« WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

WTF Uncovered - Maria Bamford

2016-12-02 | 🔗
We go back into the WTF Shoebox Vault to find another unaired pilot for The Marc Maron Show in Los Angeles from 2006. This time the guest was comedian Maria Bamford, the sidekick was still Jim Earl, and the investigative reporter was Eddie Pepitone. The only people who ever heard this were the people who made it, plus one angry program director who didn't want to put it on the air.

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ok, let's do this. It's another episode, w tap uncovered, which is things my producer, Brenda mcdonald found in a box underneath his bed, there's gonna, be a few different things like next week we're going to do and uncovered which by It is in actual deputy have interview that never aired due to circumvent as I will explain on the show, but today's uncovered is, little bit like the last one last friday. It's it's a lot like it. These are. These are segments. another aneroid pilot episode for the mark marin show a radio show. We did on katy allay into thousand in six these words for the g m of the radio station to to get our spot, which we already had. I think in retrospect I think he was just making as jump through hoops, because
hated the idea that there He would give me a shout, but there was some the deal made that was above him and, gonna happen anyway, but these were. This is the second two pilots that we for the mark marin show now on this one. You will hear again Jim Earl Is my side kick the the one foreign cranky, Jim rural and the guest I was actually maria ban for now. This is two thousand and six. This is a while ago and its earlier maria, but still perfectly beautifully maria and It was also the first time we used eddie pepper tone. whose some of you may know we. Him, as as an investigative reporter, he didn't investigative reporters segment. was radio. We did segments, we did funny things so enjoy this. Enjoy this w e F uncovered With a general maria bedford and the amazing eddie pepper town from two thousand,
in six live from Burma. California, home of plum, deliberating like sex. It's done now I m sure and now a man who sleeps and grover cleveland bathtub in the evening geniuses philosopher, kings and queens working class heroes, progressive utopians with no sense of humor lurking conservative as I'm mark marron. Thank you little Jimmy url over the lovely introduction. You're welcome, yeah, I'm very excited about tonight's show very excited. It's been a big day out there. Here's some real news jam here, some local news ralph.
supermarket chain has been nailed by federal prosecutors with more than fifty criminal charges, including identity fraud, money laundering and obstruction of justice. I now I dunno if you were here, but I was here. It was before I moved to new york and then came back. There was a big strike where sixty thousand union corks walked off the job. I mean I had a shop at vaughan's. It was horrible, alright, apparently ralph's, illegally rehired, some of those striking workers or I'd see what happens is when there's a lockout, the the the the remarked a chain says we don't need these workers at vienna, where industry with the union there out, but what rafts did is a paid they legally. We hired some of those striking workers, pay them with checks using faked names of fake social security numbers and had the workers cash checks at the stores. Now that chrome, company that owns roofs has. Of course the blame on the the few store managers, the bad apples, the older corporate, that bad apples ass, a few bad apples, thus trying to avoid the corporate level responsibility but dead. There's more! this story with a little help from our
best to get a reporter. Eddie pepperdine has been on the scene all day. The court has. What can you tell us today? Eddie Thanks marquis, what the hell is. This I shot at rouse, vines and albert since I come to find out. They are owned by the same company, hey how corn wondering about rosa this way. I don't get confused right, so robs bourns an album since we hi it locked out workers, so they lacked these guys out then illegally. Rehire them is an idea, don't fire them in the first place, if you're gonna, lock someone out locked them out right, my wife lacks. May I frequently because she says I can't feel my feelings, which I dispute because she passes
we offer anyway. We have three is that a house in which she locks me out, they are all inaccessible, doesn't matter how cold it is or if I'm feeling woozy from having some beverages that I shouldn't be driving to or from playing with that, I will change when she locks me out that houses impact, I dunno how she doesn't think she's getting a little aside from a locksmith, but my tears do not work, I repeat my case. So why does Ralph's? Let people back in after logging married is a major corporate supermarket conglomerate. Transnational cooperation, more compassionate than my wide array is a company with assets in the many many millions more mercy than my wife who, by the way, would have died. If I didn't give a blood back in eighty eight, but that's another story involving an accident. So why? Why doesn't have the concern of a kroger's or around that area? Is that one may go off white glove? I don't have to wait for them. I don't get it with Jim just to get it out here to out of here I'm an alright legit coop and alright. I will finish it will.
later- oh my god, alright right we'll get day, we'll get the rest of that story and injustice, and in just a little while when, when, when eddie calls off a little bed, while speaking a here. I don't want it and I want to check, you too, and here too much but here's something interesting. A woman in Santa Barbara went into a male processing plant where she used to work a postal employer employee. to employ. In santa barbara I went in there and a shot, a six coworkers, the last one dying this morning to sad story, but I think it's interesting when I'm reading the copy here that it says it is believed to be the deadliest workplace, shooting by a woman. So another rate milestone has been met by by a woman taking it to the next level GM taken into the next level in the in these psychotic killing on page in post offices. It never ends That's why they think it is you can you can understand that is sort of like cops, is sort of like people, it's like
It is apparently have a very high. A snapping rate is because every day dentists look into that mouth and see nothing but rod and there's no stopping it. Alright every day cops go out and they try to stop crime. They know in their hearts. It's never going to stop and postal workers, they sit on that line and they know that their always gonna be another letter to another place and now, starting to turn into eddie play us out where you jim play us out, turn of all you because you're listening to mark marin, shoe thing is real and not being to get hung about marge baron show forever they went together. Encore can mean that we do this
my marrying show for ever back to my recently discovered biological father father right now, we ve got phone call you who's on the phone there. Can we take this call bad guardhouse. Well, the kroger's. The crowd is a winner, maybe get more
Why am I weren't? Ok, I've been bad woman. Ok, ok! I write any. Thank you. Thank you. Everyone working with eggs. Thank you. Thank you. Eddie! Thank you. I that was, of course, are investigative report. Eddie peppered town with the I guess you called follow up on the on the story that the thereof supermarket chain is being now by federal. secures with fifty criminal charges. Thank you. Eddie will check back in as a new story for with Eddie peppered down I m very excited to have our guest here in the studio cheetah. One of my favorite comedians she's can also be seen on the show on comedy central, the comedians of comedy she's. the comedians of comedy tour that is going to be doing another weg, our guests, maria bamford. Thank you for coming. Thank you very much for having me on my so wait. You- and this is Jim. You can say hi to jail, champ, hey gonna say again Jimmy I'm real
yeah putting the Micah yeah, you are so funny the other night we did a small club here, in LOS angeles, I think it was called the small place on top of the other players was that there was a really poor taste. It's like a secret by monthly show, maybe, but that it was great- and you did this thing- that I'm not going to lie general to one of your bits or anything, but what was that thing? I think you're just working out at the hollywood self in the real sense that wants you to, let me, and only for a while, you start, You have this party or yourself that changes can enter hollywood. You know so like talking myself or the how I like Yes, you do something to help other people. You know english navy doing more of hay. Maria, you know what I do is I make people laugh. That is the greatest gift. To give to other
for wit, mortified, is kind of like we do. One thing like I went till I volunteered a soup kitchen it's like somebody needs a bubble bath yeah I find that about. I I beat the hell out of myself yeah, that's just exactly how you rationalize it like, but wait. I did do that one thing a long time ago, so we're now you're, I'm glad we caught you because you're going away for eight weeks right, a weeks you're not going to come home at all, well I'll, go but come back for, like you know like between philadelphia, an arm and minneapolis One would bring with you when you go When are you d of that sum? We're dead thing like I don't know what exactly I'm asking for, but like sometimes when I go on the road you, I am deeply stereo with you d of weird comfort, things that make you feel like you're at home. Anyways go they place. Do you ever did weird
it's on the road I bring ivory like you know people make vision boards or whatever you like. England is kind of like a smaller size from canada, and then I just look at the images that resonate with me when I'm away from home great unease- and Jim did you- that was what was. It was a vision a vision board is when you, they sent a magazines, you know sort of some magazines. Maybe someone normally red light, my forestry today or something go through their bigger, just cut out words and pictures. That kind of just for you make you feel something whether it's happy or are concerned or whatever. Then then, you glue it, take little paste and glue it on a piece of posterboard in any way, just just let it go easy? That's your fish those come compromises even those before
that originate division board, because you know you go to someone, you don't really knows house and you kind of look in the bedroom and there's one of those other wall, and you don't know at what point in their life they made it or what it meant to them. I They have a very tough the weird intersected subways desk. Gary like I perceive you walked round her queer channels of the cubicles. There's a couple vision board somewhere in Gaza will. I think it was mediaeval initially like a marketing like a salesman kind of tool. The pump yourself up, like you know, I'm gonna put this miser ADI emma refrigerator, so I can ride. I, where I get pumped royal stuff, but there now become a new age thing of like. I don't know, sell anything the out even have to work stuff is comes to me. Like Well I'll be at this. Electrical than a majority, but tell you a little more I put a little cut up. Picture of a microwave vision born years back candor,
and I thought there's no way I could ever have a microwave. Well, my sister was visiting from Minnesota and she said she some of his words. She said: oh Jesus, Christ, that's pathetic and she sent me her microwave yeah. It's magic magic, yet how's, your mom she's, very good, she's she's, a good chisholm she's concert. She wants my boyfriend to ask me I am the australian where yeah she just which uses less than that guy's gonna. sure cut bait. we ve been dating for nine months. I think he has a little bit more to you know we ve been enjoying getting to know too there hurry move on move but she likes to she likes she likes it, but she's like I think she does idea like my my parents, when they got, you know, like, descried on the phone once than my dad flew of fluted task.
where it really she just Moreover, I believe she got. Who are still here with emotional manipulation but I don't know why. But she's was more like a marriage. Happen happened away my sister garden gate within six months of dating her boyfriend. She put it on a vision board your boyfriend's, australia, he's australian, that's a long distance relationship. It certainly is, and we have been dating for nine months. As I said and three months I went over there's we get to know each other. Now he's come here for three months where we ve got to know each other yeah I'm going to go there for another month to work. I've done a lot of work in australia because I can't get much work in the us cause. My my comedy has been farmed out to a family by doing it faster
I feel more efficiently yeah and with a really good attitude and with less fear, yeah they're, nice people when true, because I think he's such a unique talent and I- and I can't imagine that you have trouble booking yourself in this country- is that really true? Well, I think it's just different, because in the other countries they have festival at spheres, will sure what I love and they also appreciate unique people write like they only people that just a reaffirm their stupid lives well they are now what I think, a lot of american comedy clubs. If people you know it's a it's a rare type of comedy audience, I think there is some of that developing now with some of the younger cats is that most audiences are like they want to be. Like I they're making me laugh at me as opposed like it's weird, weird right right well to just I will. I was
what tom lear the millennium goals to discern songwriter guy and a just that he he had said that one of the reasons tat performing a nineteen sixty, was that he was preaching to the choir innocent everyone who came to see him with somebody who had the same viewpoint as he did so he didn't feel like it was his valuable minors, nothing more contemptible in the choir yeah, because if you have done the same thing about the choir in it, it's gotta be true with tom with time, whereas that you'll get to it in point where, if you have any self hatred in you, they will pay you How can you like me, you, like me, you guys are areas that yet that's true, so let us going you're, australia, I've been australia, but but popular in Australia. Well two amongst certain people. This is just like the: u s, ideas, but the other big festivals we can make very good money perform these festivals and performing theatres up from incarnate glowed people are eating
stuff, and- and you know you don't or free passes, but I was in australia ears who happen to me. I'm only sure in this you been there before so right now I am do. I had been doing comedy about three years. I had maybe twenty five thirty minutes material. Some guy sees me in new york. He was booking a big club. I think it was called the last laugh in melbourne. I dunno, if it's still there anymore, he comes to the emperor new york city and says: would you like to headline in australia for five weeks and I know my heart that I cant do the time, but when you're in that position you right there oh yeah yeah. I can do it young and come headline for five weeks in australia in over a series of time. I went there and write off the right off the bat, the driving on the wrong side of the road. I started to lose my confidence. I know around there. It's weird in ireland and in the hague, the kangaroos MIKE, while I'm really far away from anybody and like you when you call on the phone it's tomorrow, and it was a problem because I couldn't panic with friends
he then and then I go to a talk, show and it's like the letterman show it's not letterman and again the desk is driving on the wrong side of the road like it's on. You know it's the steve, visor show or somebody okay, so I'm just starting to disintegrate, everything's fallen apart then the first night, here's the lineup. it's a host whose a comic and then this burlesque act, these two women with wigs and and accordingly and then the next acts, a guy who escaped from a strait jacket on still that's is closer. Are I know I can now mark marin and I'm in Australia and it's ridiculous and of course, are like that. Still that guy is a genius and I get up there and I just felt myself shredding inside, like I can't do this, I don't have the time. What am I going to do and as each night went by, we built towards a weekend the people are starting to come around a little bit, but it was a kind of weird
if Saturday night the place is packed like four hundred people are in the room that you know they just you know, got done and they had an intermission after the guy. That's another thing conditions that they have intermission right yeah. So I go up there and right out of the gate, an american, a guy with american axing of bridge, get that jacket like in a room full of four hundred people and literally for some reason. You know how some nights are so bad. You don't know why, but you somehow literally leave you, body and watch yourself. Do your act, yes to no response here. That was the worst. All I could hear were the embers of my cigarette burning, and I was just watching myself in front of four hundred people sitting there going. Oh man there's nothing. I can do to help you because I'd shut down and then it was just awful because I got off stage and it was at weird baptism and failure where you like almost relieved and then the guy sits me down the next day, takes me out to coffee, and he says this isn't working out. Maybe I'll pay you for three weeks.
And we'll call it. My mistaken you goin home and in that's all you know and am oh yeah, yeah, really. Are you sure you want to cause? I kinda like none. I thank god so right, one that little thing out of the car ships at the waiter comes up. It's ok! I saw you on this device. Our show you really funny where you guys well and I'm like now, I'm gone home, there's a problem, but that's my little story. I was sent home from a country, but I learned my lesson. Oh yeah have a good time there, yeah yeah. Well, you know what's weirdest cause, I I haven't tried your clubs in the us and I don't really do very well, because I'm a bit odd, and then you know when people will come in just for a generic comedy show. You know we could see the cavity like he. I am not usually what they are thinking of which I can understand how that would be disappointing. It's disappointing for me to see them and I put our trust, like this, I was like this weird home
come like festival, ensure huge festival and it's like a haze, and I d like ours. clearly when they distort risen and they go on for like an hour for two hours like I felt like that, like I'd, never felt like before? Were you happy for you yeah? It was an appreciate, theatrics or two, and they understand they're willing to. I see I get angry hearing you telling me that people don't like you in comedy clubs. Well, I mean now now it's getting better because of having any sort of tv credits to go. Oh, it's been on burn tv, you bid on tv the tv you know yeah they like you, then they get on tv yeah, it's weird, that's all that seems to matter to them. You can sit there and perform for them, and you know they won't refer to your actor like I saw you on the thing, yeah yeah that thing
What channel was it on their family and their ways? It discovery. What were you on countries that draw but it was so they know where you're here you know you look so small. which is something I am always wanted to happen now? What happens? Guess what not so, Not so excited you. Never do you hate it when there I would that other guy that you're on the thing with the decade and asked oh yeah about the wooden yeah I've got some, let a will be like supposing I was act and then I was certainly live in. There is a joke on it. There was a lot like one year jokes. I just think you should know about it. He of the common legally like you're like like well bluntly, I have you not an, but every idea of mine has been stolen from the greater atmosphere, so terms of you know, we're all thinking the same thing,
right and I are absolutely I'm right. Will always get events if that does not know what hooter looking out for and what their insinuating and what kind of life they have with their sitting there making notes you like those that the eye we share the comedy fanatics who are actually keeping check of that, but I cannot stand when someone insinuates it's like of they stole from you, or maybe you steal it from here. Like you, don't need to be my fan out. Only the kind of pressure will never get tammany blood, so tat people going out to the chosen and sorting out seven people, as it you seven sure, maybe ten or twelve, for your blog come on now, have you been to any blog? Have you been to any blog yeah, but how many people are there? There's like a seven, twelve, my mom's there in the chat room, but waiting to talk about my daughter is lovely. I mean my real name. Is she said? a chat room for oil, chinese people yeah. That was you type first, oh yeah, she's good typist
what maria I want you to be careful I care about you in nice The inevitable spiders at their own means that it is only in sydney, man thank your shoes, He has certainly wait a minute you're right. There is a problem. What the hell's a funnel spider, Jim funnels party, killion five seconds, getting out: it's a spider that kills him five years. I've been funnels, they live in any. They live in sydney, you can add, says yeah you a lot of them. I only nine forgetting his girl stuff, like that turkey is that look like I was lord swimming legal load is no shack mounted the speech you like with sharks right I put my feet: no water, there's a shark finning come up to the well looks like all key come. I would, but I guess I mean there. They never want to make any promises of what you know. What a shark does come up on a beach in nibble, your toes,
angry, it's weird about a series of they sought to have that attitudes are like Do you like me, like we're australia? I found that when I was there just for the week that their short insecure about the placement of their countries like we're over here no one really needs a the? U s used to park their ships here occasionally when they get left off maps all the that people are like and fosters like. I put the the test mania. They want put tasmania, which is a part of australia, built leave that part off they'll just put the giant continent without the noses solve these little things very well, I got a job on the shoulder will exert because he ended states geographically, should they have twenty million people manage the measures taken on the map and they yeah and they make it smaller than yeah. Well, I if they didn't Jim the map and have to be huge, sure thing points
well spiders? Where did they funnel spider in funnels? But when they check your shoes, he said you've got to check your shoes, they living there, how bigger they do and how big they are. They're like this can be careful. William area will want to see you when you come back ass. If everything goes well, yeah I mean tat, springs. Hooky authorities are keep going on. Thank you
the well. It's been a great week here on. The MARC marin show thanks for joining us. That, like to thank all our guests like to thank Brendan Madonna for producing the show my right hand, man or left, damn man. However, you want to call it Jimmy Earl next week we're going to have mark cooper, duck talks and politics, David bolinsky dogs movies, we're going to have a regular jack boulware to give us a dispatch from somewhere in the world and man. I am looking forward to the weekend- have a good weekend, sheeple the Well that was fun? Wasn't it old mark? old maria already For example, I should say young mark younger maria younger eddie and at times
with Gm Earl. Again next week on Debbie. you have uncovered, It is an actual w t interview that never aired due to circumstances. I will explain to you next week: ok, all right, have a good weekend. I see in Chicago tomorrow, night.
Transcript generated on 2022-09-04.