know how to unconditionally love themselves, so they don't teach you how to unconditionally yourself. Have to be a loving parent to your own inner child. I know this is getting into sort of like a weird psychological interview vary, but you have to be able to speak nicely to yourself like, as is like unconditionally loving parent like great job great on there for you, you know, like I'm doing that for myself, and I know that sums incredibly dorky

but it actually is kind of great. No, I I completely know what that's like. I, I think that's true that you have to learn how to self parent. After a certain point, yeah ross, usually like okay, my parents tried their best. They definitely did some good things. Some things were not as good, so I have to correct that inside myself. Yes, you internalize some of the bad patterns or something and so they're like okay. How can I be more loving in this moment? as I was always brought up, maybe the religion of being a woman. To think I need to take care of other people first and not myself, and then I learned as an adult. It's actually. The opposite is true. If you take care of yourself first and you're, really loving than you have so much more to give birth, and actually someone had this really great thing is that the other day they said it's like an african proverb there like beware. The naked man gives your shirt

So how can you give somebody love? If you don't love yourself? You know where I tried to get into in the movie is well like you know, cause I felt like I was taught like. Oh you can't do things for yourself. You have to do things for other people, but if you really love yourself a lot and do things for yourself, then you just have so much more to give an ear to some more loving person and you're not coming out of like a resentful state like an wicked person giving someone a shirt yeah and it's hard to stay in that sort of like what we're talking about earlier, with spirituality, with comedy or staying out of the dread of the hopelessness or the self judgment or feeling like you're, not enough for whatever like, but the whole idea of the parents right. Yet the if you dont deal with that shit, you're expectation, be parenthood will never go away right, your side. It is like a. Why wasn't I- and these are my own view, and that is surely love the way I wanted to be you're, like ok out up to me to do that for myself and that also growth, because you're like I want to fill this whole inside myself with either the perfect released shep or the job there on your having adena whatever it is for you right, but but it really have to do it for yourself, thrives

kind of spirituality addressing inviting levin except herself with all your flies and imperfection in so hard extra work so hard day that I, you go to a degree. I'm I'm aware of everything you say and I've read some books about it and I you know I'm on top of it, but you have to actually do it is like hard. Why the only way I can do. It really is. Give myself breaks. Yeah, that's gone south care. yeah or just so. I don't beat yourself up about that yeah, What did you did it You know even sometimes it's stupid candy bars. So I hear you can fuck you have one canny bar as fine is it. so I mean you're not like eating eight can't, even though I know why you're so you know like you have to really decide. You know what you you're. What are you doing? it really worth you, no doubt beating yourself up for a day yeah, it's Oh you know what I do is I beat up myself a lot and I just go. I pray, I don't. I just go whatever universe,

power, whatever god like. Please take us away. You do this yeah, there's that hard do so, I believe in god. I don't believe in. Like catholic, though I mean there's really like nice catholic people out there. Personally? For me it doesn't really work. I just believe in like spirituality, right, yeah I just feel like it's so dumb like. Why are all these religions like hating, each other like we're all just trying to find spirituality and the same thing and like yet we decide like? if you're this religion you're going to hell like in the catholic religion, if you're, not a catholic you're, going to help yeah. That is so sad, especially for ongoing know what I mean like why, but every religion is kind of snobby like jewish people are just like. Oh, if the mother is not jewish, then your child's not jewish and you're, not whatever. So it's like every religion has this weird snobbery around their own way of seeing god, and it's is like why can't we be more open minded? Be like you're, another religion, that's what works for you! That's fantastic, ass, your muslim, that's fantastic leg! Whatever connects you to like love, yad zone,

don't kill people on illegal in people's terrible lotta religions have done it, they ve all done. It's like somebody said more people have been killed in the name of god and in an say her. You know it's like everyone's killing each other me like I'm on god, sigh right about what, if we're like all just struggling along trying to find spirituality and like there's, really no difference different is trying to find a point. What do we do with this amazing self awareness and what do we do with this knowledge of our own death? How do we make it? Okay? What do you do? What do I do comedy? Try not to think about it. How do we know death is bad like? How do you not know that may be? Death is great, will look you do know it's something over and not know. Anything at might not know anything at all. You know that I think that's really the carrier, the scariest thing and why people that's our laboured about it is that you know what, life mean and what, if you die and there's nothing, dying, actually you're happier than when you were alive. Why do you

Do you think that, like you, you're going to die, and I was going to be like oh thank canal, but I'm just saying we don't know so why assume the worst? Why what's the worst that hell is the worst hell is the worst yeah nothing's, not so bad yeah, if your consciousness ends yeah, you know you did it you cause like you know like sometimes when I think about death of Michael we're going to do what it can happen when all these books and it's sort of my god, you have a lot of cuba but like no one. Who cares I'm not going to know yeah death is the most vulnerable place in the world to be because you can't defend yourself anymore I think, manner more worried about death and women? Are the yeah me because you have more feelings of concern you're more. I don't want him to I'm cam and die. I don't know, what's going to happen as I am aware of just one more scared to not live life and to be miserable and live and let live go by and not appreciated and not be growing. Like my more worried about that could sometimes, I feel like I have a good life within. I could beat the shit out of myself and think it's terrible in reality have a fantastic like, I think, that's more tragic. Will you ought to just enjoy

the day I get, I get a little of that too. So awake. Let's talk, we can talk about boogie nights because you were so good. that, like whenever I see that actor that that guy that you the shit yeah, I'm I'm like of his face, healed up good, so funny. Actually, I mean in terms of introduce your interviewed Paul right. I gotta listen to that one. I did a while back yeah yeah. It was good because it doesn't do much of that hm. He doesn't like I would still like to do a lot of interviews tat of form, and I did I did it a very specific way because I d sooner from his work in from not knowing anything about and that he was some sort of dark brooding genius by you. Just is goofy kid from the valley. You know like that. I'll comes eddie. You you're, not everybody. yeah totally so it would I do like Hell. Do you need a daily twenty one? Twenty as twenty six? Also your

so you knew what was up. I mean that was just my big break. I think that just helped me have a more have a career where people knew my. But nobody in terms of porn and living in that worry. I round that yeah I mean you know like at the time. No one it really made a movie about poor. I saw a sort of like owes its gonna be super exploitation or, as is cool, I mean I thought his writing was amazing and for me, was a massive break at that time, but a lot of people like oh you're, making a movie about porn like actually, I remember Adam, corolla being like yeah. That sounds great. You know it's funny cause. I recently saw him he's like I'm. So sorry harassed you about boogie nights when that turned out to be such a good movie. He apologized recently. Now it was maybe like ten years ago, but after the fact he was like. I remember I was like you know, really giving you a hard time about making like and it totally exploit a porno movie when it turned out to be like a good movie. Insisting that he made an immense than me. I, like Adam yeah, actually I'm doing another interview with him like in a week or so good luck. Getting a word in

a crystal is gonna, be there sawdust? Let him make jokes. I wanted your love, your boy you're, doing that together, we're doing it together as like. I want christie, there is held us, be really funny and I can just sit there. I guess so. Nor do we be getting chris actress all the time Did you guys do a lot of like the comedy store, comes to rover and bring them up? You know fun. Yeah yeah I mean I I just love stand up comedy. I got really into watching stand up comedy recently. I just love watching it because of because of working with Chris. I think just cause. I don't know I really can. I just think I couldn't do it. So I just now. I want to hurt you. I watch and illegal rival. Ok, over the weekend, watching too dope queens No, I haven't, but I did their show their cool later. They have mostly women and people of color algae, bt people, and I don't know they were fine, but I love so many people. Like me,

watch Ali Wong. Have you asked them? I saw her, especially where she's pregnant I dunno hannibal Burress animals good Chris whitney cummings a little bit. I mean I just admire. I admire comedian, so I'm like how do they get up on stage and talk about this stuff? It's so personal and turn it into it's humor. Do you want to try it what I learned from them? Not unlike us how to do it in my life? That's it I like. How do I take hundreds of other live just? How do I find the humor, unlike terrible things or embarrassing things or myself, and I think it's really cool and white like I wanna crashing like PETE homs europe on area on a date the basis or what are you really dealing with that? You know that that would make you need to do that, like you know, to act to actually have a pressing sort of like how do I stop this from happening? What do you mean like

I can't wait to hear the thoughts oh yeah any day, like actually somebody said something the other day. I thought it was so poetic. He goes. I wake up every day with a storm in my brain. I can relate to that, like sometimes I wake up with a storm in my brain, I'm like how do I get these for me, the worst time is the morning on a depressed. In the morning and the rest of the day, I can get in like a better mood but more than ever writings, I write writing some more staff and I try to lake sometimes put suffer my writing and try to make exercise it. Do you just do general writing, or do I wrote two new things? One is called chosen family and it's about like a woman that gripped it's a full script, yeah, it's like about a woman who has a dysfunctional family and how it's sort of about how you know when you, your family, does things that bother you and then somehow you end up in that same dynamic with relationships but you're like I'm trying to, Where does? How does is kind of like follow me around? You know that sort of along so minds of the self parenting thing. Yes, the same

eerie, because if you can self parent yourself and hopefully you attract like a healthier dynamic but like say, okay, your family is really controlling and then you end up with a controlling boyfriend. You're like. Why am I repeating this? Is that happened here? Yes Have you ever done that I get I I don't. I don't I'm not attracted to control. I get a little chaos. I've had some chaos and drama that seems to be my dad was very explosive and my mom was kind of I dunno what she is, but you know, but I do. I shall ask you a lot of questions about this right now. Are you just get down with something, or even some? No, not just interested in. Like your, rental, dynamic of mine. I was areas explicit erratic and I ended bipolar monopolies. Ikea had eating disorders, and I was you always little whittier, but as time goes on, so that's where you your humor, I think so, but always wait I always wet her off the hook. For some reason, I think she's fully on the hook. She's gotten no way.

Women are crazy. It's like okay, it's hard to be a woman and you're. Looking at these ads you're, I don't know a single woman. That is not somewhat neurotic about something about her appearance, but you didn't have to let it go obviously deal with that in the movie too, and I think that's part of this, this reckoning is, you know, acceptance. Put ADI like yeah in trying to do that. More putting pressure on ourselves to be this weird ideal of like senior old model. Do you know what I mean it's like. We have to unplug ourselves from the culture and say I think I look good I look great and I'm going to feel great about myself and I'm not going to listen to. Never do you know what I mean: yeah yeah. So how? How do you see this new phase in your career? I mean: do you feel when you look back at your career cause? I mean you've done a lot of. Have you been in a lot of big movies? You've had a lot of shots. Yeah. I've been lucky to work. Yes, your work, a lot now what made you all of a sudden sort of like write, direct like he was there a moment where you're like I yam, and you know I gotta- take care of myself and another

way, will, I think, ok on one level, I guess an actress you're, like I really hope, like a guy hires me for the part of my lifetime, that will help may express my creative potential, but you like, maybe it's not going to use or better higher myself thought up and you're like maybe a man doesn't want to tell the same story that I want to toe, and then I guess you just think I want to tell a story about sending. It means something to me and share this sort of journey. I went on that. I think, is interesting. Whether or not it's you know, I just want to what you're saying I was listening to one of your things. We said you just have to get up everyday work on your craft. Do the best you can it takes, and I was just fun making things and it's more fun making something. That's like said something you wanted say you have control over and it's fine, even if it's much more scary and stressful, it's also like okay, I want women and men. I hope men can feel good and watching the movie too, but I want them to leave and be like can hart, and I I have whatever I want, and I feel great about myself and I love my girlfriends. I love life and, like my dreams can come true. I dunno I want, I feel, like I watched a lot of depressing movies. I feel like

means roles and movies. Can a lot of times were like the supporting character that, like some, was trying to kill us someone stabbing as some guys try? to save us. It's just like we're. Not that impact. Word in most movies and I'm just sick of watching those movies. I want to watch a movie with like a heroine I can relate to. That is empowered, that I can feel happy about yeah, yeah, yeah and so like. When now is this your first year in the first time and first time writing for some writing. So who did you did you did you lean on people said ye have his friend his name's Michael Nichols? He's a None of your pod costs actually, whose let you gotta get on that path, capture the best one and as my friend Michael nickels and Julia, his wife they are. I wrote a calves going to break up, so I started its conniston arrange your worth ago. I was gonna fuck a year, but I started writing script bay, this group of friends as hanging around with and then and then I went to this break up on his feeling, sad so MIKE. How can I write about the stuff that makes me sad is trying to make myself laugh and peace,

active. So I was doing that. I just kind of wrote it to crack myself up and gave it to him and he was just very encouraging and he was just like you should keep. and he was like you know you should direct this cause. I was like maybe I'll get a director cause. I had worked developing projects for ten years before trying to make movies about women. I tried to make the triangle factory fire story. I tried to make this like romantics. Comedy about this woman who's insecure, that no guy will ever have sex with her as a producer, an actress and people kept saying to me like no, He cares about women stories. If you want to get a movie made right about a man- and I was just like what's an and it was so forestry. And you know, and then I think I wrote this about my frustrations with relationships, my frustrations with hollywood, trying to make movies about women when people were just telling me that nobody cared and they were just

unless you're one of three women like you're, not gonna, like there's the three biggest movie stars, and they get to do that, but other than that all the rest of the women. It's like you can be the supporting role. If you can get. You know a big movie star to play his wife yeah right yeah, so you just took it into your own hands. So I was just like I'm just going to write this down about my frustrations and I'm like well. Maybe I could make this for not a huge budget, and then we found this financier. My friend Michael who loves your podcast. These finance years and then they basically ended up not having the money. So I had to completely followed after we had hired the whole crew and cast the homo being Wheatley fold and then we found another financier his bill, Sheinberg burgh and he's amazing and he's a part of this hollywood family likes. On work and the rain Sheinberg, and he just right supported us, and so then, luckily and weirdly this movies coming out right now, when people care about women's issues were maybe if we happened the earlier, we come on at a time or maybe nobody would be as interested in the subject yeah. So so the timings get the timings good and doubt

You do I could is it is a comedy and communism not easy, and you know, did you show the script a funny people yeah? I did. I tell you, I got how Molly has a friend, Steve corn, is he what he read it and he gave me something my shannon she's in it and she you and then I just I let a lot of the actors improv, I just say: look if you come up with something just try. It out know that if it doesn't work, they'll tell you not to do it. So I mean then he have like Thomas lennon and you're. Like he's like I love, you somewhat they're about you deeply without loving you. He comes up with these lines and you're like I care about you deeply without you know when someone is giving this half hearted love any like this is so hilariously keep up with so many funny yang here's girls. Just like you look horrible. Let me ask you about like cause, I'm dating a pair, and yet we notice that there is a lot of artists and their you're the concept. none of them was not great

Well I mean to be honest. Ok, there was a guy like that character, but he actually was not an artist. So I took a boyfriend I had who wasn't artists and combined with its other boyfriend, the wider lotta drug, oh yeah, the late artist, so I'm not trying to like this artists, but I'm just saying he had like a free spirited lifestyle that wasn't, like a ninety five sure immortal. Thomas London's character. That was once raid like out of nowhere. You, like always a big painter I mean? To be honest, I have a bunch of friends and different. You know. A lot of stuff is either taken from like friends or alike or me. I I combined a lot of people. You know like me, are different experience yeah, friends, boyfriends, ex husband, husbands, you know have what I have one married, never married but have girlfriends cessna on a guy, you know when you're, watching from a distance like why you placed on him I think he didn't really treat you that great, like somebody in a. Why are you, and so I told a story about angel's character because of that Oh yeah, that happens, yeah yeah. I thought they were. You know that

story and her story? You know I can completely. You know, relate to the other side. yeah man can relate to it. You know sure yeah the end of one that seem younger than that of water, if need be addressed yeah that that roy you ship seem like something from when I was young. That's the thing I don't like I've been in that relationship. I have friends we're just like. I never asked for what I wanted us to afraid he had been. So sad? You know you're just like. Let's just have the unconventional relationship where we don't commit and we're not monogamous, because we're doing this new thing and I have a friend did that and then the guy you're getting married and she was a. But what do you think that is right there, not asking for what you want, because if it be threatening or they take it as an insult or is it just a young, a programme in your brain I know that, like as the guy I decided that a different points in my life, it's very hard for people to hear things like that without thinking, I know what I'll do right, yeah, that's funny.

I think. Like I don't know, I think. Ok, I think, as women were sort of overly program like to take care of everyone so sometimes, and it doesn't really help because not sometimes honest with the other person like this is what I want like really that character wanted to say to him. You know if, I want to date me monogamous lie, let's break up, do you know, but in reality she's like I'll, just hang in there hoping it's like looking at a guy as a project or looking at his potential like me, that can change him. Like he's, got all this great potential violence hang around acting great he'll. Just who give me everything I want eventually, but is that a conscious? cider distant behavior. That's ingrained! Do you know what I mean like cause? It seems like. Do people really think you know what I did it. I yeah that stupid question. Yeah, you've done it right once and it fact it's terribly co. Dependency thing goes codependent anybody codependent yet, but I didn't. I didn't think I had that really and I wonder what relation to run like what the fuck like unto of juice, doing everything I could to

this woman, I'm in a psychologist would say maybe you're like repeating your parental dynamic, where your parent was never really there for you, and if you try to get them each it's so it's so you want to get that person is not there for you to be there for you, and you just feels like when you were a kid. What you do with your family so feels there's something about it that fills delicious, ensure. Finally, I'll get this love, and I never had. I wonder if that was it with that that was part of it, but I just war alternately comes down to you. I I see something new that I believe is there and you're not lacking in

What's wrong, gonna, try to control you in to examine that thing that I am an entire haivy onto exactly exhort you can fulfil. My fantasy and expert report does not make me nuts and say no because there's a little, but you can have a loud and healthy relation that everyone here that I got my fantasy. Just don't make me nuts and say now. So what have I? U relationships? Are you got in there or not? Really I'm tryin this one's better, because it's not drama filled. I went through some. You know heartbreak in some insanity, af, post heartbreak, and I don't think I've really kind of recovered from it. It's hard like. I am a little a little cynical, a little closed up, you kind of like your character and glove daddy, and I was it not only that wasn't a big stretch, but What are you? I guess I say well, okay, this is what makes me feel good about relationships. I just think what, if it's totally out of our control, and

it's not about. Oh try to be a good person and have just like okay. What? If I just turn this over out of my control? It'll happen, won't, and I'm just going to enjoy my life day to day, as some people say, like you really like being your relationship, has it's own higher power, so it's kind of like I mean look it's hard. Because normally I okay, I really you you want to try so hard to have some love that you want. You know but And sometimes doesn't happen yeah yeah, I don't know I'm not great, with being loved, not great with it yeah that doesn't feel quite right, yeah yeah, Well I mean whatever they would say it's because you don't love yourself. So if you love yourself, then I mean I'm good at like I'm good at it. For, like a year, two years and then I'm not as good at it in the past. What happened? her? No, I think I don't know if it's just the compatibility question where it's like: ok, they're, these great people, but maybe we're not totally compatible? Do they get annoying?

Sometimes it's me sometimes it's them. Some guys don't want to date, an actress who's like doing sex scenes in movies or just like. I don't want that. You know, or I dunno it's just you can get along with the person of a certain pet is a deal breaker huh I mean some guys just cannot deal with that they're just like not even if it's just kissing, even if it's just I dunno there and you'd. Usually you do sections you have in the past year. I don't know it's like wool, that's like what's a lot of actresses have to do it's not like or whatever it's in now you do to yourself. I did it to myself. I did it twice, I guess cause I'm just I'm interests. In sexuality and it's interesting yeah yeah it is, it is so I just did it from a female point of view that you and I think, that's you really. Oh okay, sorry it's my it's a guy want to give me guitar lesson, senora aiming at our. I do I do, but I'm sorry, you good good yeah, like I'm stuck around the thing right. There were the guitars yea at night.

at the time pretty good, but like I I just don't want to do. I want to next level it okay, I wanna learn some things: okay, cool and maybe I will feel like such a dork at fifty four magnetic In essence, I feel like do it and why should we stop ourselves from having fun just because we're like okay, once you reach a certain age, you cannot do anything fun, but in my brain for what like, am I going to start a band for fun, yeah? Okay, if you started a band, people probably listen and go see it yeah, but then you're that guy I like that he's a comedian, I guess he's doing a things and that just what we need another fifty five year old dude with a band alright I'll talk to you later. Nice. yeah. This is fun okay go see the movie watch it somewhere with seems like you can watch it in your home, half magic, written, directed and stars. heather? Graham that was pleasant. It was nice to get to know her a little bit. What what can I tell you I hooked up

clean out my paddles. move them with everything else. So I hooked up a paddle or two here and I'll play some guitar in the way the petals make it anyways. These pedals make it. You know what I'm saying. Alright, the the

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